When you meet someone compatible with and enjoy spending time around, things might start moving too fast. This is a common problem in relationships when the romance is perfect and new. You might realize that things are getting too serious for your comfort, though.
If you don’t want to end the relationship, it can be hard to tell your partner you want to slow down. Most of the time, your partner will respect your boundaries and your belief that things are moving too fast. However, your partner might think you are breaking up with them.
Other times, your partner will decide that they aren’t okay with slowing things down. In that situation, stick to your boundaries and remember that there is someone out there that will.
15 Kind Ways To Tell A Partner That Things Are Moving Too Fast
Finding kind ways to tell your partner that things are moving too fast is essential no matter how you think it will go.
1. I like to take my time making big decisions, so I’d like our relationship to move at a slower pace.
When you use a statement like this one, you give a reason for slowing it down. The reason isn’t one that your partner can try to talk you out of, and if they do, it’s a red flag anyway.
Voicing your concerns in this way shows that it is your personal preference to take things slow. It will help your partner with not taking it personally so that you can continue the relationship.
2. I’ve been letting my work slide, so I think I need to spend more time focusing on that.
You can take this a step further by explaining that you will spend your weekdays focusing on work and that you’ll see them on the weekend. Adjust that timeframe to whatever works best, but it lets your partner know that you aren’t bailing on them. If you plan time together on the weekend, they will believe that you still want to be together.
If necessary, let them know that you are taking this step so that the relationship can work. They will be more understanding by explaining that interference with your work life can cause problems romantically.
3. I feel like we’re moving too fast, so I think I’ll take a weekend to myself and we can get together next week.
You can spend the weekend alone, with friends, or with your family. The point is to take a small break from your partner to give you both some breathing room. Spending time apart can prevent or reduce co-dependency in your relationship, which will make it healthier.
A healthy relationship requires emotional and mental space to think and process as an individual. Doing things without your partner will help you remember that it is beneficial. Encourage your partner to take time for themselves over the weekend, too.
4. We should focus on the present right now. I’m not ready to talk about the future yet.
If your partner keeps talking about the future, but you aren’t ready for that, suggest focusing on the present instead. Just be honest with them and tell your partner that you don’t want to think too far ahead. Ensure them that you enjoy the relationship and don’t want anything to change yet.
You can also tell them that you might be ready in a couple of months. Only say it if it’s true, though, because you don’t want to give false hope.
5. I enjoy spending time with you, and I’d like to continue to, but things are moving a little too fast for me.
Starting the conversation with a positive statement makes the rest easier to say and hear. If you want to stay in the relationship but slow it down, this is a kind way to tell your partner. Without reassurance, your partner might think this is your way of breaking up with them.
Even if your partner is doubtful that you want to stay together, they should respect your wishes. They should give you a chance to show that you still want to be in their life, just taking it more slowly.
6. Our relationship feels right, but I still want to take my time.
Sharing your exact feelings will make the entire conversation easier. Make it clear that you think things feel right, but it doesn’t mean you are ready to go further. Ask your partner to respect you and continue enjoying how things are right now.
7. I feel like I’ve been neglecting my friends lately, and it made me realize that we’re moving a little too fast.
Your partner must know that you have other important people in your life, too. If your relationships with your friends have suffered, use this as a way to start the conversation. It might even cause your partner to realize they’ve been doing the same thing.
Even if they don’t feel the same way, it is still okay that you do. Your partner should understand either way and respect your feelings.
This statement will work in many situations, meeting the family being only one of them. Replace the family section with something about house hunting, marriage, etc. If your partner mentions doing something you aren’t ready for, switch this statement to fit the situation.
Be honest as you let them know your feelings. Make sure you reassure them that you enjoy the relationship, though, so they don’t feel rejected. You must tell them as soon as they mention it because they’ll take the news harder if you let them get their hopes up.
Making excuses to avoid the situations will only prolong the inevitable or force you to do something you aren’t ready for. Speak up right away and be completely honest about not being prepared.
9. I love the way our relationship is right now, and I’m not ready for any changes yet.
If your partner wants to take the next step, this is a way to tell them that things are moving too fast. Again, you may have to assure them that this isn’t a breakup. A good partner will respect your boundaries and wait for you.
10. Are you worried things are moving too fast? Because I’m a little scared.
If you’re nervous, this is a way to bring up the issue. Admitting that you’re scared while asking them if they are, too, shows that you aren’t trying to cut them off. It makes the topic more of a conversation than explaining your feelings and your partner getting upset.
Your partner might even admit that they feel the same way. Then, you can agree that it is a good idea to slow down and enjoy the present instead. If they disagree, then at least you approached it in a kind, compassionate way so that they know you care.
11. I think we should go out on a date rather than spend time at your place right now.
It is surprising how many people think that being alone at someone’s home is a date. While a nice meal at home can be a date, it might be too intimate for someone that wants to take things slow. Plus, your partner might not even have a homecooked meal in mind when they invite you over to their place.
Try suggesting a date in a public location if this happens to you. This makes it more informal than being cuddled up on the couch watching movies. When you go on dates in public places, you are more likely to talk and get to know each other better.
You will learn about each other’s passions and what sparks their interest the most. Plus, you can take notice of their characteristics as you watch them interact with other people. The way your partner treats others says so much about their character.
12. I’ve noticed I haven’t been doing my hobbies since we started spending much time together. I also realized that I needed to spend some time doing other things.
Instead of spending all of your free time with your partner, take some of that time for yourself. When you give all of yourself to someone, things tend to move too fast.
Let them know that you aren’t ignoring them, but you are simply doing what you enjoyed before. Once they realize your relationship doesn’t change when you spend more time apart, they will be more comfortable.
13. I’m happy that you feel good about our relationship, and I do, too. I’m just not ready to take the next step yet.
In most cases, reassuring your partner that you are happy in the relationship will help alleviate the shock of your request to slow down. If they aren’t okay with it, you can find someone much better that will respect you.
14. I love to spend time with you, but I’d like to slow down and get to know each other better.
This conversation will likely be uncomfortable no matter what, so focus on the positive aspects. Saying that you want to get to know each other better improves the situation because it helps your partner understand. They will realize that you aren’t breaking up but that things need to calm down a little.
15. I want to spend time with you, but I need more time before things get serious.
Telling your partner this way is perfect because it is straight to the point. There is no reason your partner should get offended about it, and it makes your boundaries clear. A good partner will always respect your wishes.
There is nothing wrong with taking things slow in a relationship, even when happy. Even if you are in love, there is no reason to rush living together, getting married, or anything else you aren’t ready for.
You might encounter someone that isn’t okay with taking things slow. If that is the case, find solace in the fact that they weren’t the right person for you. Make your boundaries clear, and understand that a reasonable person will respect you when you say things are moving too fast.