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Psychology Explains How ‘Cognitive Journaling’ Can Stop Negative Thinking

March 20, 2019 by Power of Positivity

What if you could combine aspects of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) with journaling in order to combat negative thinking? Well, now you can: a licensed medical doctor in Europe invented something called “cognitive journaling,” which can help people “unravel their thinking.”

Dr. Richard Ragnarson, close to finishing his residency in psychiatry, says his journaling method is a “repeatable process that you can use to increase your self-awareness, challenge your assumptions, and experiment with new types of thinking.” He goes on to explain that while writing down your thoughts in a journal can help you observe your own thinking, traditional journaling does nothing to change your current way of thinking. Instead, most people end up coming up with more evidence for their beliefs, which can reinforce unhealthy thinking patterns.

So, Ragnarson wanted to try out a type of journaling that would help people remain objective while still writing down their innermost thoughts and feelings. Below, we’ll explain why cognitive journaling can provide an effective way to overcome unhelpful thinking habits.

Here’s how cognitive journaling can halt negative thinking:

Dr. Ragnarson says that other types of journaling prevent us from changing the way we think because they reinforce our “preference for maintaining internal coherence.” This is basically our mind’s way of understanding the world and helping us survive based on our perception of it. This is one of the biggest reasons that people find change so difficult, because we literally have to rewire our brain to alter its deeply entrenched programming.

When we try to alter our perception of the world, we must fight against our current thinking and understanding of it; as you might know, this can seem utterly impossible. Of course, in order to bring about change, we have to think and react differently. This does take time, but cognitive journaling could provide a stepping stone on the path to positive thinking.

Here’s the basis of cognitive journaling:

First, you must describe emotional and mental events in the way they appear to you using objective methods.
Then, you must document the observed connections between your emotions, thoughts, and circumstances.
Finally, these methods will enable you to challenge your ways of thinking and discover how you can start feeling better by changing your thoughts.

Despite this method of journaling being effective, Ragnarson says that it is no substitute for working with a licensed therapist. As you progress in therapy, it will help you become more effective in applying the self-help techniques that you learn here, so it’s best to utilize both methods in the beginning. Now, before we get into the details of cognitive journaling, we’ll go over what’s called “The ABC model of cognition.”

The ABC model of cognition

This stands for activating event, beliefs, and consequences. Basically, all life experiences are comprised of these three ideas.

The activating event. This is any event that triggers a chain of thoughts and emotions. It can be an internal or external event, but in this article, we’ll just focus on external.
Belief. This is our thoughts and feelings about the event. We might not even notice them if they’re subtle, but they can also be very intrusive. Our beliefs could simply be mental images as well.
The consequences. These are the results of our actions or feelings that occur in A and B.

So, our thoughts result from our feelings and beliefs about a particular event, and we act on how we feel. This explains why people react in different ways to the same stimuli, because their beliefs and thoughts about the event lead to different consequences.

For example, if you have to give a speech in front of your class and feel that you won’t do well, you probably will psyche yourself out. However, if you feel confident and know that you’ll deliver a good speech, the results will likely show that. Our thoughts become reality. Knowing this, we can tailor our thoughts to match what we want to see in the outside world.

The real problem lies in the fact that, in everyday life, we often don’t pay any attention to our beliefs. We skip from A to C without examining our interpretations or perceptions of an event. For example, let’s go back to the speech scenario. You might think, “Giving a speech made me feel nervous and inadequate. I suck at everything.”

However, this type of thinking overlooks the belief (B) entirely. You should say instead, “I gave my speech, thought I did poorly, and felt embarrassed.” In this way, you compartmentalize your feelings and realize that not all situations will have the same outcome. You can also gain better insight into why you felt this way. Did the class say or do anything to make you feel nervous? Probably not. More than likely, your internal beliefs created an external event.

In this way, thoughts can become problematic because they can become activating events (A) which can create even more negative thoughts. We often become victims of events due to our own thoughts about them, which can create a helpless mentality. Judging our thoughts and emotions causes this to occur, so stepping back and rationalizing these thoughts can really help us move forward.

In other words, our minds have the power to build us up or tear us down, but we can feed ourselves positive information so that the brain works for us rather than against us. The ABC model works because, instead of trying to change our emotions, it emphasizes changing our thoughts about an event, which will allow us to experience new emotions when that event occurs again.

For example, if you hate your job, you might think that finding a new job will make you happier. However, if your beliefs cause you to dislike all your jobs, you probably won’t find happiness in a new one. Most people look at work as drudgery, so of course, their experiences at work will reflect this belief. As you can see, the mind houses our perception of reality, and to have a positive one, we must adjust our belief systems accordingly.

So, the takeaway from this is that changing the activating event in an attempt to alter an emotional state will not work in the long run. The beliefs and thoughts about an event must change first in order to feel different emotions if that event should occur again.

How to Do Cognitive Journaling

Now that you know the basics of the ABC model and how you can influence your thoughts about events in your life by changing your beliefs, let’s look at how to set up your journal for success.

The Practice Program

We’ve broken up the steps into weeks so that you can slowly integrate the practice into your life.

Week 1: Make journaling a part of your life

First, start off by using the ABC model for one event that happened in your life. It can be big or small; just make sure you can describe it in detail using facts and nonjudgmental language.

Start with the consequence, then the activating event, and then the belief about the event. It should look like this:

C = I felt the emotion of [insert emotion] /I did [insert behavior]

A = The situation was [insert detailed situation]

B = I thought that [insert thought or belief]

Try to write one sentence using this model and structure at least once a day. Don’t focus on trying to change your thoughts or feelings this first week; instead, just become comfortable with writing down your experiences using the ABC model.

Week 2: Identify your beliefs

Keep up your practice from week 1, but this time, dedicate a few minutes each day to examining your beliefs. Write down each of your beliefs about the event and then ask yourself logically if the beliefs you have about an event really make sense. Do they help you achieve the emotion you desire to feel?

Pay attention to any pattern you notice in your beliefs about certain situations.

Week 3: Challenge your beliefs

Continue the process from the previous weeks of journaling, but this time, try to challenge the beliefs you have.

Ask yourself these questions:

Are my beliefs logical?
Are they falsifiable (based on facts)?
Is it useful?
Is it rigid or flexible?

If your belief evokes a positive response, you’ll have answered “yes” to all of those questions. However, if it’s a negative belief, then you will have probably answered “no” to the above questions. Even if you only answered “no” to one question, the belief still needs further examining.

Record your thoughts on analyzing your beliefs in your journal.

Week 4: Building better beliefs

After identifying your bad beliefs, try to find one to three replacement beliefs about each event. Make sure your beliefs are flexible, logical, helpful, and falsifiable. Choose one belief to put in one of your C-A-B statements and see what emotion that triggers in you. If you feel positively about it, try to think about your new belief each time you find yourself in the same situation.

Final thoughts

Cognitive journaling can provide real benefits over time as long as you keep up the practice. In your daily life, you will naturally become more aware of your beliefs and thought processes and start to challenge them more often. In time, you’ll start to see the world through a whole new lens.

5 Behaviors That Reveal Insecurities In Your Relationship

March 20, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Insecurities are tricky business.

70% of heterosexual relationships fall apart within the first year, and a great majority of this boils down to couples not overcoming insecurities.

There isn’t a person on this planet who feels 100% confident 100% of the time. We like to think we hide it well, but deep down, we are all insecure about something or another. Yet, this lack of confidence can be overcome thanks to the love and words of kindness from our friends, S/Os and our family.

However, prolonged contact with insecurity can cause significant issues in a romantic relationship. When one partner is too clingy—and refuses to work on it—the more confident partner is almost always inevitably pushed away. Unless—of course—both partners are clingy, which results in both of them staying out of fear of losing one another. The first scenario is painful and sad. The second is downright tragic. Insecurities are how abusive relationships are made.

Behavior 1: Infidelity

Let’s just get this one out of the way from the get go.

There are two reasons a couple breaks up after infidelity:

1. The cheater is insecure in their personhood and they feel the need to repeatedly cheat on their S/O in order to feel satisfied.
2. The victim is insecure and unwilling to forgive the cheater and work through the pain as a couple.

This reasoning may sound harsh, but the reality is: all cheating stems from a place of insecurity, and every relationship which falls apart as a result fell apart because one or both partners was too insecure to work through it.

Don’t get me wrong. Infidelity hurts. It hurts on the level of losing a child. Yet every act of infidelity has a root. That root may be that your partner is feeling unsatisfied sexually. It may be that they were deeply hurt as a child and are running for easy comfort because truly opening up to you is painful for them. Whatever the reason for cheating, cheating is wrong—but the majority of the time it isn’t purposefully malicious.

When you’ve been cheated on, you are fully justified in being angry. You are fully justified in feeling possessive. However, just because you feel a certain way does not make acting on it the right thing to do. Forgiveness does not just mean swallowing your feelings and forgetting. Forgiveness means, “let’s work through this together. Let’s heal our relationship together.”

To overcome insecurities surrounding infidelity, the pair of you need to be 100% transparent. You need to be willing to accept constructive criticism. You need to be willing to listen to your partner’s side, emotions and thoughts. There is an unimaginable amount of pain on both sides in these cases—even if your partner is a serial cheater.

That said, both partners need to be willing to repair the relationship for mutual healing to occur. If you have talked with your partner—be they the cheater or the victim—and they continually shut down, throw accusations, cast the blame or emotionally abuse you, it may be time to walk away and heal on your own. However, this should only be an option once you have exhausted every single resource to salvage the relationship.

Behavior 2: One-Sided Pursuit

Another signal of insecurity in a relationship is a one-sided pursuit. When one partner is constantly showering another in gifts, romantic dates and compliments at first it seems so romantic. However, as the relationship progresses through the natural stages, the infatuation wears off and most couples settle into a comfortable rhythm. This rhythm is still romantic and leaves room for great romantic gestures to be made. However, these are not constant.

If one partner is always offering these gestures, it demonstrates that they might be hiding a fear of their partner leaving. They are attempting to buy their affections, trying to prove that they are worth loving because they keep serving their partner. However, this is just a mask to their inner insecurities.

The problem with this sort of behavior is that the relationship will never reach maturity. The partner constantly showering the other with gifts is actually putting up a barrier which keeps the couple from ever reaching a depth of emotional intimacy. So when something truly turbulent happens in the relationship, the gift giver’s fears are finally realized. Either their partner leaves, or they confess their deep insecurity.

If the latter happens, the pair can begin to build towards establishing a true trust based on love and action. If the former, well… sadly the cycle usually continues from relationship to relationship until the insecure party begins to actively pursue individual healing.

Behavior 3: Mutual Identity

A mutual identity is when two partners inextricably wrap themselves in each other’s lives so you cannot tell one without the other. They attend every single function together, must complete every project together, and it one is out of town the world comes to a crashing halt until they are together again.

This sort of relationship usually stems from each individual being unaware of who they are as a singular person. They do not know who they are, do not know their purpose, or are afraid of one of those two and are running away.

Whatever the reason, these relationships are almost always doomed to fail—or make the couple extremely unhappy—because life requires us to be able to fend for ourselves. Yes, it is healthy to be able to rely on your partner to pick up the slack when you are struggling. Yes, it is healthy to be able to cry on their shoulder when life is just too overwhelming. However, it is never healthy to stop living unless they are there by your side holding your hand through every little thing.

Time apart as partners is good, healthy even. Partners are able to develop their own interests and skills, pursue their dreams. Then when they come back together at the end of the day, they have plenty of interesting developments to discuss.

To overcome insecurities in this requires partners to find out who they are separate from each other. This does not necessarily mean splitting up, but rather pursuing different interests to develop their own skills. Once your individual skills are developed, you will be able to help each other pursue your dreams.

Behavior 4: Constant Interrogation

A small amount of jealousy from time to time is acceptable. However, the jealousy which results in your partner getting angry when you go out, rifling through your internet history, and constantly asking where you’ve been is a little scary. These are the kinds of relationships that result in stalkerish tendencies—the kind that Netflix warns us about.

While most people who struggle with insecurities are no cause for that degree of alarm, someone with a snooping partner needs to have a serious conversation with them. Oftentimes an insecure partner is rifling through your schedule because they are afraid of losing you, and they will do anything to keep you. This fear often stems from a form of childhood neglect.

When your partner is struggling with abandonment issues, you need to be patient, understanding, but firm. Reassure them that you are with them in this present moment. They will want constant affirmation because they do not believe you. Rather than continually saying “I love you,” which they will not truly hear anyway, do your best to bring your partner to the present moment.

Overcoming fear of abandonment requires the partner to return their mind to the present moment. They are drawing on old feelings and mistaking the present for the past. Take your parter through emotional grounding techniques to help them recognize that the present is now and that you are here. In time, they will begin to realize that you are staying and they will begin to calm down. Talk with them about your boundaries, but even more, be willing to serve them by helping them learn to self regulate these fears. If you are in a truly committed relationship, eventually these fears will fade and be replaced by love.

Behavior 5: Constant Apologies

People who struggle with insecurities have no idea why you are with them. Literally no clue. They are thrilled when they find out that someone is interested in them, but that thrill is quickly replaced by a crippling fear that once their partner truly knows their imperfections, their partner will leave forever. Then begins the game of constantly trying to be enough for you.

Which means, they will always be apologizing.

Why?

Because your insecure partner can never live up to their expectations of perfection.

They will apologize for breathing too loud, for buying you the wrong shampoo, for crying when something truly tragic happens to them. They will apologize for every little thing.

Overcoming insecurities requires much of the same tactics as outlined in the previous section. You need to reassure your partner that you love them and reminding them that they are allowed to have emotions, and allowed to make mistakes. Remind them of the grace they give you when you mess up, and encourage them to extend that same grace to themselves.

Final Thoughts to Overcome Insecurities:

Ultimately, to overcome insecurities in relationships requires a great deal of work and determination. Both parties need to be willing to help one another cope with their own emotional baggage. At the end of the day though, the only person responsible for your own healing is you. Your partner can be there to support you—and you to them—but it takes two to tango, and the two of you need to provide your own emotional support and regulation to be able to help one another.

Science Explains 4 Things That Happen To Your Body When You Have a Vitamin D Deficiency

March 20, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Studies show it may be time to start getting a little more sunshine! There is an epidemic of sorts happening around the world. It is happening to children and adults of all races and backgrounds. This epidemic is affecting nearly 90% of adults in the U.S. alone. The epidemic is a deficiency a plentiful vitamin.
Vitamin D is an essential group of vitamins found in fish oils or beef liver. The most abundant supplier of this vitamin is the sun. It is necessary to have vitamin D so your body can properly absorb calcium. Without either of these vital nutrients, our bodies would be in danger as our skeletal systems would become very weak and brittle. But, there are steps we can take to reverse this process. First, though, we must understand the warning signs and symptoms of vitamin D deficiency.

Diseases Associated with Vitamin D Deficiency

1. Osteoporosis Results From Low Vitamin D

This is a condition where your bones become weak and brittle. See, your bones are constantly in a state of renewal. Osteoporosis begins when our bodies are unable to reproduce bone tissue at the same rate as it is absorbing it. Symptoms of this include a loss of height or fractured bones.

2. Arthritis

Arthritis is an inflammation of your bone joints. It is a very common disorder that affects over 3 million people. There are many causes for this disorder. A lack of Vitamin D is one of them. Stiffness, swelling, a reduced range of motion and pain often accompany arthritis.

3. Multiple Sclerosis

This is a very debilitating disease. This disease causes the immune system to destroy the outer protective cover of the nerves. The result of this destruction is a serious miscommunication between the brain and the rest of the body. This causes many problems from people that suffer from this disease.

4. Depression or Anxiety Problems

Studies have shown evidence that low amounts of vitamin D in the body may cause serious mental illnesses including depression. Reason for this is the “sunshine vitamin” is very important to the brain and its functioning.

Symptoms of Vitamin D Deficiency

Weakened or brittle bones
Increased inflammation or swelling
General weakness and fatigue
Signs of depression and anxiety

Ways to Reverse Symptoms of a Vitamin D Deficiency

1. Get More Sun for Natural Vitamin D!

Sunlight is the number one source of this vitamin for our bodies. This treatment does not cost a thing but time. It is suggested you get at least 10-30 minutes per day of unexposed sunlight. Sit outside to read or take a long walk. A good tip to remember is the lighter the skin you have, the less amount of time you need to spend in the sun.

2. Invest in Supplements

There is a vast multitude of different types of supplements on the market today. The vitamin can be found in multivitamins, prenatal vitamins and even in a supplement all on its own. Most of these supplements are not expensive and easy to incorporate into your daily regime. Be sure to discuss your interest in taking a supplement with your doctor first.

3. Eat More Fish

Believe it or not, there are many types of fish that offer your body lots of the “sunshine vitamin”. Salmon, Whitefish, Trout, Sardines and Tuna are excellent ways to get your daily dose of D. Another fish product that you can supplement with is Cod Liver Oil.

4. Eggs

Eggs are easy to come by and very inexpensive. You probably already eat eggs a few times per week and never realized you can get much more than protein and fat from them. Now you have another good reason to add eggs to your menu.

5. Mushrooms

Certain types of mushrooms cultivated in particular conditions are great sources for the D vitamin. Maitake and portabello mushrooms that are exposed to UV light when they are grown are delicious ways to increase this vitamin in your diet. Eat them on pizza or sauteed. Any way you want them, they are amazing in many ways!

6. Milk – Dairy, Nut and Soy

Last but not least, do not forget that milk and its products are excellent sources of vitamin D. If you are not much of a dairy milk drinker, meaning you don’t like milk from animals, there are many yummy nut and soy milk varieties that are fortified with this nutrient.

If you find yourself displaying any symptoms described above or you suffer from any of these diseases, be sure you are talking to your doctor. With proper nutrition and exercise, you may be able to completely alleviate the symptoms of D deficiency.

51 Best Romantic Quotes For Anyone In Love

March 19, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Falling in love is such an exciting time in your life, and reading quotes that may relate to how you are feeling helps those feelings become solidified. Whether you are just wanting to read some romantic quotes or if you are looking to send some love quotes to your partner, it shouldn’t be hard to find a bunch that you can relate to.

Studies have shown that sending romantic quotes to your partner can bring more love and connection to a relationship. Rather than trying to come up with a love quote of your own, your partner will appreciate a well-written and relatable quote written by someone else, as long as you are implying that’s how you feel about them.

Romantic Quotes For Those In Love

Love Quotes For Those In a New Relationship

New relationships are exciting, intriguing, and can leave you with so many feelings that are hard to explain. Quotes are the perfect way to get those feelings across or to even help yourself figure out what you are feeling.

1. “It was instinctive, the way I fell for you. Like an effortless intake of breath.” – Josh Walker

2. “Because I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you.” – Author unknown

3. “I would do all, whatever, and any things as long as doing them meant doing them with you.” – Tyler Knott Gregson

4. “The first time you touched me, I knew I was born to be yours.” — Author unknown

5. “For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”
– Stephanie Perkins

6. “Love is not about how many days, weeks or months you’ve been together, it’s all about how much you love each other every day.” – Author unknown

7. “I wish I could turn back the clock. I’d find you sooner and love you longer.” — Author unknown

8. “She knew she loved him when ‘home’ went from being a place to being a person.” — E. Leventhal

9. “You. Your smile. Your voice. Your eyes. Your personality. You.” – Tamara Stamenkovic

Romantic Quotes For Those Who Are Married Or In a Long-Term Relationship

It can be hard to keep the romance alive when you have been in a relationship with the same person for a while. It can be easy to get so caught up in the routine of daily life that you forget to think about how your partner makes you feel.

10. “Sometimes it’s your voice, other times it’s your face, every time it’s your touch, but you always fix me.” – Leo Christopher

11. “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë

12. “True love stories never have endings.” – Richard Bach

13. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

14. “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft

15. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.” — Nicholas Sparks

16. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” — Victor Hugo

17. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” — Angelita Lim

18. “Maybe the only vow we ever need to offer the one we love is this: I will never, not for a sliver of a second, make you feel alone.” — Tyler Knott Gregson

19. “I love you past the moon and miss you beyond the stars.” — J.M. Storm

20. “I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together.” — A.R. Asher

21. “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” – Ann Landers

Romantic Quotes For Those in Rocky Relationships

Most relationships experience hard times. It is completely normal, and coming through those hard times can make the relationship even stronger. There are love quotes that can be applied directly to these situations.

22. “I’m not perfect. I’ll annoy you, piss you off, say stupid things, then take it all back. But put that all aside and you’ll never find a person who cares or loves you more than me.” — Author unknown

23. “True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” – Ricardo Montalban

24. “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

25. “Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.” – Diane Arbus

26. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant

27. “I will never be perfect for you, but I will always imperfectly try to be.” – Atticus

28. “Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” – Emily Kimbrough

29. “You’re not looking for perfection in your partner. Perfection is all about the ego. With soulmate love, you know that true love is what happens when disappointment sets in – and you’re willing to deal maturely with these disappointments.” – Karen Salmansohn

30. “When love is not madness it is not love.” – Pedro Calderón de la Barca

31. “When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most.” — Author unknown

Love Quotes For Those Who Can’t Be Together

There may be instances in your life where you love someone that you can’t be with. This causes love to be more painful than expected, and it can lead to feelings you’ve never experienced before. It isn’t uncommon, and there are romantic quotes that attempt to describe the feelings involved.

32. “The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.” — Gilbert K. Chesterton

33. “Hands that never touch. Lips that never meet. The Almost Lovers, never to be.” – Rae Hachton

34. “If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.” – Oscar Wilde

35. “You’ll always be my favorite ‘what if’.” – The Great Gatsby

36. “I keep myself busy with things to do, but every time I pause I still think of you.” – Cecelia Ahern

Quotes to Send to An Ex

37. “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” – H. L. Mencken

38. “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” – Maya Angelou

39. “Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” – Author unknown

40. “Souls tend to go back to who feels like home.” – N.R. Heart

41. “My heart is and always will be yours.” – Jane Austen

42. “Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.” — Bette Davis

43. “Better to have lost and loved than never to have loved at all.” — Ernest Hemingway

44. “Sometimes there is more magic in “I miss you” than in “I love you.” – Author unknown

45. “I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.” – Cynthia Hand

Quotes to a Friend Who Doesn’t Know You Love Them

Forming a deep friendship with someone is risky because you are also risking falling in love with them. When romantic love gets in the way of a friendship, everything can be ruined. This may stop you from voicing your feelings to your friend, but sometimes it is worth the risk.

46. “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

47. “I looked at him as a friend until I realized I loved him.” — Author unknown

48. “I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

49. “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.” — Lao Tzu

50. “To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.” – Valerie Lombardo

51. “You are my best friend, my human diary and my other half. You mean the world to me and I love you.” — Author unknown

Final Thoughts On Romantic Quotes For Anyone In Love

Romantic quotes can help you understand your feelings, or they can help you tell your partner how you really feel about them. Love occurs no matter how long you’ve known someone, and no matter the situation. Whether you want to enjoy these yourself or pass them on, these love quotes are highly relatable for anyone in love.

Canada Reveals Bill That Bans Keeping Whales and Dolphins Captive

March 19, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Canada has passed a bill banning whales and dolphins in captivity.

Bill S-203, passed by the Canadian parliament, passed on February 1, 2019 (after three years of intense infighting), the capture and captivity of dolphins and whales. Here’s an excerpt from the law, courtesy of the Parliament of Canada:

‘The criminal code is amended (as follows):
‘445.2 (1) In this section, cetacean includes any member of the cetacean order, including a whale, dolphin or porpoise.
(2) Subject to subsections (3) and (3.1), everyone commits an offence who
(a) owns, has the custody of or controls a cetacean that is kept in captivity;
(b) breeds or impregnates a cetacean; or
(c) possesses or seeks to obtain reproductive materials of cetaceans, including sperm or an embryo.’

Admittedly, there was a bit of “bitter-sweetness” as well. Why? If you’re from the United States, the proposition that our government would ever come together to do something so astounding, so moving – and for another species, at that – is dubious at best. The Canadian parliament’s display of solidarity and compassion for species other than ours is as inspiring as it is moving. (The last U.S. federal law passed regulating the treatment of aquatic animals was in 1979.)

The sweetness of this victory:

Nothing less than the freedom of the most intelligent and social species of a non-human animal.
Knowing that no dolphin or whale will ever again be captured and held captive in the territory of Canada.

Canadian animal rights activists and those who believe in the ethical treatment of animals can rest knowing that dolphins and whales are free and protected in their habitat. At least in the waters surrounding their own country.

To understand the significance of Canada’s legislative achievement, one must understand the special nature of these creatures and the harm that capture and captivity inflicts. We’ll begin by discussing the wonders of dolphins and whales.

Some Information on Majestic Dolpins

“Dolphins are highly social animals, often living in pods of up to a dozen … [and] are often regarded as one of the Earth’s most intelligent animals …” – Wikipedia

There are no fewer than 44 distinct species of dolphin. Thirty-eight of these species are oceanic (living in the oceans), and six are river dolphins. In 2011, we discovered a new species of dolphin – the Burrunan Dolphin (Tursiops australis).

All subspecies of dolphins have a similar appearance: a streamlined body and two limbs that serve as flippers. All dolphin species have conical (cone-shaped) teeth used to entrap often elusive prey. The exceptionally contoured body of dolphins permits some species to swim nearly 48 kilometers per hour (30 mph).

The Human Relationship With Dolphins

Dolphins have a long history in human culture, going back to Ancient Greece. In Greek literature, dolphins are referred to fondly – often as helpers of humans and as a good omen for fishermen. They feature prominently in stories of mythology and lore. Some countries feature the dolphin on their coat of arms (the most significant symbol aside from the national flag). The nation of Anguilla’s coat of arms consists of three dolphins forming a 360-degree circle above what appears to be a shallow pool of water.

Casual observation and studies have proven the capabilities of dolphins to be very familiar with their human counterparts. An excellent (and sweet!) example: dolphins approach pregnant women more slowly and deliberately than others. This behavior may stem from the animal’s echolocation abilities, which allows the dolphin to detect heartbeats. Videos of humans swimming and interacting with bottlenose dolphins in the wild are not uncommon. (Note: Under the Federal Marine Mammal Protection Act, swimming with wild dolphins is considered harassment and thus illegal.)

Because of the highly social nature of dolphins, they can bond and develop relationships with humans. Dolphins can communicate with humans using both verbal and nonverbal gestures effectively.

Besides forming close bonds with humans, dolphins have been known to save human life. Stories abound of dolphin pods circling sharks to allow victims and potential victims time to swim to safety. In one touching story, a New Zealander describes a pod of four dolphins encircling a great white shark for over forty minutes until the predator finally loses interest and swam away in defeat.

The Gracious Whale: A Background

“Whales are social, air breathing mammals, they feed their babies with their own milk, and they take extraordinarily good care of their young and teach them life skills.” – Whale and Dolphin Conservation

Forty-one confirmed species of whale exist. Whales are classed into two groups depending on whether they have individual teeth or baleen (sheaths of large bone that form the animal’s jaw). While dolphins and whales belong to the same family (cetaceans), clear differences exist.

One of the noticeable characteristics of most whales is their sheer size. The largest animal in the world, the blue whale, weighs an extraordinary 140,000 kilograms (308,647 pounds!). For comparison: the killer Orca whales, like those at SeaWorld, average “just” 3,600 to 5,400 kg (7,936 to 11,905 pounds.)

Like dolphins, whales swim exceptionally fast. The second-largest whale, the sperm whale, can reach speeds up to 45 kilometers per hour (28 mph).

The Whale/Human Relationship

Despite the “scary” image that the media likes conjuring up for entertainment, there are no known instances of an orca whale killing a human being in the wild. Whales and humans get along swimmingly (pun intended).

Like humans, whales are extremely social creatures. Whales have been observed caressing each other in ways similar to humans. However, there is still a complex relationship between the two species.

First, humans are abysmal caretakers of the environment. Global warming brought about by industrial activity has endangered the oceans and, therefore, the whale habitat. Moreover, sea vessels (as large as cruise ships and as small as fishing boats) cause the death of many whales. Concerning the latter, whales often get caught in fishing nets, which can injure or even kill the animal. Indeed, human activity, particularly commercial activity, continues to endanger the delicate ecosystems that support whale (and other aquatic animals) life.

Dolphin and Whale Captivity? Science (and Common Sense) Says “No!”

“… these environments … impose tremendous stress on the part of captive animals, and place burdens on populations from which they are often captured.” – Lori Marino and Toni Frohoff

To understand the probable harm that captivity inflicts on dolphins, whales, and porpoises, one must consider these creatures’ natural, instinctual behavior.

First, it’s not uncommon for dolphins and whales to travel hundreds of miles a day. Now, contrast this instinct with the conditions imposed on these animals in captivity. Per the Animal Welfare Act (AWA) of 1979, a bottlenose dolphin can be kept in a space of no larger than 24 by 24 feet – at a depth of just 6 feet. One needn’t be a statistician to conclude that such conditions don’t suffice for such a mobile animal. And one needn’t be a marine biologist to conclude that such requirements are woefully inadequate to a creature programmed to roam the vast oceans.

The Impact of Captivity

“It is therefore reasonable to postulate that the conditions of capture and confinement might be as stressful and harmful to dolphins as they would be to humans.” – Nick Carter

Intelligence and emotionality come at a cost. We, humans, are perfect examples of this phenomenon. Our brains are highly evolved capable of complex problem-solving and highly sensitive to stress. No life situations are as stressful as exposure to trauma, and few events are more traumatic than separation from family. Evidence suggests that animals of high intelligence – in this case, dolphins – are no different.

According to a study published in The Human Society Institute for Science and Policy, the innate complexity of dolphins makes them highly susceptive to stress-related illness, injury, and death. Psychological “shock” – a “condition of collapse” from exposure to physical or psychological trauma – is thought to occur during capture, “in addition to the stress during and after landing, transport, and eventual confinement.”

“Capture shock” evidently contributes to the shortened lifespan evident among all dolphin species in captivity. Moreover, the agitation and stress of captivity may also have contributed to numerous tragedies involving dolphins and humans.

For example, consider the 2011 SeaWorld incident. While no known dolphin-initiated human death has occurred in the wild, it has occurred in captivity – numerous times. The Orca (killer whale) Tilikum, featured in the documentary Blackfish, caused the death of three trainers before dying at the age of 36. (The average lifespan of wild Orcas is 50 to 80 years.)

Final Thoughts on the Bill That Bans Holding Whales and Dolphins in Captivity

“One day the absurdity of the almost universal human belief in the slavery of other animals will be palpable. We shall have then discovered our souls and become worthier of sharing this planet with them.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

The hard truth is that humans commit an atrocious act when capturing and enclosing a wild animal. Atrocities that we can only attribute to typical human ignorance and greed – in other words, human ego.

For these reasons and more, what Canadian lawmakers displayed by passing S-203 was heroic. It’s also woefully inadequate when viewed from a macro perspective. But it’s a wonderful, courageous first step.

A sincere and appreciative “Thank You!” to all Canadians who made this happen. Let’s celebrate. Then let us get back to work.

8 Signs of Postpartum Depression (and How to Deal with It)

March 19, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Those first few weeks after bringing a baby into the world are a fraught time for new mothers. For most, this first chapter in baby’s life is characterized by sleep deprivation, recovery from the physical ordeal of birth, and struggling to find a new sense of normalcy in the cycle of diapers and late-night feedings.

Between this sudden upheaval at home and the huge hormonal fluctuations occurring inside a new mother’s body, it’s understandable that many women find themselves feeling anxious, weepy, and irritable; the is state popularly referred to as “baby blues.” But for some mothers, these emotional irregularities represent a much more serious condition.

What is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression is a condition as common as it is misunderstood. According to the American Psychiatric Association, as many as one in seven new mothers will experience symptoms of postpartum depression (or PPD) after giving birth. But what sets PPD apart from the more benign “baby blues” reported by the majority of new mothers? And how can you tell when it’s time to seek professional help?

Before we delve into the eight signs of postpartum depression, let’s take a closer look at baby blues so we can better differentiate between the two. According to the Mayo Clinic, baby blues can include any combination of the following symptoms:

– Difficulty sleeping
– Loss of appetite
– Difficulty concentrating
– Feelings of overwhelm
– Anxiety
– Mood swings
– Irritability
– Sadness
– Crying

The most important thing to note about these symptoms is that they typically only last for a few days up to a couple of weeks after your baby’s birth. If these symptoms persist in duration or intensity, then postpartum depression may be to blame.

Postpartum depression symptoms usually begin within the first few weeks after giving birth, but in some cases they may set in much earlier — even during pregnancy — or much later, even up to a year after giving birth. Over time, these symptoms may interfere with your ability to bond with and care for your child, which is why early intervention is so necessary.

Eight Postpartum Depression Symptoms to Watch Out For

1. You’re Having Difficulty Attaching to Your Baby

Most of us have heard new mothers and fathers talk about the rush of instant love they felt when laying eyes on their new baby for the first time. We’re told this sense of adoration is unlike anything we have ever felt before, that it’s a love more intense and profound than anything we can imagine prior to becoming parents.

Reality, however, is more complicated than that. A truth seldom discussed openly is that many parents take longer to form a bond with their infants. They develop a sense of affection over the first few weeks of their baby’s life rather than in the seconds immediately following birth. This is normal and should not be mistaken for a sign of depression.

However, if weeks after giving birth you find you still have no sense of attachment to or affection for your baby, this may signify that you are experiencing postpartum depression symptoms.

2. You Have a Constant Fear of Being a “Bad Mother”

Every new mom has moments of feeling like a failure for missing one of baby’s cues or making the sort of mistakes every first-time parent makes. But a persistent, unremitting sense that you are unfit to be a mother may signify more than just anxiety and negative self-talk. It can be a sign of postpartum depression.

If you notice that more of your waking hours are spent worrying whether you’re caring for your baby correctly than just reveling in the tender moments of new motherhood, consider seeking professional help.

3. You’re Having Difficulty Sleeping

It’s no secret that new parents are short on sleep. But if you find yourself unable to sleep even when your baby is napping, or wide awake all through the night even after a long, arduous day, it may be time to see a doctor.

It goes without saying that all new parents can expect to experience some loss of sleep. However, ongoing irregularity in your sleep cycle is a probable sign that you’re experiencing something more than just the hectic schedule associated with having an infant at home.

4. You’ve Lost Interest in Things You Once Enjoyed

If, in those few moments of respite from tending to your new baby, you find yourself unable to enjoy a favorite TV show, book, or meal, depression may be the culprit. The same goes if you find yourself with little motivation to get out of the house or enjoy a day to yourself while somebody else looks after the baby.

Loss of enjoyment in favorite activities is a common feature of depression in adults, and PPD is no different. If it feels like the happiness has been sucked out of activities that used to bring you joy and satisfaction, or if you can no longer relish having a whole afternoon to yourself, a doctor’s visit is a good idea.

5. You’re Experiencing Constant Anxiety

Every new mom feels occasional anxiety while caring for a newborn. There are lots of unanswered (and sometimes impossible to answer) questions about whether you’re making the best choices for your baby, whether you’re doing it “right.” This is normal when you’re first learning how to be a parent.

But if the anxiety has you in its grip and won’t let go, it may be a postpartum depression symptom. If, for example, you can’t comfortably leave your baby at home with your partner or a parent without feeling the need to call and check in, this may mean your anxiety is related to PPD.

6. Feelings of Worthlessness or Hopelessness

Even in times of intense struggle, most of us are able to talk ourselves through with reminders that this condition is only temporary, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. But if you’ve stopped seeing that light and can’t envision a time where you no longer feel as drained, anxious, or unhappy as you do right now, that’s probably the voice of postpartum depression talking.

It’s normal to feel bleak in times of great struggle, but if your self-talk is “Life is going to be this way forever,” that’s a sign that now is an opportune time to seek professional help.

7. Recurring Thoughts of Death or Suicide

If your sense of hopelessness has become so severe that you find yourself fantasizing about death or contemplating suicide, do not delay: Make an appointment with your healthcare provider as soon as possible. This is one of the most unambiguous postpartum depression symptoms and a clear sign that you need immediate professional help.

Seeking help in this condition can feel deeply shameful to some. Mothers, after all, are supposed to love their babies unconditionally, and to love motherhood. But sometimes our brain chemistry just doesn’t allow for those loving feelings, and that is not your fault. It simply means you need more support than you’re getting.

8. Thoughts of Harming Yourself or Your Baby

This is the most urgent symptom of postpartum depression and a sure sign that you should seek medical attention as soon as possible. Self-harm can be deadly even when it isn’t intended to be fatal and the impulse to do it should be treated as the emergency it is.

Thoughts of harming your baby can also represent a more serious psychiatric condition known as postpartum psychosis. This condition typically appears in the first few weeks after birth and can present with some very frightening symptoms, including:

– Obsessive thinking about yourself or your baby
– Hallucinations and delusional thinking
– Paranoia (such as thinking someone is going to take your baby from you)
– Sleep disturbances
– Excessive energy/mania
– Confused thinking and disorientation
– Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
– Attempts to harm yourself or your baby

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you should seek emergency medical attention.

When to Ask for Help

If you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or thoughts of harming your baby, you should proceed to the nearest emergency room.

However, if you’re experiencing any of the other symptoms on the following list, you should seek help. If the symptoms …

… have not faded after two weeks.
… are making it difficult for you to complete everyday tasks (such as bathing, getting dressed, or feeding yourself).
… are making it hard for you to care for your baby.
… seem to be worsening over time.

The first few days of motherhood are a period of adjustment. Many mothers experience conflicted feelings. These may include mourning their previous, child-free lives, and feeling anxiety about whether they’re parenting correctly. They may also face difficulty concentrating due to their irregular sleep schedule. Some struggle and frustration is normal at this time.

If you find it isn’t getting better as your baby grows, take action. You owe it to your child and yourself to speak to a doctor so you can obtain the care you need. You deserve to lead a happy, healthy life.

12 Ways To Get Rid Of Heartburn Naturally

March 19, 2019 by Power of Positivity

If you are an adult, you have probably experienced heartburn in your life. The symptom for heartburn is a burning sensation that is uncomfortable and located behind the right breastbone. Sometimes, the feeling moves to the throat.

Heartburn is caused by acid reflux, which results from the unlawful relaxation of the ring of muscle responsible for allowing food to enter your stomach. Hence, acid flows from your stomach to your esophagus; in turn, you experience heartburn. When you think about it, that uncomfortable feeling is actually acid burning your throat.

While medicine from your nearest chemist is readily available, it is possible to use other methods to avoid heartburn. Here are twelve natural remedies you can use to avoid heartburn.

Get Rid Of Heartburn Naturally

1. Almonds

One of the natural remedies of getting rid of your acid sensation is consuming almonds after every meal. This means that you should have almonds every time you have a snack, a meal, or something as simple as a fruit.

Almonds are not just tasty, but they also neutralize the acidic juices in your stomach. Hence, they will relieve you from any pain that is caused by reflux. They will also prevent some of the instances where acid reflux would occur.

Try and use organic almonds to get the best results. Eat three or four almonds after every meal, and you will be fine. More than that is not necessary but is still welcome. However, there are cases where consuming excess amounts of almonds trigger acid in the same way that they relieve headaches but can trigger migraines if used in excess.

2. Apples

Apples have antacids that can help your fight against acid reflux. You can have one apple daily, or you can consume an apple after a meal before you go to bed. It will help you reduce the discomfort as well as avoid heartburn.

3. Apple Cider Vinegar

When someone advises you to take more acid when you already have acid burning your guts, you might think they are crazy. However, in most cases, the reflux of acid that you experience is due to having less acid in the stomach. The acid is responsible for instructing the lower esophageal sphincter to close off after getting tighter. If you produce small amounts of acid, the lower esophageal sphincter will assume that loosening up for a while is not a problem.

The result is acid reflux in your gut. Hence, drinking raw, unfiltered, and pure apple cider vinegar will cut off the reflux. Mix three teaspoons of the vinegar with eight ounces of water.

Drink the mixture before meals, bedtime, or three times within the day. However, if the sensation worsens, discontinue the use of apple cider vinegar.

4. Chamomile Tea

When you consume chamomile tea half an hour or one hour before you go to sleep, you can reduce any inflammation in your stomach. Chamomile tea also reduces stress, another trigger for heartburn. Additionally, it can neutralize the acidic levels in your stomach, letting you sleep peacefully throughout the night.

Drink instant chamomile tea or make it fresh by using a strainer, one teaspoon of dried chamomile flower petals, honey and one cup of water. You can also use lemon in place of the honey.

Boil the water in a pot. Add the chamomile petals, reduce heat and stir. Then, let the mixture simmer for about forty-five minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and leave the petals to soak in the water for one or two more minutes. Strain the mixture, pour the tea in your mug, add honey or lemon and enjoy your tea.

5. Baking Soda

To get rid of the acid sensation, you can use one spoonful of baking soda. Sodium bicarbonate is a base substance with a pH that is greater than seven. Hence, it will neutralize the acid that is in your stomach. This means that when the acid present in your stomach travels to your throat, you will fail to experience the burning sensation.

To create the solution, mix one teaspoon of the baking soda in a glass of water. The glass should not have a capacity of more than eight ounces.

Stir the mixture thoroughly and drink everything in the glass. Take the mixture as often as you want. However, you should not consume more than seven half teaspoons of baking soda within twenty-four hours. Also, use this remedy for one week only, since the high-salt content can result in swelling and nausea.

6. Aloe Juice

Instead of using aloe juice to relieve sunburn only, you can also use it to avoid heartburn. This is because aloe juice reduces inflammation. Hence, if your stomach gets inflamed, irritated, or if your esophagus gets burnt by the acid, a glass of aloe juice will soothe the discomfort.

All you require is half a cup of aloe juice. You can drink the juice while it is cool or at room temperature. Also, take the drink before your meals.

Remember that aloe juice has laxative components. Therefore, when buying aloe juice, consider a brand that is free from the laxative component.

7. Chew Gum

A study was conducted by the Journal of Dental Research, and it concluded that people who show symptoms of chronic acid or Gastro esophageal reflux disease (GERD) usually find relief from chewing gum for about thirty minutes after they have their meal. The gum has to be sugar-free.

This is a result of the increase in saliva produced when chewing. The saliva dilutes the acid in the gut and washes it away, thus, improving the present symptoms of GERD.

After your meal, take a piece of gum and chew it for the next thirty minutes. Ensure that the gum is sugar-free so that you can relieve any painful acidic sensations in your gut.

8. Ginger Tea

Many stomach issues can be resolved through the use of ginger-root tea. Take one cup of freshly made ginger tea twenty minutes before you have a meal. It will calm down any evident signs of heartburn.

You will need two cups of water and three-quarter sized slices of ginger to make the tea. Cut the slices of ginger and simmer them in the water gently for up to thirty minutes. Ensure that the mixture remains covered while simmering.

When the mixture is done, drink all of it before your meal. You can leave the ginger slices in the drink, or you can remove them if that is your preference.

9. Mustard

Mustard is alkaline. It is also filled with many minerals and vinegar. Vinegar is a weak acid.

Hence, consuming raw mustard might alleviate your burning sensation once you get past the initial grimace. Its alkalinity will neutralize the acid in your gut and your stomach. In turn, it will get rid of the painful sensation you are experiencing.

Take one teaspoon of your top quality yellow mustard. Master as much courage as you need and consume the mustard straight from the spoon. Then wait a few minutes and feel the pain go away.

10. Sleep on an Incline

The uncomfortable sensations that you experience from acid reflux usually increase at night. This is because when you sleep, your body is in a reclining position, and gravity will work against you. Hence, the contents in your stomach, including the acid, can quickly get into your esophagus.

Therefore, to avoid heartburn, you can try and elevate your head when you go to sleep. You can do this by placing blocks under the legs that are positioned at the head of your bed. Try and attain an elevation of six inches.

You can also use a wedge-shaped pillow and place it under your mattress. However, do not place pillows under the mattress since it is easy to slip off them. Additionally, avoid sleeping until three hours after you have had your meal.

11. Loose Fitting Clothes

I know you love showing off your figure, especially during that special occasion. However, when you wear clothes that are tight around your middle and your waist, it can lead to acid reflux.

Take, for instance, wearing tight jeans; the simple action of seating causes the waistband to sink into the region of your abdomen. As a result, a lot of excess pressure will be put on your lower esophageal sphincter. This excess pressure will push your stomach contents through, and you will have reflux. You can get the same reaction if you wear tight belts. For others, wearing a tight shirt can also lead to reflux.

Therefore, if you are prone to acid reflux, try and wear clothes that fit loosely.

12. Track The Things That Trigger You

Making sure that you track the causes of your heartburn might be the solution you need to get rid of it altogether. The process will require dedication, energy, and time. However, your discovery will prevent you from relying on medications and other forms of remedy.

Keep a diary that you can use to record the foods you eat. Be aware of how you eat your foods and when you eat. This is because large mouthfuls will interfere with digestion and can result in excess production of acid.

Additionally, specific foods such as spicy foods and citrus foods that are high in acidic content can increase acid reflux. Also, be aware of your activities and the clothes that you wear every day.

Conclusion

Using natural remedies to get rid of your reflux may turn out to be a trial and error process, but in the long run, it will be worth the effort.

15 Things To Never Do If You Want to Be Successful

March 19, 2019 by Power of Positivity

If there is one widespread misconception about success, it’s that you must always be doing something to be successful. We hear things like, “Stay busy!” or, “Keep grinding.” This is B.S. Not only is such advice toxic, but it is also blatantly false.

The Pareto Principle

Need a bit of proof? Let’s look at the Pareto Principle. Also known as the “80/20 rule,” the Pareto Principle proves, again and again, that 80 percent of outcomes comprise 20 percent of the “effort.” Here are a few scenarios (there are many more) where the Pareto Principle applies:

In economics: Roughly 80 percent of the global gross domestic product is owned by 20 percent of the population, and 80 percent of U.S. federal income taxes are paid by the top 20 percent.
In public health: 80 percent of all workplace injuries are caused by 20 percent of the hazards. Additionally, 80 percent of all healthcare resources are used up by 20 percent of patients.
In business: In many workplaces, 80 percent of total sales come from 20 percent of clients. In a more abstract example, it is said that 80 percent of all work outcomes are products of 20 percent of time spent. Another way of putting this is that 80 percent of an 8-hour day’s total productivity is realized in roughly an hour and a half!

So, the Pareto Principle conveys the critical truth that a disproportionate amount of many outcomes can be achieved by a relatively small amount of input. When it comes to being successful, the Pareto Principle has utility – including in how we spend our time, and, just as important, how we don’t spend our time!

In this article, we’re going to discuss some things you should simply never do if you want to ensure success for yourself. You read that right! Just by not doing certain things, you can become more successful or – at the very least – increase your odds of success!

Here are 15 things to never do if you want to be successful:

“Doing less is not being lazy. Don’t give in to a culture that values personal sacrifice over personal productivity.” – Tim Ferriss

1. Stop seeking pleasure and start looking for purpose.

The individuals who make life all about pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain will probably find that they experience more of the latter. For the vast majority of successful people, their situation did not come about without a good deal of sacrifice (read: discomfort). In the context of happiness and success, this means long hours, sleepless nights, and “missing out” on things that would do nothing but distract them from their ultimate goal – the fulfillment of their purpose.

2. Stop mindlessly perusing social (and other) media.

Social media has its usefulness, but we’re quickly becoming slaves to it. Instead of keeping in touch with family, many people seem to live for posting about every meaningless thing that occurs. On a macro level, American adults are spending 11 hours per day “listening to, watching, reading or generally interacting with media.” In the context of this article, such vociferous consumption of media is a massive distraction – and no one becomes successful by turning into a mindless drone.

3. Stop imagining painful outcomes.

Negative rumination is a byproduct of not wanting to be where you’re at – in the here and now. Worry always involves thinking of the past or future. Of course, success and fulfillment are byproducts of paying attention to what must be done in the present. Your time would be much better spent by directing your focus towards the things that will help you become a successful, fulfilled person.

4. Stop any and all procrastination.

Here’s the thing about procrastination: the “pain” that is caused by putting something off is worse than actually doing it! Read that again. The human brain has a weird way of catastrophizing just about everything. Such a tendency can make it difficult to start (and finish) work that needs to be done. If not checked, these innate responses can thwart efforts to better your situation.

5. Stop needing to be right.

You’ll notice, as you read through this article, the numerous ways in which ego can sabotage your life. Fear, worry, rumination, procrastination … all of these are the ego at work. The insistence on being right is another sign of identification with ego. Trying to prove yourself right is nothing but a waste of energy and time. Instead, use this energy and time to accomplish something.

6. Stop trying to be a hero.

Look, it’s terrific if you’re willing to help others. In this day and age, heaven knows that we need people like you now more than ever. The thing is that such benevolence should come with a feeling of fulfillment – or, at the very least, the absence of regret. If it doesn’t, it may be a good time to reconsider your priorities. Are you living the life that you want?

7. Stop worrying about the future.

In Buddhist traditions, followers are encouraged to meditate on impermanence – the fleeting nature of existence. What does this have to do with success? First, it encourages examination of the word “success.” What is success to you? Is your interpretation of success conducive to your values? Second, it reminds us that life is short and that we’re more likely to find true success in the present moment.

8. Stop the comparison game.

We love to compare ourselves with others, don’t we? Well, here’s the thing about this (uniquely human) trait: it does nothing but make us feel bad. Surely, you’ve noticed this as well. So why do we do it? Will comparing yourself help you be where you want? Of course not! So, stop already! (By the way, this is another solid reason to lay off the social media.)

9. Stop focusing on the wrong things.

Are you honestly doing what you want to do? In other words, are you doing what’s needed to live a genuinely successful life? If not, could it be that you are focusing too much on the wrong things? Are you devoting time and energy to things that make you no better off as a person? Think about this for some time.

10. Stop the incessant mind chatter.

Sometimes it seems as if our minds will never stop churning out thoughts. Experts estimate that the mind wanders between 30 to 50 percent of the time. Harvard psychologists Daniel T. Gilbert and Matthew A. Killingsworth, authors of this study, conclude, “A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.”

11. Stop being caught off-guard by others.

This one is all about not allowing other people to dictate your happiness and success. It’s all about drawing the line with those who need it and, if required, cutting them out of your life. If true success is desired, you must be willing to let go of those who are holding you back. Furthermore, do not tolerate behavior that is directed against you without cause.

12. Stop being a slave to bad habits.

Habits form a big part of our life. Consciously or unconsciously, habitual thoughts and behaviors impact most of the decisions that we make throughout our day. Bad habits can be an impediment to success and must be dealt with appropriately. Learn how to form good habits and get rid of bad ones.

13. Stop being a busybody.

Marcus Aurelius said it best: “Do not waste what remains of your life in speculating about your neighbors. Anything that distracts you from fidelity to the ruler within you means a loss of opportunity from some other task.” Anything and everything involving gossip should have been left in the high school that we all left a long time ago.

14. Stop underestimating yourself.

Speaking of Marcus Aurelius, he also said, “You have the power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Too many people underestimate the power of the mind in accomplishing their goals. Moreover, allowing distorted ideas about who you are to derail the route to success is tragic. Understand your capabilities and work on your weaknesses.

15. Stop the feelings of failure or regret.

Nothing good can come of replaying your shortcomings on that video player in your mind. We all fail and we all have regrets. The only difference is what we choose to do about them.

Will they hold you back or drive you forward? Start making new memories and building toward a more positive future.

5 Exercises Women Over 40 Should Never Ignore

March 19, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Aging is a difficult and complex process. If you’re not caring for your body with proper exercises and self care, by the age of 40, you may begin to see a downward spiral. You’ll have aches and pains in new places, notice lowered mobility, and even deal with new mental health issues.

But there is a way to work with the aging process, making it more graceful and less detrimental to you: exercise! Many exercises have been scientifically proven to provide positive results for women of a certain age.

Here Are 5 Exercises Women Over 40 Should Never Ignore

1. Squats

Big butts go in and out of fashion with the years, and with them squats gain and lose popularity time and time again. But squats aren’t just about getting a round, prominent backside – they’re great for lots of things, including:

a) Muscle Building

Squats are a unique exercise that creates a great anabolic response in the body that promotes better muscle building all over the body. So not only do they give you stronger, toned legs, but the entire body benefits.

We tend to lose muscle mass as we age, so if you’re over 40, you’ll want to add squats to your routine.

b) Flexibility

Age causes the body’s components to lose their elastic qualities. That’s why working to boost your overall flexibility works wonders. Squats provide the ability to increase your limberness as you bend and stretch your legs for the best workout.

c) Mobility

Without strong legs, it becomes trickier to move around when you get older. Squat exercises can help provide strength to your lower body, and the extra attention they put on the core can make your center stronger.

d) Balance

The same muscles you build through squats that help your mobility also help your balance. Plus, training your body this way improves the communication that occurs between the muscles and brain, so you have better, faster response times to avoid accidents.

e) Calorie Burning

The muscles you build from performing squats allow your body to become better and more efficient at burning fat and calories. If you do your squats with weights, there will be even more benefits. Weight gain is a customary part of getting older, so squats fight the process.

f) Injury Prevention

A lot of injuries happen due to weak muscles, ligaments, and tissues. With the strengthening abilities that squats provide, you can avoid these injuries, which become more prevalent as you age.

g) Heart and Lung Health

When you do squats, your cardiac muscles gradually gain strength, and your lung capacity will start to increase the more you workout. This helps you to keep these organs strong, preventing disease risk.

Of course, you have to do squats the right way to get these results. Here’s how to do a proper squat that yields amazing results!

Start by standing straight with your feet shoulder-width apart, or wider if desired.
Hold your arms out straight in front of you. Alternatively, bend your elbows, or simply clasp your hands together ahead of you.
Lower yourself down in a sitting motion, as if you’re trying to sit on an invisible chair. Remember, your head should stay looking forward the entire time. Your lower back should arch ever so slightly as you lower yourself, and your upper body should bend forward a little bit.
Get yourself as low as you can until your thighs are parallel to the floor, knees set above your ankles. Put your weight on the heels of your feet.
Hold the position for around 10 seconds, or start with less and work your way up to a desired length.
When ready to return to your original position, push up through your heels so you’re back where you started.
Do about 10 reps and 3 sets, and slowly add reps as you become better at the exercise.

2. Planks

Planks are great for full body exercise, and they’re especially good for guarding against back pain. Many individuals develop some degree of chronic back pain between 30 and 40 years old, so planking is definitely one of the exercises women over 40 should never ignore.

Planks work well because they provide added core strength, and they tone those core muscles extremely well. This exercise provides a great ab workout while also helping muscles in the chest and back, which then allows your mid-torso area to tighten and become strong.

Planks will give your lower back the additional support it needs to avoid pain as you age, explains personal trainer Holly Perkins.

There are a few different ways to do a plank, ranging from the most common, standard way to easier ways that you can start with if you’re having trouble with the exercise move.

a) Variation 1: Normal Plank

This is the standard type of plank that provides the best results.

Start in a push-up like position. Your hands should be beneath your shoulders, just a little wider apart than shoulder width.
Press your toes against the floor, squeezing your glute muscles, using these areas to keep yourself balanced. Make sure your knees are not hyperextended or locked.
Keep your spine and neck in a neutral position. This is best accomplished by focusing on a chosen area in the floor above you, just around a foot in front of your hands. Make sure, also, that your head is lined up with your back.
Hold the position. Start with just 20 seconds if you have trouble, and work your way up to 90.

b) Variation 2: Forearm Plank

A slightly easier variation, the forearm plank is highly popular due to the fact that it still provides a good workout while being easier on your body while you build muscle.

Rest your forearms on the floor, making sure your elbows are well-aligned under your shoulders.
Keep your arms at a parallel position to your body, about a shoulder width away from your torso.
Clasp your fingers together. You can also place your palms flat against the floor.
Keep your spine and neck in a neutral position. This is best accomplished by focusing on a chosen area on the floor above you, just around a foot in front of your hands. Make sure, also, that your head is lined up with your back.
Hold the position. Start with just 20 seconds if you have trouble, and work your way up to 90.

c) Variation 3: Knee Plank

This is a very easy variation of the standard plank, so if you’re a beginner to the fitness world, it’s a great position to start with! Plus, it allows you to be extra aware of your form, so when you transition into a more difficult plank, you’ll do it in the right way.

Rest your knees on the ground. This keeps stress out from the lower region of your back. If you like, you can rest them on a rolled towel or mat.
Your hands should be beneath your shoulders, just a little wider apart than shoulder width, in a push-up-like position.
Keep your spine and neck in a neutral position. This is best accomplished by focusing on a chosen area in the floor above you, just around a foot in front of your hands. Make sure, also, that your head is lined up with your back.
Hold the position. Start with just 20 seconds if you have trouble, and work your way up to 90.

3. Strength Training and Weight Lifting

Joint pain, stiffness, and arthritis become more likely to develop the older you get, especially if you’re also carrying some extra weight or have suffered a previous injury to your joints. One of the best ways to fend off this impending threat is through strength training, as well as through weight lifting.

Strength training doesn’t necessarily have to involve lifting dumbbells (that falls under weight lifting), and it can just consist of a few simple moves. Some of these moves will be made more effective with weights, but it isn’t necessary to use them. Here are some common exercises you can do.

Push-up
Squat
Plank
Burpee
Mountain climber
Lunge
Wall sit
Calf raise
Step up
Jumps
Kicks
Limb raises
Superman
Tricep dip
Arm circles
Crunches
Glute bridge

These are all just suggestions – there are plenty of amazing workout options to choose from!

Lifting weights and performing any kind of strength training can relieve pain in those with arthritis, as well as prevent pain from occurring and even ward off arthritis for good. The lack of pain will improve many aspects of your life as you age, including energy levels, mobility, and positive thinking.

4. Yoga Exercises

From the ages of 45 to 64, women have a higher chance of developing depression, says John Hopkins Medicine. Yoga has been proven to have positive effects on the mood thanks to its boosting of GABA, which is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate your moods – and one that tends to be absent in those with depressive disorders.

Studies have shown that yoga is effective at boosting positive thinking in women with some degree of mental struggle within a three-month period. As such, it’s safe to say that yoga reduces stress, and stress levels can affect a variety of mood disorders. The fact that it also strengthens you and boosts your flexibility is a much-appreciated bonus!

5. Burpees

Burpees sound a little intimidating. After all, these exercises are high-intensity moves that focus on the cardiovascular system. But these types of moves are crucial when you’re over the age of 40, as they help keep the heart healthy and keep your metabolism up. This prevents weight gain, and it also lowers disease risk – both through cardiovascular strengthening and positive weight management.

That’s why it’s recommended that you do at least 30 minutes of high-intensity workouts between three and four times weekly, getting your heart up to 80% of its max rate. Burpees are a great way to do that! Here’s how to perform them correctly.

Squat over the floor, or bend down, and rest your palms flat on the floor in front of you. Have them placed just slightly farther apart than your feet.
Jump backwards onto your feet, moving into a plank position.
Move downwards into a push-up like position, but have your chest touch the floor. If you are new to strength training and struggling with the weight, you can also drop to your knees instead of a plank position.
Push back up into your previous position – whether a standard plank or a knee plank.
Jump back inwards with your feet towards your hands, so you are close to your original starting position.
Jump upwards into the air in an explosive fashion, with your arms stretched up high overhead.

Final Thoughts On Some Exercises Women Over 40 Should Never Ignore

Exercise is crucial to bodily health, so it makes sense that there are kinds you can use to help your aging process go more smoothly. Remember, it’s always a good idea to check with a doctor before beginning a new exercise routine – especially if you have a pre-existing health condition.

Most importantly, don’t overwork yourself! These exercises can be tricky at first, but take it slow and work your way up to avoid injury. With time, dedication, patience, and positive thinking, you’ll soon notice amazing improvements all over your body.

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