“Chemistry is like those perfume ads, the ones that look so interesting and mysterious but you don’t even know at first what they’re even selling. Or those menus without the prices. Mystery and intrigue are going to cost you…What I’m saying is, chemistry is a place to start, not an end-point.” – Deb Caletti
Attraction. Mutual interests. Novelty. Excitement. Chemistry. Everything just seems so right, doesn’t it? We’re talking about the “perfect date/person/soulmate,” of course. It’s natural, even expected, that our stomachs will flutter at the thought of loving someone for the rest of their life.
Things do seem right…at least for the time being.
But all those emotions mentioned prior – attraction, mutual interests, novelty and excitement – do eventually fade to some degree. This leaves chemistry, the underlying emotional equation that either progresses or regresses during any relationship.
Some of us (including this writer) have “fallen” for the wrong person based on perceived “chemistry.” Some have had, and continue to have, a long relationship with someone that is not right for them. Some have married that person; had children with that person with someone that is not right for them.
In most cases, incompatible people simply part ways during the dating process. Even then, money is spent, time is “wasted,” and people (potentially) get hurt. Many times – in the case of a long-term relationship – the ability to trust a potential mate is damaged.
Why does this happen? Because they’re a different “type,” more specifically, an incompatible type. Which brings us to the topic of this article: types of partners to never tolerate.
Here are 5 such types of partners to never tolerate:
1. “The (Always) Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorette”
The Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorette is generally a person that is relatively put together. They’re often attractive, intelligent, polite, successful and well-spoken. It’s hard to understand why someone hasn’t grabbed this gem a long (long…) time ago.
When asked about their long-term singlehood, they’ll often give the cliché answer of “I just haven’t found the right person.” Of course, this response can intrigue the senses of the other person…what if they’re the “right person?” This thought process is all well and good until the realization hits that no one is the “right person.”
A telltale sign that someone fits this description is the unwillingness to introduce the other person to anyone close to them, such as friends or family. Or, if they remain hush-hush about previous relationships.
2. “The Mooch”
In the context of an intimate relationship, money often isn’t that big of an issue. Most of us are generous, and willing to give something to help someone out whom we care for.
Then it happens again…and again…and again after that. Have they paid for anything, ever?
Ladies and gentlemen, meet “The Mooch.” This lover of greenbacks is all-too-willing to let their date/partner pick up the tab on, well, just about everything. Infuriatingly, The Borrower also constantly makes half-hearted excuses to why they can’t fork over some cash, even if they’re able.
The Borrower is perhaps the easiest one to spot on this list; which is simply because they’ve never been observed reaching for a bill/purse/wallet.
3. “The Mama’s Boy/Daddy’s Girl”
Listen…we all love our mom’s and dad’s. For many of us, the price that our parents paid for us is a debt that can never be repaid.
But there’s love, and then there’s immaturity.
When someone’s date/partner’s parents can’t resist wriggling their hands into the relationship cookie jar, there’s a problem. When someone’s date/partner is accepting of this type of behavior, there is a very serious problem. When someone’s date/partner expects this type of behavior, we’re dealing with a Mama’s Boy/Daddy’s Girl.
Odds are that interfering in the relationship isn’t the only annoyance, either. These types of people generally allow the actions of their parents to override any notion of individual choice.
Really…does anything else need to be said? Maybe one thing: this is a terrible person to be in a serious relationship with.
4. “The Egomaniac”
There is nothing wrong with a bit of self-adulation. Many of us have worked very hard to earn our lot in life, and we want to gloat a bit. “The Egomaniac,” our next type, seems deserving of such a privilege; they’re often successful, hard-working, intelligent and accomplished.
But many of this type engage in a sort of “self-worship.” They’re someone always pontificating about accomplishments, intelligence, superiority, etc. Even if some of that self-glossing is true, it is entirely inappropriate.
To make matters worse, The Egomaniac will often downplay the other’s accomplishments to feel superior in some way. Since an intimate relationship encompasses a sense of mutual respect and appreciation, it is not difficult to understand why being close to The Egomaniac would be incessantly frustrating.
5. “The Control Freak”
Perhaps no other attribute is more unattractive than a penchant for attempting to control another person. The mischievous aspect is that “The Control Freak” will deliberately convey an outward sense of security and acceptance, only to eventually reveal their true colors.
Their controlling ways extend from the small to the significant; from choosing which restaurant to patron, to which house to buy (it happens!). More disturbing, The Control Freak meticulously demands the whereabouts and details for periods of time where the other person is not within their immediate company.
Someone that is controlling innately lacks the ability to trust their partner. A lack of trust, plus a tendency to “micromanage” their partner’s life, equals someone that is not worth the pain.