Manipulation is the name of the game when you’re in a relationship with a con-artist. A con-artist is what we now call someone who used to be called a confidence artist. Let’s look at 10 telling signs that you’re in a relationship with a con-artist.
10 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Con-Artist
1. You have low self-esteem
A con artist often looks for an easy target. Someone who already has low self-esteem is an easy mark for them. They will use your low self-esteem to their advantage by telling you that they would love you more if ___. Do yourself a favor and leave this person immediately. True love is not conditional.
2. Your romance swept you off your feet at first
Because they needed your undying devotion to them in order to rip you off, your con artist was a great romancer at the beginning of your relationship. However, things have changed now and there has been very little romantic action lately.
3. Your gut instinct is trying to send you a signal
That ‘Hmm, that was weird’ gut feeling happens more often to you in your relationship with a con artist than it ever did otherwise. Pay attention to that feeling because it’s sending you a signal that something’s wrong.
4. They have borrowed money from you and repaid it
A story on Cosmopolitan.com shared by a woman who withheld her name reveals that a con artist will often make sure to gain your trust before breaking it. This anonymous woman eventually lost over $11,000 to her con artist boyfriend.
The first time he used her credit card, he repaid her quickly. By doing this, he was able to gain her trust to use it in the future.
5. The con-artist keeps you from seeing your friends and family
Someone rational who is removed form the relationship has the power to open your eyes to what is really happening with the con-artist’s behavior. As a result, the con-artist in your life will try to keep you from seeing these people who are a threat to their game. Do not let someone tell you who you can and cannot spend time with.
6. Your relationship is one-sided
You are probably giving more to your partner than you are receiving. This can be in the form of love, emotional support, gifts, money, or time. If your partner does not reciprocate as often as you’d like them to, it could be a sign that you’re in a relationship with a con-artist.
7. You lack control over your life
If your con-artist has done a good job, they will take power away from you. You do not control the money, vehicles or power in the relationship. If you have to ask permission to go anywhere or buy anything, it is a warning sign that you’re in a relationship with a con artist.
8. You are a giver by nature
The types of victims that con-artists look for are those in healing, nurturing, and socially responsible people. You want to help your fellow man and your con-artist is going to claim to need your help. They have targeted you based on your generous personality.
9. Conflicting stories don’t add up
Catching a con-artist in a lie means that they have to create another lie to cover their tracks. A con-artist is basically a narcissist and a sociopath; they only care about themselves and they do not feel sorry for their actions that hurt someone else.
In fact, a good con-artist is so good at avoiding feelings of guilt that they will often blame the victim for making them act this way. Author Tamar Frankel who wrote The Ponzi Scheme Puzzle: A History and Analysis of Con Artists and Victims says of con-artists: ‘They have an ego that can’t afford to be repentant, so they blame others. They blame the government, they blame the law, and they blame the victims. They also justify what they do as a protective measure’if they don’t cheat others, others will cheat them first.’
10. You have trouble remembering the last time you felt at peace
All of the drama created by living with a con artist can wreck havoc on your emotional state. You likely have been feeling feel fear, anger and sadness more often than you feel moments of joy. Your con artists likes keeping you in an unhappy emotional state because you can be more easily manipulated that way.
According to fraudaid.com, only about 7% of scam victims report the crime. If you believe that your con-artist has stolen from you, do not be afraid to contact police to report the crime. A police trail may be one of the only ways to prevent other people from falling victim to this person’s games.