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15 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Social Skills to Decrease Loneliness

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Is your child a young socialite, or does he battle loneliness? One of the best gifts you can ever give as a parent is to teach him how to get along well with others. Get the conversation started with these 15 tips to improve your child’s social skills.

Children are not born with social skills. Multiple studies concur that children learn these behaviors from birth through preschool years–and beyond. Further, children who can better read situations and responses by others enjoy stronger friendships and are less lonely. We’ll explore the habits you can instill in your child to help them develop this skillset.

15 Ways You Can Help Bolster Your Child’s Social Skills

Here are fifteen things that you can do to help ensure your child learns to interact positively with others.

1. Improve Your Social Skills

If you want your child to learn good social skills, you must have good ones yourself. Whatever social habits you model, your child will imitate. Do you socialize well with others, or could do you need to improve?

The next time you talk with friends or family, notice how engaged you are in the conversation. Are you playing an active role and mirroring the emotions of others? Are you actively listening, or are you being a wallflower?

Remember that your child is watching, and he will probably mimic you in his social situations.

2. Encourage Him to Ask Questions

social skillsNothing stumps a good conversation like awkward silence, especially when meeting new people. When you teach your child how to ask the right kind of questions, it will keep the conversation rolling, and his social interaction will become more natural.

Practice conversations and show him how to ask open-ended questions, which requires more than a “yes” or “no.” Instead of asking, “Do you like to play video games?” ask, “What are your favorite video games to play?” Good open-ended questions usually begin with who, what, why, when, and how.

3. Play Make-Believe Together

Playing make-believe is the earliest socializing game that children learn. Not only does it teach them empathy, but it encourages creativity and individuality. Wouldn’t childhood be filled with loneliness without the blissful Land of Make-Believe?

Stimulate your child’s imagination and play pretend with her. Maybe she is a beautiful princess that rules a land of flower fairies, or maybe she is a warrior protecting her homeland from invading goblins. Make-believing is essential to building a child’s social skills, creativity, and discovering the world around her.

4. Make Play Dates for Her

Sometimes, you hear your child mention a name or two of children from school or in her social circle. Do you take the time to talk to her about her friends? Have you ever met any of her friends or their families?

One of the best ways to teach your child good social skills is to watch her interact with peers. Meet her friends and their parents and schedule playtime for the children to build trust and friendship. You can occasionally set up virtual playdates so the kids can chat online, with supervision.

5. Explore Hobbies and Other Interests

When your child learns to pursue a passion, he will have something of interest to discuss with others. Even younger children can have favorite hobbies and things they are interested in exploring.

Talk to him about the things that make him happy or catch his interest. His only limitation is his imagination. It can be anything from reading, music, art, sports, gaming, or anything else fun. Then, he can talk to other kids with similar interests.

6. Play Socially Interactive Games

Remember the good old days before video games came on the scene? Traditional games are excellent tools for teaching children how to interact with others.

They can cultivate critical thinking and teach them the appropriate ways to take turns. Bring out some classic board games from your childhood and show the new generation how to have fun without technology.

If you and your family have an affinity for electronics, you can also find appropriate video games to play with your child. You can also set up times when she can play video games with her siblings or friends.

Video games can enhance your child’s social skills if playing is moderated and doesn’t replace playing with kids in person.

7. Adopt a Pet

If your child complains of loneliness and boredom, why not adopt a family pet? Local shelters are full of loving cats and dogs that are just waiting for a forever home. Plus, caring for a pet can offer your child lessons about responsibility, empathy, and playful interaction.

You may need to help with the new pet, depending on your child’s age. Little ones can help feed and water pets and play with them. Consider your family’s lifestyle and schedule before you commit to adopting a pet. Some pets require more care than others.

beat anxiety8. Role Play to Understand Problems

What if your child is having problems socializing at school or other gatherings? Should you be forthright with your observations and tell her that she is too shy and needs to talk more? This approach may aggravate her, and she may go deeper into her shell.

Instead, approach the subject sensitively and do some role-playing. Act like you are a kid, and the two of you have just met. There may be some uncomfortable silence initially, but you can give some gentle suggestions and conversation starters.

9. Teach and Model Empathy

If you aren’t an empathetic person, you can’t expect your child to be one. Empathy is a trait that children learn from their parents and other significant adults. It’s much easier to teach your child how to feel empathy for others when he sees your example.

To teach your child how to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, ask questions like “How would you feel if that happened to you?” or “How do you think Susie felt when you made a face at her?” Allowing your child to put himself in another person’s shoes helps to teach social skills and empathy.

10. Know Your Child’s Limits

Remember that your child is an individual, and not everyone is a social butterfly. Some children are natural introverts who feel comfortable spending time alone. If your child feels awkward in a crowd, learn how to socialize in smaller groups.

Children also improve their social skills as they mature. Little ones may be done playing with each other after an hour or two, while tweens and teens can spend all day laughing and talking. Know your child’s personality and respect his limits.

11. Teach Him Boundaries and Personal Space

You may hear your older child complain about the house rules, but that’s normal. Did you know that even when the kids complain, boundaries make them feel more secure and loved? Children must be taught boundaries and personal space at an early age.

Teach your child that everyone has a personal “bubble” they stay in, making them feel comfortable. Talk to them about appropriate touch and conversations and how to respect other people’s spaces. Not only does it make for better social skills, but it can minimize conflict in their adult lives.

12. Teach Her How to Be a Listener

By nature, younger children are self-absorbed because of their limited knowledge of the world around them. As you teach them how to socialize with others, an excellent skill to explain is how to be a good listener. Some adults still haven’t learned the fine art of truly listening to what others are saying.

Give age-appropriate instructions on letting the other person talk and sharing the speaker’s emotions. Practice using examples and play conversations to learn to hear what is said and repeat it back in their own words.

13. Teach About Sharing and Taking Turns

Kindergarten indeed teaches you lessons that build the foundation of your adult life. Sharing doesn’t come naturally to kids, and you must teach and model it.

When your child learns how to share and take turns, it’s a great step in early socialization patterns. Here is where empathy comes into play. Ask your child how she feels when someone shares with her or lets her have a turn.

She will learn that sharing makes everyone happy, and it makes spending time together more enjoyable.

14. Encourage Your Child to be Himself

Always remind your child that there is nobody else just like him in the world. While it’s fun to pretend to be superheroes, movie stars, or other idolized people, tell him that his best role is to be himself.

Boost your child’s confidence by offering sincere and specific compliments. Let him know that if someone doesn’t want to be his friend, it’s the other person’s loss. Self-confident children are more apt to socialize better.

15. Teach Her How to Read Social Cues

Children don’t automatically get social cues. It takes years of practice to read facial expressions, body language, and voice tone. However, you can practice with your child and give her some examples of situations when considering someone’s feelings before speaking.

social skillsFinal Thoughts on Improving Children’s Social Skills

Teaching your child how to interact with others positively can be challenging, but it’s worth the effort. The lessons she learns in the early years can dictate things as an adult.

It’s never too early to start the learning process with play dates and other interactions. A well-rounded child will know how to socialize well, and it will prove beneficial in adulthood.

Empty Nest Syndrome: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment

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As a parent, you spend decades caring for children, so experiencing an empty nest can be hard to handle. The adjustment can be a struggle, and it’s sometimes hard to figure out who you are as an individual. If you know this time of your life is coming, learning about the symptoms, causes, and treatment options can help you navigate it.

Empty nest syndrome is when you feel an overwhelming sadness and a sense of loss when your children leave home. It can lead to being unable or unwilling to let your children live autonomously. Plus, it can cause problems in your marriage or relationship.

Luckily, since many parents have been through this, there is plenty of information available. Recognizing and acknowledging the syndrome is essential because then the healing process can begin. The quietness and sense of missing something will be hard to adjust to, but there is a way to do it.

As you implement strategies for dealing with an empty nest, it will help you rediscover yourself. You will find a new normal, and you can find new opportunities or activities to help you refocus. The more knowledge you have, the better your situation will turn out.

What Is Empty Nest Syndrome?

Empty nest syndrome is a condition that refers to the grief parents might experience when their children move out. This syndrome is usually more common in women because they are the primary caregiver of the kids. It isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but it is a common condition that involves feelings of sadness and loss.

One of the reasons empty nest is such an issue is because many people don’t recognize it as grief. Grief is often associated with death rather than a normal and healthy event such as children moving out. Parents that have been through it know that the misery of children moving out is all too real.

empty nest syndromeWhat Are the Symptoms of Empty Nest Syndrome?

This syndrome is associated with quite a few symptoms, including:

  • a loss of purpose and meaning
  • feeling frustrated over lack of control
  • frequent or sudden emotional distress
  • marital stress
  • constant anxiety about your children
  • a feeling of grief and loss
  • depression
  • loneliness

What Causes Empty Nest Syndrome?

While the apparent cause is your children moving out, there are other underlying causing, including:

  • Loss of Parenthood: While mothers are more susceptible to this syndrome, it can affect either parent. After nearly 20 years of raising your children, it might feel like your most essential life role is complete. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, and you’ll likely feel unsure of the new meaning of your life.
  • Considering the Change Stressful: If you go into the situation thinking that it is stressful, you’re more likely to develop this syndrome. When you have a negative mindset from the start, it can be hard to get past it. Instead, think of it as a refreshing, new challenge.
  • Having a Negative Personal Experience: Parents that had a negative experience when they moved out of their parents’ home are more likely to suffer from an empty nest. The feelings they encountered in their past might resurface when their kids move out.
  • An Unstable Marriage: If your marriage is unstable or unhappy, you are more likely to suffer. You might realize that your children were your greatest joy, and now you don’t have them in the home. Plus, those in an unstable marriage might not have support from their spouse during this life change.
  • Worrying That Your Child Isn’t Ready: As a parent, you likely know your child better than anyone else does, including their faults. If you think they aren’t ready to take on adult responsibilities, you will experience more grief when they leave.
  • Feeling Like There is a Void in Your Life: Your days were probably filled with daily routine as you cared for your children. Now that they are gone, you might not know what to do with your time, leaving you feeling depressed.
  • Lack of Support: If you don’t have someone to lean on during this change, you are more likely to suffer from this syndrome. Lack of sympathy can make you feel even lonelier.

How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last?

The duration varies for each person. One study shows that 25% of empty nesters overcome it in less than a month. Other parents suffer for up to two years. However, on average, most empty nesters recover from their negative feelings in about three and a half months.

empty nest syndromeHow Is Empty Nest Syndrome Treated?

If you suffer from this condition, there are quite a few ways to treat it, including:

  • Reconnect With Your Partner: It is essential to reconnect with your spouse or partner after the children leave home. Try to remember how much you enjoyed each other’s time before having children. While you have both likely changed quite a bit since then, you will still be able to find ways to connect.
  • Reconnect With Yourself: As a parent, most of your thoughts and activities revolve around your children, leaving you with little time for yourself. Once your children have moved out, you will have all of that again, so take advantage and focus on reconnecting with yourself. Think about what you like, who you want to spend time with, and what you want the rest of your life to look like.
  •  Stay Busy And Find New Hobbies: It is important to stay busy and do things that make you happy. This might mean meeting up with friends regularly, exercising, or finding new hobbies. You can join clubs, sign up for a yoga or art class, or spend time learning a new skill.
  •  Find A Support System: You can’t go through this time in your life alone. Go to your friends and family members about your emotions and fears. They will be able to give you advice, reassurance, and a comforting shoulder to lean on.
  • Stay Positive: Remind yourself that this is what you worked for all these years. You worked to raise capable, strong, and successful children who are now ready to put your lessons to the test. This independence is the ultimate proof that you have succeeded in giving your children exactly what they needed to thrive.
  •  Identify Your New Role: You aren’t the same person you were before. You changed once you had children, and now you are changing again. While some of your identity will remain the same, you still have much to figure out.
  • Find New Ways To Challenge Yourself And Set New Goals: Push yourself to new limits after your children move out. You now have the time to dedicate to yourself, so see exactly what you are capable of. Set goals for yourself, starting with things you’ve always dreamed of doing.
  •  Adjust To Giving Your Child Space: You must give your child space, meaning you shouldn’t call multiple times a day to check-in. Wait for them to contact you sometimes, and avoid invading their privacy. You have to give them room to learn and grow, and it’ll be better for both of you if you do this.
  •  Plan Something Exciting: You can’t sulk around your house, dreading the silence and space. Instead, plan trips for yourself and your partner or a friend. Even if you don’t go far, you will enjoy the time spent planning, exploring, and relaxing in a new location.
  • Create A New Routine: If your weekends were once filled with events, tournaments, or other child-related activities, you have to develop a new routine. Fill your weekends with things you enjoy, such as sitting in a bookstore or spending time with friends. Once you develop this new routine, it’ll be easier to deal with your empty nest.
  • See a Professional: If you can’t seem to overcome the negative feelings associated with this condition, consider seeing a professional. They can help you overcome your emotions and live a fulfilling life once again.

Can Empty Nest Syndrome Be Prevented?

You can’t entirely prevent it, but you can do something to increase your chance of avoiding it. You can write a list of things you wanted to do but couldn’t because of your role as a parent. With that list, you can find excitement in this significant life change as it gives you something to look forward to.

Another idea is to open a line of communication with your child to promote a more robust relationship from the beginning. Ask your child about their feelings and discuss any concerns they have. You might feel better if you make a plan for keeping in touch, too.

If you were a full-time parent, consider finding a job that brings you joy. Lining up the job before your last child moves out will give you a new sense of purpose in life. With a goal, you are less likely to develop this syndrome.

You can also decrease your chance of developing this condition by reaching out to old friends or making new ones. When you start spending time with like-minded people, it will help you recover from this life change. Consider joining hobby groups or attending events that interest you so that you can meet new people.

Decreasing your risk of this condition also requires you to acknowledge your grief and allow yourself to release the feelings. Discuss your feelings, thoughts, and plans with someone you trust and feel supported by. You can also see a professional help you cope before things get too bad.

empty nest syndromeFinal Thoughts on Empty Nest Syndrome: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment

After so many years of caring for children, it can be difficult for parents to deal with an empty nest. Luckily, it is easier than you may imagine, and you will truly begin to enjoy your new lifestyle. Begin by reconnecting with your spouse and yourself and then moving forward to filling your life with meaningful activities.

You now have the time and energy to spend on old hobbies or new activities. Plus, you will have the chance to do all the things you once dreamed of.

Remember that your children leaving home shows that they are independent and capable adults. This is what you worked so hard to teach them for all of these years. Embrace this new time in your life, and you will be able to cope with an empty nest.

Scientists Discover Earth-sized Planet Aimlessly Floating in the Milky Way

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Scientists observed a planet the size of Earth zooming through the Milky Way, untethered to any star. An international team of scientists led by Polish astronomers discovered the smallest Earth-sized rogue planet found thus far. They believe our galaxy may have an innumerable amount of these free-floating planets. In fact, scientists have already discovered over 4,000 of them.

The terms extrasolar or exoplanets refer to any planet outside the solar system and orbits a star other than the Sun. The planet may travel through the galaxy freely without orbiting a star, like the one recently found. While most of the rogue planets have been observed to orbit a star, there are exceptions.

A few years ago, Polish astronomers from the Astronomical Observatory of the University of Warsaw discovered one of these planets. Publishing their observations in Astrophysical Journal Letters, they announced the existence of the smallest free-floating planet ever discovered in the Milky Way. Detecting these low mass objects in space proves difficult for scientists in most cases due to their distance from Earth. The lead study author says this means they either got very lucky or that countless other exoplanets exist.

How exoplanets are discovered

In most cases, astronomers discover planets by observing light cast from the stars they orbit. If an exoplanet passes in front of the star, the brightness decreases slightly. Called the transit method, this remains the most widely accepted way of detecting rogue planets. However, because free-floating planets don’t emit much radiation and don’t orbit stars, scientists can’t employ the traditional detection methods.

exoplanets

These planets use an astronomical phenomenon called gravitational microlensing, resulting from Einstein’s theory of general relativity. This says that a massive object, such as a star or planet, could bend the light emanating from a background object (the source). In other words, the objects’ gravity acts like a giant magnifying glass, which makes distant stars appear much brighter. This phenomenon can detect planets up to thousands of light-years away.

“If a massive object (a star or exoplanet) passes between an Earth-based observer and a distant source star, its gravity may deflect and focus light from the source. The observer will measure a short, brightening of the source star,” explains Dr. Przemek Mroz, a postdoctoral scholar at the California Institute of Technology and a lead author of the study. “Chances of observing microlensing are extremely slim because three objects—source, lens, and observer—must be nearly perfectly aligned. If we observed only one source star, we would have to wait almost a million years to see the source being microlensed,” he adds.

This explains why most gravitational microlensing takes place in the Milky Way’s center, where this method proves most successful. The OGLE survey, which Warsaw University astronomers oversee, uses this technique to discover rogue planets. OGLE, or Optical Gravitational Lensing Experiment, began over 28 years ago, finding at least 17 exoplanets since 1992.

What’s next?

Currently, OGLE astronomers use a 1.3-meter Warsaw Telescope at Las Campanas Observatory in Chile to look for microlensing signs. On clear nights, they scan the central regions of the Milky Way through the telescope, specifically searching for stars whose brightness fluctuates. Since this method doesn’t depend on the planets’ brightness, it can detect many objects that may otherwise be overlooked.

The duration of microlensing events depends on the mass of the planet being observed. The heavier the object, the longer the event will last, and vice versa for smaller planets or stars. Most microlensing events last for several days and result from stars. In comparison, events that observe rogue planets may last only a few hours due to a smaller mass. Scientists measure the length of the event and the shape of its light curve to estimate the mass of the object.

The shortest microlensing event ever recorded, called OGLE-2016-BLG-1928, lasted just 42 minutes. Models of the event show that the lens, or object being observed, probably equated to Mars’s mass. Scientists believe that they captured a rogue planet during this event.

What the scientists say

“When we first spotted this event, it was clear that it must have been caused by an extremely tiny object,” says Dr. Radoslaw Poleski from the Astronomical Observatory of the University of Warsaw, a co-author of the study. “If the lens were orbiting a star, we would detect its presence in the light curve of the event. We can rule out the planet having a star within about 8 astronomical units (the astronomical unit is the distance between the Earth and the sun).”

A few years ago, OGLE astronomers provided the first evidence of large numbers of rogue planets roaming in the Milky Way. The most recently discovered planet is the smallest free-floating planet ever found.

“Our discovery demonstrates that low-mass free-floating planets can be detected and characterized using ground-based telescopes,” says Prof. Andrzej Udalski, the PI of the OGLE project.

Where rogue planets come from

Astronomers believe that rogue planets form in protoplanetary disks that surround newly formed stars. These untethered planets start normal but eject from the disks due to interactions with other objects in the cosmos. Not having a star to orbit, the planet then travels unbound through space. Rogue planets are usually smaller than Earth.

Studying these discoveries can help us have a better understanding of our solar system as well as other planetary systems. Currently, NASA is building the Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope, which will help scientists find rogue planets more easily. The observatory will begin operating tentatively in the mid-2020s.

planetary alignment planet

.NASA recently discovered 1000 new planets

Final thoughts on the Earth-sized planet discovered in the Milky Way

In the last few years, Polish astronomers have observed many such discoveries careening through our galaxy. However, the free-floating one recently discovered by researchers is the smallest they found to date. Scientific advancements will allow us to observe more of our cosmos and further understand our placement in it.

Young Girl and Her Pugs Make an Adorable Family

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It doesn’t get much better than having a family of pugs to come home to after a long day! Kennedy and her three fur babies make quite the team, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s grown up with pugs since she was a baby, and cur-rently has three named Mischief, Tahlulabelle, and Rufus.

Her mom Shannon says, “Kennedy was actually greeted by pugs when she came home from the hospital as a little baby, so she has grown up only knowing a home full of pugs.” They truly are her best friends and they seem to do everything together. From dressing up for Halloween to playing on the beach as a family, Kennedy loves hanging out with her pugs. They make even the worst days better and always seem to find a way to make their humans laugh.

“They’re constantly doing something silly or naughty, or just that makes us stop and wonder how these little creatures figured out that we needed to be cheered up and that we need the love they give us in our lives,” Shannon says.

All three dogs have different quirks and unique features about them, but they love them all the same.“Tahlulabelle is currently 17-years-old. She came to us in pretty poor condition; she’s actually been completely immobile for about 2 years now, but does extremely well,” Shannon told us. “Just cause she can’t walk doesn’t mean she doesn’t let us know what she needs and when she needs it.”

About the pugs

As Tahlulabelle has grown older, Kennedy can no longer play with her like she used to. However, their bond has only strengthened over the years, and Kennedy is always there to care for her.

“While Kennedy can no longer be the playmate to Tahlulabelle that she used to be, giving her cuddles and playing with her, what she has become is her loving nurse. Kennedy helps us care for this precious family member in every way possible.

In fact, Kennedy is in charge of giving Tahlulabelle her meds twice a day (with supervi-sion of course). A very important and very real lesson that dogs provide our children is that we love each other through sickness and health, youth and old age. Though we can’t always be what we once were to someone, we can always find a way to be exactly what they need us to be right now.”

 

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Along with Belle, they also have Mischief, who joined the family last September. Shannon says that Mischief’s favorite activity is when Kennedy pushes her around the house in cardboard boxes or baskets. She happily sits in the baskets to go alongfor the ride. Apparently, they can do this for hours together and not get bored of it!

 

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Earlier this year, they adopted a third pug named Rufus, who is now 4-years-old. He fits in perfectly with the rest of his pug and human family. Shannon says he requires endless kisses and love, and will paw at you the second you stop petting him! He’s a laid-back, chill, loving dog, and his family is thankful to have adopted him.

 

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Empathy for animals

Shannon believes that the dogs have taught Kennedy valuable lessons since she’s grown up with them. She says that taking care of the dogs and seeing them as her best friends has taught her kindness and empathy. Kennedy often brings blankets to the pugs in their dog bed and crawls underneath to sleep with them.

One way to assure empathy to all animals and dogs it to use bring quality and comfort into a dog’s life.

Paws Plus One prides its self on offering the best quality pet products including the best washable dog beds UK. All our waterproof mats and dog beds are tested in house for product quality, and water resilience and comfort , and safety for your pets. Shop our range of dog beds including superior memory foam dog beds, car boot dog beds, dog toys and much, much more! Please contact us on [email protected] if you need help choosing the correct washable bed.

She respects her dog family because they’ve shown her the true value of friendship and compassion.

“Animals, they stop everything else that’s happening in the world and kind of bring you back into this moment,” Shannon says. “No matter what’s happening in the world, no matter how bad anything gets, getting to come home to a dog who waits all day for you to come back, and you’re truly the center of their world – it’s the bestfeeling in the world; there’s nothing like it.”

Their story has also been featured on the website The Dodo, and people can’t get enough of their cuteness. From the pictures and videos, you can tell just how much love Kennedy has for her pug family.A caption on one of their Instagram pictures says:

“In our home we believe that animals teach us that we are deeply connected to things other than us. We are connected to other people, other species and this earth. When a child grows up know-ing this, empathy and compassion become as natural to oneself as breathing.”

It seems that both Kennedy and the dogs have learned important lessons from one another. As brothers and sisters, they cuddle and play together, share the same bedat times, and always have each others backs. On both the good and bad days, Kennedy knows that as long as she has her dogs, everything will be okay. She couldn’t imagine life without them since they’ve been such a big part of her child-hood growing up.

 

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Final thoughts about this happy family and their pugs

Pugs make especially good family pets because of their happy, affectionate, loyal and sometimes mischievous nature. They can be stubborn at times, but their intelligence makes them easy to train and teach tricks. Pugs need a lot of attention, which makes them perfect for a loving human like this little girl! Pugs also have a won-derful sense of humor and love to make people laugh, as you can see in the videos. We hope you enjoyed reading about Kennedy and her adorable pug family! If you have a big dog family of your own, we’d love to see some pictures in the comments!

Psychology Reveals Why People Deflect Instead of Taking Responsibility

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It’s easy to say that deflection is ignoring something, but what does that really mean? Synonyms of the word include turning, deviating, divergence, straying, and more. Deflection is a little deeper than ignoring an issue. It’s a deep, psychological issue that can indicate some other character or personality flaw that a person should deal with. So why do people deflect instead of owning up to their mistakes?

In psychology, deflection is an inability for a person to focus on themselves. More than that, it’s an intense focus on a partner’s feelings, actions, or beliefs (usually an antagonizing focus). It’s usually done as a way to deviate the attention away from their own actions, feelings, and beliefs.

Dealing with a person that is skilled in deflection can be incredibly frustrating. It can lead to failure and even abusive relationships. However, understanding why a person does this could help, especially if the deflector is willing to help. Luckily, it’s a hot topic of discussion among psychologists.

Even Children Might Deflect the Blame

deflectChildren who deflect can seem like they’re doing harmless “kid stuff.”

Here’s a prime example. One sibling may tell their parents what the other sibling did to take the parents’ attention away from their own transgressions. Of course, good parents can see right through this and teach the child that it’s the wrong thing to do. They may teach the child that they should take responsibility for their own actions.

In most cases, these lessons stick. However, sometimes they don’t.

When they don’t, what results is a child who grows up practicing deflection. By the time the child becomes an adult, they’ve mastered the skill.

Deflection isn’t just something that kids randomly do. There is much psychological research behind this behavior – something that makes them deflect. One incident of deflection doesn’t indicate a problem. However, the repeated behavior, especially if someone is teaching them that the behavior is wrong, is an indicator that there is something more going on.

Deflection in Small Children

When small children are deflecting, it’s not always with malicious intent. Toddlers must be taught the concept of truth, right and wrong, and accepting responsibility.

At first, toddlers will always tell the truth because they don’t understand that they’ve done something wrong or unacceptable. When they catch on to the right and wrong concept, they may deflect because they want it to be someone else’s fault. This is actually a sign of growth. They’re beginning to understand how life works.

It’s at this point that deflection will either be embraced or stamped out. People often think that a toddler’s deflection is cute or funny. Parents may ask them who wrote on the starch white wall with crayons, and the toddler may say the dog did it.

Living with a young child can be both funny and frustrating.

As tempted as parents may be to laugh it off, they must do the exact opposite. This doesn’t mean they should let the toddler have it, but if they give the toddler a positive response, the child will think their parents like that response. Toddlers want to please their parents, so if you laugh when they say the dog did it, you can expect that response to continue.

If you teach the child that deflection is wrong at this young age, you most likely won’t have to worry about this behavior when they get older. It can be a nightmare trying to get an older child not to deflect.

Research supports that even young children learn to tell lies.

Consider this quote from the psychology journal, Developmental Psychology:

“Lying is a pervasive human behavior. Evidence to date suggests that from the age of 42 months onward, children become increasingly capable of telling lies in various social situations.”

So what they suggest is that toddlers develop the ability to tell lies at a relatively early age. Once lying behavior emerges, a child can make excuses and deflect to shift blame from there.

Deflection in older children.

If deflection isn’t stamped out during the toddler phase, children may start to use this as a manipulation tactic as they get older. They know that you’ll let the behavior go, so they use it to get out of being punished for their actions or behaviors. Their reasoning may be the same – they don’t want you to be mad at them – but it’s a little more malicious at this point because they are aware of what they’re doing.

Although it may be a little more difficult at this stage to teach your child not to deflect, it’s not impossible. It takes a lot of patience as well as a lot of leading by example. Ways to lead by example include:

  • Allowing kids to hear you work through decisions out loud. Adults make decisions all day, even small ones. However, adults are so good at these decisions; they happen silently, which teaches kids nothing. Vocalize your decision making.
  • Own up to your mistakes out loud. When kids hear you own up to your mistakes, it teaches them that it’s okay to make mistakes and that it’s not the end of the world. They can also learn how to take responsibility and fix the mistakes.
  • Let them suffer the consequences of their mistakes. If you always fix everything, they won’t learn how to fix it themselves. It can be tempting to come to your child’s rescue, but they need to learn how to handle themselves in life.

pop memeWhen Deflection Turns Bad

Kids end up deflecting situations because of a fear of not pleasing their parents. This travels into adulthood, and people continue the behavior because of fear. It becomes a defense tactic to keep themselves from getting hurt or abandoned by those they care about.

Sometimes people get so good at deflecting. They do it automatically without realizing that they’re doing it. Unfortunately, this behavior can turn sour. As a teenager or an adult, deflection can move from harmless little lies to being downright abusive. This is counterproductive to keeping their partner in their life, but they don’t see it that way.

A pattern of deflection can be fueled in one of two ways. Fear, which was discussed above, is the first way. Narcissism is the second way. While both ways can turn a person into an abuser, narcissism is the worst of the two.

Narcissism

In psychology, narcissism is defined as an inflated sense of self. The narcissist will lack empathy for other people and believe that they deserve better treatment than everyone else. They want everyone to admire them and put them on a pedestal.

It can be exhausting dealing with a narcissist. They tend to wear down the people around them. However, with therapy, sometimes they can change.

Narcissists are masters of deflection. However, the difference between a narcissist and someone who isn’t one is that narcissist doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. Their deflection is purely selfish.

They don’t displace blame out of fear of not being liked. They do it because they feel that they are always right. Narcissists are very manipulative. So they use deflection as a method to control others around them.

Abusive Deflection

Narcissists can often be verbally abusive. Sometimes they can also be physically abusive. When dealing with this type of narcissist, it may be next to impossible to help them stop deflecting. They may need professional help.

Narcissists that are on this level of abuse have what’s called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The abuse can be physical, emotional, or verbal. Besides physical abuse, narcissists with NPD can be so charming and smooth with the abuse that the victim may not realize they’re being abused. This makes it even more dangerous for the victim.

When the deflector is suffering from NPD, deflection is probably the least of anyone’s concern. The deflector will have far worse issues to work through. However, they must be willing to get help.

deflectFinal Thoughts on Why People Deflect Onto Others

Deflection is a behavior that can be a defensive response or a response that occurs because a person doesn’t care. The reason the person presents the behavior can change how it affects others. However, it’s always going to be a bad effect.

Blaming others for one’s actions is a bad way to live and it’s bad for people who must interact with the deflector. It strains relationships to a point where they may not be able to be fixed.

If you blame others for your actions, you should begin working on changing the behavior immediately. If it’s someone you care about, it may be time to have a serious conversation with them about changing their ways. The good news is that the behavior can be changed as long as everyone is willing to put in the effort.

4 Ways Too Much Screen Time Can Make You Feel Isolated

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We live in an age of booming technology, and it’s only becoming more and more advanced. The world we live in is forever shaped by the internet, accessibility, and modern communication methods. It’s so ingrained into the planet as we know it that it’s no longer possible to separate tech from life in any way. Still, we feel isolated in an entirely new way.

Some generations are now growing up, never having known a world without smartphones. Screen time is a staple of everyday life, and that’s not really surprising. Smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices offer a wealth of information in mere seconds, long-distance communication, and entertainment.

With these developments have come new concerns surrounding health, wellness, and development. How much screen time is too much? And how much connectivity is excessive? How much can you share with the world before it becomes dangerous? Ideally, mobile devices bring us closer together by connecting us all. But is that really the reality, or have we overdone it to the point that it’s counterproductive?

These questions have complex answers, but many of them seem surprising. This increased access to the world is actually causing more and more people to be alone, although they can be connected to everyone all the time. How is this possible, and why?

Here are 4 ways too much screen time can make you feel isolated.

1.    You Can Become Addicted

The internet is full of fun. There’s no way to deny the hours of activities you can partake in just from one screen, and that truly is something to marvel at. Unfortunately, with that comes its fair share of consequences.

Internet addiction is a relatively new research area, given the relatively recent and fast developments of accessibility and connectivity as a whole. Still, it’s enough for many people to get a good idea of what is positive and what is negative regarding their attachment to technology.

Addiction is a very isolating experience. There’s a lot of stigma surrounding it as a concept, and it’s even worse for a newer form of addiction that is still less understood. It’s easy to dismiss any signs of addiction to a mobile device because of how commonplace our dependence on such items is.

Unfortunately, devices and internet addiction are genuine problems. Like other forms of addiction, it can cause you to push away your loved ones and hurt those around you due to your obsession, further isolating you.

isolated

Here are some signs of internet – and, additionally, mobile device – addiction.

  • Higher levels of tolerance for mobile devices and internet activities.
  • Difficulty in reducing or self-regulating mobile devices and internet use.
  • Constant preoccupation or obsession with mobile devices and the internet.
  • Reliance on mobile devices and the internet to manage stress, anxiety, depression, and negative emotion.
  • The existence of withdrawal symptoms when away from mobile devices and the internet.
  • Psychological dependence on mobile devices and the internet.
  • Replacement of regular activities and/or relationships with activities related to mobile devices and the internet, despite knowledge of the negativity of such replacements.

But how does this type of addiction happen? It can seem a little puzzling, given the way we usually think of addiction.

Here’s some information about the internet and screen addiction development.

  • Certain things on the internet give you a hit of dopamine, triggering your reward system to associate the internet with these very brief feeling of happiness. This can occur from a ‘like’ on social media, playing a mobile game, or simply seeing people you relate to.
  • The internet provides a certain sense of belonging, even to those who struggle to make friends in real life. There’s a community for just about anyone on the internet. With factors like anonymity, it’s easy to hop between friend groups, presenting yourself as you wish, for the best responses.
  • It’s easy to build a fake persona online. You can present only the very best of yourself and then begin to prefer that embellished version of you to who you truly are. Since that “perfect” you doesn’t exist outside of your mobile devices, it can be tough to go back to real life when you can’t measure up to your own precedents.

2.    You Spend More Time Isolated

Ironically, being so connected to everyone all the time can wind up isolating you even further. It’s a difficult concept to wrap your head around, but think about it – how often are you enjoying screen time with others? The answer is likely not as much as how often you participate in device activities at home on your own!

Here are some other reasons you wind up spending more time alone when you indulge in a lot of screen time:

  • With the ability to talk to anyone in the world right at your fingertips, you have less reason to go out and socially interact in person with others.
  • You learn updates of other people’s lives through their social media without ever needing to communicate with them.
  • You’re more aware of the lives of others, constantly shared on social media, so you know when you’re left out.
  • You spend more time checking your phone, which has many options for things you can do and therefore interact with the world around you less.

Here are some interesting scientific findings on screen time, isolation, loneliness, and its effects:

  • “People Thinking About People: The Vicious Cycle of Being a Social Outcast in One’s Own Mind” in The social outcast: ostracism, social exclusion, rejection, and bullying (2005). This portion of a book on the social outcast discussed an interesting study where people were hypnotized by a professional hypnotist to experience sensations of loneliness. That loneliness trigger was enough to directly lead to significant increases in depression symptoms and very drastic drops in positive thinking.
  • “Loneliness Matters: A Theoretical and Empirical Review of Consequences and Mechanisms” in Annals of Behavioral Medicine (2013). This experiment revealed that the stress hormone, cortisol, increases in production when you feel lonely. In fact, the stress levels from loneliness can be comparable to receiving a direct physical threat!
  • “iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy–and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood–and What That Means for the Rest of Us” by Jean Twenge, Ph.D. (2017). This book talks in-depth about the newer generation of children growing up with technology. It scientifically discusses how this generation feels lonelier than previous ones, despite their closer online connections. In 2015, data collected indicated a 27% and 48% increase in boys and girls, respectively, who felt excluded and left out than in 2010. Peers of the author seem to agree with these findings.

nomophobia3.    You Don’t Get Social Practice

There is no real substitute for real-world, physical contact with someone. You can’t sharpen social skills, pick up proper social skills, or learn how to carry yourself. Nor can you pick up on a person’s mannerisms unless you spend time with someone in-person.

The problem with interactions separated by a screen is how vastly different they are to real-life experiences. Here are some ways that internet communication can socially stunt you:

  • Have time to think about your responses for several minutes or even hours before replying to someone
  • May feel emboldened and protected by the screen, allowing you only to feel comfortable speaking your mind online.
  • Don’t get someone’s tone, body language, or facial expressions from online text-based communications, and emojis are extremely easy to interpret in comparison

Naturally, when you go to the real world and don’t have the “easy mode” of socialization that comes with screens and social media to help you, you may fumble and become anxious. That’s why it’s important to make sure you’re still socializing in real life, too.

4.    It Increases Materialism

Materialism is an incredibly isolating way of thinking. It reduces a lot of the world to mere figures and currency values. Indeed, it makes it harder to relate to people and situations. Unfortunately, a lot of screen time can often make you more materialistic. Here are some reasons for this:

  • You see, many people sharing their material items on social media in attractive ways, which can influence your thoughts.
  • Brand advertisements are everywhere, on all websites, often well-integrated into the interface.
  • You are more likely to have an individualistic view of the world via social media than a community-based one.
  • Trends are common on the internet, and many trends involve purchasing and showing off material items that change from week to week.
  • Not having what others have and being unable to bond with them can cause you to feel isolated or separated.
  • It’s easy to think that the online community would accept you if you have material items.

Materialism is on the rise, and unfortunately, it isn’t harmless, according to studies. Materialistic individuals often wind up experiencing anxiety or depression symptoms, failing to develop any meaningful values, or feeling empty and lonely due to an inability to afford these material things.

isolatedFinal Thoughts On How Too Much Screen Time Can Make You Feel Isolated

It’s truly ironic to think that something designed to bring people close together can actually separate us all even more. Despite the rather poetic drama of it all, though, one can’t deny that screen time is a convenient way to occupy oneself, keep up-to-date on the news, and stay in touch with distant friends and family.

So how do you strike a balance between being social and isolated? How can you still use your screens without driving yourself into loneliness? How can The answer, as always, lies in moderation. Make sure that screens don’t replace real-life meetings with friends. Limit your viewing of the more toxic aspects of social media. Be realistic about the things you see online.

If you struggle with balancing your screen time, you may want to speak to a therapist or relevant medical professional dealing in mental health. This is especially true if you think you may be struggling with an addiction to social media or the internet. If you really need to, don’t be afraid to quit social media and use your phone for non-social forms of entertainment. That way, you can get the fun of screen time and have more excuses to meet your loved ones in person.

10 Red Flags Reveal Your Co-worker Is a Backstabber

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Have you ever encountered a backstabber in the workplace? Your there to make a paycheck and do a good job, but some people can make life at work miserable. How do you handle a situation at work when your livelihood is on the line?

Since the beginning of time, people have experienced personality clashes. Remember the Biblical story of Cain and Abel? Their jealousy and resentment were so intense that Cain killed his brother. Of course, your office drama will not likely escalate to that height.

But some people do go to great lengths to get ahead.

Spotting the Backstabber

You can’t pack up and leave every time someone offends you, but you can better prepare yourself for dealing with these types of colleagues. To thwart any office drama, you must be on the lookout for the backstabber. Here are some ways to see through their actions and spot their mischievous nature.

1. Undermine You and Your Work

backstabberThe backstabber has one goal, and that is to make themselves look good. They have no problem undermining you or the work you do to look superior. If they can damage or weaken others’ opinion of you, then they can set the stage to make themselves look good.

They may offer constant critiques of your work and try to show you their way of doing things. They will go to the boss in a heartbeat to point out that you’re not doing your share or doing something wrong. In all actuality, they’re only trying to cover up for their mistakes.

2. Always Asking You for Help

It’s hard enough to do the work you’ve been assigned, but if a person is continuously asking you to pick up for their slack, they are guilting you to handle their responsibilities. They may complain that they’re having a hard time at home or issues with health problems.

If you fall for this trap, then you will take the fall when things aren’t done right or according to the specifications the supervisor laid out. Then, they will find some way to turn the blame onto you. Handle this by telling them that you’re glad they think you are helpful, but you are swamped and cannot handle it anymore.

Don’t ever fall into the trap of telling this person anything as they will use it against you in the end.

3. They’re Resentful and Difficult to Work With

Sometimes it takes a little while to realize who is a backstabber and slick about covering it up. In most cases, this person may be well-liked and intelligent. However, they really don’t work well in a team environment.

This person looks out after number one. If you ever upset them, then you will walk on eggshells waiting for their retaliation. When dealing with these kinds of people, make sure you document everything.

They will use any chance they get to get revenge on you if it means covering their butt.

4. Spreading Rumors Behind Your Back

This person is a backstabber and a liar. They will take credit for work you’ve done, and they won’t think twice about spreading things about you that are false. They are often jealous of others, and their envious nature causes them to do things that aren’t scrupulous.

If you get a promotion that they feel they should’ve received, then they will do anything to get back at you. Don’t put up with the liar. Take any issues you have with them straight to management.

5. Part of the Toxic Rumor-Mill

Gossip is something that everyone engages in occasionally. Why is it that the chatter that happens around the water cooler at work is always the juiciest? Keep in mind that there is a difference between having a trusted conversation with a colleague and then just spreading toxic rumors among the masses.

How can you handle being the topic of discussion when you find out you’re targeted? It’s best to go right to the source and tell them what you’ve heard and how you feel. Find the start of the rumor and put it to rest. If they are still determined to talk about your business or spread untruths, let management handle it.

spreading rumors6. Always Sucking Up to the Boss

Why is it that whether you’re in grade school or working at a multi-million-dollar company, the suck-up is the one that puts a bad taste in your mouth? They long to be the teacher’s pet and get in tight with the boss. The purpose is to get a raise, a higher position, or know the company’s ins and outs.

This “brown noser” is classically found in any office across this country. Please don’t get in their way as they schmooze the boss, or they will stab you in the back and not think twice about it.

7. Taking Credit for Your Work

Have you ever had someone steal your ideas at work and then take all the credit? They may talk smack about you behind your back, but they butter you up to your face to get more great advice. This is disrespectful and a stab in the back.

The way to combat this kind of trader is to work closely and tell your supervisor about your new ideas and thoughts on any projects. If they try to take credit for your work, the supervisor will quickly smell a rat. It’s obvious they’re envious of your abilities and want to share in that wealth of knowledge.

8. Demoralize the Whole Team by Micromanaging

No one likes the micromanager, especially when it’s a coworker. This person is a bit narcissistic and thinks that they’re the only one that knows the right way to do things. They are watching over your shoulder and eager to report any misdoings to management.

No one likes a micromanager, but you expect this behavior from a supervisor and not a fellow worker. People tend to micromanage when they have a fear of losing control of something. First, you must ensure nothing you’re doing needs managed.

Are you showing up for work on time and not missing any deadlines? You can counteract this person who wishes to stab you in the back by ensuring that you’re always ahead of the game. If you build confidence and trust in your management team, then they won’t have any issues, no matter what is reported to them.

Remember, a boss doesn’t like someone who micromanages others as they are overstepping into management territory.

9. Overreacts When Stressed or Challenged

Manipulative people and will stab you in the back are often those that will overreact to the smallest things. Some may call them the office hothead because when things don’t go their way, they won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus. When they are stressed or challenged, you will see them turn on everyone around them to save face.

Dealing with the office hothead is never easy. They can pull you into their disputes with their negative energy. Think of them much like a toddler having a temper tantrum. Since you know they have the potential to be dangerous, don’t react at the moment.

Once things have calmed down, talk to them about the issues directly. Please don’t give them the satisfaction of being drawn into their tantrum. Wait till things are over and set things straight.

10. They Don’t Work Well with Others

The classic backstabber won’t work well with others. While they strive hard to be the person everyone likes; eventually, their true colors come shining through. Another trick is that they will play the office martyr. This person wants to take on the most significant workload to prove that they’re the ones that work harder than everyone else.

Taking on a significant load can negatively impact productivity as they will use their workload to undermine the other workers. They brag about how much they’re getting done while others are doing the bare minimum. This person has serious confidence issues.

They want all the focus to be on them, but it should never be about one person when you work as a team. Don’t give them the satisfaction of making you feel less than when it comes to your work. If management is okay with your work, then don’t play into this person’s toxic attitude.

backstabberFinal Thoughts on Recognizing Backstabbers for Who They Are

The thing that you must understand when dealing with manipulative and deceitful people is that there is almost always control issues that stem from insecurity. When they envy a position you have or the type of work you do, then they will do anything in their power to make you look bad.

It’s not personal as they will act this way with anyone that gets in their path. They need to be validated and to stand out for doing a superior job. Don’t fall for their traps. If you see any of these red flags, then you need to set them straight.

If talking to them gets you nowhere and causes a real issue, you need to bring management into the equation. The chances are that management already knows all about this person and that they’re a backstabber. They’re not going to be surprised by anything you have to say.

The goal is to stay out of this toxic person’s path. Go to work, do your job, and go home. The less you get involved with the manipulative people there, the better off you’ll be.

Experts Reveal 6 Things Your Body Language Tells About You

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Verbal communication makes up very little of the signals and messages you put out to the world. In fact, most would argue that nonverbal communication is more crucial in conveying meaning and intent. Moreover, science indicates that they’re right!

The way you move, hold yourself, make expressions, and even stand can all tell a different story about yourself and what you mean. People get all sorts of impressions from you based on those behaviors alone! Here’s how studies and experts reveal 6 things your body language tells about you.

1.    The Mouth

Usually, the mouth’s function in communication is verbal. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t play a significant part in nonverbal communication, too. When done outside of an acceptable context, many common movements of the mouth can be interpreted as a negative form of language. Here are some examples:

your body language·         Biting The Lower Lip

The act of biting or sucking in the lower lip is a common and often subconscious reaction to stress, nervousness, or a general lack of comfort. Most people can interpret it as such. Thus, many will assume you are uncomfortable or worried when you bite your lip a lot. Janine Driver, a body language expert, says that this behavior can also indicate the act of holding words back around others. That motion gives people the idea that you’re hiding something or only trying to be polite.

·         Pursed Lips

If you often tighten your lips, others may see you as judgmental or negative. This is because the pursing of the lips is often an indication of distrust, dislike, or even disapproval.

·         Smiling

Genuine, heartfelt smiles are easy for most people to interpret as nothing but genuine. It’s a powerful tool to use, and if you smile all the time honestly, you send the message to the world that you’re a positive person. However, a lack of genuine intent can be expressed through smiles, too. Many people can easily tell sarcastic, cynical, nervous, and fake smiles from the real ones, so forcing a smile usually doesn’t convince most of your “happiness.”

·         Covering The Mouth

The act of covering your mouth, especially when you’re not coughing or sneezing, can often be seen as somewhat deceptive. It can look like you’re hiding a reaction, such as a smile or a frown, or like you’re covering up your words.

2.    The Eyes

People often say that you can learn a lot about someone through their eyes, which are the supposed “windows to the soul.” This isn’t entirely incorrect, as your eyes play one of the biggest roles in nonverbal communication. Even small movements can send a message to others, and the small movements that you perform may be a subconscious reflection of your inner thoughts. Here are some things your eyes’ nonverbal language tells about you:

·         Eye Contact

Different levels of eye contact can indicate different things. Moderate, balanced eye contact during a conversation usually indicates positive interaction, with interest and attention being afforded to the speaker. But over-the-top eye contact can be overwhelming and create an atmosphere of awkwardness or even intimidation.

·         Lack Of Eye Contact

On the other hand, breaking eye contact too frequently or looking away completely can be a sign of distraction, deception, or discomfort. Besides, the act of never wanting to meet someone’s eyes can make others see you as anxious, shy, and socially inept. They may even perceive you as less intelligent, according to studies!

·         Wrinkling Around The Eyes

These wrinkles occur when you have a genuine, wide smile on your face called a Duchenne smile. This huge grin is impossible to fake convincingly, so when people see those wrinkles forming in the corners of your eyes when you smile, they’ll know you’re pleased, say studies.

·         Blinking

Of course, it’s completely normal to blink. But the frequency of those blinks can tell others about you. If you blink very often, you’re giving off signals of discomfort and distress, and if you blink too little, you look too serious and like you’re trying to control or hide emotion. Research indicates that blinking is a very common tell for lying.

eye contact

Here is why eye contact is an essential part of your body language.

3.    The Limbs

Do you pay much attention to your arms and legs? The way you hold or position them can speak volumes through body language. The same goes for your hands and feet, which are just extensions of your limbs, after all. Here are some things to keep in mind about how your limbs speak for you:

·         Crossing Legs

This can be a sign of being closed off from the world, says Travis Bradberry, a psychologist. It means you’re not open to discussion, negotiation, or even conversation and can indicate others’ detachment.

·         Crossing Arms

Crossing the arms is a defensive gesture that indicates you are trying to protect yourself. When you hold this position, others get the idea that you want to be left alone, feel threatened, or are blocking them out, says research.

·         Turning Feet Away

When you see someone you dislike, no matter how much you try to act polite and neutral, a part of you may subconsciously express your distaste. Author and former FBI agent Joe Navarro, M.A., states that your feet will quickly turn to face away from the person you’re not fond of.

·         Turning Feet Towards

But what about when your feet automatically move to face a person? Lillian Glass, a body language and human behavior expert, states that this can be a sign that you like someone very much, usually to the point of having a crush on them!

·         Holding Your Arms Up In A V Shape

This is one of the universal body language indicators of “victory.” It can seem performative, but it actually usually betrays genuine happiness, excitement, or feelings of accomplishment. It happens spontaneously and is a genuine response to these types of positive thinking. This has been confirmed in research that shows that even the blind exhibit this form of body language.

4.    The Posture

Posture refers to the way that you position your body as a whole. It’s one of the quickest ways people can get ideas about you, as it provides an overview of your entire manner, mood, and personality. It can provide hints to many different things, which is why it’s important to make sure you’re sending the right message with it. Here are some ways postural body language is interpreted:

·         Shoulders Down

Having your shoulders down means your chest is open, and your chin is just a little lifted. According to clinical counselor and dance movement therapist Erica Hornthal, that indicates the presence and connects you to yourself. You give off vibes of confidence, positive thinking, and good levels of self-esteem!

·         A Puffed-Out Chest

This seems like a confident gesture, but it’s more likely to suggest that you’re overcompensating, says Hornthal. Many people will find a very strongly pushed-forward chest to be a sign of arrogance or overconfidence. This behavior is a means of hiding other insecurities.

·         An Open Posture

Open positions involve having spread arms or hands on the hips, with the chest open and the back straight. This sends multiple positive signals, including ones of dominance, confidence, and even friendliness. It signals that you are open and willing to speak to others and engage with them. Plus, they can make you more attractive to others, too.

·         Slouching

The act of slouching can easily point to indifference, boredom, or even stress. You can look overwhelmed or just plain disinterested with this kind of posture. You’ll want to sit up straight to give off more positive vibes, as this shows that you’re paying attention and are focused on the current situation.

·         Tilted Head

If you’re trying to look like you’re paying close attention to what someone is saying, tilt your head to the side. This shows that you’re interested and are focused on listening to those around you. Carol Kinsey Goman, a body language expert, adds that leaning forward and nodding in tandem with this tilt will be the best way to communicate your immersion.

5.    Gestures

Perhaps the most obvious and thinkable form of body language, gestures are obvious and direct in what they communicate. Apart from obvious signals, like thumbs up and down motions to indicate positive or negative responses, some gestures might be communicating unintended messages to others. Here are some to be aware of:

·         Brusque Movements

When you move in sudden, uncontrolled ways, you tell others that you’re nervous, anxious, or agitated. No matter how confident you sound or how relaxed you attempt to appear, these gestures will make you look worried, no matter what you do, says relationship coach Jack Vitel.

·         Fidgeting

The act of fidgeting is a common social faux-pas, and it’s effortless to misinterpret. Many people fidget as part of nervousness, acts of compulsion, or even due to neurodivergence. However, most people interpret fidgeting as a sign that you would rather be anywhere else but there, says Andrew Thomas, an advisor and entrepreneur. Hence, you have to be careful about being too excessive with it.

·         Resting Your Hand Over Your Heart

When you speak to others and hear their words, you may find your hand naturally coming to be over your heart. This gesture is recognized as one that shows your high levels of empathy towards others.

·         Gesturing With Open Palms

When you show your palms while speaking, you come across as trustworthy, genuine, and peaceful. It’s an age-old gesture in society that is basically “showing your hand” to the people around you. Indeed, you will indicate your honesty and positive intent. That’s probably why it’s a universally recognized form of body language for truth and allegiance, say “The Definite Book of Body Language” by authors Allan and Barbara Pease.

·         Disengagement Behavior

These kinds of behaviors are things like doodling and fidgeting, and studies indicate that those who engage in these acts have a higher chance of being wealthy or comfortably off. In fact, most people can accurately guess a socioeconomic status based on their disengagement behaviors alone!

your body languageFinal Thoughts On Some Things Your Body Language Reveals About You

The way you move your mouth, eyes, and limbs all contribute to the nonverbal communication you send out through body language. The gestures you use and your posture can dramatically change the way others perceive you, so be conscious of your actions to get the correct messages across!

Harvard Study Links Church Attendance and Reduced Depression

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Depression is an issue that has become a major problem across America over the past several decades. In fact, it’s an issue that’s touching almost every part of the world. Despite therapists’ best efforts, it seems that fighting the depression epidemic is an uphill battle. There is good news – the solution may be found in the church.

A recent study conducted by the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health showed evidence that people who attended church services regularly suffered less depression. Churchgoers also face a lower risk of death from despair. Keep reading to find out more about the study.

Details of the Study on Church Attendance and Improved Mental Health

The study was led by Ying Chen, ScD, an empirical research scientist for the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University. Other researchers included:

  • Dr. Howard Koh, Professor of the Practice of Public Health Leadership at the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health
  • Dr. Ichiro Kawachi, Professor of Social Epidemiology at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health

churchThe study’s specific purpose was to examine the relationship between religious service attendance and deaths from despair. There were 109,533 participants in the study. Almost 66,500 were women. The participants were all employed in the healthcare profession, with the women being registered nurses and the men being in several different healthcare categories.

Since all participants were in healthcare careers, that makes this study somewhat biased. However, the participants’ demographics varied widely, so the study could still be applied to a wide variety of people.

While the study was conducted from September of 2018 to July of 2019, the researchers used data pulled from prior surveys. The registered nurses’ data was pulled from the Nurses’ Health Study II (NHSII) from 2001 through 2017, and the men’s data was pulled from Health Professionals Follow-up Study (HPFS) from 1988 through 2014.

The results were determined from a question on each survey that asked participants how often they participated in religious services. This was tallied up along with the number of deaths from each group’s despair over the given timeframe. Using these numbers, researchers concluded that the rate of death due to despair was lower among churchgoers.

What You Can Pull from the Study on the Links Between Church Attendance and Depression

This study was a bit basic in nature. It didn’t specify which religions were more prevalent in the study or whether their careers in the healthcare field affected the outcomes. However, you can still take away the fact that attending religious services does decrease the risk of death from despair.

Does this mean you should start going to church? Maybe.

If you or someone you know are suffering from depression that is serious enough to contemplate taking drugs or committing suicide, you should probably seek professional help. However, if you aren’t that far gone yet, attending religious services could change your spirit enough to spark some positivity in your life. You don’t have anything to lose by giving it a try.

What are the Deaths of Despair?

Deaths of despair is a phrase that sounds like a good thriller movie or a popular rock band, but unfortunately, it’s not anything pleasant or entertaining. It’s a blanket term to describe a category of self-inflicted deaths that occur because the victim has a bleak outlook on life. In other words, it happens because the victim is severely depressed. Understanding the study’s significance is easier once you understand what deaths of despair are and the impact these deaths have on society.

There are three categories of deaths of despair: suicide, drug overdose, and deaths attributed to alcoholism (alcohol liver disease). In these categories, deaths are on the rise, which is why research in these areas is so important. The fact that depression is the driving factor in these deaths also means that doctors, scientists, and researchers must continue to study depression and search for ways to cure it, or at least ways to help people cope with it better.

Statistics on Depression

People are sad. The world is in turmoil, and some people can’t cope with it. Many positive things happen in society, but the negative things can be so overwhelming that people can’t see the bright side. Because of this, depression is becoming an epidemic.

Depression is something that affects everyone, no matter gender, race, age, social class, or religion. Sure, certain groups could be more at risk than others, but depression is a widespread problem. Here are some statistics that can help you put depression in perspective.

suicide and depression hotline*Statistics provided by the World Health Organization (WHO), and the U.S. News & World Report (USN)

  • More than 264 million people worldwide suffer from depression.
  • In low- to middle-income countries, 76% and 85% don’t get treated for depression.
  • China has the highest rate of depression, India comes in second place, and the United States comes in third place.
  • More women, around 7.1% more, suffer from depression than men.
  • Almost 10% of all Americans ages 18 and older will suffer from at least one major depressive episode.

Depression can occur due to many reasons. Sometimes a person may not even be truly depressed – it could be a side effect from some other condition. However, no matter what the cause is, the outcome can be the same. The next sections will break down each category of deaths of despair.

Suicide

There are an alarming number of suicides each year, and the rate is steadily rising. In fact, it’s the category that attributes to the highest number of deaths of despair. The rate of suicide seems to correlate with the number of mental illness cases. In fact, most people who commit suicide seem to have a diagnosable mental illness.

Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for people ages 15 to 24 years old. It’s also the leading cause of death in Caucasian men that are 85 years old or older. Four times more men commit suicide than women. In data pulled from WHO in 2016, it shows that European males had the highest suicide rate in the world.

Suicide is preventable if the victim has enough people in their life to recognize the signs. It can be hard to recognize them, especially because many people hide their depression well. However, if you notice any odd behavior from a friend or loved one, don’t hesitate to get them some help.

Drug Overdose

Deaths from drug overdoses can be controversial because many people think that drug addicts choose to be drug addicts. In most cases, this isn’t true. Most drug addicts turn to drugs to escape an unhappy life. They were already suffering from depression, they got hooked on drugs, and now the depression is even worse because they can’t stop.

To make matters worse, drugs can affect people’s brains on a chemical level. Drugs can affect neurotransmitters, the chemical messengers that carry messages between your brain’s neurons. Drugs can cause neurotransmitters to send the wrong messages, leading to depression and other problems.

Not all people overdose on drugs on purpose, but the fact that they are in that position is likely due to depression. This is what makes drug overdoses a part of deaths of despair.

Alcoholism

Like drugs, people become alcoholics because they’re trying to cope with some unhappy aspect of their life. Also, like drugs, depression can worsen because they can’t quit. On top of that, alcohol is a natural depressant, so when you mix that with someone who was already suffering from depression, you get a recipe for disaster.

One of the biggest problems with alcoholism is that it leads to alcohol-related liver disease. This is classified as a category of deaths of despair. The reason is that the disease could be cured in the early stages if the person stops drinking, but their depression and addiction keep them going until the disease kills them. It’s almost like committing suicide.

Alcoholism is just as bad as drug abuse. However, deaths from both can be averted if the victim has people in their life that care about them enough to get them some help.

churchFinal Thoughts on the Study and Depression

Depression is such a big problem in the world. Even if people are suffering from anxiety instead of full out depression, many of the effects can be the same. However, if the study holds true, being a faithful churchgoer can heal anxiety and depression.

The spirituality that a person develops from attending church services can help a person get past all the bad things that have held them back in life. Each person may get something different out of church service, but the study shows that it all equals a lower depression rate. You don’t have to be faithful to go, but the church may hold the key to a happier life, so why not give it a chance?

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