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Is Yawning Contagious? Scientists Explain Why We Do It

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Yawning has been observed and researched for many years, but there is still much to figure out. It has remained a mystery all along, but there are some theories about it. Scientists believe they are beginning to figure out why humans yawn and if it is contagious.

The definition and the mechanics of it are well known, of course. It is a natural bodily reflex that includes taking a deep breath in, opening your jaw wide, and quickly and forcefully exhaling. Yawning causes a feeling of relaxation, stretching of the eardrums, and eyes to close tightly.

One theory of why people yawn is that they need oxygen, bringing more oxygen into your body. This theory isn’t well-supported, however, and many researchers believe it isn’t true. It seems to have more to do with brain temperature, empathy, and other factors.

Scientists Explain Why We Yawn

While all of this is still being researched, scientists have discovered some reasons why people yawn. They have also done work to figure out if the reflex is contagious, as it is widely believed to be.

1 – It Cools Your Brain

Thermal images show that yawning might help to cool the human brain. When you inhale deeply during a yawn, it pulls cool air into your mouth and body. This then cools the blood that goes to the brain.

This theory could explain when you yawn more when you have a fever. If your brain is hot and this reflex cools it down, it’s only expected that you yawn more at this time.

This seems to occur anytime the brain is too hot, not only when there is a fever present. It removes hot blood from around the brain and replaces it with cool blood.

Another thing to consider is how often you yawn in the winter compared to the summer. In the winter, most people yawn quite a bit less than they do in the summer. This further supports the theory that it happens when your brain needs cooled.

2 – You Feel Stressed

High levels of cortisol can trigger a yawn, and cortisol levels increase when you are stressed. So, if you are feeling stressed, you’ll notice that you yawn more often.

3 – To Change Your State of Awareness

Your body has to function in different ways at different times of the day. Sometimes when you yawn, it is a way for your body to change its state. Then, your body will be able to function accordingly.

When you yawn at night time or before bed, it is your body’s way of preparing for rest. If you yawn when you are bored, it’s a sign that your body is shifting to a lower level of alertness. Likewise, if you yawn after exercising, it’s because your body is changing from high energy to low energy.

4 – Communication

Humans communicate with one another in physical ways that they don’t even realize. One way this is done is through a yawn. It is believed to be an unspoken way of indicating boredom or a need for sleep. Research suggests that this might be the most “contagious” yawn of all.

5 – To Make Up for Elevation Changes

When you are on an airplane or driving up a mountain, this natural reflex is a way to equalize ear pressure. You will likely do it involuntarily and continue to do it on purpose when you realize it works.

6 – To Show Empathy

If you have social empathy, you will likely yawn at the same time as other people. This happens when you are reading about it or talking about it, as well. Even the mention of a yawn can trigger the reflex.

While this could be true for everyone, those who are more empathetic will be more likely to yawn when someone else does. It is also believed that the closer you are to someone emotionally, the more likely you are to yawn when they do.

7 – To Keep You Alert

Many people believe that a yawn is an indication of sleepiness, but this is not entirely accurate. Instead, it is believed that a yawn is a way to keep you alert. Since you likely aren’t very alert when you are exhausted, this is probably why it continually happens when you are tired.

When you yawn, your heart rate increases, which is why it can make you more alert. It only works for a short time, so you’ll notice it frequently happens during these times. This is also why you tend to fidget and stretch during this because those are other ways to increase alertness.

When you yawn just after waking up, it helps you become alert and ready for the day. It will stretch the lungs and tissues and help the body flex the muscles before starting to move. Plus, it forces the blood toward your head, which is sure to make you more alert.

Another way this natural reflex helps keep you alert is by keeping you more in-tune with your surroundings. When you yawn, muscles in your ears are stimulated, which leads to greater hearing sensitivity. You will be able to hear things you wouldn’t have otherwise heard.

Plus, the activation of those muscles will increase your range of movement. Plus, you will squeeze your eyes shut and open them back up during a yawn, making your eyesight clearer.

So, Is Yawning Contagious?

Now that you know what the scientists say about why you yawn, it’s time to learn if it is contagious. You have probably yawned when you saw someone else yawn, and this likely even occurs often. Plus, you may have yawned while reading this since even the thought of a yawn can trigger one.

As you have probably already guessed, the answer is yes. Yawning is contagious, but only for some people and during certain times.

Empathetic people are generally the only ones who yawn when someone else does. The situation has to allow for it, as well. If someone is angry or feeling other negative emotions, they may not be as empathetic as they normally would be.

Another factor that contributes to this is how close you are to someone emotionally. You will be more likely to “catch” a contagious yawn from someone you are close to rather than a stranger.

If you still aren’t convinced that a yawn is contagious, try watching a video of people yawning. Chances are, if you are empathetic, it’ll make you yawn at least once. Then, pay attention to when the people you are close to yawn and see if you yawn, as well.

What to Do if You are Yawning too Much

If you think that you yawn too much, you should pay attention to that. While it may be nothing, there are medical reasons for excessive yawning. These reasons include:

sleep apnea
narcolepsy
side effects of medications
heart failure or bleeding around the heart
a brain tumor (although this is uncommon)
epilepsy
liver failure
multiple sclerosis

Before you panic, however, you should think about your lifestyle. If any aspects of your life could be causing the excess, you should try changing those first. Normally, it’s a common and easy fix, but if the following ideas don’t take care of it, you should see your doctor.

How to Stop Yawning So Much

1 – Practice Deep Breathing Techniques

In a way, this goes back to the idea that a need for oxygen causes a yawn. While that idea has been debunked, it is still commonly believed to be linked to it. Even though oxygen doesn’t seem to play a role, deep breathing still helps.

One study even published results that showed nasal breathing helps decrease how often and frequently you yawn. Many people suggest breathing deeply through your nose when you notice you have been yawning excessively.

2 – Get More Sleep

If you have to yawn to continually stay alert during the day, you probably need to sleep more. It’s easier to be alert when you have had enough rest. Your body won’t need to do this natural reflex to get you to be more alert if you already are.

Try to limit caffeine in the hours before bed, and avoiding alcohol may help, too. You can also set a sleep schedule for yourself, but you have to stick to it to be effective. Getting more exercise and having a comfortable place to sleep will help, too.

3 – Take a Break

If you notice you’re yawning too much, take a break and move around. It will stimulate your brain and help you become focused and alert again.

4 – Cool Down

You will yawn less if you aren’t hot, so make sure to stay cool whenever you can. Drink water or other healthy cold beverages when you are outside on a hot day. Plus, try to keep your indoor environment cool.

Final Thoughts on the Things That Trigger Yawning

Yawning is a natural bodily reflex, but most of the details remain unknown. While scientists and researchers have been working on it for many years, there is still much to learn.

Even so, the information that scientists have given is pretty incredible. They are beginning to understand why we yawn, and it’s been confirmed that it is contagious. With these facts, there will be many more studies to follow in the future.

7 Traits of A Narcissist That Prove They Are (Almost) Impossible to Love

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you know someone that is self-centered and shifts the blame whenever they’re caught in any wrongdoing? The traits of a narcissist are hard to deny, especially when you’ve been around these kinds of people all your life. However, what if you don’t know about these natural-born manipulators?

Is there a way to protect yourself from people who think they do no wrong, and all the blame always lies on your doorstep? Dating is hard enough in today’s society if both parties try their hardest to make things work.

Sadly, things can become really complicated when you add personality disorders and other annoying traits to the mix. A person that suffers from a narcissistic personality has a heightened view of themselves. They don’t show empathy for others as it’s beneath them to care about others more than they care about their needs.

These people will walk on you, damage your pride, and even hurt you deeply to avoid being in trouble. They will blame you for things you didn’t do, and they can turn their wrongdoings around and make it your problem.

It’s tough to please this type of person. While everyone has some toxic traits that they must deal with, living or dating someone with narcissistic characteristics can be psychologically damaging. You may begin to question your sanity as well as your relationship.

Seven Traits a Narcissist Often Exhibits

Sadly, some of the psychological damage that is caused by a manipulator never goes away. It’s tough to date or be in a long-term relationship with this person. Before you get into a mess you can’t get out of, here are seven traits of a narcissist that you should be aware of.

1. They Love to Play Head Games with You

Have you ever heard of the term gaslighting? It’s a relatively new word used to describe someone who uses a situation to make someone doubt their sanity. It’s a classic game that narcissists use that shifts the blame from them to the other person.

For instance, let’s assume that you are suspicious that your lover is having an affair behind your back. You confront him or her and want answers to the evidence that you’ve found. Instead of them admitting or denying it, they turn it around and make it about you.

They can either claim that you’re the one having an affair or that you’re experiencing mental decline and need professional help. These master manipulators have the innate ability to turn the focus off of them by creating drama. The result is you doubting what you saw and thinking perhaps you need to see a doctor.

2. Their Personality Does a 180 Degree Turn

When you met your partner, they probably were attentive and full of nothing but love and admiration for you. However, they can only keep up this ruse for so long. Eventually, their true colors will come shining through.

This behavior is so typical that psychologists call it grooming. They use their wit and charm to groom you, and then they sink their claws into you like a prized possession. Once they have you where they want you, they will start the never-ending cycle of lies.

They commonly use tactics of idealization and devaluation to break you down. When you see the traits of a narcissist in your partner, then you need to run the other way.

3. They Degrade Everything You Do

Since a narcissist has such a lofty opinion of themselves, they will see everything you do as inferior to their methods. For instance, you don’t mop the floors good enough, or the steak wasn’t cooked to perfection. They look down on you, and it starts to weigh on your psyche.

They see you as a person that can’t get anything right, and it’s hard to live and be in a relationship with someone who has such a low opinion of you. If you feel that you must walk on eggshells and tiptoe around them so that you don’t get attacked with verbal abuse, it’s not a healthy relationship.

4. Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter to Them

Remember, no one is as gifted and unique as they are, so that they won’t view your opinions as valuable. It’s not bad enough that they think you can’t do anything right, but what you have to say isn’t necessary either. One of the traits of a narcissist is that they think they know it all.

They may not consult you on major purchases like a car, house, or investments. They feel that they know what they’re doing, and they don’t think that you can add anything to the situation. If you’re in a long-term relationship with this person, it can be hard to have open communication when what you say has no importance to them.

Your opinions and views are essential to everyone who truly loves you. It’s almost impossible to love a narcissist because their master manipulative ways are so damaging.

Narcissists have frequent relationship problems. Here’s how to tell.

5. They’re a Ticking Time Bomb

One thing that is hard to deal with in a narcissist is that they can go from 0-100 in about two seconds. They seem like a bomb that is ready to explode with the slightest jostling. This person’s mood will reach scary heights before you can even realize what has happened.

They may resort to physical violence as well as emotional abuse that you don’t have to take. This self-centered individual will never love you as much as they love themselves, so how can you have a relationship with them?

6. They Have Zero Compassion or Empathy for Others

Let’s assume that one of your parents passed. Rather than being there as a shoulder to cry on during the viewing and funeral, they act like it’s just another day. They go about with their life like they don’t have a care in the world.

The sad thing is that your heart is broken, and you’ve lost a monumental person in your life, but they can’t see past their needs to attend to yours. When confronted about the need for support during this difficult time, they may say things to you like, “Well, they were sick, and you knew they were going to die anyway.”

Don’t expect any support from them as they are incapable of giving anything of the sort. They may shy away from any emotional issues as it can uncover problems they have within themselves. There is no reason to be cruel when life hands you blow, but if you need support, then you should move away from this manipulator.

7. They Crave Control

This person loves to be in control of the situation. When dealing with this personality, part of the disorder is that their low self-esteem needs a boost. They get this boost by being in control. If they feel that they can run the situation, then they can feel at ease.

For instance, it’s the mother-in-law who steps in and tries to help plan the wedding of her daughter to be. The only problem is that she is taking over the entire event and making decisions that are not hers. The bride doesn’t want to cause a stir, so she goes along to keep the peace.

The only issue here is that this person is using her insecurities to manipulate the show. She has no right to take the decisions away from the bride, but she will do what she is allowed as if there are no boundaries.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Seven Traits of a Narcissist

There are many personality types in this world as it would be a boring place if everyone were the same. Being in a relationship should be fun, adventurous, and make you feel warm and fuzzy at night. You want to be with someone who makes you feel like a better person and is not continually tearing you down every chance they get.

It’s often challenging to spot traits of a narcissist initially as they come off as the person with much charm and wit. Sadly, they can only keep up with this ruse for so long before their true nature comes shining through. Ask yourself these questions when having doubts about your relationship:

•Does my opinion matter?

•Does my partner pick me up or tear me down?

•Do they sympathize with me when I am sad or have had a bad day?

•Do they love the way I cook, clean the house, or dress?

•Are they the person that I can see spending the rest of my life with?

•Is our relationship a haven for me when the world is cruel?

•Am I at ease and peaceful when I am with them?

If you can’t answer these questions with “yes,” you need to look for someone who can fill your emotional and physical needs. This person cannot give you the kind of relationship and love that you crave and deserve.

They have a personality disorder that makes it hard to live with them and almost impossible to love. If you see any of the traits of a narcissist in your current relationship, you need to evaluate it seriously.

Dogs Heart Rates Jump When You Say I Love You, Backed by Science

November 1, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

Many dog owners frequently tell their pet that they love them, and science shows that they aren’t crazy for doing so. In fact, a dog’s heart rate jumps when you say ‘I love you’ to them. Even if your dog can’t use words, they’ll respond lovingly, showing that they do understand.

It is no longer a guessing game as to what happens to a dog when they are shown loving attention. A behavioral expert on dogs concluded that a dog’s heart rate increased by 46.2% when they heard the words ‘I love you’. Similarly, dogs experience the same effect in reaction to most other kinds of love, as well.

What love means to a dog is still up in the air, however. There is no way of knowing if a dog’s version of love is the same as ours, but it is pure bliss either way. It is still a nice feeling knowing that you are the reason for your pet’s excitement and happiness.

Dogs have a wide range of emotions, and there is finally scientific evidence to back up some of the theories. Knowing that dogs’ heart rate jump when hearing ‘I love you’ is one step in the right direction. To better understand and learn some signs that your dog’s heart rate has increased, it’s important to know what the researchers determined.

Researchers Explain How and Why Dogs Heart Rate Jump

In a study published by the National Library of Medicine, researchers focused on dogs’ emotional state and how it affects heart rate. The researchers determined that a dog’s heart rate would increase during moments of excitement. This included when they saw their owners and when their owners gave love to their pets.

Using heart rate variability (also known as HRV), researchers compared dogs when they weren’t being social and when they were. Through their research, they determined that this is a valuable way to determine the emotional response of a pet dog. When the heart rate increased, the dog was feeling excited, which is what occurs when a dog is given love.

While that study confirms the emotional response of dogs, another study further explains why this occurs. When a dog is shown love, such as being told “I love you” by their owner, it causes an increase in oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is known to make people and animals feel happier and experience a sense of well-being.

Oxytocin is released when there is a feeling of love, comfort, or socialization. When a dog feels loved, it will have a higher level of oxytocin present, resulting in wanting to spend even more time near you. Continuing the cycle, they’ll become excited anytime you love on them and give them special attention.

The Thing That Doesn’t Make Their Heart Rates Jump

Now that you know why and how their heart rates jump when you say “I love you”, you may be wondering what has the opposite effect. Instead of making a dog excited like saying “I love you” does, cuddling can help lower the heart rate. It helps calm the pet and lowers its pulse, allowing both of you to bask in the comforting cuddles.

How You Can Tell When Your Dog Is Excited and Feeling Love

Contrary to popular belief, wagging their tail isn’t the only way a dog will show that they are excited. Many signs indicate your dog has an increased heart rate resulting from excitement and love. Some of them are extremely surprising, while others you may already know.

1 – They Chew Your Stuff

While you may think your pet is being naughty when they chew your slippers or tennis shoes, this isn’t the case. They aren’t trying to be bad, instead, they are just trying to show how much they love you.

Since your scent is on your item, a dog will feel closer to you if they are near it or on it. Then, to release endorphin and relax, dogs will chew on things. Before you realize it, they’ll be chewing on your slipper trying to relax while picking up your scent.

Keep in mind that this is only the case if your dog is chewing things while you are away from the home. This means that they are missing you. If they are doing it while you are home, however, it could be a sign that they desire more attention.

2 – They Come to You When They are Hurt

When a pet comes to you when they are hurt, it’s a sign of affection and comfort. You may notice they hold their paw out to you when they have hurt it. Or, you may experience a dog laying its head on your lap when they aren’t feeling great.

If a dog wasn’t excited or feeling a sense of love from you, they wouldn’t behave in this way. They would go somewhere alone when they are in pain. So, if your dog comes to you during moments of distress, you should be flattered.

3 – They Give You Licks and Kisses

This is a sure sign that a dog is excited to see you. They love to kiss and lick their owner, and this is one of the best ways they can.

If you wonder how much you are missed, just think about how many kisses you get from your pet when you return. There will be no doubt in your mind that you are their person if you get endless licks and kisses.

4 – They Greet Your Excitedly

Here is where the tail wagging comes into play. When a dog is excited to be near you, they will immediately begin wagging their tail. Plus, they’ll jump around and wiggle all over the place to show their delight.

5 – They Beg

Believe it or not, dogs don’t beg just to be pests. If your pet is begging by pawing at you and giving little barks while you’re holding something, it’s a sign of love. Give them some attention and affection and you may be able to ease some of the begging behaviors.

6 – They Bring You Things

If your dog randomly brings you their toy or a treasure from outside, it’s a gift. Dogs won’t share with those they don’t love and trust, so if your pet does this, it’s a good sign.

7 – They Lie with Their Belly Up

There is no position more vulnerable for dogs than lying with their belly facing up. If your dog will do this with you around, they truly trust you. They know that if you touch their belly, it’ll be for love and not to do them harm.

8 – They are Loyal

Dogs are known to be loyal, so it’s no surprise that when they are loyal, they are feeling love. This is shown in a few ways, including barking at strangers near your home or on your porch. They want to protect you and keep you safe, and this is the way that they know how to do so.

Do Human Hearts React the Same Way to Dogs?

You’re likely wondering if this works both ways. Since dogs are known to cheer their owners up, it’s a good indicator that human heart rates jump when in the presence of their pets. The same studies mentioned before show that a human heart rate increases by around 10% when they see their dog.

Humans must truly treasure their pets because their love goes beyond that 10% heart rate increase. Many people have even said they cancel plans with other people to spend time with their dogs. Now if that is not love, I don’t know what is.

Benefits of Having a Pet

Now that you know the effects dogs have on you, you can enjoy the thought that pets are good for you. It goes beyond an increase in heart rate for you, however, and a desire to spend time with your pet. Pet owners also experience the following benefits:

a decrease in blood pressure
lowered cholesterol levels
decreased triglyceride levels
fewer feelings of loneliness
more exercise and outdoor activity
increased socialization
offers social support to kids
improved behavior for children who own a dog
a greater sense of empathy
decreased anxiety and stress levels

Final Thoughts on Dogs Heart Rates Jump When You Say I Love You, Backed by Science

While you already know that your dog loves you, it is nice to have that thought backed by science. With science proving that dogs’ heart rate jumps, it’s all the more reason to tell them more often. Plus, it will be beneficial to you, as well.

Remember all of the signs that your dog is excited, feeling love, or missing you. When they do things that seem naughty at first, it may just be their way of easing those intense feelings. Oftentimes, these types of behaviors are signs of love from a dog.

Dogs will love you unconditionally and be undeniably loyal to their owner. Remember the effect that showing them love has and continue to let them know they are loved and cared for. The next time someone tells you that you’re crazy for talking to dogs, share these facts and studies with them.

10 Reasons to Open Up Carefully When You Meet Someone

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you open up carefully, or do you meet someone and divulge everything from the time you were born? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could trust the motives of every person you met? In a perfect world, you could meet a new friend, tell them all your darkest secrets, and know that they would be there through thick and thin.

Sadly, many people pay a considerable price when they’re too trusting of others. You may be lured in by good looks, a charming smile, or someone that is gifted in charisma. Some individuals are more trouble than their worth, and there’s no way to know that when you first meet.

While you may have all the right motives, some people only use others because they want something in return. Have you ever heard of someone “sleeping their way to the top?” Using sex appeal and hormones’ power, people will stoop to the lowest level to get what they want.

Thankfully, there are people in this world that will be a true friend. They will stand beside you no matter what life throws your way. It’s hard not to be pessimistic when you meet someone new, but you must protect yourself.

Ten Reasons Why You Should Open Up Carefully When Meeting New People

If you tend to divulge too much too quickly when meeting someone, you need to be careful. Here are ten reasons why you need to open up carefully when entering new relationships.

1. You Don’t Want Everyone Knowing Your Secrets

Let’s assume that you met a lovely lady and shared a night of drinks and laughter. During this period, you felt so comfortable that you started telling her about all the pains of your past. You’ve placed yourself in a very vulnerable position by exposing yourself heart to her.

She can take that information and file it in the back of her mind for future reference or use it to get ahead in life. What if this woman was trying to push you out of your position at the office? Any dirt you give here could be used against you.

Though life doesn’t function like a court of law, keep in mind that anything you say can and will be used against you. When you keep that mindset, then you will monitor what you say. Never tell anyone anything that you are afraid they will repeat. No wonder it’s said that gossip can be as cruel as the grave.

2. Some People Don’t Have Good Motives

While some people may want to be your friends, not everyone has your best interests at heart. What if a person you just met and seems pretty chummy wants to get information for your ex to use against you in court?

If you have any other conflicts going on in life, like a pending child custody case, open up carefully to anyone new. What if this person is a paid agent for the other party? Sadly, you shouldn’t have to think this way in life, but people will use you for revenge.

3. You Could Be Used

Have you ever heard people with money say that they want people to like them, not what they can do for them? Maybe you have money, or you hold a prestigious position. Anyone new in your life might not be there for the right reasons.

You must open up carefully when it’s someone that knows you have authority or clout, and they want to use that to their advantage. They can use words as sweet as honey and pretend to be your best friend. The sad fact is that they are only in the relationship to see what they can get.

4. You Put Yourself in a Vulnerable Position

No one likes to be vulnerable and exposed. Even if a friendship starts on the right foot, what if things go sour later on? Anything you’ve said can be used against you.

What if you told your girlfriend that you once tried a serious drug while in college? You never became hooked on the drug, and you didn’t even like how it made you feel. However, they put their spin on it, and the story becomes worse.

It could go around your place of employment, house of faith, or group of friends, that you have a drug problem. When you tell secrets, they are open to interpretation. Your view of things may not be how someone else views it, and it can end in disaster.

5. A Bad Friend Can Destroy Your Life

Have you ever seen the movie Single White Female starring Bridget Fonda? The psychological thriller has a terrifying premise. The main character in the film has everything going for her in life. She has the perfect boyfriend, a great apartment, and a fantastic career. When her boyfriend cheats on her, she is forced to get a roommate to share expenses. The roommate she picks has a horrible past and has murdered in another state.

She seems like the perfect friend, but in the end, the main character nearly loses her life. While this is a movie and you must suspend reality, the premise is scary enough to consider. The woman was running from her past, and before it all came to an end, she wanted to take over the life of the main character.

Keep in mind that not everyone has your best interests at heart. While murder is a bit extreme, you have to keep your guard up in today’s society.

6. Self-Disclosing Can Push Others Away

What if you have a past that isn’t the best? Nobody is perfect. You could have a divorce, affairs, past drug abuse, bankruptcy, and all sorts of things that you’ve dealt with in life. What could happen if you don’t open up carefully?

Could you scare others away? What would happen to a new friend if they found out your deepest darkest secrets? Would they still want to be friends with you?

No law says you have to open up about your life. You can choose what you divulge to your friends, and some secrets should remain buried.

7. It Takes Time to Build Trust

It takes months or even years to build the kind of relationships that last a lifetime. Don’t be so eager to dive right into a friendship. Whether you’re dating someone new or have a new BFF to hang out with, be careful and allow yourself time to build trust.

8. If You’ve Been Burnt Before, Don’t Rebound Quickly

Have you been hurt in previous relationships? Why do people break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend only to marry six months later? Rebound relationships seldom work.

Your heart and your emotions are all over the place when you’ve lost someone near and dear to you. Since your emotionally vulnerable, it only stands to reason that you are looking to latch onto someone else. When it comes to matters of the heart, don’t rebound too quickly, or it can cause significant problems.

9. You Need an Aura of Mystery About You

Keep a little mystery about yourself when meeting someone new. Don’t start telling them about your parents, siblings, a dog you had growing up, and all your failed love interests. Instead, let some things be left to the imagination.

If you want to make sure that people don’t use you, you must open up carefully. Keep things surface until you’ve had enough time to feel comfortable talking about your life. Some people naturally want to tell you anything and everything about themselves, but no law says you have to do the same.

10. Somethings Should Stay Private

Why is it so hard for some people to realize that some things need to stay private? One of the reasons you open up carefully is that no one needs to know your business. If it’s a romantic relationship, you don’t want to ruminate about everything that went wrong in previous relationships.

If it’s a friendship, then you should be very selective about what you tell them. Intimate details and horrific experiences that don’t add anything to your relationship should be avoided topics. Instead, if you need to discuss past hurts that have harmed you, talk to a therapist.

Final Thoughts on Opening Up Carefully to New People in Your Life

Sadly, you must be careful when meeting new people. Not everyone in your universe is the perfect friend and there to support you. Some individuals will come along your path to use and abuse you for their gain. You don’t have the time or energy for the drama.

When meeting someone new, go very slow in the relationship. Don’t be eager to tell all your secrets and never tell them anything they can use against you. How long should you wait before you start being more intimate in conversation?

Some experts say a year is a reasonable time frame to see if your friendship will last the test of time. If you feel that your relationship is fizzling out or stale, you’ll be glad you didn’t tell them too much. However, if you still feel love and admiration for this person at the one-year mark, you should start opening up carefully to them.

A good friendship is great for your mental health and can be what gets you through life. You need friends to surround you as a support system, so you need to make sure it’s the right ones.

Science Explains What Happens to Your Body if You Use Too Much Essential Oil

November 1, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

Essential oils have become common in homes, on jewelry, and for skin application. With the different scents, all-natural ingredients, and plentiful benefits, there is a good reason they are popular. While they are all-natural and beneficial, there is still such thing as too much essential oil.

Since they are so commonly used and sold in many stores, you may not think they can be unsafe. Using too much of them poses many health risks, however, despite the easy access. They are highly concentrated and should be treated as you would treat medication.

The consequences of using too much essential oil can be life-threatening in extreme cases. Even in minor cases of overexposure to essential oil, you can still be left uncomfortable and in pain.

When used correctly and safely, however, they are highly beneficial. They can be used for depression, anxiety, eczema, insomnia, hair growth, and many other conditions. It is important to know the risks involved, however, to know what to be careful of.

What Happens If You Use Too Much Essential Oil

Scientists have done intensive research on essential oils to determine how they affect the body. It has been determined that, in many cases, when using too much essential oil, the body is negatively impacted. Many of the plants the oil is extracted from are highly toxic, and their oil is highly concentrated.

It is important to understand what can happen if you use too much essential oil. This way, you can plan and use precaution in the future. These things all vary in severity but should all be taken seriously.

1 – Overdosing on Too Much Essential Oil

It may sound crazy that you can overdose on something all-natural, but it is possible. Since the oils are so highly concentrated, being exposed to too much can be extremely harmful.

An essential oil overdose can occur by inhaling or consuming too much or applying too much to your skin. Some of the things that can happen when you overdose on essential oil include the following potential outcomes:

skin rash or burn
headache
nausea or vomiting
gastrointestinal issues
feeling weak
liver malfunction
coma
seizures
hallucinations or other altered mental state

2 – Allergic Reaction

While this isn’t exactly an issue of too much essential oil, it can fall into the same category. Some people may not react when exposed to a small amount, but when too much has been used, it can trigger an allergic reaction.

Try to only introduce one new oil at a time to your household. Then, when a new one is used, watch everyone to see if a reaction occurs. Make sure to watch your pets, too, as they can have allergies, as well.

3 – Photosensitivity

Citrus oils often cause sun sensitivity, so it’s important to avoid exposure before going outside. It can cause severe sunburn with blisters very quickly. You’ll experience pain, swelling, and potentially irreparable skin damage.

If you know you will be outside, try not to handle them at all. These oils include:

Lemon
Lime
Grapefruit
Orange
Bergamot

4 – These Products Might Interfere with Prescribed Medications

Some oils can interfere with essential prescribed medications when used too much or at all. Your best option is to discuss the oils you are using with your doctor. This way, you can determine if the oils may interfere with any of your medications.

If you want to use new essential oil, hold off until you can talk to your doctor. You don’t want to cause any major health issues when combining things that shouldn’t be mixed.

5 – Skin Irritations

Too much essential oil can cause severe skin irritations. Before applying any oil to your skin, you have to be sure to dilute it with a carrier oil. Common carrier oils include jojoba, coconut, and almond oil.

Generally, you should use one teaspoon of carrier oil for every three drops of essential oil. Once it is diluted, test it on a small patch of skin two to three hours before applying it to a larger area. If irritation, itching, or redness develops, don’t apply the mixture to any other body part.

Skin irritations from essential oil can vary in severity, too. Some of them may be mild, while others can cause a serious rash or loss of pigmentation.

6 – Asthma Attacks May Trigger from Too Much Essential Oil

When someone has asthma, too much essential oil can trigger an attack. An asthma attack can also occur if the diffuser is left on for too long, so remember to shut it off after half an hour.

Here are five essential oils that effectively replace toxic cleaning products.

7 – Headaches and Migraines

Exposure to and inhaling too much essential oil can cause headaches or migraines. This often happens if too much was put in the diffuser. Interestingly, some essential oils can ease headaches, instead, however.

8 – Pregnancy Complications and Decreased Milk Supply

Pregnant and nursing moms pay attention to what they eat and drink, but they should also pay attention to the oils they use. Not all oils are safe to use during pregnancy and when you are nursing.

When you are pregnant, the oils can cross the placenta and affect your baby. Essential oils get into your bloodstream and contaminate your milk, causing your baby to consume the oil. The oils that should be avoided include:

Wintergreen
Sage
Mugwort
Tarragon
Birch
Aniseed
Camphor
Hyssop
Parsley
Pennyroyal
Tansy
Thuja
Wormwood essential oil

Nursing moms should also avoid peppermint essential oil. It can drastically decrease your milk supply and be hard to get back.

How Much is Too Much Essential Oil?

Knowing how much essential oil is too much can get confusing because it’s different for each oil. It also depends on if you are diffusing it, applying it topically, or ingesting it. It’s best to keep that information handy, just as you would a dosage chart for a prescription.

Normally, it is safe to assume that a couple of drops of essential oil is enough for a diffuser. This will allow the fragrance into your home and the medicinal benefits to kick in.

Some oils aren’t safe for ingesting at all, so even a little bit can cause a problem. These oils include sage and eucalyptus, which can both cause seizures when consumed.

When an allergy is present, even a little can be too much. As stated before, only introduce one new oil at a time to your household and watch for any allergy symptoms.

If you are applying the oil to your skin, make sure to dilute it first. Then, test the mixture on a small skin area to ensure you don’t react to it.

Special Note on Essential Oils and Children

If you have a child in the home, you should be especially careful. Since their skin is still so thin, essential oils will be absorbed into the bloodstream more quickly. It’s important to keep them away from children at all times.

Store the oils in a place where children can’t reach them. If possible, store them with the medication so you have all the potentially harmful things in one place.

When you diffuse essential oils with a child in the room, consider doing a smaller amount than you normally would. Before diffusing anything, however, check if the oil you are using is safe for children.

How You Can Prevent Using Too Much Essential Oil

Now that you know the risks of overusing these products, it is important to know how to prevent it. Prevention is key when it comes to safety, and you won’t have any negative outcome this way. Some recommendations include these measures:

keep the dosage information for each oil readily available
don’t use the full dosage multiple times a day
use only high-quality essential oils without added chemicals
know the intended use of each oil and use them for only that
discuss which oils you use with your doctor to prevent medication interference
diluting the oils
prevent spills by placing diffusers in a safe spot and closing up oil containers
use carrier oil on your skin if accidental exposure happens. Water can make it worse
don’t run your diffuser all day long
store essential oils in a safe place, away from children
never apply oils on a child’s skin or a pet

Final Thoughts on Science Explains What Happens to Your Body if You Use Too Much Essential Oil

While they are amazing when used correctly, you have to be careful not to use too much essential oil. Using too much can cause serious health problems, cause allergic reactions, and have other negative impacts.

This information is not intended to scare you away from the natural products. It is simply a guide to using them safely and know what can happen if you use too much essential oil.

By following the intended use and dosage guidelines, you’ll be on the right track to using them safely. Remember to keep them in a safe place and avoid leaks or spills from occurring.

Psychology Explains How Manipulators Shift Blame to Make It Look Like Your Fault

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Abuse comes in many different forms, although a few aren’t as apparent as others. If you’ve ever been in a personal or professional relationship with a manipulator, you probably faced mental and emotional abuse. How do manipulators shift blame to others for their personal gain?

Not all manipulative personalities present as cruel, abusive villains. Many seem genuinely caring and may have good social skills. However, they cleverly use their psychologically warped craft to control people to make themselves look better.

If you know people past or present who are manipulative, you may have noticed that most of them are also narcissists. It may not seem evident at first, but their provocative and controlling nature is apparent. Relatives often use their familial ties to justify why you shouldn’t just walk away from them.

Why Do Manipulators Shift Blame?

These people are typically narcissistic personalities, and they care only for themselves and what they can get. If you are unfortunate enough to become entangled in their dark web of manipulation and abuse, it will be more apparent. They will do anything within their power to protect their delusion of perfection.

If you confront them when they are at fault, don’t expect an admission or an apology. Rather than bruise their ego, they will deny any wrongdoing. They will also go to the extent of passing the blame unto you or someone else.

The Manipulator’s Toolbox

People don’t grow up with the goal of being a narcissist and master manipulator. However, these traits are usually seen at a young age. They often model manipulative parents and have years to cultivate their craft.

Even if manipulators must lie or do other unethical things, they will refuse to own up to wrongdoing. They would much rather let someone else take the fall for their trespasses. Here are some typical ways manipulators shift blame to make themselves look better.

1. They Use Drama

Manipulators often work best when they are in a crowd. If they are at fault, they may up the drama factor. They may get overly emotional and say things loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. With this clever ruse, manipulators shift blame to you, so it looks like you are the one who is being abusive.

2. They’re Constantly Digging up Bones

Another way a manipulator shifts blame to others is by bringing up the past when they are caught. Rather than to own up for their faults and failures, manipulators refuse to be anything but blameless.

To get the spotlight off them, they will quickly remind you of your past mistakes. They hope this ploy will move the blame to you. Often, the subject has nothing to do with the present situation. Manipulators are never without a shovel to dig up the past to use against you.

3. They Ignore Facts

It’s fascinating how manipulative personalities can suddenly claim amnesia when confronted with a fault. They want to ignore any facts or situations that point to their role in the wrongdoing. When you mention the issue, these narcissists may refuse to face the facts or act as if you are lying.

4. They Use Religious Exploitation

If you consider some of the most infamous religious cults and abuse cases, you’ll discover a delusional and narcissistic leader as the common denominator. When manipulation and psychological abuse flourishes, the victims will follow their leader no matter what happens.

Even if you aren’t in a cult, you may still be challenged with spiritual abuse. Religious manipulators shift blame to others by suggesting that you aren’t holy enough to “God’s standards.”

When you experience a loss or a difficult situation, these people are quick to blame it on something you did to displease heaven. Don’t fall for this emotional abuse. Religion is supposed to boost people spiritually and enrich their lives, not tear them down. Anyone who uses religion to manipulate others is not someone worth your time.

5. They Like Playing the Martyr

Nobody likes to be at fault, but honest and mature people will confess their wrongs and make amends. However, manipulative people will do anything within their power to push the blame over someone else, so they look innocent. One tactic they often use is to play the victim card.

Do you know someone who would rather play a martyr than to admit to a fault or failure? These narcissists prey on your compassionate nature to gain your pity. They will use a past loss or grievous situation (real or imagined) as an excuse to deflect any blame from themselves.

6. They Love Emotional Manipulation

Narcissistic personalities are skilled actors, and they know exactly what words to say or emotions to display to manipulate those around them. No doubt, you’ve seen manipulators shift the blame on others by turning on the waterworks when they are confronted for doing wrong.

They burst into a torrent of crocodile tears in hopes that you will feel sorry for them instead of making them confess. On the flip side, some manipulators use fear as a tactic to tiptoe around blame. These abusive people will often use rage and intimidation when they are called to task for faults. It’s a standard tool used by those who are physically, verbally, and sexually abusive.

These ten signs unmask an abusive narcissist.

7. They’re the Classic Social Bully

When narcissists are in a room of people, they want to be the ones who are seen and heard. They want all the attention and often dominate the conversation, so nobody else has a say. Should the situation go south, these manipulative personalities become defensive and ready to blame others.

They will often talk louder and over top of the crowd to get their point across. If they are to blame for anything, they use their voice and aggression to change the subject. Substance abuse usually makes their social bullying even worse.

8. They Love Gaslighting

This is a recent psychological term that describes how abusive personalities can manipulate others. They use their skills to make another person feel mentally unstable and to blame for everything wrong in their lives.

For example, you may confront a narcissist for infidelity. Instead of confessing, he may gaslight you into thinking it’s all your imagination and may question your sanity. He might also imply that you are accusing him of cheating to block your guilty conscience because you are the cheater.

9. They Use the Big Switch

Another classic way a manipulator shifts blame to others is to cloud the confrontation with irrelevant topics. If their excuses don’t work, they may try to tear you down with abusive language and verbal attacks on your character. They might degrade how you look, your intelligence, and your trustworthiness.

For example, you may confront him about stealing money out of the family budget for his chronic gambling addiction. Of course, he isn’t going to listen, even if you show him irrefutable evidence. He may lash out and say that the reason he gambles is that you are such a nag that he needs an outlet.

10. They Love Telling Lies

Remember that narcissists are willing to do almost anything to keep their rouge. While they will sometimes distort the facts when they are manipulating you, they aren’t above outright lying to reverse the blame.

This is a particularly harmful tactic because lies can destroy lives, especially when other people believe them. Even manipulative people can’t find a reasonable excuse to blame others for their shortcomings; they may create lies as a distraction.

Strangely, narcissists usually feel justified by lying to others if it means making themselves look good.

11. They Gain Pleasure by Manipulating Those Around You

What can narcissists do when they’ve exhausted every manipulative tool against you to no avail? They will turn to family and friends in your inner circle. If they can’t manipulate you, they will use those around you to cast a shadow of doubt on your character.

They will use one or all the above ploys to place any blame on you and make you look like the villain. At first, they will usually bring one or more people into their confidence. Then, they will use drama, emotional tactics, fake humility, and blatant lies to get those closest to you on their “side.”

Be aware that manipulative narcissists will use any opportunity to make you look bad, especially in a crowd. While you may have realized their abusive tricks, others may not be as psychologically savvy. As they put on a stellar performance of tears and vulnerability, you’ll be the one who looks bad.

Final Thoughts On Manipulators and Blame Shifting

Never allow yourself to become a pawn when manipulators shift blame to you and others. These toxic personalities will never own up to their shortcomings and stop the abuse cycle without professional help.

If you have an unhealthy relationship with a lover, family member, friend, or coworker, now is the time to walk away with your sanity and dignity intact.

Science Reveals The Strongest Women Often Come From A Troubled Childhood

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Why is it that the strongest women often come from a troubled childhood?

It seems ironic that abuse can mold your character, but studies prove that trauma causes changes in the brain that are often irreversible.

Have you or someone you know suffered from an abusive situation in your childhood? You’ve probably heard that emotional abuse is much worse than physical because wounds will heal, but words leave terrible scars.

Though the pain may not be visible to others, it’s a constant reminder of the events you’ve suffered. Abuse affects your brain development, and you cannot process your emotions or stress and the next person. When you’re under chronic stress, your body releases a chemical called cortisol.

Today, we’re looking at some amazing women who overcame adversity and tough early lives. These strong characteristics also apply to men who face similar challenges.

A Troubled Childhood and Mental Health

An overproduction of the stress hormone can affect your learning and memory. The hippocampus is the main area of the brain that controls these vital aspects of your life. It’s no wonder that people who have been through abuse suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

Studies show that it has more devastating effects on the brain when such abuse happens earlier in life. While it’s evident that abuse comes in many forms, there is always an emotional element to all of it. Some people form a mental block and cannot remember, while the events haunt others.

Your body has built-in defense mechanisms to help you cope with the damage. Thankfully, your brain is resilient, and you can recover whatever life has thrown your way. Both women and men worldwide know that you can rebuild and restore a healthy mind and use your experiences to make a difference.

Why You Get Better, Not Bitter?

Psychology shows that when a person has gone through horrific events as a child, they learn survival skills. Sure, these children are defenseless and inferior to their abusers. However, it wasn’t their fault, and they didn’t get what they deserved.

Children often adapt to their environment so that they can survive. They rationalize the abuse and think thoughts like, “Maybe if I am good and don’t make any noise in the house today, dad won’t hurt my mom or me.” Kids who go through abusive situations often grow up quicker than others.

These children often raise their brothers and sisters and take on household responsibilities long before their time. Since they deal with adult issues so early in life, they are uniquely prepared to face things that come at them in adulthood. It’s not easy, but it makes you grow up quicker, and you come out on the other side stronger than you could have ever imagined.

Many people feel weak or damaged because they grew up in a situation where they were made to feel less than other girls their age. With each blow of abuse, they learned that they had the strength inside that they never thought possible. Thankfully, that strength is an edge for you, and it gives you a unique ability to reach your goals and your dreams.

Because of the abuse you experienced in childhood, it gave you a story and a voice. You must use your voice to help others going through similar situations. Then all your suffering won’t be in vain.

Oprah Winfrey Proves Strength Comes from A Troubled Childhood

Consider one of the world’s most influential and richest women, Oprah Winfrey. People from all over the globe have marveled at her success and influence. Yet, few knew the horrific things that young Winfrey had to overcome to get where she is today.

Growing up in a poor area of Kosciusko, Mississippi, her life was already challenged as her parents separated soon after her birth. She was one of three children of a single mother.

Her mother handed her off to several people to care for her, which means a young Oprah was shuttled all over the place with nowhere to put down roots. Winfrey didn’t have good coping skills, and she turned to drugs to help her get through the day.

She details chronic sexual abuse as well as physical violence she endured from relatives. She also recalls being so lonely that the animals were the only ones she saw as friends. Her life changed when she went to live with her father at 12 years of age.

Her father was strict and guided her into college. She graduated and got a job at WJZ-TV in Baltimore, Maryland. She later went on to host one of the most popular syndicated television shows of all time. Today, she is worth an estimated $3 billion.

While money is nice to have, look at all the people she has helped along the way. She had a troubled childhood, but she let it define her and mold her into an upstanding citizen. She’s kind and shows love to others, but she is never a person you could push around.

What Winfrey has inside of her is the same power you have inside of you. Emotional abuse doesn’t have to define you, and you can rise above your troubled childhood. Oprah is just one of several women that have risen to fame amidst significant struggles.

Why Maya Angelou Was an Inspiration to All?

To comprehend the intense emotion behind the statements that Maya Angelou wrote and spoke is impossible for many. In 1969, Angelou wrote an autobiography that bared her heart and soul to the masses.

Angelou suffered horrific abuse that led her down some dark paths. The one person she trusted in life was the one who hurt her at only eight years of age. He was arrested and released from jail after serving only one day.

To get revenge, Angelou’s uncles murdered him. The young girl had such guilt because he lost his life that she became mute for five years. She overcame this difficult time and used her story to help others.

The writings, speeches, and poetry of her childhood and early adult experiences allowed her to win 50 honorary degrees and many awards. Irrespective of the misfortunes she’d faced in life, Angelou stayed impressively positive and productive.

Never Let A Troubled Childhood Define You!

Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey rose above their abuse and made something of themselves because of a drive deep inside them. Do you think they didn’t spend many nights crying themselves to sleep because of the emotional pain from their troubled childhoods? They suffered, but they didn’t lay down and die.

If you’ve been through some events in life that have made your life challenging, you don’t have to suffer, either. You have two choices: you can either be a victim or a victor, and the option is all yours. You can wallow and sorrow in your self-pity, or you can rise above the pain and use your voice to help others.

There are people across the globe going through the same things you went through, and they need to see and hear your story to give them hope. Here are ways you can use your voice to help others.

1. Write a Book

The best way to tell your story is to write a book. Being a self-published author means you can write with little to no financial investment, and you can market your book on digital marketplaces. Let your voice be heard, and let your story touch someone else.

2. Get Involved in a Support Group

Support groups have many functions. When people check themselves into a drug or alcohol rehabilitation center, they are often staffed with people who’ve been through the same thing. It’s comforting to find that you’re not alone. Use your story to help others and receive strength and support from other ladies.

3. Write a Song

Do you have a musical gift? Music is a very healing art form. You can turn the things that happened to you into a song about overcoming. Some of the greatest songs are those that tug at the heartstrings and make you stop and think.

When an artist can relate to their audience, it helps them to heal. Bonnie Raitt wrote the famous song “I Can’t Make You Love Me” after reading a newspaper article about unrequited love. The emotion is so raw in this song that you can feel it. Use music to heal your inside by letting out the pain.

4. Paint

You can tell your story through art. Painting is very therapeutic and healing. Did you know that Marlene Dumas grew up in an area where women and children were inferior and scared for their lives?

Her depiction of those times comes out in her artwork as unsettling images of women and children, which has made her famous. You, too, can use a canvas to release the pain, and it might also make you some money.

Final Thoughts on Troubled Childhoods

Kelly Clarkson wrote a song that stated, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Indeed, the things in your life mold you to be a better person. You can become a woman who looks at adversity as an opportunity from the boardroom to your home life.

The examples of strong women in this article only further prove that your past shapes your future. You make the ultimate decision, but psychology finds that most women who have suffered from a troubled childhood use their turmoil to help others. All you need to do is find your voice.

Psychology Explains Why Some People Hold Grudges (Even If You Did Nothing)

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you hold grudges? Perhaps, someone has a grudge against you, and you’re not sure why. Closed-minded people are often the ones that hold on to resentments, according to psychology. However, there’s no person alive who hasn’t felt ill feelings that festered when they’ve been done wrong.

The real question is, why do people hold grudges even when you’ve done nothing wrong to them? You might wonder what the true definition of a grudge is. These negative feelings occur when someone harbors ill feelings towards another person based on an action or mistreatment.

Some people only hold grudges for a short bit and quickly end their dispute. However, others can keep their resentment going for a lifetime. It gets to the point where you don’t know what you’re even mad over after several years have passed. Holding grudges is one of the top ways that people lose valuable relationships.

Each person is different and has a unique personality. Your temperamental styles and inability to negotiate conflict could be one reason why you are prone to keep grudges with friends or family. Additionally, most individuals learn these habits as adolescents. Many people don’t know how to discuss their emotions when they’ve been wronged appropriately, so they back away from the person who hurt them.

The Five Most Common Reasons People Hold Grudges

Did you know that there are five different reasons why people may keep grudges? It’s not always about being mistreated. Your coping skills and how you deal with your emotions can have a lot to do with holding ill will towards someone else. Here are the most popular reasons for grudges.

1.Unrealistic Expectations

Do you have high expectations for yourself and others? When things don’t go your way, then you will become offended, frustrated, or disappointed. Not everyone is subjective to this type of grudge, but psychology shows you that it’s usually the ones who are emotionally generous who fall into these traps.

A person that tends to be a giver expects an adequate amount of reciprocation in return for their kindness. When that person doesn’t get the thanks or praise they desire, they can become upset to harboring resentment towards the other party.

2. Being Offended/Reaching Your Limit

Have you ever had a person in your life that keeps giving you little digs? They don’t do that one big thing that honks you off. Rather, they keep doing little things that seem to add up to one big upset.

Each person is born with a threshold for how much they can tolerate. Whether your considering dating, marriages, or friendships, there’s always the breaking point. Some might say that once this line has been crossed, there’s no coming back.

A grudge can be a simple statement that “Enough is enough.” You draw a line in the proverbial sand and say that you can’t allow this person to keep abusing you. It’s possible your energy in dealing with this person and their drama has reached a breaking point, and you can’t go on.

While this is not a traditional grudge, it’s the buildup of hurtful feelings and wrongdoings that have led you to cling to feelings of resentment. Thankfully, this is human and often the ending of any bad relationship. The key is to get better, not bitter about the situation.

3. Jealousy

The “Green-eyed monster” can often be a significant problem in any relationship. Many relationships get muddled because resentments become deep-rooted. Sadly, it’s easier for you to be there and be a true friend when you see other people’s suffering.

Some people have a hard time being a good friend when their friends are succeeding. It’s a rather complicated part of grudges because they often resonate with a problem inside that comes from self-esteem. These deep-seated issues are not with your friend but rather with you.

When someone is excelling, and everything they touch turns to gold, it’s easy for jealousy and envy to creep in. Psychologists find this especially true when your life isn’t going as swimmingly as your friends seem to be. Can you believe that good relationships have ended over cars, boats, new homes, and other material things?

Real friendships aren’t based on money or things. To be a friend, you must always show yourself friendly, even when you wish you had the money or possessions that your friend owns.

4. Feeling Left Out

How many times have you felt left out in life? You might think that you’ve been used, someone has exploited you, or you have been flat out ignored. Are you one of those people that have friends that only call or text you when they need something?

If everything is going well in their lives, then you won’t hear a peep from them. What about the feeling you had as a kid when someone passed out invitations to a birthday party, but you sat there empty-handed? There are times in life when everyone feels invisible or that they’ve been passed over.

It’s possible that your friend didn’t mean to leave you out of their big party, but they became preoccupied. Or, they may have thought you were too busy and wouldn’t have the time to come to their get together anyway. The fuel for grudges can start with the smallest of grievances.

5. Disagreements and Assumptions

It’s easy to mistakenly believe that someone has bad intentions towards you, even if that is not true. If you don’t discuss the matter with them, it becomes easy to project negativity onto that person. The problem is that it might not have been their goal, and they may not have even known that they hurt you.

Consequently, when you feel mistreated, a grudge is born, and it may last for an extended period if no one ever opens the doors of communication.

Effectively Dealing with Grudges

Never ignore these fifteen relationship rules

Now that you know the most common reasons why people hold grudges, you need to learn what you can do to combat these issues. Here are five ways that you can handle grievances and deal with closed-minded people.

1. Open the Lines of Communication

The number one reason people have grudges with each other is that they don’t talk about the issue. When you assume things, it makes for a difficult situation. Don’t let a rift stay for days, weeks, or months in a good relationship. Instead, make the first step and talk about what’s really going on.

It may be time to end the relationship and go your separate ways, but at least you can end things on a positive note rather than with hate and malice.

2. Be Quick to Apologize

While you’re communicating with the other person, be quick to apologize for any wrongdoing that you had in the matter. If you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, then you should be man or woman enough to say you’re sorry. Being stubborn and refusing to admit you’re wrong is a whole other issue.

3. Validate Their Feelings

If your friend comes to you and talks about the things you’ve done that have hurt them, you need to listen. Don’t downplay their feelings or ignore what they have to say. Whether you agree or not, you need to validate their feelings and ensure that their voice is heard.

4. Slip into Their Shoes for A Moment

For a moment, you need to switch roles. Put yourself in your friend’s shoes and try to see things from their viewpoint. It’s easy for jealousy to creep in when your friend sees you get a new car and home, and they just lost their job.

Remember, perception is a big part of the problem when it comes to grudges. When you look at things through their eyes, you will see many different versions of the events.

5. Realize It’s Not Worth Losing Someone You Love

Sometimes, you must forgive and forget, no matter how painful the situation. People in this life are not worth losing, no matter how bad they have wronged you. It doesn’t mean you need to call or see them every day, but there are some people that you will forever be engrained into their life and they into yours.

It’s better to make peace, not war, especially when there are other important factors involved.

Final Thoughts on Releasing Grudges

If you’ve done your best to clear the air with your friend, but they insist on holding grudges, then you need to realize you’ve done all you can do. Once you apologize, try to change, and open communication lines, the rest is on them.

You can’t beat yourself up for the rest of your life because your friend has a problem with unforgiveness. Some people are stubborn and will do anything they can to avoid saying “I’m sorry” or to move on. You don’t need to gravel or beg. Move on and live in peace. You owe yourself that much.

10 Things That Cause You to Feel Sluggish (And How to Fix It)

November 1, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you feel sluggish and like you can barely drag yourself out of bed? Did you know that more than 36 percent of the American population complains from feeling tired all the time? There are many reasons you may feel like it’s all you can do to put one foot in front of others.

The good news is that many of the things that cause this sluggish feeling can easily be cured. Here are the most common reasons why you have no energy.

Ten Reasons Why You Feel Sluggish

Here are the ten most common reasons why you have no energy.

1. Stress

Tension related fatigue or emotional exhaustion causes you to feel drained and worn out. It can be a combination of strain in both your personal and professional life. Being stressed-out is a sign that you are experiencing burnout.

If you’re experiencing tension-related fatigue, you may feel like you have no control over your life. It’s not uncommon to feel trapped or stuck in a horrible situation. You may feel a lack of energy, not get adequate sleep, and your motivation will diminish.

When you stay in this stressed-out state, it can cause long term problems with your health. Having long-term strain may make you so overwhelmed and exhausted that you can barely get through a day at work.

The Fix:

The way to combat this tension is to change the environment. If your job is too stressful, then find another one. Even if you make less money, it’s worth the sacrifice to have less on your plate.

If you find that you’re in a situation that you cannot escape, you must learn effective coping skills. Coping skills such as meditation, rhythmic breathing, and exercise can help relieve emotional exhaustion.

2. Sleeplessness

Do you clock watch for hours and hope that you will soon drift off into dreamland? There are many reasons why you might not be able to sleep. However, sleeplessness can be a primary cause of why you feel sluggish the next day.

You could have a sleep disorder that is causing you to have disturbed rest. You may also have issues like sleep apnea that are disrupting your sleep. If you find that the stain from your job and life seems too much, then your angst may be why you can’t rest.

The Fix:

Talk to your doctor about your sleepless nights. A sleep study to observe what’s going on with you may be necessary. During a sleep study, they can see if you have a condition like sleep apnea.

If your mental load causes the problem, then try taking an all-natural herb like melatonin to help you rest.

3. Sluggish Gut Microbiome

Did you know that a significant part of your immune system is in your body’s bacteria, also called your microbiome? One of the most critical factors of your bacteria is it aids in digestion. It sounds crazy but did you know that your gut microbiome helps you maintain your weight too?

You’ve probably heard the term leaky gut as it’s become a common issue. The connection with your brain and gut is becoming more a topic of conversation these days. The fact that your digestive system has the power to influence chemicals in your mind is remarkable.

When your gut microbiome is out of balance, it can cause all sorts of issues in your body. One of the main problems it causes is brain fog and exhaustion. The number one contributor to this issue is high sugar, carbohydrates, and processed foods.

The Fix:

To fix poor gut health, you must start with a healthy diet rich in fruits and vegetables. Additionally, adding an excellent probiotic to the mix can help to balance the gut flora. It’s not a problem that will fix itself overnight, but it can be resolved with healthy living.

4. Auto-Immune Disease

Many autoimmune diseases are commonplace today. The most commonly diagnosed are:

•Lupus

•Rheumatoid Arthritis

•Scleroderma

•Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis

•Grave’s Disease

•Crohn’s Disease

•Multiple Sclerosis

•Polymyalgia Rheumatica

•Psoriasis

•Celiac

•Disease

•Sjögren’s Syndrome

•Vitiligo

•Alopecia

An auto-immune disorder causes the body to attack itself. The symptoms vary from each condition, but a few hallmark signs are common across the board. Being exhausted and having sluggish behavior is often commonplace in many of these conditions.

The Fix:

While there is no cure for any of these conditions, treatment options can minimize the symptoms. As in celiac disease, eating the right foods and avoiding those that cause inflammation can bring relief.

5. Vitamin Deficiency

Vitamin deficiency can specifically cause problems within your body. Vitamin B12 is known for the energy it provides. It’s prevalent for you to become deficient in this vitamin if you have diabetes or don’t eat red meat.

Another vitamin that many people are deficient in these days is vitamin D. Since many people spend most of their lives indoors, the lack of sunshine can be a real problem for a body that needs the vitamins it provides. Vitamin D is also found in dairy foods.

The Fix:

You can take supplements to get both your vitamin D and B12 levels up. You can also achieve this by eating the right foods and getting plenty of sunshine.

6. Poor Diet

One of the reasons you might feel so sluggish is because you’re eating the wrong things. If you are grabbing a burger and fries on the way home from work, you’re causing significant issues inside your body. You were not meant to process all that fat and carbohydrates.

When you’re eating too many convenience foods and the only vegetables you get in a pickle and onions on your burger, you will feel it in your lack of energy.

The Fix:

Stop eating fast food and processed junk that has no nutritional value. You need grains, fruits, and vegetables, as well as sources of protein.

7. Thyroid Issues

Your thyroid is a butterfly gland that’s in your neck. It’s responsible for regulating many of your body’s functions, including your heart. When your thyroid levels are too low or too high, it can cause your system to be out of whack.

A simple blood test can confirm if your thyroid is hyper or hypo and if you need to treat it with supplements. Sometimes, this gland can swell and cause goiter or even cancer. Your thyroid is nothing to mess around with, either.

It can cause you to feel tired, have heat or cold sensitivity issues, and gain or lose too much weight.

The Fix:

If you suspect you have a thyroid problem, or if it’s a genetic issue, have your doctor do some blood tests. A poorly functioning thyroid can be supplemented with a synthetic hormone.

8. Bacterial and Viral Infections

Though most bacterial or viral infections make themselves known, you could have some that lurk inside, causing issues you’re not aware of. One of these infections occurs in your gut, and it’s called helicobacter pylori.

You might never become sick from it, but the bacteria can cause you to develop peptic ulcers. Other infections like a urinary tract infection can also cause you to drag and feel like you’re running on empty.

The Fix:

If you’re having issues with bacteria in your body, like chronic UTIs, you need to take herbal or prescription medications to combat them. Once the infection is cleared, then you will be able to regain your energy.

9. Depression and Anxiety

A chemical imbalance in the brain causes depression and anxiety. One of the hallmarks of depression is that it can make you so tired that doing simple things like taking a shower may seem like a task too great.

The combination of the two can ruin your life. You must recognize that you have a mental health problem and get help.

The Fix:

Talk to your doctor about an ongoing issue with depression and anxiety. Both herbal and prescription treatments can help. Additionally, exercise is known for helping to balance your brain chemicals too.

10. Toting Around Extra Pounds

If you’re overweight, then carrying around all that extra weight can be exhausting. For each pound you gain, your body feels the strain.

It causes your heart and many of your organs to work harder. You will fight problems with diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension.

All it takes is 30 lbs. over your goal weight to make you obese, and many Americans are far beyond that mark. Did you know that just 40 lbs. over your target weight makes you severely obese?

The Fix:

Weight can make you feel exhausted. Losing weight is not always as easy. You need a well-balanced diet and help from a dietician. If you have special dietary needs, it’s better to get a customized eating plan for issues like celiac disease. You should feel an increase in energy when you drop a few pounds.

Final Thoughts on Getting over Feeling Sluggish

By reviewing these ten things that make you feel sluggish, you will see that one common denominator is diet. Even if you have a condition like lupus, eating a plant-based diet can increase your energy, lowering inflammation.

If you’re feeling exhausted and tired all the time, then your daily eating habits are the first place to evaluate. If you’re getting too much sugar and fast food, then it could be the problem. Other issues like insomnia, chronic strain, and mental health problems can also cause you to feel drained.

However, a healthy plant-based diet and making these other healthy changes may prove to increase your energy and keep you from feeling sluggish.

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