Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Join Now
Twt-img.png
burger-icon.svg
Main Menu

10 Toxic Thoughts People Have (That They Don’t Realize)

by

Our brains are wired for negative thoughts.

Here’s Amit Sood, M.D., author of The Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness: A 4-Step Plan For Resilient Living:

When it’s bored, the brain sulks in its default mode. Its attention wanders, thinking about something other than what you’re currently doing or wanting to think about. A wandering mind costs you nothing, but it’s very expensive. It causes stress, depression and anxiety, and takes away happiness.

Negativity bias … refers to the notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature (e.g. unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions; harmful/traumatic events) have a greater effect on one’s psychological state and processes than neutral or positive things. – Wikipedia

Your brain spends more than fifty percent of its time in toxic thoughts “default” mode.

negative thinkingOur mind’s operations are dominated by stimuli produced by the lower (“reptilian”) brain, what Dr. Sood refers to as the “default” mode. Our default mode produces neutral or negative thoughts and is often experienced as mind wandering. Consequently, we tend not to be happy when we spend too much time in default mode.

Unfortunately, we spend more time in default mode than in focused mode, something that is evident by the amount of mind-wandering we engage in.

Default Mode = Toxic Thoughts.

Have you ever noticed the amount of garbage that your brain produces when left to its own devices? The Japanese call this “monkey mind,” as our brain hops from one useless thought to the next without inhibition, similar to how a monkey hops around without thinking about where it’s going!

Of course, such “mind hopping” invites toxic thoughts to take hold. This is due to our brain’s innate negativity bias. That is, our mind has a tendency to pay more attention to things that are negative than positive or neutral topics.

Recognizing Toxic Thoughts

In this article, we’re going to talk about ten toxic thoughts and thought patterns that are common to many. It’s essential to notice when our thoughts turn toxic, as this enables us to switch to a more positive way of thinking.

First, here are ten toxic thoughts that many people have and don’t recognize:

1. “I’m a loser.”

Feeling unworthy impairs our ability to function, period. Destructive and self-limiting beliefs about one’s self can develop anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. Constructing a healthy mindset involves challenging this limiting belief.positive quote

2. “Someone else will take care of me.”

A sense of entitlement is a poisonous and dangerous state of mind. Poisonous because it will ruin our relationships, self-confidence, and self-worth. Dangerous because it sets us up for an existence where we depend on someone else for everything – and remain vulnerable to their whims.

3. “I’m always right.”

People who insist on being right all of the time risk living a life of stagnation. Without a willingness to admit when we don’t know something, it’s impossible for us to make mental and spiritual progress.

4. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Will you really do it tomorrow? Or will tomorrow become next week, next month, or never? Whatever you decide, know this: procrastination is the number one cause of dissatisfaction. Also, procrastination produces unnecessary stress and anxiety. Taking action, even if it’s just a small step, can quickly render these negative feelings mute.

5. “I’ll be happy when…”

“I get that new job,” “I have a million bucks,” “My house is paid for,” “College is finally over.”

No, no, no, and no. Multiple studies have shown that happiness is not dependent upon on income, education, or career. Studies have also shown this to be true: happiness is a life spent working on our life’s purpose and the ability to enjoy the present moment.

6. “It’s their fault.”

As you might have come to realize already, adults are not immune to immature thinking. Failing to take responsibility and blaming someone else for our problems can lead to a life of dissatisfaction. Own up to your choices in life and refuse to entertain self-made excuses.

7. “I can’t screw up.”

Mistakes are part of being human. This may sound cliché and overhyped, but expecting perfection will breed disappointment. Worse, fear of making mistakes manifests in procrastination, low self-esteem, and overthinking. Take action and let the chips fall where they may!

8. “It’s so unfair.”

Let’s not kid ourselves: life can plain suck at times. While this may tempt us to ruminate on the unfairness of life, to do so would only compound whatever crapfest is being thrown in our honor. Instead, face whatever it is head-on and try to make the best of things!

9. “I don’t want to put in the effort.”

In the 1920s, the socialist Soviet Union (now Russia) hung posters that read, “He who does not work, neither shall he eat.” People had to take whatever work they could for the mere hope of being able to feed their children. We all get lazy from time to time, But when we look at it rationally (in this case, historically!), we have no excuse for living a lazy life.

10. “I’ll try.”

Do you mean “I’ll do my best?” If so, good for you. The problem is when the words “I’ll try” project a self-defeating attitude that inspires no one. Whether or not we realize it, self-talk impacts our daily life – so pay attention to what your unconscious mind is telling you!

The “Focused Mode” of Thoughts

Fortunately, our secondary way of thinking – the “focused” mode – can forcefully repel toxic thinking. Here’s Dr. Mood once again:

“You are in focused mode when you’re paying attention to something interesting and meaningful, often in the external world … Intentionally choosing productive, purposeful thoughts also engages your focused mode.”

In short: where we direct our attention largely determines the emotions we experience. When we allow the mind to fixate on negative thoughts and sensations, such as those mentioned above, we will experience negative emotions. When we focus on something stimulating and meaningful or produce good thoughts, we feel good as a result!

thoughtsFinal Thoughts on the Importance of Banishing Toxic Thoughts

Sharpening your attention is one of the most beneficial things you can do with your time. One book incredible book on the topic is Focus by Daniel Goleman. The book is written with a casual, empathetic, yet instructional tone.

It is worth mentioning that every area of our life can be improved with enhanced focus and concentration. You will notice these benefits as your attention sharpens:

  • More quality time with family and friends
  • Better sleep
  • An Increased sense of purpose
  • Stronger drive
  • Fewer mood swings
  • Strengthened relationships at work
  • More opportunities

To end this article, here is an excellent quote by the late Steve Jobs:

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex. You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

5 Behaviors of a “Know-It-All”

by

People who think they have all the answers, who consider themselves infallible, are commonly known as a know-it-all. While this might sound like a playground insult, it’s a real phenomenon among people who lack the self-awareness to recognize their shortcomings. If you think you’re dealing with a know-it-all, you probably are.

Know-it-alls manifest several basic traits and behaviors because they think they have all the necessary knowledge. They usually expose themselves as a know-it-all by making it obvious through their behaviors and actions. Here are the best ways to spot a know-it-all.

Here Are 5 Behaviors a “Know-It-All” Will Display

know-it-all

1. Argumentative

If someone constantly tries to argue, there’s a high chance that this person is a know-it-all. To the know-it-all, everything is up for debate. And in every debate, they are always playing to win. They always want to ensure that their opinion is the last one heard on every subject, even going so far as to insert their opinion when and where it isn’t warranted or asked for. They’re constantly looking for their next argument or point to prove. Know-it-alls can expertly conjure a debate out of thin air and rope the people around them into arguing with them.

2. Condescending

Usually, a know-it-all is so sure of their knowledge that they tend to be condescending to the people around them. After all, they perceive everyone else as lacking in knowledge. When engaging in a conversation with a know-it-all, you are likely to feel like you’re being talked down to. Their tone of voice is often pitying, as if they can’t believe they’re lowering themselves to talk to someone without the same wealth of knowledge they have. Don’t let this discourage you – after all, they’re not as smart as they want to believe.

3. “Well, actually…”

Have you ever been having a conversation, and someone interjects to correct something you’ve said? “Well, actually…” is a favorite phrase of a know-it-all. It doesn’t matter what was said, or how little the detail. A know-it-all derives joy from being seen as the most educated, well-rounded, and intelligent. A know-it-all will take every opportunity they can to correct someone on even the slightest indiscretion. Even if you’re telling a personal story of something that happened to you, the know-it-all will interject with, “Well, actually…” and then try to correct you on your own, lived experiences.

4. Shifting the goalposts

According to Pamela B. Paresky Ph.D., these types of people often have something closer to the “illusion of knowledge.” They aren’t aware that they don’t know something, making them think they know … well … everything. So, when caught in being wrong, a know-it-all will often shift the goalposts of their argument. Shifting goalposts, or moving the goalposts, is a logical fallacy in arguments. It describes the changing of the “goal” of competition (in this case, the argument) while it is still ongoing. For example, if they use a word incorrectly, they might say they were using the colloquial definition – even if they weren’t.

5. Inflated Ego

Of course, since a know-it-all is walking around with the illusion of knowledge, they have no idea about all the things they don’t really know. Thinking they know everything gives them an inflated sense of self-importance. Their ego is huge. This quickly grows obvious when you start talking to them. A know-it-all may spend the majority of the time talking about himself (or herself) and personal accomplishments. When the conversation shifts to someone else, a know-it-all will always find a way to relate the conversation to self. You might notice them get pretty upset when someone else is the center of attention.

life quote

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Dealing With a Know-It-All

Dealing with someone who thinks they know everything can be particularly frustrating. However, knowing their behaviors will make it easier for you to avoid getting caught in a no-win debate with a know-it-all. Also, being aware of a know-it-all’s tendencies can make it easier to ensure you’re not displaying those same behaviors. Self-awareness is incredibly important, and sometimes it takes a little self-reflection to make sure we don’t act like a know-it-all. Remain aware of all the things you don’t know, and you’ll be fine. After all, learning something new is much better than pretending to know it already.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-and-the-pursuit-leadership/201505/can-you-spot-know-it-all

10 Phrases that Keep Children from Feeling Left Out

by

Feeling that we are accepted, loved, and a part of something is important for each of us. Feeling left out can be tough on anyone, but especially a kid.

Here are ten things to say that can keep your child from feeling left out:

“I am here to listen.”

All of us would love to have those magic words that solve a child’s social problems. Unfortunately, no such words exist. (And trying to force a conversation when they aren’t ready is a weak approach.) Young people who go through tough times often complain that their parents and other caretakers are quick to advise but not to listen. When we fail to put the latter into practice, we can’t expect them to learn from the former. Listen first.

“A lot of kids would love to be your friend.”

When a child is emotionally hurt, they tend to ruminate on who or what it is that hurt them. In the context of peer relationships, losing a friendship may be interpreted as devastating. This phrase is all about helping your kid believe in their own ability to create a diverse network of supporting peers – whether it’s through a club, team, group, etc.

“Let’s talk a bit about friendship…”

Make no mistake that those moments when your child is feeling left out – though it may be heart-wrenching – make for an excellent teaching moment. This doesn’t mean lecturing your child until he nods off; it means teaching your child about real friendship, and how disregarding or ignoring a friend is not part of it.

“Let’s go somewhere – just you and me.”

Sure, some of her peers may be giving her a hard time, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to spend time with you. Anyone reading this who has been bullied or neglected as a child will say the same thing: being somewhere with someone, doing something, is a great antidote to loneliness.

“Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely.”

Kids love to play (and sometimes it seems they live to play). For better or worse, kids tend to think that play should mostly involve other kids. After all, that’s what “all the other kids are doing.” For this reason, suggesting they engage in something interesting on their own may not be taken seriously – at least right away. But when a kid is going through a tough stretch or feeling left out, reminding them that they have many interests apart from their peers may help see them through a difficult time.

“Kids have different personalities, and that’s okay.”

What applies in the adult world also applies to children: some personalities don’t mesh. Kids who try to force their way into a social circle may face compounded social problems. It’s important that the child understand that they aren’t mean to be friends with everyone – and that’s okay.things that make kids happy

“Real friends treat one another with love and respect.”

Kids who are left out usually share a similar story: a group of “friends” who without explanation turned their backs. As we know, these kids were never real friends to begin with. Sad as this situation is, you can teach your child how friends are supposed to treat each other – with love and respect, not indifference and detachment.

“Special people are always a bit different.”

This phrase may sound a bit cliché, but there’s some truth to it. Introverted, shy, studious, gifted, cautious, or empathetic/sensitive kids seem to have more trouble making friends. This can lead them to feeling left out. One tragedy of childhood isolation is that it often leads to underachievement and unhappiness. It is crucial that your child exercise his talents, regardless of what – or who – tries to get in his way. Relatedly, encourage your child to interact with kids who have the same interests as he does.

“I am always here for you.”

Your child must know that she can come to you at any time, and under any circumstance. One huge mistake that many parents and guardians make is not vocalizing their openness and willingness to support their children. Young people do not yet have developed thought processes – sometimes leading them to jump to inaccurate conclusions about sensitive matters. Thus it is necessary to voice your love and support.

“Here’s a secret…”

Now it’s time to infuse a bit of your adult wisdom into the situation. As adults, we possess some valuable knowledge that may go a long way towards helping resolve the situation. Here are a few things you can teach your child:

  • Kids respect those who stand up for themselves
  • Ignoring and walking away is better than looking in from the outside
  • Acting courageous and strong, even when you don’t feel like it, can help you feel better

Final Thoughts

“I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” – Robin Williams

It can be tough for an adult to hear that their child is being excluded. Here’s something worth remembering: every child has uttered the words, “They won’t play with me,” at some time or another. Every child has been left out of a peer group. Indeed, some children simply don’t fit in many places, but they fit in some place. Whenever your child is feeling left out, this is the crucial message they must take away from spending time with you. That they are accepted and loved. And that they are valuable to you.

https://youtu.be/Q_U6VY7lNbI

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Things To Remember When You’re Overwhelmed With Problems

by

Psychologist Marla W. Deibler, PsyD defines overwhelm as a “feeling completely overcome in mind or emotion.” Getting overwhelmed is something that everyone deals with sometime in their life. Some people deal with it more often than others. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with problems, make sure to remember these key things. They will help you get over the hump and get you back on track with your life.

Here Are 10 Things to Remember When You’re Overwhelmed with Problems

1. You’ve done this before

Most likely, you’ve felt overwhelmed with problems before. And like all the other times, you were able to make it through and get to the other side. It’s important to remember that you’ve conquered being overwhelmed before. It will help you stay on the right track and help you avoid having a breakdown.

2. Focus on what you can control

Feeling overwhelmed comes from feeling like you are out of control. One of the best ways to combat this feeling is to make sure you’re focusing on the things that you actually can control.

Steve Maraboli once said, “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

Sometimes, you may feel a loss of control because you’re trying to control the uncontrollable. Sit back, relax, and focus on the things you do have control over.

3. Change happens fast

When it feels like you’re overwhelmed with problems, remember that the only way to get through is to be proactive. You’ll be surprised by how fast change in your life actually happens when you start putting in the effort. When you’re standing at the precipice, remind yourself that you don’t really have that far to go.

4. You have a support system

According to the University at Buffalo School of Social Work, “Supportive relationships can also bolster you emotionally when you’re feeling down or overwhelmed… they provide encouragement and lower your stress and feelings of loneliness.”

You don’t have to go through feeling overwhelmed alone. In fact, you probably have a support system that is ready and willing to help you back on your feet. Remember that your family and friends are always going to be there for you, and that you can reach out to them any time you need.

5. Someone else has survived this

The problems that we have in our lives are not unique. Even if it feels like no one else is experiencing what we are experiencing, that simply isn’t true. There are always going to be people who have gone through what you’re going through right now. All you have to do is reach out and find solidarity.

6. It’s not as bad as it seems

Even when things seem pretty darn bad. When you’re in the moment, emotions can take over and make everything seem ten times worse than it is. When you step back and look at your situation, you can probably find the silver lining. At the very least, you’ll be able to find your starting point to making a positive change.bad day

7. Find ways to relieve the stress

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stress will be right on your heels. Don’t forget to take some time to de-stress. “Resist the urge to self-impose stress by having more confidence in yourself. Don’t press the panic button every time you face a crisis. And, don’t let someone else’s behaviour stress you out,” says Sharon Melnick, author of Success Under Stress.

Whether you need to spend a few hours relaxing, meditating, journaling, exercising or watching your favorite television show, always make time to de-stress. You’ll be amazed how manageable your problems seem after you get rid of the stress.

8. Take it one problem at a time

When you’re overwhelmed, it can be tempting to try and solve everything at once. That is just going to add a whole different world of problems right into your lap. Instead, remember that all you need to do is take it one problem at a time. After that, break it down even further: one step at a time. As long as you’re moving forward, you’ll make it out the other side.

9. Remember to say “no”

If you’re a “yes man” type of person, this could be contributing to your overwhelming pile of problems. Sometimes, it’s good and healthy to exert boundaries. Learning to say “no” to certain things will help you keep your problems manageable. Remember: you don’t have to say yes to everything someone asks of you. Saying “No” can be a virtue.

10. Eat and stay hydrated

Stress and feeling overwhelmed can make it hard to remember to do the bare minimum to keep ourselves healthy. Set periodic reminders on your phone to remind yourself when to eat and when to drink water. Getting through to the other side will require that you stay healthy, well-fed, hydrated, and well-rested. Don’t forget to get sleep, too.

Final thoughts

Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a new feeling. You’ve probably made it through being overwhelmed before. Always remind yourself of these things to help you get through to the other side. You’ll come out stronger, wiser, and readier to deal with being overwhelmed if it ever happens again.

“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.” – Pat Riley

https://youtu.be/T1ke5KbOAZs

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/overwhelmed-these-6-strategies-may-help/
https://socialwork.buffalo.edu/resources/self-care-starter-kit/additional-self-care-resources/developing-your-support-system.html
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/de-stress/whats-your-daily-stress-plan/articleshow/57912596.cms

Why Having Pride Actually Means You’re Mentally Tough

by

How many times have you heard that you should never be too prideful? Maybe you’ve been told it’s better not to boast about your accomplishments. Many people have been told that pride is something to avoid, but maybe it’s time to look at being proud in a whole new light. A positive light. Being proud of yourself is nothing to be ashamed of.

Most people like to quote pride as one of the seven deadly sins, but there’s nothing deadly about pride. In fact, being proud of yourself is one of the ways you can make yourself a stronger person. Psychologists even agree that being proud of yourself is one of the best ways to grow stronger and more self-assured in mind and spirit.

Mental toughness is defined as the “ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity — the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals.” With that in mind, here are some reasons it’s okay to have a bit of pride in yourself throughout the day.

Here Are 4 Reasons Why Being Proud of Yourself Makes You Mentally Tough

1. You are your best cheerleader

It’s good to have a support system, but no one will have your back quite like yourself. Other people may have an idea of all the effort you put into achieving your goals, but only you will know exactly what you went through to get to where you are. You see yourself at your lowest, but you are also the only one able to pull yourself back up.

Being proud of yourself is important because you’re the only one who lives inside your head every day. You are in the best position to be your own cheerleader. Being able to have your own back when it comes to difficult situations will make you stronger every day.

2. Being proud of yourself builds self-worth

According to Elvira G. Aletta Ph.D. when someone is proud of themselves, the feeling can help grow their self-worth. Why is self-worth important? Self-worth is connected to all kinds of things about ourselves. Having a good amount of self-worth can help you in foundational areas of your life. Not only will self-worth build your self-esteem, but it will also allow you to interact with the rest of the world in healthy, positive ways.

Self-worth is important. It enables you to draw positive boundaries with the people around you, avoid toxic relationships, and form friendships and relationship with people who will treat you right.

3. It keeps you in touch with your emotions

When you overcome a hardship in life or achieve a goal, you want to share it. The people you tell often express pride in your abilities. If other people can be proud of you, then it stands to reason that you should be proud of yourself, too!

Feeling a sense of pride isn’t anything to be ashamed of. If you have overcome something particularly difficult in life or achieved a long-awaited goal, that inner glow of pride is a natural response. When you access that pride and keep yourself in touch with your emotions, you’ll create of yourself a stronger person.inspiring quote

4. It motivates you for the future

Self-motivation is something that many people find a struggle. Being proud can actually help you become more self-motivated. After all, if you enjoy the feeling of accomplishing your goals, in the future you can better motivate yourself to keep achieving them. Jeffrey S. Smith M.D. describes self-motivation as needing to be challenged and enjoying the reward we get once we complete that challenge.

Pride is one of the ways our mind rewards us for a job well done. That good feeling you get after you do something difficult is a sense of pride, which motivates you to keep striving for bigger and better things. Having the ability to keep yourself motivated is the hallmark of a stronger person.

Final thoughts

Don’t be afraid of pride in yourself. Being proud can lead to all kinds of positive changes in the way you look at yourself, and the way you interact with the world. Psychologists agree that the outcomes of being proud of yourself can cause anyone to be a stronger person, day by day. It’s time to shed your shame and start being proud of your pride – because it is bound to make you a better you.

https://youtu.be/xDMlO8nc5_4

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/250989
https://psychcentral.com/blog/to-build-self-esteem-allow-yourself-to-be-proud/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-and-growing/201510/motivating-yourself-and-others

Therapists Explain 5 Ways to Help Someone In A Bad Relationship

by

Everyone wants to be able to support a friend in need. When you see a friend going through a relationship crisis, you may feel it is more than you can handle. Most people don’t know what to do, or what boundaries they shouldn’t cross, when offering support. Should you give them advice? Should you listen to them talk about their problems?

If you have no idea how to help, don’t worry. There are plenty of ways to support a friend who is having a relationship crisis. If your friend is struggling in their relationship, here are the best ways to show them support in a positive and uplifting way.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

Here Are 5 Ways to Positively Support a Friend in Relationship Crisis

1. Accept that, ultimately, the choice is theirs to make

Let’s say you feel that your friend should leave their partner, and that everyone would be happier and better off. Don’t try to force that choice on them, no matter how strongly you feel about it. People make all kinds of decisions, and we can’t force their hand either way.

One of the best ways to support your friend when they’re going through a relationship crisis is to accept that the choice is theirs to make – whatever that choice may be. Of course, you don’t necessarily have to think it’s the right decision. The point is to support your friend, not try to control them.

2. Offer to be a listening ear to your friend’s problems

Meg Selig, an M.A. in counseling, considers that one of the best ways to be there for a friend is by listening to them. Their relationship crisis shouldn’t be a spectacle or entertainment. Having good listening skills means listening to what your friend has to say, and only what they want to share.

A friend in a relationship crisis may want to say very little, or they may want to go over every minute detail. Whatever your friend needs to say, be there. Listen. Focus less on trying to give advice, and more on providing a safe space so they can talk as much, or as little, as they need.

3. Show empathy with what they’re going through

When your friend is having a relationship crisis, empathy is one of the greatest ways you can support a friend in a positive way. Meg Selig suggests empathy as a strategy to support someone, without offering any advice that they might not need right now. Using empathy in this situation shows your friend that you understand how they’re feeling and that their emotions are valid. When you show empathy, they’re bound to feel supported and less alone.

4. Ask how you can help themfriend quote

Rushing in to help your friend who is having a relationship crisis might feel like the most logical course of action. First, however, you want to make sure that what you’re doing is actually helpful to them. After all, you wouldn’t want to do something that would make them feel worse or make their lives harder.

In order to positively support a friend who is having relationship troubles, you want to ask them what you can do. Not only will this show that you’re there for them and willing to help, but it will give them a chance to exercise some agency and autonomy over the situation.

5. Be there to help them make a plan of what to do next

When relationships start to falter, there’s pretty much only two ways they can go. Either your friend can plan to address all the issues, or they can plan to leave. Depending on what your friend chooses, the best way to support them is to help them make a plan on what to do next.

For example, if they want to try and work through the problems in their relationship, you can help them find a counselor or a therapist to work with them. If they want to end the relationship, you can offer resources or anything else they need. Don’t try to force them in one direction or the other; just be there to help them design a plan of action, whatever it is they choose.

Final thoughts

Relationship problems can be extremely rocky. During a relationship crisis, most people are at their most vulnerable. You want to be there for them without causing them any undue stress. If you truly consider these ways to support a friend facing a relational crisis, you will surely be a positive force when they need you the most.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201410/9-ways-be-there-friend-without-giving-advice

7 Ways to Stop Yourself from Overthinking

by

Picture a pot of water on the stove. Initially, the surface is calm, but tiny bubbles form at the bottom as the heat intensifies. Gradually, they rise, becoming more vigorous and numerous until the water is in a turbulent, boiling frenzy, threatening to spill over. Our minds, much like that pot, can become overwhelmed with thoughts. At first, these ruminations might be subtle and manageable but left unchecked, they can amplify, leading us to an agitated state of overthinking.

In these moments, we risk boiling over, clouding our judgment, and impairing our decision-making. In this article, we’ll explore seven effective strategies to turn down the heat, helping you find clarity and prevent the tumultuous boil of overthinking.

“Analysis Paralysis”

To overthink something is to allow the topic to linger for far too long in your mind. Often, the result is poor judgment, elevated stress, and inaction.

While it is crucial to think through something, regularly taking action is also critical. The inability to act cripples many of the world’s great minds, effectively rendering their brilliant and innovative ideas useless. These are the folks for whom the axiom, “You’re too smart for your own good,” was invented.

The term “analysis paralysis” describes perfectly – in just two words – the dangers of overthinking. When we overanalyze anything, we tend to stress out. As a result, the body releases the stress hormones epinephrine and cortisol. Because of the flood of stress hormones, we find it much more challenging to think clearly – sometimes, we just freeze up.

It isn’t an exaggeration to say that overthinking can ruin someone’s life. Ruminating on good or bad thoughts can halt someone from progressing and moving forward. This leads to underachievement, frustration, and even mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. Thus, it is critical that we halt the flood of seemingly never-ending thoughts, especially if they are negative.

Here are 7 ways to stop yourself from overthinking:

Here are some tips to help control those thoughts.

overthinking

1. Become Self-Aware of Your Overthinking

To stop any behavior, we must be aware that it is occurring in the first place. Overthinking is a flood of thoughts that can manifest as physical and mental symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, and lack of concentration. Whenever you notice a stream of disconnected or anxiety-inducing thoughts, cut them off.

2. Distract Yourself

When it comes to overthinking, distract yourself by actively disengaging from stressful thoughts. If you find it hard to get back into the swing of positive thinking, distract yourself by taking a break, reading, or playing a game.

3. Don’t Suppress Your Thoughts

Anyone with an anxiety disorder will tell you that thought suppression is counterproductive. The reason is simple: the brain thinks – that’s what it does. It isn’t unusual to have thoughts enter your head. In fact, you’re probably in trouble if you don’t! Don’t tense up and try to “steal” yourself from intrusive thoughts. Instead…

4. Become An Observer

Did you know that pointless rumination – dwelling on bad things – is the primary cause of anxiety and depression? (Which, by the way, are the first and second most common mental health conditions, respectively.)

Observing your thoughts is noticing the things that attempt to pull your attention away from the moment – and then bringing your attention back to your breath, work, or body. Notice that this is the opposite of thought suppression!

5. Set Reminders

Let’s not kid ourselves: stopping ourselves from overthinking is not an easy feat, as breaking entrenched habits of the brain requires effort. The mind will continue to operate in its “default” mode unless given other directions. In this regard, setting reminders is an excellent method for changing up your mental habits.

Schedule reminders on your computer’s calendar, or put a few Post-Its around your house and office with phrases like “Here and now!” “Where’s your head?” or, “Be an observer.” Repetition is the mother of all learning!

6. Forget About Being Perfect

Some people think that being a perfectionist would be great. It’s not. In fact, perfectionists tend to have higher rates of anxiety and lower quality of life. An inability to let go, continually second-guessing and comparing themselves, having unrealistic expectations, and always needing to be in control are just a few reasons why perfectionists have a harder time. Paying more attention to the process as opposed to the outcome is good advice for those with a perfectionist streak.

7. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

As mentioned, replacing habits of overthinking can be difficult. That said, it is vital to challenge your overthinking and build new thought processes. Mindfulness meditation may be the best antidote when it comes to any form of anxiety. Mindfulness meditation requires focusing on the present, most often through paying attention to your breathing.

You can find numerous smartphone apps and free online resources on mindfulness meditation. If you’re new to meditation, start out with five to ten minute session and slowly build up from there.

perfect moment

Final Thoughts on How You Can Stop Overthinking

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is to be patient. Understand that setbacks are part of changing any habit, including those of our brain.

Pay attention to the present moment. Slow down and focus your attention on what’s going on here and now. Don’t overthink the past or worry too much about the future.

After all, “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

Scientists Explain What Happens to Your Body When You Drink Matcha Tea Every Day

by

We’ve all heard of superfoods with benefits that might seem too good to be true. If you’re looking for a surge of health benefits, why not try a super tea with over six times as many antioxidants as a serving of Goji berries? And don’t worry, it’s not too good to be true. Everything good about Matcha tea is backed by science.

If you love tea, you know it can help you feel your best whether you’re going to work, getting things done around town, or simply trying to get through a rainy morning. You probably already have a favorite tea variety. But after you read about the health benefits of matcha tea, you just might have a new favorite.

What is this Matcha Tea?

Matcha tea is technically another form of green tea.However, it’s also quite different from your average cup. In Japanese, “ma” means powder and “cha” means tea. You guessed it, matcha tea is a powder made from green tea leaves that can be added to water like any other cup of tea. However, since you are directly ingesting the powdered leaves instead of just an infusion (which boils away some of the nutrients), you’ll experience more of the positive health benefits matcha tea has to offer. Here are just a few reasons why drinking this super tea as a part of your daily routine will help you to be your healthiest!

1. Matcha tea contains more nutrients than other types of tea.

Since matcha tea is not heated in boiling water like other teas, it retains many of the nutrients that naturally occur in tea leaves. Just a few of the important vitamins and other nutrients it contains are epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG, which is the key to many of this tea’s benefits as we’ll find out), vitamin C, selenium, chromium, zinc, and magnesium.

It’s not just full of nutrients, contains more of them than any other tea. Compared to regular green tea, powdered green tea contains 32 times as much vitamin C, twice as much caffeine, and 4 times as much of the stress-reducing amino acid L-theanine.

2. Matcha tea helps you maintain healthy skin.

You already know that when your skin looks great, you feel great. You can find endless lists of foods NOT to eat in order to have healthy skin, but matcha is on the list of the best foods for better skin. In a study published by the Medical College of Georgia, the EGCG found in green tea rejuvenated surface skin cells that would otherwise die. This is why some people use it directly on their faces! This rejuvenating power could keep your skin looking fresh–and possibly younger!

Some researchers believe that it can even fight off skin cancer. The National Cancer Institute says that the antioxidant powers found in tea are part of the reason this may be true. Catechins such as EGCG are a type of polyphenol, which may help protect your skin from potentially cancer-causing UVB radiation.

3. Matcha tea is full of antioxidants.

Free radicals are created when your body burns energy, and they have the potential to damage your body’s cells or DNA. Antioxidants such as vitamin C and the trace element selenium neutralize these free radicals and stop cell damage. Your body doesn’t make these antioxidants on its own, so it’s important to get them from your diet. This overachieving tea contains as many antioxidants as ten cups of regular green tea, so drink up!

When illnesses like the common cold or the flu start getting you down, antioxidants boost your immune system and help your body fight back. With a super tea to help you fight off sickness, you’ll take less time off.Plus, you won’t need as long to get back to doing the things you love.

4. Matcha tea helps you keep a healthy weight.

weight loss

We all need a little extra encouragement when it comes to dieting! If you’re trying to lose weight, this tea may be able to help you by increasing your metabolism. The amino acid EGCG is the main metabolism booster in matcha, and it increases the production of leptin, the hormone that makes you feel full. Experts suggest drinking one to three cups a day along with a healthy diet to maximize your weight loss.

It also helps you to burn fat. If you exercise right after your cup of tea, you could burn up to 25% more fat than you would have burned otherwise!

5. Matcha tea helps with mental alertness.

You probably already reach for a cup of coffee or tea when you’re in a slump (I sure do!). But when you reach for matcha tea the next time you’re struggling to stay awake at work, you’ll be surprised what it can do for your alertness! It contains an amino acid called L-theanine in much higher concentrations than other teas. L-theanine helps your brain to focus and be alert without causing the stress or elevated heart rate a more caffeine-heavy beverage would cause.

It does this by producing alpha waves in your brain. These occur when you are relaxed, focused, or feeling creative. In other words, a meditative state. No wonder the Zen Buddhist monks of Japan considered it to be such a valuable beverage!

Don’t let all those calming effects fool you, though. It also contains caffeine, but it is released over a longer period of time than with coffee. It also works with another stimulant called theophylline which increases blood flow to the brain. This helps you stay alert longer without the crash. Paired with matcha’s mood-boosting effects, a quick cup will help you stay focused and positive at any time of the day!

Final Thoughts

There are so many reasons to “go green” and drink matcha every day! Not only does this tea help your body work at its best, but you’ll also see a difference in your mental focus. So don’t be afraid to try that green powder. Your body and your brain will thank you, and you just might feel like a whole new person!

10 Truths No One Tells You About Long-Term Relationships (And Why So Many End)

by

Long-term relationships, or LTR’s, are what many of us search for. But they’re something few of us can sustain in the long run. It often seems there’s a secret to getting through the rough patches of a marriage or LTR once the honeymoon phase is long gone. Even in the case of true love, we find that there is far more involved in learning how to get love to last for the long term.

Most people struggling to keep a positive relationship afloat face the trouble of failing to understand that no long term relationships are perfect. All romantic relationships require consistent work, no matter how well-matched two partners may be. For those of us wondering how to make it through those rough patches, it helps to know the basic truth about long-term romances. Read on to see what truths most people have to learn about making it work the hard way.

The Secret to Making Long Term Relationships Work

traits in long-term relationships

1. It’s Perfectly Normal to Question Your LTR

“When true love finds you, you’ll know”. That is the common misconception that ruins so many good relationships. It’s part of human nature to ask questions. So it makes perfect sense that you may have a little doubt about whether or not you should be with your significant other. When the doubt creeps in every now and then, know that it is healthy. However, if you have persistent doubts that are difficult to shake, it may be time to address those concerns with your significant other.

2. You’ll Be Attracted to Other People and Even Tempted

Being in love doesn’t automatically shut down what makes you attracted to other people. Though your happiness may be true, it won’t prevent temptation from creeping in. It is common for people in a LTR to be attracted to others and even develop a crush from time to time. Keep your eyes open and be honest with yourself and your lover. By firmly establishing yourself as committed to your partner, you will be ready to fight whatever temptation comes your way.

3. You May Get “Bored” In Your LTR

When you think about all the adventurous antics of your single days, the steady, day-to-day sameness of your romantic life can seem boring. This is one of the biggest secrets of long-term life. Your romantic partnership will be boring more often than not. It’s no surprise that a new romantic interest’s heightened excitement, lust, and passion is seemingly more interesting than the same person over 15 years. Still, there is much more to a romance than escaping boredom. As you work towards strengthening your relationship, you’ll realize that your focus is on building a positive future, rather than reveling in the constant uncertainty that short-term flings provide. With the right person, you will find happiness and excitement throughout your daily lives.

4. Vulnerability is Best

The best experience in a LTR is truly being known and loved anyway. The truly vulnerable moments where you and your SO know each other’s deepest identities can only be experienced in a romance. Getting this close to someone can be scary. But it’s the only way to deepen your LTR and make it last.

5. Find Ways to Be Independent in Your Long Term Relationships

A new lover can feel like a whirlwind, making you want to stay with your loved one every waking moment. However, as your LTR wears on, you’ll realize the need for your interests and space. Keep your other hobbies alive and well, making them a regular part of your life. By nourishing these outside interests, you’ll be able to keep your romance from being stifled or getting jealous when your significant other is spending time with their own hobbies.

6. Forgiveness is Key

Two people in a relationship are bound to offend and even hurt one another at times, no matter how positive they try to be. When this happens, it’s important to always communicate with your significant other about how you feel and what you would like to change. Once things are discussed, it is important to exercise forgiveness and move past any hurt feelings.

7. Your Sex Drive Will Change During Your Romantic Life

Dry spells in one’s sex life can happen to anyone. Be sure to be open with your partner about your sexual desires and anything that may have recently changed for you. The secret to sexual desire in a romance is that it must be worked at regularly.

8. Going to Bed Angry Isn’t as Bad as You Think

While you may want to work out arguments as soon as possible, sometimes forcing a reconciliation is not practical. At the end of the day, both partners are probably very tired and not in a positive place to solve a conflict. Get a good night’s rest and work towards figuring the problems out in the morning.

9. Your Partner’s Unique Quirks May Aggravate You One Day

As you get to know your SO, what you may have thought was a positive quirk may turn into an annoying aggravation one day. While these quirks may become irritating, it is unfair to expect your partner to change. Try to be open with your lover about what you’re experiencing. But at the end of the day, try to value your significant other for what you do like about them.

10. Sharing the Bathroom Won’t Kill the Romance

In new romances, sharing the bathroom with your SO can be terrifying. Despite trying to hide your bathroom behavior from your lover, there will come a time when you both will need to share the same bathroom. As you truly get to know your significant other, sharing a bathroom will be another intimacy between you.

Why So Many Relationships End

difficult times in relationships

The truth about long term relationships will help you navigate your romance better, but it’s also important to determine why so many long-term romances fizzle out.

1. Trust Issues

A lack of trust in one’s SO has been the number one downfall in relationships. No relationship will have a strong bond if the partners cannot fully trust one another. In such situations, possessiveness, jealousy, infidelity, and the like, can run amok, ruining whatever chance you may have had to keep your long-term relationship going.

2. Varied Expectations

When considering the truths of the reality of our daily lives, couples’ expectations may differ. What one lover may have hoped for their future may end up being totally different than their significant others. When it comes to the LTR itself, many couples will find that they view each other differently. One half of a couple may have had marriage on their mind while the other was simply looking for a short-term situation.

3. Incompatibility

Compatibility can be found at several stages in a relationship. Whether you’re considering your personality types, styles of intimacy, or intellect levels, it is important to find a SO that you match well with. On their way to a long-term journey, many couples find that they are much less compatible than they initially imagined.

4. Boredom and Growing Apart

Couples in relatively new romances should be focused on getting to know each other further. If it feels that you both have grown apart before you’ve truly even started building a LTR, likely, the pairing will not last. While boredom will find its way into any partnership. But it is sometimes too much to handle. As a result, couples do grow apart.

long-term relationships

Final Thoughts on Better Long-Term Relationships

Strong relationships are built over time and maintained through the dedication of both partners. Not every couple is meant to last. So it’s important to acknowledge that if things aren’t working out, no matter how hard you both try. As you work towards understanding the ten truths of any LTR. and why so many don’t work out, you’ll realize that staying together is far from easy. However, if you and your lover are firmly committed to growing your love and furthering each other’s happiness, you’ll be able to keep things together. And that means through the good and the bad.

footer-logo.svg

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

  • Copyright Power of Positivity 2025

Quote Remedy — Positive Energy+ — Faith Remedy

Like-img.png
Twt-img.png
Skip to content