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How to Make Decadent Chocolate Caramel Bars

July 17, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

Do you enjoy chocolate caramel desserts? If so, you’ll love this delicious homemade recipe that tastes just like a candy bar! (And with much fewer ingredients, too!) The filling contains peanut butter, so if you’re a PB fan, you’re in for a treat also.

Just a warning, though – if you have a sweet tooth, you may find these chocolate caramel bars highly addictive! But, as with anything in life, moderation is key. If you’ve been craving something sweet lately, why not give these homemade bars a try? They take a few hours to make since they require refrigeration to harden, but they’re well worth the wait.

We hope you enjoy this recipe!

How to make your very own decadent chocolate caramel bars:

Are you ready to make this indulgent sweet treat?

Kitchen tools you’ll need:

A large mixing bowl
Whisk
Fork
Large rectangular baking sheet
Parchment paper
Large cooking pot
Wooden spoon
Large knife

Ingredients:

Crust

2 1/2 cups coconut flour
1 cup tapioca flour
3 tbsp maple syrup
1/2 cup melted coconut oil
1 tbsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt

Filling

3 cups peanut butter
1/3 cup maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup coconut oil

Top layer

2 cups dark chocolate
1/4 cup coconut oil

Toppings

Almonds
Hazelnuts
Raisins
Dried cranberries

Directions:

To make the crust for the chocolate caramel bars, grab the mixing bowl and pour in the coconut flour. Next, add the tapioca flour and use a whisk to mix them together.
Now, pour in the maple syrup and melted coconut oil. After adding the vanilla and salt, use a whisk or fork to combine the ingredients.
Next, pour the crust onto a large baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Use your hands to spread it out evenly, patting it down until there are no empty spaces. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
Now it’s time to make the filling for the chocolate caramel bars. Grab a large cooking pot and scoop in the peanut butter. Add the maple syrup, vanilla, salt, and coconut oil. Turn the heat on low, and stir the ingredients until fully combined.
When the mixture resembles soup, turn the heat off and pour the filling on top of the crust. Shift the pan around, so the filling fully covers the crust. Refrigerate for 1 hour.
Wash out the pan, and then use it for cooking your top layer. Pour the dark chocolate into the pot along with the coconut oil. Use a spatula to stir the mixture while the heat is on low.
Once it’s melted, pour the final layer on top of the filling. Now, get your toppings out for the last step.
You can either sprinkle all the toppings evenly over the chocolate caramel bars or separate them. We decided to cover 1/4 of the bars in almonds, 1/4 in hazelnuts, 1/4 in raisins, and the rest in dried cranberries.
Once again, refrigerate the bars for 1 hour. Now, use your knife to cut the bars into rectangular pieces. When you’re done, you should have about 32 bars – 8 bars of each topping. Now, dig in and enjoy your delicious homemade chocolate caramel bars!

Tips for making the best chocolate caramel bars on the block:

Make sure to press down on the crust firmly before baking it. This ensures you won’t have a flaky crust that falls apart on you. You can even use the bottom of a measuring cup or a spoon to help you out.
If you find that the bars haven’t hardened completely after an hour, refrigerate them overnight instead. You definitely don’t want to cut them before they’re ready.
Not a fan of the toppings we suggested? No worries! You can choose from plenty of others, such as coconut flakes, walnuts, or peanut butter chips.
Choose smooth peanut butter for the filling since it’s easier to melt than chunky options.
If you’re not a fan of peanut butter, you can always make a different filling. We made a “caramel” filling in our own way to use fewer ingredients, but if you’d rather go with the original recipe, we hear you.
To make your own caramel, you’ll need butter, salt, sugar, corn syrup, and evaporated milk. Melt all the ingredients except the milk in a pot over medium heat. When the mixture comes to a boil, slowly add in the evaporated milk. Pour into the pan and refrigerate immediately. For more detailed instructions, you can follow this recipe.

Other chocolate caramel dessert ideas

Can’t get enough chocolate caramel? If you want to make use of any extra ingredients, you can also try out these recipes:

Salted caramel chocolate chip cookie bars. This one’s pretty similar to what we made, except you’ll use chocolate chips instead of a thick layer of pure chocolate.
Frosted turtle brownies or a turtle cake. One of the most famous chocolate caramel desserts out there, turtle brownies or a cake will surely satisfy your sweet tooth!
Chocolate caramel fudge. This gives traditional fudge a twist, adding more flavor and decadence to every bite.
Chocolate caramel cream pie. This easy no-bake dessert is rich, creamy, and only requires a few ingredients. After all, it’s hard to turn down a slice of chocolate pie!
Chocolate cookies with caramel creme. If you’re a chocolate cookie fan, you’ll love these even more with the gooey caramel filling.

Final thoughts on these decadent homemade chocolate caramel bars

You can’t get much better in life than having chocolate and caramel in one recipe. That’s why you’ll love these bars because they combine the best of both worlds! Whether you make the caramel filling in the recipe or a more traditional filling, this recipe will not disappoint. We know it’s tough, but try not to eat them all in one sitting! (We won’t judge if you don’t want to share, though).

On a hot summer day, these chilled chocolate caramel bars truly hit the spot. If you make these, let us know how you like them in the comments!

A Dog With a Cute Smile Gets the Life She Deserves

July 16, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

Holly adopted a dog with a cute smile named Lupa about two years ago. She ended up fostering her, and after just a month or two, they’d become best friends. At that moment, she knew she couldn’t let the dog who stole her heart go back to a shelter. So, she adopted Lupa, and the rest is history! Here’s their story below about a dog who finally found a loving home and the owner who made it happen.

Holly originally found Lupa searching for food on the street. She had a puppy with her, which Holly presumed was hers. Rescue groups wanted to get her off the streets and into a foster home ASAP. When Holly came across Lupa, she felt called to take on that role as a foster mom.

Holly said this:

“We don’t know what happened to the other puppies, and we don’t know anything about her background. We don’t know how long she was on the street for. Her puppy was fortunately adopted almost immediately, whereas Lupa didn’t have anywhere to go, so I offered to foster her.”

Of course, it took Lupa time to feel comfortable in her new home. Holly said when she first walked in, she didn’t even sit down. She just wandered around trying to get acclimated to the foreign environment. Without the puppy by her side, Lupa felt very alone.

She had severe abandonment issues and would constantly follow Holly around, making sure she didn’t leave her. Lupa also would look over at Holly often, even while they were in the same room. She never let her out of her sight and just wanted Holly to accept her. She couldn’t go through the pain of being abandoned yet again.

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Holly decides to make Lupa a permanent member of the family

Holly initially fostered Lupa so she would have a better opportunity. Once the foster period was up, however, Holly realized how attached she’d become to Lupa. She felt total responsibility for the safety and happiness of this dog. Since Lupa didn’t have the best start in life, Holly wanted to give her a second chance.

All beings need love and affection, and no one deserved that more than Lupa. Once she decided to adopt the dog with a cute smile, they started going on tons of fun adventures together. She even made some dog friends that she plays with, who her mom calls the “wolf pack!”

“Now we live in the mountains where we spend the warmer days by the lake, swimming and going in the canoe. And then we will go on long hikes, for hours,” Holly explains. “She loves being outside, she loves exploring, she loves being free, she loves everything, she loves the smells. And then afterward, she’ll come back inside and be absolutely exhausted, put herself in the funniest positions, and fall asleep, usually with her mouth open.”

Overall, Lupa is a fun-loving, sweet dog with a cute smile that will steal your heart. Holly says she loves walking through the door to Lupa’s sweet face every day. It’s incredible how coming home to a dog can brighten your whole day!

“Lupa has got a great personality, and you can tell how she is feeling by her facial expression. She’s an incredibly expressive dog, which is hilarious, and she has made everybody that knows us so happy. She brings so much joy; she really is lovely,” Holly says lovingly of her furry friend.

One of Lupa’s favorite activities is rolling around in a mud puddle after a good rainstorm. Her mom says she’ll play in the mud for a good 10 minutes before she’s ready to come out. She’s very easily entertained, apparently!

The dog with the cute smile now lives an amazing life

Lupa has come a long way since her days of being a street dog. She’s in a much better situation now, but her mom says she’s given them far more in return. Lupa has reminded the family to appreciate the small things in life and slow down a little more. She’s also given them unconditional love, as all dogs seem to do effortlessly.

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A post shared by Holly (@hollyandlupa)

Even after the first couple of months of fostering her, Holly still had a few doubts, however. She thought about giving her back, but then the rescue center contacted her. They messaged her asking for updated photos of Lupa so they could find her a forever home.

At that very moment, Holly had an epiphany. She’d already found her forever home, so Holly asked for an adoption application. Why give back the dog with the cute smile who had totally changed her life?

Lupa came into Holly’s life quite unexpectedly, but oftentimes, the best things in life do. She’s very thankful to have come across Lupa because they’ve brought so much joy into each other’s lives.

“My advice to anyone thinking about getting a dog, I would definitely look to see if there are any dogs that they are adopting in your area. There are so many organizations around the world, and there are so many dogs that desperately need homes, like Lupa,” Holly says.

“And there is this kind of unconditional love which you get from a dog that’s rescued – it’s as though they understand that you’ve given them a second chance, and they really appreciate it. If you can adopt, please do because they all deserve a second chance.”

Final thoughts on the dog with the cute smile who found her forever home

When you come across a dog who’s living on the streets, it pulls at your heartstrings. You want to help them however you can, and sometimes, that means adopting them into your family! That was the case when Holly found Lupa on the street in Spain, living off scraps with her puppy.

The puppy got adopted quickly, but Lupa had nowhere to go. However, when Holly found her, something clicked and told her to bring Lupa home. Now, she’s a permanent member of the family, and the dog with the cute smile gets another chance at happiness.

7 Red Flags That Reveal an Emotionally Immature Person

July 16, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

Have you ever met someone emotionally immature? These people love to engage in blame-shifting, and they’re not much on taking responsibility for their actions.

Here is a significant difference. When someone is mature, they understand the fundamentals of building healthy relationships, but immature ones often have poor relationships skills.

Imagine a two-year-old and their ability to form relationships with others. They see the world through vastly different lenses as they lack understanding. They see people as those who cater to their every whim.

Sadly, the emotionally immature person often has the same view, but their age doesn’t agree with their mentality. Keep in mind that emotional immaturity takes numerous forms. However, one of the most identified types is developed when people cannot understand their own feelings.

Each person on this planet has a certain level of immaturity, but the mature points make up for the differences. Are there not times when you’re wise beyond your years, and at other times you seem to be a bit oblivious regarding matters. Some say that achieving emotional maturity comes from having emotional strength, which helps folks to remain balanced.

This Common Scenario Describesan Emotionally Immature Person

You’ve met the man or the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with. They seem charming, caring, and they check every box on your proverbial list. However, after being together for about six months, an argument turned quite nasty, and they called you an awful name.

You cringe at the reference, but you’ve chosen to forgive them. Suddenly, there’s a large sum of money missing from the checking account. They get angry when you go to visit your parents or have a night out with friends.

In fact, they seem to want to put you in a box now that you’ve committed. The person who was once so charming is now becoming unbearable to live with. They have no friends or family that comes around them, so they insist that you be with them at every moment.

You’re starting to feel smothered, but what do you do? You’re not the first person to be in situations like this. It’s the stuff that television movies are made about. Someone with an immature personality disorder is often considered to be a borderline personality, according to an article posted on the National Library of Medicine. If things turn sour quickly, you need to run fast to get away from this person.

Seven Traits of The Emotionally Immature Person

You must understand and be able to recognize the traits of someone emotionally immature. The signs that you see today will be the very thing that will interfere with a relationship tomorrow.

So, it can save you a lot of heartaches to be well informed. Here are the seven most common traits among these people.

1. They’re Inconsiderate and Selfish

One of the most significant red flags that someone lacks maturity is that they are selfish and inconsiderate of others. Do you know someone who thinks the whole world revolves around them? You don’t have time to baby such a person, as life is stressful enough.

This individual cannot seem to accomplish anything without help. They will refuse to take care of things; then, they will blame you for not handling the situation or their needs. You can quickly identify that they have some severe narcissistic traits going on.

The inconsiderate often have large egos, and they will develop their own beliefs whether they’re right or not. This person needs to break free of the chains of their ego that bind them, and it’s impossible to have any affiliation with them until there is change. They must learn to take responsibility for their actions.

2. They Will Never Say “I’m Sorry

It’s a challenging struggle for someone who lacks the maturity to say they’re sorry. Even if they’re clearly in the wrong, and they know it, they will do everything in their power to keep from saying these words. Instead, they would push the blame onto you for why they acted the way they did or said such things.

A mature person can admit they’re wrong, strive to make changes to fix the error, and communicate about the issue. Everyone is responsible for what they say and do, regardless of who triggered them. The egocentric doesn’t like to apologize or ask for forgiveness because they love to play the martyr and pretend they’re not at fault.

3. They’re Verbally Abusive

Since this person has little regard for the feelings of those around them, they tend to be quite verbally abusive. They don’t care if they say things that will hurt or upset you, as long as they get their point across. The crux of the issue is that they have a lack of expression, or they don’t know how to communicate effectively.

Have you ever heard someone who curses with every other word? This person likely lacks the verbal capacity to communicate their feelings effectively. These folks go to extreme measures to get their point across, and it can be a real issue if you’re in a relationship with them. Never engage in a verbal war; they need time to cool off.

Clinical psychologist Susan Heitler, Ph.D., noted in Psychology Today that adults lack problem-solving skills and resort to tactics like name-calling and bullying.

4. They’re Extremely Defensive

The selfish person has many defense mechanisms in their arsenal. Since they like to avoid conflicts or get to the bottom of an issue, they will use whatever tactics they can. Even if they know they’re wrong, they will still argue with you till they’re blue in the face that they didn’t do it.

They’re defensive; you will especially see this trait come out when things are not in their favor. Their defense mechanisms are a significant part of suppressing their emotional consciousness. Some might protest so loudly that they believe they didn’t do the act, even though they know deep down they’re guilty.

5. They Spend Impulsively

The emotionally immature should never be in charge of finances, as they often have impulse control issues that defy rationale. They will have no qualms spending the bill money for a night on the town or to satisfy their needs. However, when it’s time for the rent, electric, and water bills to be paid, they will suddenly want to get close to friends and family members they blew off previously.

They spend money like there’s no tomorrow, so they’re likely to have lived in several homes, have evictions on their record, and have charged off checking accounts. Their impulsivity is a driving force for why they’re in debt. If you marry or are in a long-term relationship with this person, you should handle the finances unless you want to live in poverty.

6. They Have Few Relationships with Friends or Family

Troubled relationships are quite normal among the immature crowd. Due to their selfish nature, they often rub people the wrong way. Even their relatives have marked them and have little to do with them.

Since their desire to be the center of attention overshadows everything else, many people don’t like their attitude and overall demeanor. When they’re in a relationship, they will insist that their partner spends all their time with them rather than going out with friends and relatives.

Because they don’t have those close inner personal relationships, they won’t want their partner to have them. If all the focus isn’t on them, then they can become quite resentful. Healthy relationships should have time together as well as some time apart.

Maturity allows someone to understand that it’s okay to have some independence to have a well-rounded life. However, the emotional immaturity of this person doesn’t allow for such things.

7. They Gaslight Others

Since nothing is their fault, they don’t like to be cornered. They will turn it around on you if you are in a relationship and start figuring out the error of their ways. They will do everything they can to make you question your sanity so that you will turn the focus off them.

This person can be pretty devious and selfish, so they don’t care to hurt you. The goal is to preserve themselves in the matter, and they don’t care about you at all. The emotionally immature has a lot of characteristics that cross with the narcissist.

According to the National Library of Medicine, a narcissist is a person who lacks empathy, needs admiration and has a grandiose view of themselves. It’s easy to see how the immature and the narcissist definitions intermingle.

Final Thoughts on Dealing With an Emotionally Immature Person

According to the Cleveland Clinic, thirteen different personality disorders exist. The immature person can fit into several categories, and they are challenging at best. Thankfully, you can use this list to help you reveal red flags that warn you to avoid this relationship.

Given the time and chance, someone who is selfish and inconsiderate can really mess you up emotionally. Their emotional immaturity dictates their life, and it can make yours unbearable.

12 Good Things That Happen When You Stop Repressing Feelings

July 16, 2021 by Kristen Butler

Do you carry burdens that seem to choke the life out of you? Some refer to these massive weights as carrying a heavy load. But the damage it does inside is far more significant than what people realize. Worse, you inflict even more stress if you start repressing your feeling in an effort to stay strong.

Life is full of disappointments, but according to the National Institute of Health, it’s how you react to these setbacks that can alter the course of your existence.

What Causes Someone to Start Repressing Their Feelings?

Repressed feelings describe emotions that you unintentionally avoid. These are different from suppressed feelings, which are sentiments you deliberately sidestep as you don’t want to deal with them.

If you and your spouse decide you want to get a divorce, it doesn’t mean that you can call off work or the following week. You must still go to work and handle business, so you push aside or suppress these emotions until you have time to deal with them.

Often, people suppress things as a short-term fix when they can’t handle the situation right now. The key is that you must deal with them at some point or cause a big problem. Repressed feelings are those emotions that you never processed.

Don’t think that these feelings and emotions will disappear if you don’t deal with them, as they will linger under the surface. In most cases, they will come out as physical pains and discomforts because your emotions are causing significant distress internally.

A hypothetical example would be Carrie, who lost her mother at a young age. She was forced to live with a father who didn’t know how to connect with her, and she often felt alone. During her teenage years, her father becomes quite abusive.

Shew grew up thinking there was something wrong with her and that she was a bad kid that made her mom sick. She furthered validated this emotion because her dad didn’t seem to like her either. Feeling like a failure and an outcast defined her life.

The burdens she carried were indeed too much to handle, and what happened to her as a child affected her as an adult. She repressed years of frustrations and feelings of inadequacy that spilled out into her marriage.

Carrie suffered from depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. If only she knew how to stop repressing her feelings, she could have a more positive life.

Common Types of Repressed Emotions

Most of the emotions you repress will be unpleasant or those that cause you significant discomfort. The most repressed feelings are anger, sadness, fear, frustration, and disappointment. Essentially, people suppress those things that are negative.

It’s not uncommon for individuals to fear judgment from others, or you may beat up on yourself. In most cases, these feelings stem from childhood. Parents of yesteryear weren’t so good at psychological aspects, though many improvements have been made.

Parents didn’t always validate your feelings, and they may have even encouraged you to stop crying or showing any outbursts. So, you learn to repress things so that you didn’t get into trouble. You learned to be out of touch with your emotions, and it can follow you into adulthood.

Twelve Positive Things That Happens When You Stop Repressing Feelings

What baggage do you drag around daily? The load is heavy to carry, and it’s causing you more problems than you know. Perhaps you should understand the positive things that will happen when you stop repressing your feelings. These are the things that can happen.

1. You’ll Have Less Stress

Stress is inevitable in life, but sometimes you can cause yourself more pressure than you need. When you ruminate on your problems or don’t deal with issues, you’ll cause your muscles to tense and your mind to become overloaded. Laying your burdens down will give you more energy to focus on other things because you’re no longer preoccupied with all the negativities.

2. You Will Have Lower Blood Pressure

There is a direct link between your blood pressure and your stress levels. According to the National Institute of Health, when you’re under stress, your body releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to combat the feelings. These hormones will increase your blood pressure levels.

So, it stands to reason that when you stop repressing things that are causing you stress, it will lower your blood pressure.

3. Your Whole Outlook Will Change

Have you ever carried around a heavy purse or duffle bag? Remember how relieved you felt when you put down that weight? You will receive the same relief when you get rid of your repressed feelings.

Getting rid of the thing that torments you emotionally will give you a whole new outlook on life.

4. You Will Experience Better Relationships

Perhaps you hold resentments and failures from past relationships. You can’t move on to someone new when you’re constantly stuck in the past. Remember, it’s not what’s behind you that counts; it’s the lessons you learn that help you move forward.

5. You’ll Have Better Communication

No one feels like talking when they weight the world on their shoulders. When your emotions are off-kilter, you don’t feel like getting out of bed and facing others. You can have more open communication when you learn to talk about all the things that are bothering you, especially if you open up and talk to a counselor.

6. You’ll Smile More

You will feel so much relief when you handle your emotions that you will want to smile more. It’s challenging to put a smile on your face when your whole world seems to be falling apart. However, positivity gives you a reason to beam.

7. The Future Won’t Seem So Bleak

You’ll start dreaming again. When you’re caught in the vicious cycle of ruminating about your problems, it’s impossible to think of your future. When you’re stuck in the past, and your emotions are a mess, you want to get through the day. Thankfully, laying your burdens down will help you feel better and look to the future with hope.

8. Depression and Anxiety Will Lessen

While some depressive episodes come about because of chemical imbalances in the brain, others are brought on by circumstances. It’s natural to feel down and blue when you’ve lost a loved one, your job, or had some other horrific event in your life. Once you get rid of all these repressed feelings, you will feel some of the cloud of depression lift.

9. Your Attitude Will Change

It’s easy to have a bad attitude when you feel down and negative all the time. Releasing the burdens that you carry can be so freeing. Not only will your outlook on life change, but your attitude will improve.

If you’re sad and blue all the time, then you won’t have a reason to smile. Oh, how wonderful it will feel when you finally conquer these demons that plague you.

10. You’ll Have Courage to Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Fear and anxiety about your future will hold you back. Maybe you want to go back to school, put your foot in the dating pool again, or try a new hobby. You may have lacked the courage to do these things before because your emotions were so out of whack.

However, once you get things back under control, then you will feel like taking some risks. After all, if you can conquer those repressing feelings, then why not tackle something else.

11. You’ll Feel Like Getting Out and Doing Things

Remember all those phone calls and invitations you turned down because you didn’t feel like going out? It’s completely normal to want to close yourself off in your bedroom and cry. Sulking won’t get you anywhere in life, but getting out and mingling with others will help.

Most people want to feel like they have a life, and it’s hard to feel like a contributing member of society when you’re miserable all the time. Your emotions can be just as bad as a raging storm that is causing massive destruction. Once the winds and waves die down, you can learn to see the beauty all around you.

12. You’ll Love You Again

While many situations can hold you back, it seems that matters of the heart are the ones that hurt the most. Stop beating yourself up over things you did or didn’t do right with pasts loves. So, one relationship didn’t work out; it doesn’t mean that the next one will end the same way.

There is someone for everyone, and your special person is waiting for you to find them. However, Mr. or Ms. wonderful doesn’t usually knock at your front door, so you will need to get out among the people again. When your heart has been healed from previous damage, and you have your emotions under control, then you’re ready to fall in love all over again.

Final Thoughts on Repressing Feelings

Repressing your feelings is only holding you back. When you drown in negativity, you can’t get on to the positive things that life has for you. It’s time to deal with all the emotions you’ve put off, either by default or on purpose. It’s time to live again, and this can be your first day and the first step towards healing.

20 Habits That Help Stop Social Anxiety Symptoms

July 16, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

You’re in the grocery store doing your weekly shopping. Suddenly, you feel hot, sweaty, and an overwhelming sensation makes you feel impending doom. Your senses go into overdrive as you listen to the cartwheels screech and the chatter of those around you.

The lights seem blinding, and the noise unbearable. You’re not dying, but the social anxiety symptoms you experience make shopping extremely uncomfortable. Some find it hard to breathe and struggle to catch their breath, while others become dizzy and have chest pains.

Social anxiety disorder is quite common, and according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, it affects around 15 million people in this country. Roughly seven percent of the population deals with these uncomfortable sensations daily. The good news is that this condition is treatable.

The problem is that when it’s left untreated for long periods, it can morph into agoraphobia, which is the fear of being in social settings. People with agoraphobia tend to find a safe place, like their home, and they don’t want to leave. They become reclusive and avoid social gatherings for fear of another attack.

Agoraphobia is a severe mental health condition that makes life unbearable. You’re not living when you’re so afraid that you won’t go outside your home or to a family gathering. Thankfully, there are ways to combat these feelings to retrain the brain not to fear social interaction.

Twenty Useful Ways to Combat Social Anxiety

You feel that there is no way to fight the social anxiety symptoms you feel, but don’t let your anxiety dictate your life. Your stress is a driving fear that will cripple you if you allow it.

However, you have the power to stop these sensations by merely standing up and fighting against this mental illness. The more you push yourself to get out and socialize, the easier it becomes. Here are the top ways to combat the uncomfortable effects of social anxiety.

1. Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings

Social anxiety symptoms will cripple you if you allow them. Thankfully, you can combat the negative-thinking patterns by journaling. Journaling gives you a space to get out all the negativity as well as chart your progress. It serves as a place where you can let everything out and let it go.

2. Try an Herbal Supplement

Many herbal supplements serve as excellent aids to anxiety. Things like lavender, kava, lemongrass, chamomile, and valerian can help balance your brain chemicals, easing the symptoms you feel.

3. Laugh

One of the issues that people with social anxiety have is that they spend so much time worrying they don’t laugh or even smile much. Laughter is very healing for you, and when you are belly laughing, you’re releasing those feel-good hormones into your system. According to the Mayo Clinic, laughter can be as effective as some other treatment methods that come with unwanted side effects.

4. Avoid Sugar

Few people know that sugar and anxiety are connected. When your blood glucose levels rise, it automatically causes an increase in pressure. If you experience panic attacks after consuming a lot of sweets, it’s because sugar messes with the body’s natural physiology.

5. Set Goals

Make small obtainable goals for yourself that increase with time. For instance, today, you will sit in the car for 15 minutes. Tomorrow, you may drive down the street for two blocks. Don’t expect your social anxiety symptoms to go away overnight, but you can start using exposure therapy to inch your way back to a normal life.

6. Take a Vacation

Sometimes social anxiety shows up during times of intense stress. It may be that you need a change of scenery. Why not take a vacation and regroup? Your brain may be overloaded and requires some downtime.

7. Spend Time in Nature

Is there anything more perfect than spending time in the great outdoors? There’s something wonderfully healing about sunshine and a gentle breeze. If you’re cooped up inside too much, one of the ways to start the healing process is to get outside and soak up some Vitamin D.

8. Ditch the Caffeinated Drinks

Caffeine is a stimulant drug that can increase your heart rate as well as you’re breathing. Alone this drug can make you anxious, but it can be a nightmare when you add an anxiety disorder to the mix. Avoid caffeinated drinks and see if your anxiety improves.

9. Start Saying Yes

Your friends and family members might not ask you to do things anymore because the answer is always no. Start saying yes to invitations, and don’t back out at the last minute either.

10. Join a Support Group

Remember, you’re not alone in this fight. Nearly seven percent of the population is suffering from anxiety. Find an online support group to share your stories and get tips on how to overcome them.

11. Congratulate Yourself

Once you make a few steps towards reacclimating with society, congratulate yourself. The brain’s reward centers respond positively to praise, so go ahead and pat yourself on the back.

12. Replace Negativity with Positivity

Part of social anxiety symptoms that is hard to overcome is all the toxic negativities. You think things like:

I’m going to pass out.
I feel like I can’t breathe.
People are looking at me funny.
The atmosphere seems weird.

Every time a negative thought enters your mind, stop it cold in its tracks. Replace them with a positive one. For instance, when your brain tells you that you’re going to pass out, you remind yourself that you haven’t passed out this far with this disorder, so it’s doubtful you will now.

13. Talk It Out in Counseling

Counseling is an excellent tool to get all that negativity to the outside. It would help if you got to the crux of what’s causing the heightened anxiety so that you can combat it.

14. Realize You’re Not Perfect

Did you know that perfectionism and social anxiety often coexist? You must realize that you or anyone else on this planet is not perfect. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be something impossible.

15. Use Positive Affirmations

Start each morning by combating your social anxiety symptoms before they begin. Say things like:

• I will not fear going to the store today.

•I will accomplish all my errands without anxiety.

•Anxiety will no longer dictate my day.

•I won’t let any anxious feelings stop me from doing what I love.

When you start feeding your mind and soul with positive affirmations, it will change your life.

16. Retail Therapy

While you don’t want to trade one issue for another, retail therapy can help. You can push yourself by telling yourself that you will buy yourself a new outfit if you make it today to get out of the house. While you can’t do this every day, little rewards give you an incentive and a reason to keep going.

17. Visualize What You Want

Have you tried the new virtual reality games? Experts have begun using these in therapy as it helps with exposure. You don’t need to invest in an expensive game system to visualize an alternative reality. Imagine yourself walking through the store, aisle by aisle, without issue.

Since most of the battle takes place in your mind, then that’s where you should start to combat these opposing forces. If you visualize yourself free of social anxiety symptoms, then it won’t be long till it happens.

18. Practice Being Present in The Moment

If you’re at a social gathering, and you feel those anxiety symptoms creep in, then it’s an excellent time to practice grounding. Find things in the space you notice, such as the flowing, paint color, art on the walls, and other details. By shifting your focus to something that ground you in this space, then you will release some of the social anxiety symptoms you feel.

19. Cherish Alone Time

Did you know that many people with social anxiety are natural introverts? Introverts need time to recharge their emotional batteries, and they can do this by only spending time alone. It’s okay to be alone sometimes; make sure there’s time for socializing too.

20. Use Self-Talk

Self-talk is one of the most excellent tools you have against anxiety. If you get overwhelmed at a traffic light, you can talk yourself down from this heightened state. Telling yourself that you’ve been to tens of thousands of traffic lights in your life and they never harmed you will help to dispel the fears that anxiety fills in your mind.

Final Thoughts on Controlling Social Anxiety

It’s challenging to combat social anxiety symptoms. Some folks may struggle with SAD for a short period, while others may have a lifelong battle. Just give yourself time and the proper tools to handle this disorder, and soon you will be taking charge of your life.

Anxiety doesn’t have to win. You may be down, but you certainly don’t have to be out. Your home may seem like a haven, but there’s a beautiful and exciting world out there just waiting for you to explore, but first, you must learn to control your anxiety.

10 Reasons for Couples to Renew Their Vows (And Love)

July 16, 2021 by Kristen Butler

There’s nothing more sacred than taking the wedding vows with the one you love. Making the trip down the aisle is a time to celebrate finding the one person who completes you.

Yet, every year, many people decide to renew their vows and make the declaration of love all over again.

Marriage isn’t easy. You must weather many storms as a couple, and there are times that throwing in the towel seems like a viable option. According to a study cited by IF Studies, divorce has hit an all-time low of only 14 percent.

Have the events of the past year brought marriages closer together, or are people not getting married as much. It’s anyone’s guess these days. Millennial crowds prefer to live together before making such a lifetime commitment. Many of these individuals do not need a piece of paper to signify their devotion to one another.

Still, many folks have old-fashioned values and want the piece of paper and the ring that accompanies it. Marriage is just as much a legal union as it is a physical one. When it comes to renewing the oaths made to each other, more people favor this symbolic act.

What’s better than having one wedding is having two. Why not? If you have the person, the time, and the money, then a second wedding can be just as special as the first one.

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Ten Reasons to Renew Your Vows

Have you thought about a recommitment ceremony for you and your spouse? Did you get so caught up in the drama and planning initially that you want a chance to do it right? Here are ten common reasons why people want to take that famous trip down the aisle for the second time, and they may be compelling enough to convince you to do the same.

1. A Reaffirmation of Love

The best reason to have a renewal ceremony is to reaffirm your love. Some people do this once a year and others at least once during their union. It’s just taking time out from your busy life to tell the one you love that you choose them, today, tomorrow, and forever.

2. To Start Over Fresh

Since marriage can be so hard, there are many times that you need to refresh things. Maybe there was infidelity, health battles, or troubles of another kind. Once you’ve been through some severe storms, it’s often nice to reaffirm the commitment you made to one another.

Some say that it might be a last-ditch effort to save things, but it can be a fresh start and an effort to put the past behind you.

3. To Change Vows and Promises To Each Other

Perhaps, you let the minister speak the oaths over the two of you, and you didn’t get a say. It wasn’t popular that people wrote their vows until the past decade. Maybe you want a chance to renew the promises to one another with words that you want to say and not scripted content.

It’s okay to use hindsight from many years together to write oaths for the rest of your journey. Things certainly change as time and ages roll, and it’s okay to reaffirm your love and dedication to this person who is your other half.

4. Celebrating an Anniversary

One of the more popular reasons why people want a renewal ceremony is to celebrate an anniversary. It’s commonly seen at monumental occasions like 25- or 50-year intervals. If you make it to 25 years, then you’ve done something significant in this lifetime.

Imagine spending 25 birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries with one person by your side. It’s certainly a cause for celebration. The best thing about making such a step forward is that you’re telling this person that even after all these years, they’re still the one for you.

Another benefit is that the entire family, many of whom wouldn’t have been born yet, can be there to help you celebrate.

5. To Make the Union Feel Special Again

After being together for a while, it’s not uncommon for things to become dull or stale. How many times have you felt that your love or union isn’t special anymore? As much as you grow together, you can also grow apart.

A renewal ceremony can put some spark back into a marriage where you exist together. It’s exciting to plan a wedding at any age and pick items you want for the wedding registry together, and it’s even more exciting when you know that the person standing beside you is in it for the long haul.

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6. They Didn’t Have the Wedding of Their Dreams

Some folks want a redo on their first nuptials. This type of renewal ceremony is often observed when people eloped with a courthouse wedding, or there weren’t the funds to have the wedding of their dreams. Perhaps, there are no pictures of the bride in a dress because there was no dress.

For these couples, a vow renewal ceremony presents the perfect opportunity to celebrate their love with the splendor and elegance they might have missed the first time around. Imagine the joy of finally walking down the aisle in a breathtaking bridal gown, surrounded by family and friends who can now share in the joy of this special moment. To make this dream even more accessible, you can rent a dress in Brisbane from Destiny Chic to ensure you look stunning without the high cost of purchasing a new gown.

Choosing an exquisite bridal dress in Orem for this significant event can make the occasion even more memorable. With a variety of designs that range from timeless classics to modern chic, finding the perfect gown that reflects your personal style and story is paramount. If you’re searching for a wedding dress melbourne, you’ll discover an array of stunning options that can truly capture your vision. The right dress not only enhances the beauty of the bride but also adds a touch of magic to the ceremony, ensuring that this celebration of love is as enchanting and unforgettable as the journey that brought the couple to this point.

Whatever the reasoning behind this action, it’s remarkable to have a ceremony where a couple can redo things they’ve regretted during their union. I found this list of 30 Best Maine wedding venues. It’s not uncommon to see these ceremonies sooner rather than later, especially among the younger brides who want the fanfare.

7. Sharing the Event with Children

Though it was briefly mentioned before, another reason to renew your oaths to one another is to have your children with you. In most cases, there are no children before the marriage began, so this will allow you to celebrate your love and commitment to one another with your precious kids by your side.

If the time has allowed grandchildren, then it can be an even more glorious occasion. Family is everything and having all these precious people by your side is even more an event to celebrate. It’s always amazing to see what true love and dedication to one another can produce.

8. Inclusion of Absent Parties

It’s not always possible for all the people you love to come to a wedding. There are always considerations like jobs, finances, and distance that make getting to such an event challenging. Thankfully, having a renewal service allows you more time to plan to include those people.

This type of service is often seen in instances where people marry someone from another country. They may have a ceremony in the United States and then travel to the other nation to have a service to include the family there. Couples seeking a unique celebration might also explore Paradise Valley wedding venue choices for stunning and memorable ceremonies.

9. A Formal Ceremony

Formal ceremonies are essential to some people. Maybe you got married at the courthouse, and now you want a church wedding. Perhaps you weren’t spiritual when you first got married, but you have since become strong in your faith. Having a formal ceremony based on your spirituality is not uncommon.

On the other hand, your first wedding might have been minimal because of funding, so this time you want to have all the glitz and glamour that a formal ceremony can bring. And we were blown away by the magical atmosphere a tipi brought to our friend’s wedding. The spacious interior and cozy fire pit made it a night to remember for everyone. For those looking to add a touch of adventure to their big day, explore the possibilities of wedding tipi hire at https://www.bareventsuk.com/wedding-tipi-hire.

10. To Fix a False Start

Many marriages have false starts. It simply means that you got married for all the wrong reasons. Countless couples walked down the aisle because the woman was pregnant, or they felt that they had no choice. Some people got married for a joke or because they didn’t have anything better to do.

There are 101 reasons why people make this commitment to each other, even those that want a “business relationship.” However, after spending a lot of time together, you realize that you love the person for all the right reasons. In these instances, renewing your vows is a perfect opportunity to set the record straight.

Though things didn’t start like the fairy tale that most people envision, it certainly became everything you could have ever hoped for and more. So, why not take the time to renew your commitment and do it for the right reasons?

Final Thoughts on Renewing Your Vows

Is there anything more amazing than the love between two people? Statista states that there are currently more than 62 million married couples in this country alone. When you’ve found the one who is your other half, then it’s a commonplace to make a trip down the aisle to solidify that bond.

However, many people believe that at some point in the union that they should renew their vows. Whether you want your kids to be a part of this ceremony, you had a false start, you didn’t get the wedding of your dreams, or you want to recommit to one another, having a renewal service is a wise investment.

Maybe you didn’t get the pictures you wanted because there wasn’t money for a dress or a tuxedo. Having a renewal will allow you to take the images you want. The beautiful thing about renewing your vows is that you can make it as elaborate or as simple as you want.

You can choose to do it barefoot next to the ocean or in a ballroom with fancy attire. The choices are endless. Some people love reaffirming the commitment to one another so much they do it every year.

Whatever your reasoning, there’s never a wrong rationale to make a declaration of love to someone who means the world to you.

Ten Things You Can Learn From a Child’s Disruptive Behavior

July 16, 2021 by Chris Butler

You’ve probably seen and laughed at movies like Dennis the Menace or Problem Child. Everyone knows about the disruptive kid who seems to march to the beat of their own drum, but it’s not funny when you deal with these disruptive behavior issues every day.

When a child is hard to handle and makes your life miserable, there’s a lot more than what meets the eye.

While there could be an underlying medical condition, there can also be some sort of hurt buried deep that they don’t know how to process. Now, you must separate the occasional temper tantrum and outburst from what is a real behavioral issue. According to the Child Mind Institute, emotional dysregulation goes beyond the occasional explosion.

The child who suffers from angry, defiant, or hostile behaviors has something going on that requires your help. You can punish this child and even use creative methods of discipline, but until you know what’s going on, there’s no way to treat it effectively.

Ten Things to Learn from Disruptive Behavior in a Child

Every parent wants the child that does exactly what they’re told without any backtalk. However, those kids are few and far between. If you’ve raised a child from birth to adulthood, you know that they all have issues. However, some issues are worse than others.

The key is to find out what you can learn from these behaviors. While you may want to run away and never look back, your child cries out for help and needs you. They’re trying to tell you something the best way they know-how. So here are some things to learn from your child’s behavior.

1. They’re Scared

When a child suffers from an anxiety disorder, they don’t know how to tell you they’re scared inside. You know how anxiety feels as it’s a natural part of life. However, it’s also a disorder when your body cannot control or regulate these feelings of impending doom.

The symptoms of anxiety are vastly different in children than in adults, though the feelings are the same. They may present with headaches, stomach aches, or use sickness as an excuse to keep from going to school or other activities. Social anxiety is a big issue in today’s world, and your child might need help and effective coping skills.

2. They’re Angry

Oppositional defiant disorder is one of the most troubling childhood conditions to handle. These children are belligerent, mean, resist authority, and can be impossible to manage. However, these hostile and negative behaviors have more to do with the mind.

Your child could be trying to tell you that they have neurological issues that are affecting their ability to calm down. According to The Mayo Clinic, it takes an entire team of doctors and psychologists to manage this condition, so these behaviors are a sign you and your child need to get help.

3. They Feel So Much Energy They Could Explode

The ADHD child is known for their disruptive behaviors. If you have a kid with this diagnosis, then you’ve probably had plenty of things broken around your home, as well as many trips to the emergency room. Dr. Amy Roy of Fordham University has studied this mental health issue for decades.

She’s discovered that more than 75 percent of children who display hyperactivity, the inability to focus, and impulse control issues meet the diagnosis criteria for ADHD. So, while your child bouncing off the walls and making poor choices can drive you mad, it’s what’s going on inside their little minds that’s the real trouble.

4. They’re Frustrated

Is homework time a battleground at your house? If your child’s temper tantrums almost always happen around schoolwork, then it’s a sign of something much more significant. Learning disabilities are hard to identify in some kids.

How do some children go through school without the ability to read? They become professionals at camouflaging their issues. There could be a problem like dyslexia, a low IQ, or cognitive delays. While you see them become very frustrated and irritable, the crux of the matter is much more profound.

Most parents think they can punish them. However, yelling at your child and demanding them to sit still and do their work isn’t going to resolve the problem. Instead, it would help if you looked at the big picture.

5. They’re Trying to Escape

Sensory processing disorder is very misunderstood. Have you ever had a sunburn that hurt to touch? Having such a disorder is like someone scratching your sunburn. The level of pain you feel is intense, but those around you have no idea the agony.

When you have a processing disorder, you see and perceive things differently. For example, going to the grocery store for this child may be impossible. The bright lights, sounds of the cartwheels twirling about, distant chatter, and the ding of the registers make them feel impending doom. Their fight or flight mode kicks into high gear, and they act out.

Your three-year-old doesn’t know how to tell you that they’re having processing issues, so they have violent temper tantrums and will even scream until they drip with sweat. You’ve seen the mom in the store trying to calm her child that won’t quit crying, and now you know that it may be more than just a discipline issue.

6. They Need Love

A child that needs love can often use disruptive behaviors to get your attention. Think of them as the two-year-old in a playpen that’s screaming their head off, wanting you to pick them up. Whether they’re two or 16 doesn’t matter, they will use their behaviors to get your attention.

Parenting is hard on a good day, but when your child is hurting, they may need to feel your arms around them. A 16-year-old can act out just as much as a toddler, though their temper tantrums are a bit more subdued. People think that 18 is a magic number in raising kids, and they believe that their life will be much easier with them out of the home.

However, you will soon discover that the older the child, the more significant the problems. Parenting is a job that’s for life, and not just until they become a legal adult.

7. They Need Alone Time

Why is time out so adequate for some children? Well, parents often put unrealistic expectations on the child. How many times have you grumbled at them for having a bad attitude, but you have the same grumpy nature too?

Parents need to realize that sometimes children need to be alone to recharge their batteries. The classic introverted child needs that time of solitude so they can calm down. Time out or sending them to their room allows them to take a few minutes, purge the bad from their brains, and start again.

8. They Have Executive Functioning Problems

Does your child go through spells where they’re loud, obnoxious, or have over-the-top silliness? While it’s annoying to you, what they’re trying to tell you is vital. These disruptive behaviors are often indicative of sensory processing and behavioral disorders.

There could also be language or memory issues as well as visual-spatial problems that need to be addressed.

9. They Engage in Disruptive Behavior When Sad Inside

Has your child become extra weepy these days? Do they cry a lot for the smallest of reasons? Those tears can indicate a difficulty like childhood depression. While it seems like an adult problem, the CDC states that 1.9 million children from ages 3-17 suffer from depression.

The symptoms of adult and childhood hopelessness are not always the same. When your child is sad, it can be depression, but it can also stem from not getting enough sleep, being hungry, feeling ill, or anxious.

10. They Can’t Handle Strong Emotions

When your child hits, punches, bites, or smacks another child; they get punished. While disruptive behaviors like this cannot be tolerated, there may be more to the story. Everyone needs coping skills to get through life.

For example, could you imagine what would happen if you hit your boss when he gave you too much work? As you reach adulthood, you develop skills that help you control those feelings. However, your child may be having issues with their anger and keeping it in check.

When you see violent tendencies like these, then it’s time to get them into counseling. While you can expect to see behaviors like these out of a 2–3-year-old child, a teen still doing such things is a cause for alarm.

Final Thoughts on Disruptive Behavior in Your Child

Wouldn’t it be great if children came with a manual where they could look up the issue and instantly find the diagnosis? Sadly, life doesn’t work that way. Instead, parents must become detectives to piece together the clues and determine what’s really going on with their child.

Additionally, part of solving the mystery often means getting their pediatrician and a psychologist involved. When you see your child acting in a manner that is not like their usual self, or their disruptive behaviors have become worse, it’s time to get to the bottom of things.

If you’re unhappy dealing with these behaviors, imagine how miserable your child feels on the inside. Unfortunately, the outward appearance is always a direct reflection of what’s going on inside. Thankfully, there is help available for all these and many other issues that happen to kids.

20 Habits to Alleviate Stress Before It Starts

July 16, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

How many times in a day do you feel stressed out? It’s a common problem with no end in sight, but there are ways to alleviate stress and stop these overwhelming sensations before they start.

This problem is prevalent in our society. Indeed, the American Institute of Stress found that 83 percent of workers in this country suffer from daily stress, and nearly eight percent feel that their stress levels are paralyzing.

20 Ways to Alleviate Stress Before It Becomes an Issue

Not all stress is bad. It’s part of your body’s natural defense system to keep you on your toes. However, when this system kicks into overdrive, it can cause some real issues. By using a few habits and modifying your behavior a bit, you can learn to control these feelings of angst before they even start.

1. Get Sufficient Rest

Nothing good happens when you’re running on empty. If you don’t get sufficient rest, then you’re going to feel horrible the next day. Thankfully, you can spare yourself the pain by simply making sure you get enough rest at night.

2. Meditate

Meditation is one of your best defenses against stress. When you feel your nerves start to get twisted, you need to go to your happy place using this ancient art. You can use guided methods or do it yourself.

3. Listen to Music

Have you ever heard the saying that music calms the savage beast? Well, turning on some good tunes while you work can be beneficial, especially if you want to alleviate stress. According to the National Institute of Health, music is such a powerful motivator that it’s been used to help Alzheimer’s patients.

4. Chew Gum

Chewing gum while you work may be another way to keep your stress levels down. Studies reported by the National Institute of Health show that this common activity lowers cortisol levels inside your body. Just make sure it’s sugar-free, so you don’t have premature tooth decay from all the sugar.

5. Do Yoga

Yoga teaches you to breathe and relax muscle groups within the body. It’s an excellent way to get rid of stress and to keep your stress hormones in check. There are many variations, so you can use a modified version that’s best for you.

6. Get Organized

Believe it or not, you could be causing your angst and tension by not having a tidy space. You get more done and feel better when you’re organized, so taking time to make sure everything has a place and everything is in its place can help.

7. Create a Zen Space

Is there something tranquil about painting the walls blue and burning candles in the background? Yes, by incorporating elements of nature, such as earth, wind, fire, and water, your workspace can set the mood for productivity and calm. If you feel stressed, then try burning some candles or using some lavender essential oils in your space.

8. Take a Spoonful of Honey

Did you know that honey can fight depression and anxiety? While you probably know that it’s excellent as a natural antibiotic, it’s also quite powerful at reducing inflammation in the brain, which helps your overall mental well-being. According to the National Institute of Health, Tualang honey is the best variety for this use.

9. Squeeze a Stress Ball

If you feel frazzled, as if your nerves are about to explode, then try using a stress ball. These are small enough to carry with you in the courtroom or the board room. Whenever you start to feel anxiety rearing its ugly head, give the ball a firm squeeze.

10. Indulge in Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate has long been touted as being good for you due to the antioxidants it contains. However, have you ever considered that it might be good to alleviate stress too? Eating about two ounces of this sweet treat can help regulate the stress hormones known as cortisol, making you feel angst.

Read how chocolate and coffee might increase cognition.

11. Exercise

There is no better way to get your stress under control than to exercise. You don’t need to break a sweat and work for hours to get beneficial results either. If you’re at the office and feel your stress levels increase, then take a walk around the building. Just get your heart pumping to increase those feel-good hormones in the brain.

12. Engage in Progressive Relaxation

Progressive relaxation is a rhythmic activity that teaches you to focus on specific muscle groups. For instance, if you get neck problems when your stress levels are high, then you can work on this area. You start by squeezing the neck muscles as tight as you can and holding them for a few seconds.

The key is to squeeze the muscles tight and release them, then repeat until you feel relief. Did you know this is also an excellent way to help you calm down enough to fall asleep? The next time insomnia is an issue, try this method to see if it helps.

13. Get Outside in The Sunshine

Perhaps one of the most incredible remedies for what ails you is being outside in the sunshine. How can anyone be in a bad mood or feel stressed out when the golden rays penetrate your body? Sit outside for about 20 minutes and bask in the greatness of Mother Nature.

If you need to feel grounded and reconnect with the Universe, you should take off your shoes and feel the earth between your toes. Do you have a lake, stream, or pond near you? Water is also known as very calming, and you can find that sitting beside moving water can help relax your body and mind.

14. Try Pranayama Breathing

It might sound very New Age, but the medical community studied this breathing practice. They approve!

If you’ve always wanted to try acupuncture but are too scared of the needles, then you might find you like pranayama breathing better. Rather than using both nostrils, you only use one to inhale deep breaths and exhale through the mouth. This technique is often used during yoga to help find your center and be grounded. It’s also very beneficial at helping you to alleviate stress.

15. Drip Cold Water on Your Wrists

You already know that water is a significant earth element that is known to help calm you. However, did you know that splashing some cool water on your wrists and behind your neck can help to alleviate stress? The key is to hit these two areas because there are arteries located here.

When you put cool water in this location, it helps to bring a full-body calm to you. If you’re brave enough, you could try ice too. You’ll see, many people do this when they’ve been working outside and are overheated.

16. Turn Off the Electronics

You need electronics for work, but you don’t need them every minute of the day. Designate specific times to check your email, voicemail, and text messages. Think of all the time you’re wasting when you’re constantly checking your phone or inbox?

When you seem like you don’t have enough hours in the day, it can cause stress. You can gain more time if you stop wasting it on social media and other frivolous online activities.

17. Close Your Eyes

There will be times when your stress is rising, and there’s nothing you can do as you’re trapped. Perhaps you’re in a big meeting, and you can’t leave. The next best thing is to close your eyes and make the world go away.

While you’ve got your eyes closed, transport yourself to another time or place where you can find happiness. Just don’t get too comfortable and fall asleep.

18. Get Up and Stretch

Part of the reason why you may feel strain and tension is that you’ve sat in a chair too long. Don’t sit for more than an hour without getting up and stretching. It would help if you took a break every so often, but rolling your head all around and stretching can help to rejuvenate you.

19. Rub Eucalyptus on Your Neck

Essential oils have long been used to help alleviate stress and make you feel calmer. Rubbing these on troubled spots, like the neck muscles, can help make the entire body feel better. Some of the most used ones are peppermint, eucalyptus, lavender, and chamomile.

20. Try Counting

Sometimes life gets to be too much, and you need to stop and slow down. Do you remember the old campaigns about the discipline that told you to count to ten before talking to your child? It would help if you had time to calm yourself and get rid of stress before tackling a big project, so counting is a great way to accomplish this task.

Final Thoughts on Adopting New Habits to Alleviate Stress

Stress is inevitable, and there’s no way to avoid it. The best thing to do is learn how to manage it effectively. When those hormones in your body start to rise and bring along muscle pangs and headaches, then you can employ some of these relaxation techniques to bring your body back to a more relaxed state. The key is to alleviate stress before it begins by keeping things in check.

3 Subtle Signs Of Self-Deception (And How To Stop It)

July 16, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Self-deception is a simple enough concept. It means lying to yourself. It’s easy to get mixed up, though, as you may think it means intentional deception acts such as exaggeration, generic lying, and faking emotions. But self-deception directly implies that you are unaware that you are telling a lie at all!

It’s a bit of an odd phenomenon, but it’s a surprisingly common one. And, of course, it seems paradoxical. How can you determine if you’re lying to yourself if you can’t even trust yourself? Well, here are three stubble signs of self-deception and how to stop it.

Three Subtle Signs Of Self-Deception

Do any of these red flags sound familiar to you?

1. Things Aren’t Matching Up

Noticing that things aren’t quite matching up is one of the first signs that self-deception is at play, just as contradictions would serve as clues that someone else is lying. Put on your positive thinking and keep an eye out for simple hints that things aren’t adding up. Here are some to be aware of:

· Words and Actions Clashing

You make optimistic proclamations, set goals with confidence, and make promises to yourself. But then your actions don’t seem to follow through on those ideas. Your goals go unchased, you never act on your proclamations, you allow hope to die, and you break your promises. That’s pretty clear evidence of self-deception!

· Words and Emotions Clashing

You say you’re okay, but you feel rage bubbling inside you, or tears are prickling at your eyes. You believe everything is okay. But you think you weren’t even aware of spillover without your control. The contradiction between how you think and your claim that you feel is a significant and common sign of self-deception.

· Heart and Mind Clashing

It’s a bit cliche, but sometimes your heart and brain want different things. You may “know” what the right thing is, but your heart vehemently opposes it. When you experience this kind of clash, you’re not only deceiving yourself, but you’re also in need of a good heart-to-heart talk and re-examination of your beliefs.

· You’re Often In Over Your Head

You’re confident that you can handle something only to get knocked squarely down when you try. You think your skill level is high but end up making a bit of a fool of yourself when it comes to putting it to the test. You keep needing to eat humble pie, and people may have even told you you’re arrogant. This is a sign that you’re deceiving yourself about your abilities!

2. There Are Too Many Absolutes

The human experience does not include many absolutes. All sorts of things can happen, and the chance of something being constant is almost nonexistent. Life is full of change. And on top of that, few things are ever 0 or 100 or cut and dried. Everything happens in balance.

Basically, absolutes don’t typically occur outside of pre-established facts. If you notice that you keep thinking in absolutes and genuinely believe in those absolutes, it’s a sign that something is off about your perception of your experience. Here are some signs of self-deception in absolutes:

· Your Statements Are Extreme

There’s little to no balance with you. You’re either the world’s best person or the absolute worst. You’re either the hottest person to walk the planet or completely hideous. All people are either completely untrustworthy or utterly kind. If the way you look at the world is full of these irrational extremes, then you’re lying to yourself about them because that’s not possible.

· You’re Never Wrong

If you’re wise and are in a position of experience, you may indeed be right most of the time. But everyone makes mistakes, and people can’t be right all the time, no matter how positive you are about your correctness. You’re going to have moments where you’ve done something negative or have been entirely incorrect. If you notice that you’re never in the wrong, you keep thinking it’s never your fault, and you wind up in the same problems without ever taking responsibility, you’re lying to yourself somewhere.

· You’re By-The-Book Only

You’re strict and rigid, and you pride yourself on following the rules. You consider yourself someone who has never strayed from the path, and you think that this is the world’s best way to keep a moral code. But that’s not true, no matter how you look at things! Being by-the-books in any way doesn’t always guarantee the correct answers, and if you think that being that strict to the point of near obsession is benefiting you, you may want to look again.

· You Think Everything’s Great All The Time

Do you think that everything is perfect constantly? Do you project your fantasies onto partners, your career, and the world around you? There’s nothing wrong with positive thinking, but wearing rose-colored glasses is just another way that you may be deceiving yourself. The world’s not always sunshine and rainbows, and it can be hard to come to terms with that, but refusing that truth is simply lying to yourself.

3. You Don’t Know Yourself

Lying to yourself all the time means you have to stay disconnected from the truth of yourself and the world around you. This can cause you to feel confused and conflicted about yourself, so this may be a sign of self-deception if that’s been a concern for you. Here are some more specific signs of this:

· You Feel Like You’re Inauthentic

Your instincts can tell when something is off between the things you tell yourself and reality. Often, your gut will seem to alert you that something is amiss. As simple as it sounds, this is one of the most apparent signs of self-deception. If you feel like you’re inauthentic, it’s time to examine yourself.

· You Justify Yourself And Your Behavior

Every time you do something questionable, you keep working overtime to come up with justifications – even if your actions aren’t really justifiable and even if they’re inconsequential anyway. You trick yourself into believing that you had a good reason for even the most mundane or most harmful things. So genuinely you think those things you tell yourself about who you are.

· You Feel Like You’re Running

There’s a feeling that something is after you – whether that is a complicated truth or your realization of reality. You don’t know precisely what is trying to catch you, but you feel like you’re always running from it. This is a gut instinct that is telling you you’re lying to yourself.

· You Have Imposter Syndrome

This is the direct opposite to being in over your head. Instead of overestimating yourself, you feel as if you’re never good enough for anything. You understate your skills and get overlooked, only to surprise everyone and yourself at your actual skill level. Studies say that imposter syndrome is a common sign of self-deception.

Three Ways To Stop Self-Deception

Now that you identified your tendency, here are three ways to break the cycle.

1. Take Responsibility

Self-deception is often the result of a strong desire not to be held responsible for situations in your life, especially those that may reflect very poorly on you. You can stop self-deception by learning to step up to the plate and hold yourself accountable in the right ways. Some tips include:

Use positive thinking to refer to your behavior so that taking responsibility for it seems less daunting; reframe your issues into ones that involve taking ownership so you can learn and grow.
Don’t shift blame, deflect, or justify when someone tries to hold you accountable; don’t blame the people around you for the way you react to things, and don’t shift responsibility onto people when you’ve played a role in a situation.
When criticizing yourself, stick to the facts and be kind. Your aim should be to blame yourself in a way that is constructive and can genuinely help you.

2. Develop Awareness

Awareness is the key to stopping any unwanted behavior. The problem with self-deception is that it involves a lack of that awareness. Training and honing your ability to be more aware of yourself is the enemy of any self-deception. You’ll be able to spot and stop your lies quickly. Here are some things you should be aware of to stop self-deception:

· Thoughts

Thoughts can be inaccurate and lend themselves to self-deception, which is why you need to pay attention to them. Learn to get good at fact-checking yourself, questioning your thoughts, and never assuming that your thoughts are entirely correct. If your thoughts are incorrect, they could be deceiving you, so awareness of the truth is necessary.

· Emotions

Your feelings are often the leading cause for the subconscious decision to lie to yourself. When emotions are too painful or complicated, self-deception may activate as a defensive mechanism. Being aware of your feelings by asking yourself what you feel, what purpose they serve, and if those feelings are rational can help counteract self-deception.

· Behavior

The way you behave is the clearest sign of self-deception because if it’s contrary to what you think or say, you know something’s not adding up. Please pay attention to how you act and then trace that behavior backward to find its roots!

3. Keep An Eye Out For Defense Mechanisms

Psychological defense mechanisms are often performed automatically as a means of self-protection. They’re also a common precursor to self-deception. Learning to be prepared for these mechanisms to recognize when you’re performing them can help you stop self-deception before you fall into your lies.

· Displacement

Displacement means the act of shifting blame and responsibility onto other people for things that someone else did. For example, if your boss yelled at you at work, you may displace your emotions by lashing out at your friends, even though they did nothing wrong.

· Avoidance

As its name suggests, avoidance means avoiding the concept of confronting difficult or uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and situations. For example, you may avoid thinking about something painful that happened or ignore texts from a family member if you know they’re angry at you.

· Projection

Projection refers to the act of seeing your unwanted personal qualities in other people. For example, you may accuse someone of not trusting you if you tend to be distrustful of others because you’re subconsciously hyper-alert to your flaws and see them where they aren’t

· Denial

Once again, this name speaks for itself. Denial means refusing to admit the existence of a problem, so you don’t have to address it. It’s common, for example, in addicts who deny that they have an addiction.

Final Thoughts On Some Subtle Signs Of Self-Deception And How To Stop It

Self-deception is a harmful trait, but it’s a defensive one, and that’s important to understand as you unpack the lies you tell yourself. You deceive yourself to keep yourself safe, so addressing the roots of your lies and being aware of them and their triggers is most helpful in positively overcoming self-deception.

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