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15 Ways Judging Other People Harms Your Own Mental Health

May 6, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you tend to judge other people by their character and actions? While it’s human nature, when you’re overly critical of others, it can backfire on you. Remember that whenever you point the finger at someone, there is always three more pointing right back at you.

You’re bringing a great deal of negativity into your life when you take on the role of a judge. Additionally, karma will ensure that the same judgment you meter out to others has a way of coming back on you. So, be careful of the words that come out of your mouth and the pessimistic thoughts in your mind, as they can be pretty damaging.

Fifteen Ways Judging Other People Can Affect Your Mental Health

If you tend to find fault with anything and everyone around you, you should know that it can mentally affect you. Living in such a negative state is not good for you, and it can make others want to steer clear of your presence. Here are 15 ways that fault-finding and a judgmental attitude can affect your mental health.

1. You Can Become Cynical About Others

When you’re constantly judging other people, you classify them as “good” or “bad.” It becomes difficult for you to realize that sometimes good people do bad things. You stop looking for the good in everyone and assume they are going to fail in your eyes.

Judging other people harshly keeps you from establishing or maintaining healthy friendships. Such an attitude may develop into paranoia, and you’ll think everyone is out to get you. When you can only see others with an unjust and cynical eye, you become blind to the beauty of human compassion.

2. Judging Others Can Rob You of Joy

The next time you are overly critical of another person, notice how you feel. Even if the criticism is justified, a judgmental attitude doesn’t make you feel good about the world or yourself. The negativity often drains you, and you feel smug, angry, and gloomy.

An article published by the University of Minnesota warns that not only can this negativity affect you mentally, but it may lead to physical conditions. It can even deplete the chemicals in your brain that are responsible for happiness and well-being.

3. It Inhibits Your Spiritual Growth

If you’re striving to become more spiritual, being judgmental of others isn’t helpful. When you criticize and say unkind things about other people, it makes you smaller and diminishes your spiritual growth. As you realize your shortcomings, you will learn to be more compassionate, patient, forgiving, and accepting.

4. It’s Often a Reflection of Your Self-Judgment

You’ve probably heard and quoted from sacred texts to “judge not, because you’ll be judged.” People often judge others harshly because they secretly despise the same faults in themselves. Everybody has a narrator in their brain that’s perpetually reviewing the history and casting judgment.

If you are judging yourself unfairly, your self-talk may be harmful and cause you to feel less positive about yourself. In defense, you focus on other people’s faults to deflect your feelings of inadequacy or guilt.

5. Judging Others Can Isolate You

What qualities do you find attractive in a friend? Most people enjoy others who are genuine, honest, positive, and have a good sense of humor. If you are too busy judging other people by your impossible standards, you will soon lose those qualities that make people attracted to you.

Perhaps nothing can dampen the happy vibes in a room more than a grumpy party pooper. Have you gradually earned that moniker? Instead of chatting, laughing, and having fun with the gang, you’re too bothered with finding fault with everything and everybody around you.

Who would want to hang out with a grumpy old Grinch? Don’t be surprised if party invitations start to dwindle with an attitude like this.

6. You Can Lose Abundance in Life

If you plant marigold seeds in your garden, you expect marigolds to bloom, not daisies. According to the law of attraction, you attract whatever you send out into the Universe. You’ll get judgment and negativity in return when you send negative statements.

Do you have abundance in your life? It goes beyond having material things. When you want to be wealthy in things money can’t buy, you may begin by examining your attitude.

7. You Can Become a Bad Example to Your Children

As a parent, you’ve probably taught your children to treat others the same way they would like to be treated. Have you discussed the evils of prejudice and how destructive such attitudes are? It may be difficult for your children to follow your advice if you aren’t practicing what you preach.

According to an article published by the University of Pennsylvania, negative behaviors like prejudice and discrimination are learned. You may declare that you aren’t prejudiced, but that word extends beyond race and culture. When you make blanket judgments without knowing people or their character, it is pre-judging or prejudice.

If you don’t want your kids to hate people who are different, then be a good example. The next time you are tempted to start judging other people, remember that little ears are listening.

8. It May Raise Your Stress Levels

It’s impossible to have a stress-free life. You need some stress to learn, grow, and survive. However, too much pressure can put your survival mode into overdrive which can affect your overall health.

Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol are there to boost your strength in case of a life-threatening issue. An article published by the National Institute of Mental Health states that chronic stress can lead to mental illness and other severe health conditions.

Judging other people drains you of energy and can make you stressed. Since you may feel like you hold a higher standard than most, you exhaust yourself to prove others as inferior. Your unfair judgment may eventually cost your health and mental well-being.

9. Judging Others May Hinder Achieving Your Goals

No doubt, you have goals for how you want your future to be. You’ve worked hard, received your education, and honed skills in your field. Perhaps you envision a leisurely retirement that includes travel and other exciting dreams.

Did you know that a chronic critical attitude can stand in the way of achieving your goals? Being optimistic and attracting good things is almost impossible if you are always down on everyone. Whether you realize it or not, you need other people in your life, and you will drive them away by being judgmental.

10. It Limits Your View of the World

You needn’t maintain a Pollyanna view of the world to be a positive person. If you are a realist, you understand that there’s good and evil in everything and everyone. The difference between optimists and pessimists is which side of the spectrum they favor.

There’s nothing positive about a judgmental attitude, and it can extend to your whole worldview. When you are constantly finding fault with others and picking them to pieces, you may start to assume that life is a big disappointment. You have your head so deep in the mud that you can’t see the sun’s glorious rays.

11. It Can Create More Bad Habits

Have you ever tried to eat just one potato chip and then close the bag? Only an extremely disciplined person could do that. Usually, having one chip leads to another, and soon the whole bag has disappeared.

If chronic fault-finding is one of your bad habits, it can easily lead to others’ unsavory tendencies. Judging other people can string along with negativity, backbiting, and holding grudges. These changes in your attitude can be so gradual that you may not realize them.

12. Judging Can Inhibit Empathy for Others

There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy. When you express sympathy for someone, you can feel sorry for their situation and then go about your business. However, empathy goes deeper, and you “feel” for the hurting person. You put yourself in their shoes and validate their emotions and feelings.

How can you be empathetic when you are constantly judging other people? Instead of identifying with their feelings, you judge them and make them feel worse. When you start to lose your ability to empathize, you lose touch with others and yourself.

13. It May Cause Depression and Anxiety

Chronic judgment may represent your dissatisfaction with your life and everyone around you. When people and events don’t measure up to your impossible standards, the negative attitudes may lead to depression and anxiety.

When you are experiencing anxious moments and bouts of depression, it’s easy to blame it on others. However, this turns into a vicious cycle that only creates harsher criticisms. One way to emerge from this whirlpool of misery is to learn to accept others as they are.

14. You Become Less Flexible

Trees can naturally bend with the wind, so they aren’t broken and destroyed. Likewise, your well-being depends on how flexible you are with change. A judgmental attitude refuses to compromise and will be rigidly stubborn when confronted with anything different.

If this is your attitude, you will gradually “snap” because your criticism won’t allow you to be flexible. You may get into a rut, and the boredom can cause you to feel hopeless and defeated. A person who can be flexible and accepting of others and changing situations will be stronger in the long run.

15. Others Start to Judge You

Remember the second part of the warning about not judging others? If you continue to judge, then you will reap the judgments of others. People will soon tire of your fault-finding and will label you as hard-hearted and unfavorable. You’ll be judged by the same harsh standards you demand of others.

Final Thought on Why You Should Stop Judging Other People

Do you want to revive the joy in your life and have a more positive outlook? Maybe it’s time to put down the gavel and start to accept others as they are. When you are empathetic and show mercy to those around you, it will return to you.

15 Surprisingly Healthy Benefits of Fidelity in a Relationship

May 6, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Infidelity has, unfortunately, become common in relationships, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Instead, you can experience fidelity in your relationship and have a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Research identifies infidelity as a cause of significant relationship issues, stress, and messy situations. On the other hand, Fidelity offers many benefits to you personally and to your relationship.

Knowing the benefits of fidelity in a relationship can help you resist temptation. Once you see all the good from having a trustworthy and faithful relationship, you won’t want anything else.

Fifteen Mental Health Benefits of Fidelity in a Relationship

It turns out that staying faithful to your partner provides emotional and mental stability.

1. You Will Experience Security, a Deep Connection, and a Sense of Partnership

Security, connection, and partnership are essential in a healthy romantic relationship. All three of these things require commitment and loyalty from both partners.

When both people feel like the relationship is only between them, it gives a sense of partnership. It shows that you are in it together; no matter what happens, you will support one another.

Experiencing security in your relationship means that both partners will feel comfortable being away from one another. There will be no second-guessing the other’s intentions, and you can live free of the constant worry.

When you’re loyal, you can also form a stronger emotional connection with your partner. You will both be more comfortable with one another, and there is strength in that feeling.

2. You Will Feel More Confident and Prouder of Yourself

Fidelity in a relationship fosters positive character traits, including confidence and integrity. The way you live your private life is where you develop these positive qualities.

When there is infidelity, the rest of that person’s life seems to crumble, too. They lose their confidence and no longer feel proud of who they are. If you stay faithful, though, this doesn’t happen, and you can continue feeling good about yourself.

Plus, you don’t want to be the reason for your partner’s pain, which will drain your self-confidence. If you have family, you will feel ashamed to hurt them all and let them down.

3. There Will Be More Respect

In an honest, committed relationship, there will be more respect. This allows you to show respect to your partner in the most important way. Plus, your partner will respect you for being faithful, and others will respect you for showing your loyalty.

4. It Boosts Your Overall Well-Being

Those in a healthy relationship tend to be happier, more fulfilled, and more relaxed. Plus, people in this type of relationship typically smile more than those who experience infidelity.

5. You Will Experience True Love Fully

If you split your time and commitment between two people, you won’t experience loving someone fully. Instead of spreading yourself between two relationships, you can focus on your partner and give your all to the relationship.

Only if you commit yourself fully to one person will you experience true love. If you stay faithful, you will have the chance to experience real love with them.

6. You Can Enjoy Deeper Intimacy With Your Partner

When all of your energy and emotion are focused on your one partner, you will experience more intimacy. With all of it focused on one person, you will connect to a level that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. It boosts the quality of your connection, and your experiences will be incomparable.

7. You Won’t Deal With As Much Stress or Drama

Sneaking around with someone else behind your partner’s back is stressful. You will spend so much time trying to cover your tracks and creating lies that will work. This situation causes indescribable stress, and your well-being will suffer.

On the other hand, if you are faithful, you will have peace of mind. You won’t have to worry about your partner finding out about infidelity, and you can be honest. You won’t have excessive drama in your relationship with fidelity, either.

8. You Will Be a Good Role Model

Other people are watching you. When they see that you are faithful to your partner, it shows them that they can do the same. It will help them stay loyal and resist temptation.

9. You Will Have Trust in the Relationship

There will be trust between you when there is no infidelity in your relationship. With confidence, you will be comfortable opening up and having deep discussions. Plus, you will feel more comfortable in your relationship if you trust your partner.

Another benefit of fidelity is that you can demand the same from your partner if you are faithful. If you have been unfaithful, you can’t expect your partner to treat you differently than you treated them.

10. You Will Have More Meaningful Friendships.

You might not realize that the way you handle your relationship reflects on your friendships. Good friends won’t find it acceptable for you to be unfaithful to your partner. They will see it as disrespectful and question your loyalty to all of your relationships, including your friendship.

Instead, the people you want to be friends with are the ones that expect you to be honest and trustworthy. They will notice that you treat your partner with respect and resist temptation. This recognition will help them see that you are a positive person to have in their lives.

11. You Will Always Have Your Best Friend Around

When you are in a healthy relationship, your partner often becomes one of your best friends. If you betray them, however, you lose your relationship and your friendship as well. Staying in a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship requires loyalty.

For most people that cheat, the thrill eventually fades away. Then, they want to go back to what they once had with their partner. You can’t make things the same as they used to be if infidelity has been an issue.

Even if your partner wants to give you another chance, the damage has already happened. The relationship you once had is destroyed. You will likely never experience being in a relationship with your best friend again.

12. Karma Will Catch up With You

Depending on how you look at it, this could be beneficial or a problem for you. If you are faithful to your partner, you can find comfort knowing that your karma will be good. As long as you do what is right, you won’t have to worry about anything.

13. You Will Know You Have Good People in Your Life

When there is infidelity in your relationship, the person you are unfaithful with likely isn’t trustworthy. If they know you are in a relationship but spend this time with you anyway, they don’t have your best interests in mind. They are honoring their own selfish needs and desires instead.

While the person might make you feel good at the time, it won’t last. The other person doesn’t care about the stress or drama they are causing in your home life. Of course, this isn’t to say that you are innocent in the situation, but neither are they.

Eventually, they will do you wrong, too. If the person is willing to be part of your infidelity, they will likely do it to you. However, if you refrain from being unfaithful, you won’t have to worry about this.

On the other hand, experiencing fidelity in your relationship helps you form genuine, meaningful relationships. You can rest assured that you have good people in your life that won’t cause you stress or pain. Plus, you won’t have to worry about being the victim of infidelity if you know the people in your life are good.

14. You Will Learn About Loyalty

Everyone has heard of loyalty and generally understands it, but it goes deeper than that. You won’t truly learn about commitment until you are in a faithful relationship where you are faithful to your partner. Making your significant other the only one you are in a relationship with will allow you to value their reliability and dependability.

15. Your Home Life Will Be Better

If you have kids, you must consider them to have stable, healthy relationships. With infidelity in their parents’ relationship, kids will experience trauma and grow in a dramatic, stressful household. By avoiding unfaithfulness, you can ensure that your children aren’t exposed to that type of emotional trauma.

Plus, seeing fidelity in your relationship will help your children learn about healthy relationships. Kids learn from the actions and behaviors of their parents, so make sure to set a good example. Your kids are paying attention even when you think that they aren’t.

Final Thoughts on Surprisingly Healthy Benefits of Fidelity in a Relationship

While infidelity seems to be expected in relationships, yours doesn’t have to be that way. Even better, there are many mentally healthy benefits of fidelity. These benefits will help you grow as a person while strengthening your relationship with your partner.

Knowing the benefits can help you continue being faithful in your relationship. If you want a loving, fulfilling relationship, fidelity is required.

15 Signs Your Partner is Ready to Tie the Knot

May 6, 2022 by Chris Butler

If you’ve been in a committed relationship for any length of time, the thoughts of spending eternity together come to mind. How do you know if your partner is ready to tie the knot or wants to wait longer?

It’s always tricky to tell if someone is prepared to make such a long-term commitment, but a few clues can help you figure it out. Maybe they’ve started researching “marquee hire perth” for potential wedding venues or dropping subtle hints about their dream outdoor ceremony. These little signs might just indicate that they’re envisioning a future together as much as you are. You can call Debbie Eko Photography for a wedding photographer Richmond, renowned for their ability to capture the essence of your special day with creativity and elegance, ensuring every moment is beautifully preserved.

Fifteen Signs Your Partner Wants to Get Married

The old song says love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. If you’ve been together for a while, you may want to consider settling down. While some people want to live together and skip the legal obligations, many still like the old-fashioned wedding and the commitment to true love. For those planning their special day, wedding photographers Jacksonville can help capture every beautiful moment, ensuring your memories last a lifetime. And if you’re planning to have an elopement with your partner, then you may consider checking out this guide in eloping in oregon.

If you’re scared about telling your partner how you feel, you need to look for signs that they think differently. Here are fifteen indicators that indicate your partner is ready to tie the knot.

1. They Ask for Your Ring Size

Has your partner asked for your ring size lately? Everyone knows that a wedding ring is a vital part of the commitment to one another. Before they can purchase your ring, they need to know what size you wear.

Getting the right size ring is imperative to a lady for the engagement and is also vital for the man during the ceremony. No guy wants to bring a ring to the proposal that doesn’t even fit on their hand.

2. They Talk About Kids

Most couples who settle down want to add to their family. Asking about adding kids to your family indicates they’re considering a long-term situation. Children bind you together for life, so if they want to have kids with you, it’s safe to say they’re considering tying the knot.

3. Making Major Purchases Is Discussed

When a guy lives in a bachelor pad, he often wants to get a more traditional family dwelling before getting married. Has he asked you to consider another home or to get a mortgage together, or is she asking about a large abode so that she can put her touch on the place? A house is a big part of the marriage, as you need a stable place to live. Have honest conversations about these details.

4. They Ask You to Move In With Them

If you’re not already living together, one of the key indications that your partner is ready to tie the knot is moving in together. Most people like to try to share a space before they sign on the dotted line. Getting out of a marriage is costly, so moving in is a trial run.

5. Marriage Becomes a Hot Topic

When your partner mentions marriage more so than before, they may think about it. They may talk about some great relationships they’ve witnessed that made it a long time, or they may talk about the stuff of fairy tales. When marriage is discussed, it’s because it’s ever-present in their thoughts.

6. Everyone Around You Is Getting Married

Peer pressure can be a significant reason why some people tie the knot. They see their friends and family members happily getting married and starting a family, and they can’t help but feel those pangs of jealousy. If they seem to be bothered or interested in all the marriages around you two, then it’s a sign they’re ready. Jessica Smith Photographer is a wedding photographer Northern Virginia.

7. They Suggest Pre-Marriage Counseling

According to the Mayo Clinic, marriage counseling is an essential part of committing. It helps you to resolve any issues before you walk down the aisle. A good therapist can assist you in strengthening your bond and ensuring that you’re ready for such a promise.

8. They Use “We” Instead of “I”

Another sign that your partner is gearing up for a commitment is using the word we. Instead of referring to the home as theirs, they use plural ownership. They have already subconsciously walked down the aisle and committed; they must do the ceremony.

Watch their language and how they word things, as it significantly indicates their true feelings.

9. They Call You Wife or Husband

Some folks try to be coy about their feelings, so they might not immediately ask you. It’s a big question to ask, so they want some assurance. If they jokingly start calling you their wife or husband, it’s a sign that they’re trying to feel you out on the matter.

10. They Make Plans to Grow Old

Anyone who plans to grow old together has given the topic of marriage much thought. They see you as the person they want to spend all their days and nights with, and having the growing old conversations indicates they feel this way.

Engaging with this type of conversation will make them more apt to move toward forever. However, if you shut down such discussions, they might get cold feet.

11. They Take You to Housewares Stores

Shopping for couches, beds, rugs, and other household decorations is very personal. If your partner asks you to help them pick out such things, they value your input. Additionally, it’s a not-so-subtle way of telling you they want to build a life and a home together.

When two people tie the knot, they must bring stuff from two worlds to merge into one. It’s often better to pick out things that suit both parties and a more neutral pallet.

12. They Don’t Want You to Leave

One of the most infamous lines from the Shakespearian Play is that “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” When your partner doesn’t want to leave, it’s a sign they’re ready for something more. Going to the person you love becomes more challenging if you’re prepared for a long-term commitment.

Some couples feel it’s painful to be away from their loved ones. If you find that you can’t stay apart for long, it’s a sign that you are ready for marriage.

13. You’re Part of Their Family

Most people want their mother and father to approve of the person they love. If you’ve been to many family dinners and have become part of the family, it’s an indication that it’s time to move things forward. Becoming involved with the soon-to-be “in-laws” is a good sign that things are going right.

14. They Share Everything with You

Part of marriage involves being honest and transparent with one another. If you already know every little detail of their life, then it’s an indication that you “their person.”

The one you marry is the person to who you expose yourself to mind, body, and soul, and there’s nothing that you feel you can’t tell them. If they share their life with you, then their future is next.

15. Your Opinion Counts

If your partner is ready to commit long-term, they will value your opinions on everything. Even a job change affects you when you tie the knot, so they want to keep you in the loop. Making decisions together early on is a wise choice, and you need to ensure that you both are happy with the choices made.

Whether they’re thinking of children and houses with white picket fences, or they genuinely value your opinion, it’s a sign they’re moving towards marriage. Couples planning their future together might explore wedding venues in Arizona that capture the perfect backdrop for your big day.

Final Thoughts on Signs Your Partner Wants to Get Married

You need to consider so many things before you tie the knot. Things like outstanding debt, children from other relationships, future kids, credit scores and financial standings, religion, values, and family all come into play. When your partner considers taking a trip down the aisle towards wedded bliss, they will contemplate about all these things in their minds. Exploring various options, including Peckham wedding venues, can help ensure that every detail of your special day is perfectly planned.

When you tell someone you want to get married, you put your heart and emotions on the line. It’s not an easy stance to be so vulnerable with your feelings, but there’s no turning back once you cross that line. Marriage is a celebration of the love of two people who would do anything for each other.

While divorce statistics were once alarming, things seem to be upward. According to BreakPoint, the rate of divorces in this country is declining, which means people are more choosey about their lifelong partners. It’s wise to put a lot of thought and effort into such a decision.

Sometimes there’s no easy way to ask someone if they’re ready to tie the knot. You may need to rip the band-aid off and ask your partner how they feel. The chances are that you already know how they act and where they see your relationship in the future. Being married to the right person can make your life much greater than you ever imagined.

15 Kind Ways To Tell A Partner That Things Are Moving Too Fast

May 6, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

When you meet someone compatible with and enjoy spending time around, things might start moving too fast. This is a common problem in relationships when the romance is perfect and new. You might realize that things are getting too serious for your comfort, though.

If you don’t want to end the relationship, it can be hard to tell your partner you want to slow down. Most of the time, your partner will respect your boundaries and your belief that things are moving too fast. However, your partner might think you are breaking up with them.

Other times, your partner will decide that they aren’t okay with slowing things down. In that situation, stick to your boundaries and remember that there is someone out there that will.

15 Kind Ways To Tell A Partner That Things Are Moving Too Fast

Finding kind ways to tell your partner that things are moving too fast is essential no matter how you think it will go.

1. I like to take my time making big decisions, so I’d like our relationship to move at a slower pace.

When you use a statement like this one, you give a reason for slowing it down. The reason isn’t one that your partner can try to talk you out of, and if they do, it’s a red flag anyway.

Voicing your concerns in this way shows that it is your personal preference to take things slow. It will help your partner with not taking it personally so that you can continue the relationship.

2. I’ve been letting my work slide, so I think I need to spend more time focusing on that.

You can take this a step further by explaining that you will spend your weekdays focusing on work and that you’ll see them on the weekend. Adjust that timeframe to whatever works best, but it lets your partner know that you aren’t bailing on them. If you plan time together on the weekend, they will believe that you still want to be together.

If necessary, let them know that you are taking this step so that the relationship can work. They will be more understanding by explaining that interference with your work life can cause problems romantically.

3. I feel like we’re moving too fast, so I think I’ll take a weekend to myself and we can get together next week.

You can spend the weekend alone, with friends, or with your family. The point is to take a small break from your partner to give you both some breathing room. Spending time apart can prevent or reduce co-dependency in your relationship, which will make it healthier.

A healthy relationship requires emotional and mental space to think and process as an individual. Doing things without your partner will help you remember that it is beneficial. Encourage your partner to take time for themselves over the weekend, too.

4. We should focus on the present right now. I’m not ready to talk about the future yet.

If your partner keeps talking about the future, but you aren’t ready for that, suggest focusing on the present instead. Just be honest with them and tell your partner that you don’t want to think too far ahead. Ensure them that you enjoy the relationship and don’t want anything to change yet.

You can also tell them that you might be ready in a couple of months. Only say it if it’s true, though, because you don’t want to give false hope.

5. I enjoy spending time with you, and I’d like to continue to, but things are moving a little too fast for me.

Starting the conversation with a positive statement makes the rest easier to say and hear. If you want to stay in the relationship but slow it down, this is a kind way to tell your partner. Without reassurance, your partner might think this is your way of breaking up with them.

Even if your partner is doubtful that you want to stay together, they should respect your wishes. They should give you a chance to show that you still want to be in their life, just taking it more slowly.

6. Our relationship feels right, but I still want to take my time.

Sharing your exact feelings will make the entire conversation easier. Make it clear that you think things feel right, but it doesn’t mean you are ready to go further. Ask your partner to respect you and continue enjoying how things are right now.

7. I feel like I’ve been neglecting my friends lately, and it made me realize that we’re moving a little too fast.

Your partner must know that you have other important people in your life, too. If your relationships with your friends have suffered, use this as a way to start the conversation. It might even cause your partner to realize they’ve been doing the same thing.

Even if they don’t feel the same way, it is still okay that you do. Your partner should understand either way and respect your feelings.

8. I like how our relationship is going, but I’m not ready to meet your family yet.

This statement will work in many situations, meeting the family being only one of them. Replace the family section with something about house hunting, marriage, etc. If your partner mentions doing something you aren’t ready for, switch this statement to fit the situation.

Be honest as you let them know your feelings. Make sure you reassure them that you enjoy the relationship, though, so they don’t feel rejected. You must tell them as soon as they mention it because they’ll take the news harder if you let them get their hopes up.

Making excuses to avoid the situations will only prolong the inevitable or force you to do something you aren’t ready for. Speak up right away and be completely honest about not being prepared.

9. I love the way our relationship is right now, and I’m not ready for any changes yet.

If your partner wants to take the next step, this is a way to tell them that things are moving too fast. Again, you may have to assure them that this isn’t a breakup. A good partner will respect your boundaries and wait for you.

10. Are you worried things are moving too fast? Because I’m a little scared.

If you’re nervous, this is a way to bring up the issue. Admitting that you’re scared while asking them if they are, too, shows that you aren’t trying to cut them off. It makes the topic more of a conversation than explaining your feelings and your partner getting upset.

Your partner might even admit that they feel the same way. Then, you can agree that it is a good idea to slow down and enjoy the present instead. If they disagree, then at least you approached it in a kind, compassionate way so that they know you care.

11. I think we should go out on a date rather than spend time at your place right now.

It is surprising how many people think that being alone at someone’s home is a date. While a nice meal at home can be a date, it might be too intimate for someone that wants to take things slow. Plus, your partner might not even have a homecooked meal in mind when they invite you over to their place.

Try suggesting a date in a public location if this happens to you. This makes it more informal than being cuddled up on the couch watching movies. When you go on dates in public places, you are more likely to talk and get to know each other better.

You will learn about each other’s passions and what sparks their interest the most. Plus, you can take notice of their characteristics as you watch them interact with other people. The way your partner treats others says so much about their character.

12. I’ve noticed I haven’t been doing my hobbies since we started spending much time together. I also realized that I needed to spend some time doing other things.

Instead of spending all of your free time with your partner, take some of that time for yourself. When you give all of yourself to someone, things tend to move too fast.

Let them know that you aren’t ignoring them, but you are simply doing what you enjoyed before. Once they realize your relationship doesn’t change when you spend more time apart, they will be more comfortable.

13. I’m happy that you feel good about our relationship, and I do, too. I’m just not ready to take the next step yet.

In most cases, reassuring your partner that you are happy in the relationship will help alleviate the shock of your request to slow down. If they aren’t okay with it, you can find someone much better that will respect you.

14. I love to spend time with you, but I’d like to slow down and get to know each other better.

This conversation will likely be uncomfortable no matter what, so focus on the positive aspects. Saying that you want to get to know each other better improves the situation because it helps your partner understand. They will realize that you aren’t breaking up but that things need to calm down a little.

15. I want to spend time with you, but I need more time before things get serious.

Telling your partner this way is perfect because it is straight to the point. There is no reason your partner should get offended about it, and it makes your boundaries clear. A good partner will always respect your wishes.

Final Thoughts on the 15 Kind Ways To Tell A Partner That Things Are Moving Too Fast

There is nothing wrong with taking things slow in a relationship, even when happy. Even if you are in love, there is no reason to rush living together, getting married, or anything else you aren’t ready for.

You might encounter someone that isn’t okay with taking things slow. If that is the case, find solace in the fact that they weren’t the right person for you. Make your boundaries clear, and understand that a reasonable person will respect you when you say things are moving too fast.

15 Habits to Help Overcome Painful Memories

May 5, 2022 by Chris Butler

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could erase all the bad memories that you have inside you? Why do these painful memories haunt you and cause you pain weeks, months, or decades later?

According to research published by the National Institute of Medicine, there are ways to help you get over the past. The truth is that your memory is not the most reliable thing, and you tend to add to the drama of the situation as time goes on.

For instance, assume you went to a birthday party as a child that didn’t turn out so well. Another child at the event told you that your nose was too big. As a result, you became self-conscious about your nose and vowed to change it one day.

The research on memories shows that they become altered when you bring up these events. The process changes the memory as the brain brings it to the forefront. It becomes effortless to embellish or distort the events, making matters worse.

If the memory is a bad one you need to heal from, dredging it up from your memory bank can intensify the trauma. So, if you remember the feelings of inadequacy and fearing you were an ugly duckling, you can take an instance such as a child picking on you and morph it into an overall body issue.

Consider another example. Assume you’re an aspiring actor that wants the lead role in a musical. You’ve practiced your song 100 times, and you’re ready for the audition.

Sadly, you attend the event, and the piano player has you in the wrong key. When you insist it’s too high, they ensure it’s the key that they need you to sing in. As a result, you struggle and hit some flat notes trying to reach the high points.

When you failed the audition, you vowed never to get in front of people and sing again. The painful memory of this event affects you when you must speak in front of the board or to customers at work, as it’s developed into social anxiety. The real problem is each time you recall the event. Your mind has made it worse than it was.

Fifteen Ways to Edit Memories

Further research has shown that you recall a memory in the third person. You look at these painful memories as a narrator of a story. It would help if you worked on your memory bank to change the negative experiences into more positive ones.

Thankfully, there is a way to get through these painful memories. While you can’t rewrite history, you can get through it by doing the following things.

1. Live in the Present

First and foremost, the best way to handle such issues is to live in the present. There’s an old story in the Bible found in Genesis 19. God was saving Lot and his wife from the wicked city of Sodom.

His only commandment for them was that they could never look back. Lot’s wife couldn’t resist turning around, and once she turned to see the city she left, she was turned into a pillar of salt.

Now, you’re not going to turn into a pillar of salt, but this story can show you that nothing is good from turning around to your past. You no longer live in that place, so there’s no reason to keep revisiting it.

If you keep turning around and ruminating about the wrong stuff, you will miss the beautiful things right before you.

2. Make New Memories

The best way to get over the painful memories of the past is to replace them with new, better memories. Stop being fearful of the event holding you hostage and start living again.

3. Confront Your Demons

If someone has offended you, it’s time to tell them how they hurt you. It would help to confront the things that have tied you emotionally for years. Once you do this, it can be very freeing.

4. Learn But Don’t Forget

Although many people pray for mental blocks to help them, you should take the learning experience from the situation. For instance, you will teach your children not to make fun of people or to learn how to roll with the punches in life. When you look at the events as a learning experience, it changes your perception.

5. Disrupt Your Tendency to Ruminate on Negative Memories

In life, your positive experience will always outweigh the negative ones. The mound of bad and painful memories will constantly grow quicker. Your mind can be compared to Velcro adhesive regarding your bad experiences, as they seem to stick to you.

However, the positive memories seem like a non-stick skillet where everything slides away with little effort. The key is never to suppress painful memories but instead promote more positive ones.

6. Forgive Yourself and Others

To get over a mountain, you must first climb the steep incline. In this situation, the trek includes forgiving those that hurt you and yourself.

7. Meditation

Meditation is a great tool when dealing with memories that are overwhelming you. In this Zen state, you can purge your mind from negativity. Stop trying to resolve things out of your control. Learn to let go and gain the ultimate comfort.

8. Counseling

Counseling is an effective way to talk about the events of your life that define you. The negative experiences are the ones that can cripple you, and a counselor can give you a third-party objective view.

9. Make The Choice to Forget

Did you know that you have the power to forget the memories that are so painful to you? Research shows that you can suppress the things that cause you discomfort. Science Daily shows that you can choose to hide the memories that have become a crutch in your life if you choose to do so.

10. Journal

When painful memories are too hard to talk about out loud, sometimes it’s best to put them down on paper. The key is to release these toxic things holding you back, and journaling is an excellent avenue to help heal the past.

11. Cut Ties with Toxic People

The past still haunts you because the person involved in those incidents is still in your life. Sometimes, it’s important to cut ties with the past so that you can heal from it. This is especially true in toxic or abusive relationships.

12. Divert Your Mind

Whenever you start having negative thoughts about the past or your mind goes to that hostile place, combat it with a diversion. This is a great trick for those who suffer from anxiety too. When you start remembering the feelings and events that happened, divert the thoughts with something more pleasant.

For instance, if you remember standing on that stage auditioning and feeling like a fool, why don’t you recognize the time you nailed your lead at a board meeting. Using the power of positivity and diversion tactics can change your life.

13. Restart Old Hobbies

If your hobby was signing or being in show business, you might be inclined to give it up after being so hurt after a bad audition. Why do people abandon the things they love after one mishap? The key is to get back out there and prove that you can overcome what held you back.

When trouble comes, don’t abandon the ship so quickly. Get back up and fight another day.

14. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are an excellent way to change your mindset from negativity to more of a positive one. Start each morning by telling yourself that you can and will get over the things that have left a negative imprint on your heart. You can move forward when you learn to lay down your burdens.

15. Do A Vision Board

Vision boards are all the rage these days because they work so well. You need to acknowledge where you are now and where you need to be in the future. You can have fun with these boards and use them to chart your progress on issues and life in general.

Final Thoughts on Overcoming Painful Memories

There’s scarcely a person alive who doesn’t have some pain or trauma that they need to heal from. Why do some people move on with ease while others are stuck in a rut of rumination? The folks who learn to process the traumatic events and move on are the ones who fare better.

It’s time to overcome the things that have happened to you. Yesterday was the past, and you don’t live there anymore. You can and will conquer the painful memories that plague you when you learn to utilize practical tools to work through them.

14 Day Soda Detox to Reset Your Body and Brain

May 5, 2022 by Chris Butler

Have you considered a soda detox? When you’re dragging in the morning or feel the afternoon slumps, can sugary drinks give you an energy boost? Maybe you are like many people who grab a can for the sweet taste.

While the caffeine may give you a boost of energy, you’d be shocked at the empty calories you’re consuming. Always remember you should eat your calories and not drink them. The State of California feels so strongly about reducing soda intake that they have legislation that requires all manufacturing companies to put warnings on the cans.

The 4-1-1 On Soda

An article published by the U.S. National Library of Medicine details the calorie count for seventeen of the top full-sugar 12-ounce cans of pop. They range from 135 to 180 calories per can, which gives an average of about 158 calories. Only nine of the 17 popular varieties have caffeine.

How many cans of soda do you average a day? Let’s assume that you drink one for each meal and one for a snack to equal four cans daily. If you take the 158 calories per can average, you would be consuming 632 empty calories. On an average two thousand calorie per day diet, almost 32 percent of your daily caloric allowance.

Soda Statistics

According to a report published by Healthy Food America, full-sugar soda represents at least 68 percent of sugary drinks purchased annually in America. The report also states that at least half of all added sugar in adults’ diets comes from high-sugar beverages. People in a lower-income bracket tend to drink at least fifteen percent more sugary pop than those with higher incomes, per the report.

Besides high-calorie sodas, you may also be guzzling full-sugar sports drinks and other beverage mixes. When your body gets used to that onslaught of sugar and caffeine, it becomes a “fix” that’s difficult to overcome. The good news is that you can start a detox plan that can help you effectively kick the habit.

Steps for Soda Detox

No matter what your choice of sweet beverages, you can learn to exchange them for healthier options. It may take some time and patience, but your well-being is worth it. Here are some practical ways to do a soda detox plan to give you victory over your sugar addiction.

1. Change Your Habits Slowly

Have you decided to call it quits on soda and other sugary beverages? It’s a health-smart decision that you won’t regret. Just remember to give yourself some time to ease into the detox process.

Of course, you’re all revved up and may be determined to kick the habit. Unfortunately, going “cold turkey” can backfire on you. Remember that your body has grown used to the massive doses of sugar and caffeine.

If you stop suddenly, your body will react with unpleasant symptoms, like headaches, shakiness, and nausea. Instead, start your detox slowly so your body will gradually wean. Begin with drinking one less soda or sugary beverage the first day.

Give your body a couple of days, and then eliminate another can of soda. Keep giving yourself these adjustment periods until you’ve entirely weaned yourself from all pop and other sugar-filled drinks.

2. Switch to Diet Soda

One option is to switch to diet soda to avoid all the sugar. However, it’s not an easy fix. The artificial sweeteners used in sugar-free beverages and other “diet” foods have been a source of contention in the medical research community for years.

Many sugar-free drinks are sweetened with aspartame, a controversial chemical. According to a study published by Research in Nursing and Health, high doses of aspartame may lead to physical and cognitive issues.

If you switch to artificially sweetened pop and other beverages, shouldn’t you lose weight? Probably so, states an article published by the Endocrine Society. However, the report also warns that some people who consume artificial sweeteners may feel hungrier and gain more weight.

Although drinking artificially sweetened pop and other beverages may make sense, consider the possible side effects. A total soda detox will wean your system from all products, including diet pop. Neither sugar nor its artificial replacements are good for you.

3. Water It Down

In the initial stages of your soda detox, you will probably miss the flavor and the bubbly kick you get with each sip. Try this little trick to appease your addicted taste buds. Pour half the can of soda into a glass and top it off with seltzer water.

You will still get the effervescence with only about half the sugar and caffeine.

Remember that this is only a temporary step. Your goal is to eliminate as many sugary sodas and beverages from your diet. Doing the half-and-half is better than quitting cold turkey.

4. Identify Your Triggers

Most bad habits are behaviors that are usually automatic triggers. For example, after getting ready, the first thing you do is grab a soda for breakfast. You may habitually reach for the cold soda on your desk throughout your workday.

When you sit down at home after a long day of work, your mind triggers you to enjoy a soda. You love the sugary, bubbly goodness of your favorite cola and wouldn’t think of serving a meal without it. Not only do mealtimes trigger your pop cravings, but so may watching your favorite shows or enjoying a sporting event.

If you get a headache or feel sluggish, it may be your hint to pop open a soda or two. Now that you’ve identified triggers and time cues, you can be ahead of them with better beverage alternatives.

The whole idea is to wean your body from pop and train it to enjoy other drinks. It may take a few weeks for your body to get used to it, but your improved health is worth it.

5. Chug More Water

An article published by the United States Geological Society mentions that your body comprises at least 73 percent water. Without this vital liquid, life on earth would be impossible. However, does soda give you all the water your body needs to stay healthy?

An article from the Mayo Clinic cites recommendations for women to consume at least 11.5 cups of water per day and men at least 15.5 cups. Your body gets about 20 percent of water from food, and the remainder is from consuming water and other beverages. You may need more water in tropical regions or while doing strenuous exercise.

Although you may get enough fluid from drinking soda, the problem is that many popular sodas have caffeine. According to another article published by the Mayo Clinic, caffeinated beverages can increase your urine output and dehydrate you. So, you gulp down another pop, and the cycle continues.

Try drinking a glass of water before you drink cola for your soda detox efforts. If you are still thirsty, drink just enough soda until your thirst is quenched. Eventually, you’ll find that you will crave more water and less soda.

6. Try Turmeric Tea

Herbal teas are another ideal substitute for your pop detox plan. They are naturally caffeine-free and have many possible health benefits. One exceptionally healthy herbal tea for you to consider is turmeric.

It’s almost inevitable that you will have a few headaches as you wean your body from the caffeine and sugar overload. An excerpt from a book called Herbal Medicine posted on the National Library of Medicine claims that turmeric is a potent anti-inflammatory. A serving of hot or ice turmeric tea can hydrate and reduce the pain in your head.

What if You Don’t Like Plain Water?

Many people enjoy drinking pop because of the flavor and the fizz. So, a glass of flat, tasteless water won’t do if you are one of them. If you are determined to complete a soda detox, you have acceptable alternatives.

Maybe you need some flavor in anything you drink. Try adding a bit of freshly squeezed lemon or lime juice to your water. You could also infuse it with other fruit. Not only will you create infused water that’s tasty and quenches your thirst, but you get an extra boost of vitamins.

Other Thirst-Quenching Substitutions

What could be more tempting than the first bubbly taste of your can of soda? When you are doing a soda detox, you can still get the sensations you crave by drinking naturally sparkling water or seltzer water. Add a bit of freshly squeezed citrus, minced ginger, a sprig of mint, or a drizzle of honey, and you won’t miss cola as much.

Final Thoughts on Soda Detox for Your Health

Although an occasional soda isn’t going to hurt you, guzzling several cans a day can lead to health problems. Pure water is your best choice, but you can always jazz it up with some fresh fruit or a little fizz. So do a soda detox. You will find that ditching the overload of sugar and caffeine can make you feel better and stay hydrated longer.

5 Times That Wheezing Might Mean Something Worse

May 5, 2022 by Chris Butler

You’re no stranger to this odd whistling sound if you have breathing issues. It may appear suddenly or be a chronic problem. Wheezing is your respiratory system telling you that it needs attention.

What is Wheezing?

An article published by Clinics in Chest Medicine defines wheezing as a whistling or high-pitched, coarse sound when you breathe. It happens when your airway is inflamed or obstructed. As you inhale and exhale, the air vibrates on the swollen lining resulting in a raspy whistling sound, per the article.

Usually, you will hear noisy breathing either when you inhale or exhale. The root of the problem may be discovered by which breathing phase you hear the annoying noise. If your breath is crackly with inhalation and exhalation, it could mean a serious issue requiring medical attention.

When you gasp, you may often do it as you exhale. The reason is that your airway muscles are tightening to force the carbon dioxide from your lungs. The high-pitched whistle may be more noticeable and indicate a mild airway obstruction from infection, allergies, or a foreign object.

Other conditions may be present when your breathing is noisy as you inhale. These are the breathing sounds that are usually present if you have asthma. It usually originates deep in the lungs when the asthmatic airways are constructed and mucus-filled.

This obstruction and inflammation will produce the tell-tale whistle sound as air is forced into the lungs.

When Can Wheezing Point to Something Worse?

Anyone can have spells of raspy breathing. If you have allergies or sinus problems, your throat may be a bit tight in the morning, affecting your breathing sounds. Another common cause is mild upper respiratory infections from the cold or flu.

Under normal circumstances, a little squeak to your breathing isn’t a cause for alarm. However, wheezing can be a symptom of something more serious, particularly when it impedes respiration. Here are five times when raspy breathing may need medical attention.

1. Asthma

According to an article published by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, at least 25 million people in America struggle with asthma. It’s caused by sensitive airways leading from the nose and mouth to the lungs, explains the article. Allergens and irritants can cause inflammation of these airways and make breathing difficult.

Symptoms of asthma are tightening of the chest, raspy gasping, coughing, and impaired breathing. It can be deadly if the airways aren’t opened with a quick puff of a broncho-dilator or another fast-acting inhaler. Asthma attacks can strike at any time, and a whistle in the breath may be the first sign of trouble.

2. Allergic Reaction

Your body is a phenomenal machine that instantly recognizes microbes and other pathogens that don’t belong. In response, your immune system directs blood to the affected area. Your blood is rich in oxygen and will dispatch a vast army of white blood cells to surround and destroy the invading microbe or irritant.

Your immune response is a complicated process that involves body compounds like histamines, which help block the invaders. The result of the rush of blood and immunity compounds is inflammation. When an allergic reaction involves your respiratory system, it can be lethal.

Many people have sensitivities to allergens that can be inhaled, such as dust, pollen, and pet dander. These can irritate the lining of your airways and cause inflammation. Mild symptoms may include coughing, sneezing, and raspy breathing.

However, food allergies and venomous stings can also affect your respiratory system, which is usually dangerous. People who have severe allergies to a food or bee sting can have their airways swell and impede breathing. This condition, known as anaphylactic shock, can cost your life without emergency intervention.

One of the ways people are finally diagnosed with allergies is chronic wheezing and tight breathing. Sometimes, the noisy breath comes suddenly with an undiagnosed attack. Either way, that little whistle could be an allergy alert from your body.

3. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease

An article published by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute defines COPD as a progressive disease that makes breathing difficult. It may present as chronic bronchitis or emphysema, says the article. COPD symptoms usually include chronic coughing, rattling breath, air gasping, choking, and overproduction of thick mucus in the airways.

Unfortunately, there are no cures for COPD, and it often declines into a terminal state. However, lifestyle adjustments and medical treatments may help manage the symptoms and hinder their progression. The article warns that smoking is the leading cause of COPD.

You can still develop COPD even if you’ve never smoked. The article suggests that people who’ve been exposed to heavy dust or industrial chemicals over a period are at risk for the disease.

According to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, at least 30 percent of people who develop COPD never smoked. Research suggests that smaller airways may be a contributing factor.

4. Stridor

Stridor is a type of noisy breathing that sounds like a heavy wheeze. Instead of deep in the lungs, stridor originates in the upper chest and neck. It’s a high-pitch whistle that indicates an airway obstruction and can be one of these three.

Inhalation: This raspy noise occurs when you inhale, and the air vibrates swollen tissue around the vocal cords. Stridor is common in children.
Exhalation: If your obstruction is lower in your airway, you may hear a stridor as you exhale.
Biphasic: When stridor is present when you breathe in and out, it may indicate an obstructive problem in the cartilage above your voice box.

Stridor isn’t a disease but a symptom of a severe condition. If the obstruction continues, it can cause a dangerous situation. Since it sounds like wheezing, you need to see your healthcare provider as soon as possible. Stridor can be especially serious in infants and children.

Here is what happens to your body if you quit vaping.

5. Other Times When Raspy Breathing Requires Medical Attention

When you are irritated with a common cold or flu, you will expect a bit of noisy breathing. If you’ve been diagnosed with asthma or allergies, a whistling breath may be your signal to use your inhaler. However, you should seek medical attention if you have any of these symptoms:

Difficulty catching your breath
Heavy breathing with pursed lips
A hint of blue on your skin or nails is a sign that your oxygen is too low
Raspy breathing after a bee sting or eating a food that causes an allergic reaction
Severe breathing difficulty and bluish coloration to skin and nails
Noisy breathing after choking on food or a foreign object

How to Quiet Mild Cases of Wheezing

Fortunately, most people don’t require medical attention if their whistling breath comes from a cold or a well-treated chronic condition. The sound can grate on your nerves and irritate your throat and upper airways.

1. Use A Humidifier

When the air in your space is too dry, it can dry out your breathing passageways and cause coughing and loud breathing. Consider using a humidifier. The moisture can soothe your irritated throat and airways and make your breathing smoother and more relaxed.

2. Drink Lots of Fluids

Did you know that respiratory issues can get worse if you’re dehydrated? Health experts have always recommended that people drink lots of fluid when they are sick. It may also calm inflammation in your mouth, throat, and sinuses.

One of the reasons you may hear a high-pitched whistle in your breath is from excess mucus in your airways. Staying hydrated with fluids can thin the mucus and make it easier to expel. Enjoy the water, herbal tea, and clear broth. Avoid milk and dairy products, which increase mucus production.

3. Avoid Smoking

Having clearer airways is crucial if you need another reason to quit smoking. Even if you don’t smoke, exposure to second-hand smoke can make you symptomatic. One of the many benefits is minor hacking, coughing, and rattled breathing when you quit smoking.

4. Take a Warm Shower

Do you wake up some mornings hoarse with a little noisy breathing? Get some welcome relief by taking a warm shower. The steam and moisture will help loosen excess mucus and open your airways. Elevate the shower’s benefits by adding a few drops of pure eucalyptus oil to the tub to ease your breathing.

Final Thoughts on Wheezing

This common rattling noise may be a symptom of the cold, flu, or mild allergies. However, sometimes it can signal more serious issues that require medical attention. If you have difficulties breathing and other respiratory distress symptoms, seek medical attention as soon as possible.

Many people live with chronic breathing problems, or you may have occasional raspy breaths that make you wheeze and struggle to breathe. It’s imperative to be proactive about an issue, as your breath is what gives you life.

5 Things That Help A Man Feel Like He’s Wanted

May 5, 2022 by Chris Butler

Society perceives that men chase women when they’re interested; some would say that’s the proper way to do things. While that may have been commonplace in yesteryear, today’s woman is confident enough to go after what she wants. And a man wants to feel like he’s wanted.

Women are no longer waiting on a man to make a move, as they have enough assurance and esteem to bust through gender norms.

Is this too much for men to allow a woman to take control? Some cling to the old-fashioned mindset would argue it’s too forward and overbearing of a lady. However, millennials love to pursue each other without playing the old game of cat and mouse.

This article focuses on the needs of men. However, we cover women’s similar desires in a separate article.

Studies Prove Men Need To Be Wanted

Men love a bit of pampering, too; it’s not just a woman thing. They want some attention both in and outside the bedroom. A woman won’t open a door or bring flowers to her guy, but she can initiate romantic interludes, flirt, and do other things to get his attention.

Women need to feel that they’re sexually desirable to their partners. However, new research published by Sarah Hunter Murray shows that men have the same feelings. To love and be loved is what makes life worth living, and men don’t mind being complimented and having someone go the extra mile for them either.

Dr. Murray wrote a book about the desires of men entitled Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, and Relationships. As a sex researcher, she spends much of her time and studies understanding the roles of both parties in intimacy. People automatically assume that all guys want sex; while that might be true at the beginning of their relationship, things change as the relationship grows and becomes more profound.

Dr. Murray studied over 237 men aged 18 to 65 to find out what they wanted from their partners. All these men were in a committed relationship for more than six months. Nearly 95 percent of those men stated that they wanted more than just sex out of their relationship.

Men want to be desired and have a union that goes far beyond the physical aspects. The only problem is that they don’t discuss it much, as men are more guarded about their feelings. A man is supposed to be in charge and courteous towards the woman. Or so society taught them.

This study proves that these instilled views passed down through generations are changing, and it’s about time. A guy has every right to have his needs, desires, and ego stroked.

How Do Men Feel Desired?

Men are expected to be aggressive sexually, and they should take the “bull by the horns,” so to speak. However, it’s a nice change of pace for men to have their desires considered beyond sex. While intimacy is a huge part of any sexual relationship, it’s not the only thing.

According to these stereotypes, it’s hard to believe, but men want more than just sex from their ladies. Here are five things that men desire that make them feel wanted, and it’s time their lady knows it’s okay to go against societal norms.

1. Flirt

If your wife or girlfriend acts flirtatious with you, you’re more apt to feel sexually desired. Everyone needs to feel wanted, even in a small way. Your lady can flirt by sending you text messages, emails, selfies, or telling you to your face.

Maybe she gives you a distinct look that is seductive. When you see this glance, you can’t help but remember the last time you were together, and you know that she wants to be with you too. Flirting is an excellent way to let the other person know you’re interested, and men need women to tell them what they want as much as they do.

2. Instigate Erotic Activity

It’s not fun if you’re the only one that ever instigates sexual activity. How boring would it be if you did the same things repeatedly? Additionally, it loses its luster if you must beg her to spend some quality alone time together.

However, men love when women control and show interest in them. When a woman shows a man what she wants him to do for her, it shows desire. She wants to be with him, so she lets him know how to please her.

A lady can initiate sexual activities through touch or just telling you, but initiating that first step can send your hormones into overdrive.

3. Be A Willing Participant

You’ve probably had some experiences when it felt like you were doing all the work in the bedroom. No man wants a woman to “fake it,” as it makes you feel like a worthless lover. You not only want to make her feel good, but you want her to be involved.

It feels so much better when she’s a willing participant and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. Having an emotionally present partner can make your intimacy more enjoyable. If someone is staring at the ceiling just waiting for sex to be over with, it can cause significant issues for your esteem.

If a lady doesn’t desire you as you want, it might be tempting to find someone who does. Could this be why so many relationships end prematurely? You want your lady to block out real-world distractions and get down to business.

Nothing else but you two and your connection should matter during this time. Engaging with your partner both in and out of the bedroom is essential for your relationship.

4. Initiate Physical Contact

Have you ever been with someone who could accidentally brush up against you, sending your hormones into overdrive? The brush of her skin might make you feel butterflies and tingling sensations all over your body. Touch is a powerful tool as it activates the feel-good receptors in your brain, according to an article published by the Texas Medical Center.

It releases the hormone oxytocin, which makes you feel good all over. Touch doesn’t even need to be sexual for you to feel desirable from it. Remember games of playing footsie under the table? Why did people play these silly games?

Just a small amount of touch with healthy flirting activates these pleasure centers. Women need to realize that they’re not the only ones who desire to feel the touch of the one they love. Men long for the touch of a woman too.

5. Give Accolades

Women love for men to notice a new dress, a hairstyle, or something they’ve done to make the house look great. However, men also need praise. Everyone wants to receive acknowledgment for a job well done and trying something new or reinventing themselves.

Those comments about their physical appearance give them a little boost in their step and make them want to try harder. Consequently, showing a man comments about their jeans or a new hairstyle might make them more apt to desire intimacy. Assume you got all dressed up in a new blue shirt and nice jeans to go out on the town with your lady.

She doesn’t notice all the effort you put into looking good; all she thinks about is her appearance. She asks you 100 times if she looks okay, but she never tells you how awesome you look that evening. When you get home, will you feel like romance if she banters on all night about her hair, makeup, and physical attributes?

What if that woman turned the focus off her looks and turned them to you? What if she praised your shirt for matching your eyes, acted like the slightest whiff of your cologne got her motor running, and called you her handsome hunk? It’s easy to see that this kind of woman will get more out of you because she strokes your pleasure centers within the brain.

Hearing all this praise makes you feel good and helps you take risks and be more engaged with her. Simply put, a little compliment can go a long way.

Final Thoughts On Making A Man Feel Wanted

The need to be wanted and desired goes far beyond gender. In fact, some consider it a bare essential to a happy life. Not only does it help with the makeup of self-esteem, but without it, something is lacking. To love and receive love is a powerful thing. Nothing can change those incredible, warm emotions.

Whether you’re a man with a woman who needs to do more or a woman who wants to understand your guy better, these tips can help you in your relationship. Everyone needs to feel that their needs are being cared for, and sex is just one aspect. Perhaps, you already do many of these things listed, and you’re a role model for others to show a person they’re loved and wanted.

10 Phrases That Reveal a Relationship Isn’t Meant to Last

May 4, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Your partner talking to you is a sure sign of how he feels about you. It is also an indicator of the strength of your relationships and if your love is meant to last. Pay attention to how you and your partner communicate because an inability to communicate positively is a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore.

The way you and your partner communicate can tell you all you need to know about your future together. If your partner says demeaning or intentionally hurtful things to you, pay attention. These issues are sure signs that your relationship is not meant to last because treating someone that way isn’t a sign of respect.

When your partner speaks, take their words to heart because they depict their true feelings. Even if they claim later on that they didn’t mean what they said, you should never ignore it. Saying things and then trying to take them back later shows that their feelings aren’t deep enough.

While everyone makes mistakes in a relationship, you can’t be too easy-going about the things your partner says. Some phrases that you might hear from your partner indicate that the relationship isn’t meant to last. If your partner says these things, it might be time to reassess your relationship or discuss the issues.

Ten Phrases That Reveal a Relationship Might Not Be Meant to Last

Do you recognize any of these signs in your relationships? They might serve as red flags as you move forward.

1. “I wish you’d wear something else.”

If your partner makes you feel bad for the clothes you like to wear, it isn’t a good sign. They shouldn’t judge you if they genuinely care for you, and it all starts with the clothes you wear. If your partner expects you to change your style once you start dating them, then the relationship isn’t meant to last.

Even if your partner doesn’t love what you wear, they should still respect your choices. All that matters is that you like what you are wearing. A good partner will look beyond your clothes and see the person they love spending time with.

2. “I’ll just break up with you if you don’t do it.”

Someone that threatens to end the relationship if you don’t do something for them is not a good partner. Their threat is a sure sign that the relationship isn’t meant to last because it shows that their love is conditional. Giving ultimatums is never a good thing, and there will always be something new for them to force you to do.

You should always feel secure in your relationship, even when you don’t want to do something. Your partner should respect your boundaries and understand when you aren’t comfortable. Using ultimatums to force you into things is never okay, and it is a huge red flag.

3. “I don’t believe in marriage.”

If marriage isn’t essential to your happiness, either, then this might not be such a bad thing. On the other hand, if you dream of getting married someday, this phrase is a bad sign for your relationship. You can’t expect the other person to change their minds because they fall for you.

There is no point in continuing a relationship when you both want different things in the future. Consider whether both people’s dreams can be achieved simultaneously. If it is impossible to achieve both (like in marriage), it is best to cut ties now.

4. “You are only acting like this because you are crazy.”

If your partner accuses you of being crazy anytime, you speak up. Your relationship isn’t meant to last. It would be best to find someone who will listen to your concerns and not dismiss them in this way. A good partner will want to know the things that bother you to continue being happy.

It is a bad sign when you know that you have valid concerns and your partner calls you crazy. You can expect to be disrespected and invalidated throughout the relationship, so it is best to get out now.

5. “Your dream doesn’t work for my vision of the future, so you need to give it up.”

Any person that expects you to give up on your dreams is someone you should distance yourself from. Finding a partner that supports your goals is essential to living a fulfilling life. They should want to find a way for you to work toward your dreams while they also work toward theirs.

Being in a relationship together doesn’t mean that one person has to give up on what they want. Instead, as the two of you continue with your separate ambitions, you can still strengthen your relationship while pursuing your goals.

6. “I don’t want to commit right now.”

If your partner says they aren’t ready to commit, you can accept that your relationship isn’t meant to last. When a person uses this phrase, they admit that they don’t want a serious relationship. That person is looking for fun and games, and you can’t expect them to settle down for you.

So, when your partner tells you that they don’t want to commit, it is time to start distancing yourself. Find someone who will take the relationship seriously so that you don’t get hurt.

7. “My family doesn’t like you.”

While sometimes it isn’t an issue when your partner’s family dislikes you, it is generally a big deal. The relationship will be stressful the entire time, and it is an obstacle that is hard to overcome. People usually listen to their family’s advice, even if they don’t do it right away.

You would likely feel like you were walking on eggshells every time their family was around. It won’t make you feel comfortable or secure in the relationship, and you always have to worry about being judged unfairly. It isn’t good to feel this way in a relationship, and it might worsen as time goes on.

You will find yourself trying to get them to like you, and they may never change their mind. Plus, you would have to worry that your partner would listen to their criticism and decide to leave you.

8. “I’m going to the bar again this weekend.”

No one should have to ask for permission to go out with their friends, but sometimes it goes too far. You shouldn’t feel like you are always second to the bar and going on with friends. Once in a while, your partner should ask if you would mind if they went out.

They should sometimes ask because you might have wanted to spend time with them. You should feel like a choice in your partner’s life, and this statement is a sign that you aren’t even a priority.

9. “You must be PMSing again.”

This statement is rude anyway, but when used in response to you being upset, it is disrespectful. Everyone can get upset, and their feelings shouldn’t be blamed on something else. Your partner should always consider what is upsetting you instead of being dismissive in this way.

Even if you were upset over something insignificant, your partner should never use this statement. You have a right to express your emotions, and your feelings should always be addressed respectfully. This statement shows that your partner is also immature, a precursor to more red flags.

10. “I wish you were more like…”

Anytime your partner compares you to someone else, it is a red flag. It is disrespectful and an obvious sign that they don’t like you for who you are. Your partner should never want you to be like anyone other than yourself.

If your partner compares you to an ex, the issue is even more severe. It is rude, but it also shows that your partner isn’t over their past relationship. You can’t expect them to fully commit to your relationship if they are still stuck in the past.

Final Thoughts on Phrases That Reveal a Relationship Isn’t Meant to Last.

When you are in a relationship, you should feel secure and comfortable. If your partner uses the phrases discussed, it signifies that your relationship isn’t meant to last. You don’t deserve to feel insecure or unhappy, and you deserve respect no matter what is going on.

If you find that your partner uses these disrespectful phrases, don’t allow the behavior to continue. You can try to address the issue before walking away if you want. Be prepared to end, though, because all phrases are signs that it isn’t meant to last.

You should never feel like you must change to appease your partner. They should accept you for the person you are and care about you no matter what. Keep these phrases in mind as you listen to your partner speak, and pay attention to signs that it isn’t meant to last.

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