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12 Things You Should No Longer Be Ashamed Of

December 11, 2014 by Power of Positivity

“Never be ashamed of yourself. Be proud of who you are and don’t worry about how others see you.” – Kristen Butler

In today’s critical society, the lives of others are often measured and compared to “the norm”. So much so, that it comes down to the point of people actually being ashamed of how they live their life, or even who they live it with.

Whoever made you think that you had to give away your power of being a uniquely beautiful individual?

You do NOT have to be ashamed of your life, how you live it, or who you live it with. The most important part of life is that you are creating happiness in your own life as well as in the lives of others. You shouldn’t have to cover the life you live just because someone else may think or tell you that you shouldn’t, or don’t need to be living in that fashion.

Here are 12 things you should no longer be ashamed of:

1. Taking time for self-care

In a hectic world, getting lost in the hustle and bustle of doing things for others is easy. You can spend an entire day ensuring everyone you know is happy and well cared for.

But what about taking time for yourself?

Self-care, or more commonly referred to as “me time”, comes in many forms. You can go extreme and book a 5-night vacation to somewhere sandy and warm, or you can do something a little more subtle and treat yourself to your favorite meal, read your favorite book, or get a massage. Self-care is vital to well-being!

2. Showing or expressing your emotion

Feeling sad? Maybe a little angry? You could even be ecstatic! Whatever you’re feeling, please don’t be ashamed to express it. People who regularly use cognitive therapy to understand what they’re feeling become more competent in managing their emotions. As a result, they are less susceptible to manipulation and negative moods.

3. Who you spend time with

Not all your loved ones are family. Sometimes these people include your friends and romantic partners. In other words, you get to decide who you let into your life and who you spend most of your time with.

According to Jim Rohn’s law of averages, you’re most like the five people you spend most of your time with. If this is true, wouldn’t it be wise to proudly spend time with the people who you want to be around that will make you a better person?

4. What you do for work

In a society obsessed with what you do for a living and how much money you make, following your career aspirations can sometimes seem difficult. Just ask any liberal art college student how many times they’ve heard, “You’re getting a degree in that? What are you going to do? How are you going to pay your bills?”

When you’re constantly bombarded with attacks on your career choice, it’s easy to get discouraged. Always remember what drew you to a certain field in the first place, and why you feel that you’re positively contributing to the world through that career choice.

5. Forgiveness

Holding grudges is bad for your relationships and health. It can easily wrap you up in the past instead of the present, and produce a multitude of health issues.

Never be ashamed to forgive anyone. Forgiving is important to move forward in life. Sometimes people think forgiving means it makes it okay. That’s untrue. Forgiveness means you are allowing yourself to let go. You free yourself from the bondage, and in fact, receive more of a gift from it than those who you forgive!

6. Being hopeful

There’s a common saying that a person is made truly happy by three things: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. The dreamers among us know all about hope and how common it is to have that hope challenged by people who tell you to “be realistic” and prepare for the worst.

But to those challengers, we say, “You may call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” Hopeful, positive thinking even has multiple health benefits including increased life span, lower levels of stress, and improves coping skills. So in difficult times, keep calm and hope on!

7. Positive thinking

Not every day may be a good day, but this doesn’t mean that you have to let life kick you while you’re down. It’s impossible to predict when a bad day is going to come around, but thinking positive throughout those bad days will make you more resilient next time you’re challenged with one. With this ever growing resilience, you’ll be cruising down the best possible path you can take with your life.

8. Being true to yourself

One of the biggest death bed regrets people express is not living a life true to themselves. It’s easy to get wrapped up in other people’s expectations for you and your life, but it will always boil down to what you want to do with your life.

Embracing your unique self and loving that self is one of the most courageous things you can do. Don’t worry about what others think. As that ridiculously catchy Bon Jovi song goes…it’s your life. It’s now or never.

9. Your past

Trials and tribulations ultimately create experience and wisdom. There are a lot of bumps along the road of life, especially in the first couple of decades. Don’t let those minor bumps turn into mountains. There will be moments that you wish you could do over, but the power of hindsight is that you learn from your past mistakes.

As time goes on, you’ll be able to make better, more informed decisions, allowing you to create a happier and healthier life.

10. Your natural self

In her wildly hilarious memoir, Bossypants, Tina Fey references a laundry list of beauty standards forced on women, including Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, small Japanese feet, the arms of Michelle Obama, and much more.

Men and women are both subjected to this kind of social standard, and can often become ashamed of how their body looks, based on what other people think about it. Even if you try every cutting edge surgery or serum, no one can be a perfectly sculpted specimen. Give those strict beauty standards a kick to the curb and embrace your natural state, while aiming to be the best version of you.

11. Your eating habits.

From animal protein lovers to vegans and beyond, people can be very sensitive about their food. Some people swear by their diets, while others jump from superfood to superfood trying to find their next nutritive fix.

Whatever you’re chowing down on, don’t let others discourage you from being consistent with your beliefs. Listen to your body. It will tell you exactly what food it needs, and if you ever get stuck on what to eat next, there are many resources available online to create a perfect meal plan for your individual needs

12. Doing your best

We all want to live happy, fulfilling lives. Doing so takes a conscious effort, a lot of energy, and sometimes even a lot of time. Striving to do your best is always admirable and should be revered, not frowned upon.

Anyone who tries to make you feel ashamed for striving may simply be ashamed of themselves for not striving to be their own optimal self

Step into the freedom of being your unique self. You can be free from living in shame, regardless of what anyone thinks. Know that you are positively impacting the world and that everything outside of that is strictly superficial. Shine ON!

9 Signs You May be a Light Worker

December 11, 2014 by Power of Positivity

Do you feel like you have a strong calling to bring healing to the world? You could be a light worker.

Many of the world’s population are made up of them. And, if you aren’t a light worker yourself, you’ve most likely met one.

Light workers carry a strong sense of desire to produce positive energy in the world. They use their gifts to spread the divine wisdom of love for self and others. Along with it, they share freedom, knowledge, and self-mastery to align ever closer with pure, loving energy.

Have people told you that you have a “pure heart” or you inspire them? Or that you warm their spirits, especially when they’re feeling down? Then, you might be destined to work the light. A light worker feels much different than those around them. Often, they become intertwined in the spiritual community to help identify and heal the ills of the world around them.

9 Signs You May Be a Light Worker

If you’re not sure whether you were put here to work the light (or not), these 9 signs will help you identify:

1. You are sensitive

A light worker’s spirit is very pure, and many of the negative things that go on in this world can be difficult for them to understand. They may also find difficulty in dealing with people who display intense emotions such as aggression and anger.

As the light worker travels through life and negative events occur, they seem to have a more profound effect, leaving them to feel tired, and feel the need for self-care to restore their clarity and energy levels.

2. Being alone feels normal.

From early on in their life, a light worker can feel isolated from others, lonely, or misunderstood. As they experience all of life’s challenges, they will often find further isolation as they seek their unique path.

And because they easily pick up negative feelings and moods of people around them, it is important for them to spend time alone on a regular basis. This introverted nature doesn’t really come from a social preference or temperament; it is simply at the core of the light worker’s spirit.

3. You are empathetic

The light worker is drawn to grow their sense of understanding in the world, and will often reach into the dark corners of life to gain this perspective. Doing more than simply sympathizing, the light worker cares for others from a place rooted deep within them.

They continue to grow more compassionate as their experience unfolds, and the direct effects of that effort ultimately help grow empathy in the hearts of others.

4. You have a strong desire to help people

Because of a light worker’s empathetic nature, they often take up careers of service to others. Whether as a counselor, nurse, or even teacher of any kind, it is all further verification of a light worker’s dedication to make a solid contribution to the higher good of humanity.

5. You honor and respect the spiritual sense of life

The light worker sees a grander vision of the world. Like a small cog in a big machine, light workers realize that they are a small, but integral part of life that can have an effect on the world. Almost like panning out with a camera, the light worker is tuned into a spiritual sense that all things are related, and that with every action comes a very real reaction.

When the Earth witnesses destruction through the many pursuits of man, the light worker can feel a sense of loss, and even perhaps grief. This deep connection often leads to a close connection with animals and the environment, possibly even prompting their life’s work in one of these fields.

6. You’re a bit of a rebel

As the light worker is a bit different and doesn’t seem to quite “fit in” to the mold of society. Hierarchical structures don’t often work well in traditional organizations, and the authority that goes with them often make a light worker feel the need to rebel.

This anti-authoritarian nature is at the core of the healer’s being. It is connected to their life work to set a new way of living that transcends the blockages of spiritual evolution here on Earth.

7. You act as a voice for humankind.

Light workers often act as a representative for mankind through their own creative expression. They depict the mental activities of society through the liberal arts, giving a voice to the thoughts of culture as a whole.

Throughout history, many sages have connected us through a depiction of their visualization in the most creative ways. The light worker finds fulfillment in this self-expression. Their creativity, knowledge and intuitive nature make an impact on those they meet and ripple through humankind.

8. You admire the cosmos

Have you ever felt like you had “another home” in the great space beyond? The light worker has a fascination with the stars and expansion beyond our mere Earthly existence, feeling as if they’re directly connected with something beyond this planet.

The healer’s connection to source, the divine, and all that is in the Universe is strong in their spirit as they are guided to bring the light to where they are now.

9. You find yourself drawn to inspiration and personal development.

Light workers live as their best selves and help others attain the same. You see who we are and who will be can be in our daily habits. Because we are drawn to the light, we surround ourselves with inspiration, positivity and personal development activities. This could be in the form of physical, mental, or spiritual.

For example, you may spend time forming self-improvement habits. Think reading self-help books, practicing yoga, meditation, praying, personal development seminars, running, walking, going to church, listening to audiobooks, etc.

Live to learn to love.
Learn to love to live.
Love to live to learn
so that you may live the life that you yearn.
~ Rico Dasheem

Most of all, these healers can be free from seeking validation outside themselves as they realize the true empowerment that lies within. It is up to each light worker to continue helping to spread that message by shining their own luminescence outward.

Do you feel that you’re a light worker? Discuss in the conversation below, or weigh in on Facebook!

How To Heal And Move On From Toxic Love

December 10, 2014 by Karen Salmansohn

Warning! This story includes a naughty word – however – this word is necessary – because its shock-value is what catapulted me to change my life. I share this naughty word now with only the most loving intentions – hoping it might be an empowering caffeinated jolt to any sleeping spirits out there!

About a decade and a half ago I used to joke that for me all dating should be re-named ‘blind-dating” – and instead of saying I was “seeing someone right now” – I should be more honest, and say, “I’m dimly viewing someone.”

I remember I was once “dimly viewing” this particular guy. I’ve written about him before – explaining how every time I said this guy’s name, my girlfriends would sing the theme song to Batman. Not because this man looked great in black Spandex tights. No, no. It was because he was a bad man.

“Dadadadadadada Bad-man! Bad-man!” my girlfriends would sing, right after I’d finish telling a particularly bad Bad-man episode—of which there were many.

Let’s call this ex of mine “Bruce Wayne” – to protect his not-so-innocent secret identity.

Today I want to share something I never told you about Bruce.

Ready?

Bruce’s “dadadadadada bad-behavior” began very early on – a few weeks into our relationship.

Yep, right out of the gate Bruce displayed what I felt were highly controlling and paranoically jealous behaviors.

Yet I continued to date him.

I even went away with Bruce for a week-long vacation in Turkey – where we had a very big fight one evening. I made a silly joke to our Turkish waiter – who then laughed – and touched my shoulder before he left our table. Bruce then became convinced that I was flirting with this Turkish waiter. He specifically wanted to know if I’d rather be dating this waiter – a man who could barely speak English – plus lived well beyond a 5,000-mile radius of my zip code. I kept reassuring Bruce I was not the teeniest bit interested in this Turkish dude – yet Bruce refused to talk to me for a full two days of our vacation!

When I came home from vacation, I sought out therapy. I found a nice older psychotherapist, named Sid, who eventually became like a “grandfather from another great-grand-mother.” I adored Sid.

“You’ll never believe what Bruce said/did last night,” I’d begin each and every therapy session. And then I’d launch into another “Dadadadadadada Bad-man Episode”!

“Bruce said he doesn’t want me to have brunch with girlfriends on weekends anymore – unless he comes along.”

“Bruce told me he doesn’t want me to take an evening painting class – because he thinks I just want to meet someone.”

Or… “Bruce told me he doesn’t want me to go to the gym – because he thinks I just want to meet someone.”

“Bruce told me he doesn’t like it when I come home happy from work – because he worries I enjoy work more than him! He actually became angry the other day because I came home so happy!”

And so, the toxic love continued

Each week I’d tell Sid story after story – quickly followed by rationalization after rationalization – always explaining why I should stay with Bruce.

“You know what your problem is Karen?” Sid asked me one session. “You’re so smart, you’re stupid.”

I laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You are able to over-think things so much – that you wind up talking yourself out of what you already know.”

“So you think I should break up with Bruce?” I asked.

Sid sighed loudly. “I’m a therapist. I’m not supposed to tell you what to do. But if you want my honest opinion… I can’t believe you’re gonna stay with him when he’s an asshole.”

“Wow! I can’t believe you just called Bruce an a***hole,” I said. “But you’re right, he is an a**hole.”

“Actually, I didn’t call HIM an a**hole! I called YOU an a**hole. You heard me wrong. I said, ‘If you continue to stay with Bruce, then YOU are an a**hole.’”

“What? I’m not the a**hole! Bruce is the a**hole!”

“At this point, Karen, if you stay with Bruce knowing what you know – then YOU are the a**hole.”

“I’m the a**hole?” I repeated this word out loud – a word as opposite in content as a mantra could ever be – but alas, more powerful than any mantra I’d ever used.

This word “a**hole” became my wake up call!

Sid was right. If I stayed with someone who was so very toxic to my well being – then I became the A**hole to me – for allowing this soul-crushing, freedom-squelching relationship to continue!

“Listen, Karen,” Sid said, “at this point in therapy we are simply wasting time talking about Bruce – and how messed up he is. Quite frankly, you are only using stories about Bruce to distract yourself from your real issues – and the important inner work you have to do on yourself. It’s time we talk about the white elephant in the room: your wounds! There’s obviously something very wounded inside of you, that you feel the need to stay with Bruce – when he is so toxic.”

So toxic

Although this story happened well over a decade ago, I think about it often. I particularly think about it whenever I’ve found myself starting to enter into what I intuit might be a toxic relationship –be it in love, business or friendship.

Also, I feel if we’re not careful we can all find ourselves wasting a lot of precious tick-tocking time complaining about how badly someone is behaving towards us. We waste that time on toxic love.

I believe we need to stop asking questions like:

“Why is this person treating me this way?”

“Why did this person do that crappy thing to me?”

“What is wrong with this person?”

“Are they an a**hole?”

“Are they a sociopath?”

“Is this person a narcissist?”

“Isn’t this person simply just a terrible person?”

The really important questions we should be asking instead are:

“What did I miss in the vetting process that I allowed this person into my life?”

“What is wounded inside me that I choose/chose to stay with this person for as long as I do/did?”

“How can I grow from this experience – so it doesn’t repeat itself into a bad pattern?”

“Do I want to make this a story about how I was a victim – or how I became a victor?”

“Do I want to waste my time, thoughts and energy on toxicity or use it for a higher purpose?”

“Aren’t I wise and strong for how I moved on to be with better people and live better days?”

If you’re presently caught up in telling stories about the toxic misbehaviors of someone – the time has come to stop getting caught up in name-calling, contempt, and blame.

The time has come to recognize you’re just distracting yourself with all the drama, chaos and static!

Yep, the more you stay with and/or complain about a toxic person, the more you’re merely delaying doing the important inner work you need to do – to heal your wounds, expand your limiting beliefs, and show yourself far more love and respect.

All of this time expended on them could be time spent on expanding you – growing who you are!

My lesson/your lesson: Don’t be an a**hole to yourself. Stop staying with (and/or complaining about) toxic people. Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self. Find a partner who will love you as much as you deserve!

The end result

Want to enjoy happy, safe-feeling love? Want to say NEVER AGAIN to toxic relationships? Check out the results-proven tools (for both men and women) in Karen Salmansohn’s NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – an inspiring online webinar – you can listen to anywhere in the world. For a limited time THE NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is discounted 40% – for the holidays! These tools Karen shares were loved so much by the people at OPRAH they gave Karen a column on the OPRAH website! Click to find out more!

6 Things You May Forget to Be Grateful For

December 9, 2014 by Power of Positivity

Do you start each day with a grateful heart?

How many things do we take for granted every day? Probably more than you think. If you’re reading this right now, you have the gift of reading – a gift that about 800 million people in this world do not have. You also have access to the internet – only about one-third of the world’s population has such access to such technology.

Sometimes, it’s healthy to take a step back and put things into perspective. It’s healthy because it’s very easy to slip into contentment mode – a default mindset that thinks things “just are”, and most times this is not a healthy mentality. It’s not healthy because it creates thoughts and feelings of lack and scarcity when there is an abundance of things to be thankful for.

“Your day should always begin and end with being grateful. Gratitude unlocks the robust life waiting for us all.” – Kristen Butler

Let’s take a look at six things that we may forget to be grateful for.

1. Water

A basic, easily accessible element and necessity of life to most people, water, is not so easy to access for some. Consider these statistics from water.org:

– 780 million people lack access to an improved water source, about one in nine people.

– Over 2.5 times more people lack water in the world than live in the United States.

– If you take even a five-minute shower in the morning, you are using more water than an average person living in a developing country slum uses in an entire day.

Tragically, lack of access to water causes death to many – including women and children. Lack of a clean water source in the world is truly an epidemic and one that must be addressed.

2. Electricity

When the sun starts to go down, it is an automatic reaction to simply switch on a light. However, this is not the case for about 1.3 billion people in the world without access to electricity.

The sources of light in areas of the world without a power grid are both unhealthy and unsustainable. The burning of firewood, dung, and materials heavily pollutes the air and causes nearly 3.5 million deaths.

The implications of not having a power grid are vast. There is no power to run refrigerators or air conditioning, no light in classrooms, no power for computers and other technologies. 90% of children in Sub-Saharan Africa go to schools that have no electricity. 60% of businesses in this region cite the lack of a power source as the primary crux in operations.

The world is slowly starting to take notice. U.S. President Barack Obama recently introduced his Power Africa initiative, investing over $7 billion to bring electricity access to over 20 million households in South Africa. However, this is a very small investment in to what amounts to be a multi-trillion dollar problem.

3. Nourishment/food

The world produces plenty of food, especially in developed countries like the U.S. This is evident by the $1 double cheeseburger that you can buy at your local fast food joint.

Despite this abundance, about one person in eight on the planet goes to bed hungry each night. In some countries, one in three children is underweight. The reasons are various: poverty, lack of investment in agriculture and transportation, droughts and climate problems (such as climate change), and food wastage – one-third of all food is never consumed (1.3 billion tons).

Malnutrition is an epidemic and is being put on the world’s stage. In late November, the United Nations help a conference to “eradicate malnutrition”. This event was attended by leaders from over 170 countries.

4. Education

Nothing else is more important to both societal and individual advancement than education. Citizens that can read, think critically, and learn special skills (such as trades) have better economic opportunity, healthier children, contribute more to society, and have better overall health.

In the U.S., much still needs to be done regarding the affordability of college and student loan debt. The fact still remains, however, that most people have at least a high school education – specifically, basic reading, writing, and math skills.

As with nearly everything else on this list, education is not very accessible in unindustrialized countries. This is mostly due to a lack of both funding and the number of educators. Supplies that are easily accessed by citizens of other countries – pens, paper, folders, etc. – are in very short supply in poorer countries.

5. Shelter

If you’re reading this in the comfort of your own home, you have shelter (even if you are dreading writing that monthly check!). For that, be grateful.

In all seriousness, there are many people – including in the U.S., which should be considered unacceptable – that do not have a roof over their head or an ability to sleep in a bed at night. If developed countries have a problem with homelessness, imagine the conditions in the poorer areas of the world. Huts, shacks, tents, and other makeshift shelters made out of gathered materials are a commonality in these areas. Some sleep on concrete, dirt, or in other unsafe, unsanitary places.

It is very difficult to calculate the number of homeless in the world because of the lack of technology and government outreach in many poorer areas of the world, but a conservative estimate from the U.N., which was last calculated in 2005, has an estimate of well over 100 million people. This number is likely much higher due the above mentioned reasons.

6. Freedom

Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly…these are just four elements of a social construct that most democracies have.

If there is a cause that you want to fight for, you can do so. This is because of the basic rights embedded in documents such as the Constitution, Bill of Rights, or another document that safeguards the basic rights of citizens in a democracy.

Contrast this with other countries with oppressive, overreaching governments such as North Korea and China, just to name a couple. Forced labor, inadequate food supply, no due process, no independent media, no religious freedom, and very limited opportunities for advancement within society are the norm for citizens of totalitarian, oppressive countries.

Our freedom is one of the greatest things for which we should be grateful.

Freedom of the individual should be a basic human right, but it isn’t in many areas of the world. Women, especially, have it even more difficult than men in many of these places because of the “lower status” that they have been labeled with upon their birth…simply because of their gender. Many women around the world experience forced marriage, abuse, and even reproductive mandates that limit the number of children they can have.

Remember–be grateful! For more information, including on how you can help, please visit www.hrw.org.

10 Signs You’ve Found Your Soul Mate

December 7, 2014 by Power of Positivity

Soul mate. The term refers to a deeply intimate and profound connection between two individuals, characterized by an inexplicable sense of compatibility, understanding, and unity. A soul mate is believed to be someone with whom one shares a unique bond that goes beyond physical attraction or superficial qualities, encompassing a profound emotional, mental, and spiritual connection. This extraordinary bond is a meeting of two souls that feel complete, complementing each other in ways that bring joy, growth, and a profound sense of belonging to both individuals involved. Soul mates will offer unwavering support, unconditional love, and a profound understanding transcending time and circumstances.

The dictionary offers this one-sentence definition: “A person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond.”

Fleeting relationships come and go. But there’s nothing quite like being intertwined with that special someone who leaves an everlasting imprint on your soul. Everyone wants to find a soul mate, and many people chase after it endlessly. But how can you tell which relationships will truly make a soulful impact in your life? And is there only ONE potential soul mate for you out there?

Many people believe that we don’t choose our partners. In fact, they think that destiny puts us together. Whether that’s true or not, it’s important to know if the person you’re in a relationship with truly has the potential to warm your heart forever. Watch for these ten signs to gain a clearer vision when seeking your soul mate.

10 Signs You’ve Found Your Soul Mate

1. Your soul mate is loyal

Loyalty is an essential quality of any close relationship, and you should definitely be able to check this off the list when seeking your soul mate. Having a strong assurance that they will be there for you in all times is a must.

Your soul mate will also be willing to remain by your side, even when you aren’t in a “season of harvest.” When you finally connect with the right person, a union goes far beyond any superficial situation.

2. Your soul mate is supportive

Support from your significant other is vital, and a soul mate should be able to provide this at all times, in all situations. Your soul mate will help uplift you, will stay aware of your emotions, and help pick you up when you’re feeling down.

Of all people, the person who touches your soul will know your vulnerabilities, and much like the ancient art of Kintsugi, your soul mate will help fill your cracks and make you stronger than ever.

3. Your soul mate has similar morals and values

In the “talking” phase of your relationship, you probably talked to your partner about your hobbies, interests, favorite memories from childhood, and what your family is like. Sharing these things with your partner helps them get to know a little bit about you as a person and likely sets the stage for a second date.

Somewhere down the road, you probably wanted to know them deeper and understand their core values and morals. If both of you have very different interests and hobbies but connect on a deeper, spiritual level, you will have a higher chance of making a lasting connection than two people who have no core values in common. In other words, how you choose to live your life should match how your partner lives theirs. If both of you have the same outlook on how to handle finances, how to raise children, where to live, have similar spiritual practices, and have the same general outlook on life, you will probably be able to maintain the relationship in the long-term.

The main point is that hobbies and interests change, while core values and beliefs usually don’t. According to a study by researchers at Michigan State University, having these in common is key to making relationships last.

4. Your soul mate sparks passion in you

When someone inspires you to bring out your best self and create from your heart, there’s a good chance they could be a soul mate. This person will not suppress or distract you from your inner desires but rather act as a catalyst to help you propel into the life you’ve always dreamed of.

You and your soul mate have the potential to become the best versions of your own selves. Indeed you are giving way to growth that you’ve only imagined. They know the importance of seeing you fully live (not just exist) as your best self and will take the positive steps necessary to help you see your passion come to life.

5. You communicate comfortably with your soul mate

You can be confident that you may have found a soul mate when your words towards each other are kind and loving (more often than not). Of course, you’ll have your ups and downs. But if kind communication is consistent, you have a winning formula. You also know you can tell your partner ANYTHING without judgment or criticism.

Likewise, you can be honest and expect understanding and love. If you feel like you cannot be open and honest, even during a moment of “human error”, that’s a sign of someone who may not match the energy of your soul.

6. Your soul mate knows how to make you feel special

We all have our version of what we like when it comes to being loved, and your soul mate will learn to hone in on exactly what that is, making sure to love you in this way regularly. It can be as simple as a cup of coffee in the morning or a love note left on the table. Whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, your soul mate will always aim to please you.

Of course, we’re not referring to making someone a slave for love, but rather letting them know what you like and seeing them make conscious efforts to deliver that to you.

7. Your partner truly appreciates your affection

In the right relationship, it’s essential to make all the non-physical connections such as comfortable communication, similar interests, etc., but there’s no denying the powerful energy produced when you physically connect with your soul mate. Just a single touch from that special someone can send chills through your body, and your soul mate is the one type of person who seeks to give and receive that feeling from you consistently.

Your soul mate will NOT simply “get what they want and be done with you”, but rather enjoy every moment of passion with you – every step leading up to it and every step leading down from it.

8. Your soul mate (always) thinks you’re irresistible

The person who makes you blush, no matter what time of day or year, is surely a soul mate in the making. A soul mate type of relationship is one that looks past imperfections, messy hair, wrinkles, and little behaviors that may be considered “less than savory” by others.

Even when you don’t necessarily see your radiance, your soul mate will. Your special someone doesn’t need to see you in your best dress to be enamored by your beauty.

9. Your special someone makes you feel safe

Nowadays, everywhere we turn, we are exposed to shock. The news, social drama, and so many other situations send out negative energy that can leave you feeling separated and scared.

When these events occur, your soul mate will know how to greet you with open, tender arms that make you feel completely safe and secure. They will work to flood you with positive energy, eliminating the negative vibes that can potentially separate you from your happiest self.

10. Your Soul Mate is trustworthy

There are so many negative temptations that life has to offer. So it’s no wonder why breakups and divorce rates are at an all-time high. It can be hard to stay confident that “The One” can be trusted. However, trust is a must. And finding your very special someone requires you to open up to an even higher level of trust.

These high levels of trust may seem high-risk for you. However, rest assured that your soul mate will not abuse the freedoms of your relationship. And, they will show an equal level of trust and openness. Finally, that all comes without trying to “keep up” with your level of effort.

Add to the discussion: What signs have you seen that led you to finding your soul mate?

11 Simple Ways to Practice Self Care and Release Stress

December 5, 2014 by Power of Positivity

Life often produces “pre-packaged stressfulness” that can come in many forms. Buying a car, house, paying for college, looking for jobs, etc. are all examples of this. How you deal with stressful situations, however, makes all the difference. Stress can either eat away at you or empower you; it all depends on the self care strategies you employ to deal with the stress when you encounter it. If you have been extra stressed lately, it’s important to remember the value of YOU and take time for proper self-care,

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” – Deborah Day

Find freedom from stress with these 11 simple, yet powerful self care practices:

1. Breathe deeply.

In our fast-paced society, we often forget to slow down and pay attention to our breathing. Taking short, staggered breaths can increase your anxiety by restricting air flow to your lungs. Deep abdominal breathing has been shown to slow down the heart rate, decrease blood pressure, and also give your mind clarity.

When you find yourself in need of self-care, take deep breaths and visualize yourself in a calm, peaceful place. This will help decrease stress and regulate your breathing.

2. Practice meditation.

Eastern cultures have been practicing the self care ritual of meditation for centuries, as it is believed to connect us to our higher selves, spiritual masters, angels, and spirit guides. We can also restore cells and even transform our DNA though the practice of meditation. When you sit or lay down in a tranquil spot and just focus on your breathing and the pleasure of being alive, you can tune out of stressful situations and tune into what truly matters – your Spirit within.

3. Introduce healing items into your living space.

If you have been feeling a little disconnected and overwhelmed, try implementing crystals, peaceful or inspirational paintings, a small indoor Zen waterfall decoration, or even some lush indoor plants. All of these can balance your energies and give you a sacred space to relax and find inner peace again if you have been feeling frantic and scattered.

4. Enjoy time in nature.

Oftentimes, stress can build up if we haven’t had adequate time outside. Bonding with the Earth keeps you grounded and connected with yourself and all that is. The sun shining on your skin can revitalize you and remind you what a blessing it is to be alive.

Nature provides powerful healing properties that can make you forget the causes of unease and stress.

5. Try aromatherapy.

Aromatherapy can automatically lower stress levels and trigger a deep, peaceful response. In addition to relieving stress, it is believed that aromatherapy can help to boost the immune system. Stress can make you vulnerable to illness, and aromatherapy can stimulate chemicals in the brain that help fight infection.

One of the most widely-known fragrances to aid in stress relief is lavender. Try burning some lavender incense the next time you feel a little on edge. You can even buy lavender essential oils if you don’t like burning things in your home.

6. Hug someone.

A warm embrace from someone you know or even a stranger is a simple yet powerful self care tactic that can reduce your stress and remind you of all the positivity life has to offer. Hugging increases the production of the “love hormone” oxytocin. This, in turn, causes your blood pressure to drop, heart rate to slow down, and gets rid of any tension you may feel. It also makes you feel loved, welcome, and comfort.

Next time you feel stressed, just hug it out! The human touch is powerful and can provide instant benefits no matter what life has thrown at you.

7. Get involved in group exercise classes.

Exercise has been proven to lower stress levels. It also releases endorphins, which make you feel instantly energized and euphoric. Working out around other people also gives a sense of community, offering a bonding experience with others while doing something good for your body. If you have a gym nearby, try a few workout classes if you want a fun way to relieve stress.

8. Get rid of the source of stress.

If you can eliminate a few of your stressors altogether, that would free up a lot of your time, energy, and “emotional capacity”. Obviously, you can’t just get rid of your job or bills immediately, but if you have experienced added stress from having too many obligations, try to drop the ones that aren’t mandatory. Regardless of what others may think or say, you are allowed to free up your schedule and have some “you” time for self care.

9. Ask for a massage.

Whether you ask your partner for a massage or book an appointment at your local spa, a massage is an excellent self care practice to wipe away stress and transport you to a place of complete bliss. Massage therapy can work out the kinks in your shoulders or back while also getting rid of the emotional snarls you might be feeling, leaving you only with a wealth of benefits, both physical and psychological. You deserve to feel vibrant and de-stressed!

10. Take an Epsom salt bath.

Epsom salt baths are known far and wide for their sprawling positive effects on the mind, body, and spirit. Not only does the warm water help relieve aching joints and sore muscles, but adding in Epsom salt with a few drops of your favorite essential oils can also relax the nervous system and help replenish magnesium levels in the body. Magnesium helps produce serotonin, a mood-elevating chemical in the brain that creates a feeling of calm and tranquility. Salt baths have also been known to eliminate toxins in the body, which help alleviate stress and trapped tension

11. Honor your inner child.

This final tip can allow you to channel your most childlike desires and forget about adult responsibilities for a while. After work one day, do something your eight-year-old self would have enjoyed. Go play outside in your backyard and fully engage in the marvels of nature, take your kids to race go-karts, or play a game of hide-and-seek with them. There’s nothing like bringing out the kid within us all to play for a little while to remind us that life really isn’t as serious as we make it out to be!

6 Things You Must Release In Order to Move Forward

December 5, 2014 by Power of Positivity

One aspect of being a productive, happy person is growth – both personal and professional. We strive to create new opportunities for a few different reasons: ambition, money, influence, career growth, new challenges, and etcetera. It’s natural to seek opportunities and circumstances that challenge us and move us forward.

While most of us know the things that we need to do in order to be successful – hard work, long hours, more responsibility – less attention is paid to the things that must stop doing in order to realize this success. You’ll notice that most of these self-damaging behaviors and habits are a result of your thinking, which is perhaps your important asset in achieving success, and one that can give you a tremendous advantage…or disadvantage.

Here are 6 things that you must release to move forward and achieve success

1. Release the desire to make everyone happy.

Everyone has an opinion about everyone they know, accurate or inaccurate. Unfortunately, many of us focus too much on what others think about us. This is only natural, as we want to be accepted, liked, and appreciated.

When you make a conscious effort to achieve success in your life, there are going to be people who don’t want you to get ahead for various reasons out of envy, bitterness, fear, or something else. Success can bring out these feelings because not everyone has the drive to better the circumstances in their life. It is important to remember that this is their problem, not yours. It is not your job to make these people happy, only to make yourself happy in what you choose to do with your own life.

2. Release excuses while being accountable for your actions.

There are truly intelligent and gifted people that will never achieve success in their life because they can’t or won’t stop making excuses and blaming others. When an opportunity presents itself, you must seize that opportunity to the fullest and remember that only you can make it happen. Blaming others for your problems and making excuses will never yield positive outcomes…ever.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we innately know that we’ve been guilty at this at one time or another. The problem with this is that we disempower ourselves from what can become ours if we take ownership of what needs to be done. Work hard, own up, and have the resolve to drive forward without making excuses or shifting blame onto other people.

3. Release big mistakes and failures of the past.

We’ve all made mistakes and failed at some point in our lives, some more often than others. It bears repeating: there is absolutely nothing that can be done about these past failures…what’s done is done. The belief that “You can judge a person’s future by their past” is a false one that can be accepted as truth if we are not careful.

Walt Disney is a tremendous American success story who created a multi-billion dollar entertainment empire. He also was a notorious failure and mistake-maker at one point, being fired by a news editor and bankrupting his first animation company.

Richard Branson, the billionaire communications mogul, lost hundreds of millions of dollars before creating one of the largest communication brands in the entire world.

Steven Spielberg was rejected twice by the University of Southern California and went to a much less-prestigious college… before becoming perhaps the most famous film directors in history.

Does anyone ever mention these people’s mistakes and failures? No. It’s what you choose to make out of your life despite failing that defines you.

4. Release past pain and trauma.

Sometimes the word “difficulty” does not truly do justice to things we’ve experienced in the past. Some of us have experienced significant pain and even trauma from things that have happened to us.

The inherent problem in reliving pain and trauma is that it can derail the efforts to better your life. You’ll never fully embrace the present or future possibilities without relieving yourself of these psychologically-damaging thoughts. While you may never forget what has happened, you can still lead a successful, abundant life despite of having gone through tremendous difficulty.

Kevin Spacey, the outstanding Emmy and Oscar award-winning actor epitomizes success while facing past pain and trauma. His father was a full-time Nazi party member and pornographer who reportedly sexually abused his own children. Understandably, Spacey experienced severe mental and emotional damage by this. He was so distraught by his father’s actions that he took his mother’s maiden name as his own, forever cutting off any ties to his father.

While certainly an extreme example, it shows that resolve in the face of pain or trauma can overcome anything.

5. Release insecurity.

As with most other deeply rooted beliefs, insecurity can be tough to overcome, but it can be overcome. That being said, don’t worry about what others think of you. Again, this is their problem, not yours. Anyways, most people are far too encumbered with their own lives to really think about you much.

If you believe that you’re a strong, capable person of immense value, nothing that anyone else thinks can change that…unless you let them. Insecurity is a state of mind, but so is boldness and confidence. Hold your head high, believe in yourself, and others are more likely to hold you in high regard.

6. Release jealousy and resentment.

Who, at one point or another, has held feelings of jealousy or resentment? (Raises hand). Yes, jealousy and resentment are common human emotions, but ones that are disempowering and energy-sapping.

Further, jealousy and resentment are irrational, unproductive thoughts that do absolutely nothing positive for us. This is especially true when attempting to achieve any type of goal of measure of success. Resenting someone else because of their success or accomplishment is weak thinking and counterproductive. Instead, try to appreciate that they achieved success through hard work, determination and sacrifice, which they most likely did.

We can all learn from people that have been successful instead of harboring negative feelings. Try to build a relationship with and build your social circle around such people. Success breeds success, and you’ll likely find a good person that will provide some motivation and encouragement for you to achieve your goals.

9 Reasons to Stop Seeking Approval From Others

December 5, 2014 by Power of Positivity

When you seek approval from others, you add an unnecessary step to the decision-making process. You invite scrutiny from people who really can’t comment on your life because they haven’t lived it. You essentially give up your power to another person.

Why should others get to determine your life plans?

Why Do Some People Seek Approval From Others?

Humans are inherently social creatures. Evolutionarily, our survival and success depend on our ability to function well within a group. If you were accepted and valued by the group, you had a better chance of survival and sharing resources. If you were ostracized or rejected, survival became significantly more challenging.

This evolutionary heritage has made the need for social acceptance and approval deeply ingrained in our psychology. Several psychological factors come into play:

Self-worth and Self-esteem: How others see us often influences our perception of our self-worth. When people receive positive feedback or approval, it reinforces a positive self-image. Conversely, negative feedback can lower self-esteem.
Social Comparison Theory posits that people evaluate their abilities and opinions by comparing themselves to others. Gaining approval often means one is doing “better” in comparison, which can be a source of happiness and satisfaction.
Belongingness Hypothesis: This is rooted in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The theory suggests that the need for belonging is a fundamental human motivation. People have a basic need to feel closely connected to others, and seeking approval is one way to strengthen these connections.
Validation of Beliefs: When others approve of our actions or beliefs, it reinforces the notion that we are on the right path. This validation reduces uncertainty and cognitive dissonance.
Conditioning: From childhood, many people are conditioned to seek approval. Positive reinforcement (like getting a gold star in school or praise from parents) can make individuals repeat behaviors that garner approval.
Fear of Rejection: At the same time, negative consequences from a lack of approval or outright disapproval can lead to a fear of rejection. This fear can drive people to seek approval to avoid these negative feelings continually.

In essence, seeking approval from others can be tied back to our evolutionary roots, fundamental psychological needs, and societal conditioning. While seeking external validation can provide short-term boosts to our happiness, long-term contentment often requires a balance between seeking external approval and cultivating intrinsic self-worth.

9 Things to Remember if You Seek the Approval of Others

Remember the following facts the next time you seek approval to refocus on why it isn’t necessary.

You are the One in Control of Your Life

Next time you have the urge to get permission from someone to follow through with a plan, remind yourself that you are the one in control. You can seek all the guidance you need from within by listening to your heart and following your passions. Others are often unsure about their life path, much less yours. Ultimately, you have all the power you need to take charge of your life. You are the driver of your soul; you know where to turn and what roads to take already. Trust in yourself and the Universe to guide you along your unique path.

You are in Charge of Your Own Happiness

Others can add to your happiness, but you shouldn’t depend on others’ opinions on it. Seeking happiness in others often results in disappointment because others may disagree with your plans. They may dismiss them and not understand what you truly want or believe in your dreams.

You empower yourself when you look to yourself as your beacon of hope, light, and happiness. You stop letting things or people outside yourself control your destiny and remember that happiness comes from within. Others can let you down, but you can never let yourself down if you remain true to your innermost desires in life.

Seeking Approval from Others is Time-Consuming

Think of how many other things you could be doing besides arguing with people about your plans and trying to get them to see through your eyes? To be honest, some people may never understand you or even try to see things your way. Asking others for approval adds a superfluous step to making a decision.

Instead of relying on others to support you, support yourself. If you have a burning desire to travel the world, go. You can tell others of your plans, but leave it at that. You don’t need their approval if you support your decision already. Time is precious, so use it to make your heart happy instead of convincing others to agree with every decision you make.

Freedom Comes When you Depend Solely on Yourself

Imagine how it would feel to make a big decision about your life all by yourself. Believe it or not, you have the strength to carry out your plan without others’ permission.

Next time you feel inclined to receive counsel from family/friends about your next big move, try to set your plan into action first. Don’t feel like you have to inform everyone when you make decisions; you can save a lot of headaches and gain freedom when initiating change by yourself. You are the creator and master of your life – never forget that. You have the power to transform your life all by yourself; all you have to do is believe it. True freedom awaits us when we rise to our potential and let go of our need to please everyone, which brings us to the next point…

You Can’t Please Everyone, So Don’t Even Try

Not everyone will agree with you all the time. Maybe no one will agree with your plan besides you, and that’s okay. Being a people-pleaser usually makes everyone happy except you; you’re the most essential part of the equation.

Everything stems from you – the quality of your relationships, your thoughts about life, what career you choose, etc. If you make major life decisions with everyone but you in mind, you will never find true happiness.

For example, if you took a high-paying job as a Marketing Director at a huge company just because your parents wanted you to, but you absolutely hated it, what good does this do for you? If you can’t come home at the end of the day and say you’re happy, nothing else matters. None of it is the money, your parent’s approval, your title or your status. Do what makes you happy. Others can either choose to encourage you or rain on your parade. Remember that others’ unhappiness with your life is not your responsibility to fix; everyone is in charge of their own.

You Get to Know Yourself Better

There is no relationship more important than the relationship you have with yourself. Looking to your inner self for guidance and wisdom will help you better understand who you are and what you want out of life. Take some time to tune in. So block out everyone else’s voices attempting to control your life and listen to your inner guide. By breaking the habit of approval-seeking, you can focus on figuring yourself out and learn to trust in your path rather than putting that responsibility on others.

You Drain Yourself of Valuable Energy

Not only does approval-seeking waste time, but it wastes energy as well. Energy makes up everything in this vast Universe, including you. If you want to use that energy most efficiently, cut out unnecessary actions. If you want to keep the fire alive and genuinely transform your life, you must dismiss the need to gain outside approval for your decisions.

Asking for Approval Could Discourage you From Following Your Heart

Let’s pretend that you want to drop out of college and travel the world on a quest to find yourself. Do you first worry about how you think others will react? If this truly resonates with you, you will never know unless you try, and you will forever wonder where life would’ve gone had you only listened to that inner calling.

Don’t let others kill your dreams before they become a reality. Confess your desires yourself and trust that your inner voice directs you to the right path.

Seeking Approval From Others Promotes Fear

When you seek approval from others, you begin to form expectations of what they will say. You start thinking about how the conversation will go if they don’t agree with you, and you become anxious about their response. Fear only holds you back, but love will set you free. If you genuinely love yourself and feel assured in your life, you won’t even think twice about giving up the need for acceptance. We have been conditioned to fear many things – other people, their opinions of us, trying new things, listening to new ideas, and much more.

Final Thoughts on the Human Desire to Ask for Approval

Remember that fear is just an illusion. Give into who you indeed are, which is abundant and unconditional Love, and you will realize the limitless power within that greatly surpasses the power of others’ opinions.

21 Small Ways to Love Big In Your Relationships

December 3, 2014 by Kristen Butler

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen

The effects of giving and receiving love in a relationship can throw us some pretty big challenges in life. So colossal sometimes, that they can rarely be solved all at once. No matter how big the challenge may be. However, the best way to succeed is through a series of small, measurable steps.

First and foremost, it’s important to remember that love always needs to be nurtured. It develops deeper and deeper as it is fostered by small, loving steps. Authentic, lasting relationships are rarely created overnight. Love takes time.

Creating a successful relationship is a lot like building a home. First, you inspect and familiarize yourself with the land and decide if it’s the right place to build. When you’ve found the perfect spot, it’s time to begin building a strong and sturdy foundation. Each brick, slab of wood, wall, window, and ceiling are carefully placed with long term intention. Even after the home is built, there is specific care and maintenance that needs to be done for proper upkeep of the home. Without it, the interior and exterior start to break down.

That’s why the real secret to great love can be found in the loving small steps of your daily routine. In fact, many of them are free, it just take conscious effort. Try a few of these regularly to see a boost in your relationships and love life.

21 Small Ways to Love big:

1. Give more hugs!

Studies show hugs release oxytocin that reduces stress, relieves pain, eases anxiety and boosts your immune system. This is a simple, free action we can take every day to bring more love and wellness to our partner.

2. Give your partner more of your full attention, especially if they ask for it.

3. Complain less and compliment more.

4. Admit your mistakes.

5. Give a genuine “Thank You” more often.

Let daily gratitude for your partner flow naturally. Gratitude now creates more to be thankful for later. Which will naturally create a more loving relationship.

6. Be open minded about his/her ideas.

7. Focus on their needs first.

8. Say “I Love You” a few times a day.

9. Laugh together.

10. Make their favorite meal.

11. Allow them to have their own space when they need it.

12. Send a random, love-filled text message or Facebook message.

13. Cuddle and/or have sex more.

Just like hugging, studies have found cuddling to create the same effect on the body. Studies also find that couples who have sex more often

14. Be honest.

15. Plan occasional weekend getaways. Plan them together unless your partner loves spontaneity, then randomly surprise them.

16. Be their biggest fan! Encourage them to do well and keep them going in the areas they want to see the most success. We can all benefit from outside support. Successful people always have huge support that has helped them along the way.

17. Hold hands any chance you get.

18. Listen and be more conscious.

Pay attention to those little annoyances your partner asks you to be mindful of like putting the toilet seat down, picking up your clothes, putting dishes away, keeping your word, etc. Fine-tuning some of the daily little habits that can spark a big argument can really make a big difference.

19. Do a household chore that your partner usually does (pick one they don’t like for extra points).

20. Plan a random, romantic date.

21. Get them a small, thoughtful gift.

It could even be something they were saying they wish they had or needed to pick up (but haven’t yet).

BONUS: Be Generous. A study found that generosity between couples is a key element to their happiness.

Join the Conversation:
Do something that isn’t on the list? We’d like to hear about it . . .

What small thing do you and your partner do for each other regularly that has enhanced your relationship?

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!