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Indiana Town Changes Roads to Cut Carbon Emissions

October 27, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

A town in Indiana changed its roads as a way to cut carbon emissions and promote safety. Carmel, Indiana, boasts more roundabouts than any other city in the United States. They plan to continue installing them until no traffic lights and stop signs remain.

One street in Carmel has eleven roundabouts within three miles. The middle of these intersections (the island) in Carmel has artwork, the school mascot, and other fun decorations. In addition to the other benefits, they offer a unique way to improve a city and make it visually appealing.

Their most famous roundabout includes box hedges and a French-made bronze fountain with three tiers. It was named International Roundabout of the Year by the U.K. Roundabout Appreciation Society, a group of only six members. However, roundabouts are more than a pleasant sight as they offer many benefits to the town.

Adding roundabouts can cut carbon dioxide emissions and reduce the need for traffic lights while improving traffic flow. They allow for narrow roads, leaving space for pedestrians, grass, and other landscaping pieces. Roundabouts might seem tricky, but understanding the benefits can help you accept them.

What Are Roundabouts?

Roundabouts are compact circular roads with lower speed limits and fewer traffic stops. Vehicles move around a raised island, traveling counterclockwise. The curve forces drivers to slow down, allowing time to look for potential conflicts and move smoothly through the intersection.

These looping intersections require fewer traffic lanes and have smaller angles, decreasing the risk of fatal accidents. Additionally, they are pedestrian friendly with crosswalks outside, allowing for safe walks and bicycle rides.

These circular intersections are alternative options to traditional ones with traffic signals. All vehicles in a roundabout travel in the same direction so that they never have to cross paths. They promote more decision-making time due to the lower speeds, helping drivers make safer choices.

With no traffic lights to install and maintain, roundabouts are also beneficial for the city’s finances. The construction of these circular intersections costs nearly $125,000 less than traditional options. It allows the city to spend money in other areas, improving the aesthetic and functionality of the town.

How Roundabouts Cut Carbon Emissions

Without red lights and stop signs, people no longer have to sit in their running cars and idle for so long while waiting their turn. It reduces the amount of gasoline used, drastically cutting carbon emissions.

Not idling at stop lights also reduces tailpipe emissions. Looping intersections only require stopping until you find an opening in traffic, not having to wait for the light to change.

Studies show that installing roundabouts instead of traditional intersections with traffic lights can protect the environment and human health. It reduces carbon monoxide emissions by up to 45% and carbon dioxide emissions by up to 34%. It can also decrease nitrous emissions by up to 44% and hydrocarbon emissions by up to 40%.

These drastic cuts can make a difference in changing the world. Protecting the environment eases many issues, including climate change and health problems.

The Benefits of Cutting Carbon Emissions

Carbon emissions are gasses in the atmosphere and oceans. More than 80% of the energy used worldwide comes from fossil fuels. This number includes the energy used for electricity, heat production, and transportation.

Carbon emissions are the leading cause of global climate change. Countries with higher incomes and population numbers, including the United States and China, contribute the most to carbon emissions.

Experts indicate that reducing carbon emissions can improve air quality and human health. It also prevents economic losses. Carbon emissions contribute to global warming and air pollution that results in:

premature death
respiratory illness
dementia
hospitalizations
missed workdays
crop losses

Additionally, making immediate changes can help reduce the risk of heat deaths in the future. Carbon emissions will raise the world temperature, resulting in many issues, including more severe air pollution.

Other Ways to Reduce Carbon Emissions

Roundabouts can help cut carbon emissions, but there are things you can do on a personal level, too. You can take ownership of a positive change and know you did your part by making the following changes:

walk or ride your bike whenever possible
carpool or use public transportation
avoid speeding while driving
make sure you properly inflate your vehicle tires
maintain your vehicle
avoid being stuck in traffic
combine errands so that you don’t have to make as many trips
insulate and seal your home
choose energy-efficient appliances
turn lights off when not in use
use a programmable thermostat to save energy
add solar panels to your home
eat locally-produced, organic food
use less water to reduce energy usage
reuse products or buy them used
recycle whatever you can
support clean alternatives to fossil fuels
unplug anything you’re not using
use cold water for laundry
avoid using the clothes dryer
use excess water from the kitchen to water your plants
switch out your lightbulbs for energy-efficient options
opt for online billing rather than getting paper in the mail
turn off your computer
consume less red meat
don’t leave your car running
buy a smaller vehicle
plant trees
avoid fast fashion (trendy clothes)
don’t upgrade electronics until it’s necessary
compost food scraps and organic matter
donate things you no longer need
use your dishwasher to use less water
plant an organic garden and grow herbs or vegetables at home

How Do Roundabouts Promote Public Safety?

Traditional intersections frequently have right-angle, left-turn, and head-on collisions. These collisions can lead to death because many drivers may travel at high speeds through traffic lights. Reduced traffic speed and same-direction travel make roundabouts a beneficial alternative.

Research shows that roundabouts reduce the number of traffic injuries and fatalities. Other studies target Carmel specifically and show that 64 of their looping intersections have reduced injury crashes by nearly 50%. That percentage jumps for other intersections and decreases for two-lane areas.

Roundabouts only have eight potential conflict points for vehicles, while traditional intersections have 32. The 32 points leave much room for human error, resulting in crashes, injury, or death. While eight conflict points aren’t foolproof, it does alleviate the risk of being in an accident.

Some people think roundabouts are confusing and don’t want them in their town. However, once they learn to use them, they may appreciate the improved safety, environmental protection, and gas savings.

These intersections help prevent head-on collisions and high-speed right-angle vehicle accidents. The decreased risk can help drivers feel calm and aware of their surroundings. Additionally, the average cost of damages from accidents significantly reduces when roundabouts are present.

Without traffic lights, there’s no need for the electricity used at stoplights. Plus, roundabouts won’t stop working after a storm like traffic lights, preventing motorist confusion and traffic accidents. So, in addition to curbing carbon emissions, this infrastructure increases public safety.

Tips for Using Roundabouts

The benefits of roundabouts take time to get used to, but you may find that you enjoy them. If you’ve never driven in a roundabout, learning some tips can help you. These tips can also help if you feel uncomfortable navigating one-lane intersections:

slow down as you approach the roundabout
watch for the pedestrian crossing signs to allow people to cross safely
look left before entering the roundabout
wait until there is a gap in traffic to enter
don’t stop when you’re in a roundabout
use your turn signal when exiting
drive fifteen to twenty mph
don’t switch lanes while in the roundabout
watch for the pedestrian crossing signs to allow people to cross safely

Using two-lane roundabouts is a little different. You can follow the above tips, but also consider the following:

avoid entering next to buses, trucks, and trailers as they might need multiple lanes
stay in the left lane to exit to the left and the right for right turns
choose either traffic lane for going straight
follow posted signs

As a cyclist or pedestrian, using a roundabout is a little different. These tips include

use hand signals so that others know your intent
merge with traffic when riding on the road
watch your speed
stay aware of other cyclists, walkers, and vehicles
use the crosswalks
don’t cut across the middle

Final Thoughts on the Indiana Town That Changed Their Roads to Cut Carbon Emissions

Carmel, Indiana, uses roundabouts to do their part in cutting carbon emissions. Not only are these intersections beneficial for the environment, but they’re safer and more cost-effective. While learning to navigate a roundabout might sound scary, it doesn’t have to be. You can follow the traffic signs and utilize the tips above to make the shift easier. Once you learn how to use them, you can embrace the benefits and flow through without trouble. Carmel sets a precedent and plans to keep installing roundabouts until all their stop signs and traffic lights are gone. Other cities will likely follow suit, although perhaps not to the same extent. With looping intersections becoming increasingly popular, you’ll want to increase your comfort level with the circular roads.

Counselor Explains the Misuse of the Word Narcissist

October 27, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

The “narcissist” label gets thrown around often in today’s world. We call people narcissists for taking too many selfies or bragging about their latest achievements. However, this detracts from those who have a clinically diagnosable narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and some people have higher levels of the trait than others.

Labeling everyone a narcissist trivializes the condition and ignores truly self-destructive behaviors. For instance, people who have NPD and need treatment may evade detection. Also, those suffering at the hands of narcissistic individuals might avoid seeking help. Since the word narcissist gets overused so often, they might minimize their suffering, justifying it by saying they’re just overreacting.

In other words, labeling everyone as a narcissist makes the term meaningless. It reduces a pathological condition to a simple insult and may even cause people to diagnose themselves with NPD mistakenly. For example, they might confuse their confidence and attention-seeking behaviors as a full-blown disorder.

While most believe narcissism is on the rise, the prevalence of NPD remains relatively stable. Experts estimate that only up to 6.2% of the U.S. population suffers from NPD. We’ll discuss how the term narcissist gets overused and the signs of true narcissism below.

Why Labeling Everyone a Narcissist Causes Harm

Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, talked about her experience with a 13-year-old client named Sally. An article on Psychology Today explained that the young girl’s family signed her up for therapy.

They said she had communication problems at home and hoped Gillis could help. However, the therapist quickly discovered that the girls’ parents had only projected their issues onto their daughter. For example, they rejected the idea of family therapy and believed that Sally was the real problem. In one of her therapy sessions, Sally asked Gillis what a ‘narcissist’ meant.

Taken aback by the question, Gillis asked the young girl where she’d heard the word. Sally quietly replied that her dad called her a narcissist. She figured it meant something terrible but didn’t know the weight of the term at such a young age.

Gillis learned that Sally’s father scored high on NPD traits, unsurprisingly. He had projected his shame and toxicity onto his innocent daughter, unaware of the consequences.

Often, adults mistake normal teenage behaviors for something more serious, which may explain the overuse of the term narcissist. However, it can inflict lasting damage on impressionable children when used as a tool to control them.

Since Sally brought it up in therapy, it seemed to affect her profoundly. Gillis said they continue to work on her self-esteem, and she reassures Sally that her behavior isn’t abnormal or unhealthy.

Sadly, this story represents one of many cases where people misuse the term narcissist. Some pop culture magazines and articles have even labeled entire generations narcissists, like Millennials and Gen Z.

The rise of selfies, social media accounts, and individualism can make it seem like we live in a narcissistic era. However, just because people display certain behaviors does not mean they have a personality disorder. Accurately diagnosing someone requires careful observation by a trained mental health professional.

Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Is someone you know a narcissist? A person must begin displaying a persistent pattern of grandiosity and lack of empathy by early adulthood to meet the diagnostic criteria. In addition, having at least five of these traits qualifies for an NPD diagnosis, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5):

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (embellishes or exaggerates achievements, expects others to recognize their superiority).
Frequently fantasizes about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love.
Expects special treatment from others and only associates with other “special” people (or institutions).
Requires excessive admiration and praise and may get angry when ignored.
Has a sense of entitlement and has unreasonable expectations of others).
Exploits and takes advantage of others to appease their desires.
Lacks empathy and isn’t willing to listen to others’ needs.
Acts jealous toward others and incorrectly believes others feel jealous of them.
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes, including disrespect for authority.

People who meet the diagnostic criteria for NPD don’t usually seek treatment because they don’t recognize any issues. Many have a high level of self-awareness but don’t see a problem with their actions. But if their loved ones notice the detrimental behavior and explain how it impacts them, they might concede to getting help.

Choose Your Words Wisely

Because we’re all wired for self-preservation, it’s easy to see how narcissism gets misconstrued. Simply existing in this world requires some level of self-absorption to survive. However, it becomes a pathological condition when someone displays these traits excessively.

While we prioritize protecting ourselves, we can also cooperate with others. When a person seems uninterested or unwilling to understand others’ needs, it can signal a more significant problem.

Remember that words hurt if you feel tempted to call someone a narcissist. You may not mean any harm, but it can cause severe psychological damage, especially for victims of narcissistic abuse. Unfortunately, having a parent or partner with NPD can increase the risk of developing PTSD or other mental disorders.

Generally, speaking kindly to one another is crucial and avoiding name-calling. You never know how your words might affect someone, after all.

Final Thoughts on the Overuse of the Word Narcissist

People call each other narcissists over minor things, such as taking too many pictures of themselves. However, everyone displays some degree of narcissism to survive. It only poses a problem when the behavior harms others or impairs a person’s ability to function. Psychologists have begun sounding the alarm on the mislabeling of narcissism.

Calling someone a narcissist trivializes the condition and discourages people from getting the help they need. It also downplays the suffering that victims of narcissistic abuse experience. So, we should always be aware of how we speak to one another, as words can either hurt or heal.

Clear Your Mind With 15 After Work Activities

October 27, 2022 by Chris Butler

Working every day takes a lot out of you. When you get home from your job, what you do in this time before you go to sleep counts. It would help if you had things to clear your mind and rid yourself of the negativity you’ve ingested during the day.

You may feel in a rut, especially if you go home from work, flop on the couch, and binge-watch your favorite shows. If you want to get out of this place where you feel stuck, you must mix things up a bit. If you do the same old thing all the time, you can’t expect your life to be any different than it is now.

Fifteen Ways to Clear Your Mind After Work

You can do many activities in the evening that can give your brain a quick reboot. If you feel stuck and stressed out with your daily routine, why not try a few activities to help you tidy and clear your mind?

1. Take a Bubble Bath to Clear Your Mind After Work

When it comes to relaxing activities, bubble baths are almost always included. Why is this time spent soaking in the tub so invigorating? According to Dr. Amy Zack from The Cleveland Clinic, soaking in a tub may do more for you than ease your stress.

She states that soaking in a tub of 104-degree water for thirty minutes can enhance your sleep by releasing stress and tension. It can also help to regulate your serotonin levels, which will keep your mood balanced.

2. Meditate

You pick up a lot of negativities in your day, which can be part of why you want to crash when you get home. However, meditation is the key to releasing all these pent-up feelings.

You’re clearing your mind and releasing things that hinder you when you meditate. It’s no wonder it’s used for people under extreme stress to help them with panic and anxiety.

3. Go Geocaching to Clear Your Mind After Work

If you’ve never been Geocaching, you don’t know what you’re missing. Think of it as a scavenger hunt for adults. It’s dubbed the world’s giant treasure hunt, with more than three million users worldwide. Of those users, 361,000 live in the United States.

According to their company information page, the first hunt was in Beaverton, Oregon, in 2000. Now, you can go on a scavenger hunt in over 191 different countries. Follow the coordinates using the map and hints, find the catch, take something from the box, and leave something else for the next scavenger hunter.

If you want to clear your mind after work, then a good old fashion scavenger hunt may be the excitement you need.

4. Volunteer

Sometimes the best diversions in life are the ones where you give of yourself to help others. There are people in your city that have things way worse than you. Some hungry people probably live on your street.

Learn ways to give back in your local community to help those less fortunate, and you may gain a whole other perspective about the world around you. It’s easy to stress about things that overwhelm you, but some people pray for the things you have and take them for granted.

5. Ride Your Bike

Cycling is an excellent way to exercise, and it’s a great activity to clear your mind. If you’re an enthusiast, you might want to try the new hydro cycles that let you bike across the water; talk about exciting. You can burn significant calories, get out in nature, and improve flexibility by moving your joints and muscles.

6. Try a New Hobby

Numerous hobbies can be done at any time of the year. Find something that gets you out of the house and allows you to socialize with people. Check your local area for bowling teams, Fantasy Football groups, and other people who enjoy a little release after a long day.

7. Yoga

Some people would never go to the gym to do a workout, seeing it as drudgery. However, yoga can be a great way to get your body moving and your heart pumping in a fun manner. The wonderful thing about this exercise form is that it can be modified for your skill level and needs.

8. Journaling

If you’re not journaling about your day, it’s time to turn over a new leaf. Journaling is an excellent way to help you keep track of your thoughts and life. You can use your journal as a place to vent or a place to monitor your progress. Your dear diary is the friend who never judges you and always waits where you left off.

9. Clear You Mind After Work With a DIY Project

Is there a project around your home that you want to tackle? Maybe you want to tear down a wall, add hardwood floors, or paint those outdated kitchen cabinets. Spending a little time and energy improving your home will get you moving and make your space more to your liking. Put some great music on, grab a glass of wine, and let your DIY juices flow.

10. Organize Your Space to Clear Your Mind After Work

Did you know that a messy and chaotic home often reflects the inside of your mind? It’s a strange fact that’s been proven. Researchers at Columbia’s Teachers College found that students from well-organized homes had a more remarkable ability to organize their studies and make good grades.

However, students who came from more messy homes struggled with their schoolwork. Your atmosphere affects you in greater ways than you imagined, so clean it up. Get rid of the things you don’t need and free yourself from the excess junk. It’s invigoration to redeem your space from the clutter that tries to restrict you.

11. Exercise

If you want to clear your mind, you need to move your body. Sure, you can hit the gym for a sweaty good time, but you don’t have to leave your home if you so desire. You can find something to do to get your blood pumping, even if it’s dancing to good music.

12. Get Out in Nature

Get outside! Whatever you do, you need to spend more time in nature. According to the National Library of Medicine, about 42 percent of the population is deficient in vitamin D, and the amount of time you spend outdoors is at the crux of the issue.

Being among the trees and feeling the gentle breeze blow against your skin is healing. Add the sun’s golden rays to that mix, and you’ve got a serotonin boost from Mother Nature.

13. Visit an Art Museum or Gallery

Why not immerse yourself in culture by doing something fascinating like visiting an art gallery? Nearly every city in the country has easy access to some museum or gallery for you to enjoy. Art is an inspiration and allows you to view the world from different lenses.

14. Engage in Photography to Clear Your Mind After Work

Do you like taking pictures? Did you know you can make extra money using your creative side? Photography is a fun hobby that has a high demand for quality work.

People are always looking for pictures to use on websites and blog posts when the seasons change. Why not have some fun and make extra money while you clear your mind?

15. Visit Friends and Loved Ones

Sometimes it’s effortless to get caught up in your world and all the drama it entails. Do you have people you want to see in your life but always say you never have time? Why not carve out a few weekly hours to connect with those you love and miss?

No one is promised tomorrow, and one day you may want to see someone special, and they will no longer be there. At the end of your life, things don’t matter as much as those who’ve made it great. Make time for those who mean the most to you.

Laughing and reminiscing about the good times can help you to clear your mind and to be more present in the moment. Quit borrowing trouble from tomorrow, and you must learn to start living today.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Clear Your Mind After Work

There are a lot of negativities in the world around you, and it’s easy to get sucked into its grip. There’s much uncertainty and stress in your job and life. It’s effortless to feel anxious and on edge due to all you face.

Sadly, allowing these feelings to penetrate you can destroy your mental and physical well-being. You need healthy outlets to channel the angst you feel and clear your mind. By incorporating a few of the activities listed, you can take control of your evenings and your life.

Stop wallowing on the couch and binge-watching TV shows when you can be engaging with others and make the most of your time. Sure, it’s okay to watch TV sometimes, but you should be focused on activities that will enhance your health.

100-Year-Old Man Sets World Record Working 84 Years at Same Company

October 27, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

When Walter Orthmann was only fourteen, he began his journey toward setting a world record. He worked for the same textile company in Brazil for more than 84 years, catching the attention of Guinness World Records. The Guinness World Records tracks and recognizes the best achievements in the world.

They use fair methods to keep track of record-breaking achievements. According to their website, it began as a way to solve pub arguments. When Sir Hugh Beaver couldn’t find specific answers in reference books, he came up with the idea for Guinness to create a book.

Beaver enlisted the help of Norris and Ross McWhirter, twins who were also fact-finding researchers. The first Guinness World Records book took lots of work, including 90-hour work weeks leading up to publication in 1955. The hard work seemed to pay off as the book became a best seller and a highly trusted brand.

Orthmann’s achievement in the Guinness World Record came after working for 84 years at the same company. No one else had ever worked for the same company for so long, and he passed the record guidelines.

How Orthmann Started His World Record Journey

In January of 1938, Orthmann began his work at Industrias Renaux S.A. His family struggled financially, and it was common for children to work in those days. Orthmann told the Guinness World Records, “Back in 1938, kids were expected to work to help support the family. As the oldest son of five, my mother took me to find a job at the age of 14.”

His first position at the textile company was as a shipping assistant. From there, he moved up to sales until landing a management position.

Growing up, Orthmann’s family struggled financially. He walked barefoot to school but excelled academically.

Due to his German proficiency, he got hired by the textile company. When he became a salesperson, he filled enough orders to equal enough work for three months. This accomplishment came within a week of his new position as a salesperson.

What Kept Him Going

According to the Guinness World Records, Orthman enjoyed how work gave him a sense of purpose. He also liked the commitment and routine of his work life.

Orthmann had the opportunity to travel during his time with Industrias Renaux S.A., one of his favorite parts of the job. He enjoyed meeting new people. It helped him understand the world and the need to adapt to change. During his time at the company, he experienced many changes, including Industrias Renau S.A. changing its name to ReneauxView.

He loved meeting new people and clients and could become friends with many of them. He also enjoyed staying current on new processes and practices to implement into his strategy.

Was He Trying to Break the World Record?

Orthmann didn’t keep working to break the world record. Instead, he focused on staying happy and worked in an environment that allowed for it.

Orthmann’s Advice

When Orthmann turned 100, he celebrated his birthday with loved ones and friends at ReneauxView. Orthmann advises staying present instead of focusing on the past or future. He used his curiosity to keep learning new things, moving forward continuously.

Orthmann prioritizes exercising each morning to keep his health up, likely contributing to his hundred years of life. His story shows that you can love what you do for a living. It also reminds you of your health and well-being.

How World Records are Measured

Guinness World Records has a set of rules for every record and requires specific evidence. This method ensures that everyone has a fair chance to achieve their goal.

The records vary over many categories and include a diverse group of record holders. Applying before you attempt to break the record can help you follow all guidelines. Once you fill out an application, you’ll receive all the necessary information.

Record Evidence

You can’t record your evidence any way you want. Instead, Guinness World Records requires the following:

independent verification from expert witnesses specializing in the field
measurement proof conducted by a qualified professional based on length, weight, number, area, temperature, or other factors
a log book for attempts with a long duration
time kept by experts

Every record attempt will come with differing requirements. Filling out an application before you begin can help prevent mistakes and wasted time.

What Makes a Title

Guinness World Records has strict policies about what can earn a title. Their standards include that it must be measurable and not subjective. It also must be breakable so that others can take on the challenge.

Part of being breakable includes having parameters and conditions everyone can follow. The record must also be verifiable with evidence and based on one variable or unit of measurement.

They also follow a set of values, including integrity, respect, inclusiveness, and passion. It can’t become a title if the record doesn’t follow these values. Some of the things they won’t give a title to include things that involve:

causing harm or danger to viewers
harming animals
overeating or wasting food
alcohol
illegal activities
anyone under sixteen doing things unsuitable for minors

Other Inspiring World Records

Orthmann’s record isn’t the only inspiring story in the Guinness World Records. These records show you that anything is possible with drive and determination.

Oldest Woman in Space

Wally Funk was the oldest woman in space. She always had a passion for aeronautics, starting as a young girl and looking up to Amelia Earhart.

Funk enrolled in a woman flying club at sixteen, earning a pilot license at seventeen. Later, she became a flight instructor for Air Force troops. Funk went on to help with Mercury 13, although she wasn’t allowed to join the spaceflight. She got recognized with an Achievement Award for her work. She continued training people, but it wasn’t until 2021, when she was 82, that she was able to travel in a rocket.

First Functional LEGO Prosthetic Arm

David Aguilar created the first prosthetic arm using LEGOs. He was only nine when he designed his first prosthetic arm. His first attempt wasn’t strong enough, but he didn’t give up.

Aguilar was born without a fully developed right forearm due to Poland Syndrome. This syndrome is a congenital disease involving abnormalities and underdeveloped muscles. He loved building with Legos, and after mastering many kits, he decided he would take on a prosthetic arm.

His first successful prosthetic arm involved a moveable elbow joint and grabber. This model wasn’t motorized, and he had to use his muscles, which he found to be a little painful. However, he kept going on his endeavor and created an arm that was strong enough for him to do push-ups.

Teen Earns a World Record as the Youngest Nobel Prize Winner

Malala Yousafzai won a Nobel Prize when she was seventeen. Born in 1997, her father instilled the value of education at an early age. Her father was a social activist for education rights in Pakistan.

At her father’s request, Yousafzai took up the role of blogging about her experiences living under the Taliban. She blogged under the name of Gul Makai and posted her first blog in 2009. It discussed military activity, the destruction it caused, and the closure of her school.

Two months later, she posted her final blog. Her public profile had risen, and she interviewed with national newspapers. Her identity got revealed because of the publicity and popularity, and she had to stop. She received death threats and later got shot by a masked gunman. She survived the wound, continuing her efforts after healing when she spoke at the United Nations when she was sixteen. At seventeen, she became the youngest winner of a Nobel Prize.

Longest-running Wild-primate Study

Dr. Jane Goodall earned the title of the longest-running wild-primate study. She knew at ten years old that she wanted to travel to Africa to work with animals, and the passion strengthened throughout her life.

She contributed to studying primates, wildlife in its natural habitat, and more. Goodall wanted to preserve nature and work with animals, and she set a world record in that category. 2020 marked 60 years since Goodall arrived in Tanzania to study chimpanzees. That milestone marked the longest-running wild-primate study.

She lived in a tent in a jungle of Africa and earned the chimpanzee’s trust to gain up-close observations. Eventually, she found herself accepted by the chimpanzees, marking the proudest moment of her life. Goodall’s observations changed the rules of what distinguished humans from other primates. She experienced more than 165,000 hours of observation and earned many awards through her studies.

Final Thoughts on 100-Year Old Man Sets World Record Working 84 Years at Same Company

Walter Orthmann and the other world record-setters show how dedication and passion can pay off. They encourage you not to give up on your dreams because you never know what they can become. Discover what means the most to you and spend your life pursuing it. You can find success in the most unexpected places, and you never know what you can do when you set your mind to something.

12 Benefits of Being Kind That Most People Don’t Think About

October 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

One of the first virtues most parents try to instill in their children is to be kind, empathetic, and compassionate. As an adult, reaching out and helping others should be common. Can doing good deeds also benefit you? Kindness certainly can increase your gratitude and give you a new appreciation for your blessings and the troubles of others.

Twelve Reasons to Be Kind to Others–and Why Kindness Matters

When you say and do good things for others, it makes you feel good. Reaching out a hand of compassion also encourages others to do the same. These are things you do “just because” and not to be seen or praised.

Does being kindhearted only benefit those who are helped? You may be surprised to learn that compassion is a mutual gift. Here are twelve benefits of being kind that people don’t consider.

1. It Is Good for Your Heart Health to Be Kind

Has anyone ever told you that you have a kind heart? Perhaps there’s an inherent connection between the human spirit and showing kindness.

Reaching out with compassion may stimulate the production of a hormone called oxytocin. According to one scientific study, oxytocin has several cardiovascular benefits. These include helping to regulate your heart rhythm and lowering your blood pressure.

2. Kindness May Boost Your Immune System

When you’re kind to others, it may do more than make you feel good emotionally. Some evidence suggests that kindness may also boost your immune system. It also may have something to do with the higher production of oxytocin.

An article published by Pharmacological Reviews states that oxytocin plays a role in your immune system. Since it fights inflammation throughout your body, it may reduce your risks of certain diseases. Such ailments listed in the article are hypertension, coronary disease, diabetes, cancer, and premature death.

3. When You Are Kind, You Feel a Sense of Control

Let’s face it; some people still get on your nerves, no matter how kind you are or how much you reach out to help. You usually dread crossing paths because you know they’ll do something to flare your temper. It’s human nature and is difficult to control.

Remember the old saying to “kill” with kindness? Of course, it means to kill the cruel words and negative attitude, not the person. It takes a strong person to be kind when someone is being rude to them.

Anger can be toxic, but it’s one of the easiest emotions to show. This is especially when someone is mean to you. However, turning the other cheek and walking away often takes profound strength. You prove to yourself and others that you’re in control and they can’t push you past your limits.

Responding with compassion allows you to control the situation. You can smile and go your way without giving them the satisfaction of upsetting you. Proverbs 15:1 says that a kind word turns away wrath, so you end up the winner.

4. Kindness Comes Back to You

According to the law of attraction, any affirmation you send into the Universe returns to you in kind. Positive affirmations attract positive returns, and negative affirmations attract negative revenues. The law applies to your words and actions, regardless of who you are.

For example, you show gratitude by declaring how blessed you are to the Universe. The Universe agrees with your positive affirmation and sends you more blessings. If you cry that nothing good ever happens to you, then you’ll continue attracting negativity.

So, reaching out in compassion won’t return to you void. The same blessings you give to others will eventually come back to you. The law of attraction may also be explained as reaping what you sow, either positive or negative.

5. You May Help Reduce Anxiety and Stress if You Are a Kind Person

When you overthink your problems, it only causes undue stress. Chronic stress can make you more prone to physical and mental health issues. Although it’s impossible to eliminate all of life’s stress, you can do things to minimize it.

One way of naturally reducing your stress is to be considerate of others. Your kindness focuses on their needs, so you aren’t stressing about your problems. Reaching out to help a friend also works to lighten your burdens.

6. Kindness Elevates Your Gratitude

Negative words and actions are often the fruit of ingratitude. When you have a thankful heart, it lifts your spirit and makes you a kinder person. Not only are you more compassionate to others, but you show more compassion to yourself.

How often do you set your complaints aside and count your blessings? If you create a gratitude list, you’ll be amazed at the benefits you may take for granted. Thankfulness softens your heart and encourages you to share your blessings with others.

7. Kindness Fosters Better Relationships

If someone is constantly mean and nasty to you, chances are you don’t want to associate with them. Unfortunately, negative people only attract more negativity and repel positive energy. It stands to reason that kindhearted folks will have more resilient and longer-lasting relationships.

Consider the family and friends in your circle. They were attracted to your orbit because of mutual kindness. While you may have a few family members and coworkers who aren’t your favorites, you only have contact when necessary.

Most people want a mate who has a compassionate heart toward them and others. Their physical beauty may attract you, but their inner beauty will keep you hooked. People who are loving toward each other have more profound and long-lasting connections.

8. Kind People Are Often Highly Creative

Did you know that being compassionate can make you more creative? One article discusses the positive link between happiness and creativity. If reaching out makes you happier, you can assume it will influence your creative thinking.

You can notice benefits regardless of where your gifts and talents lie. Compassion may help you be a better writer, painter, or musician. Your mind is less troubled, and you have more room for inspiration, gratitude, and creative thinking.

9. Kindness May Give You an Energy Boost

How do you feel after you’ve said or done something that hurt someone? You feel awful even if it was out of anger and didn’t mean it. The guilt and self-loathing sink your mood as well as your energy levels.

On the other hand, reaching out with compassion makes you feel lovely. Of course, only if it’s altruistic and you don’t have an ulterior motive. Your consideration for others creates positive energy that makes you want to do more.

Assume you volunteer in your local school to tutor at-risk students. Seeing their face light up when they understand a math problem is priceless. Their enthusiasm, gratitude, and determination motivate you to continue to help.

10. Being Kind May Help You to Leave the Past

Most people cannot forget their pasts. Instead, they must process their emotional responses and release them to the Universe.

Still, countless people wallow in past pain and disappointments and miss out on the present. Such rumination can lead to chronic anxiety, depression, and physical issues.

Being kindhearted gives you the strength to forgive and go forward with your life. It doesn’t mean you excuse the offender or have anything more to do with them. The same grace that helped you to forgive will also help bring you into the present.

11. You May Live Longer if You Are a Kind Person

Recent statistics published by the Centers for Disease Control estimate the life expectancy in America as 77.0 years. Of course, how long you live depends on multiple factors. Isn’t it fascinating to discover that being compassionate may increase your longevity?

A study published by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology explains how those who help others tend to be happier. It may increase serotonin and other hormones responsible for feelings of well-being. Acts of kindness benefit the giver as well as the receiver.

In turn, happier people tend to live longer than chronically unhappy individuals. Compassion and helping others give you a sense of purpose and more gratitude in your life. Having a life purpose is an indicator of healthy aging, states an article published by Psychological Science.

12. Your Kindness Sets a Better Example for Your Children

Children naturally imitate the behavior modeled by their parents and other caregivers. Kids can learn to be compassionate. Of course, it depends on both nature and nurture. You must be their example if you want your kids to grow up as kindhearted adults.

Show them the right way to treat people and animals. When you slip and make a mistake, be the first to admit it, apologize, and make amends.

Final Thoughts on the Benefits Reaped by Kind People

There’s no denying that having kinder people in the world would make it a better place. Using polite and respectful conversation and reaching out to help goes a long way. The beautiful outcome is that it all returns to you in one way or another.

10 Reasons Why Some Women Stay Single

October 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

Are you one of the rising number of females in America who wants to stay single? It’s not only socially acceptable but admirable in many circles. Many single women create joy and love despite being alone (by choice!).

Before diving in, let’s reflect on all the progress toward women’s equality. Aren’t you grateful for all the progress so far? While we know we have more work to do, these milestones were once considered impossible.

To say that women have been forced to take a secondary role in society is an understatement. For thousands of years, females were usually valued as wives, mothers, or servants. They were groomed from the cradle to get married as soon as possible and have a houseful of children.

The concept of the debutante ball was for young ladies to enter proper society and announce their availability. Their greatest hope was to woo a wealthy suitor, marry him, and produce a male heir. Those not hitched by their early twenties were condemned to live life as a spinster “old maid.”

Even those ladies who married royalty weren’t home safe. Just consider the cruel fate of some infamous King Henry VIII’s wives. Their only crime worthy of execution was not giving the malicious monarch a son. Throughout the following centuries, women still lived under profound oppression, especially those who were single. The only way they hoped to survive was to marry. Females were the main targets of the horrible witch hunts in Europe and Colonial America.

Editorial note: We acknowledge that some men prefer the single life. However, they typically express different reasons than females for their decision to run solo. We do address that topic in a separate article–but this one’s dedicated to all those independent single women out there!

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!

It wasn’t until 1920 that women were considered full American citizens who could vote. During World War II, they filled the factory vacancies left by men going overseas to fight. After this taste of independence, there was no turning back.

During the 1960s, more women embraced liberation and weren’t afraid to stay single. They were no longer content to be portrayed as submissive housewives who cooked and cleaned in pearls and heels. The role of femininity was no longer defined by being linked with a man.

Ten Convincing Reasons Why Many Women Decide to Stay Single

Recent statistics published by the Pew Research Society indicate at least 31 percent of Americans reported they were single. Of these, 15 percent said they were looking for a mate, and 16 percent said they weren’t looking at all. At least 32 percent of women polled in the 18–29-year-old group weren’t in a relationship.

Fortunately, for a woman, staying single is a popular option today. Whether you want to be in a long-term relationship or play the field is up to you. These are ten reasons that women decide to remain single:

1. You Stay Single Because You Want the Right Person

Perhaps nothing could be worse than being tied down to the wrong person. You’re a desperate soul who will settle for the first guy who smiles at you. Being in a committed relationship isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, so you can afford to be choosy.

So, you take your time and enjoy the casual dating scene. In the meantime, you can meet various men from many walks of life. You may never find Mr. Right, but no law says you must feel fulfilled.

2. You Like Variety in Your Life

Once in a committed relationship, you love the person, not what you want them to be. Committing to someone hoping to change them only results in heartache and pain. If you stay single, you can meet different and interesting people.

You can also have greater liberties, like vacations, cruises, and overseas adventures. Boredom and doing the same-old thing won’t be an issue for you. There won’t be as many what-if and if-only regrets in your life.

3. Single Women Value Their Independence

You’ve worked hard on your education and career and aren’t about to answer to anybody else. You earned the cash to buy what you have, and you want to enjoy it your way. It’s refreshing to do what you want when you want.

When you stay single, you don’t have to consider another opinion. You make plans and decisions for your life. Nobody has anything to hold over your head, and you do things your way.

4. You’re a Unique Individual

Since everyone is unique, you have your way of thinking and doing things. It can be an asset in a relationship or a liability. Compromising with a partner can be difficult if you value your sense of creativity and ideology.

Staying single can preserve your individuality and not hamper your creative thinking. You only answer to yourself and don’t have to consider changing for anyone. Consequently, many men find unique ladies attractive, so finding a date won’t be an issue.

5. You Stay Single Due to Your Unique Priorities

Many people have identified their destiny at an early age. Maybe you’ve always known your path and have set goals for your future. Not every young female dreams of being a wife and mother.

Your dreams may be to build your career or to travel the world. They may not share your priorities if you’re in a long-term relationship. To stay single lets, you set priorities without any other opinions hindering you.

Many other life decisions are more manageable when you’re on your own. Your goals may be to retire to a farm or settle in a small condo. It could become a severe issue if you had a partner with different priorities.

6. You’re Not Worried About Having Children

Having children can be a sensitive subject, especially for women. Unfortunately, traces of past expectations persist. Some rude people try to remind single ladies about their ticking biological clocks.

Let’s face it; not all females are mother material. You may like kids but don’t want the responsibility of birthing and raising your own. The good news is that you can still be a single mother even if you want children.

The laws have changed in the United States, and single folks can now foster and adopt children. Some ladies also opt for invitro fertilization methods to have biological children. You may also depend on your nieces and nephews; it isn’t about having your kids.

7. You Have Stronger Friendships

Like any healthy and lasting relationship, friendship requires work from both sides. If you’re in a serious romantic relationship, you’ll probably devote more time to it. While you cherish your other friends, they usually must take a lower priority.

A study published by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships explores the link between singlehood and friendship. The study suggests that single people integrate more into society than married people. Marriage may even constrain social ties.

It stands to reason that if you don’t have the responsibilities of a relationship, you have more time for friends. You can go out when you want and not worry about who is with you. You can spend as much time with family and friends as you want.

8. You Stay Single Because You Stay Healthier

If you need another plus for going solo, how about the possibility of being healthier? An article published by the Journal of Women’s Health suggests that single ladies have lower risks of substance abuse. They may even have lower BMIs, which can contribute to better health.

9. You Stay Single to Have More Time for Yourself

Maybe one of the reasons that staying single can be healthier is that you have more time for self-care. You often put your needs on the back burner when you’re in a relationship. Going solo means you’re not investing as much time caring for a partner’s needs and expectations.

Imagine being able to take long, leisurely bubble baths because you don’t share a bathroom. Your home can be a private sanctuary of your creation. Burn incense, listen to music, journal, or treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure.

10. You Don’t Have to Share

Most people in a long-term relationship usually decide to share a home, whether in marriage or cohabitation. It can often be an adjustment that either makes or breaks a relationship. Some people stay single for so long that they can’t change their habits.

While sharing with others is a virtue, you don’t have to share everything, especially if you’re single. Both sides of the bed are yours, and nobody is hogging the pillows and blankets. The bathroom is yours all the time, the whole closet and the TV remote.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that you’re selfish and narcissistic. When you share your life with someone, you want to be there with them. It can make sharing more meaningful for both of you.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Some Women Stay Single

You have the right as an individual to choose whether you want to stay single or be in a relationship. Your relationship status doesn’t define you or dictate your future happiness. Just because you’re a loner doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

10 Manipulative Behaviors That Are Not Actually Love

October 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

Manipulative relationships aren’t always easy to identify. You may not always be able to determine if your situation is toxic, though there are likely some lingering doubts when dealing with manipulators. There are three kinds of people you can date, those that love you, those that hate you, and those that try to control you. When your partner uses manipulative behaviors against you, sometimes you’re blinded by love and devotion and can’t see what’s happening.

Identifying the manipulative partner can be challenging, but there will be signs. You can feel it in your gut when something is off-kilter in the relationship. Call it gut instincts, but there are usually feelings of guilt and shame attached to it. You must handle this situation, or it will only get worse.

Manipulative Behaviors to Identify

Manipulators are toxic individuals that hide their true intentions. They use actions and behaviors to damage you and destroy your esteem. Many people can’t identify these manipulative behaviors until they’re deep in the middle of a relationship, and by then, it’s hard to escape their clutches.

However, once you know the true poisonous nature of your connection, you can break those ties that bind. Here are some signs that your partner is toxic.

1. Lack of Responsibility Can Be a Manipulative Behavior

If there were ever a song about the narcissist, it’s Shaggy’s mega-hit from 2000, “It Wasn’t Me.” The song talks about a person who got caught red-handed having an affair with their partner, yet they deny any wrongdoing. This is typical behavior of a manipulative person. It doesn’t matter if caught, as they will never admit to anything.

They want to turn it around on you or gaslight you into thinking you saw something else. Manipulators know they’re doing wrong, but they will not admit that to you or anyone else.

2. Playing the Victim

Manipulators like to play the victim card. However, it would help if you were careful as these manipulative behaviors are easy to get caught up in. They will use things that happened to them as a child to gain your sympathy, but they only want to take advantage of you.

Some toxic people are so good at playing the victim that they can make anyone putty in their hands. You might even believe that some of their sob stories are true. Granted, some people were victims and have developed this mentality to get through life. However, many are just using lies to play on your emotions.

3. Manipulators Often Make Empty Promises

Toxic people will make all sorts of promises to you when they need to get you off their back. However, these are broken vows they have no intention of keeping. You will find that these promises come out when caught in lies or you consider leaving them.

Please don’t hold your breath that they will keep any of these pledges to you, as lying is one of their strong suits. It’s a commonplace for toxic people to use deception to throw people off their track.

4. Guilt Trips

Do you feel guilty often? Manipulators make you feel guilty when things aren’t even your fault. You should know that you didn’t do anything wrong, but this is a tactic used by your partner to deflect.

They want you to feel bad about yourself or have guilt over a situation where they’re to blame. Shame is one of the manipulative behaviors that can be most toxic. It causes emotional storms inside that can make you angry and sad simultaneously.

Classic examples of guilt may come when you try to spend time with your family or friends, and they make you feel that you’re ignoring their needs.

5. Manipulative People Tell Lies

Many narcissists are habitual liars, according to The National Library of Medicine. This deep psychological problem stems from many things, but many folks learn how to lie to protect themselves when they’ve suffered a horrific childhood.

Ironically, a study found that people who engage in pathological deception have cognitive deficits. Scientists are still researching if these neurocognitive deficits come from trauma-based interruptions in the brain or if they’re genetic links. Still, dealing with someone who lies about anything and everything is challenging, and it’s one of the manipulative behaviors you want to be wary of in a partner.

6. Extreme Jealousy

One of the manipulative behaviors that are hard to manage is jealousy. The old green-eyed monster is someone you don’t want interfering in your relationships. Your partner may try to spin their feelings out of love, but make no mistakes; nothing is loving about toxic jealousy.

Not only is this person jealous of anyone around them, but they are jealous of those around you too. It’s common for this person to be suspicious of your friends, actions, job, and who you’re talking to on the phone. They try to force you to believe that no one loves or cares about you as they do, but the truth is they’re trying to pull you away from your support system.

Jealousy can be as cruel as the grave, according to Solomon 8:6. If you read of crimes of passion in the newspaper, intense jealousy is behind many of them. Get away from the jealous person, as they will destroy your life.

7. Manipulators Are Frequently Self-Centered

Of course, selfish people want to make everything about themselves. Nothing in your life is as important as what’s going on in theirs. Though this is one of the subtle manipulative behaviors, it usually accompanies others.

They may tell you that your problems aren’t big deals, so they can turn the conversation back to their needs. According to the National Library of Medicine, narcissistic personality disorder comes with the need for admiration and a lack of empathy. Experts have found that these individuals often present with emotional and unpredictable behavior, making them dangerous to engage with on any level.

8. Controlling

Manipulators want to control how much time you spend with others, as they want you all to themselves. They don’t like you to be out of their realm of influence for too long, as they fear that people will break the control they have over you. They may become as controlling as trying to dictate who you can talk to on the phone, visit in person, or where you can go to grocery shops or other places.

Some controlling toxic people want to close you off from the rest of the world so they can have you all to themselves. This behavior is not a love relationship but a prison sentence.

9. Emotional Blackmail Is a Red Flag of Manipulative Behavior

Emotional blackmail is typical manipulative behavior that’s used by controlling people. They play on your emotions to get their way. For instance, they will threaten to end things or move on if you don’t do what they want.

They have no intentions of going anywhere but try to manipulate the situation by playing on your emotions. They’re saying to you, “Do this or else!”

If you have bills together, children, or share assets and other responsibilities, they want to use fear tactics to get you to conform. Toxic people know what card to play to get you to do what they want.

10. The Blame Game

The blame game is something master manipulators love to use to control you. One of the issues of these toxic people is that they can’t and won’t take responsibility for their actions. They would much rather blame you and let you take the fall.

The blame game can be very poisonous and one of the manipulative behaviors that can be pretty damaging. Your partner will justify an affair or other actions and blame you because you weren’t taking care of their needs. It’s rubbish, and don’t engage in such demeaning conversations.

They will also accuse you of being too friendly, loud, quiet, uneducated, or a hundred other things that aren’t true. Don’t ingest their chronic negativity into your spirit, as it will lower your esteem and self-worth.

Final Thoughts on Manipulative Behaviors

Manipulators come in all shapes and sizes and are often the people you wouldn’t normally suspect. However, when you choose a person to be involved in a relationship, you must watch for these toxic behaviors, as these folks can destroy your life.

When toxic people use manipulative behaviors to control you, they play with your emotions. Emotional baggage from previous relationships is hard to unpack, so it’s best to get out of these situations as soon as you see the warning signs. Many manipulators have deep seeded psychological issues that can be very dangerous to you and anyone around them.

Protect your heart and your mind at all costs. Know when to walk away from these toxic folks and the poison they bring into your life.

5 Signs It’s Time to Walk Away From A Bad Relationship

October 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

Everyone wants to find their better half or soulmate to feel fulfilled. However, what if you’ve found your princess or prince charming, but rather than a fairy tale, it’s turned into a nightmare? The only thing worse than being alone is being stuck in a bad relationship. So, how do you know it is time to walk away?

Having the wrong person in your life can bring negativity and problems you don’t need. Toxic people can drain your energy and time and keep you from growing and evolving as a human. You’re not living your life to the fullest potential when a toxic partner constantly drains you.

Sadly, so many folks are blinded by love and don’t see all the red flags waving in front of them. When you stay in these toxic situations, you’re compromising yourself. You’re putting your goals and dignity on the back burner because nothing else matters but keeping your partner with you. If you could only realize that staying hurts you more than leaving, you might make some changes.

Five Signs It’s Time to Walk Away From a Bad Relationship (and Five Ways to Leave)

People become so accustomed to the drama that they don’t know anything else, as it becomes routine. All you’ve ever known may be one bad relationship after another, so how do you know when it’s time to leave the toxic partner behind? Here are five signs that it’s time to go and some tips on breaking those ties that bind.

1. A Bad Relationship May Include Cheating

If one or both of you have stepped outside the confines of the relationship to meet your needs, it’s a big sign there’s a problem. While some people go out and look for someone to meet their romantic needs, others tend to fall into these relationships by accident. Ironically, most cheating isn’t about sexual encounters, yet that’s where it leads.

Perhaps you started confiding in someone with similar problems, and this confidence turned into a lover. Cheating means the beginning of one relationship and the possible end of another, regardless of how or why you got into this situation. A bad relationship where your needs aren’t met is a big red flag that it’s time to walk away.

How to Walk Away From a Cheater:

Being honest is the best place to start. You need to confront your lover and tell them you’re cheating or that you suspect they are being unfaithful. Some folks will try to make things work after such a breach of trust, but according to Divorce Statistics, about fifteen percent of relationships end because of cheating.

So, if you’re committed to working through the issues, you might give it one more chance. However, if you’re in the crowd that believes this is the final straw, confront them and walk away. Don’t listen to the sob stories and feel sorry for them. They broke your confidence, and it’s hard to rebuild it.

2. A Bad Relationship Could Include Fear for Your Safety

Why has abuse become commonplace in bad relationships today? There are three types of abuse; you may experience one or all of them when you’re with a toxic partner. Some folks try to endure the torment, hoping things will improve, while others love themselves enough to walk away.

Some individuals put the types of abuse on a tier, thinking verbal is less poisonous than physical, but it can be worse. While bumps and bruises will eventually mend, words that tear you down and destroy your esteem can be hard to heal. It takes a strong person to walk away from abuse, especially since these people are often scared and have fear ingrained that prevents them from leaving.

It’s time to stop justifying their behavior and love yourself more. If you believe they’re justified in hitting you or harming you in any way, you need counseling. This is not normal behavior, and it will not get any better. Someone that hits you once will hit again when the situation arises.

How toWalk Away From an Abuser:

Since the situation might be volatile, you need help leaving this destructive relationship. A great place to start is a counselor. If going to therapy isn’t for you, there are relatives, women’s shelters, and all sorts of programs to help. Make sure to do the following:

•Create a safety plan for you and any children or pets involved.

•Establish a support network that can help you with the process.

•Take money and supplies needed to ensure you can start over, if possible.

•Get help from community resources for such situations.

•Don’t look back!

3. A Bad Relationship Could Mean You’re Always Mad at One Another

It’s a snide comment here or a passive-aggressive statement there, but you never have a kind word to say to one another. You’re not happy at all these days, and you dread coming home because you make each other miserable. Many folks try to convince themselves that things will change or be different soon, but the reality is that it’s getting worse, not better.

Sure, there are some things that you can change to try to fix things, but you both must be willing participants to ensure change occurs. If you’re the only one doing any work, it’s a big red flag that this bad relationship isn’t turning into a good one.

How to Walk Away When You No Longer Get Along:

When you stay in a bad relationship that stresses you out constantly, it affects your mental and physical health. Talk to your partner about the issues and tell them you can’t continue like this anymore. Get help from family or friends to pack up and go and keep yourself busy. The last thing you want to do is return when nothing has been resolved.

4. The Emotional Connection is Gone in a Bad Relationship

Relationships that have a deep emotional connection are the ones that exist on a higher spiritual plane. However, things can take a turn, and the once-deep connection can fizzle. It doesn’t always mean they’re horrible, but it’s a bad relationship because it no longer meets your needs.

How to Walk Away When You Feel Emotionally Drained:

It’s hard to reestablish an emotional connection once it’s gone. If you’re ready to walk away, try starting the journey with positive affirmations. Speaking positivity to yourself will give you the mental boost you need to make such life adjustments. Make sure you don’t let doubt and negative talk take over your brain by incorporating some positivity.

5. You Don’t Love Them Anymore

The number one reason you should stay with someone is not because of bills or kids but love. If you don’t love your partner anymore, you’re not doing them or yourself any favors by staying. Sure, you might cohabitate well, and there’s no fighting or other toxic behaviors to report, but you just don’t love each other anymore.

If you choose to stay in this bad relationship for any reason other than love, you will feel this loss in your soul. You need love, affection, compassion, and someone who is your biggest cheerleader. You can stay based on what you had in the past and out of devotion, but you will always know something is missing.

How to Walk Away After You Fall Out of Love:

First, you must realize that breaking up will never be easy. A story in The Daily Mail shows that 73 percent of people settle for a partner because they believe their true love slipped through their fingers. If you decide on anything less than the ideal situation with someone you love deeply, you will be miserable.

Always talk to your partner. You want to ensure nothing is going on that’s caused them to pull away. If the love is gone because you’ve grown apart rather than together, work to divide things fairly and move on as friends. There’s no need to make an enemy in the situation just because you can’t be lovers.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing When It Is Time to Walk Away from a Bad Relationship

Some folks believe that love and matters of the heart are subjective. When you consider art and some of the most famous paintings, it’s all up to interpretation. There are no right or wrong answers, but you must decide what works for you and your situation.

Some bad relationships are toxic and dangerous, which involve gaslighting and abuse, causing significant mental or physical distress. Other partners aren’t toxic, but together, you’re not bringing out one another’s best qualities. Walking away from all you’ve ever known and your comfort zone provides safety, even if it’s poisonous.

When you’ve decided that you’ve had enough, it’s best to get help. Not only is physically removing yourself from the relationship challenging, but your mind’s battle will be just as bad. Some people will stay way longer than they should because of fear, but the only person you’re hurting is yourself and any children that might be in the mix.

You owe yourself grace. Walk away from someone who no longer loves and cares for you as you deserve. Isn’t it time you choose yourself?

5 Former Bullies Explain How to Stop Bullying

October 25, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Sadly, bullying occurs far too often in schools, online, and behind closed doors at home. Bullies usually have low self-esteem or abusive home environments and take out their pain on others. They need help and support to overcome their emotional struggles and deserve compassion like everyone else. However, their behavior can inflict severe psychological and physical harm on others.

According to US Department of Health and Human Services research, around 20% of students aged 12-18 experienced bullying in 2019. Most students encountered bullying during school, but 15% also admitted to being bullied online. The most common types of bullying they reported included being the subject of rumors, being insulted or ridiculed, and being pushed or shoved.

Bullies usually don’t realize how their behavior affects others until later. Many of them feel remorse about hurting people and apologize to their classmates. Some even become friends with the peers they bullied after they’ve reconciled and gained perspective on their past. Below, we’ll share a few stories posted on Reddit from former bullies who explained how they transformed into kind, empathetic individuals.

5 Former Bullies Explain What Inspired Them to Change

1 – Bullying Perpetuates Isolation

Bullying creates a wall between you and others. Compassion and understanding break down those walls.

“Right after high school was the turning point for me…I was having a lot of discord with my own friends due to my attitude and it took hearing their honest feedback about how my approach was alienating them for me to start doing major self reflection. I decided I didn’t want people to fear me and I certainly didn’t want to alienate my own friends, so I started talking less and listening more.

I made an honest effort to care more about people as individuals-I got interested in the unique strengths each person brings to the table and did what I could to start learning from others. I humbled myself a lot over the years. I worked on saying I’m sorry and admitting when I was wrong. And years later I’ve gotten into therapy to continue to work on myself. I’ll never be warm and fuzzy as that’s just not my personality, but I’m a much better person than I was when I was younger.” — @Babhak

2 – Bullies Operate From a Place of Negative Thinking

Bullying might make you feel physically stronger, but the negativity affects you subconsciously. Kindness feels much better in the end.

“I was one of those jocks who picks on the weaker kids who couldn’t really defend themselves, in order to make the crowd laugh…it was never anything too physical or over the top, so parents or others never got involved, but I know that I made life a pain for some individuals while in elementary school.

Anyhow, this PE teacher of mine took me into his office after hours one day and explained that I should try to use my authority better, and that while it might feel good to make others laugh on someone else’s behalf, it feels a lot better to be an overall good guy.

Never really had any good male influence in my life before that, so that really stuck with me, and from high school and onward I tried to reach out and confront others in school that bullied others. Oftentimes we just don’t know better.” — @KingBob3922

3 – Trauma Causes Bullying

Sometimes, bullies act out because of childhood trauma. Meeting the right person or mentor can give them wisdom and direction in life.

“I grew up in an abusive home and did it out of self-protection. Verbally hurt them before they could hurt you. I know my behavior didn’t make me popular or really make me feel better but I needed to lash out on the easiest targets. fast forward to having no friends in my mid 20 s and needed to figure out why.

I actually became friends with older coworkers [and] as a proxy parental influence they gently guided me. ‘Why would you say that to someone? Why would you say that about yourself? Why do you talk that way? Why is everything a fight? What’s wrong with being different? What’s wrong with making mistakes?’ No judgments, just gentle questions that I couldn’t answer until I looked hard at myself.

I’m glad that someone took the time to see past my anger, my pushing people away, my misery and saw a young person that just needed some kindness.” — @OrdinaryPride8811

4 – Bullies Can Change With Support and Encouragement

Shaming and bullying people comes back to bite you eventually. But, a simple apology can heal old wounds and encourage a fresh start.

“On the first day of 8th grade I noticed a new kid in school, and for whatever reason I bullied him, called him short, fat, ugly, whatever I could think of to get under his skin. It got old after a while and it came to and end, but he never held a grudge. Come freshman year we’re on the same football team and I could barely stand to be in the same room with him I was so ashamed. I mustered up some courage and apologized. He invited me to hangout after school that day. Turns out we had a lot in common and came from very similar families. We’ve been like brothers ever since, I’ll be the best man at his wedding in September. — @eNcore33

5 -Bullies Learn the Behavior in the Home

Bullying usually starts at home since children mimic their parents’ behaviors. It takes a lot of self-reflection to unlearn these destructive patterns at a young age.

“When I was still quite young ( early teens ) I realised I was modelling my behaviour on one of my parents, and that they were a very obvious bully. Took immediate steps to re-define myself as a person who carefully avoided that abusive tendency.” — @FunkerSpelunker

Final Thoughts on Stories From Former Bullies

Bullying affects everyone involved, including the instigator of the hurtful behaviors. Many bullies have turbulent home lives and take out their pain and frustrations on classmates. Childhood trauma doesn’t excuse their behavior but explains why they act out at school. However, many people who engage in bullying feel deep regret and shame years down the road. Some of them reach out to their victims and apologize for how they treated them.

Bullies are not bad people. Instead, they often had to deal with a challenging hand. However, after years of humbling life lessons, many former bullies change for the better and learn to treat others compassionately.

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