Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

10 Reasons Strong Friendships Are the Key to Happiness

Having close friendships might be the key to happiness, according to science.

Think about it. How would your life be without your close friends? Your list of friends probably includes people with different personalities, backgrounds, and ideas.

Yet, they all have something in common. Real friends are people who genuinely know you, and they remain your friend anyway. They accept you for who you are and know that you do the same for them.

Why do you have friends? Is it just so you will have people for socialization, or are the benefits on a deeper level physically, mentally, and spiritually? Here are ten reasons why close friendships may be the key to happiness and fuller life.

10 Reasons Why Friends Are a Primary Key to Happiness

Here are ten great reasons why friends might unlock the key to happiness in your life.

1. Offer Purpose to Your Life

key to happinessThink of what a boring world this would be without your friends. When you cultivate close friendships, it provides more purpose to your life. You look forward to spending time with them.

Sharing life with friends gives you a better sense of belonging. As you relate with others, you get a better picture of humanity and realize that you’re not alone. Maintaining a purposeful life is the key to happiness.

2. Reduce Your Stress and Boost Your Mood

How many times have you felt stressed out to the max and reached out to a friend for guidance? Countless studies show that spending time with a close friend can minimize your stress and its accompanying symptoms. A friend’s empathetic ear may be what you need to calm your nerves and refocus.

It’s hard to feel blue when you are around friends who are positive and upbeat. Your friends’ infectious laughter is bound to rub off on you. When you surround yourself with positive people, you will have a positive outlook on life.

3. Boost Your Self-Confidence

While flattery’s results are superficial, genuine compliments from friends can make you feel better about yourself. It feels good when someone you respect values your opinions and efforts. They can boost your spirits on a bad day and give you the push you need to make it through this crazy life.

4. Provide Strength After A Loss

Have you heard the old saying about the world laughing with you and then leaving you to cry alone? When you have a circle of close friends, they don’t leave you when the going gets tough. A true friend shines even brighter in the shadows of your grief, which is an essential key to happiness.

A loss isn’t just defined as the death of a loved one. Losing your job, divorce, and other upheavals can be just as devastating. Your friends don’t need to offer advice or give you false hope. Their loving and supportive presence can be a great comfort when you need it most.

5. Offers Accountability

Friendship is the key to happiness, but it can also contribute to better health through accountability. Multiple studies suggest that having a network of close friends may decrease your risks of certain diseases, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and even some forms of cancer.

If you are trying to lose weight and exercise more, you often have better results if you have a friend working with you for accountability. Camaraderie also positively influences helping people break other unhealthy habits, such as drinking and gambling. Your friend may see a problem while you are blind to it.

Friends look out for each other’s best interests, and they’re not afraid to tell you both good and bad things. Yet, you take constructive criticism when it’s from someone you love and trust.

6. Provides Honest Opinions

A real friend will be honest with you, even when the truth is difficult to confront. They can tackle challenging issues with compassion and grace. It may take a genuine friend to tell you that your new outfit doesn’t look as good on you as you think or broach the subject of a cheating mate.

When you are trying to make a crucial decision, close friends can be a source of valuable wisdom. They won’t push their opinions on you, nor will they offer unsolicited advice. As a key to happiness, real friends care enough about you to be honest.

7. Early Friendships May Help You Develop Romantic Relationships

Did you know that you often learned some of the best skills for a healthy romantic relationship from your childhood friendships? You learned to care about others, how to share, how to be honest and faithful. Early friendships also gave you a lesson about healthy boundaries that are necessary for a stable romantic connection.

8. May Contribute to a Longer Life

If you talk to the seniors in your life, they will probably share that the key to happiness and longevity is to be surrounded by friends. Many people in their golden years are still friends with people they knew as children. Because of the many benefits close friendship offers, many people live a longer, healthier, and happier life.

9. Provides New Interests, Skills, and Hobbies

Wouldn’t this be an odd life if everyone were the same? Fortunately, we all have different views and interests to make a more rounded society. Friends often share and teach their skills and hobbies with each other. It’s how skills and art have flourished since the beginning.

Think of the things you know how to do and who suggested and taught them to you. It’s a combination of family, school, and life-long friends. You probably have shared many of your interests and skills along the way, too.

10. May Keep Our Brains Sharp

Your brain is just like any other part of your body. To be healthy and strong, you must nourish and use it often. When you have friends, you are continually considering new opinions and ways of doing things. You do fun things together and often try to find solutions to trying situations in life.

As a key to happiness, friendship keeps your brain busy with critical thinking and challenges. Studies have shown that people with a close network of friends may be less likely to develop Alzheimer’s and other dementia conditions in senior years.

hiking with friendsMaintaining Close Friendships

As you go through each stage of your life, friends will come and go. It’s not always that you forced them away. Sometimes, you just outgrow friendships, or they fade with distance and time.

However, you may have close friends that have been with you most of your life. One survey said that at least 27 percent of Americans have ten friends or more. That’s a more encouraging number than the 2% polled who responded that they have no friends.

Like a garden, friendships won’t survive with neglect. It’s a mutual responsibility for cultivation and attention. It’s not always an easy task, but it often proves to be vital to happiness. Here are some tips for maintaining close friendships.

• Be honest

Nobody wants a friend who is two-faced or can’t be trusted. For a real, lasting friendship, always be honest with your friends and others. Show your friends that you can be trusted by keeping confidential things private and don’t engage in gossiping.

• Be Yourself

When people decide to offer you their friendship, it’s because they like you for you, not because you are someone else. Be genuine, and don’t try to boast or act like a person you aren’t. Most people can sense a fake friend and will step out of the picture.

• Be Dependable

Do you have that particular friend who is chronically late for every occasion and lets you downtime and time again? Such inconsideration can quickly dissolve a friendship. Instead, strive to be dependable.

• Be Kind

The world is already filled with many hateful people who cut others down with intolerance and cruelty. Kindness is a virtue for any friendship, and it should be mutual. If you are in constant competition and offer people backhanded compliments, you’re not a friend.

• Be a Good Listener

You may hear your friends talking, but are you listening to them? Good listening skills are a must if you want to make and maintain quality friendships. Remember to use neutral body language and try to mirror the other person’s emotions. Frequently it helps if you summarize what the speaker has said for clarification.

• Be Considerate

Have you ever been a party to a one-sided friendship? These are unfortunate relationships where one person needs all the attention and demands the other without reciprocation. Be considerate and abide by guidelines of mutual respect.

• Be Fun & Friendly

What are some of the qualities you like in your closest friends? Not only do you appreciate their honesty and integrity, but you also love that they know how to have a good time. Cultivate your friendships with fun, laughter, and quality time.

key to happinesFinal Thoughts on Finding the Key to Happiness

You can never have enough close friends in this lifetime. They are with you through all situations and are a source of strength and joy when you need it the most. The key to happiness is having a friend and being friendly to others.

How Projecting Feelings Can Harm Mental Health, According to Psychology

Do you project your feelings onto others using transference? One of the most iconic ways people use this tactic is when they are caught in wrongdoing and can’t mentally handle the responsibility.

Have you ever caught your child doing something wrong, and they quickly say that their brother or sister is the one that did the deed? They don’t want to face the consequences for their action, so they transfer the guilt to another party.

When someone feels attacked, a coping skill is to blame someone else. It’s a psychological trade-off that allows them to get rid of what they don’t like about themselves by projecting it to another individual.

Another classic example of this behavior is a husband that is caught cheating on his wife. He may feel so much guilt for his actions that he starts accusing her of cheating. She may be as faithful as they come, but he can clear his conscience when he blames her. Why do people do this sort of thing, and what does it say for their psyche?

Transference is a psychologically damaging habit that can harm your mental health, and it must be addressed.

Why Do People Project onto Others?

Your brain is hardwired to protect your psyche from uncomfortable confrontations, which sometimes leads to a false self-perception. If you have faults that make you feel guilty, you may transfer these faults and emotions onto someone else to avoid acknowledging you have a problem. It’s human nature to find fault in others, so when you project those feelings to another, you can feel better about your negative qualities.

Who is More Likely to Transfer Emotions?

projectingTransference is an unconscious way you defend yourself. It’s a mental ploy to ignore your negative emotions so that you don’t experience self-confrontation discomfort. You may be more apt to project your feelings when you refuse to be honest with your imperfections.

If you have low self-esteem, it may come easy to project your feelings of inadequacy onto others. Projection can be a mechanism that attempts to bring everyone on the same level. It may serve as a veil for prejudice and other intolerances.

Maybe you are a person who can be honest with yourself and can admit to your faults and imperfections. You can deal with all aspects of your life and personality, both the good and the bad. If so, you can recognize and experience your faults without projecting them onto others. However, you should know that some types of projection are normal.

Common Examples of Projecting

Not everyone projects emotions in the same way. For some people, it’s so subtle that it’s almost unrecognizable, while others can do it blatantly. See if any of these situations sound familiar to you.

  • You are having a night on the town with some of your girlfriends, including that one who is a shameless flirt. She makes a flippant comment about how you were trying to seduce the waiter. Shockingly, it was her that was flirting with everyone you saw that night.
  • Perhaps you’ve been in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic personality. If he thought you weren’t paying enough attention to his needs and thoughts, he accused you of being selfish and uncaring. It doesn’t matter what you do with this person. It’s never enough, but they’re the ones guilty of giving you no attention.
  • Have you ever been around someone who was continually faulting people who were having marital problems? Maybe she bragged about her marital bliss in-between time. You knew for a fact that her marriage has been on the rocks for years, but she projected that trouble onto your union.

These are a few of the countless examples of how people can transfer feelings to others. They will speak degradingly of others for the very things they refuse to confront in their own lives. Are there ways to free others or yourself from this vicious vortex of projecting?

How to Stop the Projecting Cycle

Some of those examples may have touched you where you live. Projection is a common tactic, but even ruminating about this habit can make the situation even worse. Consider some of these ways to confront your behavior head-on.

1. Realize Who You Are

In the corners of everyone’s soul is the things you try to hide. These are the things that you don’t want the rest of the world to see. They’re the weaknesses that make you feel inferior to others.

Before you can conquer your transference problems, you need to uncover the difficulties and face them directly. While uncomfortable, it’s a necessary step to stop this pattern of bad behavior.

2. Meditation

One of the best ways to get better acquainted with yourself is through meditation. As you practice mindful breathing, reflect on yourself and what it means to be you: the good and the bad. Become a detached observer and see yourself as you are, with compassion and not judgment.

3. Journaling

Another way to open yourself is through journaling. It’s a valuable tool that you can use to reflect on the events and thoughts of your day. It can be as elaborate or simple as you like, and you can use it to recognize when you may be projecting your feelings onto others.

4. Learn How to Communicate Better

Are you a born conversationalist, or do you have problems communicating with others? Maybe one of the reasons you are transferring your feelings is that it’s easier to express them in words.

There is an art to effective communication, but it can be learned with practice and patience. It’s uncomfortable talking about your frustrations, faults, and failures. However, friends and loved ones will respect you more when you can honestly convey your feelings.

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5. Be an Active Listener

You need to be a good listener if you want to improve your communication skills. Do you truly listen to what the other person is saying, or are you daydreaming or thinking about what you want to say next? A good listener uses open body language, mirrors the other person’s emotions, and summarizes what he says for clarification.

Honestly, look at your actions and notice if you blame others for your faults or are projecting negative qualities onto them unfairly. Recognize your behavior and try to learn from it without being too judgmental of yourself.

6. Stop Being a Martyr

When you are transferring your feelings, you often have a negative view of the world. Maybe you are used to playing the “victim card” and blame everyone else for your problems and shortcomings. You may see others as heartless bullies, and you sit around feeling sorry for yourself.

Instead, learn how to empower yourself and be honest with your feelings. If someone is at fault, have an open conversation with him instead of suppressing your emotions and projecting them onto others.

7. Learn from Past Experiences

As you are journaling, try to reflect on times in the past that you know you’ve transferred your feelings to keep from being honest with yourself. What situations were you in, and who were the people you typically projected these emotions onto? When you notice a pattern from the past, you can use it as a tool to avoid future issues.

8. Bring in an Honest Opinion

A close friend is more valuable than gold. She will have your best interests at heart and will give you an honest opinion when asked, even when it’s something you’d rather not hear.

If you are trying to confront your habit of projecting your feelings, why not get a close friend or trusted loved one to help. It needs to be a person with whom you trust and have confided in the past. Asking for help may seem embarrassing at first, but your friend will understand that you are trying to become a better person.

After you make the initial step to ask for help, realize that your friend or loved one will see things that you may not or have refused to see. Remember that you asked your friend for assistance, so don’t get upset when she honestly points out when you are transferring. It may take a while but be patient during the process.

Put yourself in different settings with various people and ask your friend to be your sounding board. With her feedback, you can learn more about yourself and what negative qualities you want to eliminate in your life. It’s going to take time, but you can do it.

9. Ask for Professional Help

There’s no shame in asking for professional counseling. You recognize that you have a problem with transferring your emotions, and this step shows that you are ready to confront it and change. An experienced counselor can work with you on your self-improvement.

Maybe you’ve lost friends or have damaged a relationship because of your bad habits. These losses may make you feel isolated and bitter, which may exacerbate your behavior. Your counselor can offer you valuable tools to rebuild relationships with others and with yourself.

projectingFinal Thoughts on Projecting Feelings

It’s not easy to admit when you have a fault or failure, and projecting them onto others is a common mistake. When you are honest and recognize your weaknesses, you can find ways to remedy them and be less critical of others.

20 Organic Foods Proven to Boost Cognitive Function

It is possible to eat your way to better cognitive function. Many foods have nutrients, antioxidants, and more that can benefit your brain health. The best part is that many of them are organic.

You should be eating healthy anyway for your overall health. However, if you aren’t eating as healthy as you should, improving your brain health might be the push you need over the fence. With brain health on the decline in such a significant number of people around the world, keeping your brain sharp should be a priority.

Here are 20 organic foods that can help you with that goal. They’re separated by category to make a list easier to navigate.

Vegetables for Better Cognitive Functions

Let’s look at the organic veggies that can boost brain health.

Broccoli

Broccoli is full of vitamin K as well as other antioxidants. Vitamin K indirectly aids in cognitive function by regulating the amount of calcium that goes to the brain and the bones. Recent research reveals a special connection between calcium deficiency and Alzheimer’s disease. It seems that people with weak bones are more likely to have the APOE4 gene, which increases the effects of Alzheimer’s disease.

cognitive functionLeafy Greens

Leafy greens are full of antioxidants called flavonoids and carotenoids. Research has shown that these antioxidants have superior anti-inflammatory properties. Inflammation of brain cells contributes to neurodegenerative diseases, so it’s essential to consume as much of these antioxidants as possible. Enjoy spinach, lettuce, and kale in a salad or a smoothie.

Hot Peppers

If you ever need an instant cognitive pick me up, try eating hot peppers. Hot peppers contain a substance called capsaicin. Capsaicin is what gives peppers the hotness. It sort of plays a trick on your brain. Your brain reacts to the heat by giving you a reaction as if your mouth was actually on fire. This activates your fight or flight response, prompting a release of endorphins and dopamine. This gives you the energy and alertness you’d need to survive the fake fire.

Carrots

Carrots are excellent for clearing up brain fog. It can help with acute brain fog, and research has shown that eating them regularly can fight against future brain fog associated with cognitive diseases. This is due to a flavone called luteolin. Carrots are great on salads or as a healthy snack with hummus or peanut butter.

Grains

Quinoa

Quinoa is known as a superfood because it has so many health benefits, including keeping the brain healthy. One way that quinoa does this is through essential amino acids. The human body can’t make essential amino acids but also can’t survive without them. People must get these nine amino acids from food sources. Quinoa is a complete protein, meaning it’s a significant source of all nine amino acids. Amino acids are needed for a healthy brain and to fight against cognitive diseases.

Oats

Most of the time, when you hear or read about glucose, the consensus is that glucose = diabetes. However, this is only true if you consume way more glucose than you use. Glucose is fuel for the body, especially the brain. Oats are a healthy source of glucose, which is why it makes a great breakfast food. It prepares your mind for processing visual and spatial information as well as remembering things. Plus, it releases glucose at a slow, steady rate rather than releasing it quickly, which can make your blood sugar spike.

Fruit

Berries

Barbara Shukitt-Hale, Ph.D., and Marshall G. Miller conducted a study that was published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry about the effects of berries on brain health. They found that the antioxidants in berries help to protect cells in the brain from free radicals and other harmful substances. Berries also improve communication between neurons in the brain. Eat them as a standalone snack or blend them into a smoothie.

Avocados

Avocados are another superfood that has numerous health benefits. Luckily, your brain can significantly benefit from it. Besides having over 20 vitamins and minerals, avocados also have monounsaturated fatty acids. These fatty acids help protect cells in the brain called astrocytes, which support communication cells in the brain. Avocados are used to make great guacamole. They also go great with toast and eggs.

Oranges

Oranges and orange juice are full of vitamins and flavonoids. Studies conclude that those older adults who regularly consume the citrus fruit, or it’s juice benefit from improved cognitive functioning. Oranges are a great solo snack, or they go well in fruit salads. You could try squeezing fresh juice from the oranges. You can’t get any better than that.

Apples

Apples are great for your brain health because they are packed with antioxidants. The main antioxidant in apples is quercetin, which blocks free radicals from the brain. The peels are the best part since they contain most of the beneficial nutrients. Research shows that apples improve memory and fight against strokes. Enjoy them as a solo snack or try them in a summer salad.

apples

Legumes

Chickpeas

Chickpeas, also called garbanzo beans, are one of the healthiest legumes you can eat. They have a substance called choline. This substance makes acetylcholine, which is a neurotransmitter for memory, mood, muscle control. It also aids in early brain development. While the body makes choline, it doesn’t make enough, so you must get the rest from food sources. Chickpeas are used to make hummus. They also go well in a variety of salads.

Lentils

Most people know that lentils are full of protein. Bodybuilders and other fitness gurus consume bowl after bowl of lentils for this reason. However, they’re also great for brain health too. Lentils have pantothenic acid, which is needed to make chemicals that help cognitive function. Lentils make a great soup. They’re also a great addition to salads and chili.

Seeds and Nuts

Pumpkin Seeds

These tiny little seeds are packed full of powerful antioxidants and nutrients that contribute to great cognitive function. They have zinc and copper, which helps nerve signaling. These seeds have magnesium, which supports learning and memory functions. Pumpkin seeds also have iron, which fights against brain fog. They may be tiny, but they pack quite the cognitive punch. Lots of people like to roast pumpkin seeds and add flavors such as cinnamon or salt & pepper.

Walnuts

Out of all nuts, walnuts are the best for cognitive function. That’s because they are a significant source of DHA, a type of Omega-3 fatty acid. This fatty acid helps to develop newborns’ brains. Some studies showed that moms who consume substantial amounts of DHA have smarter children. Consuming walnuts also helps older adults’ brains as they age. Walnuts are a great snack by themselves but are also tasty on salads.

Almonds

Almonds are an excellent choice for the same reasons that walnuts are – the DHA content. However, almonds are slightly lower in fat, so they are a healthier choice. Almonds are also more versatile than walnuts when it comes to using them in foods and recipes.

Spices

Turmeric

Turmeric contains an antioxidant called curcumin that is shown to have immense benefits for brain health. Curcumin can penetrate the brain’s barrier and help clear amyloid plaques that are known to contribute to Alzheimer’s disease. For this reason, turmeric is often used as a treatment for dementia patients. People enjoy using turmeric to make flavorful curries, but you can blend it into smoothies also.

Cinnamon

Cinnamon is fantastic when it comes to cognitive health. Just smelling it can boost your memory. It’s full of the antioxidant manganese, which aids in the development of astrocytes and synaptic neurotransmission. You only need a small amount of cinnamon, two tablespoonfuls, to get the recommend daily amount of manganese. Cinnamon is excellent for a wide variety of foods.

Other Organic Consumables

Coffee

There is a reason that coffee is such a popular drink in the mornings. It’s because the caffeine in coffee is known to give people an almost instant increase in energy and concentration. It also has a mood-enhancing effect, sometimes putting people in a “feel good” mood. Coffee can also fight against cognitive diseases like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s if you drink it regularly.

Dark Chocolate

Here is another food that’s rich in flavonoids. The research into the connection between dark chocolate and cognitive function is still ongoing, but preliminary investigations show that dark chocolate improves cognitive impairment. Dark chocolate makes excellent cocoa.

Green Tea

Green tea is on that list of superfoods. Besides giving you an instant caffeine boost, green tea has the amino acid called L-theanine, which provides you with a more stable type of increase than caffeine. This amino acid encourages the release of dopamine, which puts you in a good mood. Paired with caffeine, this can help you focus the gained energy into productive activities.

organic foodsFinal Thoughts About Boosting Cognitive Function with Nutrition

It’s no surprise that the healthiest foods are the ones that provide you with brain-boosting benefits. After all, healthy foods are the ones with all the nutrients, antioxidants, and other good stuff. Plus, be sure to choose organic foods. These choices ensure that you are consuming a diet free of pesticides, chemicals, or other irritants that can harm your health.

With the mental decline of old age on the rise all over the world, it’s more important than ever to take care of your level of cognitive function while you can. These 20 organic foods are a great place to start. Incorporate them into your diet as you wish to keep your brain healthy.

Experts Reveal How Strict Boundaries Can Set You Free

Everyone should set boundaries in their lives. Whether it’s with family, friends, at work, or somewhere else, the need for boundaries isn’t one that should be understated. When you don’t set them, it’s easy to become trapped in a machine of your own making. This can result in a lot of pain and discomfort for you until you begin drawing lines.

If a lack of boundaries has you feeling used or trapped, it’s time to begin imposing your limits firmly and unwaveringly. Here’s how experts reveal how strict boundaries can set you free.

1.    It Establishes Identity

It can seem odd to conflate identity with boundaries. That is why it should be made clear that you aren’t, as a whole, defined by your boundaries.

However, boundaries are a good way to set up your identity with those in your life. You clearly define your limits and individuality, says behavioral neuroscience researcher, psychologist, and scientific editor Joaquín Selva, Bc.S.

Essentially, when you set up boundaries, you’re making it explicitly clear what is okay and what isn’t okay. It shows:

  • Who you are
  • How much you’ll tolerate
  • What you can take responsibility for
  • What is simply unacceptable to you.
  • Where you stand

When everyone knows these things – and, potentially, more – about you, you’re free to be who you are around them without worrying about being taken advantage of. You’ve laid the ground rules, so now, you’re free.

2.    Boundaries Can Make You Kinder

boundaries

When you have strong boundaries, what you’re doing is an act of compassion. That might be a surprising thought, but that’s because many people have a negative idea of boundaries. There’s an underlying stigma that the act of setting boundaries is unfair or mean – but Brene Brown, Ph.D., says that this is simply incorrect.

In reality, those who have strong boundaries are often very kind. Why? Well, you’re telling me what works for you and what doesn’t in a respectful manner. This allows them to adjust their knowledge of you and allows them to outline their own boundaries.

Those who set boundaries may even have a better time understanding other people’s emotions. With this comes new freedom – you can empathize with others and know where they’re coming from, so you’re not afraid of any hidden meaning they hold. You’ll also know how to interact with this person in a way that works for them, which is also very positive for communication freedom.

3.    It Lets You Care For Yourself

Setting boundaries is an act of self-care and not one to be taken for granted. According to counselor and psychologist Dana Nelson, this is because in all aspects of life, not setting boundaries can be very harmful. Therefore, when you do set boundaries, you’re good to yourself and your mental health.

Whether in your personal relationships, at work, or with anyone else, poor boundaries or a complete lack of them can lead to:

  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Burnout
  • Exhaustion

This is why boundary-setting is especially important for vulnerable individuals who require more self-care. Research has found, for example, significant benefits in this field for new mothers.

4.    It Can Prevent Work Burnout

Many studies point out that the act of setting boundaries is inherently good for your ability to work and your professional relationships. You can feel more fulfilled and positive in your career if you have clearly set and defined boundaries.

Confused as to why this is the case? Think about it logically. If you don’t set boundaries at work, you might wind up:

  • Being asked to do more work than you are feasibly able to keep up with
  • Getting requested by colleagues to help them even when you have your hands full
  • Having unrealistic expectations thrust upon you.
  • Being forced to disrupt the work-life balance in favor of work

This is why boundary-setting can set you free in the workplace. You’ll work hard, yes, but within the limits that are best for you!

5.    It Gives You Permission

When you don’t set boundaries, you wind up falling into bad situations where you’re forced to endure negative circumstances that you don’t deserve. Dana Gionta, Ph.D., a coach, and psychologist, says this can be because of:

  • Guilt
  • Self-doubt
  • Fear
  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety

How do these feelings hold you back when it comes to boundaries? They can make you:

  • Fear the potential responses of other people to your boundaries
  • Believe that you have no right to set boundaries, especially with authority figures
  • Try to cope with boundary-breaking that ends up harming you in the long run
  • Think that saying “yes” when you don’t want to is a sign of you being a good person
  • Feel drained from taking on too much
  • Get taken advantage of by those who will use your lack of boundaries against you

So when you set boundaries, what you’re doing is being brave and permitting yourself to have these limits. They’re a sign that you respect yourself enough to know your worth – and to know that you deserve to have your space respected in turn. If that’s not freeing, what is?

unique

Here are six things that make you surprisingly unique.

6.    It Gives You An Abundance Mindset

An abundance mindset is best defined as a mentality where you believe that the world contains sufficient nourishment, resources, wealth, opportunities, and individuals for you and everyone else. You believe there is enough to contribute in a positive way to your life and happiness – and that there’s also enough for everyone else.

This kind of mindset is freeing because it removes the fear of losing or missing out. You stop clinging to the ideas of a scarcity mindset, such as that:

  • You’ll never get your chance
  • You need to hold onto everything you have with all you’ve got.
  • If you lose something, you’ll never get it or anything equivalent back.
  • You are missing out if you’re not “on par” with others.

When you have boundaries in place, you’re able to see your worth more clearly. People who keep crossing boundaries directly communicate to them again and again can’t help raising red flags. If things don’t work out, you’ll keep your positive thinking well; you know there will always be options for you.

7.    It Makes You Free To Choose

Freedom can often be defined as the ability to make choices as you desire. If that’s how you define freedom, then setting your boundaries will certainly give you that. Here are some choices you’re free to make thanks to boundaries, according to self-love coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, and brainspotting practitioner Jennifer Twardowski.

·         Supportive Life Decisions

When you set your boundaries, what you’re doing is allowing yourself to make decisions in your life that serve your needs and support you. You get to choose things that actively help you instead of going by the whims of others.

·         How You’re Treated

Setting boundaries means you get the first and last say in how anyone is allowed to treat you. Those who don’t meet those boundaries and refuse to do so are people you simply don’t need to deal with. You get to forge better, more positive relationships thanks to these boundaries.

·         What’s Best For Your Health

Your wellbeing can be affected by a lack of boundaries. When you set boundaries, you get to choose limits that protect your health. You know what will hurt your mind and body, so your boundaries can be built and specified to protect you from things that can weigh them down.

8.    It Frees You From Bad Relationships

Sadly, when you first set boundaries, some of your relationships are going to fall apart. It’s an unfortunate and even upsetting fact, but it’s also a freeing one. At the end of the day, you’ll be much better off for it.

Meanwhile, the relationships that do survive the addition of your new boundaries will be stronger than ever. You’re setting a precedent for positive, healthy relationships that flourish with good limits and new understandings.

Need help weeding out the toxic people in your life? Here are some warning signs to start looking out for:

  • Complain about you to a third party
  • Are interested in gossip about people who explicitly want to keep things private
  • Dominates all conversations you have with them
  • Demands emotional support at all times when they need it, regardless of what you’re doing

9.    It Teaches You About Yourself

Sometimes, setting boundaries uncovers facts about you that you hadn’t considered before. As you do your best to support these boundaries, you’ll also discover why you need them and where they came from. Here are some freeing and empowering things you may learn about yourself through boundaries, according to Gionta:

·         Your Past

When you set boundaries, you may begin to realize how your past has influenced your need for them. This is especially true if you’re beginning to set boundaries with family. What led to the necessity of this limit for you?

·         Your Emotions

Setting boundaries puts you deeply in touch with your emotions as they occur. Typically, resentment and discomfort are the biggest signs that people are starting to slip through your defined limits. This means you’ll get more and more used to being aware of and in tune with your feelings.

·         Your Environment

Before you put up boundaries, you might have thought everything about your living and/or workspaces was completely fine. After setting these boundaries, though, you might have to confront the reality that your environment may be toxic for you. It’s jarring to realize but fixing it will be positive for you in the long run.

boundariesFinal Thoughts On How Strict Boundaries Can Set You Free

Setting strict boundaries makes it clear to you and everyone around you that there are things that are simply off-limits with you. Sure, not all boundaries have to be inflexible, but those that are can’t be shaken, and that’s important to have in your life.

Remember, you’re a worthy human being who deserves respect and compassion. Someone who doesn’t comply with that isn’t worthy of your time. Setting boundaries is a clear sign that you respect yourself and care for your wellbeing. It can be difficult to maintain these boundaries at first, but they will set you free!

Amazing Boy Starts a Dog Rescue Program and Saves Hundreds of Lives

Roman started his very own dog rescue program he saw so many dogs get put down. At that time, he lived in Texas At just 4 years old, he wanted to help dogs when he found out that many of them never saw life outside of a shelter. Unfortunately, Texas has many kill shelters due to overcrowding or not enough adopting families.

Roman explained:

“Me and my mom started going to shelters and making videos for the dogs, and when we moved away from Texas to Washington, we still wanted to help.”

That’s when Project Freedom Ride, their rescue program for shelter dogs, got started. The dog rescue program started by Roman and his mom helps rehome dogs by connecting them with willing adopters. Even though they no longer lived in Texas, they knew many of those dogs still needed loving homes to go to. Fewer dogs up north needed adopting, so they focused on the ones back home who still needed their help.

 

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Roman and Mom start dog rescue, Project Freedom Ride

The program began in December 2016 and is still going strong today. Project Freedom Ride connects unwanted, abandoned dogs (and a few cats) in Georgia and Texas with dog rescues and families in the Pacific Northwest. Jen, Roman’s mom and co-founder of PFR, says they felt inspired to start the program when they got firsthand exposure to kill shelters. They adopted a dog named Luna from a shelter in Texas while living there from 2013-2016.

She and Roman started volunteering at the shelter, and made videos to get the faces of the dogs out there. However, in the summer of 2016, they had to move to Washington when Jen’s husband got orders to serve overseas. They didn’t want to give up helping the dogs, so they brainstormed how they could still work to rehome them.

Jen would joke with Texas dog rescues about an underground railroad for dogs up to Washington. This blossomed into the dog rescue program they started which still helps thousands of dogs find homes.

“The world for a dog, generally speaking, was so much better up here in Washington than down there in Texas. So it was born….on December 6th, 2016 Project Freedom Ride had its first transport of 31 dogs from Texas to Washington.”

 

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The dog rescue flourished

“Since then, Project Freedom Ride has saved almost 2,000 dogs (and some cats) from euthanasia. We have grown very organically over the years which is what we love, we believe people recognize the love, compassion, and hard work of our “group” and want to get behind our cause. We are constantly growing and expanding; in no way did Roman or I see this when we had our first transport,” Jen says on their website.

Now, they have started to coordinate transports to other parts of the U.S., as they now live in Georgia. Roman’s dream of helping dogs find loving homes continues to expand, and other people seem to share this dream with him. The fight to save dogs from euthanasia and find adopters has spread all over the country, and the journey is just beginning.

Roman says he’s always grown up with dogs. So he wanted other dogs to get the chance of having a good life, too. “We’ve been helping for a long time, and I believe that no dog deserves a life in a kennel,” he says. Roman loves seeing dogs go from living in a cement shelter to a comfortable home where their families adore them. Dogs in shelters hardly get interaction with other dogs or humans, and don’t have much outdoor time.

 

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However, Roman says that what keeps him going is seeing those dogs get to “start living the greatest life ever.”

He lives for the happy moments where a dog that would’ve been euthanized gets adopted by a loving family. He says this makes it all worth it, because every dog deserves to have a full life outside of a shelter.

“I wanted to help, so I did something. As that grew, I had the abilities to help others.”

Final thoughts about Project Freedom Ride

As the word spread about his dog rescue program, other groups started helping out as well. Roman said that they went from helping one dog at a time to thousands of dogs each month. He doesn’t want to stop until every dog out there finds a good home and gets to live its best life. At a young age, he realized his mission on Earth, and his passion for helping dogs never went away.

“I want to play my part very well to help this world become a better place for all those unwanted animals.”

He says if you want to get involved with helping rehome shelter dogs, you can take action in many different ways. “You can foster, you can adopt and volunteer, and you can donate. At the end of the day, all those things can help this world become a better place for all those unwanted animals.”

If you’d like to help Project Freedom Ride directly, you can donate on the website, buy PFR merchandise, or adopt one of their dogs. All transports depend entirely on donations, so every little bit counts. They say that transports can cost anywhere from $5,000 – $15,000 per month depending on the transporter and number of dogs. Texas rescues take care of all vet costs pre-transport, so the operation truly depends on the public to continue.

We can all do our part to help abandoned dogs, because every animal should get a chance at a fulfilling life. No matter if you adopt, donate, foster, or volunteer, your efforts matter. For more information about Project Freedom Ride, please visit their website here.

Counselors Reveal 10 Ways to Banish Anger for a More Peaceful Life

Do you long for a peaceful life where your mood is happy and stable? You should know that being angry is a normal part of your emotional cycles, but many people haven’t learned how to channel this negative energy effectively.

Anger is one of the emotions that can get out of control. During this state of mind, you may find yourself saying or doing things you don’t mean. It’s as if another being takes over your body, and you spew venom from somewhere inside you.

If you want to be a positive person and have people who enjoy being around you, you need to learn how to control your anger. Here are some simple ways that you can channel your negative emotions into positive energy.

1. Learn Your Triggers

By now, you probably know what triggers your irritations in life. Perhaps, your children keep throwing their leftover cereal down the drain and clogging the sink. Perhaps, it’s a coworker that keeps slacking on the job and giving you their extra work.

Everyone has things in their life that are hard to deal with, but it’s learning effective ways to deal with these things that are important. If you want a peaceful life, you need to identify the things that send you over the edge. Once you recognize these things, then you can work on effective coping skills.

Rather than getting into a verbal altercation with your coworker, it would help if you took the matter to someone in an authority position. When you see you’re too close to the red zone, then back off and let someone else handle it.

2. Avoid People Who Make You Angry

peaceful lifeEveryone has relatives or coworkers that just push all the wrong buttons. If you know that someone is full of negative energy and it affects you, then avoid them at all costs.

Should the person be someone you work or live with, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your position to have peace in your life. Counselors warn that toxic relationships and friendships can be a cause for anger and rage. But you have the power to control those negative feelings.

3. Learn to Bite Your Tongue

Let’s assume that you’re walking in the mall and a group of teenagers call you a derogatory name. Your first response would be to spout something back to them to make yourself feel better. However, that’s not how you live a peaceful life.

In this situation, you need to remove yourself before your anger gets the best of you. Remember, these are teens, and they’re known for saying flippant things when they’re trying to show off.

Anything you say is just going to bring you down to their level. Don’t even let this situation affect you. Just bite your tongue and walk away.

4. Let it Go

It would help if you got to a place in your life where you can let things roll off your back. If you get upset over every little thing, then it indicates a bigger problem. Things that happen to you every day can set you off, but you need to learn just to let things go.

Pick and choose your battles wisely because not everything is worth your anger. Those who live a peaceful life will tell you that if you want contentment and happiness, you will learn to ignore ignorance.

5. Shift Your Focus

It’s easy to focus on all the troubles and things that get you down. However, to gain more positive energy in your life, why not forget about all the bad stuff and focus on the good. Counting your blessings can change your whole attitude, and it can give you a new outlook on life.

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6. Write Down Your Feelings

Sometimes life is too much to handle no matter how much you try. You want a peaceful life, but you feel like there’s a black cloud following you around. If you want to avoid taking your anger out on someone else, then put your feelings in writing.

Many studies have shown that journaling is a great way to get out those feelings that eat you alive. Have you ever seen someone that walks around with a chip on their shoulder? They’re like a time bomb just waiting to explode.

People tiptoe on eggshells around that person because they are afraid they will explode at any minute. Don’t hold things inside you because it’s only going to cause you physical distress. According to psychologists, journaling is a safe outlet to get your feelings out and to reflect on your life.

7. Learn to Meditate

Meditation is a great way to ease the angst you feel inside. You will learn to calm your breathing, center your focus, and align your spiritual man with your physical one.

Meditation has recently become popular in America as people are looking for non-medicative ways to calm down. The best thing about meditation is that you can do it at any time or place, especially when you start to feel your anger boiling inside. You can stop any issues by merely meditating for a few minutes.

8. Take a Walk in Nature

Have you ever heard a coach tell a football player to “walk it off?” Sometimes games can be extremely competitive, and people let their emotions get the best of them. Taking a walk gives the player time to cool down before something bad happens.

Using the same theory, sometimes you just need to walk off your anger. It’s hard to be in a foul mood when you see all the splendor of Mother Nature. If you need something to help you on your journey to find a peaceful life, then observe the trees, flowers, the smell of a gentle breeze, and all there is in the great outdoors.

9. Use Counting Exercises

Has anyone ever told you to stop and count to ten when parenting a child? This is so important because it gives you time to think before you speak or act. Your words or actions can be detrimental to a child when they’re expressed in anger.

You must learn to count and take a “time out” when you are in a situation that angers you. Try it next time someone or something is about to make your pot boil over with rage. You will be surprised how much of a difference it makes.

10. Try Anger Management Classes

Sometimes, some people have a significant issue with their anger that requires professional help. Maybe you like to throw things, hit people, or engage in behaviors that could get you in serious trouble. Anger management classes are made for people with these issues.

These classes will teach you practical ways to deal with the rage you feel inside. People often find that abuse from childhood or another situation that happened to them is what’s causing this anger. Thankfully, it can be appropriately channeled and conquered to help you live a peaceful life.

peaceful lifeFinal Thoughts About Banishing Anger for a More Peaceful Life

Did you know that the number one trigger for anger is uncontrolled stress? It’s fascinating to learn that the body goes into overload and then begins lashing out. Here are some other facts about rage you didn’t know.

  • When you’re angry, your body releases both cortisol and adrenaline, which is known as the two stress hormones. You’re putting your body under undue stress when you give in to this emotion.
  • The pressure in your blood vessels begins to rise when you’re in a fit of rage. You may feel your heart race as your blood pressure increases. Sadly, you can get so enraged that it can cause you to have a heart attack. Anger does damage to your heart if it’s chronic.
  • Exercise is a great way to reduce your anger. Your irritation uses a great deal of your strength that’s stored in your muscles. You can quickly put things back into balance by merely doing a quick workout.
  • Did you know that when you’re hungry, you’re more apt to let your anger get the best of you? If you know that you’re going to be dealing with stressful situations, then make sure to keep your stomach full.
  • Shockingly, women are more likely to get mad than men, but men usually resort to violence when they have fits of anger. Women tend to use their words, while men prefer physical altercation.
  • Anger can directly affect your brain. When you are mad all the time, it stops the production of neurons in your mind. Thus, if you have anger management issues, your brain growth will be slower than usual.

Lastly, anger can be used as a motivation tool to do better. It doesn’t always have to be such a negative emotion. The key is to learn how to channel this emotion properly.

It can help drive you to get a better job, a more excellent car, or to have a peaceful life. Once you master how to control your emotions, then you will learn how to get all you want out of life.

Experts Reveal 8 Ways To Put Boredom to Work For You

Boredom can be frustrating and inconvenient, and most people would prefer never to have to deal with such an emotion. But did you know that you can turn boredom into more impressive results if you know how to use it to your advantage?

That’s right – boredom can be a good thing! All you have to do is learn to take hold of it and manipulate it to suit your needs. Here is how scientific research makes experts reveal eight ways to make boredom work for you.

1.    Think Of Projects To Fill Your Time With

Boredom often means you have time to spare, and what better way to use that time than by filling it with a new project or two?

This spare time is precisely why the University of Central Lancashire’s Dr. Sandi Mann thinks being bored can be a positive thing. He explains that he thinks up many great ideas during the would-be dead time of his morning commute. This prevents the boredom from sinking in too harshly while keeping him productive!

So think about your life and your talents. What kind of projects can you embark on? Think about them and their details during short moments of boredom. The act of daydreaming has vast positive effects on overall creativity, so your boredom can make you more creative!

2.    Recognize the Importance of Boredom

boredomBoredom isn’t without value. It’s the brain’s chance to take a day off and rest. People often underestimate what happens when you’re mentally exhausted. Too much strain on your mental frame of mind, and you could wind up burned out, unable to be productive, and lacking positive thinking.

Boredom forces you to stop and rest, and that’s pretty important in the grand scheme of things, so don’t take it for granted. Make sure you understand why boredom is, sometimes, necessary.

3.    Take An Interest In Boredom

Boredom is, on the surface, the very definition of something that’s not interesting. But you can choose to take an interest in that boredom. That’s something that Harvard Medical School psychologist and Harvard Special Health Report Positive Psychology medical editor Dr. Ronald Siegel wholeheartedly recommends.

The goal is to think about the exact emotions you are experiencing at the point of boredom. What lies beneath the surface? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Are you experiencing negative emotions besides boredom?
  • What is causing those negative emotions?
  • How can you overcome those negative emotions?
  • Is the boredom fed by the negativity or the other way around?
  • What can you do to prevent this occurrence in the future?

4.    Learn Something New

The brain is a mysterious thing. It’s always craving a little something new to learn. The problem is that once we get to a certain age, learning new things becomes less and less common.

But in the digital age of the Internet, there isn’t any excuse for not leaping on unlimited information access to fill your free time. This is probably why business writer Janet Choi at the career development site. The Muse is a big proponent of learning new subjects with online resources.

Here are some ideas for learning new things:

  • Take a class on an exciting subject.
  • Watch online videos about different topics.
  • Take an online course.
  • Tag along with friends or family to one of their activities
  • Go somewhere you’ve never been before
  • Try to discover a hidden talent.
  • Take the next step in furthering your hobby or an already present skill.

Aside from just beating boredom, there are plenty of benefits to continuing to learn new things regularly. You’re picking up usable skills for the future. You’re boosting your cognitive ability. And, of course, you have more productive ways to occupy your time!

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5.    Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves practices that make you more aware of the space and time you currently inhabit. Those who have seen mindfulness meditation may be unsure as to how that act can help alleviate boredom. The answer is this: mindfulness needs you to stay “present” in the current moment, and this can help activate your dulled senses.

This is also a great way to embrace boredom. Instead of desperately trying to figure out how to keep yourself occupied, you’re choosing to sit still and be at peace with not having anything to do. On top of that, given the many benefits that mindfulness has been found to have for mental health and positive thinking, you’re also doing yourself a service.

The reasoning behind mindfulness as a practice to combat boredom is this. It moves you from the process of thinking to the process of merely feeling and experiencing, so your mind focuses on itself rather than on the perceived lack of stimulation. Here’s a good mindfulness practice to combat boredom:

·         Step 1: Sight

Start by taking an object in your hands that is very familiar to you. Look at it carefully and pretend that you’ve never, ever seen it in your life. This will involve slowly pushing away the honest thoughts associated with this item and start anew. Turn it around and peruse it. Is there something about it you’ve never noticed before? Or does it, without an accompanying memory, become relatively meaningless?

·         Step 2: Touch

Now, repeat what you did in step 1, but with another familiar object. Instead of observing it visually, now what you’ll want to do is pretend you’ve never touched this item before. Please pay close attention to its texture, its ridges or curves or lines, and how interaction with it feels.

·         Step 3: Other Senses

You’ve got the gist now – it’s time to do the same thing for other senses. Look for familiar items in your environment, like the sound of the fan whirring, the taste of your favorite candy, or the scent of your perfume. Approach them as if you’ve never seen them before and discover them in new ways!

·         Step 4: Application

Once you’ve gotten the hang of this sort of mindfulness, start applying it to your everyday life. If you’re struck by boredom, remove your memories of your current event from their influence over you. Treat everything like a new experience. How are you engaging with this brand new world? It’s a great way to bust boredom.

6.    Do Something Quick Or Small

Sometimes, boredom is caused by doing the same thing for too long a period. In order to remedy this, you need a break from the norms of your current work. Here are some ways to get this break:

·         Do Something Quick

Stuck with a long task that you’re bored with? Please put it on pause for a short time and do something that can be completed quickly and efficiently. This way, you’re managing to help relieve boredom by doing something that is still productive!

·         Go For A Walk

Stand up, stretch, and walk around for five to ten minutes. This can kick your brain into gear and give you the change of scenery your mind is demanding. It’s also an excellent way to remain active, even at sedentary jobs.

·         Do A Small Bit Of Work

Muscle through your current task that you’re bored with by setting yourself a very tiny goal. The motivation provided by a plan that may have a reward if you choose can be all your brain needs to force you through a hurdle. Once you’ve gotten that little bit done, you’ve earned a change of scene for a little while.

7.    Think About What It Says About You

For years, people have made jokes about boredom, claiming that only people who are boring can experience boredom. York University’s Boredom Lab director, John Eastwood, has debunked this thought again and again. He is a firm believer, in fact, in the idea of boredom having a deeper meaning, and his research has found truth in that.

Eastwood states that it’s actually a “crisis” of sorts that is trying to make you reflect on yourself and the way you engage with the world around you. As such, when you’re bored, you should be looking inwards and seeking more profound meaning. To better understand this concept, here’s what Eastwood found in his research.

  • There are two distinct personality types that experience boredom.
  • The first personality kind is impulsive individuals who crave new experiences; they need to seek ways to occupy themselves.
  • The second personality kind is anxious individuals who do not ever want to leave their comfort zone, instead of withdrawing to what they know out of fear and pain sensitivity.

If you suffer from severe boredom, the chances are that you’re one of these two personality types. As such, your first step in looking inward is determining which of these types you are. Once you know, you’ll be able to figure out how to overcome it very quickly. If you’re the first type, you will look for better ways to expand your horizons. If you’re the second, you will work on improving your anxiety symptoms so you can step out into the world.

8.    Practice Self-Reflection

This advice ties in closely with the previous point. Use your spare time to reflect. Choi states that even spending just a small amount of time performing self-reflection can vastly improve how well you know yourself. This self-reflection can:

  • Show you where your potential can be maximized
  • Make you realize areas that need improvement
  • Give you an idea that kickstarts your motivation
  • Allow you some time to rest from current projects and take a step back to see the bigger picture
  • Make you ponder how you’ve been spending your time and if it has been productive

So the next time you feel bored, stop, and look inward. Reflect on your life so far. You can even write this musing down in a journal if you want to! Whatever way you choose to do this task, you can be sure that you’ll come away from your moment of free time with positive knowledge that you can put to use.

boredomFinal Thoughts On Learning Some Ways To Make Boredom Work For You

The next time you feel bored, take a deep breath, and try one of these eight ways to make boredom work for you. Instead of trying to chase away the boredom, use it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and do better. Who knows? That boredom might even be what sparks your next great project!

Psychology Reveals How Self-Reflection May Boost Your Social IQ

You’ve probably heard of IQ before – the measure of the intelligence you’re born with. However, people also have a social IQ, which is something you learn or develop throughout life. Having a high social IQ can help you navigate through life easily.

If you’ve ever wondered how you can increase your social IQ, you’re not alone. The good news is that research shows it could be as easy as doing a little self-reflection. Since social IQ is mostly learned, knowing yourself better could be the key to increasing it.

What is Social IQ?

Social intelligence is how you interact with the world. A more rudimentary description is to call it street smarts or even common sense. It encompasses building relationships and navigating social environments. It’s people skills.

Social intelligence is a learned skill. It’s affected by what you’re exposed to in life paired with characteristics of your personality. Your home life, religion, morals, values, friends, school, and more can all shape your social IQ.

Signs of Social Intelligencesocial iq

  • A Great ListenerA person with a high social IQ knows that listening is just as important as talking. They’re able to make a connection with people and make people feel understood. Even in a debate, a person with social intelligence can hear the other person’s side of the issue without dismissing their concerns.
  • Excellent ConversationalistPeople enjoy listening to someone who has a high level of social intelligence. People with high social IQ’s can strike up conversations with anyone. When they’re in a conversation, they’re completely comfortable and possibly even humorous. More importantly, their conversations carry meaning, are organized, and are memorable to whomever they’re speaking with.
  • Considerate of Their ReputationIn this world, reputation is everything, and people with a high social IQ are very aware of this fact. This elicits actions and communication that is attractive to the masses. They are careful not to do anything taboo, or that would sully their reputation. More importantly, they do this by always encouraging positive interactions with the people they meet.
  • CharismaticA person with a high social IQ can often be identified as the social butterfly in the room, making people smile and laugh while still getting business accomplished. It may seem as if these people never meet a stranger. The charisma comes from combining the first three signs. Someone adept at listening, talking, and making a good impression will inevitably be charismatic.

Why Social Intelligence is Important

Even if you’re an introvert who enjoys keeping to yourself, you’ll still interact with people. No one goes through this life alone. You’ll have to interact with bill collectors, people at work, family members, friends, and even pets. Social IQ will help you effectively navigate those relationships and the situations that arise from them.

The most important skill that arises from a high social IQ is communication. It’s is imperative that you’re able to communicate effectively in life. Everything you do requires communication, whether it’s verbal, non-verbal, visual, or written. Your level of communication can directly impact your quality of life.

Having a good level of social intelligence makes you a better person. You’ll be able to understand people better, respond to people better, tolerate cultural differences, and be more patient with people. You’ll be able to get along with others well, which is the key to excelling in life.

Self-Reflection: A Key Component of Building Your Social IQ

Self-reflecting is when you seriously think about character, actions, values, motives, and goals. You could do it through meditation, which is popular, or you could sit somewhere quietly and think. In other words, it’s purposefully thinking about yourself as a subject of study.

Therapist and author Paul Coleman, Ph.D., says, “I think people who self-evaluate do so because they know they do not have all the answers, they are imperfect, and they know that their circumstances eventually change.” Many people use self-reflecting to think about decisions they’ve made in the past and how it affected their lives. If they’re receptive to their thoughts, they’ll use this reflection to become a better person.

However, the best use of self-reflection is using it in the moment or in real-time to make better decisions. This is the ultimate goal that people should strive to achieve. Imagine if you could learn to self-reflect at the moment of an impactful decision and make the right decision every time. It would be empowering to be able to do that.

Self-reflecting is a skill that takes practice. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. You must remember to be honest with yourself. No one is going to hear your inner thoughts, so, even if it hurts, tell yourself the truth to reap the maximum benefits from self-reflection.

Once you become good at it, you can use this skill to build your social IQ. You can self-reflect at the moment to understand your social interactions and how they’re affecting others. Then you can adjust your responses immediately if needed.

meditateHow to Self-Reflect

There is no perfect way to self-reflect. However, certain guiding principles can help you become more effective at it. Psychologists have been studying the art of self-reflection almost since it became a “thing” and have found certain methods and environments that help the process. Here are a few suggestions on how to begin and become better at self-reflecting.

Isolate Yourself

Susan L. Taylor said it best when she said, “We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly – spending quiet time alone allows your mind to renew itself and create order.” As the founder & CEO of the National CARES Mentoring Movement & Editor-in-Chief Emeritus of Essence Magazine, it’s no surprise that she is frequently in search of quiet time for self-reflecting. It’s imperative that you self-reflect in a peaceful, quiet place that is free of distractions. This will allow your mind the freedom to roam to those far-reaching corners of your thoughts without limitations or judgment.

Ask Yourself Questions

It helps if you organize your self-reflecting time. You can do this by having a set of targeted questions that you ask yourself. To ask yourself the right questions, you need a focus on your self-reflecting. Are you self-reflecting on your career choices? Your family interactions? Perhaps, you’re self-reflecting on how you treat your friends. Whatever the purpose of your self-reflection, create a set of questions around it.

For example, if you’re self-reflecting on your career performance, here are some examples of questions you could ask yourself for introspection:

  1. Do I use my time wisely?
  2. Am I waking up in the right state of mind to tackle my day?
  3. Are my goals realistic?
  4. Am I taking care of myself physically?
  5. Do I genuinely care about my team?

By asking yourself relevant questions, you can get the most out of your self-reflecting session. You’ll be able to identify better your strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for improvement.

Be Open with Yourself and Don’t Restrict Your Emotions.

This is the time to let it all come out. Clear your mind, go on a nature walk, read a book, or do whatever you need to do to calm your spirit. Then, when you ask yourself the questions you’ve prepared, don’t block any of your thoughts or feelings.

If you need to cry, do it. If you feel like laughing maniacally, go for it. Perhaps you need to look in the mirror so you can face yourself eye to eye. All or any of this is fine, as long as you are completely honest with yourself.

It can be scary to be this open with yourself at first. However, it becomes easy with practice, so you should schedule a time to self-reflect as often as you can.

social iqFinal Thoughts on Boosting Your Social IQ With Self-Reflection

After reading this information, it should be obvious that people with high social IQ are very aware of themselves and what they offer to the world. Social intelligence may be defined as how you interact with the world, but its heart is how you interact. Without reflecting on yourself, you may not be aware of how you interact.

That is precisely how reflecting on yourself can build your social IQ. You’ll begin to see patterns and behaviors that you may or may not like. You can then change the ones that hinder you from being the person you want to be.

Self-reflection is a tool that, when used properly, can enrich your life. As Nobel Prize Nominee Bryant McGill says, “People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind-spot.” If you make self-reflection a regular part of your life, your social IQ will rise, and you’ll open your eyes to possibilities you never knew existed.

Scientists Unveil Cutting-edge Exosuit To Aid in Stroke Rehabilitation

After suffering from a stroke, many patients get transferred to a stroke rehabilitation center or nursing home. These units have specific equipment and therapies that allow patients to make a partial or full recovery. According to the National Institute of Health physicians, the rehabilitation required after a stroke varies depending upon the nature and severity. It takes some patients weeks or months to recover, but for others, it may take years of therapy and cause life-long disability.

Usually, stroke victims will undergo the following types of therapies in rehab:

  • Speech therapy – many people who suffer a stroke have difficulty speaking or understanding language afterward. A speech therapist will work with you on relearning how to communicate clearly and coherently after a stroke.
  • Physical therapy – incorporates exercises and stretching into your routine to help you regain movement and coordination.
  • Occupational therapy – helps you relearn to perform daily activities, such as dressing, eating, bathing, and reading.

Here are some statistics about the prevelance of strokes in the USA

Stroke statistics (from the CDC)

In 2018, stroke accounted for 1 in every six deaths from cardiovascular disease.

  • Someone in the United States suffers a stroke roughly every 40 seconds. Every 4 minutes, someone dies of a stroke.
  • Annually, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke. About 610,000 of these are first time strokes.
  • About 185,000 strokes—nearly 1 in 4—occur in people who have had a previous stroke.
  • Approximately 87% of all strokes are ischemic strokes, where blood flow to the brain becomes blocked.
  • The cost of treating strokes in the US was around $46 billion between 2014 and 2015. This figure includes the costs of various health care services, medicines for treating stroke, and missed days of work.
  • Strokes are the leading cause of severe long-term disabilities worldwide. Stroke reduces mobility in over half of stroke survivors aged 65 and over.
  • Having a stroke is the fifth-leading cause of death for Americans.

stroke rehabilitationSigns and symptoms of stroke

At the first sign of a stroke, one may suddenly feel any combination of one or more of the following:

  • Numbness, droopiness, or weakness in the face, arms, or legs–especially on one side of the body.
  • Feelings of confusion, difficulty with speaking, or slurred or hard-to-understand speech.
  • Impaired vision or not seeing well out of one or both eyes.
  • Difficulty walking, dizziness, loss of balance, or lack of coordination.
  • Severe headache with no known cause.

If you believe that someone is having a stroke, follow the FAST guidelines to perform a simple test. This knowledge works best within three hours of noticing symptoms so they can get to the hospital in time.

  • F—Face: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop, or is the person’s smile lopsided?
  • A—Arms: Ask the person to raise both of their arms. Does one arm drift or droop downward, or is one arm weak or numb?
  • S—Speech: Ask the person to repeat one simple phrase. Is the speech slurry or hard to understand?
  • T—Time: If you see any of these first signs, even if they go away after a short time, call 911 immediately.

Risk factors for stroke

  • High blood pressure
  • High cholesterol
  • Smoking
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes

These are the leading causes of stroke in the US, and 1 in 3 Americans has at least one (or any random combination) of these conditions or habits. Other risk factors include heavy alcohol consumption, physical inactivity, and an unhealthy diet. Other conditions that raise your risk include previous stroke, heart disease, and sickle cell disease.

For those who have suffered a stroke, they will typically undergo physical therapy to get them back to work and everyday life. To aid in stroke rehabilitation, scientists have constructed a robotic exosuit to help patients with mobility problems.

ischemic stroke

Never ignore these nine warning signs of an ischemic stroke.

The cutting edge robotic exosuit that will aid in stroke rehabilitation:

A team of US researchers recently performed a multi-center, single-arm trial of a robotic exosuit for stroke rehabilitation called ReWalk ReStore™. This suit provides gait training in individuals recovering from a stroke who have mobility issues. Supervised by physical therapists, they tested it during treadmill and overground walking and found the device safe and reliable. The study originally published in the Journal of NeuroEngineering and Rehabilitation on June 18, 2020.

Scientists involved in the study include:

  • Louis N. Awad, PT, DPT, Ph.D., of Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital, Boston, MA,
  • Alberto Esquenazi, MD, of MossRehab Stroke and Neurological Disease Center, Elkins Park, PA,
  • Gerard E. Francisco, MD, of TIRR Memorial Hermann, Houston, TX,
  • Karen J, Nolan, Ph.D., of Kessler Foundation, West Orange, NJ,
  • and lead investigator Arun Jayaramam, PT, Ph.D., of the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab, Chicago, IL

The first soft robotic exosuit approved by the FDA for stroke rehabilitation, the ReStore™, aids those with mobility deficits. Specifically, the device is designed for survivors with a condition called hemiplegia under the supervision of licensed physical therapists. Hemiplegia causes weakness in the ankles, which makes walking and climbing steps nearly impossible. Patients who suffer from this must compensate by having abnormal walking patterns, which decrease stability.

ReStore augments ankle plantarflexion and dorsiflexion, which helps with gait training and stability. Motors mounted on a waist belt send power through cables to attachment fixtures on an insole and the patient’s calf. They next clipped sensors to the patient’s shoes to transmit data to a handheld smartphone controller manned by a trained therapist. He or she adjusts levels of assistance and records data from the gait training.

The study

The exosuit trial involved 44 participants with post-stroke hemiparesis who could walk unassisted for 5 feet. They had to undergo five days of 20-minute sessions of treadmill and ground training while being supervised by physical therapists.

To analyze the therapeutic potential for ReStore in stroke rehabilitation, the researchers also noted how the device affected maximum walking speed. The researchers asked participants to walk 10 meters in and out of the device to assess their walking speed. Some participants had the use of a cane during the tests because of safety considerations. The trial found the exosuit to be safe, reliable, and feasible in stroke rehabilitation.

“We found that the ReStore provided targeted assistance for plantar flexion and dorsiflexion of the paretic ankle, improving the gait pattern,” said Dr. Nolan, a senior research scientist in the Center for Mobility and Rehabilitation Engineering Research at Kessler Foundation. “This is an important first step toward expanding options for rehabilitative care for the millions of individuals with mobility impairments caused by ischemic and hemorrhagic stroke.”

The initial trial found that training using the exosuit resulted in faster walking speeds after the therapy in this stroke population. More than one-third of the participants saw a dramatic increase in unassisted walking speeds. Thus, scientists will do further research on the positive effects of the exosuit training in the future.

While this breakthrough in stroke rehabilitation shows promise for the future, strokes still can cause lifelong disability. If you have some of the risk factors for stroke, make sure to follow these guidelines to help prevent them.

Preventing stroke

  • Eat a healthy diet. You can lower your personal risk of having a stroke by eating a diet high in fiber, including fruits, veggies, grains, nuts, and seeds. Avoid or limit foods high in saturated and trans fats and cholesterol, causing high cholesterol. Eat foods low in salt to lower blood pressure as well. High blood pressure and, or course, high cholesterol are the two leading causes of stroke.
  • Maintain a healthy weight. This target number will vary depending on your height, age, and bone structure. In general, you want to keep body fat in a healthy range and have the right muscle to fat ratio.
  • Physical activity does not only keeps your body healthy, but it also promotes mental wellness too. Stress can cause high blood pressure and has been linked to heart attacks and strokes. Therefore, you should aim for around 2.5 to 3 hours of intense aerobic activity per week. Make sure to add resistance training into your regimen as well to build muscle and lower fat.
  • Avoid smoking. Smoking cigarettes significantly increases your chance of having a stroke.
  • Limit alcohol consumption. Alcohol raises blood pressure, which increases your risk of stroke. Men should have a maximum of two alcoholic drinks a day and women no more than one.

stroke rehabilitationFinal thoughts on the cutting-edge exosuit to help with stroke rehabilitation

Scientists continue to unveil new and exciting methods and therapies to heal from conditions such as stroke. The robotic exosuit called ReWalk ReStore could potentially help thousands of people recover after having a stroke. For now, it’s only been tested on patients suffering from hemiplegia, which causes weakness in the ankles. However, who knows how it might be utilized in the future for stroke recovery.

Suffering from a stroke is the fifth leading cause of death for Americans. While many people make a full recovery, it’s also the leading cause of serious long-term disability worldwide. The CDC says that up to 80% of strokes are preventable with healthy lifestyle habits and management of pre-existing conditions. Make sure to eat plenty of fruits and veggies, exercise, keep stress low, and avoid smoking and overconsumption of alcohol.

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