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10 Signs A Man Is Going to Leave A Relationship

October 20, 2018 by Power of Positivity

The decision to leave a relationship is never an easy one to make. That’s why a lot of people might wind up staying in a relationship longer than they want to. In other words, a man might be thinking of leaving his relationship long before the break-up bomb is ever dropped!

No one wants to be the partner of someone who only plans to leave a relationship. But a lot of thought has to be put into the act of splitting up from someone you love. This could be why a man might take a while to solidify his decision.

This is why spotting and noticing little signs in advance that a break-up is on the horizon might be useful. It can give a partner time to prepare and process the information, and even open up the floor for discussion. Here are some signs a man is going to leave his relationship.

Here Are 10 Signs A Man Is Going To Leave A Relationship

“People don’t leave because things are hard, they leave because they realize it’s no longer worth it.” – Anonymous

1. Everyday talk is dying in the relationship.

If your boyfriend no longer tells you about his day, he could be planning to leave his relationship. Men will enjoy talking to you and getting things off their chest when they are comfortable with you. If he stops thinking of you as someone he just might spend his life with, this can change.

This also applies if he no longer asks about your day. Or he might ask but seem bored or disinterested at your response. He might obviously not pay attention when you speak. These are all red flags to take notice of!

You may also notice that your boyfriend stays more quiet around you. He does not want to talk much, and you end up needing to start and carry all of the conversation. This could be a dead giveaway that this man is going to leave a relationship soon.

2. His mood is constantly bad around you.

No one wants to hang around a downer, but that’s all he’s been lately. Perhaps he gets snappish around you. Or he seems down or upset when you’re on dates together. He gets angry much more easily than he once did. These are all red flags.

It doesn’t have to be as extreme as him always being sad or angry. You might have also just noticed a drop in mood that has you concerned – especially if that mood change doesn’t seem to have anything to do with other areas of his life.

Every individual goes through five stages of thought when they want to leave a relationship. If he’s at a stage where he’s realizing he’s unhappy, his mood is a pretty good indicator.

3. Avoiding outings means he might leave a relationship.

A man in love will do crazy things for his partner. He’ll go to events he hates or he’ll ditch a boy’s night to spend the evening with you on the couch. He’ll even tag along to brunch with the girls if you ask nicely enough.

Then, suddenly, getting your boyfriend to go out with you is nearly impossible. He doesn’t want to spend time together on dates. He refuses to go to dinner with your friends. You’re stuck hanging out alone all the time.

The worst part? If he does head out for a night on the town, you’re not invited. Suddenly, he’s only leaving the house to hang out with friends. When he has a big event coming up, he doesn’t add you as his +1. These all point to trouble in paradise; he might leave his relationship.

Since studies show that relationships alter one’s sense of self, this makes sense. If your boyfriend is avoiding outings with you, he might be trying to separate his sense of self from you. This is so he can become his own person again and leave his relationship.

4. He no longer talks about the relationship’s future.

When a relationship is fresh, you’ll be looking towards the future with positive eyes. If you have a committed, long-term boyfriend, then you’ve likely discussed the future a few times. You may have talked about going on a vacation in a few months. You may have discussed how many kids you’ll have.

Whatever it is, if you’ve talked about it before and he’s reluctant to discuss it now, it’s a sign he wants to leave the relationship. The reason for talking about a future with you might be hard is because he doesn’t see you in his future anymore.

5. Decrease in intimacy is a sure sign he will leave a relationship.

While not all men are sexual creatures by nature, a huge majority of them are. So when your intimate life with him starts going downhill, it’s definitely time to sit up and take notice.

This might happen in the form of fewer intimate moments and your boyfriend being in the mood much less often. It might happen because intimacy feels more like a routine than an exciting bonding experience. And it might occur when a man stops caring about your pleasure as much as his own.

Whichever way this drop in intimate-positive behavior manifests, it usually means trouble is brewing. When even your flashiest lingerie doesn’t get him going, it might be time to sit down and ask him what the matter is.

6. He gets annoyed with seemingly small things.

It’s actually possible to scientifically predict when a man is going to leave a relationship. He will begin to associate more negative things with you. This means he might get more irritated by things you do or say, even when they seem very minor.

This might hurt even more if there are things he used to love about you that he now seems to hate. It might be anything as simple as your shiny nail polish. It might be something as heartbreaking as him getting annoyed by your laugh.

Whatever it is, it’ll be obvious, and you’re not going to like it. It’s important to note when this happens that this isn’t your fault. Your mannerisms aren’t inherently annoying. He’s just starting to associate you with negative things, which is a major bad sign.

7. You’re the last to know anything about him.

That new promotion he just got at work? You had no idea he was even gunning for it. The exciting game he’s wanted to play has finally been released? You’re positive he’s never mentioned it.

This is even worse if everyone else seems to know about this news before you do. That means he’s no longer readily including you in a discussion about his plans. This might be because he doesn’t foresee you being around for most of them.

8. He makes jokes about leaving his relationship.

We all know that men can be jokers. Sometimes, they take their comedic attempts a little too far. But the fact is that there is always a shred of truth in every bit of humor.

Humor and comedy are great for positive thinking, but when they’re about such negative things, they can take a toll on you. They might be jokes about how he’s going to leave you after the month is up. Or, they could be offhand comments that he wants to be intimate with someone else.

A couple of jokes in bad taste don’t necessarily mean it’s all over. It could just be good fun. Still, if those jokes start being told far too often for your liking, it could mean trouble in paradise.

9. He fights too much – or not at all.

Picking fights constantly is a universally acknowledged bad sign. But fighting too little can be just as bad. It means putting the effort to solve a problem just doesn’t seem worth it to him, since it will all be over soon, anyway.

According to John Gottman, who is a professor of psychology with the University of Washington, stonewalling during a fight signals an unwillingness to talk about the root problem. Why could this be happening? Because he doesn’t see much of a point to it anymore.

10. He acts immature to make his partner leave a relationship.

Yes, sometimes, on a bad day, a man can act immature. But you know your boyfriend always comes through with a proper apology – until now.

If your man has been a mean or hurtful person towards you lately, he may have already decided that he wants to leave his relationship, but he doesn’t know how. So what he’s doing instead is getting you to dislike him enough to end the relationship yourself.

This reverse psychology can be annoying, no doubt. But this could be a man’s way of trying not to hurt you. He knows breaking up with you directly will cause you pain, so he hopes if you do it, it will sting less on your end.

Final Thoughts On Why Men Leave A Relationship

There are so many signs that could point to a break-up right around the corner. Of course, these are not 100% guaranteed, either. This is because a man might be going through some troubles in his life that lead to these behaviors being performed.

So while it’s good to keep a lookout for the signs a man might leave a relationship, practice positive thinking. Strike up a conversation with your partner instead of accusing him point blank. You never know – there might be a chance you can save your romance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT0Oyg07U6Q

5 Ways Essential Oil Can Clean Your Home Better Than Cleaning Products

October 20, 2018 by Power of Positivity

You may already be well-educated on the ways essential oils can benefit your health and mood. Those are not the only uses for essential oils. They are amazing tools to clean your home with. Boost the cleaning and deodorizing power of your homemade cleaners by adding essential oils. However, let’s face it—when life gets busy, cleaning can quickly fall to the bottom of the to-do list.

This is where Shine On Cleaning Services can save you time and eliminate stress. While using essential oils in your homemade cleaners is a great way to maintain a fresh space, sometimes you need a little extra help to keep up with the demands of everyday life. Shine On Cleaning Services offers professional cleaning that guarantees every surface is not only spotless but also safe and healthy for you and your family.

Whether you want to maintain a fresh, naturally scented home or need a deep clean to tackle the tough spots, their team can handle it all. With their expertise, you’ll have more time to focus on what truly matters, leaving the cleaning to the professionals who make your home sparkle.

There are many uses for an essential oil when cleaning your home. They can be used in any room of your home. They are non-toxic and all-natural, so you do not have to worry about your pets or children.

5 Genius Essential Oil Hacks to Clean Your Home

1. Make Laundry Fresher

Enhancing the scent of your laundry detergent or dryer sheets are great ways to use an essential oil. When you wash your baby’s clothes, add a few drops of lavender oil will help keep the baby calm and relaxed. Essential oils are non-toxic and all natural. They are better than commercially purchased scent boosting crystals or sheets, and the scent of essential oils last much longer. Seek 2ULaundry services if you don’t have the time or equipment to do your own laundry.

2. Clean Carpets With Natural Ingredients

When it comes to your floors, especially carpeted surfaces, cleaning can be a serious chore. Smells get trapped in those surfaces. Just as easily, stains can take over and leave your carpet looking less than desirable. That’s where a reliable service like Happy Feet Carpet Cleaning Charlotte, known for its thorough and effective cleaning methods, comes in.

Hiring a cleaning company is extremely costly. Most commercial cleaning products contain many harmful chemicals. Your cleaning efforts may seem counterproductive when you use those types of cleaners to clean your carpet. You would be adding harmful chemicals to the world that is ruled by your pets and children. If you live in the Ann Arbor area, Healthy Carpets cleans our carpets and upholstery twice a year.

If you want a more Earth-friendly way to clean your carpet, consider using a mix of baking soda and an essential oil. First, you should thoroughly vacuum your floor to remove any surface dirt. Next, mix together two cups of baking soda with ten drops of your favorite oil. You can combine oil fragrances as well like tea tree and lemongrass. Once you have created the perfect mixture for you, sprinkle it over the entire surface you wish to clean. Use a brush or sponge to make sure the mixture settles into your carpet. Leave it there for at least two hours then vacuum the area once again.

3. A Friendly Way to Disinfect

Disinfecting is a big job in your home. The kitchen and bathroom areas are highly susceptible to bacteria growth and spread. If you don’t properly clean these areas, you will risk making yourself or your family ill. The same goes for the bathroom toilet and sink areas. The bacteria found in these locations are grotesque. For a natural and fragrant way to clean these areas, look no further than these essential oil hacks. Many oils on their own do not offer the antibacterial power needed to kill everything on contact. Mixing a few together, however, can give you a real bang for your buck. Peppermint and tea tree oil are fantastic and smell very nice together. The same goes for tea tree and orange oils. A mixture of lavender and rosemary oils are absolutely divine. Add some lavender oil with lemongrass oil for a relaxing yet uplifting clean.

4. Control Germ Carrying Pests

If your home has been taken over by ants, cinnamon oil can help take care of that problem. This oil does something to an ant’s nervous system. This prevents them from communicating with other ants as they do when they locate a food or water source. It confuses them, and they eventually disappear. Lemongrass oil is another great way to get rid of ants or other creepy crawly bugs. By mixing 10-20 drops of oil in a few ounces of water and spraying the affected area, you will get rid of any pesky bugs and any nasty germs they may come with.

5. Knock Out Shower Mold With Ease

Another household chore that is grueling at times is cleaning shower mold. This stuff invades your shower and coats almost anything. There are many cleaners on the market you can use to clean this, and they would probably get the job done. But, most of these cleaners have noxious chemicals that are a real hazard to your health. If you breathe them in or get them on your skin, you may need to seek medical attention quickly. There is a better choice to use. This method calls for a 16-ounce bottle filled with warm water. Add four drops each of eucalyptus and tea tree oil. Thoroughly spray your shower and watch the nasty stuff disappear.

These essential oil hacks will help you tackle the worst jobs in your home. The results will be an all-natural clean and scent that lasts for days. Essential oil use is growing in popularity, and you will love it, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeKgaiwOtXo

7 Promises Men Make (But Rarely Keep)

October 20, 2018 by Power of Positivity

There are loads of promises men make when they’re in a relationship. They’ll spew sonnets and sing from the high heavens about the things they will or won’t do. Unfortunately, many of these promises are going to be broken.

No, I’m not saying men are liars! The fact is that a lot of men make promises based on what they think they should do. In other words, if they think a promise will make you happy, they’ll make it – even if it’s not realistic.

A huge number of promises men make that are broken aren’t broken intentionally. Often, they stem from unclear communication or, sometimes, from promises that are simply impossible to keep. Most people in relationships know that the occasional minor broken promise isn’t a deal-breaker. People aren’t perfect, and it happens.(1)

This doesn’t mean, of course, that you should excuse seriously broken promises. What should be developed instead is an understanding that there are some promises that are rather unfair to expect. Here are some promises men make, but rarely keep.

Here Are 7 Promises Men Make, But Rarely Keep

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.” – Peter Drucker

1. Promises about not being jealous

It’s never realistic to say “I promise not to be jealous.” First, if you expect a man to keep this promise, you’re asking him to actively stop himself from feeling a valid emotion. Most of the time, this kind of promise doesn’t work out, but it’s very common among promises men make.

Ralph Hupka, a professor of psychology, states that jealousy is an emotion designed to anticipate and potentially prevent a loss. This means that the initial tug of jealousy isn’t always controllable. Your boyfriend might feel this worry of losing you when he sees you hang out with other male friends. (2)

Instead of making your man promise not to show any signs of jealousy, talk about how he can work through these feelings. Make sure he knows he has no reason to be jealous and that he can trust you 100%. Being open with each other can help squash those feelings. Also, find ways to help him practice reason, logic, and positive thinking as you work through these feelings of jealousy together.

That said, jealousy can potentially evolve into a dangerous, obsessive, and controlling emotion, so it’s important to keep it in check. If a partner’s jealousy devolves into shouting, violence, or controlling behavior, it might be a good idea to leave.

2. Promises men make about checking out other people

Here’s the thing about a guy promising never to check out other girls: it’s probably not possible. We see people every single day, and some of them are nice to look at.

Scientifically, expecting this to be among the promises men make and keep is rather unfair. The act of checking someone out is actually a mainly subconscious response, according to relationship expert David Bennett for Medical Daily. (3)

Think of it from your perspective. If you see an attractive person, you’re going to take notice. Even if you don’t stare or you quickly look away, you noticed, at least for a moment. It’s a natural human response!

In fact, 70% of women admit that they experience attraction to other guys. And most of them say that this does not affect their own relationship in any way! If it’s okay for girls to think this way, shouldn’t it be okay for guys to do so?

Of course, there’s a huge difference between ogling someone and just noticing that they look good. It’s okay to tell your boyfriend you’re uncomfortable when he stares at someone for a long minute. But there’s nothing much wrong with him taking a quick, almost subconscious look and moving on; you’d probably do the same!

Instead of getting angry, discuss what makes you feel jealous or uncomfortable. That way, you and your man can discuss what you’re both okay with and what crosses a line. This can even help to build trust between the two of you!

3. He promises never to judge you no matter what

No matter how much someone loves you, they’ll still at times have opinions opposite to yours. They will, occasionally, think that you’re wrong. It doesn’t mean they won’t love and support you when you need it, but they will might be keeping some thoughts to themselves!

For instance, your boyfriend might never understand the types of video games you’re into. He might not understand why you insist on keeping up a very specific skincare regimen. What is more, he might sometimes express those thoughts. That’s what being with another human being is like!

What it comes down to is that it’s okay for your man to be a little judgey sometimes. All that matters is that he ultimately recognizes that your own thoughts are just as valid as his. Agreeing to disagree is far from a bad thing!

4. Men make promises about exes

There could be many promises men make about their exes. They say they’ll never even think about them. They say they won’t text or contact them. But these promises are easier made than kept!

If you’ve had any relationship in the past, you know thoughts about your ex might creep up. These thoughts don’t define you any more than they define your boyfriend. If your ex texts you politely asking how you are, you’d probably feel inclined to reply equally politely. Catching up is okay to do.

You’ve probably also seen your ex pop up on social media and gave into curiosity about how they are now. Does that mean you’re aching to get back together with them? Usually, not at all; it’s the same for your man. Starting new relationships is actually the biggest key to fully getting over an ex! (4)

Does this make it excusable when men make promises about avoiding their ex, then break them and hide it from you? Of course not. This comes across as shady, no matter the intention. This can cause mistrust to build and result in an ugly argument. It’s never good when your man feels he has something to hide.

Setting boundaries about exes is important in a relationship. Make it clear that your boyfriend should tell you when they talk to their ex; do the same for them. Draw a clear line where something makes you and your boyfriend uncomfortable and don’t cross it.

If your boyfriend tells you when his ex messages him and informs you that he’ll message back, this is a huge sign you can trust him. Instead of banning him from ever talking to his ex, encourage open communication and honesty between the two of you. That makes for a much healthier, positive relationship.

5. Promises to change his ways after a huge fight

Men make promises – lots of them – after a big argument. They’ll say they will turn over a new leaf immediately. They promise to put aside the behaviors that started the fight. A lot of the times, though, you need to be ready for the fact that these promises won’t come out how you expect.

It’s not that a man can’t change. It’s that changing is a process. No one is able to completely change habitual attitudes and actions overnight. When you expect huge changes to happen all at once, you’re expecting something unfair and unrealistic.

So don’t be angry at your partner if he’s taking the long route to get where he’s agreed to go. Instead, take note of small accomplishments and baby steps. If he thrives on positive reinforcement, tell him you notice and appreciate his efforts, and you might see his pace pick up a little!

However, if your boyfriend does not appear to be making any effort to change at all, this is a red flag. You should be able to see small steps being taken in the right direction. If he’s not even trying, get out of there!

6. Promises men make about hiding things

Men always say they will never hide anything from you, but they don’t always follow through. To be clear, there’s a big difference between a dishonest relationship and a relationship with healthy personal boundaries.

Sometimes, your boyfriend might have some personal thoughts about his life that he needs to process on his own. He might have a friend or family member who is sick or who he lost. Try not to take it personally if he doesn’t talk about these things right away. He might need time to think about them before he’s ready to talk about them.

According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, boundaries are crucial in a relationship. Expecting your man to have no boundaries in order to keep a promise he’s made you isn’t healthy. In fact, forcing him to open up when he’s not ready could have a negative effect, rather than causing him to be more open. (5)

At the same time, mistakes that affect the other person shouldn’t ever be hidden – even if confessing will make the other angry. When you do wrong, you have to own up to it and face the music like an adult. But there are other things that get unintentionally hidden, thus accidentally breaking a promise.

If there are things you never want your boyfriend to hide from you, make sure he knows so he can keep them in mind. It’s difficult not to accidentally hide things when you don’t even think they’re worth mentioning!

7. You’ll be together forever and he’ll always love you

We don’t mean to end on a downer, but let’s be realistic here. There is a very, very good chance that your boyfriend means these types of promises with all his heart when he makes them. This is what he wants. He can see a future for the two of you together, and that’s great.

But here’s the thing – no one can predict the future. It’s full of twists and turns. Things can happen, people can change, feelings can alter, and couples can grow apart. Absolutely no one can predict the future and where it’s going, so even the best-laid plans can fall apart.

This isn’t to say you should be a total skeptic, or that you shouldn’t believe your boyfriend truly loves you this much. There’s nothing wrong with positive thinking! This is just to say that you need to be aware that this promise doesn’t guarantee your future together.

Instead, what builds your positive future together is putting in equal effort, being understanding and honest, and having open communication. If you’re both not trying your best in the relationship, all the promises in the world can’t stop a break-up.

Final Thoughts On Promises Men Make But Rarely Keep

Breaking promises in a relationship is not great, obviously. It shows disrespect and can also cause deep hurt. There are many promises that should never be broken. Promises of fidelity. Promises to be better people. Promises to be respectful. Promises to remember important dates. Promises to be there for one another.

But the seven minor promises we’ve talked about today? You probably shouldn’t count on them being kept. What’s more important than those promises men make is understanding why both parties feel these promises are necessary.

Both you and your man should have reasonable expectations for each other. Relationships are a two-way street. In other words, putting the effort in to make it work realistically for both of you is the secret to a happier romance. Communicate, be honest, and work it out. Chances are, you’ll come through stronger for it!

10 Signs He Is the Right One

October 20, 2018 by Power of Positivity

The concept of knowing if he is the right one can sound a little cheesy. But did you know that 73% of Americans believe in the idea of soulmates? And that 74% of men and 71% of women believe they are fated to, one day, find that elusive one true love?

In some scientific ways, soulmates do exist – but not quite in the way you might think! This is according to licensed psychologist Shauna H Springer, who researches lifestyle and relationships. She says that people can become a soulmate to each other over time in a good relationship.

What does this mean? Basically, you might not start out soulmates. But if you and your partner love each other and are in a healthy, positive relationship, you could grow into each other’s soul mates. This is why it’s important to make sure your boyfriend truly is perfect for you. Here are some signs he is the right one!

Here Are 10 Signs He Is The Right One

“When you finally meet the right one for you, it suddenly becomes clear why everyone else was so wrong.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

1. There is open, honest communication between you, always.

There is no way to stress enough just how important honesty and communication are in any relationship. In fights and disagreements, it can be the difference between a romance surviving or crashing and burning.

When you encounter troubles, your goals should be to discuss things and find understanding of each other – not to “win” the argument. This means validating emotions while presenting facts. If you have something to say, if he is the right one, he will listen to you without blowing you off or calling you emotional.

In addition, you know this communication is always honest. You trust what he says and he believes what you say. Additionally, you know that if he ever has a problem with what you’re doing, he will tell you. You won’t be given the silent treatment or be forced to guess what the matter is. That’s a soulmate-type relationship!

2. Your soulmate gets along with your friends and family.

When you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to see its flaws. When you really love someone, it can be difficult to notice red flags. But those outside your relationship don’t wear those rose-colored glasses.

If your closest friends or trusted family members, who care about you genuinely, don’t trust your boyfriend, listen to them. Of course, their word isn’t gospel – but if they’re looking out for you, pay them heed. They might notice something that your rose-tinted glasses hinder you from spotting.

If friends or family express concerns, ask them why they feel this way. Listen to their opinions. If there’s a misunderstanding, you can clear it up quickly. If it’s something more serious, you can reconsider whether your partner is truly your soulmate. If he is the right one for you, your loved ones should be able to see this as well.

3. You always want to share things with him, and he with you.

Whenever you get positive news, you find yourself running to this person the most. Whenever you get negative news, you have the same reaction. For some reason, you feel compelled to share life developments with him – and he feels the same way toward you.

These don’t have to be just big things, either. Maybe you two enjoy trading stories about your day. More importantly, you two enjoy listening to each other’s stories. You will both always have your ears open for the other, even when you’re not very familiar with the subject at hand.

A communicative relationship like this means you both trust each other and can rely on each other. You know you can always come to him with your troubles and he will be there for you – a sure sign of a soulmate!

4. He is supportive, as the right one should be.

You know your boyfriend has your back and you can come to him with anything and everything. You feel confident that he will help you in any way that he can, and you know you would do the same for him.

This can come in the form of him listening to your problems, or by helping you out physically in any way he can. He might help whittle down your to-do list when you’re too busy. He’ll do extra chores when you’re having a bad day.

Support is crucial in long-lasting relationships. Analysis of 1,100 studies on relationships revealed that helping each other out in a variety of ways is how couples are able to stay together. So if your boyfriend is the right one for you, he should be helping you where he can, and you, him.

5. He takes the time to plan things

A man who eagerly puts in the effort to plan dates to your liking isn’t rare, but it is appreciated. But planning doesn’t just apply to dates. It also applies to more serious, complicated, and important events.

You’ll want a partner who regularly brings out his planner to help you figure out an upcoming vacation. He will help sort out the grocery list and organize your errand day. He will surprise you with an outing every now and then and it shows that he put lots of thought into it. That’s a keeper!

This is because planning is a management activity. Many individuals make the mistake of believing that managerial tasks like this are easy. If he’s doing his half of the planning, he’ll likely do his half of the chores and labor, too. And who doesn’t want that in a soulmate?

6. You’ve seen each other at your worst and you love each other nonetheless.

This doesn’t just mean you can be as dressed down as possible and still find each other attractive. (That is a lovely relationship dynamic, though!) It applies to more than just the superficial, and it’s about more than just appearances.

Your boyfriend has seen you at your lowest, ugliest points. He’s seen you when you’re cracking under pressure. He has seen how you shout when you’re angry. He’s known what it’s like to be with you when you’re grieving. And he is still here, and still loves you unconditionally.

This is a sure sign that the love runs deep. If he’s already seen you in those situations and has continued to stand by your side, he might just be the right one that you’ve sought! Do note this means you should also love him at his worst, too!

7. He’s openly said that you are the right one – and he acts like it.

Sometimes, people can be frightened of commitment. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people – it just means they might not be ready to even think about the “right one” yet at all. So a partner who tells you he loves you wants to be with you forever is on the right track!

Of course, people can say things they don’t mean. That’s why he has to act like it, too. Don’t tolerate someone who can talk the talk but not walk the walk! But if your boyfriend follows through on his big words, then believe him: if you’re his soulmate, and you feel the same way, it’s a match made in heaven.

8. He has boundaries and respects yours.

This ties in somewhat with communication but is a little different. Many people make the mistake of believing that setting boundaries means the relationship is bad. In reality, boundaries are important in healthy relationships, so you’ll want your soulmate to have them, says clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.

It’s important for partners to ask questions and for permission in order to avoid crossing personal boundaries. Someone who respects that your “yes” means yes and your “no” means no is someone you’ll be happy to date.

Clearly setting boundaries will also allow you both to have healthy discussions instead of shouting matches. This points to a happier long-term life together, not to mention better problem-solving methods.

9. You trust him unconditionally and he proves you can.

You’re never worried that your boyfriend might be cheating. If he’s out late, your first concern is for his safety, not that his getting cozy with someone else. You don’t feel the need to snoop, and if you’re ever worried, you know you can tell him and he’ll show you his phone and emails. (And you’d do the same, of course!)

This doesn’t mean you won’t have intrusive thoughts. Sometimes, you may struggle with your own unfounded feelings of jealousy. But through it all, positive thinking wins over. You know logically that he will never do you wrong.

If you know you can trust your boyfriend no matter what, he’s a keeper. Trust is a key factor in the security of attachment: a clear sign that he could be your soulmate.

10. You just know he’s your soulmate.

Sometimes, you just know. You could have an epiphany one day, or it can be an instinctual tug of the gut. Whatever it is, it will make you realize that this man is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

The voice inside your head is more accurate than you think. Not to be confused with gut instincts, intuition is analytical and intelligent. While not always entirely accurate, following your intuition – especially when you have support from others – can be a fantastic decision.

This isn’t to say you should ignore advice from those who care about you since they’re able to view your relationship from an unbiased perspective. This doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags. It just means that sometimes, the heart knows what’s good for it – and in those times, it’s okay to listen.

Final Thoughts On Signs He Is The Right One

The search for your soulmate can definitely seem daunting. But when you realize that a soulmate can simply be a good person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it becomes easier. You may have met your soulmate already and simply not realized it!

We place a lot of importance on this idea of being “destined” for someone else. At the end of the day, if he treats you well, loves you unconditionally, and exhibits these signs – well, my friend, you might have been lucky enough to find The One!

5 Soups That Flush Inflammation and Belly Fat

October 19, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Every now and then, the body may need a little cleansing and detoxification. With all the different types of food we put into our bodies – many of which aren’t entirely the best options – understandably, a cleanse is necessary every now and then to ensure a positive and healthy immune system. Some people go as far as to go on month-long soup cleanses to get their body back in optimal working condition. But you don’t need to go to those lengths if you don’t want to! Even replacing a meal or two a day for a short while with well-made soups specifically designed for this purpose can help flush out inflammation from the body and even reduce belly fat. Here are some great soups that do just that!

Here Are 5 Soups That Flush Inflammation And Belly Fat

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” – Hippocrates

1. Broccoli soup

This soup is an amazing concoction for detoxification. As a cruciferous vegetable, broccoli can bring down inflammation, prevent the risk of heart disease, and provide antioxidant qualities. Here are some of the ingredients you’ll need:

2 and a half cups of broccoli florets
3 diced stalks of celery
1 diced onion
2 finely chopped, peeled carrots
1 cup of either kale or spinach, depending on your preference
The juice from half a lemon
2 cups of either bone broth or vegetable broth, depending on your preference

To make this delicious soup, start by placing two tablespoons of coconut oil into a pot and heating it. (You can use other oils, but coconut is best!) Toss in the broccoli, celery, and onions, and allow to cook for five minutes, stirring occasionally. Then, add in your broth of choice and allow the soup to simmer for an additional five minutes. Finally, blend the soup with your spinach or kale, lemon juice, and sea salt to taste until it is nice and thick. You can even throw in a couple tablespoons of collagen if you would like!

2. Curry ginger soup with carrots

Ginger is a fantastic food for the digestive system. It soothes nausea, cleanses the system, reduces excess bloat in the belly, and has even been suggested to fight inflammation. For a soup with a nice spicy kick to provide the cleanse you need in a more thorough way, look no further than this one! Here is what you’ll need.

2 or 3 tablespoons of curry powder, depending on your preference
2 tablespoons each of minced ginger and minced garlic
1 pound of baby carrots
Half a can of light coconut milk
1 quart of vegetable broth

Start by placing two tablespoons of some coconut oil alongside the curry powder into a pot and heating it. (You can use other oils, but coconut is best!) Use this to cook up your ginger and garlic. Pour in your broth with the carrots and cook once more. Once the soup mix has reached a boil, allow it to simmer for 25 minutes. Finally, blend it all as you add the coconut milk in slowly!

3. Zucchini and basil soup

Did you know zucchini is technically a fruit? Even so, we typically treat it more like a vegetable, and it’s almost a superfood with all its benefits. It boosts digestion, manages blood glucose, aids in weight loss, and reduces inflammation – all while also boosting heart health! Here’s a great soup to make with this ingredient.

6 zucchinis
1 cup of basil leaves
Half a cup of chopped white onions
3 minced cloves of garlic
1 quart of bone broth, preferably turkey

Using oil of your choice, cook up the onion and garlic for a few minutes. Once you think it’s ready, pour in the zucchinis and broth and allow to cook for about 20 minutes. The soup should be brought to a boil. Then take the pot off the stove and blend the soup with the basil, adding pepper and salt to taste.

4. Red lentil and sweet potato soup

Lentils are great superfoods, so it makes sense that detoxifying soup with this ingredient made it onto our list. Here’s how to make it.

Half a cup of rinsed red lentils
2 large peeled and chopped sweet potatoes
2 large peeled and chopped carrots
1 peeled and chopped apple
1 small chopped white onion
Approximately 1 inch of minced and peeled fresh ginger
Half a teaspoon each of ground cumin, paprika, and chili powder
4 and a half cups of either vegetable or bone broth, depending on your preferences
Coconut cream

Start by warming a quarter cup of oil of your choice (preferably either olive oil, coconut oil, or ghee) over medium heat. Add the potatoes, apple, carrots, and onion, then allow to cook for 10 minutes or until the onions are crystallized. Place your broth, ginger, lentils, cumin, paprika, and chili powder into the mixture. Allow the soup to boil for around 30 minutes, and then blend. Finally, allow to simmer for a couple of minutes. Season with black pepper and sea salt to taste and top the soup with some coconut cream.

5. Carrot and ginger soup

Not to be confused with our curry version of this soup, this wholesome soup has all the benefits of the previous one – and more. Carrots are also known for helping to combat inflammation from arthritis, and the ginger will help your digestive system, promoting belly fat loss. Here are the ingredients for this hearty soup.

2 pounds of chopped carrots
3 tablespoons of freshly grated ginger
2 peeled and chopped onions
3 chopped cloves of garlic
6 cups of either bone or vegetable broth, depending on your preferences
1 cup of coconut milk

Pour the broth with the ginger, carrots, and garlic into a pan. Bring the soup to a boil, then let simmer. At this point, throw in either 2 tablespoons of coconut oil or 2 tablespoons of ghee into the pain along with your onions, mixing until a paste forms. You’ll then want to blend the onions until thick. Add coconut milk, sea salt, onion powder, and black pepper to taste. Optionally, you can throw in some collagen powder or plain protein powder for an extra boost.

Final thoughts

Soup meal diets can be quite difficult to stick to, but with some positive thinking and the help of these delicious, nutritious, feel-good recipes, you’ll be able to stick to your cleanse plan and see fantastic results quickly. These soups will help get rid of inflammation and bust belly fat while also boosting liver, kidney, digestive system, lymphatic system, and lung performance. They help your skin look great and help you to feel great. Try some of them and you might be surprised by the results!

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Have Kids

October 19, 2018 by Power of Positivity

One of the most important questions you will ask yourself as you make your family plan is whether or not you will have kids. Not too long ago, having kids was seen as part and parcel of growing up. Today, things have changed. As one author puts it:

“Having kids – the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings – is the biggest job anyone can embark on.” – Maria Shriver

In these modern times, Americans are having fewer and fewer children. There’s been a sharp rise in women who decide against having kids. Increasing numbers of women who do have kids are waiting until they’re in their 40’s to do so.

This means that there’s no better time than now to really ponder whether that is what you want! While parenthood seems like a dream of an idea for some, the realities of parenthood can take you by surprise. It’s a big decision to make, and you should be taking the time to ponder it well. One way to do so is by asking yourself some important questions.

Here Are 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Have Kids

1. Is this the right time for me to be having kids?

Not everyone has the luxury of timing their pregnancy. If you have that chance, why squander it? Consider if now is truly the best time in your life, career, or personal journey to consider adding to the family.

If you have a partner or spouse in the picture, do they also want to have children? Is it a good time for him or her? Are there any other reasons that it just might not be the best time for either of you?

Of course, the truth is that there’s never a “perfect” time to have kids, as parenting will bring a challenge no matter how “ready” you might feel. But if you’ve just started at a new job, are recovering from health issues, or aren’t sure if you’ll be moving house soon, you might want to wait a little while. You’ll want to be relatively stable when you have kids!

2. Do I earn enough to support a family plan with kids?

You might be surprised to read that 64% of women who are voluntarily childless chose their path due to the expenses of childcare. The cost of raising a child up to the age of 17 totals around a whopping $233,610! And yes, that is just for one kid, so it’s an important consideration in a family plan.

When you have a child, it becomes your duty to provide for them and finance their lives. You are completely responsible for your children – their food, shelter, clothing, education, everything. I mean, have you seen the amount of diapers babies run through? Positive thinking about making it through is one thing, but you still need to be realistic.

If you’re bringing a child into the world, you’ll want to be absolutely positive that you can support them. After all, you want a kid to be happy, healthy, and well taken care of. As such, considering whether or not having kids is an expense you can afford is a good idea.

3. Is there anything I want to do first?

Having a child will change your entire lifestyle. You won’t have as much time to do the things you used to. You’ll have less money to spend on random traveling adventures. So start by taking a look at your bucket list.

Which goals would you like to accomplish before having kids? This can be anything from backpacking through Europe to finding a stable, well-paying job. Remember that having kids will alter every aspect of your daily living. If there are things you want to do first, add that to your family planning schedule.

4. Are there any medical concerns you have?

Genetic concerns can greatly affect someone’s decision to have kids. If you or your partner have health conditions that could possibly be passed down to children, it might change your decision.

If you like, you can opt to have genetic testing done on both you and your partner before making your final decision. This will allow you to make adjustments to your family plan if you find out that either of you has a genetic condition. Although results are not 100% accurate all of the time, it can provide you with information about unknown issues.

Knowing more about how your genes may affect having kids is important. It can allow you to make preparations should you choose to continue toward your goal of having kids. While it’s not necessary for you to undergo genetic testing, if you know you or your partner has a genetic condition, consider how your preparation or plans may change.

5. Does your job work well with your family plan?

Before making a concrete decision, you’ll want to find out how your job will be able to support you. Only 40% of women qualify for maternity leave, and only 12% even have access to this option in the private sector.

On top of that, the US is the only country with high-income that does not guarantee paid leave federally. This is something you’ll want to take into consideration with your family plan. Find out how much leave you’re allowed to take and if your vacation days can count towards them. See if your spouse’s company offers leave for them, too, whether paternity or parental.

If your work is seasonal, planning and timing your pregnancy and early months with a new baby around this schedule can be a good idea. Just make sure that, if you have kids, you won’t wind up in a bad place work-wise!

6. How is your relationship?

If you’re having a child with a partner, the stability of a relationship is crucial. You’ll want to make sure your romance is solid and supportive, and you’re not going through any big tiffs or rough patches. If you are, put having kids on hold for a while.

Studies have proven that overall couple satisfaction decline in relationships with children is almost two times as steep than those without kids. Although you’re also less likely to get divorced if you have kids, you’re more likely to be completely miserable.

This means that you should really make sure you and your partner are strong together and ready for parenting challenges. There’s a difference between maintaining positive thinking and being ignorant. The last thing you want is for your relationship to fall apart when you have a child!

7. Have you considered family planning, chores-wise?

When you have a baby, everything changes. You have less time to do daily chores. You wind up getting little to no sleep. You might be constantly exhausted for days on end.

This is where splitting chores comes in. You and your partner need to be able to divide the household chores and baby-caring activities fairly between yourselves. So, get this sorted out before deciding to have a child. You’ll be thankful you did.

If you will be the mother in this family, make sure there are no hidden expectations from your partner. Women are often assumed to be able to do it all when they have kids. The reality is that no one can be a superhero; there needs to be compromise and balance.

8. Do I even like children?

Are you good with kids? What have your past interactions with little ones been like? If you’ve ever babysat for friends before, how did that go? (And if you’ve never done that, give it a go and see!)

Babies don’t stay babies for very long. Before you know it, they’ll be hitting their terrible twos, talking back, running around, throwing tantrums, and getting up to mischief. If you have difficulty dealing with kids or being around them, you might ask yourself if having children is the best choice for you.

We’d like to add that, of course, you don’t have to love kids to turn into a great parent. Many people who aren’t good with children go on to have their own and love them just the same. But it’s a good question to consider as you construct your family plan, so you can be better prepared.

9. Who else is included in this family plan?

They say it takes a whole village to raise a child. There’s a lot of truth to that statement, but sometimes, you don’t have that option. Think about who will play an important role in your child’s life.

While two-parent homes are still the most common among America’s children, 23% of children live in one-parent homes. If you will be a single parent, then who else will be around to help raise your kid? Your parents, maybe? A sibling? A close friend? If you won’t be a single parent, the same questions apply.

It is ultimately your decision how many people support your child’s growth and development. Deciding in advance who will be involved can help the overall preparedness of everyone in the picture.

10. Do I truly want to have kids?

Many people fall into the trap of believing that having kids is just a logical next step in their adulthood. Their family planning process might include children by default. You might feel like your life might not be complete without kids.

If you feel pressured into having children because your biological clock is ticking, take a step back and think. Many people – women especially – feel like having kids is their duty. If there’s one reason to have kids that you should never follow through on, it’s because you feel like you have to.

Choosing whether or not to have children is a serious decision. For the sake of that child and your family’s future, it’s important that you treat it as such. Make sure that when you choose to have kids, you’re doing it for you, and not for anyone else.

Final Thoughts On Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Have Kids

The truth is that nothing can truly prepare you for parenthood. It’s a journey with a steep learning curve that will often have you confused, exhausted, and even frustrated. At the same time, it is an incredibly rewarding experience.

At the end of the day, your decision to have kids depends on your personal family plan and your own thoughts and opinions. By asking yourself these 10 questions before committing to the idea of having kids, you can be positive that you’re as prepared as possible for this new chapter in your life.

10 Deficiencies That Can Cause Depression

October 19, 2018 by Power of Positivity

It’s safe to say that depression isn’t a condition people want to have. It can be debilitating, exhausting, and prevent you from doing your daily tasks – and it’s not something that plain positive thinking can fix. But did you know that there have been several links made between nutrition and depression?

As it turns out, being deficient in certain vitamins, minerals, and sources of nutrition can actually lead to a higher risk of developing depression. That’s why it’s important to make sure you’re getting all the nutrients you need, especially as you age. Here are some deficiencies that might lead to depression.

“You can trace every sickness, every disease and every ailment to a mineral deficiency.” – Linus Pauling

Here Are 10 Deficiencies That Can Cause Depression

1. B Vitamins

These vitamins are fantastic for nail, hair, and skin health and can even reduce the risk of developing a stroke. But that’s not all they’re good for! B vitamins of all sorts have been noted for having obvious effects on mental health. Pay extra attention to vitamins B6, B9 (folate), and B12, which are some of the most important complex B vitamins. You can get B vitamins from poultry, seafood (like fish, shellfish, crab, mussels, and clams), leafy greens, red meat, milk, eggs, whole grains, bananas, broccoli, avocado, cauliflower, asparagus, and strawberries.

2. Zinc

Zinc is arguably one of the most crucial minerals for the body. It is used the most by enzymes, is responsible for good digestion, can boost the immune system, and is even well-known for warding off allergies. It helps lower inflammation and helps individuals balance their emotional state. Plenty of evidence links depression to a deficiency in zinc. You can get zinc from beef (mainly grass-fed), poultry, mushrooms, oysters, spinach, pumpkin seeds, cashews, dark chocolate, and raisins.

3. Omega-3 Fatty Acids

The body cannot make fatty acids naturally, so we must consume them. They’re great for reducing inflammation, boosting memory, and improving mood, and they’re well-known supplements often taken by those with depressive disorders. Without a sufficiency of these acids, trans fat can make its way into the body’s neural system, leading to potential mind troubles and irritability due to brain inflammation. You can get omega-3 fatty acids from coldwater fish (like tuna, black cod, salmon, and halibut), flaxseed and flaxseed oil, egg yolk, and walnuts.

4. Magnesium

Magnesium, like zinc, is a very, very essential mineral in daily bodily processes, taking part in more than 600 of our metabolic functions. Aside from that, it provides an incredible antidote to high stress levels, helping you stay more relaxed throughout the day. Low levels of this mineral can significantly contribute to the development of neuropsychiatric issues. This connection is so strong that individuals with depression actually tend to have lower magnesium levels. You can get magnesium from seaweed and kelp, peanut butter, avocado, spinach, black beans, whole grain bread, and cashews.

5. Vitamin D

Only recently, vitamin D deficiencies have discovered to be even more dangerous than originally believed, with links to not only depression, but dementia as well. Science has revealed that the lower the amounts of vitamin D in the body, the more severe the symptoms of depression. You can get vitamin D from beef liver, fatty fish (like salmon, mackerel, and tuna), egg yolk, cod liver oil, and cheese. Going outside to spend around half an hour in the sunlight twice or thrice a week can also prevent a deficiency from occurring.

6. Selenium

Selenium is an important trace mineral used in the production of thyroid hormones. It helps provide antioxidants to the body while protecting from all sorts of toxins. It also aids in helping to keep moods positive. Studies have revealed links between depression and deficiencies in selenium. You can get selenium from Brazil nuts, pastured chicken, pastured eggs, meat (mainly grass-fed), seafood (mainly wild-caught), bivalves (like clams and oysters), organic vegetables, organic fruits, whole grains, seeds, and nuts.

7. Iron

Not only does a deficiency in this mineral lead to an increased risk for potentially developing depression, but it can also greatly increase its severity. Maintaining a high amount of iron consumption can actually drastically reduce the chances of developing this psychological condition. What is more, it can improve depression symptoms by 25%. You can get iron from beef liver, chicken liver, duck, shellfish, mussels, and blackstrap molasses. You can also find this mineral in sardines, eggs, nuts (especially cashews and pistachios), spirulina, beans, spinach, raisins, and dark chocolate.

8. Iodine

Iodine is crucial to healthy production of thyroid hormones, in a similar way to selenium. All bodily cells require iodine for healthy metabolism regulation. A deficiency in this component can greatly slow down a large number of organs in the body. This can lead to memory issues, lack of focus, and mood problems. You can find iodine in sea vegetables (like dulse, kelp, nori, and hijiki), egg yolk, crude cheese, saltwater fish, and salt (iodine-improved).

9. Manganese

Manganese is a trace mineral that performs cofactor duties, essentially providing aid to a large number of enzymes that carry out a variety of different bodily functions. Studies have found that those with depression often have very low levels of enzymes that are manganese-dependent and that those who consume more of this mineral are less likely to develop symptoms of depression.

You can get manganese from leafy green vegetables, nuts (especially macadamias and hazelnuts), fruits, and chocolate. Do note that you should not take large amounts of manganese, as an overdose can cause neurodegenerative disorders.

10. Inositol

This molecule is naturally-occurring and therefore present in most animals and plants. In fact, in our brains, we have very high levels of this component, which is largely responsible for neurotransmitter creation. While the body can produce this molecule from glucose, those with depression have been found to have very low levels of this component inside their brains, and supplementation with inositol has been proven to boost mood and relieve symptoms of depression. You can get inositol from fruits, with the best options being oranges and cantaloupe.

Final thoughts

Depression isn’t something to joke about. It’s a very difficult issue to deal with, but what you eat can make a difference. This knowledge puts the power in your hands. By avoiding these nutrient deficiencies, you’ll be able to help keep your body healthy, therefore keeping your mind and brain healthy, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU2LlJxEdJ4

10 Behaviors That Reveal A Woman Is About to Leave Her Relationship

October 19, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Relationships are complicated. There are plenty of reasons someone who is not entirely happy in their relationship might wind up sticking around a little too long before dropping the bomb that it’s over. In fact, most individuals go through five stages of thought in ending a relationship, and progressing between those stages in the midst of a relationship can take a while.(1)

Unfortunately, this means the partner of that person is stuck believing that everything is perfectly fine and normal, only to be struck with the sudden heartbreak that will follow. An anonymous quote wisely puts it this way:

“The problem is women think he will change; he won’t. The mistake men make is thinking she’ll never leave; she will.” – Anonymous

By being aware of the signs that a relationship is nearing its end (or that your girlfriend is preparing to split up with you), you’ll save yourself from a lot of heartbreak in the coming weeks or even months. Here are some behaviors that reveal a woman is about to leave her relationship.

Here Are 10 Behaviors That Reveal A Woman Is About To Leave Her Relationship

1. She comes up with reasons to avoid you.

The whole point of being in a relationship is to be with each other and around each other. So if your girlfriend has gone from eagerly making plans with you to suddenly coming up with excuses why she can’t make plans or canceling last minute, something could be up.

This is especially telling if your girlfriend seems to be going out of her way to attend events that she previously expressed contempt for – and the two of you aren’t going to those events together. If she seems ambivalent when you leave on a business trip or are too busy to grab dinner together, she may no longer be invested in your relationships. Sometimes, this might even extend to bedtime habits – she might turn in early when you need to stay up, but insist on working late when you’re heading to bed early.

While other aspects like new jobs can influence how much time your girlfriend spends with you, her sudden desire to avoid you could be one of the most obvious signs that a relationship is nearing its end.(2)

2. Daily conversation has stalled.

In general, partners who are interested in you and love you will want to hear about your day. Additionally, they will listen to you talk about something that you enjoy – even when they can’t always understand those things themselves! If this is something your girlfriend has always done and now she’s no longer keen to hear you talk, things could be going south.

The same goes for a previously communicative girlfriend who suddenly stops wanting to tell you about her time at the office or something funny that happened on her way home. Such behavior even extends to calls and texts. If she doesn’t want to talk to you, she might be consciously reducing your contact in preparation for a split.

3. She no longer talks about your future together.

Talking about future plans can be exciting for serious long-term partners, and that might be something you and your girlfriend used to love doing. It can be something as simple as planning a vacation a few months away or something as serious as pondering the number of kids you want. Whatever the case, if your girlfriend seems reluctant to discuss these things, it could be because she no longer sees a future together with you.

4. She seems to be consciously in a bad mood around you.

It’s not fun to be around someone who is always grumpy. If you notice your girlfriend has become this type of person, maybe it’s because the relationship is putting her in a bad mood. She might be feeling trapped or simply unhappy and thinking that it’s time to move on.

These bad moods might also be intentionally acted out in order to convince you that she is not a good girlfriend, hoping you will end the relationship first. No amount of your attempts to encourage positive thinking will likely get her out of her pretend funk.

5. You’re the last to know about her life developments.

If your girlfriend’s new job promotion or big life-changing moment comes as a complete and utter surprise to you, this might be because the relationship is heading to an end. She might no longer feel the need to include you in her daily life updates, thus you end up the last person to find out about good news. If she no longer informs you of positive or negative life developments, she might no longer see you in her life to see her through the ups and downs.

6. She stopped making an effort.

Relationships will only work out if both partners are making an equal effort. If you’ve noticed your girlfriend suddenly dropping her efforts, then maybe she no longer thinks it’s worth it. This can be anything from a woman no longer planning dates like she once did, to her forgetting important events, to her no longer being willing to help you whittle away your to-do list when you’re swamped in work like you do for her.

If she has stopped putting an effort into her appearance, especially when she always spruced up before dates or outings in the past, take note. She might be lowering the bar because she no longer cares about keeping up appearances. She likely assumes it will all be over soon anyway.

7. The intimacy has died.

Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, and of course, there are some relationships where it doesn’t play an important role. But if you’re seeing a complete nosedive in intimacy with your girlfriend, she might no longer be interested enough in you to engage in that connection.

If your girlfriend doesn’t want to be intimate with you often anymore, hasn’t made an effort to or shown interest in spicing it up in the bedroom, and has confined all kisses to chaste pecks on the cheek, maybe the attraction has died on her end. The same goes for if you’re still regularly having sex, but that sex feels more like a monotonous routine.

8. She starts excluding you.

Every person in a relationship needs to have their own time and space to themselves. But if it’s reached the point where all your girlfriend ever wants is time and space away from you, then you could be heading for a breakup. You might notice your girlfriend seems to be making plans with everyone else except you and never asks you to tag along. This could be her way of pushing you out of her life.

9. Your jokes no longer make her laugh.

All relationships have their inside jokes. When you make a reference to something only the two of you would know and she can barely even muster a smile, maybe she no longer wants to remember the past that created that joke. In addition, if your girlfriend usually cracks up at your puns but has failed to do so lately, there’s a chance she no longer finds what you have to say interesting enough to pay attention.

10. She either picks fights or doesn’t care about them.

Constant arguments initiated by your girlfriend, especially over the tiniest things, are a very obvious sign that a relationship is going downhill, fast – but it’s also a red flag if your girlfriend stops caring about fights altogether. If your girlfriend is allowing you to “win” all your heated debates, she might simply not care enough to bother. This could be because she doesn’t think it’s worth trying to change your mind when she won’t be sticking around for a long time anyway. (3)

Final thoughts

No one should have to feel like they’re being led on or played, especially when you’re investing time and emotional energy into a romantic relationship. Do these signs always mean that a woman is going to hightail it? Not necessarily. Sometimes external factors could be causing these issues.

If you think this might be the case, try communicating openly with your girlfriend. Ask her if everything is alright. Perhaps something is going on in her personal or family life that is causing concern and she is simply distracted or discouraged.

At the same time, by noticing these behaviors that could spell trouble in paradise, you’ll know if you should talk things out with your girlfriend in order to see what’s going on. Perhaps a good discussion can nip things in the bud before it all goes south. Or perhaps you will find that she has been thinking it is time to move on. If this is the case, knowing sooner rather than later can help you move on with a positive attitude, resting assured that you did what you could.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVqPIRU2EwQ&t=6s

11 Behaviors That Reveal Someone May Be an Abusive Person

October 16, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Maybe, as you clicked on this article, you began wondering, “Why on earth would someone become an abusive person?” We’ll talk more about the characteristics of the abusive person later in the article.

First, who do you think of when you hear the word “abuse”? Do you think of a child? Some poor, helpless animal? An elderly person?

What about the act of abuse itself? Do you picture an act of domestic violence? Perhaps you think of bullying or of sexual harassment. Whatever your initial perception concerning the who’s and what’s of abuse, you’re probably at least partially correct.

What is Abuse?

Abuse can be defined as the infliction of emotional, psychological, or physical harm upon an innocent person or animal. Per the American Humane Society, the abuse of animals and humans is often mutually inclusive. In fact, 71 percent of domestic violence victims state that the abuser also abused pets, while nearly 90 percent of child abuse cases also involved the abuse of animals (1).

Abuse affects people of all ages, from newborns to the elderly. Victims of abuse can be found in any demographic, spanning socioeconomic strata, race, age, creed, color, and sex. Likewise, an abusive person can come from any income, sex, age, or race.

The Scope of Abuse

Unfortunately, both the scale and severity of abuse are probably worse than what you might imagine. Much worse. Additionally, there are many misconceptions surrounding abusive acts, abuse victims, and the abuser.

First, abuse often goes unreported. Victims of child abuse and domestic abuse, for example, fear additional – and often more severe – abuse. Second, we don’t always recognize abuse, even that which seems “obvious,” if only to the victim. In fact, occurrences of abuse often occur in social settings. They tend to involve the consumption of alcohol in the presence of peers or acquaintances. Studies show that, despite witnesses, rarely do people intervene on the abused person’s behalf.

Additionally, many can’t picture the abuse of a toddler, disabled person, or elderly individual whose life has been entrusted to caregivers. Yet, it happens, and probably more often than you think.

Categories of Abuse

The types of abuse are wide in scope and include aggression (e.g. criminal activities, bullying), assault, privacy invasion, rape, silent harassment, libel, infliction of physical injury, sexual harassment, verbal abuse, inhumane acts, neglect, and others. Indeed, abuse is as various as it is prevalent. Consider that Wikipedia cites 117 different types of abuse, from “abuse of authority” to “workplace abuse or workplace bullying” (1).

Sadly, in some places, abuse is not only legal and acceptable but encouraged. In some Middle Eastern countries, husbands, by the mere act of accusing their wife of some wrongdoing, can inflict physical punishment – with the nod of approval from their legal system. In other countries, abusers of children get away with it merely because they are the children’s biological parents. “Child abuse” is scantly defined in these nations, if at all.

The Effects of Abuse

“Being abused does not necessarily cause psychology or medical illness to occur. However, being abused does make it much more likely that one or more psychological or medical illnesses will occur.” ~ Kathryn Patricelli, M.A. (source)

Psychologically, abuse victims often develop mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, phobias, or post-traumatic stress disorder (2). The abuse that occurs from a young age may lead to personality disorders including borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder (a.k.a. “multiple personality disorder”) and histrionic personality disorder (2).

Besides mental illness, victims of abuse may sustain short- and long-term physical injuries. Among the most common are scar and skin lesions in the physically abused, and malformation of the reproductive system in the sexually abused.

Now, let’s talk what makes an abusive person.

What makes an “Abusive Person?”

Abuse – of any kind – is as shocking as it is reprehensible. The question many of us often ask is, “What would make a person do such a thing?” Or, “How could a person do such a thing?”

These are legitimate questions, the answers to which continue to confound the public. The field of adult psychology can explain some, but not all, of the underlying factors that contribute to abuse. The psychology of many abusive people, regardless of abuse type, shares some commonalities. These commonalities manifest into some predictable, typical behaviors.

Let’s look at 11 behaviors that reveal someone is an abusive person.

1. They are manipulative.

Most abusers are keen on manipulating the feelings of the victim. The abusive person manipulates feelings for any number of reasons – from experiencing guilt and regret, to achieving some sort of twisted satisfaction. Motivations aside, the victim often feels disrespected, mistreated, and manipulated.

If the abusive person is a skilled manipulator, they may cause the victim to experience confounding emotions, like guilt or shame for something they did “wrong.”

2. They openly disparage the victim.

While it is quite rare for the abusive person to commit a blatant act of abuse openly, most will purposely disparage and humiliate the victim in front of others. As we’ll talk about later, most abusers need to feel a sense of control over the victim. Openly insulting or otherwise berating the victim provides – at least temporarily – a twisted sense of control the abuser desperately needs.

3. They exploit their power.

People with abusive tendencies are all typically all too eager to show off power. Many times, when we hear of the abuse of power, some person has also been abused. In worst-case scenarios, the abused may die. Consider the 2011 case of Zheng Xiaoyu, the former “food and drug safety czar” of China. Mr. Xiaoyu bankrolled over $850,000 in bribe money from drug companies with sub-standard quality products. These drugs were ultimately linked to the death of several Chinese citizens (3).

4. They are control freaks.

Control is all about gaining and keeping power over a person or group of people. Abusive people may also desire control out of insecurity. We see this in domestic violence cases, when men beat their wives and accuse them of cheating – usually with no evidence. Controlling behavior may be accompanied by emotional or physical abuse (4).

5. They go off the rails easily.

Emotional instability results from lacking emotional intelligence. If a person quickly becomes angry for no good reason – and directs that anger onto their partner or a child or animal – it is a potential sign that he or she is an abusive person.

6. They are very critical.

A loving relationship involves the appreciation and adoration of a person regardless of their faults. Verbal abuse of any kind has no place in a relationship. Relatedly, verbally admonishing one’s partner for mental or physical “faults” is strongly indicative of an abusive relationship – and an abusive person.

7. They’re always sorry.

It isn’t normal to always be apologizing to one’s romantic partner. An abusive person with a guilty conscience is seemingly always apologizing for their latest screw-up. Prolific apologizing is most common early in the relationship, but it can carry on into later phases, especially if the abuser fears separation.

8. They don’t understand personal space.

We all know that romantic relationships involve closeness and intimacy. But there’s intimacy, and then there’s flat-out stalking. Oh, and some abusive people will show this type of creepy behavior before you’ve even introduced them to the folks. Don’t let it happen, for as soon as you do, they’ve “got” you – or at least that’s what they think.

9. They use gaslighting.

Gaslighting is defined as “a form of emotional abuse in which your partner leads you to mistrust your own interpretations of reality (5).” The abusive person will gaslight to let themselves off the hook. They do so by sowing seeds of self-doubt in the victim. Look out for statements like “You’re too sensitive” or “You always do this.”

10. They turn on the charm – at first.

Most abusive people are sane people. As such, part of them understands that they can’t exhibit their abusive tendencies without first gaining your trust. To gain this trust, many abusers give off a charming and (almost) innocent-like demeanor. That is until you’ve fulfilled their need and they have no further use for you.

11. They always need something.

The abusive person has a deep-seeded sense of insecurity and helplessness. As “tough” as they may appear on the outside, abusers quickly become victims in the sense that they “need” others to do things out of fear that they’re incapable. Not too many people are willing to lend a hand to someone once their trust has been violated. This need for others may be the abuser’s greatest weakness – and possibly the potential victim’s greatest asset. Make it clear that you’re not helping anymore, and the self-serving abusive person may just leave you alone.

After all, they don’t care about you. Not really.

Final Thoughts

Abuse of a person or animal is a very serious offense in the United States. If you or someone you know if being abused, and you aren’t sure about contacting law enforcement, please call or visit the website of one of the following organizations below:

– Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453 (website)

– The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (website)

– (Animal abuse): Contact your local law enforcement agency or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) at 757-622-7382

If you live somewhere other than the United States, search Google for local or national help agencies. Make sure that any organization you contact explicitly states that all communication is confidential unless you state otherwise.

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