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11 Red Flags Reveal a Defensive Person (and how to deal with them)

August 31, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

Each person is hardwired with a survival instinct to protect themselves. Sadly, some folks tend to have defensive behaviors that are in overdrive. Do you walk on eggshells around your partner because they’re always on guard and in defense mode?

Keeping your brain in a state of defense puts you on the offense, which means communication is challenging. Plus, these behaviors can be very harmful to the relationship.

Eleven Red Flags That Unmask a Defensive Person

The self-protecting impulse is normal, but why do some people tend to be more hyperactive with it than others? If you’re dating someone suffering from defensiveness, you need to learn how to help them dismantle it.

If you want to connect healthily, you need to be free to communicate and explore one another. Here are eleven red flags that indicate a defensive person.

1. A Defensive Person Wears Their Emotions on Their Sleeves

Someone who is overly defensive has their mind programmed to be in an overprotective mentality. Sadly, in many instances, the situation doesn’t warrant their response. These folks walk around with their figurative shields up and weapons drawn, but there isn’t a battle.

They become so upset over the smallest of things, and you may shut down and stop talking so that you don’t offend them any further. To handle this situation, you need to confront them about their overly sensitive nature. When communicating, make sure you talk through things and don’t leave anything up for interpretation.

2. Refuses to Acknowledge Their Behaviors

Jesse was an eight-year-old foster child adopted into a loving home. As a defense mechanism, he learned that lying would get him out of trouble. Over the years, he would never acknowledge his behaviors as he didn’t want anyone to think ill of him.

However, his actions were laughable in adolescence, but the lies became more damaging as he grew. He would lie about anything and everything. He went through three wives and is estranged from his four children because he was always innocent and never acknowledged his behavior.

When you’re fighting a defensive person who has a troubled past, it’s something you cannot do alone. This person needs counseling to help rewire their brain. These habits don’t die easily, and they can make your life miserable.

3. The Defensive Person Has an Exaggerated Startle Response

There is a reaction for every action, and this reaction is a combination of things like your self-esteem, temperament, and history. It would help if you remembered these facts when confronting your partner about anything. If they jump when you walk into a room, it’s clear they’re on edge.

According to the National Library of Medicine, having an exaggerated startle reflex is a big issue, and you often see this with people who have post-traumatic stress disorder. This is something that they need to work through in counseling, and you must learn how to approach them to try not to trigger the already overstimulated response.

4. Is Overly Defensive to Normal Disruptions

All relationships go through hard times, and everyone suffers from a breakdown of communication on occasion. For instance, you may ask your partner to pick up a dozen eggs on the way home from work, but they heard that you wanted milk instead. Rather than laughing off the simple mistake, they become irate and want to prove that you were the one in the wrong.

Okay, so they made their point that you were wrong. How do you handle the person who refuses to accept any responsibility, and is it worth arguing about? Is it worth an evening of arguing because you got milk instead of eggs? Letting go is the best thing you can do, but they need to work on that defensive attitude because it will get them into a lot of trouble.

5. Can’t Take Any Criticism

Being free to express anger and complaints is part of what makes a relationship work. However, what if your partner can’t take any criticism? Sitting calmly and quietly while you tell them about their faults is torture to the defensive person.

To handle this situation, you must learn to change your approach. First, you must learn to quiet the inner lawyer’s constant stream of banter that you’ve prepared. Second, you must ask yourself how you would want to be approached about the matter. The key is to get your point across without them taking their defensive nature into overdrive.

6. A Defensive Person Carries Excessive Baggage From Their Childhood

Their childhood is a big indication of why you’re dealing with the issues of the defensive person. In many instances, they’ve been neglected, abused, or experienced trauma. The key is to get them to process the things that happened to them in the past, or they will never be able to move on and have a healthy future.

7. Their Protection Mode Overrides the Connection

Each human has both wirings for connection and protection within their brain. Once the honeymoon is over in a relationship, you learn to make a sustainable connection. However, with this person, their defensive nature overrides the connection you’ve developed.

As a natural defense, you want to protect yourself from their insinuations and accusations. To fix this issue, you must tap into your coexistent desire to connect. Try to remember the first stage of “puppy love” you experienced when you met and remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.

8. Smolders With Resentment

Does your partner tend to sweep issues under the rug rather than deal with them? While that’s a great short-term fix, it’s not going to help you in the long run. How can a wound heal if it’s always covered up?

A relationship with lots of pent-up anger will begin to smolder. The key in this situation is to handle the issue first and try not to bury things.

9. Engages in the “Conflict Cycle.”

An ideal conflict occurs when someone protests something, and then you work on a repair solution. However, when someone is stuck in a conflict cycle, they want to do things like:

Connect
Explode
Walkout
Fix
Reconnect

They add unnecessary steps into a dispute that make conflict resolution challenging. How can you build the resiliency of the relationship if you can’t resolve anything? The key to dealing with this situation and the defensive person is to never punish or shame them for how they feel or act.

Instead, you want to show them a better way to resolve issues. Let them know they’re safe, to be honest, and acknowledge how they feel. Take the reason for the defensive nature away and allow them to experience freedom.

10. The Defensive Person Withdraws and Disconnects Often

If your partner feels you’re a threat to them, they will naturally withdrawal to protect themselves. Sadly, this will only create more trouble for your relationship. Their vulnerability comes from being hurt by someone they loved before.

Don’t let them isolate themselves over something silly. Instead, find a way to communicate and work through these feelings. They may be apprehensive and feel you’re going to hurt them initially. Thankfully, once you do it a few times and put them at ease, they will realize you have their best interests at heart.

11. Never Gives the Benefit of the Doubt

If your partner is late coming home from work, you should be able to express that you’re upset because dinner is cold. They should have called you rather than leaving it up in the air. You give your partner the benefit of the doubt because you know they were caught in traffic or late at the office.

However, if the roles are reversed, they would be suspicious of you and fuming mad. When they blow up at you and act furious over a simple misunderstanding, then you need to ask them questions like:

“How can I handle this situation better next time?”
“What do you think is a viable solution?”

By asking questions on how to fix it, you lessen their defenses and input how to handle things.

Final Thoughts on Identifying a Defensive Person

Everybody has a defense system that helps protect them in life. For some folks, their system is in overdrive, which makes them overly defensive person. While you love them and want to be with them, there is much work to do to make a situation like this work.

In most cases, an overly defensive individual is someone who’s gone through some challenging things in life. According to Psychology Today’s David Woodsfellow Ph.D., it’s one of four issues that lead to divorce. The next time there’s a concern that needs to be discussed, try starting soft with them.

Please don’t come in yelling and raising the roof, blowing them out of the water. Remember that a kind word can turn away wrath. It doesn’t mean that these issues should be pushed under the rug; quite the contrary.

You must adjust your approach to them so that you can try to avoid triggering their defensive system any more than it already is. Lastly, you need counseling as a couple and individually to deal with all these matters if you want to make your relationship work.

12 Warning Signs Someone Has Hit Rock Bottom

August 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

What is rock bottom, and is it a place everyone visits at least once? The term is commonly used when speaking of someone with an addiction, but you don’t need to have a dependence issue to go to this dark place.

Yet, an article on Psych Central states that not everyone will hit this point of desperation.

For those who’ve experienced low blows in life, they remember all too well the pain and heartache that comes from hitting the lowest places. Is there any way to tell if you or your friend is about to hit rock bottom? If you see the warning signs, you can get help before things get too bad.

It’s in these times of desperation that people make silly mistakes. Have you ever tried to self-medicate or spent all your savings to try to make yourself feel better? Think of your brain like a rubber band.

How often did you fling rubber bands across the room in a school or snap one of your brothers or sisters? If you’ve done this a time or two, you also know that rubber bands can break with too much pressure. So, just like your mind, if you keep stretching things until it’s worn thin, it will eventually break.

Twelve Warning Signs Someone Is Close to Hitting Rock Bottom

Thankfully, there are some warning signs that rock bottom is imminent. When you’re proactive about your mental health, you can take the necessary precautions to keep your sanity. Here are the top red flags and signs to look for.

1. Hygiene Fails When You Near Rock Bottom

One of the first indications that something is wrong with a person is that their hygiene fails. Part of this can be due to depression that almost always accompanies the place called wit’s end. Shonah Wootton shared her powerful story about her journey through depression on The Mighty.

She encourages others who had walked in dark places, as she remembers times when she didn’t brush her teeth for over a month. Much of the world gets out of bed, brushes their teeth, takes a shower, and heads to work. However, those suffering from depression and finding themselves in pits of despair might have trouble getting up in the morning.

If you feel like it’s a significant chore to take care of your body, it’s a sign that you’re nearing rock bottom and need help.

2. Feeling Hopeless and Helpless

Everyone has problems, but sometimes you feel like there’s no way to escape the issues that have you bound. When those feelings of hopelessness and helplessness flood your mind, getting help is essential. According to Suicide Awareness Voices Of Education, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in this country.

Additionally, one person will die every 11 seconds by taking their life. This year, 48,500 Americans will die from suicide. Depression is usually behind this desperate act, and it’s an indication you’ve hit rock bottom.

3. Alienating the Inner Circle

It’s hard to keep cool and say all the right things when you’re not in a good place. You may snap at a friend or loved one without meaning to do so, but you feel so horrible you will lash out at anyone. One of the signs that you’re spiraling out of control is that you start to alienate those around you.

4. Physical Illness

Do you always have headaches, your stomach bothers you, you seem to frequent the bathroom, and you just have a general feeling of being unwell? When you’re fighting feelings of helplessness, it can have a significant impact on your psyche. If you’ve been to the doctor and they found nothing wrong with you, it’s a sign that you’re breaking down.

Your mind, body, and spirit are connected. So, you will suffer mentally when you’re not doing well physically or spiritually.

5. Job Woes

Do you seem to be having problems at work? It can affect your job if things aren’t going well with you. Do you tend to call off more so these days, or is your performance lackluster? You may have been written up for these issues.

When it’s hard to pull yourself out of bed in the morning, going to work and doing the 9-5 shift is nearly impossible. If your job performance is lacking, and you’re on the verge of being fired, it’s another sign that you’re in a low place.

6. Trying Escape Methods

It’s normal for people to try to escape their problems by taking a mental vacation. Drugs and alcohol are agents that numb your mind to don’t have to think or feel the negative emotions you’re experiencing. According to Addiction Center, there are 21 million people in this country that suffer from some addiction.

Sadly, only ten percent of these folks will seek treatment. While these substances can make you feel better in the short term, your problems will be waiting for you when the effect wears off. It’s not a helpful way to cope with your concerns, and it’s a sign you need help.

7. Severe Mood Swings

You may be grumpy, irritable, and downright mean when your emotional health is not good. Another classic sign of being at rock bottom is that you are very temperamental. Some days you feel so mean and nasty that you don’t like yourself.

Others will, no doubt, notice your mood change, and they may steer clear of you. If you constantly hear how cranky you are and people ask you what’s wrong, it may indicate you’re on a downward spiral.

8. Crying (Don’t Overlook the Obvious Signs of Hitting Rock Bottom)

It’s very cleansing to have a good cry. It’s very releasing to let all those pent-up emotions out and cleanse the soul. However, if you find that tears come effortlessly to your eyes and can’t seem to stop crying, it’s a sign of trouble.

Everyone cries, but if you find that you’re doing it a little too much, it may indicate a condition like major depressive disorder. Some people tend to be a bit weepier than others, but if you see to cry at the drop of a hat, it should be evaluated.

9. Sleeping Too Much or Too Little

Remember the lady above that said she couldn’t get out of bed? Someone who is nearing rock bottom may find that all they want to do is sleep. Sleeping is another way to escape the reality of the world around you, and it’s a coping mechanism that many people use.

Conversely, someone who can’t sleep and has insomnia may also sign impending issues. Your body cannot go without sleep, and a lack of rest can make you physically and mentally sick.

10. Trouble With The Law or Engaging Risky Behaviors

Have you got in trouble with the law or untypical legal issues? Do you find that you’re doing things and taking risks you wouldn’t normally do? Involvement with legal issues that stem from theft, fraud, or other acts you can control may indicate serious problems.

11. Staying Behind Four Walls

When people are suffering from anxiety, or panic, or are about to hit rock bottom, they may not want to leave the comforts of home. It can quickly turn into a condition known as agoraphobia, where someone is afraid to go beyond the four walls they’re accustomed to. If stepping beyond your front door brings a sense of panic, it’s a sign you’re not in a good place.

12. Somone at Rock Bottom Loses Faith In Humanity

It’s possible to lose faith in everyone and everything around you. You may question your belief in a higher power or whether your family has your best intentions at heart. When you no longer believe that the world is a beautiful place and there are good people here with you, it’s a scary place to be.

Final Thoughts On Hitting Rock Bottom

Remember, it’s not the number of times you fall and hit rock bottom that defines you. However, each time you rise and emerge stronger and better than before, this is what counts. Life comes with many storms that you must weather, and it doesn’t matter how much money is in your bank account or your last name.

Look at celebrities in Hollywood, they have more money than they know what to do with, yet so many of them are miserable. It just proves that money doesn’t solve your problems or buy happiness. In many instances, when you feel like you’re at rock bottom, there could be underlying mental illness.

When no significant changes in your life indicate your downward spiral, it could be a mental health issue to blame. The key is whatever is causing you to have such a hard time needs to be evaluated and treated. You can and will get through this dark season in your life.

Japanese Study Explains How Dopamine Receptors Drive Motivation

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

If you’re feeling unmotivated, blame it on your dopamine receptors. A new study reveals that an impaired reward system can lead to disinterest in achieving life goals. Several neuropathological conditions, such as depression or anxiety, can lower motivation and diminish willpower.

In the latest Japanese study, scientists analyzed the behavior of monkeys after manipulating their reward system network. They found several vital missing components of their reward system which could explain their lack of motivation.

But, where does motivation come from, anyway? What drives us to achieve goals or complete monotonous tasks necessary for our survival? The answer lies in the reward system of our brains, which includes dopamine receptors. This evolutionary mechanism prompts us to work and helps us weigh the costs and benefits of taking risks. If we decide the perceived reward warrants the effort to earn it, this mechanism drives us to take that risk.

However, their reward systems become weakened in people with neurological conditions like depression or Parkinson’s disease. This leads to decreased motivation to work, chronic fatigue, and blunted dopamine receptors.

This new information builds on previous research.

Previous studies have pointed to low dopamine levels as a core feature of disorders like depression. When the reward system becomes disrupted, it makes even simple tasks seem difficult to accomplish. The hallmark symptoms of depression such as lethargy or lack of motivation stem from disrupted dopamine receptors.

Recently, neuroscientists have begun studying how people can “beat the system” and overcome behavioral challenges. They’re investigating how the reward system performs cost-benefit analyses to decide whether to complete a task or not. By dissecting the brain’s dopamine receptors, they can figure out how to bypass learned behaviors and increase motivation.

The Japanese study included Dr. Yukiko Hori of National Institutes for Quantum and Radiological Science and Technology, Japan, and her colleagues. Their research led to a greater understanding of how the reward system evaluates cost-benefit trade-offs. Their findings have been published in the journal PLoS Biology.

The study shows how dopamine receptors drive motivation.

Dr. Hori explains the purpose of their research: “Mental responses such as ‘feeling more costly and being too lazy to act’ are often a problem in patients with mental disorders such as depression, and the solution lies in the better understanding of what causes such responses. We wanted to look deeper into the mechanism of motivational disturbances in the brain.”

To perform the study, Dr. Hori and her colleagues honed in on dopamine (DA). This neurotransmitter encourages motivation and regulates behavior based on cost-benefit analyses. Dopamine gets transmitted in the brain through dopamine receptors or molecular anchors that bind DA molecules. These receptors send signals through neuronal pathways in the brain.

Since the receptors play specific parts in DA signal transmission, the scientists wanted to study how they influence DA signaling. So, using macaque monkeys as subjects, the team hoped to understand how the two classes of DA receptors affect motivation. These dopamine receptors are the D1-like receptor (D1R) and the D2-like receptor (D2R).

In their research, the scientists first trained the animals to perform two different tasks: “reward size” and “work/delay tasks.” Then, the team measured how the required effort and perceived reward influenced behavior. They also altered the dopamine receptors of the monkeys to gauge their response.

Dr. Takafumi Minamimoto, the co-author of the study, explains the following:

“We systematically manipulated the D1R and D2R of these monkeys by injecting them with specific receptor-binding molecules that dampened their biological responses to DA signaling. By positron emission tomography-based imaging of the brains of the animals, the extent of bindings or blockades of the receptors was measured.”

Next, they allowed the monkeys to perform tasks to earn rewards. The team observed whether the monkeys accepted or refused to carry out the tasks. They also recorded their response time to cues related to the tasks.

Both classes of dopamine receptors play a critical role in making decisions

After analyzing the data, the scientists uncovered interesting findings of the dopamine receptors involved in decision-making. They found that the cost-benefit analysis of completing tasks required both D1R and D2R. What’s more, the team observed that these dopamine receptors played a role in two parts of the cost-benefit analysis:

incentivizing the motivation (the size of the reward-motivated the monkeys to take action)
increasing delay discounting (the tendency to prefer immediate, smaller gratification rather than larger, delayed rewards)

They also noted that cost-benefit analyses involve DA transmission via both dopamine receptors. Specific neurobiological processes govern benefits or “reward availability” and costs or “energy expenditure associated with the task.” “Workload discounting,” the process of discounting the perceived value of rewards based on the effort required, only involved D2R manipulation.

Prof. Hori emphasizes, “The complementary roles of two dopamine receptor subtypes that our study revealed, in the computation of the cost-benefit trade-off to guide action, will help us decipher the pathophysiology of psychiatric disorders.”

In the future, scientists hope their research on dopamine receptors will enhance the lives of many. Perhaps subsequent studies will provide more insight on how we can manipulate our reward systems to increase motivation. This can especially help people with neurological or mental disorders have a better quality of life.

Basically, increasing dopamine makes people more motivated to achieve goals. A properly working reward system enables a person to perform cost-benefit analyses effectively. They will put forth effort so long as the perceived rewards outweigh the risk involved. In a person whose reward system isn’t functioning properly, however, they have less motivation to work.

Final thoughts on a study showing how dopamine receptors influence motivation

Dopamine, otherwise known as the “feel-good hormone,” acts as an important part of the brain’s reward system. It gets released when your brain expects a reward, which motivates you to work to obtain it. However, people with dysfunctional dopamine receptors tend to have below-average levels of this important chemical. This leads to a lack of motivation and decreased effort in completing tasks.

A new Japanese study shows how two dopamine receptors play a role in driving motivation. Their research may lead to improved treatments for disorders caused by low dopamine levels, such as depression.

Too Much Computer Time Increases Stroke Risk, According to AHA

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

A new study reveals that spending excess time doing leisurely, sedentary activities quadruples stroke risk in young adults. The risk is highest in sedentary people–those who spend eight or more hours per day engaged in little physical activity. Researchers define sedentary leisure time as any activity done sitting or lying down. This could include spending free time watching TV, using a computer or smartphone, or reading.

However, they found that increasing physical activity could reduce or eliminate the elevated stroke risk from excess sedentary time. Participants in the study who engaged in more physical activity had a lower risk of stroke, unsurprisingly. Researchers say that public health efforts to encourage more physical activity in adults younger than sixty could lower their stroke risk.

The research was published earlier this month in Stroke, a journal of the American Stroke Association, a division of the American Heart Association.

According to the AHA, US adults spend an alarming amount of time connected to devices each day. On average, adults spend 10.5 hours a day consuming media on smartphones, computers, or TVs. The data showed that adults aged 50 to 64 spend the most time using media out of all age groups. It also revealed that stroke-related deaths decreased in 2010 among adults 65 years and older.

However, stroke deaths among younger adults ages 35 to 64 have been increasing in the same time period. In 2010, 14.7 in every 100,000 adults of this age group died from a stroke compared to 15.4 per 100,000 in 2016.

The AHA believes that a dramatic increase in sedentary time is to blame. Prior research suggests that cardiovascular disease risk, including stroke, increases with more sedentary time. Modifiable risk factors such as a sedentary lifestyle contribute to nearly 90% of strokes.

Excess Sedentary Leisure Time Increases Stroke Risk in Young Adults

“Sedentary time is increasing in the United States and Canada,” said study author Raed A. Joundi, M.D., D.Phil., a stroke fellow in the department of clinical neurosciences at the Cumming School of Medicine at the University of Calgary in Canada. “Sedentary time is the duration of awake activities that are done sitting or lying down. Leisure sedentary time is specific to the sedentary activities done while not at work. It is important to understand whether high amounts of sedentary time can lead to stroke in young individuals, as a stroke can cause premature death or significantly impair function and quality of life.”

For the study, researchers analyzed the health and lifestyle of 143,000 adults with no history of stroke, heart disease, or cancer. They participated in the Canadian Community Health Survey in 2000, 2003, 2005, and 2007-2012. The research team studied the participants for an average of 9.4 years (until Dec. 31, 2017) and used hospital records to identify stroke events.

After reviewing the participants’ time spent each day in leisure sedentary activities, they organized the data into groups. The team divided leisure time into the following categories:

less than four hours per day;
four to less than six hours per day;
six to less than eight hours per day, and;
eight or more hours per day.

Researchers also categorized physical activity into quartiles or four equal categories. The lowest quartile corresponded with the least physically active participants. The physical activity of this group equated to going for a walk for ten or fewer minutes daily.

Joundi said this in the report:

“A walk of 10 minutes or less per day is lower than half of what the American Heart Association’s physical activity guidelines recommend.

The American Heart Association recommends adults engage in a minimum of 150 minutes, or two and a half hours, of moderate-intensity physical activity per week. This would mean going for a brisk walk for at least thirty minutes per day on average.

Key Findings From the Study That Links Stroke Risk to Sedentary Behaviors

During the nearly 10-year follow-up period, 2,965 strokes occurred. Ischemic strokes, the most common type of stroke, made up 90% of stroke events. These occur when blood flow through an artery supplying blood to the brain becomes blocked.
All participants had an average daily leisure sedentary time of 4.08 hours per day. Adults aged 60 and younger spent an average of 3.9 hours per day doing leisure activities. Adults ages 60 to 79 had an average of 4.4 hours, while adults 80 and older averaged 4.3 hours.
The stroke risk with 8+ hours of sedentary time was significantly higher only among adults aged 60 or younger who were the least physically active. They had a 4.2x higher stroke risk than adults who had less than four hours of daily leisure sedentary time.
The least active group had a seven times higher stroke risk than adults with less than four hours of sedentary time who had higher physical activity levels.

Joundi reported the following:

“Adults 60 years and younger should be aware that very high sedentary time with little time spent on physical activity can have adverse effects on health, including increased risk of stroke. Physical activity has a very important role in that it reduces the actual time spent sedentary, and it also seems to diminish the negative impact of excess sedentary time. Physician recommendations and public health policies should emphasize increased physical activity and lower sedentary time among young adults in combination with other healthy habits to lower the risks of cardiovascular events and stroke.”

Note that this study only included leisure sedentary time. Taking occupation-related sedentary time into account, it’s likely that participants spent much longer sitting each day. People who work desk jobs, for example, may want to pay extra attention to this study. After getting off work, exercising is probably the last thing on your mind, but it may help prevent a stroke.

Final Thoughts on a Study Showing How Too Much Leisure Time Increases Stroke Risk

Sadly, young people today have a higher stroke risk due to several factors, including a sedentary lifestyle. A new American Heart Association study found that excess sedentary time (eight or more hours per day) more than quadruples stroke risk in young adults. It’s even worse when comparing inactive adults to highly active adults – the risk increases by seven times.

This study proves the importance of being at least moderately physically active. Instead of watching a show or scrolling social media after work, go for a walk instead. It just might save your life.

9 Reasons Why You Should Fight For Your Relationship

August 31, 2021 by Kristen Butler

What could be more divinely inspired than to find your soul mate? When you’re with the one you love, the world seems like a brighter place. Although the best of relationships will have their rocky moments, you still have reason to fight for yours.

It takes two people to make a loving relationship work. Since nobody’s perfect, it’s reasonable to assume that there’s no such thing as an ideal relationship. You may have found yourself “happily ever after,” but you and your person will occasionally be conflicted.

Do you feel like your relationship is inferior just because you have the occasional argument? According to an article by Study Finds, even couples married for decades can get into arguments. It’s a way to learn and grow as a couple if it’s done fairly.

Nine Reasons To Fight For Relationships

When a couple has no disagreements, one partner isn’t true to themselves. The underlying complacency and invalidated opinions can be more damaging to a relationship than an argument. It’s easier to agree when couples argue their points in the right way.

1. Most Problems Can be Worked Out

As long as two people are in the relationship, you’ll always have a different opinion. The way you were raised and your point of view may not always be consistent with your partner’s beliefs and vice versa. Some of these differences are bound to cause occasional disagreements.

However, you needn’t let these minor differences fester into more significant issues and tear you apart. You can fight for your relationship by being willing to work out your problems. While they may never be solved entirely, you can both find ways to agree and disagree kindly.

Learn to be an active listener and listen to what your person says. Try to mirror their emotions and be empathetic to their viewpoint. Most relationship problems can be solved when you listen to one another and make compromises where necessary.

2. You’re Each Other’s Soulmate

Do you believe that you’ve found your soulmate? Then you must fight for your relationship because it was meant to be. Just because they are your one-and-only doesn’t mean your life together will always be a bed of roses.

How do you know if this person is the one? While intimacy is vital in a healthy relationship, it goes beyond the physical aspects. You realize that not only are you fulfilled with them, but you don’t want to be without them. If your spiritual bond is this close, why would you not do everything to keep your love alive?

If you can’t fight for your relationship, you may be dishonest with yourself. Maybe you don’t love each other enough to make it work. In this case, take a hint from the Universe and go your separate ways.

Do you have enough love to do anything to save your relationship? Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should stay in a relationship that’s toxic or abusive. It’s just the urge to know that you both have created a beautiful thing you want to keep.

Are you at a crossroads with your partner and considering whether to stay or leave? This is the most challenging decision. However, your love and commitment can help you weather the storms.

Anything worth keeping, like your relationship, is also worth defending. Is your mate your one, and you want it to stay that way? Here are nine reasons you should take a stand and fight for your relationship:

3. How Will They Know?

Maybe you are part of a budding romance and haven’t fully expressed your feelings for one another. This is common, especially if you’re unsure of yourself due to past broken relationships. One of the best ways to show your person that you mean business is if you’re willing to stand up for your relationship.

Remember the poetic lines of Alfred Lord Tennyson that it’s better if you have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Determine that you will put your heart on the line for love. Your love interest will never know how you feel until you show how meaningful your relationship is to you.

Show them that your heart means business and share your feelings. You’ll probably discover that they were nervous about approaching you, too. Don’t keep your emotions buried.

4. Relationships Require Hard Work

Who’s ever succeeded without investing time, resources, and energy? Sometimes couples forget that love is more of choice rather than an emotion. In the beginning, the butterflies and giddiness you both had were infatuations, not true love.

Even if you believe it was love at first sight for you both, your love must be tenderly cultivated. Just as a gardener puts time and effort into raising a bountiful harvest, a relationship also requires hard work. You must fight for your relationship to keep your love going strong.

Relationships are about spending quality time with each other and making the right sacrifices when necessary. It’s about seeking to know each other’s hearts and souls and what brings them joy. Although cultivating a lifelong relationship is tough, you’ll be glad you did.

5. Your Relationship is In Your Hands

Remember the old saying that it isn’t over until it’s over? You may be a couple, but you are still individuals who have the power to stay in the relationship or call it quits. In the heat of the moment, you may think everything is over when it isn’t.

If you and your partner love each other, don’t let a disagreement destroy what you have. When you fight for your relationship, you both maintain that loving decision to mend what’s broken. It’s a power that should never be taken lightly.

6. Don’t Let it Be a Regret

Everyone has a few past regrets in the back of their mind. While you may have some, don’t let missing a beautiful relationship be one of them. Some of the most challenging words to echo in your memory are “if only” or “what if.”

Even if a potential relationship doesn’t come to fruition, you have the satisfaction you tried. You’ll not lie on your pillow at night and wonder why you didn’t fight for your relationship. Refuse to let words go unsaid and leave love undone.

7. They Still Fight For You

Of course, sometimes you’re in love but can’t stand each other for the moment. It’s normal for couples, and it will pass. One of the most substantial encouragements to fight for your relationship is when your mate is fighting for you.

You wouldn’t feel significant in their life if you weren’t important enough to fight to keep. When those occasional spats hit the fan, does your person try to work out things rather than walk away? If they are committed to you, you owe it to them and yourself to be equally determined.

8. You’re Still Best Friends

Nobody in a potential relationship wants to be called a “friend.” It carries the connotation that the relationship won’t be any more than casual and platonic. However, most long-time couples will admit that their relationship was based on a deep friendship.

Being each other’s best friends can cultivate a loving relationship for years. Friendship doesn’t imply a lack of intimacy. Instead, it shows that you’re linked together emotionally and spiritually also.

Consider that this is the person with whom you can share your dreams, fears, and vulnerability. You see each other at your best and worst. As individuals, you know your flaws but love each other anyway.

You may need space for a while after a nasty argument. If you can still say you’re best friends at the end of the day, you know you have something special. Fighting for your relationship is worth it for you and your mate.

9. Getting Beyond the Past

You’re willing to overlook some simple faults and failures whenever you’re in love. Everyone makes mistakes and needs to ask for forgiveness. However, there may be some transgressions in your relationship that can’t be fixed.

Words said in the heat of an argument can’t be forgotten. When you forgive each other, you’re not offering an excuse.

You give each other the freedom to get past the wrong and promote healing as a couple. Perhaps you’ve had your share of tumultuous seasons with your partner. Maybe it’s too much to mend. However, if you’re both determined and are love bound, your relationship is worth saving.

Final Thoughts About Fighting for Your Love

You’ve invested too much in your relationship to let it go to pieces. It’s okay to disagree and have moments of doubt. However, when you truly are meant to be together, you will find a way to fight and preserve the precious gift you have been given.

4 Effective Ways To Heal From Bullying

August 31, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

It’s a sad fact that many people are bullied in their childhood. Worse still, there isn’t enough action taken to protect victims of bullying from the perpetrators in many cases. This lack of protection causes those victims to experience more pain than they should have ever been left to experience. That pain can follow them well into adulthood.

If you were bullied as a child, you might still be recovering from that trauma till today. It can feel like an impossible effort to try and fight those memories, but it can be done. Here are four practical ways to heal from bullying.

1. Acknowledge What Happened

It seems evident that if you know you need to heal from bullying, you’re therefore acknowledging the bullying you underwent in the past. But many people struggle to acknowledge the extent of that bullying fully, and without fully comprehending the scope of what you faced and endured, it’s not going to be possible to heal healthily.

Research shows that the most positive way to move on and grow from bullying is to accept it and recognize it realistically. Here are some ways that you might not be doing this and that you need to do to heal:

· Minimizing What Happened

As an adult, the bullying you may have experienced as a child may seem minimal, especially when you think about it through the lens of a grown-up. But what happened to you was real, and it was severe, and the perspective of your child self felt that bullying severely. If it felt horrible to you, it’s because it was awful, not because you exaggerated it or were overly sensitive, and that’s important to acknowledge.

· Blaming Yourself

Many victims of any abuse, including bullying, end up blaming themselves for what went wrong. You might believe that you could have handled it better. Perhaps you think you should have stood up for yourself or put up a fight. Or maybe you think you did something to incur the bullying. But that’s not true, and this is not one of the situations where there’s any responsibility you need to accept. The people who bullied you behaved cruelly, and there is no justification for that.

· Being Too Ashamed

When you feel ashamed of what happened to you, you may feel tempted to avoid thinking about it or addressing it at all. It can be tough to try and look at or focus on how you were bullied and the specific ways you were harmed, or what was done to you. But this shame will not benefit you, and there is nothing that you have to be ashamed of. The shame falls on the perpetrators for behaving so terribly, and pride falls on you for surviving.

· Dismissing What Happened

You’ve seen your bully grow up and become a better person, and maybe they’ve even directly apologized to you. So, you try to dismiss it and consider everything done and dusted. But that’s not how life works! Apologizing for something doesn’t reverse its effects. It is okay to still focus on healing after the issue is “technically” sorted out. Your pain is valid, and it’s not something a few apologies can undo.

2. Talk To Others

Many people try to heal from bullying alone, but not only is that often not possible, but it’s also often a bad idea in general. Isolating yourself is unlikely to have any positive effects, and research shows that it’s a worryingly common behavior by victims and survivors of bullying.

It would be best if you talked to the people around you to heal, so don’t let yourself fall into the trap of isolation. Here are some ways to talk to others to aid your recovery:

· Seek Supportive Circles

You are not alone in overcoming your trauma from bullying. Your friends, family, and loved ones can lend you a kind and welcoming ear and a shoulder to cry on, and there are also plenty of recovery support circles where you can share your experiences, help others, and be helped in turn. These positive circles will help to uplift you and remind you that you don’t have to do this momentous task of recovery by yourself.

· Get Trauma Counseling or Therapy

There is a lot of stigma around the concept of seeing a therapist, but there really shouldn’t be! There is no shame in needing professional help, as mental health is just as important as physical health and requires just as much care and expertise. When you’re trying to heal from bullying, a professional can guide you through the complexities of such an effort with a gentle, knowledgeable, and unbiased hand. If your bullying stems from childhood, studies indicate that you should seek a therapist specializing in that kind of trauma.

· Teach Your Children

You can’t change the past and what happened to you, but you can influence the future. If you have children or regularly look after kids, use your experiences to teach them about empathy, accountability, and compassion towards others. These lessons will prevent them from engaging in bullying behavior. You should also teach them what bullying is like and how to protect themselves or best react to it, allowing you to shield the next generation from the pain you faced. It can feel incredibly empowering to take that into your own hands!

3. Be Kind To Yourself As You Heal From Bullying

It’s impossible to heal from the trauma of any kind when you’re cruel to yourself. You need to support yourself through the process. If you treat yourself the way the bullies treated you, it’s pretty easy to see why you won’t be able to heal. Here are some tips for being kind to yourself:

· Remember Your Worth

People who face bullying often have their self-esteem sink due to the verbal and physical abuse they endured, say studies. When you get pushed around a lot, you might have started to believe the insults levied against you, or you might have even thought that you deserved to this poor treatment. But that’s not the truth, and your worth has never been defined by how others treated you or what they said. Remember that you are a valuable person. So think about your strength, the features of yourself that you like, and even what your loved ones like about you.

· Be Patient

Recovery is a long, arduous journey, and it’s not often linear. It can take years for you to heal from the trauma you have from bullying, which research very much validates. Maintaining positive thinking and being gentle and patient with your little steps in the right direction is endlessly important. You can’t rush recovery if you want it to be done right, and you have to expect that you’ll take a few steps back among your steps forward.

· Be Proud Of How Far You’ve Come

In your recovery process, you’ve taken many small steps in the right direction. No matter how small it seems or feels, every little win is something to be celebrated and appreciated. Be grateful and utilize positive thinking to pat yourself on the back from all the things you’ve achieved. Remember, there is no such thing as going “too slowly.” Your progress is impressive, no matter how small it seems to be!

4. Adopt A More Positive Mindset

A lot of people who faced bullying in childhood have their adulthood mindset entirely shaped by those experiences. You may get caught in your own mind or think in negative ways. As a result, your subconscious may cling to the lessons you learned for survival, even if they don’t serve you any longer.

It’s one of the most difficult steps of healing from bullying. But adopting positive thinking and learning to redirect your focus as needed is crucial to recovery. Here are some tips for adopting that mindset:

· Live In The Here And Now As You Heal From Bullying

Bullying can leave you stuck in the past as you reminisce and ruminate on what you went through. While it is important to learn from your past experiences, you also need to let that past go. Learn the necessary lessons, and then focus on living your daily life. Mindfully living each day one at a time and based on the many new things you’ve experienced in life is the key to experiencing a more positive mindset that facilitates recovery.

· Focus On Your Own Growth

It’s easy to rely so much on the opinions and thoughts of others when you have a history of bullying trauma. You’ve spent so long hearing bad people’s insults and feeling like you deserve the negative treatment you’ve received that you automatically desire the validation of others. Start changing your mindset to focus on what you want and what makes you happy. Create safe spaces for yourself. Perform activities and hobbies that you love. Think about what helps you and where you want to be. Move towards your goals. Your journey should be entirely about you, not about what others think of you.

· Release Negative Emotions

There are all sorts of feelings from your past that continue to control you till today. All of those pent-up feelings can poison your life, and all that repression will only make those feelings worse. It’s not possible to truly forget all your experiences. Nor is it a good idea to deny emotions or invalidate them. However, you do need to understand that the old pain you have must be released. It doesn’t serve you anymore and should no longer be controlling your life. Even if it feels familiar to you, it isn’t helping you. Let go of your guilt, anger, depression, anxiety, and negative feelings that are remnants of your bullying trauma.

Final Thoughts On Some Effective Ways To Heal From Bullying

Bullying is immature and hurtful behavior. Although it is a result of the pain of the bullier, its effects are undeniably severe on the victims of these actions. You are not responsible for what happened to you, and your bullies don’t deserve any of your shame or guilt. Knowing this as you work through acknowledging what happened, talking to others, practicing self-compassion, and using positive thinking will help you heal from the bullying you faced.

6 Ways Empathy Helps You Win Good Friends

August 31, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Many people want to have a circle of good friends, even if it’s just a small one. Social support is, after all, an important part of human life, and it’s natural for us to want to form communities with others.

However, this isn’t an easy task for everyone! The world is full of different kinds of people with unique behaviors, opinions, and desires that finding, making, and keeping good friends can be difficult.

The good news is that your ability to gain positive friends often stems from you and your own traits. Empathy, which is the ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their struggles, can help you in that endeavor. Here are six ways empathy helps you win good friends.

1. Empathy Helps Your Communication Skills

Just how are you supposed to connect to others? For many people, empathy is the key. And it’s easy to see why! With the help of empathy, you’ll likely find yourself:

Visualizing and internalizing how the other party must be feeling
Considering the situation from their point of view
Reconsidering your own perspective of things and how it may influence others
Avoiding misunderstandings, as you can better interpret what someone else is trying to get across
Adapting your own thoughts and explanations so that you can resonate better with the other person

And that’s not all! Empathy isn’t limited to just thoughts and words. It also helps you better pick up on subtler nonverbal cues as well.

For example:

You’ll pay closer attention to intonation and body language for further context
You take into account the history and experiences of the person and how it may explain their current situation and behavior
You’ll recognize the context they’re in is an important consideration you have to keep in mind as well

As a result, you’ll find yourself better communicating with the other party and enjoy positive conversations!

2. It Is Key To Human Community and Making Good Friends

Pick up the closest book, or watch a movie. You may have noticed that some of the key things these stories center around are the protagonist’s relationship with others or its lack. And there’s a good reason for that!

As humans, we are genetically hardwired to crave close, positive, and meaningful connections with others – which is why many of us have at least some capacity for empathy! According to studies, this is done by the brain releasing oxytocin to motivate us to group up with others.

Some of the reasons for this genetic predisposition is:

Help protect ourselves from outside threats
To better understand and relate to others in our social circle
Encourages us to trust and work closely with each other
Better integration ourselves with the norms and cultural differences of a group

This all then allows us to form beneficial bonds that can help assist each other. But how does empathy factor into this equation? It actually helps us by:

Allowing us to feel compassion for others, strengthening our ability to connect with them emotionally
Encouraging us to look out for those around us and closest to us
It motivates us to care and show compassion for those in our social group
It pushes us to create positive bonds and relationships with everyone

3. It Increases Cultural Competence

The internet may have made our vast world smaller, but that doesn’t mean we get to see all of it. We may find ourselves easily caught up in groups and communities that share the same mindset and cultural experiences – which isn’t always great!

Figuring out the reason behind why it’s so important to have friends from various cultures isn’t that hard to figure out. For starters, it:

It helps expose us to ideas and concepts we have never heard of before
Broadens our views and horizons about the world around us
Introduces us to experiences we may otherwise have never experienced second hand
It prompts us to think about how we view the world and why we view it the way we do
Encourages us to take other perspectives and needs into account
It teaches us how to interact and listen to the viewpoints of others who are coming from different backgrounds and experiences

As you can imagine, these reasons are all crucial factors to encouraging our social and emotional growth as a person – and they all hinge on you learning how to grow and practice your empathetic skills. These skills can then be applied to all sorts of cultural contexts and situations!

For example:

This study talks about how important it is for clinicians to have empathy and cultural context to better communicate with their adolescent patients and gain their trust.
Another study showed how empathy and understanding allowed white people to reconsider and change their interracial interactions with black men for the better.
You learn how to work alongside people from different backgrounds and cultures.
It’s easier to focus on positive thinking in the context of dealing with a social group that’s foreign to you.

And these are all positives you otherwise wouldn’t get if it weren’t for empathy!

4. It Allows You To Forge Close Relationships

Just about any relationship expert will tell you that all relationships, be they platonic, romantic, or familial, are highly dependent on open and direct communication between the parties involved. But even within that, there’s another special ingredient that’s necessary – empathy.

But how can empathy help with that? Here are a few ways that empathy can help smooth over the rough patches you may be dealing with in your bonds with your loved ones. Or even with your coworkers and superiors!

You truly take the time to listen and pay attention to their struggles and worries.
Taking the time to consider how the situation may be like from their point of view and what the context there might be that’s crucial to their understanding of the situation
You care about the other person’s needs and well-being and consider it an important priority.

As a result, this all then allows you to:

Achieve mutual understanding and respect between you and your loved ones
Understand and see them for who they actually are – not who you think they are
Encourages you to consider a situation from their point-of-view, with their history and experiences and understanding in mind, so you can better understand how they’re affected
It helps you to negotiate and take into account the wants and needs of your loved ones

5. It Helps To Improve The World

These days, it feels like the world is just too vast for us to really enact any true sense of change. How can you, one single person, do anything to change how cold and cruel the world can be? It makes positive thinking a tough challenge as a result.

Surprisingly, there’s actually a lot you can do – but you have to think of it as changing the world, one step at a time. You gotta remember, you don’t live in a vacuum. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, your actions have very tangible consequences!

Here’s an example scenario of how your impact may play out, far beyond what you can see.

You take the time to listen to someone and show them kindness and empathy
They feel supported and listened to, which pushes them forward
They then can have enough energy and support to carry on with their causes or even support other people in turn

The cycle then repeats itself in a ripple effect and gradually helps make the world a better place. Get enough people doing these small acts of kindness, and pretty soon, you’ll find that the world will be a kinder and more caring place. In this way, this is how empathy can change the world!

Here Are Six Ways You Can Be a Good Friend

If it still feels like the task and burden are too much, here are a few simple acts of empathy you can carry out as a starting point. Remember: you don’t need to perform some grandiose action. Sometimes:

Being there in person can be enough
You need to listen and nod in understanding
Vocally voicing your support and love for someone can be a massive source of encouragement.
Asking them if you can sit with them or help do their laundry or chores can help
Volunteering your time, effort, or money to bigger organizations can be of incredible help.
You have to realize that your single voice calling up your local political representative or administration adds to a protest against injustice and harm.

Channel that empathy, and let it fuel you to at least sit with your beloved grandparent if that’s all you can do. Soon, you’ll find that no act is ever too small to make the world a better place.

6. It Teaches You To Handle Disagreements Healthily

Arguments and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. After all, both you and the other party are two different people. It’s only natural that somehow, somewhere, both of you will find that there’s something you’ll clash upon!

In this regard, empathy can be of great help. Empathy helps you to:

Consider how the situation must look like from the other person’s point-of-view, by fully taking into account their own knowledge, skills, experiences, and history
Acknowledge validate the feelings being experienced by the other party
Factor in their wants, needs, and desires during a discussion
Work together with the other party to come to a solution you can both agree on
Adapt your thoughts and words in a way that allows the other party to understand you better
Ensure that their learning styles are being accounted for and utilized while explaining your side of the issue

If both sides keep all of these in mind with a healthy dose of positive thinking and empathy, you’ll soon find discussions and disagreements to be an opportunity for growth!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways Empathy Helps You Win Good Friends

Empathy is an important trait, and while it isn’t the only thing you need for healthy friendships, it’s undeniably important in finding, making, winning, and keeping good friends. If you tend to struggle with empathy, don’t fret! You can learn to develop empathy over time, and cognitive empathy works just as well as natural empathy if it’s your only option!

Natural-Born Leaders Display These 13 Confident Behaviors

August 30, 2021 by Kristen Butler

There are many kinds of people and personalities in this world. However, folks can be categorized as leaders or followers. What classification do you fall into?

Are you a take-charge person that needs to be in control? Do people naturally flock to you for advice and guidance on matters? Perhaps, you prefer to follow the crowd and not stand out too much, and you especially don’t want to cause any issues.

Followers tend to melt into the background and listen to the leader rather than make any bold choices or ripples in the water. What makes a natural-born leader, and why are these people so strong and able to trailblaze through whatever comes their way? According to Psych Reg, these people are typical Type B personalities.

Understanding a Type B Personality

Rosenman and Friedman were responsible for the development of the personality types A and B. They did a study using 3,000 men to gather their analysis back in 1974. They classified type B as those who are highly directed and task-oriented.

They’re the first to learn and do new tasks, and they pick up things fast. They’re self-starters, so they don’t wait on others to get the ball rolling. While type A often has issues with their overall self-worth, the Type B personality is self-sufficient and has a relaxed view of life.

People flock to this person because they handle things without being too aggressive. They’re ambitious, but they do it in a way that is not overpowering. True leaders don’t have to use scare tactics or browbeat their people into following. They will observe and trust the instinct of this person because they lead by example.

The Confident Behaviors of The Natural Born Leader

Isaac was the first person on the playground that had new games to play and kept the other kids busy. He was always coming up with creative things for his friends and fellow students to do. At an early age, his teachers could see that he was a born leader, and he was the one other children looked up to and came to when they needed help.

Today, Isaac is running a company, and his employees are delighted to work for him. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty and help them, nor is he off playing golf while others work. He arrives at work before the office opens and stays long after it closes in the evening. He’s driven, and therefore his company is succeeding.

Do you see any parallels between you and this theoretical story? Here are some ways to tell if you’re one of the natural-born leaders that others tend to flock to.

1. Not Afraid to Speak Their Mind

One of the ways that natural-born leaders set themselves aside from others is how they aren’t afraid to speak their minds. They will challenge things that don’t sit right with them, and they’re not afraid to stand up to people for what they believe is right. While many folks lack the courage to go against the grain, a leader doesn’t have any issue shaking things up a bit.

2. They Won’t Settle for Mediocrity

When they take on the leadership role, they won’t settle for anything less than delivering an excellent outcome. They want things to be exceptional, not mediocre. They want only the best for themselves, their team, and the outcome of a project.

If someone isn’t happy with their company or service, they will go out of their way to change their opinion. They see each customer as valuable to their company, and they don’t want their reputation to be marred by one bad experience.

3. They’ll Never Let You See Them Sweat

One thing that is so fascinating about these people is that they can remain calm and relaxed no matter what’s come their way. They don’t get overly excited when trouble comes as they step into resolution mode. When the going gets tough, they get to work.

4. They Listen to Others

One of the reasons why leaders get things done and are well-liked is because they listen and care about the opinion of others. These people don’t think they know everything. While they’re confident, they still believe it’s important and valuable to listen to others.

5. They Face Things Head-On

It’s easy to run when things are looking bad, but they will face their obstacles head-on. There is no sweeping things under the rug and hoping that they go away, as they want to deal with the issue, find a resolution, and move on. Other folks might ignore it and pray it goes away, but you won’t find that method used when dealing with leaders.

6. They Think Outside the Box

Where would this country be if everyone conformed and listened to what they were told was acceptable? Leaders like to think outside the box, and they always want to reinvent or create ways or products that make life easier. Alessandro Volta was an Italian physicist who created electricity.

Though many people had their hand in the pot for creating this invention, it was Volta in 1800 that learned that a steady electric current could be produced from a volcanic pile. How many people do you think thought he was crazy? Back in those times, they used gas lamps, and homes didn’t have electricity as they do today.

However, thinking outside the box can allow magnificent things to happen that can benefit many people.

7. They Show Praise and Appreciation to Others

The leader is not too proud to tell someone when they’ve done an excellent job. People love working for them because they do give them the boost they need to be successful. From the management view, if the people who work under you don’t love their job and feel like they make a difference, it will affect the overall company reputation and productivity.

8. They’re Passionate About Life

Natural-born leaders have a zest for life that’s infectious. Their passion is so palpable that people around them can’t help but be affected by it. They are often fascinating folks to watch and be around because they can make going to work a bit more enjoyable.

9. They’re Empathetic

One reason why people are so attracted to this person is that they’re empathetic. They can feel the pain you’re going through, and they jump into “fix-it” mode to help you resolve the issue. They’re truly a friend and like to help whenever they can.

10. They Roll with The Punches

This person knows that life isn’t always going to go the way they want. They’ve had their fair share of heartbreaks and upsets, but they learn to roll with the punches. Rather than getting overly upset, they step into fixer mode to learn how to handle what life just threw their way.

11. They Have Great Flexibility

The key to being a great leader is not to be too rigid about things. You must be flexible because nothing ever goes as planned. They’re not going to get too worked up if something goes array, as they will see it as a learning experience and find another way to handle things.

12. They’re Always Optimistic

A leader learns to embrace the power of positivity. They always see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. Their helpful attitude and optimism is another reason why so many people like to be around them. They make you feel better about yourself as they have a way of leading people into being the best they can be.

13. They Have a Good Life Balance

Another wonderful thing about a leader is the fact that they can maintain a good life balance. They don’t overwork themselves and ignore their family at home. They know the importance of putting aside work for relaxation and play.

Perhaps most importantly, they know the importance of a healthy work-life balance. Thus, they don’t overwork their employees either. Taking time off for vacations and personal days is essential to them as it gives them the fuel they need to keep going.

Final Thoughts on Natural Born Leaders

Did you learn anything you didn’t know about leaders? Perhaps you tend to be a leader more so than a follower, or maybe you’re in-between. Being a leader is never bad, especially when they tend to be problem solvers, have empathy for others, live their life looking through optimistic lenses, and have an infectious zeal for life.

Unlike the Type A personality, who tends to have self-esteem issues and can be pretty aggressive in getting things done, the Type B personality has more than enough confidence. They don’t use aggression or blackmail, or any other tactics to complete the task at hand. They know that when they treat people right and pitch in to help, they will accomplish their goals.

How to Make a Refreshing Blueberry Banana Bread

August 29, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

Both dessert lovers and health-conscious folks can enjoy this delicious blueberry banana bread. It’s packed with natural sugars from fruit that make the bread flavorful without being overpowering. Those on a diet can also feel good about eating it because of the fresh, whole foods included in the recipe. Plus, it’s gluten-free, so anyone with wheat allergies or sensitivities won’t have to miss out on this mouthwatering bread. Are you ready to make some homemade bread that will make both your taste buds and waistline happy? Read on for the full recipe!

Here’s how to make a refreshing blueberry banana bread:

Give this a try. It tastes as good as it looks.

Kitchen tools you’ll need:

A large mixing bowl
Spoon
Whisk
Food processor
Knife
Bread pan
Parchment paper
Blender
Cutting board

Ingredients for bread:

2 cups oat flour
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1 tbsp flaxseed meal
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 ripe bananas
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup canned coconut milk
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 1/2 cups blueberries

Ingredients for blueberry frosting:

1/3 cup powdered sugar
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp oat milk
1/4 cup blueberries

Directions:

First, grab your mixing bowl and pour the oat flour into the bowl. Then, add the shredded coconut, flaxseed meal, baking powder, and baking soda. Whisk until fully combined.
Now, in your food processor, blend the ripe bananas, maple syrup, canned coconut milk, and lemon juice. Mix until all the lumps are gone, and the texture is smooth and creamy. Add the mixture to the large bowl with the flour and other ingredients.
Combine with a spoon thoroughly until you can no longer see the flour. It will have a thick, doughy consistency. Now, add the fresh blueberries and mix them into the dough with your spoon.
Next, get out your bread pan and line it with parchment paper. Use scissors to cut any extra paper off, and flatten it with your hands, so it hugs the pan. Add the dough to the pan, using a spatula, spoon, or your hands to “pat” it down.
Bake at 350 degrees F for 40 minutes. While it’s cooking, let’s make the frosting for your yummy blueberry banana bread!
To make the frosting or sauce, you’ll need the blender. Add the powdered sugar, lemon juice, oat milk, and blueberries, blending thoroughly.
Now, remove the bread from the oven. Once it’s cooled, take it out of the pan and remove the parchment paper.
Transfer it onto a cutting board and pour the blueberry banana bread frosting on top. Please place it in the fridge until the frosting hardens. This may take several hours or even overnight.
Once the frosting is hardened, use a large knife to slice the bread. Enjoy!

Pro tips on making the most delicious blueberry banana bread ever:

Some people say gluten-free bread is more dense and heavy than their gluten counterparts. If you find that your blueberry banana bread lacks moisture or fluffiness, we gathered a few tips from a gluten-free bread baker:
Add hydration. He says that gluten-free bread tends to absorb moisture more than bread with gluten. To remedy this, you can add carbonated water or even non-diet soda. The bubbles will add lightness to the batter. If you use non-diet soda and decide to add yeast to this recipe, the sugar will help activate the yeast more.
Mix the batter longer. For traditional batters, you don’t want to overmix them because they tend to get rubbery. However, the opposite is true for gluten-free bread. For this blueberry banana bread, try mixing the batter a bit longer. It will result in a better structure and more height in the dough.
Allow the dough to sit before baking. After mixing the ingredients and pouring in the pan, let the dough “rest” for about 30 minutes. This ensures maximum absorbency of liquids and a thicker, less sticky dough. It also helps soften the bread and yields a fluffier consistency.

Is the dough still wet or sticky even after the 40 minute bake time?

Leave it in a little longer – about fifteen to twenty minutes extra. This eliminates excess moisture and reduces gumminess in the dough.

Make sure to use fully ripe, spotty bananas. If they’re underripe, the bread won’t be nearly as sweet.
Want to add some fun toppings? Consider lemon zest, orange zest, white or regular chocolate chips, walnuts, shaved coconut, or sliced almonds!
Use room temperature ingredients only. Cold ingredients don’t mix as well as room-temperature ones.
Freeze or refrigerate leftovers in an airtight container. The blueberry banana bread should last a few days in the fridge and three to six months in the freezer.

Not only is this bread delicious, but it also packs a punch when it comes to nutrition too. Bananas have tons of potassium; in fact, a medium-sized banana contains about 9% of your DV, according to the National Institutes of Health. They also have about 20% of the recommended DV of Vitamin B6 and C. As for blueberries, they’re low in calories but high in nutrients as well. In one cup of fresh blueberries, you’ll consume about 4g of fiber, 116 mg of potassium, and 14.6 mg of Vitamin C. They only have about 80 calories per cup, plus they’re packed with antioxidants which boost immunity and ward off diseases.

Final thoughts on this homemade blueberry banana bread

If you need something to help cool you off this summer, why not try this refreshing blueberry banana bread? It’s loaded with essential vitamins and minerals and doesn’t take very long to make. You can easily store leftovers in the fridge or freezer as well. Pretty much everyone loves the classic banana bread, and the added blueberries in this recipe make it even better!

You may not think of bread as refreshing, but letting it cool in the fridge gives it a whole different vibe. The chilled blueberry frosting adds the perfect touch to this summer recipe. We hope you love this blueberry banana bread; let us know if you decide to make it!

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