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Therapist Explains 12 Ways to Deal With Infidelity

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Infidelity is an experience that’s almost unimaginably painful. If it happens to you, you might be so blindsided by emotional pain that you don’t feel anything. However, you’ll likely eventually find yourself feeling a great deal of hurt.

Is there any right way to deal with infidelity? Certainly, you want to avoid lashing out in ways that would cause you to do things you regret. However, you also can’t bottle everything up and expect it to be okay.

You may think that you have two options: either stay with your partner after they cheat on you or leave them. But a therapist will tell you that the situation isn’t so black and white. These are 12 ways to deal with infidelity.

1. Condemn what they did

16 percent of married people polled admitted to cheating on their spouse. No one cheats on their partner by accident. You can expect to hear all kinds of excuses, such as how they weren’t thinking. Your partner needs to know that what they did was unacceptable. They don’t get to try to tell you how to feel or minimize the extent of your emotional pain. If they’re feeling bad about what they did, remind them that can’t feel any worse than you do, because they’re the one who caused this pain in the first place. You have the absolute right to be angry and hurt by what your partner has done to you.

2. Reflect on your relationship

You aren’t obligated to stay with your partner after they cheat on you, nor are you obligated to leave them. However, if you’re looking for an excuse to stay with them or leave them, then you’ve likely already made up your mind. Think about how your relationship has been leading up to this point. If things have been rocky for a while, you might realize that this is as good of a time as any to end things. But if you still care about your partner and believe the relationship can be salvaged, then go ahead. This might be a bump in the road, but you can hopefully get back on course.

3. Find support

Infidelity is not something that should be dealt with alone. You need to communicate with your partner, but they won’t be a shoulder to lean on during this time. Look for support amongst your closest relatives and friends. These should be people who you can confide in. Anyone you tell them should be considered between you and them. If they betray your trust, you might have to cut them out of your life. Part of being a friend means being there for people and not betraying their confidence.

4. Talk to your partner

There might be some very intense emotions going on that prohibit you from wanting to talk to your partner. When you deal with infidelity, you need to realize that you’ll need to have a least one intense heart-to-heart conversation with them. Tell them precisely how you’re feeling in the aftermath of their cheating. Don’t try to downplay your emotions. You should also give them a chance to speak. Fixing your relationship can start with fixing your communication. You can’t expect them to try to excuse what they did. But you can get a better understanding of what led them to this decision.

5. Get tested

If your partner had sex with someone else, they’re putting your sexual health at risk as well as your emotional health. Get tested, even if they insist that they used protection. A thorough STD test can avoid keeping you in suspense and give you a good idea about how to deal with the consequences of your partner’s selfish decision-making. Even if your partner hasn’t cheated on you, it’s still a good idea to get tested for STDs. One out of every person can get an STD before their 25th birthday. That statistic is far too imperative to ignore.

6. Seek counseling

Infidelity can indicate deep-seated problems in a relationship. You might need to seek relationship counseling in order to get to the heart of the matter. A trusted counselor can help teach you and your partner methods for working through this, provided you both want to mend the relationship. When you sign up for counseling, you need to be prepared to listen as much as you speak. You might have some preconceived notions about what will occur, but you’ll likely be surprised by the results. You might learn how to gain more trust in your insticts and have more resolve when dealing with difficulties situations between you and your partner in the future.

7. Don’t think it’s your fault

Toxic partners will cheat and then try to blame their infidelity on you. It is unacceptable for them to gaslight you like this. However, you also shouldn’t put the blame on yourself. The only person responsible for your partner cheating is themselves. Any partner who cheats and tries to act like they’re not responsible isn’t someone who deserves your time. This is likely indicative of already existing toxic behavior. No matter how much they try to manipulate you, it doesn’t change how the blame ultimately falls on their shoulders.

8. Avoid seeking revenge

When you deal with infidelity, you might think that an “eye for an eye” mentality is the best solution. This could come in the form of cheating on them. While this might provide fleeting satisfaction, in the long term, you’ll likely end up feeling empty. You also shouldn’t commit any sorts of acts of retaliation that would be criminal or cause harm to another person. The best revenge you can get is to be the best person that you can possibly be.

9. Don’t accept easy fixes

Your partner might try to excuse their infidelity with a grand romantic gesture. While a lavish gift might seem loving, it pales in comparison to the loving nature of staying faithful. While a heartfelt gesture might be the first step towards mending your relationship, it should by no means be the final one. This is something that you and your partner can only get through by them proving they’re worthy of your trust again. Don’t let them try to speed up the process. Putting that kind of pressure on you says that they’re thinking about their own feelings over yours. They have the right to ask for forgivness, and you have the right to not offer it.

Infidelity

10. Don’t let others make decisions for you

When you share your partner’s infidelity with others, you’re going to get all kinds of conflicting advice about what you should do. To deal with infidelity, you also need to deal with your decision-making process. Some will insist that they have the best solutions for your predicament. Don’t make any decisions unless you’re confident they’re the right ones and what you believe in. It’s perfectly fine to solicit advice, but leave the ulimate decision-making up to yourself. If you’re having trouble deciding what you should do, ask yourself what you would say to a friend who was in the same predicament that came to you.

11. Find outlets

The pain of having to deal with infidelity isn’t something can be resolved just by trying to will it away. Telling yourself to not feel sad or angry is a futile cause. Instead, you need to find outlets that will allow you to deal with your emotions in a healthy manner. Creative pursuits like writing or drawing can help you to deal with the intensity of your emotions. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be an artist, you can still benefit from these practices. Starting an athletic hobby like running or team sports can help you let go of stress and anger. When you find yourself able to focus on something else, you know that you’re being good to yourself.

12. Decide if you want to continue the relationship

Ultimately, it is your decision if this is a dealbreaker or not. While you shouldn’t make up your mind about this as soon as you receive the news, giving yourself time to mull over your decision will help you realize what exactly you want. You might still love your partner and still realize that it’s for the best if you break things off with them. These kinds of decisions don’t come easily, but they can teach you a lot about yourself and what you need out of a relationship, and absolutely no one can take this away from you.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON INFIDELITY 

Being cheated on can hit you like a freight train. It’s an incredibly dehumanizing thing to go through. Your feelings should not be discounted, whether they’re ones of anger, sadness, confusion, or a combination.

When you know how to deal with infidelity, you know how to determine grace and maturity that few possess. The difficulty of this situation can be matched by the strength and resolve you show in response.

10 Causes Of Foot Pain (And How To Fix It)

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Foot pain can be difficult to live with as it can interfere with your life in multiple ways. The pain may consume your thoughts, or it may make it difficult to be physically active. Sometimes, the pain may even seem unbearable.

While foot pain is a serious matter, you don’t have to suffer all the time. If you are able to figure out the foot pain causes (self-diagnosed or diagnosed by a doctor), you can also figure out how to fix it and avoid the pain in the future. Even if the pain cannot be completely avoided you can at least find a way to minimize the effects.

Determining the cause of your foot pain may require a diagnosis, simply because there are so many possibilities. The pain may be caused by something as simple as an ingrown toenail, or it could be something more serious such as arthritis. Either way, the diagnosis is essential in figuring out how to fix it.

Foot Pain Causes

1. Plantar fasciitis

Plantar fasciitis occurs when the band of tissue on the bottom of your foot becomes inflamed due to a small tear. It causes a stabbing pain in your heel that may ease when you begin moving, but will likely return after you have been standing or walking for a while.

This is a common injury for runners and ballet dancers, but it can also occur when you wear shoes that do not offer enough support during extended periods of activity. Plantar fasciitis may also affect those with flatfeet, those who walk on their tip-toes, and anyone who is on their feet most of every day.

2. Arthritis

There are actually quite a few different types of arthritis that can affect your feet. Each of them can cause foot pain, and they all also require medical attention. These types include:

  • Gout – Causes severe pain and swelling of your big toe as a result of injury or sickness.
  • Osteoarthritis – When the cartilage that protects the ends of bones begins to breakdown.
  • Psoriatic arthritis – Your toenails may thicken and pits may develop. Eventually the nail will separate from the nail bed.
  • Reactive arthritis – Causes inflammation and pain due to a rash on the bottom of your feet.
  • Rheumatoid arthritis – Causes pain in the foot because it affects the joints in your feet, causing bunions, corns, claw toe, or hammer toe.

3. Bone spurs

Along the edges of the bones in your feet you may develop osteophytes (bone spurs), which are abnormal pieces of bone that stick out, commonly found where two bones come together.

Oftentimes, bone spurs happen as a result of osteoarthritis because the cartilage on the ends of your bone breaks down. The bone spurs are your body’s attempt at repairing the cartilage. These uncomfortable bone protrusions may go unnoticed for a while, but other times they cause severe pain and a loss of motion in the joints of your feet.

4. Plantar warts

Plantar warts typically develop on your heels and are abnormal growths on your feet. They may grow outward and appear as a tiny bump on the skin, or they can grow inward and you will notice a callus on your foot, instead.

A virus called HPV causes plantar warts, and you can contract the virus by walking around barefoot in a locker room or pool area. These warts do not usually require medical attention, but if they are causing pain and you want them removed you can seek professional treatment or buy a kit at the store for wart removal.

5. Bunions

These bony bumps on the side of your foot near your big toe are somewhat common and happen when your big toe is regularly pushed against your second toe. The joint at the base of your big toe gets abnormally large, protrudes outward, and can be very painful.

Bunions can develop if you wear shoes that are too tight for extended periods of time, or they can develop due to genetics. Other ways that bunions occur is through abnormal stress on your feet or because of arthritis. The only way to remove bunions is to have surgery, but it isn’t always medically necessary.

6. Tarsal tunnel syndrome

If you are experiencing foot pain, tingling, or numbness near the sole of your foot or on the inside of your ankle, you may have tarsal tunnel syndrome. This may occur due to flatfeet, varicose veins, injuries, abnormal growths, or diabetes.

You may be able to treat tarsal tunnel syndrome at home by resting and keeping your foot elevated. If that doesn’t work, you may need to have medication prescribed by a doctor. On rare occasions, you may need to have surgery to fix it.

7. Ingrown toenail

When the edge of your toenail grows into your skin you will experience pain, inflammation, and possibly infection. Normally, you won’t need medical attention to relieve an ingrown toenail, but if it becomes infected or if you have diabetes, you should see a doctor.

You can avoid getting an ingrown toenail by taking the following precautions:

  • Wear shoes that are not tight on your toes.
  • Cut your toenails so that they match up with the tips of your toes to ensure protection.
  • Wear protective footwear.

8. Tendinitis

When a tendon in your foot becomes inflamed or irritated it will likely cause pain and tenderness in the area. In your foot, it will likely occur near your heel and is commonly referred to as Achilles tendinitis.

If you are dealing with tendinitis in your foot, it can usually be healed by resting your foot for a while and by participating in physical therapy. To ease the pain during the healing process, you can take painkillers. If the tendinitis has been left untreated for too long and becomes more serious it can cause your tendon to burst, which can only be treated with surgery.

Tendinitis can be self-diagnosed, and you should look for minor swelling in the area, tenderness, and you will notice pain when moving your foot. You only need to see a doctor if the symptoms don’t go away after a couple of days.
Symptoms

This condition typically occurs when you do the same movement repeatedly. If your career or favorite hobby includes using the same tendon many times over, this injury is likely to happen. The older you are, the more likely you are to develop this injury, as well, as your tendons aren’t as strong as they once were. Go to the website healthcreeds to know more about this injury.

9. Bursitis

When the bursae (sacs filled with fluid to protect bones, tendons, and muscles) in your feet become inflamed, you may experience extreme pain. It normally occurs from doing repetitive motions on a regular basis, but it can also occur due to injury. Conditions such as arthritis, infection, and bunions can often lead to bursitis, as well.

The best way to treat bursitis is by resting the affected area and being more careful to avoid trauma in the future. With rest, bursitis normally clears up in a couple of weeks, but it will likely come back regularly.

You can help yourself avoid bursitis by taking special care of your body while working if your job requires you to do the same motions repeatedly. You should also make sure you are bending, lifting, and doing other exerting activities properly and with the correct form. Taking breaks, exercising, stretching, and warming up before activities can also prevent bursitis from occurring.

10. Flatfeet

When the arches of your feet are flat and the bottom of your entire foot touches the ground, you have flatfeet. This is a common condition and may or may not cause pain or swelling. It can happen due to normal stress of your feet due to age, being overweight, after an injury, or simply because you never developed arches when you were a child.

foot pain

The pain caused by flatfeet is usually in the heel of your foot or near where the arch should be. Activity usually makes the pain worse, and you should discontinue the activity if you begin to notice pain.

How To Fix Foot Pain

Figuring out how to fix the pain depends on the foot pain causes. Some of the suggestions for preventing or stopping the pain are the same for many of the conditions, however. You may be able to fix the pain by taking the following measures:

  • Switch up your activities regularly so you can prevent repeated stress to the same tendons.
  • If you notice pain while exercising or playing a sport, stop playing and rest that area of your body.
  • Focus on your technique when exercising or playing sports. If you are not doing the activity correctly, it can cause serious problems for your body.
  • Stretch before and after exercise or sports.
  • Practice safe ergonomics at your job.
  • Have surgery to remove excess bone growth or other abnormalities.
  • Check for ingrown toenails and remove if necessary.
  • Get an expert opinion from your doctor. This isn’t always necessary, but if the pain will not go away on it’s own or if you have diabetes, it is likely necessary.
  • Wear supportive footwear.

Final Thoughts On Food Pain and How To Fix It

Foot pain can cause so many problems for you, and it is so important to fix it before it interferes in a major way. Sometimes, the pain may require medical attention. Other times, as long as you treat it early enough, you can treat the problem at home.

Either way, it is important to determine the cause of your pain, and then find a way to fix it. There are many different foot pain causes, but you can likely narrow down the issue and figure it out for yourself. Otherwise, seeking a professional opinion may be beneficial.

10 Things Itchy Skin Says About Your Health

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Did you know that itchy skin is an actual medical condition? The medical term for “an uncomfortable,https://www.powerofpositivity.com/jaundice-help-recover/ irritating sensation that makes you want to scratch” is pruritus (pronounced proo-RIE-tus).

Pruritus

Pruritis is a common condition that usually goes away with minimal treatment. For instance, using moisturizer, bathing with lukewarm water, or using gentle cleansers often helps relieve itchy skin. Long-term treatment typically requires identification of the cause of itchy skin and the use of medications.

  • Common co-symptoms of itchy skin include:
  • Bumps, blisters, or spots
  • Dry and cracked skin
  • Scaly, leather-like skin
  • Irritation and redness

Itchy skin that lasts longer than a couple of weeks requires evaluation and treatment by a medical doctor (preferably a specialist – e.g. dermatologist). Prolonged itching and scratching of the skin can lead to further complications such as anxiety, depression, or insomnia. The skin can also become infected, injured, or scarred. Itchy skin that lasts for longer than a few weeks may be indicative of a severe disorder.

What Skin Says About Your Health

“Your skin can be a window to your underlying health, says Wake Forest University’s Joseph Jorizzo, MD, one of the experts who literally wrote the book on signs of internal disease. Many underlying health conditions – some very serious – first appear as skin problems.” – WebMD (source)

Our largest body organ is the skin, measuring over 20 square feet in length and weighing around eight pounds (3.6 kilograms). Besides being an elaborate “cover,” the skin provides many essential functions. Of course, the first priority of the skin is to serve as a barrier between an unstable (and often toxic) environment and our innards.

The skin consists of three layers – the dermis, epidermis, and hypodermis. The epidermis is the outermost layer and acts as a waterproof barrier. The pigmentation process that gives us our skin color also takes place in the epidermis. The activity of melanocytes, cells that produce the coloring pigment, melanin, determine a body’s skin color and tint.

The dermis consists of connective tissue, hair follicles, and sweat glands. The hypodermis is a combination of connective tissue and fat, the presence of which helps to protect delicate parts of the body immediately below.

Things Itchy Skin Says About Your Health

  1. Butterfly Rash: Contact dermatitis, lupus, rosacea

Butterfly rash is usually the first sign of lupus, an autoinflammatory disorder characterized by inflammation of the skin. Symptoms of lupus can range from mild to severe and include fatigue, fever, hair loss, kidney complications, gastrointestinal problems, swollen joints, and thyroid problems.

Butterfly rash may also indicate other conditions such as contact dermatitis or rosacea. The former is usually caused by irritation from a substance in things like cosmetics, fragrances, jewelry, and plants. Rosacea is a skin disease characterized by skin flare-ups and remissions. Symptoms of rosacea include bumps and pimples, eye irritation, facial redness and swelling, and skin thickening.

  1. Skin plaque: Psoriasis

Skin plaque is an itchy, elevated lesion most commonly associated with psoriasis. Also known as primary lesions, skin plaque may appear to be flat even though it is elevated. Plaques may have definable borders that may arise as different shapes and take on a reddish, scaly appearance. Such skin plaque shapes include:

  • Half-moon shaped
  • Ring-shaped
  • Snake-shaped
  • Multicolored

Skin plaques most often appear on the elbows, knees, lower back, and scalp. A specific type of skin plaque – leg plaque – may appear red on the edge and gold-colored in the center.

  1. Purple, flat-topped lumps on the wrist: Hepatitis C

Purplish, flat-topped bumps are most commonly linked to hepatitis C. These bumps usually itch terribly and may be located anywhere on the body. Commonly affected areas include the legs, lower back, genitals, and neck.

Hepatitis C is both a virus and an infection. The virus leads to the infection, which affects around four million people in the U.S. alone annually. Hepatitis C often doesn’t carry noticeable symptoms, with about 80 percent remaining symptom-free. Acute symptoms of the disease may include abdominal pain, dark urine, decreased appetite, joint pain, jaundice, nausea, and vomiting.

  1. Flesh-colored lesions on the back: Tuberous sclerosis

Tuberous Sclerosis is a serious, potentially life-threatening disease that may cause the development of elevated, irritated, flesh-colored lesions on the body. These patches are also called shagreen patches and have a texture resembling an orange peel. Shagreen patches may appear across the cheeks, nose, and torso.

Tuberous sclerosis causes the growth of benign tumors in the brain and other vital organs. Symptoms of the condition may include abnormal heart rhythm, calcium deposits on the brain, developmental disabilities, and intellectual disabilities.

  1. Chronic itch: Neurological disorder

Itches that do not find even temporary relief by creams and other well-accepted topical medications may arise from a neurological condition. The urge to itch arises from the activity of the brain and nervous system, and scientists have discovered that misfiring of this system can create unexplainable itchy sensations.

For example, the peripheral nerves extend from the spinal cord to the skin and throughout the body. If these nerves become damaged, they can become too sensitive, leading to itching sensations.

  1. Swollen, pale-red bumps (hives): Various causes

Hives are a type of skin outbreak characterized by burning, itching, or stinging skin. Hives may appear anywhere on the body, and commonly show up on areas of the face, ears, throat, or tongue. Similar to hives is angioedema, an allergic reaction that causes swelling directly underneath – as opposed to on – the skin.

The release of histamine causes angioedema and hives, which sometimes leads to blood plasma leaking from blood vessels. Conditions that may cause this include allergy, certain medicines (including aspirin and NSAIDs), insect stings, and sunlight exposure.

  1. Scaly, red, dry patches: Psoriasis

Scaly, itchy, red patches that form on the arms, elbows, knees, hands, and other parts of the body are often linked to psoriasis, a chronic skin condition caused by an overactive immune system. Common symptoms of psoriasis include inflammation, skin flaking, and the presence of “thick, white, silvery, or red” patches of skin.

Psoriasis is not a curable condition but can be symptom-controlled through the use of topical treatments, systemic treatments, or a combination of both.

  1. Itchy bumps or blisters: Celiac Disease

Dermatitis herpetiformis (DH) is the skin manifestation of celiac disease, an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) which arises from an impaired immune response to eating the wheat protein gluten. DH signals the mucosal system of the intestines to release immunoglobin A (IgA), a type of antibody. IgA travels through the bloodstream and binds to skin cells, producing blisters or bumps. These extremely itchy bumps and blisters often arise in areas of the buttocks, elbows, and knees.

Topical medications can provide relief for itchy skin caused by DH. Celiac disease is manageable through diet. Continued consumption of gluten may result in health complications such as anemia, bone density loss, malnutrition, or ulcerative colitis – a more severe inflammatory bowel disease.

  1. Itchy, raised welts (or hives): Allergy

Exposure to allergens may lead to the growth of welts, which may become itchy. These bumps are also called hives. Besides itching, hives often sting or burn. Allergic hives may appear anywhere on the body and vary widely in size.

Hives brought on by an allergic reaction are often due to something (like a chemical) that has been inhaled or ingested. Hay fever, also called allergic rhinitis, may also cause hives. Allergic sensitivity to airborne mold spores or pollens are common causes of hay fever.

  1. Blisters and burn-like marks on hands and forearms: Eczema

Eczema is a blanket medical term for a group of conditions that cause the skin to become inflamed. Eczema affects around 30 million Americans, making it one of the most prevalent skin conditions in North America. The skin condition is often seen in babies and children, who often develop rashes or blisters on their cheeks and chin.

itchy skin

Complicating the itchy sensations brought on by eczema is that scratching affected areas can spread it to other parts of the body. Several types of oral and topical medications may be helpful in relieving eczema symptoms.

Final Thoughts: When to Seek Medical Treatment

As mentioned, it is common to occasionally experience itchy skin. Most causes of skin itch – dry skin, acute rash, etc. – are relatively harmless. However, itchy skin that lasts longer than 2-3 weeks and doesn’t improve with self-care measures should be evaluated by a doctor or specialist (dermatologist).

Consider visiting a medical professional under the following circumstances:

  • The itch is severe.
  • Skin irritation interrupts your daily routine or your sleep.
  • The skin problems surface suddenly and without explanation.
  • Skin anomalies spread throughout the body.
  • Skin issues are accompanied by symptoms such as exhaustion, fever, blistering, changes in bowel habits, weight loss, or insomnia.

If the condition lasts for 2-3 months despite doctor intervention and treatment, see a dermatologist to be evaluated for skin disease and an internist to be evaluated for other diseases.

10 Behaviors That Reveal Toxic People In Your Life

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Toxic people can seem inescapable. Drama follows them everywhere, and the more players they can draw to their stage, the more satisfying it is to their ego. You dread working with or meeting them at social events. They never stop talking about either their issues or their accomplishments. They’re never happy, never satisfied, and always critical.

If you find that you feel emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, or see yourself as a complete failure, you may be in the dragnet of a toxic relationship. If you have made all the sacrifices to keep the peace or right the unrightable wrongs, all to no avail, it’s time to take an honest look at what’s motivating you and the unhappy object of your attention.

How can you recognize the influence of toxic people in your life? How can you know when it’s time to accept not only that you will never be able to meet this person’s demands, but that you are losing the best part of yourself in the effort? Here are some sure signs of a toxic personality.

1. Expert Manipulation

Toxic people know how to twist a conversation or situation until their thoughts and desires are the only ones that matter. They always force you to be on the defensive, needing to prove yourself to stay in their good graces.

Manipulators will keep you under their control by pointing out all your weaknesses and mistakes. They will make you a mental and emotional slave. You may begin to feel dependent on them for your own identity and worth. If someone immediately comes to mind when you read this, take every step possible to separate yourself. Remove toxic people and their influence for the sake of your own well being and future happiness.

2. They never stop talking…

Quick, dive into the first dark room or run the opposite direction. Because once this person starts talking, they will never stop. Never. They don’t want a conversation. If you start to say something, they will just interrupt you and carry on.

If you are by nature a good listener, they will call you their best friend, seek your company, and monopolize as much of your time as possible with a completely self-centered monologue. They will drain all your sympathy, empathy, and patience. They will expect you to be available at all times and lay a heavy burden of guilt on you if you’re not.

Don’t let them. At some point, you will need to set limits and enforce them, even at the risk of hurt feelings. Make sure they know you have other responsibilities and relationships to which you desire to give your attention. They may not take your advice seriously. They may speak negatively about you. But they must respect your space. Be nice, yet stick to your resolve. The truth will, eventually, speak for itself.

3. The No-Fault Clause

We all know at least one. No matter what happens, it’s not his or her fault. You may find yourself making excuses for this person’s rude, self-aggrandizing behavior. They will always be saying, “If he hadn’t done…” or “If she hadn’t said…” then everything would have gone as they thought it should.

If you are the one closest to this person, you can become the object of blame. You can quickly become the reason for every unacceptable outcome in this toxic person’s life. There does not need to be any logic in their reasoning. The no-fault clause allows them to argue with people in authority or blame any handy scapegoat (like you), even if you were nowhere around at the time.

It can be difficult, but you need to set boundaries with these toxic people. Try to keep evidence to support the truth, and have a witness when you confront this person. Protect yourself from verbal and emotional abuse by removing yourself from their influence.

4. The Jealous Judge

This toxic personality is often motivated by their own self-loathing. The only way to justify their own lack of self-worth is to destroy the self-worth of others. And so this person will often be the office gossip, the universal critic in any group.

This person never seems to receive the attention or loyalty they should. They always see people enjoying each other as proof of disapproval of themselves. They will demand caring and support, but they will never give it in return. Don’t expect this person to show any interest in what interests you.

Remove toxic people like this from influential places in your life. You may need to step back and remember that your value does not come from the attention or acceptance of just one person. Give your encouragement to the ones who will appreciate it and it will often be reciprocated.

5. The Eternal Victim

These toxic people have never been wrong, just misunderstood. They have the worst luck. If you’re sick, they’re sicker. If you’re tired, they’re exhausted. Trying to have a conversation with a self-proclaimed victim is a never-ending competition for the lowest place in life.

The eternal victim will always be unjustly treated and left out of the fun. They are always in pain and always depressed. Their issues are often common ones, but they’re handled with self-pity and blame-shifting. And the person who is closest to them often carries the greatest guilt.

If you know someone who blames you for every negative thing in their life, remember this: No one is always wrong or always right. A mixture of good and bad outcomes is a part of life. Don’t let anyone convince you to take the blame for all their ills. Life is often what we make it, and you have the power to remove toxic people and be happy.

6. The Pathological Liar

There are some people who wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them on the lip, so to speak. They create their own reality, depending on whom they hope to influence or what they want to acquire. Just because you’re family or care about them doesn’t mean they won’t lie to you.

It can be devastating to discover that the person you gifted with your trust has lied to you or about you. You’ll need to remove yourself from the influence of this person before they draw you into a dangerous web of deception. It may not be possible to make this person accept the truth. Some liars can be very dangerous to your well-being. Do whatever is necessary to remove this person from your life.

7. Always Needy

This poor person just can’t seem to stand on their own two feet. They need someone to fix them, feel sorry for them, and support them in all their efforts. They need you to be their caretaker, parent figure, and cheerleader.

No matter how much you may try to encourage, teach, or challenge these toxic people, they never seem to have the emotional fortitude to make it on their own. They seem to thrive on drama and complain about every possible negative outcome.

Don’t be drawn into becoming this person’s sole support. You can become exhausted by trying to meet their needs. Set limits that will allow you to live your own life, not just help them live theirs.

8. Unyielding Pessimist

This person is lucky if their glass is even half full, and they have no trouble draining yours. They are only too glad to moan over all the worst possible outcomes. The more dire the future loss and mayhem, the more they seem to glory in it.

The person is like Winnie the Pooh’s friend, Eeyore. “It won’t work …” They are professional pity-mongers. They soak up sympathy and beg for more. Before long you’re ready to give in to the idea that life is hopeless. It may be a better idea to just say something nice and positive and then move on … quickly.

9. The Narcissist

These toxic people are superior to all others and must have complete control at all times. Everything, everyone, all actions, words, and even thoughts must be manipulated for their personal ends. They sometimes form a clique of like-minded people and enjoy tormenting anyone outside their influence.

toxic people

A narcissistic personality will quickly squash any opposing ideas or suggestions. They are always right and you are always wrong. They love to argue every point until they have exhausted and vanquished the enemy. Obviously, this person is not capable of a normal relationship. Don’t let them define your value or your talents. You can be perfectly wonderful without them.

10. The Bully

Some of the above toxic people have the potential to become aggressive bullies. A bully will not hesitate to mentally, emotionally, and even physically abuse you in order to get their way. As soon as you recognize that you have become entangled in an abusive relationship, begin to take steps to separate yourself.

Don’t try to do it alone. You may need help from family, friends, and even legal authorities to free yourself. Remaining in a relationship with an abusive person is toxic both to yourself and those who care about you or are under your care.

Final thoughts

It’s never too late to remove toxic people from your life and destiny. You can set boundaries, seek positive relationships, and refuse to stoop to their level. Don’t let rude, manipulative, and degrading people consume your time and energy. You can free yourself and find peace of mind and enjoyment with those who truly care about you. You can have a wonderful, wholesome, positive life.

31 Most Inspiring Buddha Quotes That Will Change Your Life

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Throughout our days, we are often overwhelmed by stress, caught up in our thoughts and everything we have to do. Studies show that depression and anxiety are on the rise. It’s not surprising that millions of people are struggling just to find happiness in their day-to-day life (1, 2).

We live in a spotlight culture. What does that mean, exactly? Think about social media for a minute. If you scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed, what do you see? Dozens of people living their “best lives,” getting engaged, traveling the world, celebrating the launch of another business. We’ve become conditioned to only care about the big moments. The day-to-day is just a means to an end. In Buddhism, the opposite is true.

The Buddha, or “enlightened one,” guides people to a sense of inner peace by teaching them how to live in the present.

The Buddha we know today was born in Nepal sometime between the 6th to 4th century BC as Siddhartha Gautama (3). Like many of us, Buddha pondered the deeper meaning of life and struggled to find purpose in the ordinary. He tried multiple religions, but nothing gave him the sense of contentment he needed, so he turned to meditation. Many of the Buddha quotes we still repeat today came from his personal experiences during this time.

The Buddha was raised luxuriously in a palace, but all the riches in the world didn’t bring him any sense of fulfillment or deeper meaning. At 29, he left his family and ventured into the wilderness. He encountered many different people, who opened his eyes to the universal suffering in the world.

There are many different theories as to what inspired the Buddha to begin teaching, but his great wisdom has inspired millions of people around the world for centuries. One of the most alluring aspects of Buddhism is that you don’t have to practice it as a religion to gain peace from its founder’s words. An inspiring Buddha quote can carry you through your day and not only give you reassurance but also something to think about.

31 Buddha Quotes to Change Your Life

1. “Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

The longer form of this quote compares happiness to the light of a candle. A signal flame can light a thousand others. Likewise, we can change so many lives simply by sharing some of the happiness in our own.

Studies show that even the simple act of smiling, forced or not, releases feel-good hormones that lift our spirits (4).

2. “No one can save us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We must walk the path alone.”

The ultimate purpose of Buddhism is to reach a state of being called “enlightenment.” According to the Buddha, when an enlightened person transforms, they reach Nirvana, a paradise that is free from the endless cycle of human suffering through rebirth.

The exact definition of “enlightenment” varies among different sects of Buddhism (5). Whichever you choose to believe, the point stands that we must go through life’s journey on our own. Comfort in others is wonderful, and humans were designed for companionship. However, no one can ever truly bring us the sense of love, security, and purpose we crave except ourselves.

3. “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow.”

There’s no shortage of scientific research that proves our thoughts influence our happiness. In fact, there’s an entire branch of psychology dedicated to changing thought patterns and living better lives as a result: it’s called positive psychology.

The Buddha wants to teach people to clear their minds and develop a healthy inner-monologue. In Buddhism, this is often achieved through loving-kindness meditation, but you are free to find your own way as well.

4. “Do not dwell on the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment.” 

We can’t be happy if we’re going through our lives plagued with guilt or regret from the past and anxiety about the future. The present moment is the future you once craved, and someday, it will be your past. Every day, you’re writing your own personal history. Choose to change and make it a good one.

5. “There is no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires.”

When you stop thinking about what you don’t have, you liberate yourself from the fear of what you will never achieve. Rather than absence, you can direct your energy to the present and develop a sense of gratitude.

6. “Better than a thousand hollow words is one that brings peace.”

Have you ever struggled to find the words to comfort a friend or loved one in despair? You yourself may have felt burdened by the well-intentioned but misguided advice of others. Choose your words wisely, and understand that sometimes, people only speak because they need someone to listen, not to advise them.

7. “People with opinions just go around bothering each other.”

In today’s politically charged society, it’s impossible to say anything that angering someone. Opinions do not have to be expressed at every opportunity. You can hold your own beliefs and find validity in them without trying to convince others to see everything your way.

8. “Purity and impurity depend on oneself; no one can purify another.” 

This is one of the Buddha quotes many people might struggle to accept. We are so rooted in our jobs, friendships, and relationships that we often fail to take accountability for our own happiness and sense of purity.

Ask yourself where you feel a lack in your life. Whether it’s spiritual or mental, consider addressing your inner child and uncovering where you need to be nurtured most.

9. “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?”

Being conscientious of our words builds empathy and helps us form more meaningful relationships. Many people act as if they have to either choose between honesty or kindness, but you can choose both. Buddha quotes encourage us to dig deeper and become more conscious of our actions toward ourselves and others.

10. “If you find no one to support you on the spiritual path, walk alone.”

If you’ve been damaged by religion, there is room for spiritual healing on your own. This inspiring Buddha quote calls everyone to follow their heart and seek truth, peace, and happiness in their own ways. As long as you do no harm unto others, there is no wrong path.

11. “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.”

Your thoughts don’t define you, but we can’t help but identify with them. You don’t have to believe every thought you think, but you do have to make an effort to cultivate a healthy mind. It takes time, but we can learn to restructure our brain’s pathways and think more positively.

12. “The ultimate truth is not even to think.”

It’s hard to imagine not thinking. If you’ve ever tried to meditate, you know first-hand how obstructive thoughts can be. Daily practice can help you learn to slow down and detach from your thoughts.

13. “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.”

14. “An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”

If you need an inspiring Buddha quote to motivate you, this is it. Go after your dreams, and don’t be afraid to fail. It’s the only way you can learn and improve.

15. “Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.”

16. “The tongue like a sharp knife; it kills without drawing blood.”

17. “A jug fills drop by drop.”

This simple yet inspiring Buddha quote helps you remember to pause and celebrate your progress, no matter how seemingly insignificant.

18. “The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

19. “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

This is one of the finest examples of the poetry in Buddha quotes. The double entendre suggests that we shouldn’t seek peace in others, nor should we do anything in the name of peace without having peace within ourselves.

20. “You can only lose what you cling to.”

21. “As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise, you will miss most of your life.”

22. “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”

23. “A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.”

Buddha quotes often deliver serious judgments that many people are afraid to acknowledge themselves. Quotes like this remind us that we can’t believe everything we hear, and we must judge people based off their actions and character, not their words.

24. “If we destroy something around us, we destroy ourselves.”

25. “Doubt everything. Find your own light.”

positive-thought-quotes

This inspiring Buddha quote encourages you to ask questions and go against the grain. You aren’t weighed down by society’s standards. You create your own destiny.

26. “In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

27. “What you think, you create, what you feel, you attract, and what you imagine, you become.”

28. “There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.”

Positive affirmations can provide comfort in times of stress, chaos and confusion. Using Buddha quotes like this can help us remember the duality of life and maintain balance even in times of turmoil.

29. “It is better to travel well than to arrive.”

Life is a journey, and we should embrace every opportunity to explore, change and grow. Our plans will ultimately change to accommodate our minds as we evolve and realize what we really want out of life.

30. “Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

31. “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

10 Foods That Help Fight Depression

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You can fight depression by eating the right foods. Along with all the other methods of combating depression, food should be in the top three of methods. Getting enough sleep and trying to stay positive, food is equally important. What we place in to our bodies affects our moods, mood swings, and give us the fuel to get through tasks. When we are able to get through a task we are less stressed. There is a full cycle and circle of action in lessening the burden to our brains.

Starting to eliminate some foods such as sugar, dairy and caffeine are a good start. Eating healthier choices such as fruits and vegetables are the go-to for choosing a diet rich in freshness and the proper vitamins and fuel needed for the body. Make the commitment to pick up more fresh choices while shopping and you will start to notice the difference too. Your mood will be lightened and you will have more energy.

Below are some foods that provide the nutrients needed in order to fight depression.

10 Foods Helped Me Fight My Depression:

1. Any Dark Leafy Greens

These are a nutrient-dense inflammation fighter. Inflammation is what sets off depression in the brain. Fight it by buying and eating more dark leafy greens. There are so many to choose from: spinach, kale, and swiss chard should be on your grocer’s shelves now.

These greens are the first of the “G-BOMBS”. These “G-BOMBS” are foods such as greens, beans, mushrooms, onions, berries, and seeds, as described by Joel Fuhrman, MD in his book, The End of Dieting. These foods are the most powerful immune-boosting agents and have anti-cancer effects.

Severe depression has been linked with brain inflammation as per a study published in March, 2015 in JAMA Psychiatry. Leafy greens are filled with vitamins A, C, E, and K, minerals, and phytochemicals.

2. Walnuts

Stuff some of the richest plant source of omega-3 fatty acids in to your mouth. Omega-3 fatty acides support the brain’s functions. As a society we do not push the benefits of nuts. Now its time to make some steps back to the nutty side to take advantage of all they have to offer.

3. Avocado

There are so many fresh dishes you can make with avocado. The oleic acid in avocados gives you brainpower. Eating one per day will boost a lot of the brain’s functions. Avocados are power foods and a healthy fat. Most of the fat from the avocado is monounsaturated fat in the form of oleic acid. Avocados are filled with vitamin K, different kinds of vitamin B (B9, B6, and B5), vitamin C, and vitamin E12. YOu would not know it, but an avocado also has very low sugar, but it is high in dietary fiber. Go ahead and grab a few!

4. Berries

When berries are enjoyed freshly there are the highest antioxidant foods available. Choose one or choose them all, but add these berries to your shopping list: raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. The variety in what you can get away with will excite your tastebuds. Add some berries to your breakfast and get the day started with something that will fight depression. Antioxidants are like DNA repairmen and they are bursting throughout berries. Your body is already equipped with what it needs to make its own repairs. These repairmen fix your cells and preventing them from getting cancer and other illnesses.

5. Mushrooms

There are so many different types of mushrooms. You will never be bored to add these foods to your plate. The chemical properties of mushrooms oppose insulin. Insulin helps to lower blood sugar levels, evening out your mood. Mushrooms promote healthy gut bacteria. It sounds gross, but it is ever so good for your body. Our gut manufactures at least eighty percent of our body’s serotonin. Serotonin is the critical neurotransmitter that keeps us balanced and sane. We certainly cannot afford to skip the mushrooms. We should be loading up even more on these delicious treats. Our intestinal health matters!

6. Onions

We often overlook onions as having much to contribute. They are smelly and we do not like to cut them because of the effects on our eyes. Onions must push their way on to our plates too. Onions are layered With cancer fighting allium. Allium is brimming over in vegetables such as chives, leeks, shallots, spring onions, and garlics have been associated with decreasing the risk of many types of cancers.

Eating garlic and onions frequently helps to reduce the risk of cancers to the digestive tract. Consider the relationship between your digestive tract and your brain. Between the two helping to prevent cancers of the gut they also benefit your mood.

7. Tomatoes

Add at least five baby tomatoes to your salad today to load up on folic acid and alpha-lipoic acid. Those two acids are awesome for fighting depression. As per research published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience,studies have shown an elevation of folate deficiency in patients with depression; they were have folate deficiency. Folic acid can prevent an excess of homocysteine. Homocysteine restricts the making of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine from forming in the body. Still too scientific? Its ok, just eat more tomatoes. Who can resist adding tomatoes to every dish rather raw or cooked. You can grow tomatoes easily too – in the yard or on the balcony. The fresh juiciness pops in your mouth.

8. Beans

Anti-diabetes and weight loss all wrapped in to a bean. Our bodies digest beans slowly and this stabilizes blood sugar levels. Another super food that can do wonders for our bodies. This is the one starch that should be on your kitchen shelves. Add beans to a salad and your body will smile from the inside. Beans are a great mood stabilizer and packed with fiber. Some will notice that with more bean eating they will not feel the need to load up on breads. Beans is a wonder food that will continue to amaze the body.

9. Seeds

Seeds are not normally pushed as a food for humans, but for birds. Why allow the birds to have all the fun? Instead of reaching for potato chips, reach for seeds. Seeds are filled with sources of Omega-3s. Sunflower seeds or any kind are better than the snacks on the shelves that can be filled with unnatural fats and salts. Some other seeds to keep on your shopping list are: flax, hemp, and chia seeds. You can roast these or add some other additives such as lime to them too. Its a seed party in the mouth! Seeds fight diseases too and increasingly absorb protective nutrients in vegetables when eaten in the same meal. Sprinkle some seeds on your meal and your body will be satisfied.

flex seeds to fight depression

10. Apples

Are you eating enough apples? Once you understand what they can do for your body you will want to eat more. Just like berries apples are also high in antioxidants. Apples also balance blood sugar and are a fiber. Try different types of snacks with apples – dark chocolate or even slathering on some almond butter. Make a fruit salad and be certain to include some apples.

There is a connection between the food we eat and how it affects us. The new weapon to fight depression is actually not all that new as we have been pushing these superfoods to the side for the crunch non-healthy alternatives. Healthy food is depression treatment. If you crave sweet, salty, or fatty foods, you’re not alone. If you substitute any of the above foods then you will have met your desires and satisfied your body. Intake of too much sugar decreases a protein in our brains and that too is involved in the development of anxiety and depression.

The path for long-term health against depression has the first step of eating more fresh fruits and vegetables on a regular basis. Many studies show that people who eat healthier have better mental health. Join the club and stock up on your next grocery store visit. You will be happier and feel more satisfied too. You will find more purpose and fulfillment in life and in living.

There is nothing magical in leaning on chemical ingredients for depression. The magic actually lies within the natural foods that are on Earth and available for us to eat. Get to know the vegetables and fruits in your nearest grocery store. You will be surprised of how many you have skipped over just because you are not familiar with them. Learn more about how to incorporate these foods in to your everyday diet with recipes that you will look forward to cooking. The new high should be in your grocery bag, not in a bottle from a shelf. When you are taking care of yourself, you are taking control of what you eat. Your spirit picks up and that becomes an antidepressant.

Science Explains How to Use Apple Cider Vinegar For Weight Loss

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With all the health benefits of fermented foods being brought to light, it’s no wonder that many people are looking to apple cider vinegar for answers to their health questions.

ACV has been a staple used by many people to treat health problems. While it’s always on your grocery shelf, many are now beginning to see the true wonders in this tonic.

Despite the massive health benefits, this tart concoction is also helping people lose weight. Is it possible that something that has been used for pickling and making a zesty vinaigrette can help fight the battle of the bulge?

Understanding the Components of Apple Cider Vinegar?

To make ACV, crushed apples are added to a yeast mixture. The yeast causes the sugars within the apples to turn to alcohol. The process’s next part is adding acid to ferment the batch. Once acetic acid is added, the total processing time is about one month. Some manufacturing companies have reduced the production time to around 24 hours.

The strong taste and sour odor in this vinegar come from ethanoic acid. Nutritionally speaking, one tablespoon of this bitter elixir has about three calories and zero carbohydrates.

apple cider vinegar

Acetic Acid Can Promote Fat Loss

The Latin word for vinegar is acetum. About six percent of this apple cider treat comprises acetic acid, a short-chain fatty mordant. Once it’s ingested, the acid dissolves and makes acetate in the body. Acetate has many advantages as it causes changes to occur.

Studies show acetic acid can lower blood sugar levels, decrease insulin levels, improve metabolism, reduce overall fat storage, and suppress appetite. Most research was conducted on animals. Studies on humans are ongoing. However, the results of regular use are promising.

You Must Reduce Calorie Intake While Supplementing With Apple Cider Vinegar, Suggests One Study

When it comes to apple cider vinegar for weight loss, the power is in appetite suppression. Ingesting a couple of tablespoons of this vinegar can help you feel full. When your stomach is satisfied, you are less likely to eat.

A small study found that apple cider vinegar worked to support weight loss, but only when combined with a reduced-calorie diet. The study observed the subjects in two groups for twelve weeks. One group of participants reduced caloric intake by 250 calories, while the other group did not reduce caloric consumption. At the end of the study, researchers noted how,

“The ACV significantly reduced body weight, BMI, hip circumference, visceral adiposity index (VAI) and appetite score (P ≤ 0.00).”

The study also notes that ACV might have an appetite-reducing effect on the body.

Can Apple Cider Vinegar Help You Lose Weight?

First, you should know that there is no magic pill or health tonic that is going to make the pounds miraculously disappear. Rather than purchasing the latest fad drug or buying into that hype, you can take comfort in knowing that this vinegar has been used for thousands of years.

When using apple cider vinegar for weight loss, you won’t need to worry about your heart racing, feeling flush, or having euphoria-like sensations, which come with most dieting drugs. However, one study concluded that it has an impressive effect on appetite control.

Another study was conducted over twelve weeks on Japanese adults. The 144 individuals were given 1-2 tablespoons of ACV to drink daily. They were told that they couldn’t have any alcohol, but they didn’t need to alter their diet in any other way. The results were uncanny.

The group that consumed one tablespoon lost an average of 2.5 pounds. Their triglycerides decreased by an astounding 26 percent, and their body fat dropped seven percent. The group that consumed two tablespoons had even more significant results. On average, these individuals lost 3.5 pounds and saw a 26 percent drop in triglycerides.

The placebo group didn’t have such good results. They gained weight and their waist measurements increased. There haven’t been many studies of this kind, but this human study proves that ACV might benefit weight loss.

quinoa

Read about how quinoa can help you feel more satisfied to help you eat less.

Other Health Benefits Provided by Apple Cider Vinegar

Though many people are talking about apple cider vinegar for weight loss, it has many other benefits that it can provide for the body. Here are some of the ways Old-timers used ACV as a tonic.

•Acetic Acid May Help Contol Blood Sugar and Insulin Levels

ACV could help lower blood sugar and insulin levels by slowing the digestive process after consuming a meal laden with high carbohydrates.

A small randomized, controlled trial observed participants’ blood glucose and insulin responses following a high-carb meal in fifteen-minute intervals.

They also administered the acetic acid in three different portion sizes to determine the most effective combination. They found that the highest dosage, 28 mmol of acetic acid,  reduced the blood glucose response at the 30- and 45-minute marks. However, it better controlled insulin and increased satiety at 30, 90, and 120 minutes.

While the scientists suggest the necessity for more extensive studies, this outcome offers hope to people with an increased risk for diabetes.

•Helps with Insulin Sensitivity

One medical journal explained how adding a couple of tablespoons before a meal also showed that insulin sensitivity improved by 34 percent.

•Alters Fasting Blood Sugar Levels

Another study took people with type 2 diabetes and had them consume ACV with a snack in the evening. The high-protein snack and vinegar improved the blood sugar numbers twice as much as those who did fasting alone to improve their numbers.

•Tackles PCOS symptoms

Polycystic ovary syndrome is a horrible condition that causes infertility, hair loss, growth in places it shouldn’t, and problems balancing hormones. It’s a miserable illness that has no cure. One study placed women with this disease on a regimen to take two tablespoons of ACV at night.

They consumed the vinegar for around a hundred days. Shockingly, more than half of the women started ovulating again, which is the most significant complaint of infertility issues. The improvement of insulin sensitivity has everything to do with the reproductive system, which is probably why they saw such a dramatic increase.

•Cuts Cholesterol Levels

Studies conducted in rats and mice found that a regular ACV regimen reduced the bad cholesterol and triglyceride levels. Fortunately, it increased good cholesterol numbers.

•Controls Blood Pressure

Using animal studies, researchers have found that ACV may decrease diastolic and systolic pressures. This elixir constrains the enzymes that constrict blood vessels and doesn’t make the heart work as hard.

•Kills Viruses and Bacteria

E. Coli is a potent bacterium that is found in foods. Thankfully, ACV can fight these bacteria and reduce up to 90 percent of how much is ingested. Forget food poisoning when you take this healthy tonic before you eat. Also, it can reduce viruses by up to 95 percent. Flu season may never be the same again.

Adding Apple Cider Vinegar to Your Diet for Weight Loss

You’re already impressed with all you’ve read about using apple cider vinegar for weight loss, but you don’t know where to start. It’s easy to begin incorporating it into your diet. First, you can blend it with a bit of olive oil and make a salad dressing. The tangy zip ACV provides great on cucumbers, tomatoes, and leafy greens.

You may want to use it for pickling eggs or cucumbers, or if you don’t mind a tart taste, you can drink it straight. The average dose of ACV is one or two tablespoons per day. Remember, vinegar can cause some gastric problems, so it’s better to start slow and build up to the total dosage. Some even spread it over a few daily doses to prevent indigestion.

However, drinking ACV before a meal is always best to protect the stomach. Though it’s tempting to turn the bottle up and not mess with measuring, it can cause burning to the esophagus and stomach. Make sure always to dilute it with water for the best results. There are tablets on the market that make big claims, but nothing will replace the power of pure, organic apple cider vinegar with the mother.

apple cider vinegar

The Bottom Line on Apple Cider Vinegar for Weight Loss

After reviewing all the studies conducted on animals and humans, ACV dramatically impacts the body. If these studies are truthful, taking just a small amount each day promises big results. Who wouldn’t want to increase their fertility, lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, and lose pounds of fat?

The only downside is that acetic acid, the main component, can harm the stomach and cause gastric issues. This problem can be combated by diluting the vinegar in water. If you need to lose weight and have tried everything else, your answer may be at the local health store staring you right in the face. While it’s not a miracle worker, it might be a supplement worth discussing with your doctor.

5 Skills That Make You Better At Dating

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In an ideal world, everyone is respectful and mindful of the needs of the other. However, we have to learn to maneuver around those who are not and to enhance our own skills so that we can become better overall. Here is the reality: along with dating comes mishaps, misunderstandings, and commitment issues. Here we do not have any secrets except one: be the best partner you can be. This is easier said than done, so we had to compile a list to help you get along better in the dating world. Whether you are navigating the complexities of online dating or seeking companionship through services like romford escorts, our tips will help you build stronger, more meaningful connections.

You do not have to be perfect, as there is no such thing as the perfect person. With our list of skills that make you good, you will have a compass to start with yourself and then be able to deal with others. Starting with being respectful and honest is always a good base. Everyone should remember those rules from being in kindergarten. This is the mark of someone who gets it and is ready to balance the five skills we have shared below.

Skills that make you good at your job could also apply for dating. Below we review five skills and share some pro dating tips that can keep you afloat while looking for the one. Each step is where you can begin to work on yourself and then start to look at others. Just as you would at any job interview or on the job of any company, you would do a self-evaluation and try to improve from there. Think of our list as the beginning of your self-improvement and awareness. Before you know it you will be on your way to a long term, healthy relationship.

These 5 Skills Up Your Dating Game

Dating is always a challenge, but with the right tools, you can date and not feel bogged down with self-loathing or negativity.

dating

1. Be Observative

Are you aware of social cues? Can you read body language and eye contact, or lack thereof? There are many forms of nonverbal communication. Not noticing if the person is into you may save you a lot of time and embarrassment. If you are better able to read body language then you will know how to interpret a possible connection with potential partners.

Reading body language can tell you if the person is interested in your or your friend. Reading body language can also tell you what the person is more excited about in talking on topics. Knowing body language is like having an inside scoop on what will happen next. You can better hone this craft by people-watching. Pay attention to others on dates and see if the the lady is interested in what the guy is saying. If she is she will be leaned in and making eye contact. She may even have a flirty laugh and toss of her hair.

2. Be Self Aware

What are some things you need to work on without being too critical? Before pairing with anyone, it is best to be aware of your flaws and how you work on them. What kind of partner are you while in a relationship? These are important questions to ask of yourself before trying to partner with someone else. By knowing yourself, you come in to the relationship with a better foundation and the ability to build a new one with someone else. Start dating yourself first.

Being by yourself is a strong sign that you are ready to include someone else along for fun. Who else will be if you are not okay with being with you? Being alone is not punishment nor should it be a boring time. Get to know your own interests and pursue what you are in to. Pairing up with someone else will be even more interesting because of your pursuits.

3. Emotional Intelligence and Awareness

Being able to handle your emotions in a healthy manner matters. The key components of having emotional intelligence are having a deeper understanding of yourself, being able to control your emotions in a healthy manner, and feeling empathy towards others. With this skill set you can have an even deeper relationship with someone else. The connection will be made for yourself and also your partner.

dating people

4. Communication/Conversation

Being able to communicate means listening and also conversing. Participating in the exchange of ideas is a sign of healthy communication. Show interest in the date. You can do this by showing appreciation and validating what is being shared with you. Ask questions and be interested and not just interesting. Staring and nodding your head will only lead to a short and single date.

Going back to kindergarten, being honest was a part of the rules of the class. Maintain an openness, too, as you share your feelings throughout the course of the relationship. The way you and the other person communicate is a telltale sign of things to come. This can make or break the relationship. Finding the best way of communicating that works for you both is best. It must be two people communicating. Once you find that you are deeper into the relationship, it may take more work, but with some willingness to work on it you can have a lifetime partner. Being closed off will end a relationship quickly.

Pro dating tips: start getting in the habit of asking at least three questions for each topic that you are not as interested in. This will let your date know that you may not know much about the topic, but you will not seem as if you are not interested in what they are saying.

5. Finance Before Romance

You want to impress your new love interest but do not want to go broke while doing it. Understand what your spending limits are beforehand. When planning the date, you can know exactly what you can and cannot do. Exercising this type of restraint takes time and it will reflect in what is currently in your bank account or your ability to save. No one wants to date someone who cannot pay their own bills. That is not the stuff that a good foundation is made of. You will also find that some of the best dates do not necessarily cost money.

Thoughtfulness and preparedness matter too. Do not discount this for creating a cheap date. Understand your relationship with money may not be the next person’s relationship with money. Free activities such as going for a hike or watching a movie may not be at the top of the list each time for every person.

Pro dating tips: Some apps can help you to get financially sound. Some apps will change what you spent that day and place it into stocks. There are also other apps to help with making certain you stay on top of paying bills.

6. BONUS TIP: Time Management

Having the time to have someone else in your life is equally important. Are you always working or always at work even when you are home? No one wants to communicate with themselves. Think on your own time management and if you are always late to events or outings. No one wants to feel that they are second place to whatever your schedule is. Take an honest look at your time management and how you approach being on time and in the moment.

If you are always connected to your phone and social media, you are not in the moment. Taking a break from your phone and committing to being in the moment for a few weeks could be great practice to being with someone else. You may find the answer is that you may have to wait until you are in a better position before bringing someone else to the table of your life.

dating

 

Final Thoughts on Improving Your Dating Skills

Some other dating thoughts on time management and being more assertive when seeing others. Can you incorporate this person into your life at this time? Are you truly capable of handling such a schedule without burning out, being late, or being exhausted? Managing your time will allow you to be present and in the moment. The person sitting across from you will appreciate this and will appreciate it even more if their own time is not wasted. Being assertive does not mean being rude. Being assertive simply means you can ascertain when it is time to speak up and show interest in an activity or the other person. They may appreciate and be even more interested in you because you made a stand.

This list could lead to a lot more once you have begun to look at yourself to make certain it is time to bring someone else into your life. The other person will also have their own baggage and their own ways. Being mature enough to recognize this will lead to a healthier dating life.

In the end, we are all works in progress. There is no perfect person. We all have the potential to get rid of our bad dating habits and blossom into someone your new love interest will be glad and proud to date. Applying these dating tips to your everyday life can help.

25 Foods To Avoid When You’re Pregnant

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When you are pregnant, you should no longer only think about yourself when you are consuming certain foods. Your unborn baby also consumes everything that you do and receives nutrients from all the foods you choose to eat. Not only does your unborn baby get those nutrients, but the baby also consumes any bacteria, hormones, and artificial flavoring from those foods.

There are certain foods that you should never eat while you are pregnant, and then other foods that should be limited. This is to ensure that your baby is healthy and to allow your baby to only consume the necessary nutrients. Since your baby’s health is so important, here is a list of 25 foods that you should avoid when you are pregnant.

Foods to Avoid When You Are Pregnant

 

1. Fish that is high in mercury

Mercury is highly toxic and is not safe at any level during pregnancy. It can cause harm to your baby’s nervous system, immune system, their kidneys, or interfere with their development both before and after birth. Fish that have high levels of mercury are found in polluted seas and tend to be the large fish such as:

  • Sharks
  • Swordfish
  • King mackerel
  • Tuna

2. Sushi or other uncooked fish

Raw fish can cause your baby to have infections such as bacterial or parasitic, norovirus, salmonella, or listeria. Sometimes these infections will cause you (the mother) to become dehydrated and very week, but they can also infect your unborn baby causing serious, sometimes fatal, health issues. When you are pregnant, you are nearly 20 times more susceptible to these infections.

Some of the complications that can affect your unborn baby include:

  • Premature delivery
  • Miscarriage
  • Stillbirth

3. Any meat that is under-cooked

Raw or under-cooked meat can cause bacterial or parasitic infections such as E. coli, listeria, and salmonella. When your baby is exposed to these infections, serious complications can occur that can ultimately lead to death. Some other complications that can potentially occur include:

  • Stillbirth
  • Mental retardation
  • Blindness
  • Epilepsy

4. Caffeine

While caffeine is thought to be safe in small amounts, you likely need to cut way back on your caffeine consumption when you become pregnant. Caffeine enters the placenta easily, quickly reaching your unborn baby. This is because an unborn baby cannot burn caffeine and it can cause low birth weight

Caffeine can be found in unlikely sources such as:

  • Coffee
  • Tea
  • Soft drinks
  • Hot cocoa
  • Cappuccino

5. Produce that has not been washed

Produce is a common source of bacteria and infection such as E. coli, toxoplasma, Salmonella, and Listeria. The food becomes contaminated by way of the soil and through handling.

Toxoplasmosis is especially dangerous because it can cause eye or brain damage while the baby is in your womb. Sometimes toxoplasmosis is contracted with no symptoms at the onset or at birth, but it can cause blindness or mental disabilities later on in life.

Simply washing your fruits and vegetables before you chop them up and eat them can prevent these infections and bacteria from making you or your unborn baby sick.

6. Unpasteurized milk, cheese, or juice

Usually, when you buy milk, cheese, or juice from a grocery store it is pasteurized, but occasionally, you will come across unpasteurized products. These products can cause infections such as listeria, salmonella, and E. coli.

Consuming pasteurized products prevents these bacteria from affecting you and your unborn baby by killing the bacteria. An added bonus is that during the process none of the nutritional value is lost, either.

7. Alcoholic beverages

Alcohol consumption during pregnancy can lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, and serious birth defects. Many times, when a mom has consumed alcohol during her pregnancy, her baby will be born with fetal alcohol syndrome which causes deformities, heart defects, and mental retardation.

8. Processed snack foods

During pregnancy, you and your unborn baby need large amounts of protein, folate, and iron. When you are consuming processed snack foods such as chips, cookies, and microwaveable dishes prevent you from consuming all the essential nutrients you need.

Processed snack foods are high in calories and sugar, and low in any of the nutrients that you should be aiming for. It can cause an unhealthy amount of weight gain and can cause pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes.

9. Hot dogs

During the processing and storage of hotdogs a few different types of bacteria can infect you or your unborn baby. Listeria is a major concern when it comes to hot dogs, and the hot dogs should always be cooked thoroughly before consumption. The fluid that is found in a pack of hot dogs is even more of a concern, as that is the most likely place to find listeria.

10. Lunch meat

For the same reason as avoiding hotdogs, lunch meat and other deli meat should be avoided or limited when you are pregnant. If you do occasionally give in to the craving and consume lunch meat, it should be heated until it is steaming hot to kill any possible bacteria.

11. Eggs that aren’t cooked thoroughly.

Raw or under-cooked eggs are a common cause of Salmonella. This infection can lead to you (the mother) experiencing fever, nausea, vomiting, cramps, diarrhea, and other flu-like symptoms. On very rare occasions, salmonella from raw eggs can lead to uterus cramps that cause premature labor or stillbirth.

It may be difficult to determine what constitutes raw egg, because raw egg can be found in a variety of forms including:

  • Poached eggs
  • Hollandaise sauce
  • Some cake frosting recipes
  • Mayonnaise (normally homemade, occasionally store-bought)
  • Scrambled eggs that have been only lightly scrambled

If a store-bought product contains raw egg, the eggs are usually pasteurized, which eliminates the worry of salmonella. You do have to take extra precaution during pregnancy, however, so it is important to read the label just to be sure the raw egg was pasteurized before consuming a store-bought product.

12. Soft cheese

Soft cheeses such as brie, Camembert, Roquefort, feta, Gorgonzola, queso blanco, and queso fresco should be avoided during pregnancy unless their packaging clearly states it has been pasteurized. Consuming soft cheese that is unpasteurized can lead to listeria.

13. Anything from a buffet

The foods at a buffet, especially the lettuce and other vegetables, have higher instances of bacteria contamination such as listeria. When these foods sit out at room temperature, the bacteria can quickly multiply. It doesn’t help that other diners may accidentally contaminate the foods at a buffet.

14. Potato skins

Unless the potato skins have been thoroughly scrubbed and cleaned, you should avoid them during pregnancy. The dirt that clings to the skins can harbor bacteria and infection causing parasites. If you aren’t certain that the skins were scrubbed, you may just want to avoid them altogether to prevent yourself and your unborn baby from becoming ill.

15. Herbal supplements

You may enjoy herbal supplements for cooking or for healing, but experts are unsure if they are safe for pregnancy. In order to ensure that you and your unborn baby are safe as possible, it is best to just avoid these supplements altogether.

16. Shellfish

Shellfish comes with a risk of infection to you and your unborn baby. Algae contains large amounts of bacteria and, since shellfish regularly consume algae, shellfish are full of the bacteria when they die. While you may think that cooking kills all of the harmful bacteria, it actually doesn’t kill it all.

When you are trying to avoid shellfish, it is wise to avoid the following:

  • Oysters
  • Clams
  • Mussels

17. Raw sprouts

Raw sprouts contain bacteria that is extremely difficult to wash away the way you can wash most fruits and vegetables. This bacteria can cause illnesses and other complications for you during pregnancy, and it may even harm your baby, as well. The raw sprouts that should be avoided include:

  • Alfalfa
  • Clover
  • Radish
  • Mung bean

18. Foods that are high in calories

When you consume foods or beverages that are high in calories, you are limiting the nutrients you can intake for the rest of the day. You don’t get a free pass to eat whatever you want without repercussion during pregnancy (although that would be wonderful), so you still have to be careful.

There are certain essential nutrients during pregnancy, and foods that are high in calories don’t tend to have large amounts of those beneficial nutrients. You should instead opt for foods with lower calorie content and higher nutrient content.

19. Raw cookie dough, cake batter, or other homemade dessert mix

Homemade dessert mixes almost always have raw egg in them. This opens the door to salmonella and other infections that you should be avoided to ensure your safety and the safety of your unborn baby.

If you can’t avoid eating the raw dough, look for a store-bought option that does not contain raw egg. It is generally easy to find, so you shouldn’t have to search too hard.

20. Artificial sugars

Some artificial sugars are detrimental to your health, and those sugars are even more detrimental to your unborn baby. These sugars can quickly and easily reach your baby through the placenta, as well, so there isn’t much chance for your own body to absorb and filter the artificial sugars out of your body before it reaches your baby.

21. Meat spreads

Also known as pates, meat spreads are susceptible to bacteria such as listeria. Even keeping your refrigerator colder than normal can’t prevent all of the bacteria from growing, so you should really just avoid meat spreads until after your pregnancy.

22. Homemade salad dressing

Homemade Caesar dressing is a common culprit of raw eggs which, as discussed previously, can cause salmonella and all of the issues that may come along with the infection. It is unsafe to you and potentially dangerous to your unborn baby. The safer option is to buy your dressing in a store, as the raw egg used in those recipes tends to be pasteurized.

pregnant

23. Certain desserts

Some desserts such as tiramisu, mousse, and meringue call for raw eggs. If this is the case with your favorite dessert, it may be best to just avoid it until your pregnancy is over. You could also opt for a store-bought version that uses pasteurized eggs, or you can normally buy pasteurized eggs to safely make your own.

24. Stuffing from a pre-stuffed turkey

You can commonly buy turkey that has been stuffed ahead of time, or you may prefer to stuff your own before it is time to cook it all in the oven. When a turkey is not frozen and is pre-stuffed, however, it poses the risk of bacterial infections for you and your baby. The raw juice inside of a turkey will soak into the stuffing, and cooking doesn’t always kill all of that bacteria.

Instead of risking a health issue for you or your unborn baby, it is best to just avoid stuffing from a pre-stuffed turkey; instead, prepare and cook your stuffing separately. If you must have it cooked inside of the turkey, you can keep the turkey frozen and then avoid letting it thaw before cooking.

25. Food from a potluck

Potluck food should be avoided during pregnancy for several reasons. First, it may have been sitting at room temperature for too long, allowing bacteria to grown immensely. Secondly, you have no way of knowing for sure that a food has been cooked thoroughly, or if ingredients were used that are unsafe for pregnancy.

If you can’t avoid a potluck, make sure you eat before the food has been sitting out for longer than 1-hour (2-hours maximum). You should only partake in the food if you trust the person who made the dish and if you are certain about the ingredients that were used.

Final Thoughts On Foods To Avoid When You Are Pregnant

When you are pregnant, you may want to eat everything you see without a second thought. This is unsafe for both you and your unborn baby, however, and you should pay extra attention to everything that you consume. During pregnancy, you are much more susceptible to contracting infections from food such as listeria, salmonella, and a variety of others.

While you may be okay after consuming these foods it is not worth the risk, as it can cause life threatening complications for your unborn baby. It is best to just avoid these foods altogether, and indulge in healthier, safer options.

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