The idea of Emotional Intelligence was first presented by two Yale psychologists in 1990 and explored a person’s ability to recognize emotions in themselves and others, apply emotions to tasks, and manage their feelings and the feelings of others. But how does this apply to a relationship? In long-term relationships, especially ones revolving around the creation and raising of children, a woman tends to be much more emotionally, physically, and financially invested in any relationship involving children.

If that relationship is to succeed, then it depends on the man’s ability to give, receive and communicate love. A committed relationship revolves around four critical abilities proposed in the theory of Emotional Intelligence.

Why Emotional Intelligence Is The Most Important Trait In Every Man’s Relationship

A man with emotional intelligence can recognize emotions

A man has to be able to recognize his own emotions. This requires some self-awareness and introspection about his emotional state. He has to know deep down who and what he is. He also has to recognize other people’s emotional states through body language, vocal tone, and facial cues. If a man cannot remember his own emotions or the emotions of others, then he will make emotionally inappropriate remarks or actions during very emotional times. He may joke at a funeral. Or he may wrongfully sling accusations at others.

Use emotions wisely

We all have changing moods or good and bad days. Someone with a high EI will be able to recognize when they are in a mood or emotionally upset and use those emotions to get things done without upsetting those around them. They will channel that emotional energy into something productive or work on something in a more emotionally conducive environment.

Understanding emotional intelligence

A man has to understand the emotional states of those around him. Relationships are emotionally complicated, and a man has to know how emotions evolve and be sensitive to minor variations.

Manage emotions

A man has to be able to manage his emotions and harness them appropriately. Emotions are a powerful energy source, and unchecked emotions can be a virtual volcano destroying every relationship around them. A man who manages his emotions well can take that volcano and turn it into a geothermal power station, providing warmth and power to those around him.

People with high emotional intelligence manifest through kindness, sincerity, affection, and empathy. In a relationship, these traits are crucial to its success.

Emotional intelligence begets kindness

If a man is kind and generous to those around him, especially to those unable to benefit him directly, he shows that he is not just another emotional vampire. Kind people tend to attract other kind people. A kind man will give back as much or more than they take in a relationship.


A sincere man recognizes his own emotions and is unafraid to express them to his partner. Being able to express genuine and honest feelings is a valuable tool in a relationship. Sincerity means the man is emotionally available and willing to risk being hurt to deepen the relationship.


A man has to be willing to express his affection openly. He also has to be able to receive appreciation from others. Affectionate men will have good, long-term relationships with their closest friends. Indeed, they give each other hugs and embrace open displays of affection with their partner and friends. Conversely, a man who cannot express or receive respect will have strained relationships with those around him and be closed off from his partner.

Empathy comes from emotional intelligence

Understanding and empathizing with another person indicates high emotional intelligence. A man that cries during an emotionally charged movie is a good sign. If he can connect emotionally with a fictional person, he will be able to do the same in an honest and romantic relationship.

Low emotional intelligence means that a man disconnects from himself and those around him. He cannot understand his emotional states, much less those he interacts with socially. He may be emotionally stunted due to early trauma and doesn’t get why others react to emotions the way that they do. Regardless of why, a man’s relationships depend on his ability to understand the emotional needs of those around him, understand his own emotional needs and states, and connect with others on more than a superficial level for his relationships to last.

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