Some people are always on the lookout for others they can use to advance their agenda, whatever that may be, through whatever means possible. This is manipulative behavior in a nutshell. People that attempt to manipulate often do so by playing on other people’s emotions. They generally don’t trust the logical capabilities of others and seek to “pull the wool over” their eyes. Truly a sad state, but this type of behavior exists.
Generally, people that display manipulative behavior display these and other “red flags” that can potentially unveil their capability to manipulate:
5 signs someone is trying to manipulate you:
1. They have a history of manipulating others.
Have they been caught in a lie with you or someone else? Do they have a generally negative attitude? Have they spread rumors or gossiped about someone? Do they display predominantly individualistic types of behaviors?
These individuals also have an egotistical streak–perhaps even sadistic–thinking they are smarter and craftier than anyone else.
Be aware of manipulative behavior by remaining vigilant in your dealings with others. Remain positive and confident while sending positivity and encouragement to these individuals. This could be the difference in changing their perspective along with their behavior.
2. They are moving fast.
Manipulators try to get you hooked fast through sweet talk and a false sense of interest. That is how they build trust and form a bond. It enables them to use us emotionally once the real motive of the relationship becomes clear.
Among the simpler ways to find a hidden manipulator is to look for simple signs that show somebody only appears worried if something or someone will affect their desired outcome. Manipulators struggle with maintaining the “right kind” of associations because desired outcomes are everything to them, and they care about how other people think to have control.
Take note of your friends’ feelings when you recommend something. Undercover manipulators could harshly react when they don’t agree with you or when criticized.
3. If they play on your emotions, it could be manipulation.
Emotionally, spiritually, and physically, seduction is a manipulator’s tool. A manipulator likes to play on heightened emotions to engage you in behaviors that benefit them. They gather people who will serve their need to be in control, whether through a romantic relationship, a close friendship, or a strategic partnership. They make being with them fun and exciting at first, and then they shift the focus of the relationship onto them and their needs.
4. They quickly grow impatient.
Impatience can be defined as (1) irritable behavior that results from delays or (2) a restless need for change and excitement. The display of impatient behavior is often tied into someone’s goals; specifically, anything that hinders or aggravates the person in active pursuit of these goals. These goals could range from getting ahead of you at the drive-thru to getting that promotion at work.
As with stubbornness, we all tend to be impatient at times. However, some individuals take impatience to the extreme. These individuals detest being held up at any time, anywhere, for almost any reason. They will manipulate any situation to come out on top.
Impatience is a trait that develops from early negative experiences, misunderstanding the nature of self and others, and a persistent sense of insecurity. Early negative experiences often happen during childhood. In many cases, the child was often barred from having a normal social experience resulting in the sense of “missing out.”
When dealing with an impatient person, it is important to understand how they “tick.” For example, these individuals prefer to be in control. They become angry, annoyed, and frustrated when they are not in firm control. The best way to deal with the behavior is to be polite but direct. Do not beat around the bush with impatient people; this will get you nowhere.
5. You are always portrayed as “the bad guy.”
While this might seem a little overboard, emotional manipulators habitually make you look like the bad guy and twist their words to fit any agenda. You might start to believe sometimes that you have done something wrong when in reality, you have fallen victim to their terrible scheme.
To make sure you can show them what they said in prior conversations, jot down any details you think they might conveniently change later to justify their behavior. They may also try to convince you they never said a certain thing, but you can prove they did with the notes you take.
Get smart about protecting yourself from their wrath; they may soon get discouraged from using you as their emotional toy.