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11 Signs A Man Respects You In A Relationship

May 19, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Do you know how to tell if someone respects you in a love relationship? Respect is the profound admiration for someone, their abilities, qualities, or accomplishments.

People with “good, valuable, or important” qualities are another way of describing respect. Respecting someone’s humanity is perhaps the best kind of respect we can give (and receive.) How much more should we respect someone who has given us their heart?

Regarding respect and relationships, having one without the other isn’t possible. The two qualities are mutually inclusive in every healthy relationship.

NOTE: We acknowledge that women display respect in slightly different ways than men. Thus, we address signs a woman respects her relationship in a separate companion article.

Five Reasons Why It Is Essential That Your Man Respects Your Relationship

Respectfulness is a crucial element for building and maintaining a healthy love relationship. It is the foundation of any meaningful relationship and serves as a guiding principle in how partners treat and interact. In a healthy love relationship, respect is essential for fostering trust, communication, and a sense of safety and security.

Trusting your partner

First and foremost, respect is essential for fostering trust in a relationship. Trust is built on mutual respect and honesty. Without it, the relationship is likely to crumble. When partners show respect towards each other, they create a safe space where they can be vulnerable and share their innermost thoughts and feelings. This trust is essential for building a deep emotional connection and for overcoming obstacles that may arise in the relationship.

Better communication to keep the relationship strong

Communication is also essential in a healthy love relationship, and respect plays a significant role in creating effective communication between partners. Respectful communication involves actively listening to each other, understanding each other’s perspectives, and valuing each other’s input. In a relationship where respect is present, partners feel heard and valued, leading to deeper conversations and a stronger emotional bond.

Feeling a sense of security

Respect is essential for creating a sense of safety and security in a relationship. When partners respect each other, they create an environment where each person feels comfortable being themselves without fear of judgment or criticism. This environment allows partners to be vulnerable with each other and fosters a sense of emotional security in the relationship. In contrast, a relationship lacking in respect can create an atmosphere of tension and uncertainty, leading to feelings of insecurity and doubt.

Relationship equality builds both partners

Another way in which respectfulness is necessary for a healthy love relationship is by promoting fairness and equality between partners. When partners show respect towards each other, they treat each other fairly and as equals, valuing each other’s opinions, needs, and desires. In contrast, a relationship lacking in respect can create an imbalance of power, leading to one partner dominating or controlling the other. Such an imbalance can lead to resentment and tension, ultimately damaging the relationship.

Fairer fights

Respectfulness also helps partners navigate those inevitable conflicts healthily and productively. In a respectful relationship, partners work together to find solutions to conflicts, using open and honest communication to address their issues. They do not resort to name-calling, blaming, or personal attacks, and instead, focus on finding common ground and working towards a solution that benefits both partners. This approach to conflict resolution promotes a sense of teamwork and strengthens the emotional bond between partners.

11 Signs A Man Respects You In A Relationship

In this article, we list and discuss 11 signs that the man you’re in a relationship with respects you. Let’s get started!

Respect is not an option in a relationship. It is a requirement.” ~ Anon.

1. He is encouraging

A man who loves and respects you wants what you want. He desires his woman to be the best possible version of herself, something that not only makes you feel good but him as well. He may have an opinion on the matter, but he won’t dissuade you from taking any positive step in your life.

2. He respects your time and how you spend it

Another sign of a healthy relationship is regard for each other’s time – whether spent together or apart. Concerning the former, a respectful man is reliable regarding your (and others’) time. He is rarely late; when he is, he has a good explanation. When you need some time, for whatever reason, he is considerate and respectful.

(Note: spending over an hour in the bathroom may be an exception to this rule.)

3. He doesn’t get jealous

He’s devoted himself to you and is confident in your devotion to him. As such, a man who respects you doesn’t get jealous. This quality also speaks to the man’s self-confidence – something (sadly) that is absent in too many. Comment on Brad Pitt’s abs all you want, ladies!

4. He doesn’t try to control you

Controlling behavior reeks of insecurity and, of course, disrespect. As mentioned, thoughtful men are neither of these things. A respectful man who loves you wouldn’t even contemplate taking any action that could be considered controlling. Enough said.

5. Your opinions are taken seriously

Opinions are a matter of individual perspective and should always be respected. A respectful man actively listens and responds to your opinion. Moreover, the man is interested in what you have to say, regardless of whether he agrees or disagrees.

Speaking of which…

6. He doesn’t escalate disagreements

At the risk of sounding overtly obvious, every relationship has disagreements and arguments. One sign of a real man is respectful behavior – and he’s never inclined to intensify any disagreement or argument. He appreciates and respects the differences just as he does the similarities. Aside from demonstrating his respect, the ability to “agree to disagree” shows his strength and character.

7. He’s an “Honest Abe”

It can be difficult to discern whether or not someone is completely honest with you. However, a man who deeply respects his woman considers dishonest behavior abhorrent. If he says or does something he perceives as inaccurate, he’ll say so.

8. He doesn’t second-guess you

A healthy relationship requires two people to commit themselves entirely – to be selfless. A man who respects you (and vice-versa) will not ignorantly cast doubt upon your choices or judgment. He understands that you possess an admirable ability to think for yourself; otherwise, he wouldn’t be with or respect you to such a high degree.

9. He’ll discuss the relationship’s future

Some men have the impulse to evade discussing “the future.” Perhaps they’re not quite prepared for topics that you may bring up, which may scare them. But a man who respects you will actively listen to your perspective on the future and provide honest feedback, even if it’s not quite what you seek. If he’s ready for the next step, he’ll tell you. If he’s not ready, he’ll still tell you.

10. He spends a good amount of time with you

A man who respects you willingly allocates a generous amount of time to make sure you’re happy. If you enjoy certain activities, he knows and will go out of his way to make them happen. Even if he’s busy, a respectful man will sacrifice time he could spend elsewhere – at work, hanging out with friends, etc. – for you to know that you’re a priority.

11. He respects others

“Others” may be your family, social circle, or a stranger. The respect a man shows to others is equally as important to the respect he shows you. For those in the early phases of a relationship, observing how your man treats others is one of the best indications of his real character.

Final Thoughts on Signs Your Man Respects Your Relationship

Respectfulness is a necessary ingredient for building and maintaining a healthy love relationship. It promotes trust, effective communication, emotional security, fairness and equality, and productive conflict resolution. Without respect, a relationship will quickly fill with tension, resentment, and an imbalance of power. Therefore, partners must practice respect towards each other and make it a guiding principle in their relationship.

Why Crying During Movies Actually Means You’re Mentally Tough

May 19, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Social scientists know that we tend to have a prejudice against those who cry during movies. Our tendency is to see people who cry as being emotionally weak.

Rarely is crying during movies interpreted as being mentally tough. But if we can set our negative stereotypes aside, we can see how emotional outpourings like crying can help us socially. In fact, it helps connect to others by helping them see how well we relate to their emotions.

Why Crying During Movies Actually Means You’re Mentally Tough

Crying during movies means you have the skills of an empath. Empathy is a skill that allows you to understand how someone else must be feeling based on what you either know about the situation they are experiencing or by their observable behavior.

The character Commander Deanna Troi on the TV series Star Trek: Next Generation is the best popular culture reference to understand what an empathetic or empathic person is like.

Crying during movies means you possess the ability to relate to the emotional state that another person is experiencing based on their situation and facial expressions.

Although you know that this pain belongs to someone else, for example an actor in a movie, you know what it feels like to hurt, grieve, yearn, or rejoice and you can relate to a fellow human being who is showing the same emotion.

Empaths have to be mentally tough because emotional outpourings can drain physical energy. Connection like this to fellow people on the planet is an important social skill that is often overlooked or undervalued. The ability to relate in important ways will help you be successful with your education, career, and romantic partnerships.

Crying during movies connects to emotional intelligence, extroversion, and self-esteem

Researchers studying crying during movies found that several personality traits were found to be associated with crying and sadness. These include empathy, extroversion, femininity, self-esteem, and prior stress levels.

Women who cried during a movie also reported being sad to the researchers afterward. Conversely, men who cried reported no emotional connection to the film.

Mentally tough people usually take the leadership role in social interactions. And that seems to conflict with the image of someone who cries at movies. However, being extroverted was one of the surprising personality trait results of the above experiment.

The researchers found that these personality traits were associated with crying during movies and ego strength or self-esteem levels, which is the mental toughness in knowing oneself to be worthy of respect.

You might say that people who cry during movies have an advantage over others. Picking up on emotional cues based on tone, facial expressions, body language, micro-expressions, and your gut instinct helps you to identify if the people you interact with are pleased or displeased.

Here’s how these observed responses connect to emotions:

Understanding Tone

The tone of voice is crucial to communication, revealing emotions and attitudes that may not be explicitly stated. It encompasses pitch, volume, and pace. Indeed, it can indicate feelings like anger, happiness, or uncertainty. For instance, a raised voice might signify anger or excitement, while a monotonous tone could suggest boredom or disinterest. By attentively listening to the tone, you can gauge the emotional state and intent of the speaker, which aids in better understanding their perspective.

Interpreting Facial Expressions

Facial expressions are powerful indicators of someone’s emotional state. Through facial cues, humans instinctively recognize emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, and surprise. A smile, for example, generally indicates happiness or approval, while a frown usually signifies displeasure or concern. Learning to interpret these expressions accurately can provide valuable insight into how someone is feeling, even if they don’t verbalize it.

Reading Body Language

Body language is a non-verbal communication that includes gestures, posture, and movements. Open body language, like uncrossed arms, can indicate receptiveness and comfort, while closed body language, such as crossed arms or avoiding eye contact, might suggest defensiveness or discomfort. Observing body language in conjunction with other cues can better understand someone’s emotional state.

Analyzing Micro-Expressions

Microexpressions are brief, involuntary facial expressions that reveal genuine emotions. They are often difficult to catch and interpret, as they occur fleetingly. These expressions can be crucial in detecting hidden feelings or lies. For example, a quick flash of contempt on someone’s face might go unnoticed in a casual interaction but can indicate underlying negative feelings.

Trusting Your Gut Instinct

Gut instinct, or intuition, plays a significant role in reading others. It’s an instinctive feeling that often arises without conscious reasoning. Trusting your gut can help quickly judge someone’s intentions or feelings. Past experiences and knowledge shape this instinct, and while it’s not infallible, it can be a valuable tool for understanding social dynamics.

This is the kind of information that marketing professionals harness to determine consumer preference for or against a product.

Final Thoughts on Crying During Movies

Crying during movies is part of the experience of totally immersing yourself in a movie. In another study, researchers looked at the illusion of having two bodies simultaneously during a movie. They say that although we know that the movie is not real, more perceptive people are simultaneously aware of being inside the film and outside of it.

This conflict between being both here in the seat of the theater and also participating in the movie experience of the actors can cause viewers to experience “dizziness and nausea, an unsettling yet – to a certain degree – pleasurable feeling, which is significantly intensified in media environments such as 3-D films and virtual reality.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

References:
Neither Here nor There The Paradoxes of Immersion.
http://web.a.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=18718787&AN=116581281&h=v7VKcOQddTGnzzUGgFgq%2fOK5sGTxjzy%2b2JR6DlKPJHPBQbkVDnSQGw9hyJ8U7UcXLEphMwLom9I%2fLaNxi%2b6Okw%3d%3d&crl=c&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d18718787%26AN%3d116581281

4 Reasons Women are Scared to Date

May 19, 2017 by Power of Positivity

We all have different perspectives about dating. Some people see it as fun and full of possibilities; others hate it. For the latter group, their glum outlook on dating is understandable, as the path to finding a partner is often a difficult one. “How many more guys/girls can I deal with?” “What the heck is wrong with me?” “What on Earth is wrong with them?”

For those in a relationship, odds are you didn’t find your partner right away. A few of us have even gone through hell and back before finding our love – a time of tremendous joy accompanied by a sense of relief.

The dating uncertainty has made some people fearful – a natural response to vulnerability. Dating is a risk, plain and simple. For women afraid to date, such feelings must be okay. Be patient and wait for when you’re ready.

This article is for you. Here, we discuss four reasons why women are scared to date. For our male readers, you may find that some of these words describe your thoughts and feelings on the subject of dating, as well.

Here are four reasons why women are scared of dating:

“Dating is a risk, with a great reward, just remember you can keep going, or stop at any time, this is your life.” – Anon.

1. She’s afraid of rejection

In two words, rejection sucks. Unfortunately, dating often involves plenty of it – which quickly becomes disheartening. In essence, being rejected is similar to being told “You’re not good enough.”

In addition to the influx of negative emotions, rejection damages psychological well-being. Using Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), scientists have found that rejection follows the same pathways of the brain that receive pain signals. Rejection literally hurts from a neurological perspective.

Considering the brain’s tendency to relive adverse life events – and the manifestation of emotional and physical pain that rejection brings – it quickly becomes apparent why a woman who has been hurt would fear the notion of dating.

2. She’s dated a person with serious issues

If you’ve ever been with a woman who you deeply cared for, only to have your chances squashed by some ex, then you understand the immense frustration and hurt that affects both people.

Maybe her former was an alcoholic or drug addict, womanizer, manipulator, narcissist, control freak, or any other one of a thousand things. Unfortunately, she’s still wrestling with the abuse to which she was subjected.

Being the target of emotional, psychological, or physical abuse is traumatizing. Sadly, it’s also far too common. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 48 percent of women have experienced psychological abuse, 40 percent have experienced emotional manipulation and control, and 19 percent have been physically threatened or harmed.

3. She’s afraid of not being single

There’s a minority out there that loves being single, and the reason is quite simple: they can do whatever, whenever. No partner = no problem. While these women may occasionally “hear it” from their family and friends, it isn’t enough to surrender the awesomeness of “me.” While this perspective is more common in younger women, plenty of happy and successful people have the desire to “get out there.”

For most women who value their singlehood, a time comes when they long for a person to share their life with. This feeling is analogous to dipping your toe in cold water. Jumping in may be refreshing. But first, you’ve got to leap. Remind yourself that there’s no “time limit” to dating aside from those that are self-imposed. Take your time.

4. She is afraid of (a) Commitment or (b) Lack of commitment

While men are usually painted as the more non-committed of the sexes, women can be just as commitment-phobic. Fear of dating, as a byproduct of commitment issues, usually results from one of two things: her fear of commitment or a potential partner’s lack thereof.

There are many reasons for a fear of commitment or being attached to one person for life: fearing the hypothetical ‘end’ of a relationship, not being able to achieve life goals; need for personal space – and so on.

Of the two, fearing lack of commitment from a partner is more ubiquitous. Of the two sexes, it is fair to say that women are considerably more sensitive. As such, women (usually) take breakups harder. Repeated exposure to someone else’s lack of commitment takes a considerable emotional toll, enough to refrain from dating for an indefinite amount of time.

“Dating is a risk, with a great reward, just remember you can keep going, or stop at any time, this is your life.”

There is no shame in admitting that you’re afraid to date – to be vulnerable. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been a victim or if you’re afraid of giving up your own life.

Most importantly, don’t allow anyone else to define happiness for you. Don’t let anyone else tell you how your life “should be.” It’s your life; pursue your version of happiness.

Final Thoughts on Why Women Today Hesitate to Date

The fear of dating is a complex and deeply personal issue for many women. Rejection, often accompanied by emotional pain, can make the prospect of dating daunting. Past relationships with individuals dealing with serious issues can leave lasting scars. As a result, it can be challenging to open up to new possibilities. Some women cherish their singlehood, but eventually, they may yearn for companionship, which can be intimidating. Commitment, whether the fear of it or the absence of it in a partner, can also be a significant barrier to dating.

Remember, there is no right or wrong timeline for dating, and no one should define your path to happiness. Dating is a risk with the potential for great rewards. Still, it’s a journey you can navigate at your own pace. Your life is yours, and pursuing your version of happiness should always be the priority. Embrace your individuality and make choices that align with your desires and aspirations.

5 Exceptional Personality Traits of An Over-Thinker

May 17, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The act of overthinking is often associated with anxiety; indeed, it isn’t unusual for a person to possess both traits. Though the two “conditions” are rarely mutually exclusive, the “symptoms” are not always the same.

It is true that those with anxiety and those that overthink have persistent thoughts. The main difference is that many (not all) overthinkers are known to possess some exceptional personality traits and abilities. Contrast this with anxiety, which almost always has a negative connotation.

In this article, we discuss five benefits of overthinking. In the interest of intellectual honesty, we’ll also go over when you may be overdoing it – and how you can mitigate some of the stress that comes with overthinking.

The 5 personality traits of an over-thinker include…

1. Creativity

In an article published in Trends in Cognitive Sciences, researchers conclude an existing link between higher brain activity (“self-generated thought”) and creativity.

While the authors do concede that a link exists between overthinking and neuroticism, they also note that “Existing neuroticism models cannot explain its link to both unhappiness and creativity.”

Self-generated thought (SGT), a trait seemingly hardwired into an overthinker’s brain, can stimulate the imagination.

2. Problem Solving

When overthinkers observe a problem in their external environment, they possess a unique ability to turn inwards and find a solution. In a way, this internal “switch” is a 360-degree turn from their default mode.

Albert Einstein may be considered history’s greatest mind. But what many people do not know is that Einstein was an obsessive overthinker. He could not not think about the phenomenon that is a beam of light. Eventually, due to his obsession, Einstein discovered the theory of relativity – the universally-recognized equation E=MC².

3. Detail Orientation

When overthinkers harness their attention, it’s an incredibly powerful thing. Though not all overthinkers have tremendous attention to detail, many do because of their ability to center their attention on something that looks “out of place.”

Of course, upon noticing the out of place “something,” an overthinker cannot feel at ease until the out of place is, well, “put back into place.”

While the late, great Steve Jobs may or may not have been an overthinker, he certainly exhibited the obsessive attention to detail typical of one. Consider this snippet from an article published by Business Insider:

Steve Jobs was a true obsessive.

He pored over every tiny detail of every product, every ad, every store, every thing related to Apple.

For instance, when Apple was starting to open new retail stores, his ad partner Lee Clow said, “Steve made us spend a half hour deciding what hue to gray the restroom signs should be.”

4. Academic Achievement

In an article produced by Time’s Higher Education, author Daniel Nettle writes:

“it is quite plausible that being high in neuroticism (a trait associated with overthinking) will be associated with signature strengths as well as vulnerabilities. Researchers have found that high scorers often strive hard, even in the absence of external reward, the fear of failure, of failing behind or to counteract the hazards they sense ahead,”

“(This) anxiety…is undoubtedly toxic in the wrong circumstances, but is also the greatest tool of the scholar.”

In short, an overthinker can achieve tremendous academic success. In fact, it is not uncommon to see these “neurotics” obtain a prestigious position at some of the world’s most prominent universities.

5. Introspection

Introspection, defined as “the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes” is something that overthinkers excel at.

Similar to the other four things on this list, an overthinker must be able to channel this internal energy to experience positive change. Introspection, in a sense, is what allows someone to pinpoint their weaknesses and work towards correcting them.

This actually leads to our conclusion…

Overthinkers can be their own best friend or worst enemy. Continuous, scattered thoughts produce little to no value, regardless of one’s innate intelligence or personality.

Within everyone who overthinks is tremendous potential. Whether or not this potential is realized depends, more or less, on one of two things: (1) the individual realizes this potential, or (2) someone sees and convinces the person of their giftedness.

Alexander Graham Bell may have said it best:

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought into a focus.”

References:
Baer, D. (2014, May 9). Here’s How Being Neurotic Can Make You More Successful. Retrieved May 7, 2017, from http://www.businessinsider.com/neurotic-people-can-be-super-successful-2014-5
Perkins, A. M., Arnone, D., Smallwood, J., & Mobbs, D. (2015). Thinking too much: self-generated thought as the engine of neuroticism. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9), 492-498. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2015.07.003
Times Higher Education. (2007, August 10). You don’t have to be neurotic, but it helps. Retrieved May 7, 2017, from https://www.timeshighereducation.com/news/you-dont-have-to-be-neurotic-but-it-helps/90200.article#survey-answer
Yarow, J. (2011, October 27). Shade Of Grey Apple Should Use For The Bathroom Signs In Apple Stores. Retrieved May 7, 2017, from http://www.businessinsider.com/steve-jobs-attention-to-detail-2011-10

Who Should You Never Date, According To Your Zodiac Sign?

May 17, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Who you should be in a relationship has been covered before, but which zodiac sign should you avoid? That is a very good question, indeed.

The intention of this piece is not to be negative in any way, only to serve as a warning from what could potentially be a mistake on your part. After all, we want to see you beaming with happiness and light.

With that out of the way, it is now time to sit back, relax, maybe grab a nicely chilled beverage from your fridge, and read on. Here comes the answer to your question.

Who Should You Never Date, According to Your Zodiac Sign?

Aries (21st March – 19th April)

You’re the independent Ram. You do your own thing and that is not negotiable. You have no time to think about someone being too clingy. This will lead to you feeling smothered and there is no way you will sacrifice that independence for anything. A potential partner either toes the line or walks away.

Taurus Zodiac Sign (20th April – 20th May)

Stubborn and jealous Bull, stay clear of anyone who “owns it”. Yes, you are attracted to these larger-than-life people but the very thought of you sharing your special someone rightly or wrongly sets off alarm bells in your head. That is an animal trap best avoided.

Gemini (21st May – 20th June)

Although the Twin likes to show their love and enjoys a decent social life, someone alike is a no-no. The relationship would turn into a competition, instead of you two savoring what you have. In your case, the old adage fits for a reason, “Opposites attract.”

Cancer (21st June – 22nd July)

Unfortunately, the Achilles heel of the great Crab is mood swings and trust issues. You are also very much in tune with your feelings, therefore not having those taken into consideration and accepted by your partner is a dealbreaker. Someone saturated in secrecy gives you suspicion, so solely you must say “See you!” for your mind would go into overdrive and that particular road would lead to someplace ugly.

Leo (23rd July – 22nd August)

You love to give love, majestic Lion/ess. However, not without receiving love in return. If you feel that this is the case including in public, regally walk away. The same goes for someone who does not support you emotionally or “bigs you up”. As the ruler, you deserve greatness bestowed upon you and you love to share it with the ruler of your heart.

Virgo Zodiac Sign (23rd August – 22nd September)

Ah, the people-pleasing Virgin. This is how you are on an emotional level. It is best advised to stay away from those who have great difficulty in communicating and people who do not “have it all together” like you. You do not have the time to sift through a train wreck.

Libra (23rd September – 22nd October)

You tend to tip the Scales in the showboating stakes, being a very outgoing and sociable soul. If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel insecure and that your self-worth is through the floor, run for the hills pronto.

Scorpio (23rd October – 21st November)

The deep, yet assertive and sexy Scorpion takes no prisoners. You know what you want and know exactly how to get it. If your partner is not up to par with you, it is time for them to walk the plank. Being a strong sign, you dating someone that is unable to handle your character is like Arnold Palmer playing a round of golf with Captain Hook!

Sagittarius (22nd November – 21st December)

Archers do not like wallflowers. Plain and simple. You are loud and proud and not afraid to show it. You want to show off your love interest to friends and family, yet they are content to hang back because they are nervous. The shy type, the introverted, the ones who seldom come out of their shells, need not apply here.

Capricorn (22nd December – 19th January)

No guts, no glory! The controlling Goat is another one who should give the shy, quiet ones a wide berth. If you see that your significant other is unable to speak up from your usual stubbornness, then you should back down from further romantic liaison.

Aquarius (20th January – 18th February)

A typical Water Carrier likes solitude and shies away from the social limelight. If you date someone like you, you do yourself no favors at all. You two will end up not doing anything to create memories and boredom will set in rather easily. There is a brave new world out there, and doing the humdrum dance with Denis/e decimates your chances of seeing it. Do yourself a favor; date someone different to you.

Pisces Zodiac Sign (19th February – 20th March)

Our Fishy friend is profound and sensitive. Those who are less than empathetic and/or have an ego greater than the Burj Khalifa are not the catch of the day. Too many jokes could spoil the party for you because they might be taken the wrong way and your feelings may not be spared.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Things To Always Look For In A Relationship

May 17, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever wondered why nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce? Relationship experts are too quick to point out why married couples split – information that may or may not make a difference for someone seeking to avoid the “Big D.” So what do you look for in a new partner?

Something that’s far less discussed is the vetting process known as dating. The word “vetting” may sound callous when describing dating, but isn’t that REALLY what it is?

Sure, dating can be (and should be) a fun, non-committal, “this may or may not happen” type of thing, but for most people, a date is a potential partner.

It’s too easy to say, “you should wait for this, this, and this before committing yourself.” While such a statement may be well-intentioned, it’s worthless unless you provide some substance; in other words, why “this, this, and this” may be important attributes to look for in a partner. Every person is different and looks for different things (really complicated, we know.)

We don’t pretend to be relationship experts – we are not. We don’t provide “one size fits all” advice – and we won’t do so here.

“An objective mindset” is not a particularly sexy or exciting thing to recommend for daters. (And, remember, it is only a recommendation.) BUT, when it comes to relationships, objectivity is underrated. Practicality is underrated. Cohesiveness is underrated.

Here are 10 (possible) things to look (and not look) for in the right partner:

1. Having the “Essentials” in Common

We’re glad you asked. The “essentials” are things like: where to live, children or no children, religion or spirituality, the use of money, a sense of a “shared purpose,” etc. (Some even put political views on this list…)

Take the five things important to you and see how your date checks out. Just don’t interrogate them or give out a creepy vibe.

2. Be Wary of a New Partner Who Wants to Rush to the Altar

If you’re on a first date and the word “married” escapes your date’s lips once, it should be a wrap. (Minus the apparent exceptions, like marriage being a topic of discussion.)

Most people rushing to get married become reasonably apparent during the first date or two. The odds are that they will be a pain to date, much less marry.

3. Find a Partner Who Puts a Smile on Your Face

A sense of humor is compelling – and a shared sense of humor is even more so. Finding someone who can get you to smile and laugh on a bad day deserves some consideration.

Humor can overcome many of life’s most formidable obstacles, not to mention that laughter brings lots of fun to a relationship.

4. Someone Who Listens to You

As a relationship progresses, this quality becomes more important than anything else. If you can’t have a good conversation with your partner, it’s going to be a rough ride no matter the circumstances.

5. Someone with the “Intangibles.”

Again, thanks for asking. Intangible personality traits: kindness, honesty, generosity, integrity, and empathy.

“What intangibles are important to me?” is an excellent question before each date.

6. One Who Can Abstain From Lust

Physical solid attraction creates tunnel vision – we pay less attention to what someone says and does. Resisting this strong sense of magnetism and being discreet and respectful is an excellent sign.

7. Ability to Dismiss First Date Infatuation

When we immediately hit it off with someone, it’s tempting to allow passion to creep in, which can cloud our judgment. If you have an ideal first date, great! Do yourself a favor and don’t become full of anxiety, which can come as desperation. Hopefully, the other person reciprocates.

8. If You Can’t Look Past the “One Thing,” Don’t

It doesn’t matter what the “one thing is” – a lack of attraction, bad chemistry, a “red flag,” whatever. That “one thing” will likely make progression in a relationship difficult, if not impossible.

9. Find a Partner Who Will Love You for Yourself

The other person will like your authentic self, or they won’t – it’s that simple. In the event of the latter, shrug it off and look forward to when someone loves the real you. Whatever you do, don’t compromise or put on a façade.

Believe us. It’s worth the wait.

10. Someone Compassionate, Kind, and Loving

Sort of a no-brainer here, but plenty of folks have ended up with someone who exhibits zero of these traits. Do yourself a favor and observe how the person interacts with strangers. This is often a good indication of their character.

11. A Partner Who Doesn’t Have A lot of Baggage

Emotional baggage can be detrimental to a relationship. When someone has been hurt so deep into their soul that it changes them, this will directly affect anyone with them in the future. For instance, someone cheated on is more likely to fear going through that pain again. So, they might be a little overprotective and controlling to keep history from repeating itself.

According to the Wright Foundation, each person has some degree of emotional baggage. However, it’s imperative to unpack those bags if you ever intend to move on with your life. This can be done through many outlets, including therapy. Consequently, it’s essential to be honest with anyone you enter into a relationship with, as they need to know your issues upfront.

12. A Person Who Has Common Interests

While they say that opposites attract, you need to have some things in common to enjoy time with one another. If you don’t like to do any of the same things, one of you will be sitting and waiting for the day to end while the other will be aggravated that you don’t enjoy the same stuff. The other option is to do things apart, and that’s only good on occasion. To be a strong couple, spending time together is essential.

13. Strong Family/Friend Support

You can always tell a lot about a person by how they treat their friends and family members. Did you know that narcissistic people often have poor relationships, if any? If a person doesn’t want you to come home and meet the family after months of dating.

14. Treats Others with Respect

One exciting way to tell how someone truly is on the inside is to watch how they treat others. It doesn’t matter that they act like you’re the best person in the world if they tell off the waitstaff for an order mix-up. Watch how they interact with customer service people, their families, and coworkers.

You want someone kind, and old habits don’t die hard. Just because they seem kind and genuine to you at the moment, it doesn’t always mean it will stay that way.

15. Respects Your Boundaries

Any healthy relationship has boundaries. These limitations keep you safe and secure, and if they genuinely want to be with you, they will respect them. If you have a rule that there will be no intimacy for a couple of months, they shouldn’t be pushing you to do something that makes you go beyond your limits.

When someone truly cares for you, they will respect the morals and boundaries you’ve established, too, will have limits.

16. Does the Little Things

While trust, honesty, and integrity are all part of the foundational building blocks of a relationship, you also need someone who does the little things. Something sweet tends to solidify the relationship when someone makes your coffee before work, sends flowers, scratches your back because it calms you, and cares that your car is warm on a cold winter’s morning.

17. Wants to Spend Time with You

Relationships require a lot of time and effort, and if you don’t take the time to nurture your union, it will fall apart. Look for a mate willing to spend time with you even if it means they must let some things go. Remember that a person will always make time for the important things to them, so don’t accept the excuse that they’re too busy.

18. Stability

While love and intimacy are all good, romance without finance isn’t happening. If you want someone who will make your life easier, you will pick a stable person. A sound person has a degree, job, and life in order. The last thing you need is someone who is a complete mess and couch surfing as they need to fix themselves before they can ever bring someone else into their life.

19. A Partner Who Has Empathy

It would help if you had someone who gets you on an emotional level. Sympathy is one thing, but having empathy takes it to a whole new dimension. You want a person that puts their arms around you after a hard day and lets you cry on their shoulders.

An empathetic person knows that there are times when you need personal space, and there are times when you need someone to cuddle with you. Whenever you’re experiencing loss or other emotional pain, they listen to you and don’t try to minimize your feelings. They may not have all the answers, but they offer you the gift of their presence.

20. Find a Dependable Partner

Did you know that the best ability is dependability? You want a partner who shows up when they say they will. If they say they’re going to take you on vacation to the mountains, that vacation is as good as done.

You want someone you can depend on, and their words are gospel. Otherwise, it causes a rift under the surface when one partner is dependable and the other is flighty.

21. Someone Not Afraid of Commitment

It’s often the case that people are afraid of commitment. Some people won’t classify your relationship as anything other than friends, and that hurts. You want an available person who is not scared of taking things to the next level with you.

22. They Have Lots of Friends of the Opposite Sex

Of course, it’s wonderful to have friends of the opposite sex. However, it’s a red flag when the person you’re interested in is texting and calling members of the opposite sex too frequently. It can indicate that someone is a player, or it can signify that they have other issues going on under the surface.

Final Thoughts on Finding a Wonderful New Partner

When you find someone who completes you in every way, you’ve found a gem indeed. People often become satisfied with unsatisfactory relationships because they don’t think they can do better.

It’s often the case that it’s easier to settle for someone that isn’t your perfect match because you feel it’s better than being alone. However, the only thing worse than being single and alone is being with the wrong person, and waiting for the right one is worth the wait.

Research Reveals Why You Should Never Check Your Phone Before Bed

May 16, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Quick question: when was the last time you looked at your phone? Can this time be measured in hours, minutes…seconds?

Mobile devices, particularly smartphones, are now part and parcel of our daily lives. They can access nearly every piece of information: directions, bank account info, news and events, daily tasks, and many others. Of course, they also provide near-immediate access to less-than-vital information.

Deloitte & Touche, perhaps the world’s most prominent consulting firm, concluded in a research study that: “…mobile devices have become so ubiquitous that anyone without access to one is unable to participate in the full spectrum of activities that comprise our global economy.” In other words, smartphones are becoming less of a “want” for many.

Smartphones are excellent tools; convenient and compact, they provide access to essential information. Smart devices serve several private and business functions and have revolutionized how we communicate with one another.

But, as with any “tool,” it can be misused.

The Unintended Consequences of Overusing Your Phone

Many experts in medicine, public health, law enforcement, and others overwhelmingly agree that smartphones have become a serious distraction – a distraction that can result in severe consequences.

In a report published by the National Safety Council, researchers reviewed 180 fatal vehicle accidents from 2009 to 2011. According to the report, 52 percent of all deadly crashes stemmed from cell phones. Tragic.

Many of us are addicted to our smartphones – and this addiction has unintended consequences. These unintended consequences adversely affect our health and overall quality of life – and, maybe, the health and lives of others.

“All told, we look at our phones approximately 47 times a day, and that number rises to 82 for 18-24-year-olds. Collectively US smartphone users check their phone in the aggregate more than 9 billion times per day.” – Deloitte & Touche: 2016 Global Mobile Consumer Survey: US Edition.

Sleep and Your Phone: A Bad Combination

While we may never be involved in a car accident resulting from misguided cell phone use, it can manifest health problems. According to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE, excessive “screen time” has been linked to poor sleep quality – a widely-acknowledged public health concern.

Sufficient sleep is essential to both physical and mental health. Dr. Gregory Marcus, the author of the study and director of clinical research at the University of California, San Francisco, concurs: “There’s growing evidence that poor sleep quality is not simply associated with difficulty concentrating and being in a bad mood the next day, but may be a really important risk factor to multiple diseases.”

Medical experts have discovered a correlation between sleep deprivation and cardiovascular disease, depression, diabetes, obesity, and premature death.

The Study: Hypothesis and Methodology

The study’s primary objective was to test the hypothesis that increased screen-time results correlate with poor sleep quality. To test this hypothesis, Marcus and his team measured smartphone screen time (defined as “the number of minutes in each hour the screen was on) via an approved application (“app”).

The researchers collected the data over a 30-day window, then analyzed and categorized into total and average (per day) screen-time. The team computed the average screen time during “self-reported bedtime hours” and periods of sleep.

The researchers obtained information relating to demographics, medical history, and sleeping habits as a control method.

Results and Conclusions

Upon analyzing the aggregate data, the research team observed the following:

– Younger adults have a much higher average screen-time than other demographics.

– Participants exceeding the average screen-time had shorter durations of sleep and worse sleep-efficiency.

– Participants exceeding the average screen-time during self-reported bedtime hours “were associated with poor sleep quality, decreased sleep efficiency, and longer sleep onset latency (wakefulness).”

– Screen-time varies across demographics (e.g., age, race, socioeconomic status), potentially linking cultural aspects of a person with smartphone usage.

The study’s authors conclude the survey by citing the following information:

– The study’s results reinforce other published research – and related findings – about adults and smartphone use and “confirm that adults spend a substantial amount of time using their smartphones.”

– Screen-time is strongly associated with poor sleep.

– Poor sleep may result in increased screen-time.

– Exposure to smartphone screens during bedtime may negatively affect sleep.

Never Check Your Phone Before Going to Bed

Besides Ditching Your Phone, Here Are 12 Other Better Bedtime Habits

1. Keep All Electronics Out of Your Bedroom

While you know your cell phone can interrupt your sleep, any electronic can do the same. They emit blue light, and even the slightest of these lights can inhibit your rest. According to The Sleep Foundation, these lights stimulate the brain and make sleep challenging.

2. Wind Down and Hour Before Sleep

Many people can’t just hop into bed and fall right to sleep. So, it’s best to use a wind-down period to help your body and mind prepare. Maybe reading a book or playing the piano can help to calm you. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you do it in a dimly lit area to don’t stimulate yourself rather than relax.

3. Keep a Set Bedtime

Setting a time to go to bed and a time to wake is very important. Your body thrives on schedules, and your internal clock knows that 11 pm is time to go to sleep, and it will start preparing for that activity. You can mess up your circadian rhythm when your sleep/wake cycle is off, making you feel horrible.

According to The Sleep Foundation, your circadian rhythm is your internal clock that runs on a 24-hour cycle. This inner clock relies on environmental cues to operate, specifically light. Therefore, you feel tired when it’s dark outside and energized when it’s daytime.

4. Avoid Caffeine

While it may sound tempting to have a cup of coffee with dinner, it’s best to skip any caffeinated beverage after 3 pm. If you can’t make it that long without the caffeine boost, try avoiding these drinks three hours before your usual bedtime. Since caffeine is a stimulant, your restless nights can be caused by consuming too much of it.

5. Watch Your Liquid Intake

If you drink a big glass of water before bedtime, it only stands to reason that you will need to use the restroom during the night. Some folks have smaller bladders than others, so if you know getting up to go potty is an issue, you need to cut off all drinks after a specific time.

It’s estimated that a three-hour window with no liquids is sufficient. If your mouth gets dry, try some sugar-free gum or a mint to help keep your mouth moist without putting extra fluid into your system.

6. Try Meditation or Yoga

One problem that many people have is that they can’t sleep because their mind is racing. It’s hard to shut down your brain when it’s been going in high gear all day long. So, the best way to prepare yourself for rest is to try something like meditation or yoga.

Both ancient arts can help to release stress and tension from your body, and they will allow you to enter a peaceful state that’s conducive to sleep. Meditation helps purge all the negativity you’ve picked up from the day and gives you an overwhelming sense of calm that makes sleep effortless.

7. Don’t Lie Restless for More Than 20 Minutes

There are some nights when sleep just doesn’t come easy. If you’ve laid and tossed and turned for more than 20 minutes, get up and do something. A small activity in a dimly lit room can help encourage sleepiness.

8. Use Blackout Curtains/Blinds

Since your body needs darkness to sleep, any little bit of light can inhibit the process. The glow from the moon might be beautiful, but if this light is beaming through your windows, it will not help you rest.

Blackout curtains or blinds are an excellent option for shift workers who sleep during the day and work at night, as this will certainly mess with your circadian rhythm. However, these little devices can also help those with streetlights and other bright lights that come through the window and inhibit sleep.

9. Crate Your Pets

While sleeping with your dog or cat may be enticing, it’s best to crate them to enhance your sleep. Many animals tend to hog the bed and make you crowded and unable to rest properly. You don’t need all their dander on your sheets that can aggravate your allergies. It’s best to create your animals to ensure a good night’s rest.

10. Never Use Alcohol to Sleep

Have you ever heard of having a nightcap? Skip the alcohol if you’re having trouble sleeping, as it can mess with your sleep cycle. Instead, try a nice glass of warm milk or a natural supplement like melatonin to help you rest.

11. Set an Alarm Clock

Since you’re kicking the phone to the curb, it’s time to pull out the old-fashioned alarm clock. After you train your body to wake up with the alarm, soon you will find that you don’t even need it. Your body will awaken without this device as it’s put itself on an internal timer.

12. Wear Socks to Bed

While wearing socks to bed is natural for some folks, it can affect your sleep. Did you know that it can inhibit your rest if you have cold toes? Additionally, women going through menopause and having difficulty regulating their body temperatures may find that socks help balance their inner thermostat. Try to find some socks made of natural soft fibers, as they’re the optimal choice.

Final Thoughts on Putting Away Your Phone for a Better Night’s Rest

Americans have become accustomed to having their phones by their bedside, which isn’t a good idea. First, you’re tempted to surf the night away and take away from your precious sleep time, and second, you’re denying your partner your communication because you’re on the phone.

Insomnia is a real problem, and many people don’t realize that there are so many things they can do to help this issue. By removing electronic devices, setting a bed schedule and an alarm clock, and doing an activity that helps you wind down, you can enhance your rest and wake to feel refreshed.

15 Thoughts That Are Toxic To Your Life

May 10, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Negative thinking often happens automatically, without us even realizing we’re engaging in this toxic habit. Our brains tend to run on autopilot, repeating the same thought patterns over and over again. Many people feel they have no influence on these thoughts, but they actually hold a lot of power in changing them.

Simply put, toxic thoughts will absolutely paralyze you, keeping you from living a happy, healthy life. We know that in today’s world, thinking positively 24/7 just isn’t realistic, but you can work to change some of the negative thoughts so that you have a more optimistic outlook on your life.

The brain is certainly a complex machine, and scientists are still trying to understand why we have negative thoughts, and where they come from. However, based on our current knowledge, we know that we CAN change how and what we think, and we can simply allow thoughts to come into our brains without attaching ourselves to them.

Researchers even agree that toxic thoughts can contribute to mental health disorders like depression and anxiet.

With that said, we’ve made a list of the most toxic thoughts you could possibly entertain, so that you will know what impact they make on your life. We hope this will help you to pay closer attention to your thought patterns, and correct them if need be.

HERE ARE 15 THOUGHTS THAT ARE TOXIC TO YOUR LIFE…

1.“I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.”

Sadly, many of us believe this negative statement, and even allow it to stand in our way of success, love, and happiness. Don’t buy into it. Sure, you might be able to improve and change things in your life, but that doesn’t make you unworthy of what you want.

This is definitely a statement that you want to toss into the garbage, or at the very least, not believe when it happens to enter into your mind. The world constantly tells us we need to be a certain way in order to either have fame, success, love, happiness, admiration, etc, but the only person you need to answer to at the end of the day is you.

The only person you need to be good enough for is yourself. Period.

2. “I HAVE NO PURPOSE.”

Again, this is one of the most widespread toxic thoughts. Still, it is one that can tear us apart inside if we ruminate on it too much. If you feel you don’t have a purpose, first look at your hobbies and interests. Could one of those perhaps lead you to your purpose? Could you spend more time doing the things you love and eventually turn it into a career?

Also, consider this. Maybe we have multiple purposes in life, and shouldn’t just pigeonhole ourselves by thinking we must keep searching for this one grand mission we need to fulfill. We can all speculate on our ultimate purpose, but no one really knows why we came here. All we know is, we’re here right now, and we have to make the best of it somehow. Do whatever makes you come alive, and don’t stress yourself out worrying what others might think.

3. “I’M WORTHLESS.”

In today’s world, we’re under immense pressure by our employers, bill collectors, and even family, friends, and significant others. We have so much weight to carry around because of all these responsibilities, and when we fail at something, it can be quite easy to feel worthless. If we disappoint our boss or family, our ego and sense of self-worth can take a heavy blow, leaving us feeling like a failure.

However, just remember that no one is perfect by any means, and we all make mistakes sometimes. We’re all a work in progress, and this will remain true throughout our lives. Stop being so hard on yourself, and learn to reward yourself for your achievements and simply look at your failures as opportunities for improvement.

4. “LIFE IS TOO HARD.”

Trust us, you are not the only one feeling this way. Millions, even billions, of others probably feel the same. However, life is largely about problem-solving, and we must tackle one thing at a time. Our brains cannot process too many problems simultaneously, so focus on the task at hand, and move on to the next.

Write down your goals, go after them, and don’t place any limits on yourself. Life’s only hard if you make it that way, and if you believe it is. Make your life how you want it, laugh at the good times, and learn from the hard times. That’s really the only way any of us can stay (somewhat) sane in this crazy world.

5. “I WON’T BE HAPPY UNTIL…”

Stop right there. Don’t let yourself finish that sentence, because happiness can be had right here, right now if you allow yourself to feel it. Feeling a little down? Put on your favorite music, call up an old friend, throw a dance party for one in your room, or have a couple scoops of ice cream. Life is way too short to bottle up your happiness and only allow yourself to feel it when certain conditions have been met.

For example, what if you said “I won’t be happy until I move to a different city.” So, will you live in a state of misery until you get there? You’re cheating yourself out of living if you fall into this toxic thoughts. Learn to find the silver lining in the dark clouds, because one day, you’ll look back on your life and wish you had felt happier while living it.

6. “IT’S TOO LATE TO CHANGE MY LIFE.”

This is a fable that many people like to read over and over again, but here’s a spoiler for you: it won’t have a happy ending. So, close that book right now and open a new one. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. If you want to make a change in your life, only you can make that happen. Only you are standing in your way, so you have to drop the idea that you’re too old/too stuck/too this or that to transform your life.

It’s never too late to go after your dreams, so never stop chasing them.

7. “I’M NOT READY.”

This might come as a shocker, but no one is ever ready. We all are just making leaps of faith and hoping things work out. No one will ever knock on your door and tell you you’re ready; you have to just go for it and see where life will take you. The belief that you’re not ready is what’s holding you back, so start believing the opposite and see what happens.

8. “I DON’T HAVE TIME.”

None of us really has oodles and gobs of time, but we can set aside some time for what we need to accomplish. If you want to achieve a dream, it will take time to get from Point A to Point B. It will take blood, sweat and tears to get there, and you have to be willing to put in a little elbow grease and drop the excuses to see results. If you really want something, you’ll make it a priority and allot some time to work solely on the things that matter to you.

9. “I DON’T BELONG HERE.”

If you feel like an alien here, don’t worry – we all do. None of us asked to be here, but we can make the most of the experience while it lasts. If you feel you don’t belong, try to find a group where people share your interests. If you don’t know what interests you, do a little soul-searching to find it. Just try different things as well, and see if any of them grow on you after a while. We all came from the same source, so we’re all connected in that way. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone, because all of us are in this together.

10. “I’M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING.”

Yet another toxic statement that so many of us tell ourselves regularly. If you don’t feel good at anything, write down a list of things you enjoy doing, and practice them. Don’t compare yourself to others, either. The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

11. “NO ONE LIKES ME.”

It’s natural to want to feel accepted as part of a group, but just remember that you have to accept yourself first before others can. You don’t need the approval of anyone but yourself.

Also, don’t chase after people. The right people will come along and love you for exactly who you are when you follow your heart.

12. “I FEEL SO FAR BEHIND.”

Again, you won’t get anywhere by comparing yourself to others. Just do the best you can with what you have, and everything will fall into place eventually. Comparing yourself is a game you won’t ever win, so don’t even bother playing it. Everyone is moving at a pace that works for them, so find what works for you and use that to measure your progress. This insight helps you control those toxic thoughts.

13. “I’M A FAILURE.”

You can fail at things, but that doesn’t means you’re a failure. If other people believe this about you, then let them; you won’t change their mind. However, at the end of the day, you have to answer to the person in the mirror, so don’t bring him/her down even further. Lift yourself up, and realize that many failures often lead to a great success. You can’t have success without failure, so keep that in mind.

14. “THE FUTURE SEEMS SCARY.”

Things that we can’t predict often feel scary to us, but we can’t allow ourselves to live in the future. We must live in the here and now, as uncertain as the world’s future might seem. All we have is this moment, so make the most of it.

15. “MY GOALS SEEM IMPOSSIBLE TO REACH.”

Your dreams are only impossible if you believe they are; remember, your mind has immense power, and you must not allow it to dictate your future with negative thoughts. Sure, your ultimate goal might be years away, but you can reach it by setting smaller milestones for yourself, and building your empire from there.

How to Train Your Brain to Be More Optimistic

May 10, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Being optimistic isn’t always easy, especially in a world that often seems cruel and unforgiving. We’re hardwired to have a negativity bias since searching for problems gives us an evolutionary advantage. However, it’s possible to shift your perception through willpower and regular practice of positive thinking. Our brains have an incredible ability to adapt based on our environment and experiences.

Neuroplasticity is the human brain’s ability to reorganize itself by developing new synaptic connections throughout life. So, even a person with the most negative mindset can have a brighter outlook on life. According to research, optimism doesn’t just benefit your mental health; it can also lead to a longer, healthier life.

We’ll show you a few ways to shift your thinking, so you always see the silver lining in the dark clouds.

5 Ways to Teach Your Mind to Become Optimistic

1. Override Negative Thinking With Optimistic Thoughts.

You want to replace any negative thoughts with a positive one, even if you have to repeat this a million times. Your brain naturally looks for problems, as we stated above, but you can teach it to think differently.

For instance, if you’re worried about an upcoming exam and feel like you’ll fail, constantly reassure yourself that you will pass. You have the remarkable ability to influence your reality based on your perception.

So, if you reprogram your mind to think positively, you’ll also start to notice the shift in the outer world. It also helps avoid negative media such as news or social media, as these outlets can increase stress levels.

Remember, most chaos in life stems from our minds. So if we can quiet the mental chatter, we can experience life on a deeper, more meaningful frequency. Practicing positive affirmations such as “I love my life” or “I believe in myself, and my abilities” can help shift your thinking.

2. Keep a Gratitude Journal.

Another great way to create a more optimistic mind is to write down what you’re grateful for each day. Before you even get out of bed in the morning, pull out your journal and jot down a few blessings in your life. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant; simply being able to breathe, write, think or see is an incredible gift from the universe.

Maybe you saw a beautiful flower on the way home from work yesterday, or your spouse brought you coffee in bed. Perhaps you’re thankful for the friends and family who support you in tough times and create precious memories with you. There’s always something to have gratitude for if we pay attention to the subtle aspects of life.

Slowing down and observing the bountiful life around you will help you see things more favorable. Some studies have even found a link between gratitude journaling and lower instances of depression.

3. Practice Mindfulness to Become More Optimistic.

Being optimistic will seem difficult if you’re reliving the past or worried about the future. The only way to combat a wandering, fretful mind is to root down firmly in the present. You can do this through meditation, deep breathing, yoga, or even visualization. Imagine walking barefoot through a lush, green forest, noticing all the sights and sounds of nature.

At that moment, you’re not thinking about bills you have to pay or the argument you had with your spouse. You’re simply being, breathing in and out slowly, enjoying the gift of life without judgment. You are not trying to fix or change anything about the scenery–you’re just taking it all in as you pass by.

Now, bring that feeling into your body and mind, whether in a busy store or at your desk. Notice all the sights and sounds around you without passing judgment. To become more optimistic in life, you must learn to neutralize the thoughts in your mind, constantly passing judgment or labeling situations. It’s not easy, but you can learn how to accept whatever happens around you without feeling overwhelmed or carried away by it with practice and determination.

Studies have found that mindfulness (attention regulation and awareness toward the present moment) can reduce negativity bias and increase optimistic thinking.

4. Have a Regular Meditation Practice.

Our thoughts become harmful when we strongly dislike something or someone. To have a neutral, stable mind, we must learn to move beyond likes and dislikes so that no experience harms or excites us. You might not see the problem with liking certain things, but that breeds attachment, which causes suffering once the excitement dissipates. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life, but you will experience a far greater bliss by going within and discovering your soul.

Countless studies have proven that people who regularly meditate tend to have a more optimistic mindset. In particular, compassion or loving-kindness meditation helps foster feelings of positivity and empathy towards oneself and others.

5. Get Your Body Moving.

Your mind and body are intricately connected, so exercise benefits your physical and mental health. A study found that highly active individuals had a more optimistic outlook on life than people who rarely or never exercised. Since working out releases feel-good hormones, it also lowers stress and improves mental wellness. You don’t have to do any strenuous workout to receive the benefits; simply walking briskly in your neighborhood or local park can make you more optimistic.

Final Thoughts On How to Be More Optimistic

Many of us find it challenging to maintain a positive outlook in our hectic lives. However, we can reclaim our mental health by becoming more mindful of our reactions and learning to slow down. Being optimistic doesn’t happen overnight, but with regular practice and a commitment to improving ourselves, we can shift our thinking patterns.

For example, regular meditators have a more positive mindset since they’ve trained their brains to see the silver lining in all situations. That doesn’t mean they’re perfect, but people who practice mindfulness experience less distress in daily life. In addition, exercising, keeping a gratitude journal, and practicing positive affirmations can alter your perspective for the better.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!