Love has no judgment, no agenda, no bias, and no bigotry. Love is love without a concrete definition. It lets go of boundaries, walls, and inhibitions. It is effortless. In relationships, love does require work, but it’s meant to be a rhythmic dance of ease and grace. Unfortunately, when it isn’t an easy dance, the relationship often ends disastrously. It’s in those moments that we ask, “What happened?”
Sometimes it will be the man who does the leaving, and sometimes it will be the woman. Other times, it will be a mutual decision. The most difficult part of a break-up, though, often involves the unanswered questions. If you are a man concerned about the love of your life, you don’t want to be left asking, “Why?”
Here are 6 reasons women leave the men they love:
1. They feel alone.
A woman needs to feel that she matters. If her man is not there to support her, there is no reason for her to continue a relationship. Women are nurturers and because of this, when they are in a relationship, they focus their entire being on the man they love. By contrast, men tend to detach quickly when they get comfortable (even in a relationship).
For a woman dealing with the loneliness of being with someone who is not emotionally present, the noise is deafening. She might wake up one day and realize she does not deserve that feeling of worthlessness that keeps coming up through the avoidance she feels. When love and attention is not reciprocated, a woman will realize she does not need to stay in that relationship.
2. They are not being acknowledged.
There is nothing more hurtful to a woman than feeling that you are not fully present when she is speaking. A woman is moved by words. She needs to feel that she is understood, accepted, respected, and supported. When she is conversing with her mate, it is because she needs to feel a connection with him. Women love the simple acts of communication in a relationship; to her, this communication is synonymous with love.
Another way to acknowledge the woman in your life is by acting with chivalry. Taking out the garbage, doing the laundry, or anything that acknowledges her presence and her needs is exceptional in a relationship. If a woman feels she is being taken for granted, she will move on, holding her hurt heart closely to herself.
3. They no longer feel sexy.
Men are sexual creatures. When they want sex, they are ready. A woman, on the other hand needs intimacy. She might crave foreplay, which can provide the feeling of being completely desired by her man. Routine is the kiss of death. A woman wants spontaneity; she craves to be romanced.
In many ways, women live in their minds. Therefore, when a man is only being stimulated by porn or other women, or just wants to have a release, a woman will be completely turned off. There is a moment in a woman’s life when she realizes that if her man doesn’t desire her, or make her feel special (in and out of bed), it’s time to move on.
4. There is a significant life change.
Midlife hits everyone differently. Most women do not require a new car or fancy clothes. At the same time, they need to know they are sexy and wanted by their men. Menopause starts to creep into the picture, and what was once easily tolerated is no longer. Life changes. Children leave to college; a parent needs full-time care; financial stress is present. Women might experience a life-changing difficulty such as overcoming cancer or some other illness, which serves as a reset button that pushes the men out of their lives.
A woman needs to know that she can navigate these life changes with strength and dignity alongside her man. When she feels no support, a woman will quickly reorganize her life, and this might include moving on from her current relationship.
5. Women don’t like someone who is predictable.
Men fall into comfortable routines. The older they get, the less they want to participate in anything that is not about them. This is also why some men go through a massive midlife crisis.
Women need serendipitous moments. They need to know that they matter. Even a small note on a coffee mug is enough to bring appreciation into a relationship. Familiarity is not something that feels good in midlife; it feels boring. To a woman, a man is not a fixture. He is a companion. She wants to feel that she is the same to the man in her life.
6. Their man is not physically there.
Women tolerate a lot, but having a man who cares more about being out and about is a definite “no-no!” In today’s world of feminism, a woman doesn’t need a man to take care of her. She needs a partner who will work along her side and appreciate her presence. When a man is more interested in spending time anywhere but with her, she will cut him loose. It might take time, but the longer she postpones it, the worse it is in the end. She knows it is over when she feels no spiritual or intellectual connection.
Women have evolved in our society. The “need” to have a man is surpassed by a “desire” to share a life with him. When there is no love, appreciation, touch, spiritual connection, intellectual stimulation, or presence, a woman will likely choose independence. Women work just as hard as men. Tolerating a companionship that is not stimulating is no longer on the agenda; it’s a reality check that it is time to move on.
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” ~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass