Success may feel elusive to you. However, it’s probably right at the tip of your fingers. All you must do is reach out and grab it.

“Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. Worst people give you a lesson. Best people give you memories.”

Please read that quote once or twice more. What is the part of that quote that really seems to jump off the page? If you answered ‘all people provide value in your life’, you’re correct.  This quote simply means that your mindset and attitude are the key elements of feeling fulfilled in your experiences and relationships – not material possessions.

You cannot and will not thrive and be fulfilled unless your mind and heart are in balance. Look no further than Hollywood, California for evidence of this. There are more miserable, wealthy people in that city than anywhere else in the world. Why? While they have plenty of money and possessions, they are neither abundant nor fulfilled. They are not truly abundant in their minds and hearts.

Again, thriving is something to be tuned into through our minds and hearts, not acquired through material possessions. As such, you cannot thrive in your life when there are certain negative forces working against you. If you happen to be experiencing any of these forces, don’t blame yourself! We are human beings…complex creatures with complex ways of thinking and feeling. Just make a conscious effort to improve your situation.

Here are 5 things that may be keeping you from Thriving.

1 – A Scarcity Mindset

The mindset of lack is simply operating out of fear, which we all do from time to time. After all, you have responsibilities and obligations to meet and others may depend on you. However, this mindset keeps you from abundance, as it results in making shortsighted decisions to simply “get by.”

According to an article by Psychology Today titled “The Psychology of Scarcity,” Dr. Melanie Greenberg attests that a scarcity mindset shortens and narrows your time frame, resulting in impulsive, short-term decision making that increases difficulties in the long term. An example of this include making excuses for not paying off debt (such as a credit card) while acting impulsively (putting something expensive on that credit card that you refuse to pay off).

Dr. Greenburg recommends 5 ways to overcome a scarcity mindset without becoming complacent – practicing gratitude (being thankful for what you have), not comparing yourself with others (you replace envy with gratitude), stopping obsessive thinking (such as anything wrong you may have done), taking preemptive measures (preparing a budget, buying healthy food to avoid temptation), and not being greedy (helping others leads to more for you).

2 – Feelings of Worthlessness

We are all susceptible to negative thoughts and feelings about ourselves. Perhaps you’ve even experienced a bout with depression or some other psychological trauma. Psychologists routinely associate a depressed mindset with feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.

Feeling worthless, by definition, is the textbook opposite of feeling abundant. You cannot and will not have an abundant mindset if you feel this way. Feelings of worthlessness can take many different forms, mostly in thoughts or feelings of being deficient in success, attractiveness, intelligence, health, or other negative views towards yourself.

Here’s the thing to remember: you are worth an immeasurable amount, especially to the people who love and care about you. This being the case, it is impossible to be worthless…even if you don’t particularly care for yourself at times.

Dr. Aaron Beck, recognized as the father of modern Cognitive Therapy, recommends refusing to buy into your own sense of worthlessness. More specifically, Dr. Beck details three ways in which you can combat these feelings – monitoring your self-critical dialogue, writing these thoughts as they arise (10-15 minutes each day), and learning to “cope instead of mope” by understanding these thoughts without judgment – just observe your thoughts and watch them disappear. Not judging these feelings results in less depressive thoughts, giving you the ability to lead a life of abundance and positivity.

3 – Judging and Blaming Others

Here is a fact: we all have faults. Nobody is perfect. You are not perfect, nor are the people that you are close with. Unfortunately, you also happen to live in a society that often values status and achievement more than morality and righteousness. As such, people that have not attained “prestige” or “success” are often looked down upon. This goes for people who are “unattractive”, “weird”, or any other negative, vague term you can think of to describe someone.

Judging and blaming someone is just another form of negativity disguised to make you feel better about yourself. However, not only do you harm yourself, you accomplish absolutely nothing. Actually, it does “accomplish” something – it breeds more negative feelings towards others and yourself!  Everyone in your life is there for a reason.

By bringing harm to yourself, you keep yourself from thinking abundantly. Whenever you find yourself judging someone, just smile and say hello instead. Odds are, they are good people who will do the same right back. That is a key to success. Now you’re back on track to your fulfilling and abundant life!

4 – Bad Habits

A bad habit can be anything that you currently do that you wished you didn’t – watching too much TV, eating fast food, smoking, drinking alcohol, cursing…you name it. We do these things because they give us immediate gratification. However, you are reading this article because you desire abundance and fulfillment – not the immediate, fleeting satisfaction of a bad habit.

In keeping with the common theme of the other things keeping you from abundance, bad habits weaken you.  Moreover, they hold you back from success. Bad habits actually have much in common with the scarcity mentality – thinking shortsightedly, being impulsive, making excuses, and narrowing your time frame.

Whatever bad habit you may have, don’t judge yourself but instead take some positive action. Adopt some newer, healthier habits that make you truly happy and more in line with the life that you desire for yourself. There are numerous books on establishing good habits, including how good habits lead to an abundant mindset.

5 – Trapped Emotions

There is no credible psychologist or psychiatrist that denies the negative effects of emotional trauma, including trapped emotions that remain in our subconscious. These emotions are harmful because they are inherently difficult to ignore…they continue to affect you, whether you realize it or not.

Obviously, these emotions have a harmful effect on your psyche and make it difficult to lead a life of abundance and fulfillment. The good news is if you do indeed have some kind of unresolved emotional distress or trauma, there are many different ways that you can relieve yourself of this burden unfairly placed upon you.

One practice that is gaining notoriety is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping. While technically considered an alternative and energy-based therapy, EFT is continuing to gain recognition within the science-driven medical community as a potentially effective practice for treating different kinds of emotional trauma.

Serina Deen, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California – San Francisco wrote an interesting article in Huffington Post titled “Tapping Away Trauma: ‘Emotional Freedom’ Techniques,” where she attests to the positive results of EFT testing on herself and her colleagues despite her initial skepticism.

The Study That Proves the Connection Between Success and Mindset

Also, in an academic study conducted by Ph.D-educated clinical psychologists titled “Neurophysiological Indicators of EFT Treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress,” patients who experienced PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder) as a result of a severe motor vehicle accident reported improvement immediately following EFT treatment. Scientists administered several neurological tests both pre- and post-treatment. And the outcome signified marked improvement in brain function.

We’ve discussed a few different things that keep you from a mindset of abundance and fulfillment. Our hope is that you recognize the greatness that lies within and put some of these things that may apply to you into practice. After all, you deserve to live a life of abundance and fulfillment. Don’t let anything – even yourself – get in the way of what you aspire to become!

Remember that you control your own odds of success!

Do you feel really and truly stuck?

Life has a tendency to throw us all curveballs from time to time. It may arrive in the form of work, finances, relationships, health, or another area. Indeed, we will all experience difficulties that attempt to derail us from living the lives we desire. The important thing to remember is that it is in how you approach these difficulties that determines the ultimate outcome and the lessons learned.

“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which all difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.” – John Quincy Adams

Here are 11 things to remember when you find yourself stuck in an undesirable situation:

1. Maintain focus

When you find yourself suddenly knocked out of your comfort zone, it can be easy to become distracted and forget your true purpose. Do your best to not let that happen. When difficult circumstances arise, keep your mind keenly fixed on your goals and on accomplishing what you desire in your life. Audibly reaffirm your vision and allow it to continue on its course to you. Remaining focused while disregarding internal or external distractions that arise as you move towards your purpose is very important, and can either lead you to, or away from the goals you desire.

2. Be accountable for your happiness

Relying on others for your happiness or blaming others for the lack thereof will never be a fruitful practice. Understand that your strength stems from your ability to take responsibility for your own happiness. While we all benefit from the good will of others from time to time, only you can make the decision and take the actions necessary to be truly happy and content with your life.

3. Forgive yourself

We are all fallible human beings who face our own unique set of difficulties and adverse situations. Everyone makes mistakes along the way. Some have even made serious mistakes, and find it hard to forgive themselves and move on. When you hold back from forgiving, you hold yourself back from becoming the person you envision. No matter the gravity or the number of your mistakes, you must always make a conscious decision to forgive yourself. (Read 5 reasons why forgiveness is a gift you truly give yourself)

4. Be true to yourself

Another aspect of being human is that most of us want the respect and affection of others. As a result, most of us worry far too much about what others think and don’t think. The fact is we are all different, with our own unique personalities and minds. Some of us are quiet and studious, others are outgoing and gregarious. Some of us love the company of people; others want to just be alone. The point is that we will never please everyone nor should we attempt to. Be true to yourself and the way you live your life.

“Be the best version of you.  There are far too many people out there trying to copy the best of others. Your true excellence is found in your own unique gifts.”
-Kristen Butler

5. Pursue your passions

Most people have something they truly love to do, yet many others are spending our working lives doing something we don’t. According to a Gallup’s 2013 State of the American Workplace study, 70% of Americans describe themselves as “disengaged” from their work. In other words, they dread their jobs. It’s not easy to switch career paths and pursue your dreams, especially if others rely on you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

If you have a calling to do something that makes you happy, then pursue your passion. If nothing else, spend your free time doing the things you love.

6. Avoid negativity

Take a close look at your family, friends, and acquaintances – are there people in your inner circle that exude negativity? At work, are there co-workers who constantly complain and make your time at work more difficult? If so, these are the very same people that could be negatively affecting your mindset. While you can (and should) be compassionate and positive towards them, you do not have to subject yourself to their negativity by remaining in their presence.

If necessary, have a short, respectful conversation with them and voice your concerns. (Read how to deal with negative people)

7. Remain grateful

Despite your difficult circumstances, odds are there is plenty to be grateful for – food, a job, a roof over your head, or a loving family. Remember, there are plenty of people in the world that are living much more difficult lives than we can imagine yet still remain grateful. Think of the things that you do have and not just the things you don’t.

Make it a practice to spend some time each day to contemplate the good in your life.  A great idea is to start a ‘Like List’! (Click here to take the Like-List Challenge)

8. Remember that yesterday is just that

It’s impossible to have a good day today if you are still thinking and worrying about yesterday. Whatever you encountered or experienced yesterday doesn’t matter…it’s a new day. The beautiful thing about life is that we don’t know what’s coming next, and it could be something wonderful. If not, hey there’s always tomorrow!

9. Be present

To be present simply means accepting situations as they arise while maintaining your self-control. If you look closely at all of the problems facing your life, you will notice that many of the problems originate within your own mind. While there are certainly external factors – a hectic job, a full schedule, problems at home, and other difficulties – it is how our mind deals with these external forces that often causes the problem.

Handle the present moment as it comes, good or bad, without thinking about the past or the future. Whatever you are doing, whether it’s at work or at home, do only that one thing and don’t worry about what’s coming next.

10. Enjoy yourself

Remember to enjoy your life and to soak in each joyful moment. Life is too short to worry about difficulties, distractions, and what “may” happen to you. Whatever brings you joy – your family, friends, recreation, exercise, or something else– do those things. When you are at work, be at work. When you are on your time, do the things that you most enjoy.

11. Remember your strength

When we feel stuck, we have a tendency to feel weakened. Remember that you are far stronger than you often give yourself credit for. Sometimes, being stuck can further build on the inner strength that you already possess. Some of history’s greatest achievements were accomplished by individuals who felt stuck or limited in some respect. What made the difference was their mindset and the ability to persevere through the difficult times…you are no different. Remember the great strength that you already possess and anything will seem possible.

We hope this helps you on your journey to being dislodged from your stuck situation.  Feel free to add your own tips in the discussion below!

Do you need a boost of self-confidence? If so, consider finding a mantra.

Mantras are a concept that many people are aware of and generally understand.  They generally consist of a phrase, set of words or sounds that you repeat in order to guide your life and essentially re-wire your mind in a different direction or thought pattern.  We all have mantras that we repeat regularly whether we know it or not.

In the last few of months, I got really tired of the mantras that had been running through my head.  They hadn’t been intentionally cultivated and they were starting to really drag me down.  I was consumed by thoughts that trapped me in my insecurities. Worse, they slowly wore down my confidence.  Negative thoughts had consumed me and it was time for a change.

Mantras helped me make that change.  I adopted these three mantras over the past two months. Already, they helped me to get back on track to where I wanted my headspace to be.  These are my mantras. I hope they help you with your self-confidence as much as they’ve helped me:

3 Mantras to Help You Regain Self-Confidence:

1 – “My time is too valuable to waste it worrying about the things I have no control over.”

This mantra came about because, obviously, because I was having obsessive thoughts about things I had no control over.  Worrying about these things wasn’t going to change the outcome.  All it was doing was robbing me of my sanity and peace of mind in the moment.  As soon as I decided that my time was valuable and needed to be respected and used in a more productive way, my thoughts changed and this mantra came into my mind.

Every time I started stressing out, worrying and thinking about scenarios that I had no control over, I would repeat this mantra and almost instantly my peace of mind would start to creep back in and I was able to once again enjoy life and regain self-confidence.

2 – “The outer is always a reflection of the inner.”

This is a great Buddhist philosophy and the more I welcome it into my life, the more apparent its truth becomes to me. Whatever is going on around you, whatever you are feeling, whichever situations are angering you or pleasing you, is a reflection of what is going on inside of you.  It is not a reflection of the innate state or meaning of that situation.  Futhermore, it is a reflection of you.  So, if you are feeling neglected by a friend or a lover, you are probably neglecting yourself.  If you are feeling loved by life and the things in your life, you are probably being loving yourself.

Nothing has a particular meaning to you until you decide it does.  You could be lacking money and choose to feel sorry for yourself or choose to be grateful for the fact that you are alive and have abundance in other forms.  It is not situations that dictate how you feel. It is YOU who dictates how you feel.  Every time a situation in my life starts to feel crappy to me, every time I start arguing with someone or feeling rejected by something, I try to remember this and instead of reacting to the situation, I try to explore what it is inside of me that is causing the bad feelings.

After I have done this, I can usually come to a place where I can respond in a way that is productive instead of creating more conflict in my life.  It is an incredibly beautiful and empowering thing.

3 – “I take nothing personally.”

I would bet that you, like most of us, take a lot of what other people do to you personally.  I found that a lot of my peace of mind and confidence was robbed by the fact that I thought other people’s feelings towards me reflected my own inadequacies.  But then something occurred to me: No one on this earth can see further than their own mind.  Everything anyone else is doing or feeling in relation to you, whether that means someone is offended by you, rude to you or loving to you, is a reflection of how they are feeling on the inside. In fact, they are not saying something about you.

No matter how perfect you are or how great of a person you are choosing to be, someone is always going to have something crappy to say about you.  Now does that mean that you should fully disregard the opinions of every other person on this planet? No. But it does mean that you can understand that most things in life are just that-opinions.  They are not right or wrong.

Don’t Ruin Your Own Self-Confidence

They are just a reflection of where someone is at in their life and that doesn’t have to define you in any way. You define you. No one else. So, don’t rob yourself of that self-confidence you deserve.

There’s a lot of pressure. We emphasize succeeding in our society. We want to do well in our career, have happy relationships, be a great parent, keep a tidy home, excel in our hobbies, and still find time to relax and just be. Keeping all these aspects of life in perfect balance can be rather demanding, and when we have too much demand we can tend to be harder on ourselves – especially if our progress is slower than we expect.

The power of positivity can always strongly influence your every day life, starting with your thoughts. When you are feeling down, like you aren’t succeeding in life, here are 10 reasons why you are! Remind yourself of the list as often as you need. You can never have too much inspiration.

10 Reasons You ARE Succeeding in Life:

1. You keep going, even after the challenges.

It can be easy to say, “I could never make it through this.”

The reality of life is that difficult moments happen to all of us.  Success does not mean that there’s a void of these trying times, it just means that you’ve decided to forge through them with resolve.  Every time you’ve stood back up and brushed yourself off as best as you could, you realized that it wasn’t long before the struggle was behind you and you were back on course.  It’s ok to stumble as you continue to make small steps toward success.

Keep this mentality moving forward and remember your resilience – you can bounce back again and again!

2. You grow stronger on the inside.

Experiences may not have always had the most positive result, but whether you realized it or not,  every one of these has increased your inner strength.  You’ve grown into who you are so that you could take today’s challenges head on.  As a stronger, wiser person, you can begin to see every outcome as an opportunity.  You see your experience as a teacher and know that with all lessons in life, there is always a takeaway.  Sometimes it’s victory and sometimes it’s strength – but your inner strength always continues to grow from these lessons.

3. You decide to love others.

Choosing love is the first step to success in any situation and an ability you always have on hand.  As you close the gate on hate, you begin to see the opportunities that love brings into view and how much easier it is to find success in the present moment.

As you choose to allow more love for yourself and others, more positive energy surrounds your experience, continuing to lift you higher and higher.

4. You recognize your accomplishments.

Feeling down because you are not where you expect to be is common, and it keeps us striving to do better, but you know it’s not a place you want to get stuck.

When the feeling sets in that you’re falling short of the goal, you remember the previous accomplishments you’ve had so far. You switch your focus from the lack by reminding yourself about all of the good things you have done and are doing right now. Celebrating and paying attention to previous success (in even the small things) helps maintain a better positive mental attitude.

This is a great exercise to practice especially before bed (instead of worrying). You’ll find you fall asleep easier and it’s a habit that leads to more success.  The dominant thoughts you have before bed replay in your mind at night, and since your thoughts help create your future, it’s important to have positive ones.

5. You follow your own path as much as you can.

Intuition guides us all through our path in life.  Recognizing your individual calling and making the decision to stray from the herd and blaze your own trail is what makes big differences in your own outcome. In fact, it’s vital in succeeding.

If you feel like you’re being singled out, remember that the path to your best life is unique, and continuing on it, regardless of what the “normal” route to success may be, is just as good as anyone else’s.  Richard Branson is a perfect example of this.  His path has been anything BUT normal, but his success is apparent.

6. You work on overcoming fears.

Overcoming fears doesn’t always come as easy as some people make it sound, and you’re aware of the fact.  But once again, you see the importance of progress over perfection.  If swimming isn’t your thing, dipping your toes in the water as a first step is every bit as important as going at it alone in the open ocean.  Future daredevils don’t jump the Grand Canyon in their very first practice, and you understand that you’re not failing at releasing the fear if it’s not completely gone on the first attempt.

Keep taking your small steps and know that with each one, you’re closer than you were yesterday.

7. You respect yourself.

There are more than a few unsavory ways to find money, fame or success.  When you respect yourself and your values, you see that your path to success can still come just as easily.  As you remain “in alignment” with what feels good to you, a clear conscience becomes even more valuable than the superficial reward of turning a blind eye to your own self-respect.

8. You are learning to love yourself more.

We talk often about the importance of loving yourself. We aren’t talking about egotistical, selfish “love”. We’re talking about real, true healthy love for who you are and the unique gifts you bring to the world.  The essence of your being is amazing. And, it’s an important part of succeeding.

When you get to know that person you should embrace it and enjoy it. Let go of the tiny, pesky imperfect traits that bother you and hug yourself for the magnificence that you possess inside. Love it so much that you aren’t afraid to show it to the world. You WANT to be yourself no matter who you are around. In fact, being yourself attracts more people to you. People are naturally attracted to loving, happy, genuine people.

9. You release judgement.

Letting go of the urge to judge isn’t something that comes easy for everyone, but you know that passing judgment onto another is not going to get you any further than where you were.  There is a great freedom that comes in “minding your business”, and you can decide to take full advantage of the moment to be your best self, not someone else’s.

10. You remain grateful

The difference-maker in your life comes from the daily gratitude reminders you give yourself.  Whether it’s one, three, or a hundred reasons to be grateful, you see what you do have rather than what you don’t.  An optimistic outlook not only turns your perspective around, it’s what ultimately helps change your life.

Final Thoughts on Measuring When You Are Succeeding

Write at least three things you’re grateful for in a notebook each morning.  Review at the end of each month and you’ll quickly see how the things you are grateful for have grown.

Next time you’re feeling hard on yourself, remember to revisit this list as often as you need – you can never have too many resources (even when you’re already succeeding!)

How aware are you of the thoughts, feelings, and sensations inside your body? Do you ever truly focus on every sensation you experience? If so then you are probably a believer in mindfulness. Mindfulness is a very important concept in Buddhism and it focuses on the concept that by being in the moment and being aware of every thought and feeling your body experiences you can enhance your physical and mental well being.

Here are six ways you can become more mindful:

1 – Rise and Shine

Being mindful can start from the minute you wake up every morning. Before you jump out of bed to get on with your day take some time to focus on the environment you are waking up in and the sensations of the world around you. If you start your day in a mindful day then you will start it calm and relaxed, and you will find your days are calmer and happier.

2 – Enjoy Your Food 

Many people are so time poor that they wolf down their food, and a vast percentage of the population even eat their lunch at their desk whilst continuing with their work at the same time. Instead to eat more mindfully, eating should be the only thing you focus on. Taste your food, savor every mouthful, and experience the flavors and textures you may never have experienced before.

3 – Stop Multitasking

We live in a society where people value multitasking and the ability to do more than one thing at the same time is highly praised. However multitasking doesn’t make you more productive: if anything it can slow you down and cause unnecessary stress and pressure. Use mindfulness to focus wholly on just one task at a time and you’ll find yourself feeling calmer and happier, and less prone to rushing or making mistakes.

4 – Take a Walk

In our rushed and modern society we are used to always being busy. However one of the best ways to be mindful and focus on yourself is to simply take time out. Take a walk and and think about how that meditative exercise makes you feel. Focus on your breathing and on how your body feels as you move it. Even a walk to the grocery store or round the block can become mindful walking if you focus your mind as you do it.

5 – Let it Ring

When your phone rings don’t rush mindlessly to answer it. Instead take a second or two to focus on your breathing and gather your thoughts before you answer. Focus on the effect the ringing phone has on your body (it causes many people to become more tense, for example) and breath deeply before you mindfully take your call.

6 – Capture The Scene

Finally, if you really want to be as mindful as possible in your everyday life then try your hand at mindful photography: no camera required! Take mental photographs of everything you find interesting and everything you’d like to remember as you do around your everyday life. Think about what details you’d like to capture and take the time to focus on them to commit them to memory.

 

Happiness can be relative to the health of our chakras. Here’s a popular explanation by our friend Doe Zantamata from Happiness in Your Life.

7 Steps to Happiness

The colors of the above image represent the colors of the chakras, the energy centers of the human body. They correspond to our glands, to CHI life energy, and to our lymphatic system.

The meaning behind each color. . .

Think Less, Feel More

White is the Crown Chakra, which is our connection to God and The Universe. This is especially helpful when everything around us seems wrong. We can still know inside that things will get better. This is why I made it, “Think Less, Feel More.” As long as we can go within, pray, meditate, we can still feel joy and connection, even when nothing else around us in the physical world seems to support it.

Frown Less, Smile More

Purple is the Third Eye Chakra, which is similar to the crown except it’s a connection to others. It’s the place of intuition. I have it as “Frown Less, Smile More,” because if we are smiling, the world smiles back. If we think positively, we’ll be open to more positivity around us. One of the Laws of Karma says that if we believe something is true, the Universe will have no choice but to keep showing us that truth. That’s why it’s so important to keep smiling!

Talk Less, Listen More

Blue is the Throat Chakra, which is communication. Communication isn’t just talking. If you train yourself to listen, really listen, you will be able to communicate much better, which is why I made that one “Talk Less, Listen More.”

Judge Less, Accept More

Green is the heart, which is unconditional love to self and others, which is why it’s “Judge Less, Accept More”…you cannot love if you are judging, and you can accept when you love.

Watch Less, Do More

Yellow is the Solar Plexus chakra, which is one of action. Whenever you get nervous and you get that tightening in the chest below the ribs, that’s the solar plexus. In society today, we often watch..watch movies, watch tv, watch sports. We get in the habit of watching but not doing as much. Then this habit can also lead to a less “action” motivated response in us, so when we really want something or really don’t want something, we risk becoming more prone to just dealing with it and not taking the action(s) to change it. So this is “Watch Less, Do More.”

Complain Less, Appreciate More

Orange is the Sacral Chakra, which is the one of relationships. Just imagine how much better our relationships would be if we all thought daily to “Complain Less, Appreciate More?” 🙂

Fear Less, Love More

Red is the Root Chakra, which is the survival center. When we build our life on fears, we will have more and more fears. When we build our life on love, we will have more and more love…and ultimately, happiness. This is why it is “Fear Less, Love More.”

This image is also available as an inspiration refrigerator magnet for a daily reminder.