Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Harvard Explains How Geoengineering Might Slow Down Climate Change

New research by Harvard shows how geoengineering may be one of the most promising climate change solutions and keep the worst effects of climate change at bay. Scientists already know that solar geoengineering can help minimize climate risks. This involves putting aerosols into the atmosphere, which then reflect sunlight and reduce global warming.

There are two main types of geoengineering: carbon dioxide removal and solar radiation modification. Carbon dioxide removal, otherwise known as carbon capture, uses giant machines that suck greenhouse gases out of the atmosphere. While the technology was first discovered in the 1970s, it’s much more effective today.

Politicians and climate scientists alike applaud carbon capture, but it’s costly, unfortunately. However, scientists have begun working on economic ways to utilize the technology.

While carbon capture is pretty straightforward, solar radiation modification is a bit more complicated. Also known as solar geoengineering, this method reflects sunlight away from Earth’s surface. In this way, surface albedo increases, or the amount of sunlight reflected by Earth’s surface. By increasing the planet’s surface reflectivity, scientists can use solar geoengineering to deflect sunlight and cool the planet.

Bright surfaces such as snow and ice reflect most of the sun’s rays. However, scientists have to rely on geoengineering to reduce global temperatures with the ice sheets melting rapidly.

Some common forms of solar geoengineering include:geoengineering

  • Marine cloud brightening
  • Cirrus cloud thinning
  • Space-based techniques
  • Stratospheric aerosol intervention

While these methods can’t eliminate climate change, they can slow it down considerably. Not to mention, scientists worldwide have begun to explore other options as well. When it comes to geoengineering, much of the research has centered around reducing physical climate changes. However, not many studies have investigated how solar geoengineering could impact the ecosystem, especially agriculture.

How geoengineering may slow down climate change

So, researchers from the Harvard John A. Paulson School of Engineering and Applied Sciences (SEAS) decided to find out. They discovered that, surprisingly, solar geoengineering might help alleviate some of the worst effects of global warming on crops.

Harvard researchers also collaborated with the following organizations:

  • Norwegian Research Centre and the Bjerknes Centre for Climate Research;
  • Norwegian University of Science and Technology;
  • National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder;
  • Seoul National University; and
  • Chinese Academy of Sciences.

The research was published May 20, 2021, in Nature Food.

“Research on solar geoengineering must address whether or not it is effective at reducing human impacts of climate change,” said David Keith, the Professor of Applied Physics at SEAS and Professor of Public Policy at the Harvard Kennedy School. “Our paper helps fill that gap by using the best crop model yet embedded in a climate model to examine the potential impact of solar geoengineering on agricultural yields.”

For the study, researchers analyzed three types of solar engineering. They focused on stratospheric aerosol injection, marine sky brightening, and cirrus cloud thinning and how they impacted crops. Specifically, they studied how they affected global yields of maize, sugarcane, wheat, rice, soy, and cotton.

The team assumed a business-as-usual future, where emissions remained as they are today. In this scenario, the best way to protect crops from climate disasters would be to lower the surface temperature. Researchers found that all three solar geoengineering methods listed above would cool the atmosphere enough to benefit crop yields.

Prior research suggested that lowering temperatures using stratospheric aerosol injection may also reduce rainfall rates. This would lead to lower yields of rainfed crops. However, these studies didn’t consider a crucial ecological factor in crop productivity and transpiration – humidity.

Humidity plays an important role in crop success.

“Relative humidity or vapor pressure deficit has stronger control on plant water use and crop productivity than precipitation,” said Yuanchao Fan, a Fellow in the Harvard Solar Geoengineering Research Program and first author of the paper. “We found that in a cooler world under multiple scenarios, except cirrus cloud thinning, there will be higher relative humidity, which will alleviate water stress for rainfed crops. Our model shows that the change in precipitation resulting from all three solar geoengineering methods would, in fact, have minimal effect on crops.”

Next, the team compared how solar geoengineering and emissions reductions affect agricultural productivity. They discovered that emissions reductions do increase cooling and humidity. However, this wouldn’t benefit crop yields as much as geoengineering. The reduction of CO2 fertilization reduces the productivity of most crops, compared with geoengineering which equally reduces temperatures.

The study says:

“Overall, global yields increase ~10% under the three SGs and decrease 5% under emissions reduction.”

This discovery shows that other tools should be utilized along with emissions reductions. Increasing nitrogen fertilization and making changes to land use would help mitigate climate risks as well.

“Climate risks cannot be resolved with any single tool; even if emissions were eliminated tomorrow, the world’s most vulnerable would still suffer from climate change,” said Keith. “Policymakers need to consider how emissions cuts might be supplemented by specific local adaptations to help farmers reduce the impacts of climate on agriculture, and by global actions such as carbon removal and solar geoengineering.”

Co-authors of the research include Jerry Tjiputra, Helene Muri, Danica Lombardozzi, Chang-Eui Park, and Shengjun Wu. Harvard University’s Solar Geoengineering Research Program helped support the research in part.

polluted airFinal thoughts on research showing how geoengineering may slow down climate change

Climate change and global warming have become major topics of discussion in recent years. If you look around, it’s clear that our climate is undergoing rapid change. Hurricanes have become stronger, wildfires are raging out of control, and deadly heatwaves are rising. In a warming world, crops have a harder time growing as well. However, geoengineering might save the day.

New research shows that solar geoengineering, specifically, could increase crop yields by about 10%. By cooling the atmosphere with aerosols, it decreases heat stress on plants. This means that, hopefully, we’ve dodged a huge bullet when it comes to climate change. As the world population continues to grow, we must find effective ways to feed everyone, even in a warming world.

8 Reasons Living Together Before Marriage Strengthens Relationships

Did you know that roughly 8.5 million unmarried couples live together in the United States?

According to the US Census, many people believe living together before marriage is better than facing divorce later. Is taking a trial run on a longstanding commitment acceptable to navigate long-term relationships?

Countless couples have pondered the same question in the past few years. During the 1950s and earlier, the rare unmarried couples who lived together didn’t discuss it. Cohabitation is widely practiced and acceptable for most people in today’s culture.

Considerations Before Couples Try Living Together

living together

However, you and your partner have several things to consider before you share a place. It’s a big move that shouldn’t be taken lightly. As you discuss the possibilities, be transparent about your intentions, so you’re both in sync.

Many people choose this option to see if they can cohabitate peacefully. What if living together is a tactic that one or both of you use to put marriage off? This is an issue worth exploring.

Before making this crucial decision, the first step is to be completely honest during your conversation. According to the Pew Research Center statistics, at least 53 percent of couples shared a home before marriage. Neither of you wants to base this move on misleading expectations.

What if one of you dreams of walking down the aisle one day while the other person has no desire to make such a formal commitment? Perhaps, one of you has already talked to a wedding planner and has a detailed itinerary of the big day. However, one of you might not be that far in the relationship, or maybe you don’t even consider marriage an option.

It’s a serious topic that you both can’t afford to ignore. Sharing your thoughts and expectations now may nix major issues and misunderstandings in the future. Perhaps your shared vision is to get married one day, but you do not know when or how soon this day will come.

The Benefits of Living Together Before Marriage

Every decision you make has positives and negatives, including cohabitating before marriage. You may be in a hurry to give your partner their house key, but they might not be as eager to accept it. Here are eight positive reasons for you to consider.

You Get the Adjustment Period Out of The Way

It’s not easy for two people to live together, even if they are madly in love. Remember the stresses you had living at home with your parents and siblings. You also probably had difficulties adjusting to sharing a college dorm with a roommate. The same adjustment period will happen with the one you love.

Consider that love is blind, and it takes time to know someone. For now, you may ignore some of your lover’s annoying habits. The relationship is new, and you are too infatuated to concentrate on anything negative.

It will be even more apparent if you’re living together before marriage. Each of you will get a true sense of how the other lives and functions. The time you have cohabitating will help you get used to each other’s quirks. So, there are no surprises after the nuptials.

There may be some mild confrontations over simple things like leaving the toilet seat up or letting dirty dishes stack up in the sink. Soon, you will learn one another’s habits and make compromises as needed. Many people think living together before marriage makes the process a little easier.

2. Mutually Beneficial for Finances

Maybe one of the reasons you are thinking of moving in with your lover is finances. Whether you rent or own your place, running a household takes a lot of money. According to an article by The Nest, the average household expenses in America are approximately $60,060 a year.

The article also states that the median American income is about $73,573. If you lived alone, you’d only have about $13,515 for other living expenses. Of course, you may make more or less than this average. It only makes sense that cohabitating would be mutually beneficial.

3. You Have the Chance to Build Stronger Bonds

Dating is a way for a couple to test their compatibility. The more time you spend together, the more you see how the other person ticks. It’s also a crucial time for bonding. Living in the same house may prove that you can sustain your commitment.

4. It’s Easier to Move Out Rather Than Divorce

If you find out that the person you love isn’t the person you can spend the rest of your life with, it’s better to find out before you’re married. Once you tie the knot, it’s a very costly process to get a divorce.

5. You See How Life Will Be as A Couple

The one you love may be great in a relationship, but when you cohabitate, everything can change. You will see all the little quirks that can drive you mad when it’s in your space. You get a preview of married life when you share a space first.

pop meme6. Intimacy Is Easier

Soon, you go from infatuation to an intimate attachment, and it’s not just about that physical bond. You learn to be intimate with your mate emotionally and spiritually, as these are part of a commitment. Plus, it’s more challenging to have intimate moments when you don’t share a dwelling.

7. Your Friends Will See You as A Couple

Once you share a space, your friends and family will see your commitment level to one another as a bit deeper. They will look at you as a couple rather than just two dating people.

8. You Can Share Responsibilities

It takes a lot of effort to run a household, and you can have help. Having someone take the trash out or wash the dishes can significantly relieve. The shared responsibilities allow you more time to focus on the one you love.

Once you’ve decided that it is the right decision to move in with your partner, seek help from local movers to make the move easier.

The Downsides of Cohabitation

Even the most loving and committed couples have disagreements. If you live in the same household, it’s a little challenging to put some distance between you and your partner. There are also a few other cons to consider before you move into your lover’s place.

1. Differences of Opinion in Finances

You may be one of the lucky ones who finds a mate with the same financial personality. Usually, one partner is a spender, and the other is a saver. While most couples can compromise, economic arguments can spoil a relationship quickly.

As housemates, you’ll find out how your financial negotiations will go before you’re married. You may butt heads about how bills and other financial obligations are split. While it may be 50/50 when you only live together, you’ll be fully vested as a spouse.

It’s better to find out if someone is a miser or a spendthrift before you tie the knot. An article published by Couple Family Psychology states that financial issues are among the top reasons people in America divorce. Moving out is much easier than a painful divorce if you discover you’re financially incompatible while cohabiting.

2. Lack of Family Support

Many religious and cultural groups consider living together before marriage immoral. According to an article published by Unmarried Equality, there are still four states that criminalize cohabitation. However, a few states consider couples married after sharing a home for several years. This is called a common-law marriage.

Although most people don’t mind unmarried couples sharing a home, some believe it’s immoral or sinful. It could be stressful if you and your person have decided to move in together and either side of the family objects. These family members cannot only reject your living arrangements, but they can also be unsupportive of your relationship.

When there’s a conflict with either side, it usually trickles into the couple’s relationship. You may need to bite your tongue to keep from causing issues within the family, but you try to stay civil. It’s also stressful when you constantly defend your mate from your family.

While the objections may be over your living situation, you may see a side of their family or friends that you don’t like. It’s something to think about, because they may not change their attitudes once you decide to get married.

Will Living Together Strengthen Your Marriage?

There aren’t any definitive answers to this question because of all the variables involved. A study published by the Journal of Marriage and Family concludes that there’s no substantial evidence that cohabitation before marriage can minimize divorce risks. It also found that there wasn’t much difference in marital satisfaction rate between those who live together and those who wait.

living togetherFinal Thoughts on Living Together Before Marriage

Deciding to share space is a big commitment between two people. While some still frown on cohabitation before marriage, it’s becoming normal. Folks have discovered that moving out is much easier and more cost-effective than filing for divorce.

However, some folks still believe you should have a piece of paper and a ring before you live together. Making such a move has both positives and negatives, and you will have to decide what works for you and your spouse.

15 Positive Statements to Help You Avoid Confrontations with Toxic People

It is impossible to avoid toxic people all the time, no matter how hard you try. You may have to work with them, or they might be a part of your family. Plus, you will regularly encounter toxic people in public places such as the grocery store or gas station. Since you can’t wholly avoid toxic people, the next best option is to avoid confrontations with them.

This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You can’t change other people, but you can change the things that you say or the way you react to toxic people.

Responding negatively to a toxic person will only make the situation worse, and it usually causes confrontations. Instead, use positive statements to help you avoid unnecessary conflict. Using positivity, you will notice that things go smoother and that you feel better afterward.

Positive statements can change the tone of a conversation and steer it in a better direction. These statements can also influence positivity in the toxic person, at least for the time being. You can also use positive statements to set and enforce boundaries.

How to Recognize Toxic People

confrontationsRecognizing a toxic person is the first step to avoiding confrontations with them. While they don’t all have the same characteristics, they will likely have similarities.

You may notice that they exhibit some of these characteristics:

  • don’t take responsibility for their mistakes
  • are manipulative
  • don’t apologize
  • are judgmental
  • don’t support you
  • are dishonest
  • tend to be inconsistent
  • are unreliable
  • often think of their desires above the needs of others

Fifteen Positive Statements to Help You Avoid Confrontations with Toxic People

Keep these phrases handy for the next encounter with a toxic person.

1. “I noticed you’re upset today. I hope everything is okay.”

When you point this out to them, they’ll see that you don’t want conflict. Plus, they will appreciate that you recognize their bad mood. By saying this, you are reducing the risk of confrontation.

If you have to work with the toxic person all day, this will help you get through the day. Let them know that you’re there if they need to vent, too. Then, if they do come to you, it won’t be for confrontation but support.

2. “I’m not comfortable with this. Let’s talk about something else.”

Even if you are a little uncomfortable saying this statement, it is essential. Otherwise, the conversation will continue, and confrontation may follow. Let the person know that you don’t want to discuss that topic any longer.

Please don’t leave it at that, however. Suggest talking about something else, and then take control of the conversation and be positive. Sway the conversation to a topic that is neutral and safe for the both of you.

3. “I can tell you’re having a hard time.  You should take a break.”

Everyone appreciates it when someone notices their feelings and their mood, even toxic people. Start by acknowledging their feelings, and then suggest a break. They might not have even realized they were poisonous, so your comment will help with that, too.

After a break, they may come back in a better mood. If their perspective isn’t better, at least they may not cause conflict with you. Plus, at the very least, they will see that you care.

4. “I want to continue this conversation, but I’m running late. Let’s finish it over e-mail.”

If possible, politely remove yourself from the conversation. While it might be necessary to finish the conversation, you can avoid toxic confrontation by doing it by email.

Since it’s harder to spread toxicity through an e-mail, it could be the perfect communication method. If the other person still makes toxic remarks in an e-mail, it’ll be easier to handle. E-mail may not be the most direct option, but it could help you avoid confrontation.

5. “Tell me what I can do to cheer you up.”

No one can be made at the person who is trying to cheer them up. At least that is what you can hope for, and it increases your chances of avoiding conflict. This statement shows that you care, and even if the toxic person doesn’t show it, they likely appreciate it.

6. “Let’s talk about something more exciting.”

Changing the subject could be a great option to avoid confrontation. If you feel that the conversation is taking a negative turn or may lead to conflict, request a more exciting topic. Get your minds off the potential problem, and get the toxic person talking about something happier.

7. “We should each say three good things that happened today.”

Changing the conversation to something positive is a great move, as explained before. Even better, change the topic to good things that happened during the current day. This will help both of you perk up a little and be more positive.

It is hard to continue being toxic while talking about positive things that have happened recently. Plus, it is hard to have a confrontation with someone you just had a positive conversation with. Remember this positive statement anytime you sense the tension.

pop meme8. “Tell me about your favorite things and hobbies.”

Get toxic people talking about themselves and the things they love. This will help you avoid confrontation because toxic people tend to love talking about themselves. Even if they don’t love talking about themselves, though, it’ll still distract them for a while.

9. “I don’t want to debate this. There are plenty of more positive things to discuss.”

It can be hard to say this, but it is essential to your well-being. By speaking this statement, not only will you be avoiding confrontation, but you will be setting boundaries. It can help prevent conflict or toxic behavior toward you in the future, too.

By adding that there are positive things to discuss, you will avoid offending the person. They will realize that you still want to talk to them, which can further prevent confrontation.

10. “You have so much to do. Let me help you.”

By acknowledging how much the person has to deal with, they will be appreciative. Plus, if you offer to help them, they can’t justify mistreating you or making rude comments. Everyone needs a break once in a while, even toxic people.

11. “I understand how you feel.”

Being empathetic is always an excellent way to avoid confrontation. Everyone desires to be understood, and they will see that you are trying to see things their way.

12. “You are good at what you do.”

When people feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to be positive. Tell the toxic person that they are good at what they do and help the situation. If you can, give specific examples of how you know they are talented.

13. “Thank you for your input. I’ll keep it in mind.”

This statement leaves little more for the other person to say. It lets them know that you heard them without causing conflict. Even if you didn’t appreciate their input, thanking them will make things go smoother.

Usually, people want to be heard. You don’t have to go with what they suggested, and this statement will end the conversation about it.

14. “You’re right. I agree.”

Only use this simple positive statement if it is true. If you disagree, you might set yourself up for further problems. On the other hand, if you do agree, make sure they know it.

By letting them know that you agree, they will feel understood. If you don’t acknowledge this, they might think you don’t agree or don’t care, and it can cause conflict. Be clear right upfront to prevent any potential problems.

15. “Even though we disagree, it is okay. I respect your opinion, either way.”

Since you shouldn’t agree with someone if you don’t genuinely agree, use this one when you disagree. Acknowledge that it is okay if you disagree and that you still respect them.

This positive statement also implies that you expect the same respect from them. It can prevent them from starting an argument or having a conflict with you.

Then, you can both go about the day without arguing or having tension between you. There won’t be much more to say or discuss on the topic if you finish it with this positive statement.

confrontationsFinal Thoughts on Trying These Fifteen Positive Statements to Help You Avoid Confrontations

Since it is impossible to avoid toxic people altogether, you must learn to avoid confrontations. Of course, there will be times when this isn’t possible, but you can reduce the amount of conflict you experience.

These positive statements will help you avoid unnecessary conflict and set boundaries. By lightening the mood, changing the subject, or being firm (but positive), you can change the conversation’s tone. You may even change the toxic person’s mood for a while, allowing them to experience a little positivity.

You don’t deserve to deal with negativity and toxicity from anyone, and you don’t have to. Always remember that positivity will get you farther than negativity, though. Speak up using these positive statements, and you will be avoiding confrontations while staying cheerful and kind.

Inspiring Woman Loses Over 130 Pounds in a Remarkable Transformation

Kassidy Riekens, an inspiring woman and mom of three, has lost over 130 pounds since beginning her health journey in May 2015. After having her first daughter, Kassidy got inspired to lose the baby weight and feel better in her skin. She weighed 260 pounds at the time and felt uncomfortable carrying around that extra weight after giving birth. Saying she “never wanted to feel like that again,” she started meal prepping and hitting the gym.

However, her struggles with weight and body image began much earlier in her life. In high school, Kassidy weighed only 107 pounds, working out excessively, and eating very little to maintain her weight. Of course, after high school, life got a lot busier, and she didn’t have as much time to devote to working out. She gained around 100 pounds by the age of 21 from drinking heavily and falling into unhealthy eating patterns.

Kassidy didn’t feel right about her body and even found that her mindset had become cynical and pessimistic. She didn’t like who she had become. But she found it challenging to give up unhealthy eating habits. She ate junk food most days and didn’t exercise, and when she got pregnant, Kassidy kept up those familiar habits. However, on the day she delivered her daughter, she knew something had to change.

“I remember how I felt that day. I was physically so large I could barely move. Not only from the pregnancy but from how much weight I had gained from the excessive eating. I told myself that day that I would change. I would lose all of the weight, plus more, and I would become the best me I could be. And that is exactly what I did.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by K a s s i d y R i e k e n s (@dilla7) on

The start the journey of this inspiring woman

“Two weeks after Harley was born, I started meal prepping. I didn’t know what I was doing or where to begin, but I tried. 6 weeks later, I started working out. I had no proper work out program or much help, but I tried. I got a gym membership, researched workouts, asked for help, and did the best that I could. The weight started falling off, which motivated me and kept me focused,” she said on her website.

This time around, Kassidy wanted to focus on becoming more robust and healthier, not just skinnier. Instead of spending hours at the gym and eating very little, she wanted to develop healthy relationships with the gym and food. So, she chose workouts that would challenge her mentally. She said that HIIT, weight training, and the stair master were crucial in losing 130 pounds.

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by K a s s i d y R i e k e n s (@dilla7) on

As far as diet, Kassidy said intuitive eating works best for her rather than counting macros or calories. She enjoys taking typically unhealthy foods such as BBQ and making them both tasty and nutritious. She scours the Internet each week looking for healthy recipes and relies on meal prepping to stay on track.

With her newfound healthy lifestyle, she says her most significant obstacle is her rheumatoid arthritis. Diagnosed in 2017, Kassidy often feels excruciating pain in the joints throughout her body due to chronic inflammation. She says some days it hurts so badly that she can’t even get out of bed, walk, or hold her babies. However, the inspiring young woman didn’t let that keep her from her goals.

She modified exercises at the gym so that they wouldn’t cause her as much pain. Or, she moved on to a different activity that her body would tolerate better. Kassidy researched the best cardio and weight training exercises for people with arthritis to ensure she didn’t suffer an injury. Meal prepping, working out, and taking care of her two young girls became her life.

This inspiring woman is balancing a wellness journey with parenting

Although, raising two kids and trying to keep a workout regimen don’t always go hand-in-hand. Kassidy said she had to drop her kids off with a babysitter pretty much every day to get a workout in. She’d drive 30 minutes out of town to the babysitter’s house, then go back into town to her local gym. That equates to two hours of driving back and forth each day, but that didn’t stop her from reaching her goals, either.

Kassidy has a strong work ethic, but just like everyone, she doesn’t feel the motivation some days. However, she says it comes down to willpower and building healthy habits. Whether she feels like it or not, she follows her meal plan and goes to the gym, as the habits have become second nature. She loves seeing results and being able to buy new outfits, but doesn’t limit her success to just motivation.

She says it gets easier over time the more you practice healthier lifestyle habits. For example, Kassidy says she gained 70 pounds back during her second pregnancy but knew how to get back on track. Having lost 130 pounds the first time, she knew that hard work and dedication would get her where she needed to be. So, she began the grueling tasks of meal prepping and hitting the gym, losing over 80 pounds this time.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by K a s s i d y R i e k e n s (@dilla7) on

Her combined weight loss efforts now total of 210 pounds. Kassidy proves that anyone, even busy moms, can lose weight and feel more comfortable in their own skin. After her story reached multiple news outlets, Kassidy felt inspired that she could help motivate people all over the world. Her passion for fitness and helping others led her to get a license as a personal trainer and health coach. “My goal as a Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach is to help all of my clients strive to be the best version of themselves,” she said.

Kassidy says that by sharing her story with others online, it keeps her motivated to stay on track. “It’s funny how I share so much stuff on social media to help other women, but those women don’t realize how much they’re actually helping me,” she said. She’s now an online health coach at Kassthetics, selling nutrition and workout plans to clients. After getting into the best shape of her life, this inspiring woman wanted to help others do the same, too.

3 Ways Your Personality Can Be Interfering With Your Life (And How To Fix It)

Your personality is ingrained in your being. It’s in the way you act, think, speak, and behave. As such, it can be hard to imagine it being any different, even if some of it is actively harming you.

But must you live forever by the personality traits you’ve had for years? What if that ends up being a negative point in your life? Here are three ways your personality is interfering with your life and how to fix it.

Three Ways Your Personality Is Interfering With Your Life

Are you doing any of these things?

1.    You’re Self-Focused

A lot of the worst ways a personality can affect you are by making you selfish and self-centered. This can lead to many different problems related to your relationships, your career, and the way you experience life. Many people make the mistake of viewing selfishness as an undeniable trait, but being self-focused can be subtle. Here are some examples of self-focused behavior and how it may be affecting you:

your personality·         You Think Of Yourself As A Victim

Whenever bad things happen to you, you overemphasize them, thinking of them attacking you directly. While this makes sense for situations where you were genuinely treated poorly in a targeted way, it can be harmful to think of yourself this way in many other cases. A victim-focused mindset can prevent you from taking responsibility for your actions. It can even make you focus on yourself to the point of invalidating others, thus damaging your relationships.

·         You Want Things To Go Your Way

You can’t control everything, and you certainly can’t control other people. But to demand everything to go your way all the time is to set yourself up for a constant state of dissatisfaction. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and spending energy trying to make it do so is only going to waste your time and make you unpleasant to be around.

·         You Define Life By Your Views

The world around you is filled with different people. There are diverse cultures, religions, opinions, world views, and philosophies held by everyone. To define all of the worlds by the way you see them and insist that others should see things your way means narrowing your worldview, stunting your growth, and alienating others.

2.    You Define Yourself By Your Traits

If you define yourself by specific personality traits, you may find it difficult to break free from them and explore new ones. This goes all the way back to childhood, too, according to research. The terms we’ve learned to associate with ourselves, even the most positive ones, begin to dictate how we view ourselves, trapping us in a mindset that these terms are set in stone.

But your personality, your beliefs, your capabilities, and your habits are all malleable. While there are parts of you that will remain integral to who you are, there are many things that you can shift. For example, you’ve been called reliable all your life, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn to be spontaneous, too. You define yourself as an introvert, but that doesn’t mean you can’t better your social skills. You’ve been an angry person for decades, but you don’t have to be. Unfortunately, if you stick by these definitions, you’ll never know what else you could be.

3.    You Don’t Grow

Without personal growth, you’ll never reach your full potential. Often, certain personality traits get in the way of your ability to grow. Here are some ways this may happen:

·         You Feel Like You Need Always To Be Right

No one human being is capable of being right all the time. Your desire to fill this role, often to avoid criticism, will prevent you from learning from your mistakes and correcting yourself after you’ve been wrong. You will never succeed in being right all the time, so why not embrace your wrongs and learn from them?

·         You Don’t Leave Your Comfort Zone

Feeling anxious about leaving the space you’re familiar with is reasonable, but it’s relatively apparent how that stunts your growth. That kind of fear makes it hard for you to expand beyond the reaches of what you know, keeping you trapped.

·         You Focus On The Negative

Bad things happen, and yes, they suck! But focusing too much on these things will rob you of positive thinking, making you a complaining pessimist – and it’s optimists who do well in life. Optimists find ways to learn from bad things while pessimists get stuck in a “woe is me” attitude.

How To Fix A Personality That Is Interfering With Your Life

If you are engaging in any harmful behaviors, here are a few ways to move forward.

1.    Set Goals For Your Personality

Goal-setting is one of the most positive ways to begin enacting any significant change in your life. Your personality is a huge thing to work on changing, and without goals, you may become overwhelmed or lack any sense of direction when it comes to getting your efforts going. Here are some tips for setting these goals:

·         Imagine What Your Ideal Self Would Be Like

Think about the traits you would want to have to make yourself the best version of yourself. This will help you see what qualities you’d like to learn to incorporate as you set your goals.

·         Seek Inspiration

Think about people that you look up to and admire and ask yourself why you admire them. What traits of theirs do you like, and how many of them would you like to cultivate? This can be related to people you know personally, but it can also be celebrities, athletes, or even ordinary individuals who you’ve heard of in passing. You can watch videos about inspiring people or read autobiographies and biographies to find more reasons to be inspired!

·         Make Plans

How exactly do you plan to achieve your personality goals? What steps can you take to get there? Do some brainstorming and determine individual actions you can regularly perform that bring you closer to your goals.

·         Start With One Or Two

Trying to overhaul your entire personality at once is unlikely to be beneficial or productive in any way. Instead, choose one or two traits that you want to devote your attention to first and improve or create those traits as your first goal. Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much to change at once. Ideally, it would be best to start with a quality that will help you improve future traits.

litter negativity meme2.    Change Belief Systems

Many aspects of personality are influenced by what you believe in. So changing the way you think and feel about the world, the ideals you hold, and the source of your motivation can be a significant and more effective way to tackle traits and habits that stem from those beliefs. Or so say studies.

Broader personality traits, such as your natural temperament and the main few descriptions someone may give of you, are harder to change and work on. But in-between types of qualities, meaning personality traits relating to your beliefs, are ones that most experts agree can be altered.

Of course, it’s not easy to change your beliefs, but it’s an excellent place to start. Think about it!

Your beliefs dictate virtually most things about you, such as:

  • How you view the world and its many circumstances.
  • What mechanisms help you function throughout the day and respond to challenges.
  • How you look at yourself and other people.
  • How you choose friends and people to bond with.
  • What you dedicate yourself to.

Learning to change your beliefs will help you correct aspects of your personality that you’re unhappy with. For example, you may believe that only unintelligent people lack conscientiousness. This can, and this can cause you to become anxious when you don’t feel prepared enough, and it may stop you from being able to think on your feet. It may even make you angry at those who don’t prepare as well as you do and think of them as dumb.

But you can then shift your beliefs to the knowledge that intelligence isn’t defined by a single trait, and it’s impossible to be prepared for everything in life and isn’t a poor reflection on you when you’re not always ready. This will reduce the chances that you would get angry at someone for not being prepared, and it’ll prevent anxious behaviors and responses due to lack of preparation.

3.    Shift Your Habits

Your habits can lend to your personality. The way you behave is often a reflection of your personality, but you can influence yourself the other way around because it’s easier to change your actions than your personality. When you start to alter certain habits, you’ll find that they contribute to your greater efforts of developing a more positive character overall.

On top of that, experts discovered that those with positive traits in their personality develop those traits alongside developing good habitual responses they retained. Habits can be learned, and this can help you immensely on your quest for a better character, though it’s not always that easy. Here are some tips for shifting your habits:

·         Develop Stronger Awareness

It’s hard to change habits and behavior when you don’t notice how you act or behave. Many people run on autopilot as far as their reactions go, and it can be hard to stop things that you’ve been doing habitually without actively trying to take notice of them. You can start by tracing your expression of unwanted personality traits. First, what are some examples of the traits that you dislike? Next, what tends to trigger them? Finally, what situations are they most prevalent in? From there, you can come up with a plan to combat these behaviors and be prepared for their triggers.

·         Shift Negative Traits Into Positive Ones

Many of the habits you perform are born out of a negative manifestation of a personality trait that could go either way. In most cases, personality traits have good and bad sides to them, and the ability to shift negative aspects towards positive ones can make for an easier way to rewrite your habits.

·         Practice

You can’t change habits without practicing them. Changing your personality through habits means repeatedly performing corrected behavior over and over until they become natural. This can take a fair amount of time, but use your positive thinking and seek opportunities to practice your habits. Seek support groups, put yourself in situations where you have no choice but to either practice your positive changes or revert to what you dislike, and ask those you trust to help keep you in check.

your personalityFinal Thoughts On Some Ways Your Personality Is Interfering With Your Life

Your personality is unique and special, but it doesn’t have to be stagnant. When you dislike something about your character, and if it gets in the way of your life, you have the power to fix those aspects and improve yourself!

5 Ways To Stop Struggling And Suffering (And How To Live A Fulfilling Life)

Do you often feel as if you’re struggling? Do you worry that you’ll never live a fulfilling life? Are you trapped in your mind or circumstances and can’t see a way out?

Don’t fret. It’s normal to feel a little lost sometimes, and it’s not the end of the world! Here are 5 ways to stop struggling and suffering and 4 ways to live a fulfilling life.

5 Ways To Stop Struggling And Suffering In Life

fulfilling life1.    Acknowledge That You’re Struggling

Often, people try to downplay their emotions or talk themselves up by insisting they’re not struggling. On the one hand, this can come from a place of genuine desire to promote positive thinking. On the other, it’s not getting rid of those feelings – it’s just repressing them.

Studies indicate that those who bottle up their emotions and try to repress their struggles suffer from it, while those who express their problems feel more positive afterward. Acknowledging that the problem exists allows your brain to confront it, lets you express those complex feelings, and validates what you experience.

Here are some ways to acknowledge that you’re struggling:

  • Simply say that you are struggling or what your problem is out loud; “I am struggling” or “I am upset because I lost that promotion” are some examples.
  • Write down everything you feel and all the struggles you face in a private journal; don’t filter yourself and write absolutely everything that comes to mind, no matter how silly it sounds.
  • Talk to someone you trust and who cares about you regarding your struggles, or seek a counselor who can listen.

2.    Take Responsibility for Creating a Fulfilling Life

It’s easy to blame all sorts of things for the problems you face. It’s tough to hold yourself accountable, especially for things like your own suffering or struggling. You may blame:

  • Your family
  • Childhood factors
  • Your situation
  • Environmental influences
  • Your friends
  • Those who have wronged you
  • Your disorders
  • Your disabilities

While it’s fair and even necessary to acknowledge how all these factors have influenced the person you are today, that doesn’t mean you should continue to blame them forever. At some point, your life falls entirely into your hands.

You are the person at the sails of your life. You have the ability to heal, to do the most with what you have, and to choose the way you outwardly respond to different events and the people around you.

This is not to say that all your problems, including those initially caused by things outside of your control, will go away as soon as you hold yourself accountable. But it does mean that it’s time for you to get your positive thinking going and accept that you are the only one with the ability to sculpt your future and your attitude towards your struggles!

3.    Remember The Goodness In You

There are many things in your life you may wish you’d done better on. You may wonder if you’re truly a good person or if the people around you even like you. When this happens, you can empower yourself by remembering the goodness that naturally lies in your soul.

Shambhala Buddhist beliefs involve the concept of “basic goodness,” which refers to the tradition of belief in inherent basic goodness within everyone and the universe, no matter how negative or chaotic the world or life seems. No matter what your religion is, it’s important not to lose sight of the knowledge that good exists in the world.

Despite everything you’ve been through, there are things about you that are good, and there are things in the world that are good. With the internet, you can easily find charities, acts of kindness caught on camera, and even simply adorable, loving animals that can remind you of the positive things the world holds. Keeping positive thinking by maintaining this belief can help reduce feelings of suffering or struggle.

4.    Grow Accustomed To Change

Change is a common part of life, but it’s part of why many people feel like they’re struggling. Some people lament change and hate the fact that their life has been altered. But listen closely: your life is in a constant state of change! No matter what you’re doing, it’s changing because change is constant and unstoppable.

Being uncomfortable with change can hurt you in the long run, as it often means you’re uncomfortable with life. It can also make you:

  • Spend too long dwelling on the past instead of focusing your energy on moving forward
  • Wallow in regrets and lost opportunities instead of learning from mistakes
  • Hold onto things for too long instead of realizing it may be time to let go and move on.

Change is inevitable, and it’s happening every second of the day. This means that bad times will change to good and good to bad, and that’s just how it is. Learn to embrace and encourage change instead of resisting it, and you’ll be much better at riding life’s waves.

5.    Do Things Differently for a More Fulfilling Life

As you get used to accepting change, you’ll also discover that so much power lies within you. If something is causing you to struggle, you can simply decide to do things differently. You can change things about your life! Here are some examples of things to do differently to stop your struggles:

·         Emotions

When a negative emotion comes, it is always good to acknowledge it. But then, instead of stewing in it, you can assess it. Is this emotion reasonable? Is the situation warranting it? How else can you react to the situation more positively? Changing how you feel about things takes practice, but you’ll soon find that you naturally have more positive thinking about the world.

·         Routine

Life is full of routine, and some of them may unknowingly be contributing to your suffering. Furious at everyday traffic? Take a different route or leave at a different time. Sick of feeling like you have nothing to do at night? Take up a new hobby or add a nightly activity to your routine. Tired of waking up feeling exhausted? Set an earlier bedtime. There are so many possibilities!

·         Perspective

Your perspective is one of many. If your perspective focuses on your suffering and your life’s negative aspects, you can choose to find new ways to look at the world. Appreciate the things around you and find silver linings in even the darkest clouds. Ask or listen to others who have different perspectives on life. It’s incredibly empowering to realize how much a paradigm shift can change your life!

4 Ways To Live A Fulfilling Life

pop meme1.    Perform Acts Of Kindness

Being kind to others allows you to shift the focus away from yourself and onto others. While you need to prioritize yourself, when you have the time to spare, using it to devote yourself to helping others is a wonderful way to feel fulfilled.

Research has found that positive social behavior can decrease feelings of stress while improving mood, strengthening relationships, and even leading to better physical health! Here are some ways to perform acts of kindness:

  • Be a shoulder for someone to cry on
  • Volunteer with or donate to a cause you believe in
  • Do a favor for someone else.
  • Give a gift to someone you care about
  • Give a massage to a significant other

2.    Leave Your Comfort Zone

Remaining in a bubble where you only ever feel safe and secure sounds nice, but it can stifle you and prevent you from reaching your full potential or fulfillment. It’s always nice to have order in your life, but you could do with a challenge, too!

Research has found that people who leave their comfort zone enjoy more positive progress in their personal learning journeys. It gives you:

  • New experiences
  • Tough lessons
  • Additional insight
  • More options in life
  • Chances to find passions

So every day, do something that puts you a little outside of your comfort zone. Learn to challenge yourself and get comfortable with discomfort. You will always learn more and be happier by doing more than doing less, and no one feels fulfilled from being bored.

3.    Prioritize Your Health

A healthy body makes for a healthy mind. It sounds “lame” to have to be physically healthy to be mentally healthy, but health allows you to live longer and enjoy more things without suffering from them. Here are some ways you should prioritize your health:

·         Exercise

It would help if you were exercising regularly. 150 minutes of elevated heart rate per week is all you need, so get started on scheduling some physical activity. You don’t need to hit a gym, either – dance your heart out, play sports, do some gardening, or even go for a brisk walk!

·         Eat Well

You don’t need to have a perfect diet, but eating balanced meals and making mindful food choices will allow you to feel better. Limit your unhealthy treats, so they truly feel like rare rewards, don’t skip meals, and eat good, reasonable servings.

·         Get Enough Sleep

A lack of sleep makes you feel terrible, and it’s hard to feel fulfilled when you feel awful! Make sure you’re getting at least 7 hours of sleep every night, and if you’re still tired after that, see a doctor find ways to help!

4.    Go For Your Dreams

You only get one life, and if there’s something you’re passionate about or something you’re dreaming of, you should go for it! While your passions and accomplishments can’t solve all your problems, they can certainly contribute to feelings of success and fulfillment.

Of course, achieving goals is easier said than done, and it’s easy to go about it the wrong way. Here are some tips for achieving your dreams:

  • Create measurable, reasonable, and deadlined short-term and long-term goals
  • Surround yourself with people who support you and your dreams
  • Join communities of people who have similar dreams
  • Learn to take calculated and reasonable risks with healthy backup plans
  • Don’t let anyone ridicule your dreams.
  • Remember that progress isn’t linear, and it’s okay to have both bad and good days as long as you keep learning and don’t stop moving forward.
  • Let yourself rest now and then, and don’t overwork your efforts to the point of burnout.
  • Keep your expectations challenging but reasonable.

pop memeFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Stop Struggling And Suffering To Live A Fulfilling Life

There are many ways to overcome your struggles and create a fulfilling life. Your unique life journey can lead you there if you put effort into it. The power always lies within you!

Forgive a Cheater, But Never Forget…

Should you forgive a cheater?

Infidelity is a very delicate topic, but plenty of people around the country know the pangs that come along with this act of betrayal. It’s not a new phenomenon, but it creates a deep wound when you find out that someone you love had a physical relationship with someone else. So should you continue a relationship with someone who cheats or send them on their way?

When your partner is in the wrong, how can you forgive their act and continue the relationship? Another thing you must consider is if it’s even worth trying to repair. Remember the old saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater?”

So, if you use the mentality that a tiger never changes its stripes, you might second guess your decision to forgive them. Plus, there is the self-dignity aspect, as some people believe if you take a person back once they’ve cheated, you’re permitting them to do it again.

Should You Forgive a Cheater?

It feels good to think that you’ve forgiven someone who has done the unthinkable to you, but breaking fidelity isn’t so easy to get over. You know that you deserve better and more from a relationship, but there’s always the ties that bind. For example, if you have children, a long history, or financial commitments, then it’s not so easy to send them packing.

If you’re considering forgiving your cheating partner, there are some things that you need to consider. So here are some questions to ask yourself.

forgive a cheater1. Have They Cheated Before?

History always has a way of repeating itself. One of the most significant indicators of future behaviors is the actions of the past. If this person has a history of cheating, don’t fool yourself into thinking that things will be different.

Don’t ever think the problem was you or something you’ve done. If there’s an issue, your partner needs to communicate with you about it and not go elsewhere for a fling. Relationships are complicated at best, and if you can’t turn to each other, is it worth saving the relationship?

2. How Is Their Demeanor?

Attitude is everything when it comes to cheating. Is your partner apologetic towards you and truly feels remorse for what they did? You must remember they’re human and will make mistakes, but if their attitude is not regretful, it’s an issue.

A person who isn’t sorry for what they did should be given different considerations. They will cheat again; they need the opportunity. Another issue is when someone denies and acts like it didn’t happen, especially when you had proof that it did. You may not want to forgive a cheater that pretends like it was no big deal.

3. What Type of Cheating Did They Engage in?

With the creation of online dating and the entire virtual world, there are many different types of cheating. Someone can step outside of the relationship emotionally, and some consider that infidelity. To be classified as an affair, one must have a physical relationship, but that doesn’t mean that it lessens the blow of any other types of affiliations.

Each couple establishes boundaries and beliefs in their union. You may consider it a horrible mistake if your mate talks or texts with someone they met online. Decide what you consider cheating, and before you forgive a cheater, you must weigh the gravity of the situation. Most people are more eager to forgive those that have emotional affairs more so than physical ones.

4. How Would They Act If You Cheated on Them?

Look at the situation through reverse lenses for a minute. How would this person act towards you if you were the cheater? While they may be in the hot seat now, how would they be if the shoe were on the other foot?

5. Do You Have the Time and Patience to Work Through Things?

Before you decide to forgive them, do you have the time and patience to do all that it requires? For instance, you will likely need counseling, a cooling-off period, and lots of conversations with each other about the relationship? Is this person worth all the effort that fixing things requires, or is it better to send them on their way?

trust6. Can You Truly Forgive Them?

Many folks say that they can forgive their partner for cheating, but they don’t truly forgive them. If you harbor ill feelings towards them in your heart, then the relationship will never work. To truly forgive someone means that you don’t think about it 24×7 and harbor resentment for their actions.

Now, keep in mind that it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, but you can’t replay the events like a loop in your brain. Instead, you must forgive and move on. Are you strong enough to get over such an act of betrayal and have a future with this person?

7. Is It Possible to Repair the Trust You Once Had?

The biggest issue with forgiving a cheater is the trust between you two has been destroyed. Unfortunately, repairing that broken trust isn’t going to be something that happens overnight. In fact, it can take years to rebuild something once it’s been lost.

According to Smart Health Women, trust issues can develop overnight, but it often takes a lifetime to overcome. Once an individual has been cheated on, they often live with the residual pain and become untrusting of future partners too. In addition, the article says that this person usually has insecurities, jealousy, and paranoia, which will hurt the relationship.

8. Is Your Confidence and Self-esteem Destroyed?

While it’s impossible to predict the future and how you will feel, you can tell if what’s been done has destroyed your confidence and self-esteem. Some people flat out don’t deserve your forgiveness, and this is especially true if the relationship has been nothing but rocky. However, if a person is willing to get counseling, eager to ask for your forgiveness, and terribly sorry, then you might be able to work through this issue.

When their act causes you to change your views of yourself and the world around you, then you should think twice. You need to rebuild your self-esteem, and it might be easier to do that if they’re not in the picture. This all goes back to whether you can genuinely forgive them or not.

Some people have the unique ability to let things roll off their backs, but other folks can’t get over something so quickly.

9. Are They Trying to Repair Things?

Evaluate the entire situation from the time you found out until now. Is this individual doing everything they can to repair things with you? Their attitude, eagerness for counseling, and willingness to try speaks volumes.

Someone who is genuinely remorseful is going to do everything they can to make it up to you. However, someone who feels justified in their decision won’t care. Someone selfish or narcissistic will undoubtedly pin this error on you, so why would you want to forgive a cheater who acts like that?

They can make you think that your actions caused them to have their needs met elsewhere. According to Mental Health Matters, those with a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder often feel they’re entitled to cheat. They have no remorse for the situation, so they can and will do it again.

10. Are They Worth It?

If possible, you need to remove yourself from the current situation and look at the big picture. Is this person and the relationship worth it? If you’ve been together for ten years, have three kids, and outstanding debt, you might feel differently than if you’ve only been together for a year with no ties.

Each situation is different. You know the person you’re with, or at least you thought you did. You must decide if they’re worth putting the time and effort into repairing this relationship. There’s something broken in the union, or they would never step outside the relationship.

The chances are that this whole situation has little to do with you and so much more to do with them and their feelings.

forgive a cheaterFinal Thoughts on Forgiving a Cheater and Whether You Decide to Move Forward in the Relationship

Let’s face it, people cheat. A study conducted by Health Research Funding Found that infidelity happens in at least 60 percent of relationships. That staggering number is, no doubt, why the divorce rate is so high.

It takes a strong person to forgive a cheater, and the relationship may or may not be salvageable. You must consider the type of cheating involved, their attitude towards the events, and the future. Can you truly forgive this person and continue the relationship?

You will need counseling and time to heal such wounds, but many people flourish after such an event. Some even say it’s the wake-up call their relationship needed. However, since each person handles stressors like this differently, you must decide if you can move on from such a blow to your self-esteem.

When you forgive a cheater, it doesn’t mean that you must continue the relationship any further. In many instances, forgiveness does more for you than it does for them. However, you don’t have to choose to live with someone who has broken trust with you and has an overall lack of respect.

15 Habits That Cause Inhibition and Unhappiness

Have you ever wondered if your inhibition is holding you back from being happy? Sadly, your hang-ups can not only drain you mentally, but they can wreak havoc on your emotions.

If you feel stressed and anxious most days, it could be your fears that are causing you much duress.

It’s normal to have some anxieties in life as everyone is different, and you come with their own thoughts and belief system. However, for the person who struggles with inhibitions, you believe that you have the gift to read others’ minds, and you think they’re always having derogatory thoughts towards you.

The good news is that you can let go of these hang-ups if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to work on you. It would help if you learned that the challenges that come along with life are beyond your control. Remember, you cannot regulate things like whether it rains or snows, genetic conditions you were born with, or your intellect.

How Inhibition Can Hold You Back

inhibitionThough you may influence others, you will never control other adults’ thoughts or actions. Wouldn’t it be great if you always got what you wanted in life? Sadly, that’s never going to happen. As you start on this journey towards becoming a better you, keep these things in mind:

  • In some circumstances, being unhappy or miserable will be inevitable.
  • You may be the cause of much of your pain.
  • Only you have the power to stop your mental torment by controlling your hang-ups.
  • You can have a good life if you stop creating your own suffering.
  • You need to define your values and goals and not let anyone detour you from them.

Fifteen Ways Your Inhibition is Interfering with Your Joy

Did you ever consider that your thoughts and actions might be harmful to you? Many people cause useless suffering to themselves. Here are some of the behaviors that can zap your happiness.

1. You Bite Your Tongue to Avoid Conflict

Rather than speaking up about something you know is or isn’t right, you choose to stay silent. You’re afraid to stand out from the crowd and be different. Sadly, you watch many injustices done and do nothing about them.

2. You Miss Out on Meeting Wonderful New People

Your shy and often self-conscious personality makes you afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You could meet new and exciting people and enjoy more experiences if you could only let go just a little bit. Stop worrying about the possibility they might not like you.

3. You’re Afraid to Change Jobs for Fear of The Unknown

You’ve probably passed over many jobs or even a career path because you’re scared. You don’t trust in yourself enough to learn something new or to leave a job that you’ve stagnated in just because it’s familiar.

4. Traveling to New Places Is Out of The Question

You tend to choose the same vacation spots, maybe even identical cabins or hotels each year. When it comes to eating out, you have your favorite restaurants where you order the same thing. You are terrified to go to new places because you’re afraid you won’t fit in or people will stare at you.

5. You’re Afraid to Ask for Raise or a Promotion

You’ve been looked over for a promotion or raise for many years. You refuse to say anything or stand up for yourself no matter how much you deserve it. You’re so afraid the boss may get mad and fire you that you become a doormat where they can walk all over you.

6. You Don’t Speak Up for Yourself

You let people walk all over you, and it hurts you deeply. Still, you would rather keep friends and relatives close that are toxic than to have no relationships at all. You’re incredibly fearful of losing this relationship, so you let them treat you any old way.

7. You Can’t Say No

One of the biggest problems that you have is that you don’t know when to say no. Your schedule is already full, and you’re exhausted. Yet, when anyone asks you to do a favor, you don’t have the power within yourself to say no.

pop meme8. You Take Responsibility for Things That Are Out of Your Control

Quit blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. You put a lot of baggage on your shoulders when it isn’t your burden to bear. Of course, you can’t help it if your parents get a divorce, your spouse is sick, or that the weather is terrible outside. You will find comfort when you learn that you’re not at fault for everything.

9. You Put on An Act for The Outside World

You wear a mask every day when you go to work because you’re afraid for people to see the real you. One person in this entire world is uniquely you, and no one should ever make you feel like you must hide.

You can be free to play the music you want, wear the clothes you love, and it’s okay to drive a small gas, nice car. Stop conforming to what others think is a perfect world and live for you.

10. You Put Others Ahead of Yourself

You’re a kind person, and you often let the needs of others come before you. Your children have more clothes than they know what to do with, but it’s been three years since you’ve bought yourself anything. It’s good to take care of family and those around you, but at some time, your needs must come into play. Self-care is essential.

11. You Hide Your Emotions

There have been many times you’ve wanted to cry or get angry, but you keep your emotions stifled. It’s okay to show people that you’re not happy all the time. If you are afraid to show your feelings, then you’re not real with others.

12. You Try to Please Everybody

Being a people pleaser is one of the most significant inhibitions that folks must overcome. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. Your opinion is what counts most, followed by your spouse. You can try your entire life, but you will never please all the people all the time.

13. You Ignore Your Intuition

How many times has your gut tried to tell you something, but you won’t listen to it? You’re so afraid to trust yourself that you don’t even listen to your intuitive nature trying to help you out.

14. You Don’t Believe in Yourself

Sadly, you don’t need anyone else to put you down or feel less than because you do a good enough job of this by yourself. One of your significant hang-ups is that you don’t see the value and worth you carry. If you don’t believe in yourself, then how can you expect others to?

15. Inventing and Dwelling on Painful Inner Dramas

Your inhibition may come along with an anxiety disorder. For instance, you just received word that there was a terrible accident two miles from your job. The interstate is shut down.

The first thought that comes to your mind is that your spouse travels this way to work. Your mind instantly goes to ideas of how you would carry on if they died. Then your mind leaps to a conversation yesterday, and you assume they probably fell out of love with you anyway.

In the next five minutes, you’ve convinced yourself that you need to start job hunting or you will live in poverty because you’ve probably lost your spouse. You have a vivid imagination, and it’s killing you mentally. You should seriously consider using these talents to write a screenplay, but it won’t do you much good in this life.

Your imagination can spin tales that are scary, outrageous and will rock your peace of mind.

inhibitionFinal Thoughts on Shedding Your Inhibition So You Can Be Happier

Every person has experienced one of these fifteen misery makers a time or two in their life. No one is perfect, but you can become better at recognizing when you’re contributing to your own suffering. Once you realize what you’re doing, you can stop and switch mental gears so that you can be happier.

Try using this acronym to help you identify issues: S.T.O.P.

  • S – See yourself as others see you and stop self-sabotaging you. If you want to change then, you need to be self-aware.
  • T – Take control over your life. If you make a conscious decision that it’s time for you to change, it will be easier to accomplish.
  • O – Options. You have options. What things can you do differently to change? Remember, you’re one decision away from an entirely new life.
  • P – Practice new mindsets. Once you alter your perspective, it’s time to put this new way of thinking to fair use. Practice new ways to change old habits.

When you changed your inhibition, then you can change your life. Are you ready to get rid of some of the baggage that’s holding you back? Today is a brand-new day, and it’s time to be a brand-new you. After all, you deserve to be happy.

Experts Reveal 6 Ways To Overcome Fear And Live Life To The Fullest

Fear is a potent emotion. It can cause people to falter, give up, and allow opportunities to slip by them. Perhaps it can even stop someone from being able to live life to the fullest. Life would be so different if everyone stopped allowing fear to be their guiding force.

If you find that you are often held back by fear, then there’s good news for you: you can break free from this mentality! Here’s how experts reveal 6 ways to overcome fear and live life to the fullest.

1.    Stop Looking For Negatives

There will always be negative things in life. People who live in fear often hold a spotlight on those negative things, using them as a reason to not step out of their fear. You might even actively seek out bad things as a justification for why you’re too afraid to live fully. Here are some ways you can stop looking for negatives in your life, according to life coach and author Chris Ellis:

live life to the fullest·         Don’t Focus On Little Problems

Small stuff will go wrong all the time, and little things will be out of place often. While some of them are worth your attention, the fact is that genuinely significant issues are ones with enormous stakes behind them. Small problems with small consequences often iron themselves out!

·         Stop Looking For Things You Can Fix

It’s tempting to seek to improve absolutely everything in your life, claiming that you can only really move forward if you fix it all first. But not only is that impossible, but it’s also just unfair! There is beauty in being happy with what you currently have, and there is wisdom in knowing what to work on and what doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t need to keep fixing things before you’re worthy of success.

·         Don’t Fixate On The News

You can and should keep yourself up-to-date on current events. But you shouldn’t use bad news – which the world is full of – as a reason to not live your life to the fullest. In fact, if news programming affects your fears significantly, you may want to cut down on home much of it you consume. Studies show that reading or watching the news can reduce positive thinking. So make sure you balance out your bad news with good!

2.    Address Your Fears Directly

You cannot live life to the fullest when fears hold you back.

Many people try to ignore or even repress their fears, either in denial or to hope that they’ll go away. Of course, this isn’t something that happens. The more you bottle up your fears, the more likely they are to come out to bite you.

Studies have found that naming, confronting, and being honest about negative emotions can lead to the resolution of those emotions or even decrease their intensity. Basically, if you want to approach your fears in a positive way, you have actually to admit that they exist – and even address them! This can seem a bit frightening at first. Life coach and writer Elyse Santilli recommend the following methods to address fears directly:

·         Hold Fears To Scrutiny

Find a fear that plagues you the worst out of all others in your life. Then, hold it up to the light of your mind. Talk to yourself about your fears – why do you believe this fear is true? Is that realistic? Can you know this thought is accurate? Are there other perspectives? What would the best version of you say?

·         Compare Fears To Gains

Instead of focusing on your fears about something in your life, try writing a list of all the gains you could earn if you stepped outside of that fear. How will you grow? What achievements will you have? How much wiser will you get? You may find that the gains far outweigh all your fears.

·         Reframe The Fear

Did you know that the human nervous system cannot easily differentiate between excitement and fear? So the next time you feel fear, change the narrative – you’re afraid, yes, but you’re also excited for the opportunities and the lessons you’ll learn from being brave!

3.    Find Inspiration

When you’re overwhelmed by fear, your thoughts are governed by it. All you can see and think of is that fear and the anxious things you think will happen as a result. It’s time to break out of that and find positive thinking. How? Through inspiration!

Being inspired by the world around you reminds you of all the great possibilities that await you outside of your bubble of fear. Mentally Strong People Podcast host and mental strength trainer Amy Morin outlines these great ways to find inspiration in your life to overcome fear:

·         Find People To Look Up To

Lots of people can inspire you in different ways. Some will have the perseverance that makes you strive to do better. Some have achieved goals that you want to reach. Others have tales of how they rose from the bottom. Finding a wide variety of people you can look up to is a great way to find inspiration.

·         Find Support

Talk to people you trust and care about you and tell them about your fears and goals. You can also seek communities of people who are working towards similar dreams. Not only will the people in your life keep you accountable, but they’ll also be there to support you.

·         Remind Yourself Why You Do It

Whenever you’re tempted to throw in the towel, stop and think about yourself and why you decided to go on this journey. Why do you want to achieve these goals? Why are you willing to do all that it takes? Write a list of reasons that you want to keep going and use that to inspire yourself. As it turns out, sometimes great inspiration comes from within!

pop meme4.    Use Your Thoughts Productively and Positively

Fears are part of your thoughts, and they take up a lot of your mental energy. Instead of wasting your thoughts on them, try and spin your beliefs to more positive ground. Here are some ways that counseling psychology expert, courage coach, and author Tess Marshall recommends you positively use your thoughts:

·         Don’t Devote Excess Energy To Fear

It’s okay to feel bad sometimes. But there’s a limit to how much energy you should give to fear. Please don’t give it excess attention, time, or energy. Save all of that effort for finding solutions and living your life!

·         Make Positive Thinking Dominant

Negative thoughts only attract more negativity. By making sure your dominant thoughts are usually positive, you’re attracting more positive thinking into your life.

·         Think Of Victories

Whenever your fear gets to you, think of your achievements. Please think of how well you did, how capable you are, and how amazing it felt to succeed. Hold onto that and use those thoughts against fear.

·         Don’t Get Stuck On What You Lack

You’re always going to be “missing” something in life. Instead of being caught up in scarcity, fill yourself with gratitude. Gratitude is known to work wonders on positive thinking, according to studies, so live your life that way and leave fear behind.

5.    Make A Plan

So, you now know that you definitely want to leave fear in the past and truly live your life. Great! But how can you go about it? Morin recommends making a plan of some kind or listing down goals. It’s common knowledge in academic circles that goal-setting is crucial to positive success! Here are some tips for making plans:

·         Make A Timeline

Generic goals like “I want to publish a book one day” are too loose and vague, and there’s nothing in them that boosts productivity. Create a general timeline of when you want to achieve different steps along the way to that big goal. “Someday” isn’t a definite time, and your fear can allow you to always keep “someday” in the future.

·         Set Short-Term Goals

Breaking down big goals into smaller chunks is a great way to ensure that you don’t get overwhelmed. It allows you to easily follow a path towards success made up of small, easily noticeable checkpoints. Your fear will be less powerful when you can clearly see the progress being made.

·         Look Before You Leap

Before you make huge decisions or take big risks, make sure you have a plan for what you’ll do in the event of failure. For example, you shouldn’t quit your job right away if a failure in your goals would render you homeless. Think about things and formulate a plan before going for your dreams. There’s a difference between being brave and being foolish!

·         Take Steps Daily

Find ways to make little steps towards your goals every day. Turning goal progress into a habit helps relieve some fear as you see just how well you can work towards something!

6.    Respect and Believe In Yourself

If you truly want to overcome fear, you must believe that you can, and you must value yourself enough to try. A lack of self-esteem and constant self-deprecating won’t get you anywhere. Here’s how Ellis recommends taking steps to respect and believe in yourself to overcome fear:

·         Trust In Yourself

You’ve had your fair share of bad days and bad experiences, and yet you emerged through them all unscathed. You have overcome all the struggles of your past, and you can continue to break through obstacles and barriers, even if it’s difficult.

·         Know Your Power

You have strengths, skills, and abilities that make you a capable person. So whenever your fear rears its head, remember how strong and amazing you are. Reassess negative thoughts about yourself – why do you have those beliefs? Isn’t it time to put them to rest?

·         Know Your Worth

Over the past years of your life, you may have received many subliminal or even direct messages that degrade your worth. But no matter what anyone says, one thing remains true: you are worthy of love, success, of your dreams, and happiness. You, just as you are, are enough.

live life to the fullestFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Overcome Fear And Live Life To The Fullest

Life is beautiful when lived to the fullest. But fear, anxiety, and worries of all kinds can stop people from seeing that beauty. It’s easy to get lost in fear and allow such emotions to hold you back. You deserve better than to be trapped in one place forever. So step out of your comfort zone, face your fears, and go live the life you’re worthy of.

Skip to content