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Experts Reveal 8 Ways To Put Boredom to Work For You

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Boredom can be frustrating and inconvenient, and most people would prefer never to have to deal with such an emotion. But did you know that you can turn boredom into more impressive results if you know how to use it to your advantage?

That’s right – boredom can be a good thing! All you have to do is learn to take hold of it and manipulate it to suit your needs. Here is how scientific research makes experts reveal eight ways to make boredom work for you.

1.    Think Of Projects To Fill Your Time With

Boredom often means you have time to spare, and what better way to use that time than by filling it with a new project or two?

This spare time is precisely why the University of Central Lancashire’s Dr. Sandi Mann thinks being bored can be a positive thing. He explains that he thinks up many great ideas during the would-be dead time of his morning commute. This prevents the boredom from sinking in too harshly while keeping him productive!

So think about your life and your talents. What kind of projects can you embark on? Think about them and their details during short moments of boredom. The act of daydreaming has vast positive effects on overall creativity, so your boredom can make you more creative!

2.    Recognize the Importance of Boredom

boredomBoredom isn’t without value. It’s the brain’s chance to take a day off and rest. People often underestimate what happens when you’re mentally exhausted. Too much strain on your mental frame of mind, and you could wind up burned out, unable to be productive, and lacking positive thinking.

Boredom forces you to stop and rest, and that’s pretty important in the grand scheme of things, so don’t take it for granted. Make sure you understand why boredom is, sometimes, necessary.

3.    Take An Interest In Boredom

Boredom is, on the surface, the very definition of something that’s not interesting. But you can choose to take an interest in that boredom. That’s something that Harvard Medical School psychologist and Harvard Special Health Report Positive Psychology medical editor Dr. Ronald Siegel wholeheartedly recommends.

The goal is to think about the exact emotions you are experiencing at the point of boredom. What lies beneath the surface? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Are you experiencing negative emotions besides boredom?
  • What is causing those negative emotions?
  • How can you overcome those negative emotions?
  • Is the boredom fed by the negativity or the other way around?
  • What can you do to prevent this occurrence in the future?

4.    Learn Something New

The brain is a mysterious thing. It’s always craving a little something new to learn. The problem is that once we get to a certain age, learning new things becomes less and less common.

But in the digital age of the Internet, there isn’t any excuse for not leaping on unlimited information access to fill your free time. This is probably why business writer Janet Choi at the career development site. The Muse is a big proponent of learning new subjects with online resources.

Here are some ideas for learning new things:

  • Take a class on an exciting subject.
  • Watch online videos about different topics.
  • Take an online course.
  • Tag along with friends or family to one of their activities
  • Go somewhere you’ve never been before
  • Try to discover a hidden talent.
  • Take the next step in furthering your hobby or an already present skill.

Aside from just beating boredom, there are plenty of benefits to continuing to learn new things regularly. You’re picking up usable skills for the future. You’re boosting your cognitive ability. And, of course, you have more productive ways to occupy your time!

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5.    Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves practices that make you more aware of the space and time you currently inhabit. Those who have seen mindfulness meditation may be unsure as to how that act can help alleviate boredom. The answer is this: mindfulness needs you to stay “present” in the current moment, and this can help activate your dulled senses.

This is also a great way to embrace boredom. Instead of desperately trying to figure out how to keep yourself occupied, you’re choosing to sit still and be at peace with not having anything to do. On top of that, given the many benefits that mindfulness has been found to have for mental health and positive thinking, you’re also doing yourself a service.

The reasoning behind mindfulness as a practice to combat boredom is this. It moves you from the process of thinking to the process of merely feeling and experiencing, so your mind focuses on itself rather than on the perceived lack of stimulation. Here’s a good mindfulness practice to combat boredom:

·         Step 1: Sight

Start by taking an object in your hands that is very familiar to you. Look at it carefully and pretend that you’ve never, ever seen it in your life. This will involve slowly pushing away the honest thoughts associated with this item and start anew. Turn it around and peruse it. Is there something about it you’ve never noticed before? Or does it, without an accompanying memory, become relatively meaningless?

·         Step 2: Touch

Now, repeat what you did in step 1, but with another familiar object. Instead of observing it visually, now what you’ll want to do is pretend you’ve never touched this item before. Please pay close attention to its texture, its ridges or curves or lines, and how interaction with it feels.

·         Step 3: Other Senses

You’ve got the gist now – it’s time to do the same thing for other senses. Look for familiar items in your environment, like the sound of the fan whirring, the taste of your favorite candy, or the scent of your perfume. Approach them as if you’ve never seen them before and discover them in new ways!

·         Step 4: Application

Once you’ve gotten the hang of this sort of mindfulness, start applying it to your everyday life. If you’re struck by boredom, remove your memories of your current event from their influence over you. Treat everything like a new experience. How are you engaging with this brand new world? It’s a great way to bust boredom.

6.    Do Something Quick Or Small

Sometimes, boredom is caused by doing the same thing for too long a period. In order to remedy this, you need a break from the norms of your current work. Here are some ways to get this break:

·         Do Something Quick

Stuck with a long task that you’re bored with? Please put it on pause for a short time and do something that can be completed quickly and efficiently. This way, you’re managing to help relieve boredom by doing something that is still productive!

·         Go For A Walk

Stand up, stretch, and walk around for five to ten minutes. This can kick your brain into gear and give you the change of scenery your mind is demanding. It’s also an excellent way to remain active, even at sedentary jobs.

·         Do A Small Bit Of Work

Muscle through your current task that you’re bored with by setting yourself a very tiny goal. The motivation provided by a plan that may have a reward if you choose can be all your brain needs to force you through a hurdle. Once you’ve gotten that little bit done, you’ve earned a change of scene for a little while.

7.    Think About What It Says About You

For years, people have made jokes about boredom, claiming that only people who are boring can experience boredom. York University’s Boredom Lab director, John Eastwood, has debunked this thought again and again. He is a firm believer, in fact, in the idea of boredom having a deeper meaning, and his research has found truth in that.

Eastwood states that it’s actually a “crisis” of sorts that is trying to make you reflect on yourself and the way you engage with the world around you. As such, when you’re bored, you should be looking inwards and seeking more profound meaning. To better understand this concept, here’s what Eastwood found in his research.

  • There are two distinct personality types that experience boredom.
  • The first personality kind is impulsive individuals who crave new experiences; they need to seek ways to occupy themselves.
  • The second personality kind is anxious individuals who do not ever want to leave their comfort zone, instead of withdrawing to what they know out of fear and pain sensitivity.

If you suffer from severe boredom, the chances are that you’re one of these two personality types. As such, your first step in looking inward is determining which of these types you are. Once you know, you’ll be able to figure out how to overcome it very quickly. If you’re the first type, you will look for better ways to expand your horizons. If you’re the second, you will work on improving your anxiety symptoms so you can step out into the world.

8.    Practice Self-Reflection

This advice ties in closely with the previous point. Use your spare time to reflect. Choi states that even spending just a small amount of time performing self-reflection can vastly improve how well you know yourself. This self-reflection can:

  • Show you where your potential can be maximized
  • Make you realize areas that need improvement
  • Give you an idea that kickstarts your motivation
  • Allow you some time to rest from current projects and take a step back to see the bigger picture
  • Make you ponder how you’ve been spending your time and if it has been productive

So the next time you feel bored, stop, and look inward. Reflect on your life so far. You can even write this musing down in a journal if you want to! Whatever way you choose to do this task, you can be sure that you’ll come away from your moment of free time with positive knowledge that you can put to use.

boredomFinal Thoughts On Learning Some Ways To Make Boredom Work For You

The next time you feel bored, take a deep breath, and try one of these eight ways to make boredom work for you. Instead of trying to chase away the boredom, use it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and do better. Who knows? That boredom might even be what sparks your next great project!

Psychology Reveals How Self-Reflection May Boost Your Social IQ

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You’ve probably heard of IQ before – the measure of the intelligence you’re born with. However, people also have a social IQ, which is something you learn or develop throughout life. Having a high social IQ can help you navigate through life easily.

If you’ve ever wondered how you can increase your social IQ, you’re not alone. The good news is that research shows it could be as easy as doing a little self-reflection. Since social IQ is mostly learned, knowing yourself better could be the key to increasing it.

What is Social IQ?

Social intelligence is how you interact with the world. A more rudimentary description is to call it street smarts or even common sense. It encompasses building relationships and navigating social environments. It’s people skills.

Social intelligence is a learned skill. It’s affected by what you’re exposed to in life paired with characteristics of your personality. Your home life, religion, morals, values, friends, school, and more can all shape your social IQ.

Signs of Social Intelligencesocial iq

  • A Great ListenerA person with a high social IQ knows that listening is just as important as talking. They’re able to make a connection with people and make people feel understood. Even in a debate, a person with social intelligence can hear the other person’s side of the issue without dismissing their concerns.
  • Excellent ConversationalistPeople enjoy listening to someone who has a high level of social intelligence. People with high social IQ’s can strike up conversations with anyone. When they’re in a conversation, they’re completely comfortable and possibly even humorous. More importantly, their conversations carry meaning, are organized, and are memorable to whomever they’re speaking with.
  • Considerate of Their ReputationIn this world, reputation is everything, and people with a high social IQ are very aware of this fact. This elicits actions and communication that is attractive to the masses. They are careful not to do anything taboo, or that would sully their reputation. More importantly, they do this by always encouraging positive interactions with the people they meet.
  • CharismaticA person with a high social IQ can often be identified as the social butterfly in the room, making people smile and laugh while still getting business accomplished. It may seem as if these people never meet a stranger. The charisma comes from combining the first three signs. Someone adept at listening, talking, and making a good impression will inevitably be charismatic.

Why Social Intelligence is Important

Even if you’re an introvert who enjoys keeping to yourself, you’ll still interact with people. No one goes through this life alone. You’ll have to interact with bill collectors, people at work, family members, friends, and even pets. Social IQ will help you effectively navigate those relationships and the situations that arise from them.

The most important skill that arises from a high social IQ is communication. It’s is imperative that you’re able to communicate effectively in life. Everything you do requires communication, whether it’s verbal, non-verbal, visual, or written. Your level of communication can directly impact your quality of life.

Having a good level of social intelligence makes you a better person. You’ll be able to understand people better, respond to people better, tolerate cultural differences, and be more patient with people. You’ll be able to get along with others well, which is the key to excelling in life.

Self-Reflection: A Key Component of Building Your Social IQ

Self-reflecting is when you seriously think about character, actions, values, motives, and goals. You could do it through meditation, which is popular, or you could sit somewhere quietly and think. In other words, it’s purposefully thinking about yourself as a subject of study.

Therapist and author Paul Coleman, Ph.D., says, “I think people who self-evaluate do so because they know they do not have all the answers, they are imperfect, and they know that their circumstances eventually change.” Many people use self-reflecting to think about decisions they’ve made in the past and how it affected their lives. If they’re receptive to their thoughts, they’ll use this reflection to become a better person.

However, the best use of self-reflection is using it in the moment or in real-time to make better decisions. This is the ultimate goal that people should strive to achieve. Imagine if you could learn to self-reflect at the moment of an impactful decision and make the right decision every time. It would be empowering to be able to do that.

Self-reflecting is a skill that takes practice. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. You must remember to be honest with yourself. No one is going to hear your inner thoughts, so, even if it hurts, tell yourself the truth to reap the maximum benefits from self-reflection.

Once you become good at it, you can use this skill to build your social IQ. You can self-reflect at the moment to understand your social interactions and how they’re affecting others. Then you can adjust your responses immediately if needed.

meditateHow to Self-Reflect

There is no perfect way to self-reflect. However, certain guiding principles can help you become more effective at it. Psychologists have been studying the art of self-reflection almost since it became a “thing” and have found certain methods and environments that help the process. Here are a few suggestions on how to begin and become better at self-reflecting.

Isolate Yourself

Susan L. Taylor said it best when she said, “We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly – spending quiet time alone allows your mind to renew itself and create order.” As the founder & CEO of the National CARES Mentoring Movement & Editor-in-Chief Emeritus of Essence Magazine, it’s no surprise that she is frequently in search of quiet time for self-reflecting. It’s imperative that you self-reflect in a peaceful, quiet place that is free of distractions. This will allow your mind the freedom to roam to those far-reaching corners of your thoughts without limitations or judgment.

Ask Yourself Questions

It helps if you organize your self-reflecting time. You can do this by having a set of targeted questions that you ask yourself. To ask yourself the right questions, you need a focus on your self-reflecting. Are you self-reflecting on your career choices? Your family interactions? Perhaps, you’re self-reflecting on how you treat your friends. Whatever the purpose of your self-reflection, create a set of questions around it.

For example, if you’re self-reflecting on your career performance, here are some examples of questions you could ask yourself for introspection:

  1. Do I use my time wisely?
  2. Am I waking up in the right state of mind to tackle my day?
  3. Are my goals realistic?
  4. Am I taking care of myself physically?
  5. Do I genuinely care about my team?

By asking yourself relevant questions, you can get the most out of your self-reflecting session. You’ll be able to identify better your strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for improvement.

Be Open with Yourself and Don’t Restrict Your Emotions.

This is the time to let it all come out. Clear your mind, go on a nature walk, read a book, or do whatever you need to do to calm your spirit. Then, when you ask yourself the questions you’ve prepared, don’t block any of your thoughts or feelings.

If you need to cry, do it. If you feel like laughing maniacally, go for it. Perhaps you need to look in the mirror so you can face yourself eye to eye. All or any of this is fine, as long as you are completely honest with yourself.

It can be scary to be this open with yourself at first. However, it becomes easy with practice, so you should schedule a time to self-reflect as often as you can.

social iqFinal Thoughts on Boosting Your Social IQ With Self-Reflection

After reading this information, it should be obvious that people with high social IQ are very aware of themselves and what they offer to the world. Social intelligence may be defined as how you interact with the world, but its heart is how you interact. Without reflecting on yourself, you may not be aware of how you interact.

That is precisely how reflecting on yourself can build your social IQ. You’ll begin to see patterns and behaviors that you may or may not like. You can then change the ones that hinder you from being the person you want to be.

Self-reflection is a tool that, when used properly, can enrich your life. As Nobel Prize Nominee Bryant McGill says, “People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind-spot.” If you make self-reflection a regular part of your life, your social IQ will rise, and you’ll open your eyes to possibilities you never knew existed.

Scientists Unveil Cutting-edge Exosuit To Aid in Stroke Rehabilitation

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After suffering from a stroke, many patients get transferred to a stroke rehabilitation center or nursing home. These units have specific equipment and therapies that allow patients to make a partial or full recovery. According to the National Institute of Health physicians, the rehabilitation required after a stroke varies depending upon the nature and severity. It takes some patients weeks or months to recover, but for others, it may take years of therapy and cause life-long disability.

Usually, stroke victims will undergo the following types of therapies in rehab:

  • Speech therapy – many people who suffer a stroke have difficulty speaking or understanding language afterward. A speech therapist will work with you on relearning how to communicate clearly and coherently after a stroke.
  • Physical therapy – incorporates exercises and stretching into your routine to help you regain movement and coordination.
  • Occupational therapy – helps you relearn to perform daily activities, such as dressing, eating, bathing, and reading.

Here are some statistics about the prevelance of strokes in the USA

Stroke statistics (from the CDC)

In 2018, stroke accounted for 1 in every six deaths from cardiovascular disease.

  • Someone in the United States suffers a stroke roughly every 40 seconds. Every 4 minutes, someone dies of a stroke.
  • Annually, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke. About 610,000 of these are first time strokes.
  • About 185,000 strokes—nearly 1 in 4—occur in people who have had a previous stroke.
  • Approximately 87% of all strokes are ischemic strokes, where blood flow to the brain becomes blocked.
  • The cost of treating strokes in the US was around $46 billion between 2014 and 2015. This figure includes the costs of various health care services, medicines for treating stroke, and missed days of work.
  • Strokes are the leading cause of severe long-term disabilities worldwide. Stroke reduces mobility in over half of stroke survivors aged 65 and over.
  • Having a stroke is the fifth-leading cause of death for Americans.

stroke rehabilitationSigns and symptoms of stroke

At the first sign of a stroke, one may suddenly feel any combination of one or more of the following:

  • Numbness, droopiness, or weakness in the face, arms, or legs–especially on one side of the body.
  • Feelings of confusion, difficulty with speaking, or slurred or hard-to-understand speech.
  • Impaired vision or not seeing well out of one or both eyes.
  • Difficulty walking, dizziness, loss of balance, or lack of coordination.
  • Severe headache with no known cause.

If you believe that someone is having a stroke, follow the FAST guidelines to perform a simple test. This knowledge works best within three hours of noticing symptoms so they can get to the hospital in time.

  • F—Face: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop, or is the person’s smile lopsided?
  • A—Arms: Ask the person to raise both of their arms. Does one arm drift or droop downward, or is one arm weak or numb?
  • S—Speech: Ask the person to repeat one simple phrase. Is the speech slurry or hard to understand?
  • T—Time: If you see any of these first signs, even if they go away after a short time, call 911 immediately.

Risk factors for stroke

  • High blood pressure
  • High cholesterol
  • Smoking
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes

These are the leading causes of stroke in the US, and 1 in 3 Americans has at least one (or any random combination) of these conditions or habits. Other risk factors include heavy alcohol consumption, physical inactivity, and an unhealthy diet. Other conditions that raise your risk include previous stroke, heart disease, and sickle cell disease.

For those who have suffered a stroke, they will typically undergo physical therapy to get them back to work and everyday life. To aid in stroke rehabilitation, scientists have constructed a robotic exosuit to help patients with mobility problems.

ischemic stroke

Never ignore these nine warning signs of an ischemic stroke.

The cutting edge robotic exosuit that will aid in stroke rehabilitation:

A team of US researchers recently performed a multi-center, single-arm trial of a robotic exosuit for stroke rehabilitation called ReWalk ReStore™. This suit provides gait training in individuals recovering from a stroke who have mobility issues. Supervised by physical therapists, they tested it during treadmill and overground walking and found the device safe and reliable. The study originally published in the Journal of NeuroEngineering and Rehabilitation on June 18, 2020.

Scientists involved in the study include:

  • Louis N. Awad, PT, DPT, Ph.D., of Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital, Boston, MA,
  • Alberto Esquenazi, MD, of MossRehab Stroke and Neurological Disease Center, Elkins Park, PA,
  • Gerard E. Francisco, MD, of TIRR Memorial Hermann, Houston, TX,
  • Karen J, Nolan, Ph.D., of Kessler Foundation, West Orange, NJ,
  • and lead investigator Arun Jayaramam, PT, Ph.D., of the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab, Chicago, IL

The first soft robotic exosuit approved by the FDA for stroke rehabilitation, the ReStore™, aids those with mobility deficits. Specifically, the device is designed for survivors with a condition called hemiplegia under the supervision of licensed physical therapists. Hemiplegia causes weakness in the ankles, which makes walking and climbing steps nearly impossible. Patients who suffer from this must compensate by having abnormal walking patterns, which decrease stability.

ReStore augments ankle plantarflexion and dorsiflexion, which helps with gait training and stability. Motors mounted on a waist belt send power through cables to attachment fixtures on an insole and the patient’s calf. They next clipped sensors to the patient’s shoes to transmit data to a handheld smartphone controller manned by a trained therapist. He or she adjusts levels of assistance and records data from the gait training.

The study

The exosuit trial involved 44 participants with post-stroke hemiparesis who could walk unassisted for 5 feet. They had to undergo five days of 20-minute sessions of treadmill and ground training while being supervised by physical therapists.

To analyze the therapeutic potential for ReStore in stroke rehabilitation, the researchers also noted how the device affected maximum walking speed. The researchers asked participants to walk 10 meters in and out of the device to assess their walking speed. Some participants had the use of a cane during the tests because of safety considerations. The trial found the exosuit to be safe, reliable, and feasible in stroke rehabilitation.

“We found that the ReStore provided targeted assistance for plantar flexion and dorsiflexion of the paretic ankle, improving the gait pattern,” said Dr. Nolan, a senior research scientist in the Center for Mobility and Rehabilitation Engineering Research at Kessler Foundation. “This is an important first step toward expanding options for rehabilitative care for the millions of individuals with mobility impairments caused by ischemic and hemorrhagic stroke.”

The initial trial found that training using the exosuit resulted in faster walking speeds after the therapy in this stroke population. More than one-third of the participants saw a dramatic increase in unassisted walking speeds. Thus, scientists will do further research on the positive effects of the exosuit training in the future.

While this breakthrough in stroke rehabilitation shows promise for the future, strokes still can cause lifelong disability. If you have some of the risk factors for stroke, make sure to follow these guidelines to help prevent them.

Preventing stroke

  • Eat a healthy diet. You can lower your personal risk of having a stroke by eating a diet high in fiber, including fruits, veggies, grains, nuts, and seeds. Avoid or limit foods high in saturated and trans fats and cholesterol, causing high cholesterol. Eat foods low in salt to lower blood pressure as well. High blood pressure and, or course, high cholesterol are the two leading causes of stroke.
  • Maintain a healthy weight. This target number will vary depending on your height, age, and bone structure. In general, you want to keep body fat in a healthy range and have the right muscle to fat ratio.
  • Physical activity does not only keeps your body healthy, but it also promotes mental wellness too. Stress can cause high blood pressure and has been linked to heart attacks and strokes. Therefore, you should aim for around 2.5 to 3 hours of intense aerobic activity per week. Make sure to add resistance training into your regimen as well to build muscle and lower fat.
  • Avoid smoking. Smoking cigarettes significantly increases your chance of having a stroke.
  • Limit alcohol consumption. Alcohol raises blood pressure, which increases your risk of stroke. Men should have a maximum of two alcoholic drinks a day and women no more than one.

stroke rehabilitationFinal thoughts on the cutting-edge exosuit to help with stroke rehabilitation

Scientists continue to unveil new and exciting methods and therapies to heal from conditions such as stroke. The robotic exosuit called ReWalk ReStore could potentially help thousands of people recover after having a stroke. For now, it’s only been tested on patients suffering from hemiplegia, which causes weakness in the ankles. However, who knows how it might be utilized in the future for stroke recovery.

Suffering from a stroke is the fifth leading cause of death for Americans. While many people make a full recovery, it’s also the leading cause of serious long-term disability worldwide. The CDC says that up to 80% of strokes are preventable with healthy lifestyle habits and management of pre-existing conditions. Make sure to eat plenty of fruits and veggies, exercise, keep stress low, and avoid smoking and overconsumption of alcohol.

Psychologists Debunk 7 Widely Believed Sleep Myths

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Sleep is an essential bodily function. It helps you recover after a long day of work, and it keeps you on schedule and alert during your day. It also allows you to rest and recuperate. Without it, the human body would be unable to function. Think about it – how well do you perform when you’re sleepy? Bad sleep has been documented as displaying numerous negative results for decades. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation floating around the world that either ignores or over-emphasizes these findings, and you need to be aware of them. Here’s how psychologists debunk seven widely believed sleep myths.

1.    You Can Sleep Anytime And Gain The Same Effects

A lot of people think that sleep is simply a quota of hours they have to fill. You might not realize that there’s more to it than that. This is simply a harmful sleep myth.

Rebecca Robbins, Ph.D., a sleep researcher and postdoctoral fellow at Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women’s Hospital, published an extensive paper documenting how these myths are commonplace but harmful. Her studies, published in many peer-reviewed journals and cited during her interviews on TV and publications, reveal that sleeping at odd hours does much more harm than good.

sleep mythsWhy does this happen? The answer lies in the body’s internal clock, which follows something known as the circadian rhythm. Human bodies are naturally designed to follow the rising and setting of the sun. The body jolts you awake when it sees sunlight and produces the sleep hormone melatonin when light is absent.

This means that sleeping at odd hours, such as maintaining a nocturnal schedule, can lead to circadian desynchronization. This issue causes the body to struggle to sleep with the same quality and quantity as nighttime sleep provides. But even small changes in the exact time of night you sleep can cause a similar effect – your body never gets into the perfect circadian rhythm for your lifestyle, bouncing around every day depending on when you choose to sleep.

Of course, some sleep in the day is better than no rest at all. But if you can help it, try to keep a regular sleep schedule, waking up in the morning and sleeping at night.

2.    You Only Need Four or Five Hours Of Sleep

Technically, you probably “know” that the recommended amount of sleep per night is more than just five hours. But you might also think that you feel fine after less sleep than required, so you don’t need that much sleep.

Health psychologist Nancy L. Sin, who has published research that debunks this myth, makes it clear that at least seven hours of sleep are needed nightly to guarantee positive function the next day. Her studies show that a lack of sleep can have harmful effects on:

  • Cardiovascular system
  • Chronic illness
  • Immunology
  • Longevity
  • Mental health
  • Metabolism
  • Mood and positive thinking

A lack of sleep causes you to have more trouble managing stress, which means you enjoy your daily life much less and have more difficulty concentrating and completing tasks.

Some people believe that you can “train” yourself to do well on very little sleep, but there’s no evidence to support this theory. There’s so much evidence to the contrary that it’s almost safe to assume this idea of sleep-training is entirely false.

There’s a small caveat here: some little evidence exists that suggests short and long sleep phenotypes in certain people, meaning some will do fine without seven hours of sleep. But this phenotype is extremely rare, and it’s much safer to make sure you’re getting seven hours of rest nightly!

3.    Stay In Bed, Even When You Can’t Sleep

This is one of those sleep myths that people rarely consider. A vast number of people believe that, if they find themselves tossing and turning, they should force themselves to stay in bed. But, according to the National Sleep Foundation’s advice, getting out of bed is more likely to have a positive outcome.

This is because lying awake in your bed for prolonged periods can associate the bed with wakefulness. The mental connection that you may create here from this link can lead to it being even more challenging for you to fall asleep in this environment in the future.

So what should you do instead? After 20 minutes of trying and failing to fall asleep, the National Sleep Foundation recommends leaving your bed and doing relaxing activities for a short period, such as:

  • Listening to soft music
  • Reading
  • Meditating
  • Simply sitting or lying down elsewhere.

relationship4.    If You Can Remember Your Dreams, It Means You Slept Well

This myth can easily be disproved with this simple fact: most people experience multiple dreams per night, between four and five of them. Department of Population Health professor and researcher Girardin Jean-Louis states that we don’t remember most of them because our sleep isn’t disrupted. Thus, the dreams fade away without waking us up.

Studies have found that those who remember their dreams vividly:

  • Wake up twice as much at night
  • Are much more sensitive to sounds when awake and asleep
  • Experience more brain activity in the part of their brains that processes information

This indicates that remembering dreams means that you’re experiencing lower quality sleep. Yikes!

Do note that it is possible to remember dreams later in the day, not right after you wake up and that this usually doesn’t have any bearing on your sleep quality. Incredibly emotional dreams, for example, may suddenly be recalled when you’re relaxing during your day or if something triggers it. Apart from that, though, mundane dreams are rarely remembered.

5.    It’s Possible To Sufficiently Catch Up On Sleep

It’s easy to think that you can sacrifice some sleep during the weekdays and sleep in on weekends to make up for it. Unfortunately, rest isn’t a debt that you can just pay off. There’s no real way to “catch up” on a lack of sleep, mostly if that lack of sleep happens multiple days in a row.

Studies indicate that although sleeping in might help you be more awake than usual, it doesn’t help with your performance in everyday tasks or work. As a matter of fact, when you try to catch up on a lot of sleep loss with extra hours spent napping, you’re doing more damage to your ability to function than if you had pulled an all-nighter.

6.    Turkey, Milk, and Cheese Help Sleep – Or Give You Nightmares

This rather odd myth isn’t accurate in the slightest. It’s based on the concept of tryptophan inducing sleep. Tryptophan is an amino acid that is used in the production of serotonin. In turn, serotonin is needed to produce melatonin. That’s where this myth comes from, but the connection isn’t really significant.

Studies have been conducted to attempt to find links between tryptophan and sleep, but not only is the effect not overwhelming even in high amounts, but no foods have that much of the amino acid in them anyway. Ultimately, the component has no effect on sleep, mood, positive thinking, or cognitive ability.

What about the myth that cheese gives you nightmares? Well, that one’s not true, either – and there’s no telling where that myth rose from! Still, it’s worth following the advice of not eating cheese, or anything else, before bed, says Harvard Men’s Health Watch, Former Editor in Chief Dr. William Kormos. This advice is because:

  • Consuming high-carbohydrate meals before dinner may cause night sweats due to the way the body digests carbs.
  • Eating large amounts of food before bedtime can lead to indigestion.
  • Eating a meal before lying down in bed can cause heartburn.
  • An active gut trying to digest your last meal will keep you awake for longer or wake you up during the night.
  • Stomach discomfort while sleeping can reduce sleep quality significantly

7.    Drinking Alcohol Before Bed Helps You Rest Easier (maybe the most common of our sleep myths)

If you’re in the habit of drinking nightcaps, you likely know you get sleepy after some alcohol. Unfortunately, that sleepiness will eventually backfire. To better understand that, you need to understand how alcohol is absorbed and used in the body.

  • 1: Alcohol relaxes you and causes a sedating feeling as it depresses the central nervous system.
  • 2: The alcohol rebounds, resulting in a jolt to the central nervous system, filling you with more adrenaline.
  • 3: The adrenaline boost, typically happening while you’re asleep, causes your REM sleep, or deep sleep, to be interrupted; it may even completely wake you up!
  • 4: The lack of deep sleep means you don’t get restorative sleep, so you’re more tired the next day.

It’s OK to drink a glass of something alcoholic every day, provided your doctor gives you the all-clear. But try to stop consuming alcohol within several hours of your bedtime, or you risk harming your rest for the night! The National Sleep Foundation, and multiple studies, certainly agree!

sleep mythsFinal Thoughts On Debunking Some Widely Believed Sleep Myths

In our day and age, access to information is astronomical. It’s easy to get caught up in the sheer volume of data that is just at your fingertips, but then you may forget that not all of that date is accurate. Myths about health and wellness have been around since even before the advent of the internet,

Additional problems then arise when you believe incorrect information and follow it. It’s fine when it’s over something mundane and unimportant, but some of this insufficient data pertain to health and wellness. Given how difficult it can be the maintain the body’s balance of good health and efficiency, just believing a couple of wrong tidbits of info can have noticeable unwanted consequences.

This is why staying aware of what is real and what isn’t is so important. It’s crucial to recognize when a piece of information is accurate and when it’s just a myth, even more so when it relates to your health. And when it comes to sleep, you can’t afford to trust the wrong information!

So the next time someone has a fact to share about sleep, do yourself a favor, ask for their evidence, or look it up yourself. Don’t believe and follow everything you hear! If you have questions or concerns regarding these sleep myths, talk to your doctor.

Psychology Explains 12 Causes and Signs of Secondhand Stress

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The company you keep not only affects your reputation, but it can affect your emotions. Think about a time when you’ve been around friends, family, or co-workers who were an emotional mess. You likely left the situation feeling a little messy yourself. That’s the insidious nature of secondhand stress.

People are contagious, and we don’t mean illnesses. Secondhand stress is real, and psychologists warn about the dangers of subjecting yourself to it. However, you may not even realize you’re dealing with this extra stress.

Here are 12 causes and signs that, according to psychologists, show you’re dealing with secondhand stress.

What is Secondhand Stress?

It is a phenomenon where your emotions and feelings begin to mimic the emotions and feelings of people around you. You may not realize it, but people’s emotions can inadvertently seep into your aura and pierce your mood before you even realize what hit you. People’s emotions can be as contagious as a cold.

Causes of Secondhand Stress

secondhand stressThe cause of this stress is simple – people! More specifically, it’s people that are constantly bombarding you with their emotions. You may be the person they come to when they’re feeling sad, angry, or depressed.

When people place their emotions on you, it’s usually an innocent exchange. They may be your best friend, child, spouse, or favorite co-workers. Unless they’re an emotional vampire, they don’t mean to infect you with their stress.

Unfortunately, it will still happen.

How to Avoid Secondhand Stress

It seems the simple solution is to avoid other people’s stress. Unfortunately, you can’t. There is no way to escape secondhand stress. According to Shawn Achor, a lecturer, and researcher, and the author of The Happiness Advantage, we are so interconnected these days that you can even pick up people’s stress through a cell phone.

While you may not be able to avoid secondhand stress, there are some ways to cope with it better or not to let it affect you so severely. To do that, you need to identify the causes and signs that let you know you’re being involved. The next section has 12 signs to watch out for.

12 Causes and Signs of Secondhand Stress

Be aware of these red flags that could reveal you struggle with this condition.

1. You don’t know why you’re stressed; you just are.

If you’re stressed out for no apparent reason, it could be that someone else’s stress is transferring over to you. It can be challenging or almost impossible to deal with someone else’s stressors on top of your own. If you’re stress-free in your life (congratulations!), keep it that way by not letting someone else’s stress get to you.

2. You continually see the glass as half empty.

If you’re usually a happy, positive person, but you’re suddenly pessimistic about everything, you might be wallowing in other people’s stress. Stress can quickly drown out your positive vibes.

It may even take someone else pointing out to you how negative you’ve become because it may be hard for you to recognize on your own. Letting go of the secondhand stress will get you back to your positive, cheery self in no time.

3. You get constant notifications on your devices.

These days, it’s rare to come across someone who doesn’t have a smart device. They keep you connected and organized, but when you’re continually getting notifications, you’re constantly looking at your phone.

In a survey done by the American Psychological Association (APA), it was found that people who were constantly checking their smartphones, called constant checkers, were a lot more stressed than people who don’t. According to Lynn Bufka, Ph.D., APA’s associate executive director, being a constant checker can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health.

4. You’re always in a rush.

Stress can make you nervous and anxious, and you may be in a rush to do things all the time because your mind is moving a million miles per hour. When you recognize that this is happening, you must slow down and pinpoint where that stress is coming from. There is a good chance that it’s someone else’s stress that’s putting your mind into overdrive.

stress symptoms

Know these ten surprising stress symptoms that nobody discusses.

5. You’re always tired.

It takes a lot of energy to deal with stress, and your body may be redirecting all of it to coping with stressful situations. Another reason you may be tired is coping with the stressed-out person, to begin with. It also takes a lot of energy to deal with a frazzled, anxious person. That person may be an emotional vampire who is sucking away all of your energy, leaving you feeling drained.

6. You have trouble concentrating.

It’s no surprise that you would have trouble concentrating if you’re always tired. Stress zaps your energy, and it also impairs cognitive functioning on a chemical level. Your brain can’t focus, and your concentration takes a hit. You may find yourself needing caffeine or supplements to focus, but these are only temporary fixes. The real solution is to shed other people’s stress.

7. Your productivity/creativity is taking a hit.

Stress can stifle your productivity and creativity. Your mind might be moving at the speed of light, but it’s wandering aimlessly, and your body can’t keep up. The lack of focus and lack of energy will leave you unable to think like you usually do. If this happens in the workplace, you could be putting your job in jeopardy, so it’s crucial to shed other people’s stress immediately.

8. You’re always around stressed people.

You don’t have to feel it. If you’re always around stressed people, you can bet that you’re stressed also. As stated before, stress is contagious, so if you’re in a room full of contagious people, you’re catching the vibe.

In some cases, you may not be able to get away from these people. Your job can be one of the most significant stressors, but you still have to go to it. In this case, you need to find ways to block the stress or cope with it.

9. You’re gaining weight.

If you usually eat healthily, exercise regularly, and lead a mostly healthy lifestyle, it can be confusing when you’re gaining weight and seeing extra inches around your midsection. However, stress causes an increase in a hormone called cortisol.

Cortisol is known to make you store fat around your midsection. Therefore, stress can make you gain weight and go up a dress size. If you don’t get it under control, you may go up several dress sizes.

10. You have random crying spells.

When you’re stressed out, your emotions may be all over the place. This is especially true for women because stress can affect hormone balance in the body (as mentioned with cortisol in the previous section). You may be sad and crying one minute, and the next minute you won’t even know why you were unhappy. You’re not crazy, you’re likely just sharing in other people’s stress too much.

11. Your child/children are anxious or stressed.

Children go through a lot of hormonal changes as they grow up. These changes can cause them to be stressed out. This is especially true for teenagers. Studies show that the rate of chronic stress among teens is increasing.

Chronic stress can change your family dynamics. It’s already hard enough to deal with regular teenage drama, but dealing with a chronically stressed teenager can push your family dynamics to the limit.

12. You feel bad, and you don’t know why.

With all these things above happening to you from secondhand stress, it’s no surprise that you’re just going to feel bad mentally, physically, and emotionally. You may find yourself trying to be happy, and it’s just not working. If you’re feeling this way, the first thing you need to do is get away from secondhand stress. You may need to seek therapy or go on a vacation – whatever it takes to reduce those secondhand stressors and bring your inner peace back.

secondhand stressFinal Thoughts About Secondhand Stress

Stress is all around you, and there is nothing you can do about that. It seems like a bleak revelation, but it doesn’t mean that things are hopeless. You can’t control other people’s stress, but you can control how it affects you.

There are ways to cope with secondhand stress. A few of them include:

  • Identify the source and see if you can help.
  • Take breaks away from stressed-out people.
  • Have a bigger pool of positive people than stressed people.
  • Keep your health up to par.
  • Change your response to stress.
  • Arm yourself with positivity in the mornings before you start your day.
  • Learn to let things roll off you instead of eating them up.

With practice and patience, you can learn to manage the secondhand stress in your life. In fact, you may get so good at it that you help others manage their stress so that no one is dealing with the fallout of being chronically stressed. If you can achieve this feat, you’ll find that you and everyone around you become so much better.

Relationship Experts Explain the Five Love Languages to Every Couple

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Did you know you have a love language? Your love language is what is meaningful to you to feel appreciated by your significant other. Everyone shows and receives love differently. In his well-known book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts, author, Dr. Gary Chapman, explains the 5 different love languages and how you can understand how to love other people.

Communicating affection–both giving and receiving

We all communicate our love differently.  It’s easy to assume the way we show love to others is as meaningful to them as it is to us. But many relationships go south due to a misunderstanding of a how your partner prefers to give and receive affection.

Everyone has one major love language. It’s the things that others do that make you feel special. Many people have a couple of secondary preferences that aren’t as strong as the primary one. Nevertheless, they are still important.

What are the five love languages?

five love languagesHere is a brief list of the five love languages Dr. Gary Chapman suggests to help you better understand yourself and your partner.

Love language Meaning  Positive communication Negative
Affirmation Encouraging words, caring words “You look beautiful. I appreciate your efforts.” Not interested, being distracted. Assume you know they love you, without telling you.
Time with them Want attention, time together Spend time with you, join activities with you. Doesn’t plan dates, disinterested in the things you like to do.
Gifts Big or small gifts are meaningful. Little gifts of coffee, muffins. Love notes left in your car. Gifts that were not planned. No time put into what you like.
Serving Doing chores, helping around the house, running errands. See you need help and initiate it. Run errands without being asked. They ignore that you need help. If you ask them to help, they forget.
Touch Loves kissing, cuddling, hugging. Romance is important. You like holding hands, rubbing backs, and cuddling on the sofa. Don’t seem interested or motivated to kiss or cuddle that much.

 

 

The five love languages in detail

Each of the five love languages has specific details explaining what they are and what they mean.  You need to understand your love language and your partner’s love language. Let’s take a detailed look at each of the five love languages.

Affirmation

Affirmation is defined as emotional support and encouragement. It’s love expressed with words that build up or encourage. Affirmation communicates love with phrases like

  • “Your hair looks great today.”
  • “You always make me feel happy.”
  • “I’m lucky to have you in my life.”
  •  “I’m proud of you!”
  • “I love being with you.”

If this is your partner’s love language, be sure to compliment them, encourage them, and be specific with your affirmation. They don’t appreciate sarcasm or wicked humor. Watch your words. Saying hurtful things even if you’re joking goes deep for these folks. They feel it more than others.

Important to know: Your affirmation must be genuine. Folks who need this affirmation care deeply about the emotions behind the words. If you say empty sounding words, they will feel like you don’t really mean what you’re saying.

Spending time with them

This special someone is all about spending time together. If this is your partner’s love language, they will want your undivided attention. They will love it when you hang with you to watch their favorite television or go shopping with them. Plus, they want you to turn off your phone, to look them in the eye and talk with them and listen to them.  They will feel like you don’t care if you always cancel your times together or if you forget. Quality time for them isn’t out at a restaurant with a group of friends. It’s attention and focus and being there. Here are three things you can do to spend quality time with your partner, whose love language is time. Your time with them should be.

  • Deliberate-This means effort and planning time with them. It’s their special time with you.
  • Focus-Be focused on them only. Look at them, talk with them in an undistracted way. Ask them questions. Listen with your complete attention.
  • Loving-Be affection and loving. Show them you love them.

boyfriendGifts

Those who have this as their love language enjoy small gifts. The gifts don’t need to be expensive or luxurious.  They love little surprise notes, flowers, or food gifts. They will be sentimental and keep your gifts for years. Knowing you care enough to take the time to give them something is extremely meaningful and makes them feel loved. Here are some suggestions for gifts you can give your better half.

  • Pick up a coffee for them
  • Order the book they want to read
  • Hand lotions
  • Candles
  • Perfume
  • Scarf
  • A funny card
  • Write a sweet note on the bathroom mirror

Serving

Someone who prefers serving feels that actions are a lot louder than your words. Expressions of doing means the most because they take your time and your energy. If the service is done grudgingly or with complaining, the person feels unloved. Acts of affection done spontaneously mean the most to those who speak this love language. Doing things for them to ease their burden means a lot.

  • Doing the dishes
  • Taking care of the baby in the middle of the night
  • Spontaneously vacuuming the living room
  • Cooking dinner or ordering out, so they don’t need to cook
  • Taking the kids out for a walk to give them a break

Like the other love languages, acts of service don’t need to be extravagant to be meaningful. It’s the little things that are meaningful to them.

Touch

Physical touch is the love language of many people. This doesn’t mean that you are interested in extreme PDA, but you want to feel connected to your partner by kissing, hand holding, or hugging. The physical touch love language isn’t necessarily about sex, or even showing you’re interested in sex at the moment. It’s more about feeling close. Examples of physical touch love language look like these:

  • Holding hands while you’re at a restaurant
  • Putting your head on their shoulder
  • Sitting close on the sofa
  • Giving a back rub
  • Running your hair through their hair

Of course, physical touch is important in all romantic relationships. But some people feel most loved by touching.

How to communicate your love language

Many couples are together for years without understanding the love language of one another.  It’s important to communicate your love language to your partner and to figure out their love language. Watch closely how your partner expresses their love to you. Do they touch a lot or bring home little gifts all the time? Good chance, that’s their preferred style.

Growing up, your parents probably showed their love for you by taking care of you, physical affection, and affirmation. They may have showered you with gifts all the time. You often pick up your parents’ love language and express affection in this way. But once you’re in a relationship, you may find out that your partner doesn’t express or seem interested in communicating love in this way. This is what causes the disconnect for couples who aren’t aware of one another’s love language. Here’s a quick test to figure out what you and your partner’s love language might be.

  • What do they (you) complain about the most in your relationship?
  • How do they (you) express love to others?
  • What do they (you) request most often from your partner?

These are great indicators of which love language matters most to you or your partner.

five love languagesFinal Thoughts on Growing Closer to Your Partner by Understanding the Five Love Languages

Everyone communicates love differently.  These sweet expressions are meaningful ways in which you receive and show your affection for each other. The five love languages are affirmation, gifts, serving, spending time, and physical touch.  Your love language expresses how you personally like your partner’s adoration to be communicated and shown to you.  Once you and your partner understand one another’s love language, your relationship can flourish and grow.

Science Explains What Happens if You Go to Bed Hungry

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You’re heading to bed, but your stomach tells you that the small salad you had for dinner didn’t cut it. You are really hungry. But bedtime eating is a big no-no, right? Maybe not.

Now we know the truth. Eating a nighttime snack before bed may not be as bad as previously thought. So, what happens when you go to bed hungry? Will you gain weight?

For many years, eating right before you went to bed was considered unhealthy. People avoided nighttime snacks for fear of gaining weight. But studies suggest quite the opposite. Instead of being harmful, eating a low-calorie protein-rich snack before bed benefits your muscles and metabolism, and you won’t gain weight.

A few things to keep in mind if you are hungry at bedtime.

Of course, knowing that it’s okay to eat a nighttime snack doesn’t mean you should overeat during the day.  Eating the majority of your calories late at night will cause weight gain. Instead, during the day, consume a diet high rich in vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, healthy whole grains, and lean dairy. Add fish high in omega 3s such as salmon or tuna to your diet several times a week.  Eat only a small amount of meat.  Get plenty of exercise every day, such as walking, swimming, biking, or running.

A healthy lifestyle, along with eating a low calorie, protein-dense snack before bedtime, will improve your health and help you sleep better.

What happens if you go to bed hungry?

hungryNow you know why you should eat a healthy snack before bedtime, but what happens if you go to bed with a growling stomach?

1 – You won’t sleep as well

Being hungry makes it hard to fall asleep. Your brain is more alert when you’re hungry, so your body can’t relax.  If you fall asleep, there is a good chance you’ll wake up a couple of hours later, even hungrier and wide awake with your brain on overdrive. The next day you’ll feel groggy and tired. It won’t be easy to do your job or schoolwork. Lack of sleep causes you to make mistakes and be less engaged in what you’re doing.

 2 – You’ll eat more the next day

Feeling hungry during the night not only messes up your sleep cycle, but it also increases your appetite the next day. When you’re tired, you’re apt to eat more because your body is trying to increase your energy. This overeating causes you to gain weight. Some researchers found lack of sleep causes you to eat comfort foods high in sugar and fat. Plus, if you’re tired, you’ll drink more caffeine to stay awake during the day. Too much caffeine affects your ability to fall asleep. It’s a crazy cycle that can be avoided if you eat a small healthy snack at bedtime.

Some illnesses, such as hypothyroidism, can cause insomnia due to our blood sugar dips during the night. If you suffer from hypothyroid insomnia, try eating a low-calorie protein and carb snack of whole-grain crackers spread with a teaspoon of peanut butter to regulate your blood sugar during the night so you’ll be able to sleep.

3 – You’ll lose muscle mass

Your metabolism slows down at night. When you’re in a deep sleep, your body repairs and builds muscle by turning protein into muscle and repairing damaged tissue. If you go to bed hungry, your body won’t have the extra energy it needs to do this job, so you end up losing muscle mass as you sleep. While this is not a big deal if you do this on occasion, it becomes more of a threat if you make it a daily habit.

4 – You won’t have energy

You know what it’s like to have a sleepless night of tossing and turning. The next day you feel tired and listless. When you go to bed hungry, you’re apt to lose sleep, which in turn will cause you to feel exhausted and out of energy. Eating a light protein snack before bed helps you wake up feeling refreshed and full of energy.

5 – You’ll have lower insulin levels

Your insulin levels are maintained by eating regular healthy meals during the day. If you go to bed with an empty stomach, it causes your insulin levels to drop. Over time, you could develop hypoglycemia. Hypoglycemia causes low sugar levels or blood glucose levels. If left untreated, hypoglycemia will turn into diabetes. Your body uses glucose for energy.

Symptoms of hypoglycemia include the following:

  • Shaky feeling
  • Anxiousness
  • Sweating or chills
  • Impatience
  • Confusion
  • Irregular heartbeat
  • Dizziness
  • Nausea
  • Hunger
  • Weakness

If you are regularly experiencing these symptoms, talk to your doctor. They can give you tests to check your blood sugar levels. Some medications affect your blood sugar levels, causing you to be prone to becoming hypoglycemic or diabetic.

pop memeWhat should you eat if you are hungry at bedtime?

So, you know you should start eating a low-calorie, healthy snack before bed, but what should you eat? Here is a list of fourteen suggested bedtime snacks.

  1. Low-fat milk with a whole-grain cereal
  2. Scrambled eggs or boiled egg
  3. Peanut butter on whole-grain crackers (only one or two)
  4. Yogurt topped with granola.
  5. Apple slices dipped in peanut butter.
  6. Handful of walnuts, almonds, or cashews
  7. Protein smoothie
  8. Hummus on whole wheat pita bread
  9. Turkey sandwich on whole grain bread
  10. Grapes
  11. Fresh fruit
  12. Oatmeal
  13. Cheese and crackers
  14. Pumpkin seeds or sunflower seeds

What should you avoid eating before bedtime?

But eating high-fat or high-calorie snacks at night is never a good idea. Instead, choose low-calorie snacks around 100 to 150 calories at the most. Keep a good supply of low-fat, low-calorie snacks available, so when you raid the refrigerator at midnight looking for something to eat, you’ll have healthy choices.

Avoid high sugar snacks that will make your blood sugar fluctuate during the night. Stay away from spicy food since these foods can cause heartburn, which can interrupt your good night’s sleep. Here’s a list of the worst bedtime snacks.

Chocolate

Chocolate candy bars, snack bars, or cookies are high in sugar, which causes your blood sugar to fluctuate during the night and waking you up. Besides, chocolate contains caffeine, which might keep you awake.

Cheeseburger and fries

A cheeseburger and fries may sound delicious at midnight, but it will come back to bite you. Eating high-fat foods late at night causes heartburn and insomnia. These eating a diet of high in fatty foods will cause weight gain, heart disease, and high blood pressure. So, resist the call of that cheeseburger and fries when you’re hungry at night.

Pizza

Pizza is a classic late-night snack, but it’s not a good bedtime snack. High in fat, salt, and acid, pizza can cause heartburn. Most doctors suggest that you eat your biggest meal at breakfast or lunchtime, not late at night. Eating pizza late at night will pack on the pounds, so avoid it.

Pasta

Eating a big bowl of pasta is the ultimate night time comfort food. Unfortunately, it’s high in carbohydrates, which causes your blood sugar to spike and your body to store fat. Go ahead, eat your pasta at lunchtime, but skip it late at night.

Spicy foods

Eating chips and salsa may sound like a yummy snack, but eating hot peppers late at night is a sure way to cause insomnia and heartburn and possibly lots of trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Sugary drinks

Avoid drinking juice, soda, or sweet coffee at night. Sugar and caffeine will keep you awake. Sweets at night can spike your blood sugar.  If you’re craving something sweet, try eating frozen grapes or some cherry juice with natural melatonin.

hungryFinal thoughts on not going to bed hungry

You always thought that going to bed hungry would help you lose weight, but it’s not true. If you’re hungry before bed, eat a small snack. It only makes sense. There’s nothing worse than waking with in the middle of the night with a grumbling tummy.

When you’re raiding the fridge for your nighttime snack, reach for a healthy, low-fat protein snack. Avoid fatty, sugary foods, even if you’re craving them. They will not only cause your blood sugar to rise but cause weight gain. Feeling hungry at bedtime? No problem. Just let common sense rule when you choose your late-night healthy snack.

How To Start Saying No And Stop Struggling, According To Therapists

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Are you a people pleaser? Do you tend to be a yes man? There’s nothing inherently wrong with being able to fit a lot onto your plate. But you might find yourself overextending and becoming burned out often. The solution is clear–start saying “no.”

Before you know it, all the people you’ve said yes to have saddled you with tasks you can barely stand under. As time progresses, each task becomes harder and harder to finish, and you get more and more exhausted. Worse still, the constant people-pleasing means people are always coming to you to request assistance, and you’re at the end of your rope!

6 Ways You Can Start Saying No

How can you fix this? It’s simple – learn to start saying “no.” Of course, that’s much easier said than done, but it’s far from impossible and is a skill worth picking up. Here’s how to start saying no and stop struggling, according to therapists.

1.    Say “I Don’t,” Not, “I Can’t.”

saying no“I don’t” is quite a powerful phrase. It conveys the important message that you aren’t and will not be interested in or capable of doing an activity for a certain situation. You’re setting up your personal rules and showing your strong convictions that won’t be knocked down.

On the other hand, when you say the phrase “I can’t,” you’re less firm. You’re saying a reluctant statement that tries to let the other down gently – “it’s not me, it’s just the circumstances”! Unfortunately, that can be misconstrued. Sure, to you, it’s a refusal, but other people can hear several different things, like:

  • An excuse that can be debated or fought
  • A lack of certainty that can be swayed
  • A mind that can be convinced or changed

Vanessa Patrick, a Doctor Of Philosophy, authored a study about this very phenomenon. In it, she explains how her results indicated that using the phrase “I don’t” instead of “I can’t” resulted in more positive results from the refuser. It was simply more efficient and understandable, allowing for the firm message to come across quickly.

2.    Be Aware Of Your Limits

Boundaries are essential for a positive life, with good work-life balances and relationships all around. But how can you ensure those boundaries are in place properly, and how can you determine your limits? Here are some ideas:

·         Recognize What’s Feasible For You

You can’t do everything! When you have multiple areas of responsibility, it’s time to slow down. There will be time to do other things in the future. If you struggle with this concept, adjust the thought in your brain, says Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and adolescent peer consultant Elizabeth Hinkle. You’re not saying no forever – just no, for now.

·         Start Prioritizing

If you consider all your tasks equally important, you’re going to wind up burned out and exhausted. National Certified Counselors, Licensed Professional Counselor, and Mind Body and Soul founder Madeleine DiLeonardo suggests trying to find a balance that works best for you. Naturally, balance as a concept can change from week to week, but recognizing bandwidth allows you to determine how much you can put on your plate. Knowing that amount will let you choose what to prioritize.

·         Give Yourself Permission

It’s difficult to accept that you have every right to be pushy back if someone is particularly pushy. Give yourself the permission to shoot back and make a joke out of the situation, recommends Bregman Partners CEO Peter Bregman. This will gain the other person’s respect and show them that your “no” means no, end of the story.

3.    Be Kind

Depending on what you’re saying “no” to, the other person may be upset by your refusal. That’s perfectly fine and normal, especially if the person in question isn’t taking it out on you or being too aggressively pushy about it.

While you shouldn’t let your refusal be compromised, you can still be compassionate to the person in question. That can help you get your “no” out there without feeling guilty about hurting someone else. Here are some tips for this!

·         Express Appreciation

It’s okay to tell someone that you appreciate that they’ve come to you. This doesn’t mean you’re going to change your answer, states Bergman – just that you want to make it clear that you understand what this must mean to them.

·         Know It’s Okay To Let People Down

It is simply impossible to please everyone. Someone will feel disappointed by standing up for your boundaries will be okay and recover from this minor sting. DiLeonardo recommends working on not internalizing it – stay confident and retain positive thinking because you made the best decision for yourself.

·         Offer An Explanation

Most people dislike not knowing why you’ve turned them down and potentially disappointed them. If possible, be honest about why you’re unable to do something, no matter what the cause is, recommends Bergman. This is especially true for people who are very close to you; the further the acquaintance, the less you’ll need to explain yourself.

·         Say Kind Words And Be Supportive

What happens when you have to say no to someone who needs some assistance in a more serious variety? The Plaza Hotel’s Finishing Program and Beaumont Etiquette founder and director Myka Meier recommends making it absolutely clear that you care. Be supportive and offer compassionate words. Make sure they know that you do want to help and would if you were able to.

·         Get It Straight – The No Is About The Request, Not The Individual

Please make sure the person who is asking for your aid knows you respect them as a person. Bergman says you should ensure that you’re clear that the “no” is for their question, invitation, or request, not for the actual person you’re dealing with. Be genuine about your feelings regarding your respect for them, so they know for certain that it’s truly not their fault.

socially intelligent4.    Get Good At Being Assertive

Assertiveness takes time to learn and build. It’s a good idea to get started right now, but don’t aim too high just yet. Start by practicing your assertiveness in situations that are more low-stakes. As an example, you can:

  • Tell a cashier that you do not use store credit cards when asked to apply, instead of politely saying, “not today, thanks.”
  • Explain today a salesperson trying to convince you to buy something that you don’t use, want, or need their product, instead of turning them down very gently.
  • Tell a distant acquaintance asking you to favor that you don’t have free time when they need you, instead of reluctantly agreeing or agreeing only to cancel later.

Why should you practice first? Well, assertiveness is much harder to come by when you’re trying to deal with the people close to you in your life. Practicing in advance will help you get into the swing of things, so you are more ready to be assertive among people you know.

Concerned that you might be too assertive? Push that thought aside! Studies have actually found that personal ideas of assertiveness aren’t accurate. This means that the way you perceive your “pushiness” is typically completely wrong! Don’t worry about being confrontational; as long as you’re not shouting or going overboard, there’s a high chance that the person you’re turning down isn’t perceiving you as threateningly as you think you’re being.

5.    Tailor Your “No”s

Different people are going to need different kinds of “no”s from you. You wouldn’t, for example, say “no” to your sibling and your boss the same way. Meier recommends tailoring your phrases of denial based on your “audience.” Here are some examples:

·         For A Friend

Gently be honest and direct about the reasons for your refusal, offer kind words, and suggest an alternative method of support or aid. If you have the bandwidth, offer to make it up to them – and make good on that offer. Don’t flake on them later!

·         For A Colleague

Be casual but professional, maintaining clear, respectful language and making sure your explanation, if any, isn’t too personal.

·         For A Boss

Express appreciation and desire to do your task, but explain the situation you have professionally. If the tasks currently taking your attention are work-related, convey that to your boss and ask if you should switch gears.

Need some go-to phrases? Avoid using the word “sorry” – you don’t owe someone an apology for being unable to meet their request! Instead, try some of these statements on for size; they work best for professional settings:

  • I currently have too many commitments and am unable to give this my attention.
  • Unfortunately, I’m not currently able to assist with that matter.
  • I can help you find another person who is capable of taking on this task.
  • I don’t have the time to devote to this task right now; I’ll be able to take it on in two weeks.

6.    Accept That Missing Out Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

When you have to say no to some things, you’re going to miss out on those things. And that’s okay and completely fine! Unfortunately, a lot of people suffer from FOMO – the Fear Of Missing Out. If you get FOMO often, it could be preventing you from saying “no” and ruining your positive thinking when you have to.

Career coach and counselor Dara Blaine states that we live in what can be described as a “yes” culture. In this culture, people are always expected to say yes to further themselves. You might have heard some phrases like “the grind never stops”; that’s the kind of mentality that could make you believe you’ll never succeed if you take even one break.

It’s a good idea to start by laying out your personal goals. Understand the things that are most important to you. Once you know what matters most, you’ll know what you don’t want to miss out on and what doesn’t truly matter in the long run.

pop memeFinal Thoughts On How To Say No And Stop Struggling, According To Therapists

It can be tough to say “no” to the people in your life, especially those you see often or who mean a lot to you, and even more so if you’re not used to it. But ultimately, learning when to put your foot down and say no is crucial in maintaining your health and wellness. So don’t spread yourself too thin!

7 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship, According to Law of Attraction

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Being positive takes work. Once you’ve mastered how to see the world through rose-colored glasses, then you want to be around like-minded folks. Though people say that opposites attract, there must be something in common to form a relationship.

One of the critical aspects of attraction is a positive attitude. Do you want to hang around with someone who is negative all the time? Did you know that it creates more opportunities for you when you’re positive, and it makes you less fearful of trying new things?

Having that attitude and believing that you can accomplish anything you set your mind too is infectious, and people will want to be around you. There’s no way you will succeed at everything in life, but your optimism rises from the success you’ve already achieved.

Could You Have Better Relationships if You Alter Your Attitude?

The Law of Attraction is a belief system that teaches people to attract positive outcomes by exuding positivity. This mindset impacts every area of life–including your relationships. So those who want to have excellent interpersonal connections will establish those by positive thinking.

Here’s how it works.

being positiveDid your parents always tell you that “Birds of a feather flock together?” They probably were chastising the crowd that you hung around with during your childhood. Some of your friends were positive, but it was the negative ones that troubled them.

A cynical person usually complains a lot, and in return, you will start to complain too when you’re around such an individual. When you’re focused on all the things that are wrong in your life, it’s hard to count your blessings. Complainers are concentrate on pointing out the negative aspects so much that they can’t see all their gifts.

Complaining is flat out negativity. Can you imagine going on a date or to a job interview and complaining the entire time? You wouldn’t dare do that because you know they will quickly overlook you for someone who has a better attitude. Being a complainer creates people to develop a wrong impression of you, affecting your health and relationships.

Do you think the negative people you meet in this life have people flocking to them for wisdom and friendship? You won’t be favorably remembered if you complain, or if you are, it won’t be for the right reasons.

When there’s a pool of 100 applicants for a job, you want to stand out and be memorable. What you don’t want is to be remembered for your chronic negativity.

Seven Excellent Ways of Being Positive

If you want to become a more positive person, then you need to change your mindset. Here are a few tips to help you change the way you view things.

1. Make the Choice to Be Happy

Being positive is not a procedure that you study. There are no techniques or tricks either. It’s the outcome of choice. It would help if you chose to see obstacles as tasks rather than barriers; it’s confidence in your talents and believing in you and others.

Don’t fake being cheerful, as others will see right through it. Plus, it’s not going to help you develop a positive attitude. Just because someone greets you with a smile doesn’t mean they’re an optimistic person.

You can feel there’s something not genuine about them, and soon their real demeanor will show. If you want to be happy and positive, then you must choose to be that way. It’s not going to be easy, but you can retrain your brain to view things on the sunny side of life.

A positive person is pleasant to be around, and you won’t have to tell anyone that you’ve changed your mindset. People will draw closer to you because you can take whatever life throws your way and smile through the pain. Your tenacity for life will become infectious.

2. Don’t Let Life Affect You

Don’t let the cares of life get you down. If you’re positive, people will be able to hear it in your tone when you’re speaking, and they will see it in your expressions. Your friends and colleagues can pick up on your inner turmoil in the way you walk and the light that comes from your eyes.

If you’re remaining positive, they will be able to tell. They can also tell when you’re trying to “fake it to make it.” There will be troubles in life, and there will be days where you don’t want to do the daily grind.

However, you can’t let all the outside influences ruin your optimistic nature.

3. Recite Positive Affirmations (important in the Law of Attraction)

Being positive takes practice. You’re not going to be cured of your negativity overnight. Thankfully, you can help to retrain your brain by reciting positive affirmations each day.

Do you wake up each morning with a headache when you think about all you must accomplish? When you change the way you look at the day, you will change the way you feel. Start saying things to yourself like the following phrases:

  • Today’s going to be a great day
  • I will meet exciting new people
  • I will be kind to all my coworkers
  • I’ll accomplish every goal set before me
  • I am optimistic because I am blessed
  • I am loved
  • I will make today memorable

When you start saying things like this every morning when you awaken, you will change your entire mood. If you want more friends and deeper relationships, then being positive is an excellent place to start.

positive affirmations

4. Helps Others

Perhaps one of the most significant ways to change your outlook and attitude is to give back. There’s always someone that has it worse than you. You may be sad because you’re going through a divorce or you lost your job, but what about the person that never had a job or marriage.

Find ways that you can give back to your community. It’s a humbling experience to serve soup to someone that is homeless when you have a home and cabinets full of food. Remember the Golden Rule, and you should apply it to every aspect of your life.

Being positive by reaching out to those in need is a great place to start. Plus, there will be many opportunities to meet new friends along the way. People that give back and are into philanthropy flocked to others of the same mindset.

5. Learn to Manage Your Problems

There is no life without problems. Whether you’re a millionaire or have $20 in the bank, you’re going to have struggles. The difference is a positive person knows how they handle them.

While you may not have a solution, you can manage your response. If you want better relationships, then having the right answers to problems created by others is a place to start. Don’t freak out over every little thing that comes your way.

Tackle what you can and leave the rest to the universe. You’re only human, and you need to realize that you have limitations. Being positive reminds you that you need to call on a higher power when the cares of life become too much to handle.

6. Set Goals

Everyone needs to set goals for their life. This is because you don’t want to become preoccupied with what’s behind you but instead look to the future. A plan will give you the motivation that you need to get out of bed in the morning.

Once you accomplish a goal, no matter how small, you will have a boost in your step because you can cross something off your list. If you want to make more money, get involved in a serious relationship, or get a new job, you can accomplish it by having a systematic approach.

7. Make Lists

If you struggle with the concept of being positive, then you should make a list of how this mindset alteration will affect you. Will your family and friends like you better with an optimistic attitude?

How much better would life be if you weren’t cynical and depressed about failures and problems all the time? Your life can do a 180 degree turn when you learn to stop looking at everything wrong in life and look at what’s right.

being positiveFinal Thoughts on How Being Positive Can Improve Relationships

Maybe you don’t see the need to change. You can be successful, have lots of friends, and even be rich, all while being a negative person. However, when you change your mindset to the positive side, you are successful, no matter what comes your way.

Sure, you have friends, but do you want to be friends with Scrooge? Your relationships can be more profound, and doors in the business world can open to you that you never thought possible. Do you need a ghost to tell you what your past, present, and future will look like if you don’t change your ways? Then look to the Law of Attraction. Study it, understand it, and put it to work in your life.

Being positive will transform you into your thoughts and also your behaviors. If you want to marry a princess, you must first become the prince that attracts such royalty. Additionally, if you’re going to have any long-term relationships, you must be willing to give yourself in some capacity.

Remember, the farmer doesn’t get corn until he plants the seed. It would help if you planted seeds of goodness and positivity in your life to reap the harvest of the same.

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Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

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