You deserve more from your relationship if you are less than blissfully happy right now. Being unsatisfied in your relationship means that your current level of happiness with your partner is not meeting your expectations.
This doesn’t mean that you need to leave your partner, it means that you need to evaluate your expectations, ask for what you need, and work with your partner to make sure that you are getting all of your needs met.
You deserve more from your relationship if you feel like your needs aren’t being met. Let’s look at the signs that you deserve more from your relationship and some ways to get it.
10 Signs You Deserve More From Your Relationship
1. You haven’t cuddled in months
Cuddling releases the hormone oxytocin, which is why it has been given the nickname ‘the cuddle hormone.’ Oxytocin is released when mothers nurse their infants and when humans who care for each other are touching and in close contact with each other.
Your craving for oxytocin is perfectly natural. Going without it is like going on a crash diet where you starve yourself. Physical touch is important to create a bond of trust, intimacy and emotional well-being. If you need more touch, ask for it.
2. You feel insecure about your partner
Feeling insecure is different from actually being insecure. Your relationship is not secure if your partner has already threatened to leave or is taking action to exit the relationship. Feeling like your partner is going to leave or worrying about it when there is no evidence that they are considering leaving is another type of insecurity.
Psychologists studying adult attachment style in romantic relationships have identified three styles; secure, anxious-ambivalent (fears rejection and wants security), or avoidant (emotionally distant). These attachment styles have to do with how we feel about our partner’s ability to meet our needs. Those with anxious-ambivalent and avoidant attachment styles in relationships feel less secure with their partners.
In a study of 118 male and female college students, people who had either the anxious-ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles also had more irrational beliefs about their relationship than those with a secure adult attachment style. People who worried about their partner leaving them had lower overall relationship satisfaction.
3. You give more than you get
Some people are just naturally more giving than others and they enjoy doing it. If your partner takes advantage of your giving nature, you can feel like your relationship is out of balance.
A one-sided relationship is what you’re in if you give more to your partner. You deserve someone who can anticipate your needs. Your romantic partner should be able to at least provide for your basic mental and emotional needs.
4. Your partner doesn’t express gratitude
Being taken for granted is a sign that you deserve more from your relationship.
Researchers in the European Journal of Personality studied people who stayed in relationships compared to those who left. They found that ‘Being dependable rather than being dependent seemed to be a protective factor for relationship continuation.’
In other words, being able to manage their own well-being away from their partner helped them to feel more self-reliance. Being self-reliant helped people to stick it out in a relationship where they felt unappreciated by their partner.
5. You take the lead most of the time
If not for you, you would be homebodies who never went out, never had plans with friends and never celebrated a birthday or anniversary. You are the one always making plans and your partner is along for the ride.
6. Your partner spends a lot of time away
Being around your partner is the highlight of your day, but your partner doesn’t seem to feel the same way. At least that’s how you feel when they spend a lot of their time on other activities with other people.
7. You are excluded from family events
Your partner should treat you as a priority in all things, including family events. You are your partner’s most important family member and they need to treat you as such. Feeling left out is a sign you deserve more from your relationship.
8. Your partner doesn’t act accountable
Your partner should be able to admit when they were wrong and choose to act differently in the future. You may find that you are saying ‘I’m sorry’ more often than your partner does after a fight.
9. You daydream often
Your future that you fantasize about doesn’t have your partner in it. The reason is that you don’t see your partner supporting you in your ideal future so your daydreams don’t include them either.
10. You’re feeling resentful
When the balance of power in your relationship is tilted away from your favor, you begin to feel anger and resentment that your partner has it better than you do.