Do you know someone that is self-centered and shifts the blame whenever they’re caught in any wrongdoing? The traits of a narcissist are hard to deny, especially when you’ve been around these kinds of people all your life. However, what if you don’t know about these natural-born manipulators?
Is there a way to protect yourself from people who think they do no wrong, and all the blame always lies on your doorstep? Dating is hard enough in today’s society if both parties try their hardest to make things work.
Sadly, things can become really complicated when you add personality disorders and other annoying traits to the mix. A person that suffers from a narcissistic personality has a heightened view of themselves. They don’t show empathy for others as it’s beneath them to care about others more than they care about their needs.
These people will walk on you, damage your pride, and even hurt you deeply to avoid being in trouble. They will blame you for things you didn’t do, and they can turn their wrongdoings around and make it your problem.
It’s tough to please this type of person. While everyone has some toxic traits that they must deal with, living or dating someone with narcissistic characteristics can be psychologically damaging. You may begin to question your sanity as well as your relationship.
Seven Traits a Narcissist Often Exhibits
Sadly, some of the psychological damage that is caused by a manipulator never goes away. It’s tough to date or be in a long-term relationship with this person. Before you get into a mess you can’t get out of, here are seven traits of a narcissist that you should be aware of.
1. They Love to Play Head Games with You
Have you ever heard of the term gaslighting? It’s a relatively new word used to describe someone who uses a situation to make someone doubt their sanity. It’s a classic game that narcissists use that shifts the blame from them to the other person.
For instance, let’s assume that you are suspicious that your lover is having an affair behind your back. You confront him or her and want answers to the evidence that you’ve found. Instead of them admitting or denying it, they turn it around and make it about you.
They can either claim that you’re the one having an affair or that you’re experiencing mental decline and need professional help. These master manipulators have the innate ability to turn the focus off of them by creating drama. The result is you doubting what you saw and thinking perhaps you need to see a doctor.
2. Their Personality Does a 180 Degree Turn
When you met your partner, they probably were attentive and full of nothing but love and admiration for you. However, they can only keep up this ruse for so long. Eventually, their true colors will come shining through.
This behavior is so typical that psychologists call it grooming. They use their wit and charm to groom you, and then they sink their claws into you like a prized possession. Once they have you where they want you, they will start the never-ending cycle of lies.
They commonly use tactics of idealization and devaluation to break you down. When you see the traits of a narcissist in your partner, then you need to run the other way.
3. They Degrade Everything You Do
Since a narcissist has such a lofty opinion of themselves, they will see everything you do as inferior to their methods. For instance, you don’t mop the floors good enough, or the steak wasn’t cooked to perfection. They look down on you, and it starts to weigh on your psyche.
They see you as a person that can’t get anything right, and it’s hard to live and be in a relationship with someone who has such a low opinion of you. If you feel that you must walk on eggshells and tiptoe around them so that you don’t get attacked with verbal abuse, it’s not a healthy relationship.
4. Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter to Them
Remember, no one is as gifted and unique as they are, so that they won’t view your opinions as valuable. It’s not bad enough that they think you can’t do anything right, but what you have to say isn’t necessary either. One of the traits of a narcissist is that they think they know it all.
They may not consult you on major purchases like a car, house, or investments. They feel that they know what they’re doing, and they don’t think that you can add anything to the situation. If you’re in a long-term relationship with this person, it can be hard to have open communication when what you say has no importance to them.
Your opinions and views are essential to everyone who truly loves you. It’s almost impossible to love a narcissist because their master manipulative ways are so damaging.
5. They’re a Ticking Time Bomb
One thing that is hard to deal with in a narcissist is that they can go from 0-100 in about two seconds. They seem like a bomb that is ready to explode with the slightest jostling. This person’s mood will reach scary heights before you can even realize what has happened.
They may resort to physical violence as well as emotional abuse that you don’t have to take. This self-centered individual will never love you as much as they love themselves, so how can you have a relationship with them?
6. They Have Zero Compassion or Empathy for Others
Let’s assume that one of your parents passed. Rather than being there as a shoulder to cry on during the viewing and funeral, they act like it’s just another day. They go about with their life like they don’t have a care in the world.
The sad thing is that your heart is broken, and you’ve lost a monumental person in your life, but they can’t see past their needs to attend to yours. When confronted about the need for support during this difficult time, they may say things to you like, “Well, they were sick, and you knew they were going to die anyway.”
Don’t expect any support from them as they are incapable of giving anything of the sort. They may shy away from any emotional issues as it can uncover problems they have within themselves. There is no reason to be cruel when life hands you blow, but if you need support, then you should move away from this manipulator.
7. They Crave Control
This person loves to be in control of the situation. When dealing with this personality, part of the disorder is that their low self-esteem needs a boost. They get this boost by being in control. If they feel that they can run the situation, then they can feel at ease.
For instance, it’s the mother-in-law who steps in and tries to help plan the wedding of her daughter to be. The only problem is that she is taking over the entire event and making decisions that are not hers. The bride doesn’t want to cause a stir, so she goes along to keep the peace.
The only issue here is that this person is using her insecurities to manipulate the show. She has no right to take the decisions away from the bride, but she will do what she is allowed as if there are no boundaries.
There are many personality types in this world as it would be a boring place if everyone were the same. Being in a relationship should be fun, adventurous, and make you feel warm and fuzzy at night. You want to be with someone who makes you feel like a better person and is not continually tearing you down every chance they get.
It’s often challenging to spot traits of a narcissist initially as they come off as the person with much charm and wit. Sadly, they can only keep up with this ruse for so long before their true nature comes shining through. Ask yourself these questions when having doubts about your relationship:
•Does my opinion matter?
•Does my partner pick me up or tear me down?
•Do they sympathize with me when I am sad or have had a bad day?
•Do they love the way I cook, clean the house, or dress?
•Are they the person that I can see spending the rest of my life with?
•Is our relationship a haven for me when the world is cruel?
•Am I at ease and peaceful when I am with them?
If you can’t answer these questions with “yes,” you need to look for someone who can fill your emotional and physical needs. This person cannot give you the kind of relationship and love that you crave and deserve.
They have a personality disorder that makes it hard to live with them and almost impossible to love. If you see any of the traits of a narcissist in your current relationship, you need to evaluate it seriously.