Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

15 Red Flags That Reveal an Arrogant Person

An arrogant person is someone who thinks that they’re better than everyone else. It’s important to them to have a certain status in life, and they will use whomever they can obtain that hierarchy. It may be hard to spot this person right away in the dating world as they camouflage themselves to be perfect for you.

Don’t be fooled by their game, as they see you as nothing more than another way to further their success in life. Arrogant people have a hard time with relationships and don’t have many sincere connections. They’re charming, crafty, and will come across as the one you’ve been dreaming of your entire life.

Signs of An Arrogant Person

If you fall for those classic manipulations, then you’ve become victim to the oldest game in the book. Sadly, people only think of men as arrogant or manipulative, but women can be just as devious and controlling as men.

How do you protect yourself when searching for the right fish in the sea that you don’t snag a shark? Well, here are some red flags that say you’re entangled with an arrogant person.

arrogant person1. Comes on Too Strong Too Fast

One big red flag that you might be dealing with someone manipulative is that they initially come on too strong. You may have had one date, and they are already talking about moving in together and starting a family. If it’s a friend, they may talk about being your BFF and wanting to spend every waking moment together.

There’s a little bit of desperation in the way they seem to latch onto you. They will make you feel that you’re something special and you are worthy of their time. Just remember that this is how it is initially, and it won’t stay this way.

2. You Catch Them in Lies

The thing about the arrogant person is they tell a lot of stories. Some of the tales they tell might seem a bit too good to be true. If you find that somethings don’t add up, or you are frequently fact-checking what they tell you, then it’s an indication that they’re probably not the best person for you.

3. They Exaggerate Their Accomplishments

Speaking of lies, this person likes to exaggerate their accomplishments. They may say they’re the director of Information Technology and sit on the local medical center board. They want to feel more critical and look better in everyone’s eyes, so they do what they can to puff themselves up.

Sure, they might hold a job at the hospital, and it might be in the IT department, but chances are they are not even close to being the director. The truth is that this person suffers from low self-esteem. They need others to think they’re something significant to help counteract the horrible opinion of themselves inside.

4. You Have A Feeling That Something Isn’t Right

Always trust your gut instincts. If you feel that something is off, then the chances are that what you’re feeling is correct. You never want to dismiss these feelings without doing further investigation.

5. Shows No Empathy Towards Others

What’s quite alarming about the narcissistic or arrogant person is the lack of emotions that they display. If you’re sobbing because you lost a friend or family member, they won’t try to comfort you. Even if their mother died, they might not shed a tear.

They don’t have the same emotional makeup because things that have happened to them in life has made them bitter and cold.

6. Monopolizes Every Conversation

Watch the way this person acts the next time they’re in a crowd. A manipulator naturally tries to control the conversation. If they feel they aren’t getting the attention they need, they will do things like name drop, raise their volume, or make the story so entertaining everyone wants to listen.

Remember, they’re the master at controlling people and their conversations so that you won’t get a word in edgewise.

7. Commonly Uses Gaslighting Techniques

Gaslighting is a horrible psychological trick that many people use to manipulate. The theme came from an old movie where a guy was trying to get rid of his wife by making her think she was crazy. In today’s world, people will do the same things but are much more clever.

Say, for instance, that you’ve been dating this Romeo for a while, and he is cheating on you. Sadly, for him, you’re aware of what’s happened. Instead of taking the blame for what he’s done, he will try to turn things around and make it look like it’s your fault.

By the time things are done, he will have things turned around that he had no choice but to cheat because you weren’t giving him the time or attention he needed. It’s time to move on!

pop meme8. They’re Hypocritical

Ever heard the old saying that your actions speak much louder than your words? When you’re dealing with an arrogant person, nothing is more accurate. They want to seem like an upstanding and scrupulous individual, but you will find that they are all talk.

9. They Don’t Talk About Family or Friends

You will hardly ever hear the manipulative person talk about their family or friends, and you may think they don’t have any. It’s because they’ve alienated so many people along the way that their friend list is noticeably short.

10. Demands Your Time but Doesn’t Give in Return

They have lots of demands for you and your time but don’t call them and expect them to come running when you need them. They are only capable of one-sided relationships, which means that you must do all the work.

11. Tries to Separate You from Friends and Family

For an arrogant person to truly control you, they need to alienate you from your family and friends. Anyone that can get into your head and tell you how off your relationship is becoming a threat. Don’t be surprised if they get mad if your friends or relatives call or want to spend time with you.

They will do everything they can to monopolize every minute of your day. However, once they are done with you, or you’ve helped them achieve the status they want, they will drop you like a hot potato.

12. Is Often Loud or Obnoxious in Their Actions

One thing you will notice about the manipulator is that they are often loud or obnoxious. They don’t want to blend into the crowd. Instead, they want to see and impress others with their position and abilities.

13. You Walk on Egg Shells Around Them

As the relationship progresses, you may find that you walk on eggshells around them. By now, you’ve seen their explosive personality, and you know how vindictive and verbally violent they can be. You don’t want to stir them up or make them mad, so you will tiptoe around them to keep things from erupting.

14. They Put You Down and Degrade You

They make it seem like you do nothing right. You are constantly being belittled or degraded for what you do. The verbal abuse starts to take a toll on you as the narcissist is trying everything, they can tear you down.

They wouldn’t want you to think that your superior to them, now would they?

15. Compares You to Others in Their Life

You may get tired of being compared to people who seemingly have it all together. If you try to make them fried chicken and mashed potatoes, they may claim it’s nothing like what they’re used to having. You don’t peel the potatoes right, and the chicken doesn’t have the crispy outer shell that they love.

Stop trying to please this person, as it’s evident that nothing you will ever do will be good enough for their high expectations. Run the other way!

arrogant personFinal Thoughts on The Arrogant Person

The world is full of good and kind people you would love to spend the day or even your life with. However, there are also vindictive and evil people who are arrogant and manipulative. Why is it that these are the ones that you always seem to find when you want a friend or a lover?’

What many people don’t understand is how broken this individual is inside. While they come across as put together and the person who everyone wants to befriend, they are nothing of the sort. They perhaps suffered some emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in their life that altered their view of themselves. They need people like you to help them feel better.

When they are controlling and putting you down, it makes them feel better by feeding their ego. The sad thing is that they can destroy your esteem, and you will have difficulties in how you view yourself because of the damage they’ve caused. Thankfully, by using the red flags above, you can protect yourself from getting involved with the arrogant person.

Why wouldn’t you want to save yourself the heartache and pain? There are too many good people out there who will love you and be your friend or lover without all the strings attached. The manipulator isn’t a true friend anyway.

Woman Who Beat Cancer Explains What Makes Us BEAUTIFUL

What makes us beautiful varies from person to person, as we all have unique personality traits and quirks about us. While at our core, we all have the same basic needs and desires, we all express ourselves very differently. This comes from individual perceptions and ideas about the world around us, developed according to our environment and heredity. However, life experiences tend to alter our personalities a bit, which means every one of us looks at the world through our own lens.

A battle with cancer made what makes us beautiful clear to Sophie Sabbage

Sophie Sabbage, a world-renowned speaker and author who delivers powerful insights about life, offers her own take on what makes us beautiful. She draws on her own tumultuous life experiences to help others navigate theirs with grace and bravery. After getting a cancer diagnosis in 2014, she used her creativity to help her rise above crisis, which birthed some of her most transformative work. She shared some of her most sensitive memories about growing up with us, and we will pass along her inspiring message to you.

 

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Teenage years are often full of awkward, sometimes painful experiences

Sophie often felt singled out because she had matured faster than other girls her age. When she reached double digits, she stood at 5’5, had begun menstruating, and wore a double D-cup bra. She even had to carry an ID on the school bus to prove she was under 16. As a result, she felt as though the boys around her didn’t actually see her at all. Rather, their eyes drifted downwards toward her breasts, making her feel ashamed and vulnerable.

At 15 years old, she didn’t feel she belonged among other girls around her. However, she took it in stride and even make jokes about her appearance to lessen the embarrassment she felt.

“Here are my breasts, the rest of me is coming tomorrow,” she would tell the boys at school. “This was how I alleviated the awkwardness of boys my age, whose eyes tended to meet my overripe breasts from the age of 10 onwards.”

Sophie used humor to deflect her feelings

She said this helped break the ice with boys her age, while keeping her dignity intact. Everyone loved her sense of humor, which eased some of the tension and shifted the focus off her appearance. However, despite her growing popularity, she found that no one would dance with her at school parties.

“Those years became a catalog of humiliations and shame,” she said. “I attended my first proper dance at 14, a charity event, with a thousand tickets and heightened odds of my not merging with the flowers on the wall.”

For the event, her mom had bought her a beautiful pink chiffon dress and a new bra that complemented her figure. She had already been wearing bras for years, but still didn’t feel comfortable with her body. Every morning, her gaze would lift up to the ceiling while putting them on, and she’d imagine herself as a skinny, flat-chested girl instead.

When she got to the dance, she met up with her friends and chatted with them casually. However, she would look around occasionally, hoping that just one boy would ask her to dance. She desperately wanted someone to look beyond her appearance and into the heart that she wore proudly on her sleeve. You see, Sophie wanted to be known for more than just her breasts and self-deprecating humor.

She seemed to get her wish, much to her surprise.

“Far sooner than anticipated, a tall, dark-haired lad asked me to dance. Who knew?”

Giddy and shocked at the same time, she struggled to maintain her composure as they made their way to the dance floor. Sophie didn’t even care if no one else asked her to dance that night, or what the boy’s name was. She was just happy that someone noticed her, and felt beautiful for once.

When the lights went out and the strobe lights got switched on, they lit up anything white on the dance floor. The dimmed lighting helped Sophie relax and bring out her bold side. She allowed the music to permeate every cell in her body, letting go of every care in the world.

“My self-consciousness lifted, and for the first time since my period started and my breasts arrived, I felt worthwhile and attractive and free.”

However, after just a couple minutes of her newfound freedom, she noticed the lights had illuminated her white bra for all to see. Her dance partner picked up on this too, backing several feet away as if to say, “I am not with her.”

She realized what makes us beautiful after a hard journey

This single moment would stay with her for years to come. As time went on, she struggled with an eating disorder and fell into many toxic relationships. However, in her late twenties, she finally found her strength and self-worth after a harrowing experience.

“My boyfriend of three years pinned me to a wall and put his hands around my throat. Up til then, we’d been a perfect psychological match because I believed I was an unworthy woman, and so did he,” she realized. “But in that moment, my self-regard rose with such ferocity – something shifted that never shifted back again.”

But, those experiences gave her powerful lessons about self-worth

She finally understood that she didn’t have to prove anything to deserve self-respect. Simply being a human, existing on this Earth, meant that she mattered. Her self-worth began to blossom from that point on. Because she’d finally discovered love and acceptance for herself, she attracted someone who saw that in her, too.

She met her person at a time when she felt vulnerable and full of grief. However, her struggles made her authentic. He told her, “I don’t know anyone whose beauty is more congruent with her soul.” At that moment, she realized he had fallen in love with much more than just her appearance. He saw deep into her soul, because she refused to disrespect herself.

“My worthiness made me beautiful, because beauty is a verb, not a noun.”

11 Ways To Stop Seeking Reassurance From Others

People have lots to say about everyone and everything. Those opinions can shape your own perspectives, including your view of yourself. If you care too much about other people’s opinions, a lack of their reassurance can tank your confidence levels.

Living your life by the standards and validation of others is not healthy. But how can you stop this cycle and move towards more positive methods of maintaining your self-esteem? Here are 11 ways to boost your self-confidence to stop seeking reassurance from others.

1.    Think About Your Reassurance-Seeking

One of the first things you should do if you constantly seek reassurance is to confront that behavior. What are your motives? What triggers the behavior?

reassuranceYour goal is to do the following:

  • Examine your reassurance-seeking actions and understand why it happens
  • Catch yourself before you perform reassurance-seeking behavior and stop yourself from following through
  • Ask yourself why your own opinion is not sufficient, and to make it sufficient for you

2.    Examine Your Confidence

Sometimes, to boost self-confidence, you need to understand better what your personal relationship with confidence is. To do this, start by choosing two different memories: one from when you felt self-confidence and one where you lacked it. Then, ask yourself these questions for each memory:

  • How did the situation occur?
  • What did you tell yourself as the situation was occurring? How about any thoughts you had?
  • What sort of feelings do you remember having? Were there any notable physical sensations that you felt?
  • What happened as a result of these cumulative factors?
  • How did you feel after these results occurred?

Now, use your two sets of answers – one for each memory, to reflect on what you’ve learned about your confidence and who you are.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What did I do well that caused me to feel confident?
  • Why wasn’t that factor present when I lacked confidence?
  • What can I do to help myself feel more confident, based on what has worked before?
  • What sort of things empower me? How can I make them a part of my everyday life?

3.    Quit The Comparisons

It’s easy to compare yourself to the people around you in a vague attempt at seeking validation. You try to measure up to the people you see and how they present themselves, trying to become as positive as you think they are. But research has shown that envy is directly related to self-perception, so it’s time to stop!

The truth is that comparisons aren’t fair or possible, and they don’t work. Here are a few reasons why:

  • Most people present the best sides of themselves to others, not their flaws or weaknesses.
  • Everyone has their own journey in life and is influenced by millions of tiny factors in their past and present, making true, fair comparisons inherently impossible.
  • Believing others are better than you should be used for motivation, not a reason to beat yourself up
  • Life isn’t a race or a competition, and you can take your time to arrive at your goals.

4.    Create Boundaries and Definitions

The use of clearly defined boundaries, concepts, and goals is beneficial in any personal growth journey. When you’re trying to build confidence, though, it’s advantageous. It allows you to reclaim ideas and parts of you that will contribute to your overall movement towards self-assurance. Here are some things you should define:

·         Personal Boundaries

Know where your personal limits are, inform those around you of them, and create plans to enforce them if they’re crossed. This will get you into the habit of standing up for yourself, even if it makes others unhappy.

·         Values

What are your personal values? Where do you stand on different issues? What are your morals? These are things you shouldn’t compromise on. Learning to stand by these values gives you integrity and lets you practice your ability to stay confident in the face of others’ disapproval.

·         Success

What, to you, is a measure of success? Defining this will allow you to feel accomplished when you meet that definition, giving you the chance to improve your self-esteem with every achievement.

5.    Be Kind To Yourself

Practicing self-compassion means being kinder and gentler to yourself. After all, most people have an easy time being harsh on themselves and are harder on themselves than everyone around them. That’s why this is so important. Plus, studies indicate that self-compassion has positive effects on confidence and self-esteem.

When you are kind to yourself, you:

  • Don’t punish or berate yourself for making an error or experiencing failure.
  • Use positive terms to refer to your everyday actions.
  • Take each negative event as motivation to learn and move forward.
  • Never call yourself names.
  • Pat yourself on the back when you do well
  • Have the ability to laugh at yourself

6.    Keep A Confidence Journal

Writing in itself can be quite therapeutic, but that’s not the only reason to get into the habit of keeping a journal. A journal can help you monitor your progress, express your emotions, write your thoughts, and reflect on your growth and journey.

A confidence journal will be a bit more specific than a simple everyday record. It should have space dedicated to the daily expression of confidence and personal self-reassurance. Here are some prompts to use when writing in this journal:

  • Today, I did well by…
  • I accomplished…
  • I felt terrific about myself when…
  • Today, I had a lot of fun because…
  • Today, I saw this good thing happen…
  • I was proud of myself when…
  • Today, I had this positive experience…

What does this accomplish? Well, it allows you to look back and see just how much you’re capable of, how many wonderful things happen in your life, and how your perspective can be altered. It’s a great way to build your confidence over time slowly.

pop meme7.    Experiment With Challenges

Your brain will often tell you that you can’t do anything. Learn to fight those instincts by challenging your brain. Run “experiments” where you see what will happen if you fight your brain’s messages and your own negative self-talk. Face those challenges with as much positive thinking as you can.

If you have trouble working up the nerve, really lean into the “experiment” aspect. You’re just curious, and you’re just trying it out to see what will happen. You might surprise yourself by how well it turns out, or how little a couple of errors really matter in the end, or how much you’ve learned in exchange for a minor failure.

Here are some great ways to experiment with challenges:

·         Stand At Your Comfort Zone’s Edge

Stretch your way towards the outside of your comfort zone – far enough to feel a little uncomfortable, but not enough to overwhelm yourself.

·         Face Fears

What are you afraid of? Try challenging those beliefs and overcoming those fears with slow and steady exposure.

·         Try New Things

Learn new skills, take classes, and let yourself be bad at brand new experiences. It’s okay to be a beginner again, and a learner’s mindset is an ever-growing one!

·         Question Beliefs

What values and beliefs do you hold at your core? Examine them closely. Do you still really believe them? Have you outgrown them? Is there more to be learned?

8.    Help Others

Helping others is a fantastic way to build confidence because it shows you that you’re capable of making a difference in someone’s life. It allows you to utilize the skills you have to solve a problem and make someone smile.

If you really want to challenge yourself, you can become a mentor or teacher to someone and help them that way. This will allow you to hone your leadership and guidance skills while gaining confidence through your hard work bearing fruit in the person you’re teaching.

You can also offer support to others. It’s powerful to see how just being there for someone can make someone feel so much better. How can you not get a little self-esteem boost when you see that such power lies within you?

9.    Care For Your Physical Health

If you aren’t making sure that your body is in good health, it’s easy for your self-esteem to drop. Studies indicate that caring for your body can improve positive thinking regarding body image, thus increasing confidence levels.

You don’t need to turn into a total gym rat to benefit from self-confidence from physical health. Just:

  • Perform moderate exercise regularly
  • Get enough sleep
  • Eat a relatively balanced diet.
  • Take care of yourself when you get sick.

10. Become Comfortable With Self-Doubt

Many times, your self-doubt will get in the way of you doing what you want to do. You may tell yourself something like, “When I’m more confident, I’ll do this!”.

But here’s a little secret: even the most confident people face self-doubt. They have to power through it with courage and the confidence that they will handle any challenges. They’ve become comfortable with moments like this and are happy to face challenges head-on.

The truth is, oftentimes, the most positive ways to gain confidence involve facing your self-doubt and running with it. It’s good to prepare before jumping in, and practicing can help you gain the confidence to conquer the doubt. But at the end of the day, you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t go for it!

11. Celebrate Your Successes

Have you done well at something, achieved a goal, or found some form of even very minor success? Celebrate it by talking yourself up! Your confidence will get a huge boost when you actively acknowledge the good parts of you as much as you naturally focus on the bad.

It can feel a little odd to pat yourself on the back when you first try getting into the habit but don’t worry. Before long, you’ll start doing so more naturally. Here are some examples of what to celebrate.

  • Compliments that someone gives you
  • Reaching a certain accomplishment.
  • Noticing positive changes in yourself
  • Finishing your to-do list
  • Handling a difficult situation

reassuranceFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence To Stop Seeking Reassurance From Others

Confidence is a beautiful thing, and it’s not to be taken for granted. Building your self-confidence allows you to feel assured and happy with yourself, even without anyone else’s approval.

Psychology Explains Why It’s Ok to Agree to Disagree

We live in a growing pluralistic society of people with various social, religious, and cultural backgrounds. They bring their different values, practices, and beliefs to work, school, and neighborhoods. Disagreements are inevitable, yet, It’s possible to respect another person’s beliefs even if you disagree with them. It’s okay to disagree.

What does agree to disagree mean?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary says that to agree to disagree means “to agree not to argue about a difference of opinion.”  It means that you may have a different opinion than the other person, but you accept that they probably aren’t going to change their mind, and you probably won’t change your mind. You agree not to argue about it and move on. You don’t need to give up your opinion, and the other person has a right to maintain their different opinion.

disagreeIs tolerance bad or good?

You may have heard that tolerating those different from you is necessary. This is true on one level, but tolerance can have some negative aspects.

Tolerance is, in one sense, the ability to endure something you find objectionable. In a society with people practicing different cultural, and religious beliefs that differ in practices and convictions, tolerance can reduce conflict between these diverse groups. Plus, tolerance can be a barrier to protecting citizens’ freedoms and rights so they can live with their own beliefs.

But tolerance isn’t a positive thing for everyone, and some studies suggest that merely tolerance toward someone isn’t necessarily good. Those who disagree say tolerance is a social vehicle contributing to domination and inequality in society. It’s patronizing and a poor substitute for real appreciation and respect.

Are disagreements healthy?

A society with no disagreements is a weak society. It lacks true freedom of thought and ideas. The give and take of ideas indicate intellectual curiosity. When someone respectfully disagrees with you, it forces you to try to understand their perspective. Some of the best friendships are forged in disagreement between two people who respect one another enough to disagree. They aren’t threatened by disagreement and can have deep conversations about what they believe without fear of rejection.

How do you respectfully agree to disagree?

1 – People matter

Remember, people are more important than being right, so give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Please view them and yourself accurately. Remember that no human is 100% correct. Your views may be skewed, and the other person’s view may be skewed, making the playing field very level. Show them respect and kindness, even if you disagree with them.

2 – Words matter

According to the American Psychological Association, “words matter.” Word your arguments in a non-intimidating way. Ask questions. Don’t dominate the conversation. Repeat back what you think you heard, saying something like:

“I think I heard you say________. Could you explain to me a bit more what you mean?”

Choose inclusive words like “we” or “I” instead of “you.” This can come across like you’re lecturing the person. Most importantly, be kind and humble, and let your words display these qualities.

3 – Find common ground

There is always some level of common ground you both can agree upon in most disagreements, be it big or small. Highlight what you agree on to ensure the other person doesn’t feel like you are against them.  Laying a foundation of what you agree on will allow you to discuss where you disagree without fear of hurting the relationship. Be sure to suggest that you talk about this issue again because this keeps the dialogue going and could help you resolve the disagreement.

pop meme4 – Don’t apologize for your beliefs

Don’t apologize for having a different opinion than other people. That’s the beauty of freedom and disagreeing. Don’t feel guilty if you disagree. This may be hard, especially if you admire the person and feel like you should agree with them. Don’t say, “I’m sorry, I disagree with you,” because it’s okay to have a different opinion.

5 – Be a good listener

Be sure to listen with your eyes, ears, and mouth when the other person is talking. It’s easy to think about what you want to say next when you disagree and miss what the person is saying. Listening well shows them that you respect and want to learn from them. Ask good questions, especially if you don’t understand their point. Questions you could ask include:

  • What do you feel you want me to understand about this thing we disagree on?
  • How does your belief affect the way you live? Why?
  • Can you explain to me your conviction, about_______more?
  • What would you like me to know most about your feelings about_______?
  • What do you think we could agree on?
  • What do you think we especially disagree with?
  • How could I be a better listener right now?

At the end of the disagreement, ask them if anything they did or said made them feel disrespected. If you make an effort to be a good listener and a good learner, People will feel safe with you and that you truly value their opinions and beliefs even if though they know you disagree with them.

When is it not okay to agree to disagree?

Sometimes you need to decide that you can’t agree to disagree for various reasons. You never want to go along with something that goes against your conscience or is asking you to do something illegal or immoral. Here are just a few reasons why it’s not okay to disagree.

1 – To shut down all conversations

There is nothing worse than being in the middle of a disagreement, and one individual stands up and says,  “Okay, I agree to disagree!” This is a manipulative thing to do and shut down the conversation. Agreeing to disagree must be mutual with both parties. If this happens, you shouldn’t allow the person to manipulate you into another conversation where they may do this again. Good chance they don’t care to understand what you believe, and instead of humbly saying so, they walk away.

2 – To avoid conflict

A study published by the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, via the National Institute of Health suggests that suppression of emotions might lead to physical consequences.

It’s easy to want to keep the peace and never get into a disagreement with anyone, but this isn’t always helpful.  Avoiding confrontation can lead to not having a deep relationship.  If you agree to disagree with avoiding conflict all the time but never get to real issues you both have, it’s sticking your head in the sand and hoping the disagreement will get worked out without any effort on your part.

It’s best to sit down with the individual and discuss the issues. Try to resolve what you can and what you can’t. You’ll need to leave for a later date if they’re willing.

3 – It’s not an excuse for abuse

If the person wants you to agree to disagree on a moral issue, something illegal, or an issue of abuse, you must refuse to go along with them. Respecting their views doesn’t mean you accept their bad behavior. It may be good to distance yourself from this person if this is being asked of you. If you think someone is in danger because of this person’s actions, you need to report it to the police.

disagreeFinal thoughts on knowing that it is okay to agree to disagree

Disagreeing with someone may feel intimidating at first.  But if you are secure in your beliefs and convictions, it gets easier. Be sure you are comfortable discussing things with people in a respectful way. Learn to be a good listener and ask good questions.  Disagreements can be healthy for relationships because it teaches us what other people believe and think. We can grow and learn in these conversations.

Use respectful words and ask questions when you are in a discussion with someone. Look for common ground and remember that you may not see everything as clearly as you think. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. We all have our shortcomings and bad days, so be kind and gentle even though you feel strongly about your convictions. Never say you’re sorry for what you believe.

If someone attacks you or walks out on the conversation, it may be time to find a new friend or partner. Disagreements reveal the true character of a person. Be open to agreeing to disagree on some issues, but be sure to keep the dialogue going because you may change your mind later.

15 Incredible Ways to Find Strength from Within

Everyone has situations in life that require inner strength to get through. You may feel like you don’t have that kind of inner strength. Here are 15 ways you can find the inner strength you need in your life.

Inner strength is staying power and resilience. It involves courage and tenacity to withstand difficulties. Studies show that inner strength is essential for good mental health and a sense of wellbeing. It’s a huge component is healing.

How to find strength from within

There are many ways to cultivate your strength from within. These 15 suggestions are just a few of the many ways to grow more resilient and tenacious.

strength from within1 – Find hope

When you possess hopefulness, you feel more optimistic about your life. You expect good things to happen in your life. This expectation of good things allows you to have confidence and calm in your life. When people lose hope, they worry about all the bad things that could happen. Spreading hope gives the people around you a sense of peace. Hopeful people are more involved with helping others because they possess the confidence to spread their positive attitude.

2 – Don’t dwell on your past mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. Beating yourself up about your past mistakes is never productive. It traps you in a cycle of guilt and shame. Cultivating inner strength means you can admit your mistakes and move on. You can learn from your mistakes so you can avoid doing the same thing again.

3 – Decide to have a different view of challenges

Inner strength affects many areas of your life. It equips you to view life and its challenges with mental toughness. Mental fortitude helps you view challenges as opportunities to grow and find new solutions. You don’t let hard things get you down but rise to the occasion. When you think about people you know who are successful, no doubt you’ll see people who have gone through a lot of setbacks and hardships just like you. Most of these people have in common that they possess an inner resilience and the ability to not give up in the face of challenges.

4 – Learn to be courageous

Courage doesn’t mean that you aren’t afraid, but it’s the choice not to allow your fear to rule your life. Courage means you do something despite your fears. Getting stuck in a negative attitude that tells you that you can’t do things causes you to be more passive. You’ll be less apt to try new things out of fear that you’re going to fail. Don’t allow fear to prevent you from stepping out of your comfort zone. Whether it’s taking a new job, choosing to be a stay at home mom, or moving to a new location, cultivate the courage to help you gain strength from within.

5 – Cultivate your faith

Faith helps you get through difficult times by giving you a sense of inner strength and peace. Faith in something outside yourself helps you overcome your fears and feelings of inadequacy. Knowing you can pray and pour out your heart to God gives you a sense of peace and confidence in life.

6 – Take responsibility for your actions

When you have inner strength, you’re not afraid to admit or take responsibility for your actions.

You’re secure enough to say, “I messed up.”. It can be hard sometimes to be honest with yourself and others, but it’s actually freeing. Taking responsibility for your actions helps you have mental toughness. So, if you make a mistake, you admit it and then move on. You’ll be stronger for it.

pop meme7 – Find a community of people

Gather with a group of people who will support you and challenge you to grow. Finding community is essential for gaining inner strength. As you live life with others, you learn to help them and receive help. You learn how to listen to other’s thoughts and find ways to communicate your thoughts and ideas. When you isolate yourself from others, you lose out on the dynamic of shared experiences. You’ll find valuable friendships and have a sense of belonging.

8 – Resist fear

Today, fear is a huge driving force behind many people’s decisions. Fear is never a good motivator. Fear negatively impacts your mind and health. In fact, studies show that fear contributes to heart disease, autoimmune diseases, anxiety, and depression. Having inner strength gives you the ability to step out to face challenges rather than to give in to fear.

9 – Free up your mind

Learn to remove negative thoughts from your mind.  Frustration overwhelms your brain and weighs you down, so you can’t think straight. It distracts you, so you can’t get things done. Practicing mindfulness can help you focus and become more decisive. Focus on what’s good and true. Other ways to free up your mind include

  • Reading
  • Exercise
  • Trying a new hobby
  • Journaling
  • Breathing exercises

10 – Get physically fit

Your mind and body are connected. Have you ever noticed how athletes possess an inner mental strength that helps them overcome physical challenges? Athletes not only need a strong body, but they need mental toughness to win. They find strength from within by cultivating their inner strength from within. Making your body strong by eating a healthy diet and exercising doesn’t seem like it will do much for your mental strength, but it will boost your inner strength. You’ll feel better physically to overcome challenges in your life better.

Inner strength qualities

Finding strength inside yourself involves growing in character qualities. Here is a list of the unique qualities of those people who possess inner strength.

  • Courage: You are willing to face scary situations, not in the absence of fear, but despite your fears. You attempt difficult things even at personal risk.
  • Curiosity: You want to learn about new things. You ask questions to understand better. You don’t assume you know everything, but you’re willing to learn from others.
  • Kindness: You seek others’ welfare. You’re ready to help others in need.
  • Love: You choose to show love to others different from you as well as those like you.
  • Intelligence: You value learning and understanding. You aren’t intimidated by new ideas.
  • Creativity: You have the ability and desire to come up with new solutions to problems. You look for unusual solutions that no one else has thought about or tried.
  • Gratitude: You find things to be grateful for every day rather than complaining about what isn’t right. You make an effort to thank the people in your life who have helped and inspired you.
  • Leadership: You step up to lead when necessary, whether it’s at home or work.
  • Prudence: You choose wisdom over recklessness.
  • Humor: You can laugh at yourself. You know how to use humor to defuse arguments or division. You don’t take yourself too seriously.
  • Humility: You know it’s not all about you. You know your limitations and like to acknowledge other people’s successes and strengths.
  • Integrity: You can be trusted. You will do what you say you will do. You keep your promises.
  • Teamwork: You can get along with people to get a job done. You can keep your ego in check enough to follow another person’s leadership.
  • Spirituality: You have faith and believe that something bigger than yourself is overseeing the world.
  • Persistence: You don’t give up when things get difficult. You have tenacity.

strength from withinFinal thoughts on finding strength from within

Everyone needs inner strength to face the challenges in life. You may feel like you don’t have enough strength to face difficulties. These suggestions can help you grow in inner strength. It won’t happen overnight. Inner strength takes time, and it’s often gained through hardships or making mistakes. Some of the most successful people are those who have faced defeat but didn’t give up.

They found inner strength within by getting back up and trying again. You are stronger than you think, so don’t give in to fear or anxiety. Find ways to cultivate curiosity, courage, moving past your mistakes, and getting physically fit. All these things can help you grow in inner strength to become the person you want to be.

5 Ways Looking Down On Others Destroys Your Self-Confidence

Do you ever find yourself thinking you’re above other people? Do you tend to think others are worse than you or find fault in the people around you? It’s a big mistake! Looking down on others can destroy your own self-worth.

If you relate to those statements, then, unfortunately, you’ve been killing your own self-esteem! But how?

5 Ways Looking Down On Others Destroys Your Self-Confidence

Here are five ways looking down on others destroys your self-confidence and how to stop it in 4 ways.

looking down on others1.    You Don’t Focus On Yourself

Focusing on looking down on other people also means that your attention is fixated on other people in general. It takes away the time that you could use to spend on yourself. That can easily cause anyone to lose touch with who they are.

Being confident involves being a little selfish about yourself. It means taking the time to focus on who you are, be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and making yourself feel good about yourself and in general. You can’t do that if your attention is too busy being spent on random others.

2.    You Get A Skewed View Of Others

Social comparison isn’t an inherently negative thing if you’re doing it correctly. Learning to reasonably take note of what you appreciate or admire in others can inspire you to do better and change positively.

Of course, the issue is that looking down on others isn’t the “correct” way to do this. It means you’re only finding fault in other people, and you can’t learn from what you dislike about them.

Many people who seek social comparison go about it this way or in a toxic manner, seeking only to seek self-esteem boosts or self-enhancement. The problem with this is that they do so via distortion to gain inauthentic positive thinking out of it. This means they:

  • Make upward social comparisons, where they look “up” at others, to justify their poor performance: “They’re so much better at this than me because they’ve been training for years, of course, I’m not doing as well!”
  • Make downward social comparisons, where they look “down” on others, to make themselves feel better: “I’m not actually doing that badly, look at her – she’s way worse than me!”
  • Completely avoid making any comparisons or making certain types of comparisons if they don’t want an honest self-evaluation: “Whatever, who cares how I’m doing, it doesn’t even matter!”

This is a form of psychological denial. It skews reality in your favor but makes you dependent on that skewing, forming a vicious downward spiral. You begin to need these biased comparisons to feel good about yourself, as you’ve not tried to find confidence in more productive ways.

3.    You Define Yourself By Others’ Standards

The standards of other people are their own. When you look down on others, you’re performing acts of comparison, but that comparison means you’re focusing on how they conduct themselves. It may not seem like it, but you’re tangling up their standards with yours.

Take, for example, social media. Most studies reveal that seeing someone doing well or achieving something on social media can often reduce self-esteem and positive thinking, even if you also feel happy for that person. So when you see someone doing well on social media and look down on them, it’s pretty easy to fall into that trap regardless.

Acting high and mighty doesn’t stop you from subconsciously comparing yourself to others. To put others down, you have to be performing some comparison. Of course, those comparisons are pointless. Each person is battling their own demons and focusing on their own growth. Putting any link between your journey and theirs is a surefire way to damage your self-esteem by these arbitrary standards.

4.    You Don’t Accept Yourself

While it’s fine and healthy to make decisions about who you want to spend your time on and who you don’t, there’s a line to be drawn at deciding if someone is “worthy.” A lot of the time, these kinds of thoughts and put-downs are a projection of your own trouble accepting yourself.

Self-acceptance is the key to self-confidence. Putting others down wastes energy on your non-acceptance of others. It shouldn’t matter if you accept others or not – all you have to be at peace with is yourself and who you are.

5.    You Don’t Think About What Makes You Who You Are

True self-confidence comes from the ability to love all the parts of you and accept them for what they are. If you’re putting others down, you forget that they have their own factors that make them who they are, just like you do. Unfortunately, that also often means you don’t think about what makes you unique! For example:

·         Your Past

Your past may have pain, messiness, or even just some things you aren’t proud of in it. Owning that past gives you better insight into how other people are shaped by their own pasts and will often make you feel less comfortable looking down on others.

·         Your Future

Looking down on others is short-sighted. You’re seeing someone as a static, non-changing being, not as someone who will grow over time and become better and stronger. It often means your view of yourself is similarly short-sighted, but the fact is that you have a lot left to experience. If you focus on that, you’ll see yourself in a new light.

·         Things You Can Be Grateful For

Let’s face it – almost no one who actively spends time looking down on others is paying enough attention to all the things they can be grateful for. Gratitude is a highly positive thing and can improve your entire mental state, including yourself-esteem. Don’t waste energy on put-downs; focus instead on being thankful.

How To Stop Looking Down On Others In 4 Ways

empowering quotes1.    Use Empathy, Not Judgment

Putting others down means judging them. It’s not uncommon for someone’s judgment to be an automatic or knee-jerk response. It’s true that in many cases, the capacity for positive empathy has to be learned if it is not genetically present from the start. But there’s no better time to start learning than now!

The key to this is realizing that you don’t know someone’s story. You don’t know what they go through, how they feel, or what they thought when they did something odd or unusual. You need to replace those thoughts with other ones by catching the judgments and stopping them. Here are some examples of empathetic replacement statements:

  • Judgment: “Wow, they’re very heavy. They must be unhealthy.”

Empathy: “They may be going through a rough patch, may have a medical condition, or maybe their main focus isn’t on their weight right now. They deserve basic respect and decency, regardless of size.”

  • Judgment: “I can’t believe they would just let their kid throw a fit in public.”

Empathy: “Parenting is such a difficult job, and kids have tantrums for all sorts of reasons. They look like they’re doing their best to handle the situation!”

  • Judgment: “They seriously didn’t do this correctly again? They’re definitely not trying hard enough!”

Empathy: “Different people have different learning speeds and styles. Maybe this hasn’t been explained to them in a way that they understand! I should talk to them about this.”

2.    Be Motivated By Others

Instead of looking for reasons to scoff at others, search for reasons to be motivated by others. In other words, seek out the good in people! Find things you admire about them and that is positive about them, then use this as inspiration to drive yourself forward. You’ll find that you experience a much brighter life when you have this perspective, and this is a mark of high self-esteem. For example:

  • Take note of the leadership skills of your manager, who you usually look down on for being strict
  • Compliment your friend’s best qualities and seek to learn from them instead of scoffing at their weaknesses
  • Be inspired by the business drive of someone you usually roll your eyes at for showing off their designer clothes on social media

3.    Stop Considering Differences As Bad Things

People are different and unique. The world is full of individuals who aren’t like you. That’s just a fact of life, and it doesn’t mean they are better than, worse than, or even requiring comparison to you.

Diversity is a beautiful thing, and the world would be terribly boring if everyone were the same. Try learning and internalizing these facts:

  • What works for one person will not work for another.
  • People respond to events and circumstances in different ways.
  • An inability to understand someone’s point of view doesn’t make that point of view bad.
  • Uniqueness isn’t a personal attack on you.
  • Differences aren’t a sign that something is wrong.
  • The world’s ideas of “normal” are arbitrary and don’t need to be abided by

4.    Be Kinder To Yourself

At the end of the day, the way you talk about and look at others is often a projection of how you talk about and look at yourself. So if you find yourself always putting down others, it’s likely that you put yourself down – and you deserve better than that!

Learn to refocus the way you perceive yourself and others at the same time by being more compassionate to yourself. Change the way you think about and talk about yourself. Here are some examples:

  • Negative thought: “I may be awful at this, but at least they’re worse than I am.”

Re-focused thought: “I have my fair share of flaws and weaknesses, and so do they. We also both have our own strengths where we can shine!”

  • Negative thought: “I’m such a lazy person. Luckily, I still do more work than them.”

Re-focused thought: “I’ve been struggling with these tasks and need to get to the bottom of why. Am I overwhelmed? Do I need a break? Maybe they do too!”

  • Negative thought: “I can’t believe I made such a bad mistake. Well, they made an even worse one last month, so we’re even.”

Re-focused thought: “Mistakes are normal, and everyone makes them! A little embarrassment is worth the lesson I’ve learned.”

looking down on othersFinal Thoughts On How Looking Down On Others Destroys Your Self-Esteem And How To Stop It

The way you treat others is often a reflection of your character and mental state. And, beyond just that, it’s also simply cruel, unfair, and rude to look down on the people around you. Respect others, and you’ll find that respecting yourself comes much more easily!

Meet a Couple on a Mission to Make a Kinder World by Rescuing Animals

We can all contribute to a kinder world in our own unique way. One couple decided to bring more compassion to the planet by opening an animal sanctuary. Sadly, many animals don’t get treated with kindness and love as they should.

Especially with farmed animals such as chickens and cows in large, commercial farms, mistreatment is common. Knowing the horrors of Big Agriculture, the couple wanted to save as many animals as possible.

This Vegan Farm Makes A Kinder World For Animals

kinder world“We opened on July 19, 2020, and in less than a year, we’ve rescued 35 farmed animals from either the animal agriculture industry or abusive circumstances,” says Rian, founder and president of Uncle Neil’s Home, a 501(c)3 nonprofit sanctuary for rescued farm animals.

The sanctuary located in Bridgeton, New Jersey, is home to cows, chickens, goats, ducks, and more. The couple has full-time jobs outside their farm life, but dedicates all their time after work to the animals. They’ve been vegan for a few years but felt they could do more to usher in a kinder world.

Rian says:

“Many years ago, we began our rescue journey with a dog rescue until quickly realizing that being a voice for the voiceless doesn’t just apply to the animals that we are conditioned to consider family and welcome into our homes, but to all living beings.”

Most of us can probably agree that we have a special place in our hearts for our pets. When we don’t have that connection with other animals, it’s harder to see them in the same light. However, the reality is that all living beings deserve love, regardless of how we’ve been conditioned to treat them.

Rian says that after rescuing their first dog, they started opening their eyes to animal cruelty in general.

“So, when we rescued and nursed our dog Uncle Neil back to health in 2018, it was impossible not to think of the countless other animals who needed our love and protection just like he did. He inspired us to take that love and spread it to other animals in need.”

How Veganism Brings Us To A Kinder World

Being vegan and rescuing animals (if you’re able) can create a kinder world

Of course, everyone’s dietary needs and preferences are different, so we’re not saying everyone should go vegan. However, at least cutting back on animal products and opting for more fruits and veggies can benefit your health and the planet as well. Studies have shown that eating a lot of meat can contribute to heart disease and other health problems.

Not to mention, raising animals for meat requires huge amounts of feed and water. Most importantly, the majority of meats sold in supermarkets come from factory farms, where animals are abused and mistreated. Unless it’s grass-fed or humanely raised, it only perpetuates the animal cruelty so rampant in modern society.

If you can’t rescue animals (as most people probably can’t), you can still make a difference. What you put on your plate each day is totally in your control, and the dietary choices you make can help to create a kinder world.

 

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A post shared by Uncle Neil’s Home (@uncleneilshome)

“We were already vegan and abstained from using and exploiting animals, but we wanted to do more. My fiancé (and cofounder) and I purchased a farm and turned it into a safe haven for rescued farmed animals,” Rian said. “We named the sanctuary Uncle Neil’s Home in honor of Uncle Neil. And, we began our mission to rescue farmed animals and give them a lifelong home, while educating and advocating for a vegan cruelty-free lifestyle to make this world a kinder place for all beings.”

The rescued animals at the sanctuary seem to love their new life. Rian and her partner have created an atmosphere where the animals feel cared for, loved and appreciated. They treat the animals with kindness, and they provide the couple with companionship, in return.

“Our residents love being brushed and pampered. They love fresh fruits and vegetables, basking in the sun, relaxing and simply enjoying their freedom,” Rian says.

A Kinder World Starts With Us

We all want to enjoy a peaceful, happy existence. However, it’s our choices and actions each day that keep us from achieving this as a collective. Many problems exist on the planet, but we can tackle them by working together. One way to create a kinder world is by treating people and animals as we would want to be treated.

“There is no moral justification for causing harm to others, especially the most vulnerable beings on our planet. We must recognize that all animals are capable of emotion, feeling love, pain, and joy, bonding with others and forming complex relationships just like you and I do,” Rian says. “We have a choice to make every single day. Approach others with kindness, or with violence. We encourage you to choose kindness to help us make this world a safer, happier, more positive and peaceful place for all.”

 

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A post shared by Uncle Neil’s Home (@uncleneilshome)

As the couple navigates owning a sanctuary, they’re considering allowing visitors or volunteers to come help. It does take a lot of work since it’s just Rian and her partner for now. However, saving the animals and providing them with a loving home is 100% worth it to them. If you’d like to receive updates on the volunteering situation, make sure to follow their Instagram page.

Also, their sanctuary relies on donations from the public to keep operating. If you’d like to donate to help them out, you can do so here.

Final Thoughts On a Kind Couple Who Started A Vegan Farm

We all have our own ideas of how to make the world a better place. For Rian and her partner, opening an animal sanctuary seemed like a good path to take. They’re both vegan, so they already care deeply about animals. However, they wanted to take things a step further and rescue animals from abuse or neglect.

Today, they have 35 animals that they love taking care of, even though it’s hard work. They’re continuing to learn as they go, and hope to inspire others to treat every being with kindness along the way.

Farm Animals Enjoy a New Life at a Vegan Sanctuary

Unfortunately, not all farm animals get to live out their lives naturally or humanely. In our modern world, many of them live in horrific conditions, especially at commercial meat and dairy farms. Not only do the animals suffer greatly, but it takes a toll on our environment as well.

According to PetPedia, here are some statistics about factory farming:

  • Globally, farmers breed about 70 billion farm animals for consumption.
  • In the US, 99% of farm animals live in factory farms.
  • The majority of antibiotics globally goes toward feeding farm animals.
  • Chicken today contains 220% more fat than it did in the 1950s.
  • Dairy cows on factory farms have a lifespan of only 5 years. Then, the production facilities slaughter them for meat.
  • 94% of Americans say they believe the animals bred for consumption shouldn’t suffer.
  • According to the EPA, factory farming causes more water wastage than any other source in the US.
  • Around 260 million acres of forests in the US were harvested to produce fields for farm animals.
  • In the US, it’s estimated that 40% of agricultural emissions come from factory farms.
  • Farm animals living in factory farms grow at a rate three times faster than normal.
  • Dairy cows spend the majority of their lives pregnant, as the farmers need a steady supply of milk. They only get to rest a few months between pregnancies.
  • In 2007, dairy cows produced 20,000 lbs worth of milk.
  • Around the world, scientists estimate that two-thirds of animals raised for food come from factory farms.
  • 35,000 miles of river in 22 US states have been polluted by waste from raising cattle, poultry, and hogs.
  • 90% of the Amazon rainforest harvested in the last 50 years went to commercial livestock production.
  • Farm animals consume 70% of freshwater globally.
  • Farming cows produces the largest amount of methane.

The impact of factory farming

Because of the horrific consequences of factory farming on animals and the planet, many people have chosen to go vegan. Not only did Mackenzie Sullivan and Billy Graydus choose a vegan lifestyle; they opened their very own vegan sanctuary! Here’s their story.

“Ellie Mae Farm Sanctuary is a vegan farm animal sanctuary. We’re dedicated to rescuing, caring, and providing a home for neglected, abused, and abandoned farm animals.”

How the couple started rescuing farm animals

Mackenzie says she first met Ellie Mae (who she named the sanctuary after) when she was 4 months old. She had to pick a farm animal to train for an event for an animal science course at the University of Connecticut. After being with her a few months, she grew very close to Ellie Mae.


“After the course was over, she was auctioned off and a local farmer purchased her,” Mackenzie said. “I was able to visit her for the next three years. Soon after, she was impregnated, and when I found out Ellie Mae was pregnant, I knew I had to do something to save her and her soon-to-be calf.”

From their website: “When Ellie was almost two years old she was artificially inseminated and on September 16, 2018 she gave birth to a baby girl who we named, Zee. Once Zee was born I could not rest until I knew those two girls were safe. I was finally able to convince the farmer to let me have them. So we bought a trailer and moved the two girls to our first property in May of 2019.

During this time I visited as many sanctuaries as possible and interned at a sanctuary in New York. I continued to learn more about the injustices that farmed animals endured every day and grew ever more passionate about saving as many of these beautiful animals as possible. With my incredible partner, Billy, we started the sanctuary and decided to name it Ellie Mae Farm Sanctuary, after the girl who changed my world forever.”

Mackenzie says the animals give her a sense of purpose and keep her motivated to continue rescuing farm animals. Because so many of these animals receive abuse in factory farming, she wants to save as many as she can. She believes all animals deserve safety and equal treatment.

Cows can form bonds with humans much like dogs can

“We work hard each day so that the animals are able to live out the lives that they deserve, the lives that they want to live.”

Currently, they have three cows living at the sanctuary: Ellie Mae, her calf Zee, and another adult cow named Blackberry. They also adopted and rescued an 8-year-old Lab mix named Nala! As animal lovers, they will invite as many furry friends as possible onto their farm. Now that they’ve had the cows for a while, Mackenzie and Billy have grown close to them all.

“You learn how to communicate with them and how different each animal is from the next,” Mackenzie says. “My absolute favorite thing is knowing that they finally begin to trust you and you can give so much love to them, and they will also give you love in return.”

Mackenzie says that they will keep advocating for them and sharing their stories to spread awareness of a vegan lifestyle. They want to encourage others to make better choices to reduce the suffering among all beings, as well as the planet.

Final thoughts: a vegan lifestyle has a positive impact on farm animals and the planet

Humankind uses much of the land on Earth for agriculture, it makes sense to go vegan to reduce our environmental impact. While this lifestyle may not suit everyone, even eating less meat can make a big difference. If you do choose to eat meat, try to buy from sustainably sourced farms. As for eggs and dairy, make sure the box or carton says “humanely raised.”

We can all make kinder choices each day for the animals, our health, and the planet. No matter what foods you eat, choose as many ethically sourced options as you can. And, if you have the time and resources, you may consider opening a sanctuary as Billy and Mackenzie did! Plenty of farm animals out there desperately need a new home.

Inspiring Woman Loses over 100 Pounds to Improve her Life

If you have fitness goals but struggle with motivation, this inspiring woman may help kickstart your journey. Rayy Syymone ended up losing over 100 pounds naturally, completely transforming her life and mindset. She now works as a certified personal trainer and became the face of 24 Hour Fitness on billboards across the country! We hope her story will encourage you to take that first step toward a healthy lifestyle and a happier you.

Rayy began her journey at 275 pounds; she felt unsatisfied with her lifestyle and partner and wanted better for herself.

“I just wanted to make something of myself this time around,” she says.

Back in 2017, she decided to embark on this fitness journey, not knowing where it would lead but determined to see it through. Rayy wanted to feel comfortable in her own skin and have more energy in her daily life. She knew the journey would push her limits mentally and physically, but she felt ready for the challenges.

“The reason why I started my journey is because I got tired of being in a body that just did not belong to me.”

She decided to hit the ground running and signed up with a personal trainer in the beginning of her journey. The exercises definitely challenged her, but she noticed changes in her fitness levels relatively quickly.

“My personal trainer put me into a lot of HIIT exercises, strength training as well as cardio,” she says. “So, my heart rate was up, I was sweating a lot, and I was doing a lot of exercises that I never knew I could actually do with being my size.”

This motivated her to take a huge step forward in her career as well. After seeing her results, she wanted to help others take charge of their health and become their best selves.

An inspiring woman becomes a fitness coach after losing 100 pounds

“So from that point on, I ended up becoming a certified personal trainer and now I actually train a lot of clients, and it’s been the best thing ever.”

However, her decision to become a personal trainer didn’t happen right away. First, she had to increase her own fitness level and change her mindset, which proved quite challenging. Getting motivated to workout most days of the week felt exhausting, but she stuck with it.

“In the beginning, it was very hard. It was hard to get up,” she says. “It was very hard for me. It was hard to stay committed; it was hard to stay on the schedule; it was hard to make that a part of my life; it was hard for me to actually know that my health was important.”

However, despite these struggles, she knew she had to keep going. She wanted to become her best self and really push past those limits. Deciding to make herself a priority, this inspiring woman did whatever it took to get healthy. Rayy realized if she didn’t take that leap now, her health would only get worse down the road.

“I had to learn how to make time. You know, making time is really not easy, but I had to make time in order to make sure that I live,” she said.

Oftentimes, people struggle the most in the beginning since the body isn’t used to so much resistance. However, just as diamonds need pressure to form, humans also require challenges in order to grow. We learn valuable lifelong lessons by making the decision to transform ourselves for the better. Through these trials, we also learn a lot about our strengths and capabilities.

Biggest lessons and positive changes that came from Rayy’s fitness journey

“The biggest obstacles that I faced throughout my weight loss journey was accepting and loving myself, and starting where I am or where I was,” Rayy said.

She also had to learn to become her own best friend and go at her own pace. She realized that patience and positive self-talk rather than beating herself up mentally would get her much farther. Rayy knew that lasting changes would happen only if she treated this as a journey, not a race.

“It’s something that you’re doing for yourself, by yourself, and you’re going to learn a lot of things along the way.”

At first, she didn’t know what types of workouts to do, but she eventually found what worked best for her. She said a combination of HIIT workouts and strength training seemed to give her the best results. Of course, this will look different for everyone, so don’t hesitate to try different things until you find your match. However, you’ll want to incorporate some type of cardio and resistance training so you get a whole-body workout.

Rayy loves strength training because it helps your muscles grow and challenges you to add weight over time. She also enjoys HIIT because it gets your heart rate up, makes you sweat, and burns a lot of calories in a short time.

After doing these workouts for a while, Rayy started noticing positive changes in her life. Not only did her physical health get better; her mental health also improved drastically since she began working on herself.

“I am a much happier person. Like I said before, my skin is glowing, I smile all the time – my energy just radiates off of me and it just bestows on other people.”

Rayy’s advice for anyone wanting to lose weight

This incredibly inspiring woman wants everyone to know they can achieve results just as she did. She says to just stay consistent, trust the process, drink plenty of water, eat healthy, and love yourself along the journey. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for help from others if you need it. Plenty of people have been where you’re at and would be glad to offer tips and support!

Remember that health doesn’t just mean looking good physically – it involves taking care of your mental and emotional health also. When you begin your journey, try not to focus so much on your weight, and instead shift your attention to how much better you feel! Your approach and mindset toward health can make all the difference in your success.

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