We all manifest one or more behaviors that push people away at least once, if not more. It’s human nature and nothing anyone has to be ashamed about. The mere recognition that you’ve possessed one or more of these traits is a good step towards eliminating them from your life and allowing positivity to enter.
Most of the time, people may not realize they’re pushing others away. There are several reasons for that, and this article will focus on what they are and how to reverse them.
6 Behaviors That Push People Away (and How to Reverse Them)
1. Selfishness
Undoubtedly, the world could use more considerate and thoughtful people. A small gesture of selflessness can go a long way in keeping the people you care about the most in your life. Humans, by nature, are intuitive creatures and can sense if you are doing something with selfish intent. Just because people may not always act on that intuition doesn’t make taking advantage of them okay.
To live a happy life, you must learn how to live and thrive with others, which requires giving away part of yourself without seeking anything in return. Ironically, when you give of yourself without expecting, you are returned that back and more. So if you need a blessing, switch your focus and be a blessing.
2. Conceitedness
The display of conceited behavior will surely push people away in any social situation. Nobody likes story after story of self-edification consistently communicated via an over-inflated ego. Talking about yourself is great when it’s light and authentic. It’s easy to tell the difference.
Despite what mainstream media may portray, there isn’t a single person in the whole world who is the center of everyone’s entire Universe.
It is always a good idea to let other people into the spotlight and consider the implications of your decisions and actions towards them to foster a healthy relationship. Pop any self-inflated bubble you may be living in and try to communicate and understand the needs and happiness of those around you.
3. Self-Righteousness
Sometimes people tend to think highly of themselves and their beliefs… too highly. This can lead to looking down on others and their decisions without even knowing it. In some instances, some people’s egos go so far that they may intentionally want others to feel degraded. But this is a false way to live and gain respect.
To transform this, one must understand that each individual sets a different standard of how they want to live their lives – and that’s okay. We all have unique values, and no one is better than anyone else. Respect that and honor others as you honor yourself.
4. Perfectionism
Humans are not perfect. They are bound to make mistakes, which makes humans special. They are capable of using failures as a learning experience. Expecting perfection from others is unfair when you cannot guarantee everything you do is perfect.
Allow for a little leeway and acknowledge that people will make mistakes. Aiming for perfection is unrealistic, but excellence in all things can provide a life of fulfillment.
5. Chronic Complaining
Happy and successful people do not complain much. Conversely, it seems that chronic complainers always have something negative to say… even when those around them are happy! The bottom line: we all have different circumstances that we are given in this lifetime, but in the end, these circumstances are ours – fair or unfair, wanted or unwanted. Instead, seek solutions to problems instead of complaining, leading nowhere.
6. Cynicism
One of the most burdensome behaviors that people tend to display is cynicism. There is no way of finding out the outcome of anything without giving it a chance first. Remember to give people the benefit of the doubt without jumping to conclusions. Positive thinking can bring new ways of thinking and living to any cynic. It may even completely transform their life, because they will be created when you believe in more possibilities.
“Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Not necessarily oversharing as much as the harshness my too much forcefulness too much assertiveness that’s what my real friends tell me honest.
I was accused of all of the above in 2007 when I tried to tell people about the mortgage scandals on Wall Street and that we were in danger of a stock market crash in 2008 and possibly the worst depression the United States has ever faced. Unfortunately, I was correct and only the quick thinking of a few smart people prevented it from happening. However, it will take several generations to pay off these white collar crimes and no one on Wall Street has gone to jail.
I wish they would have actually included "how to reverse" them in here. They basically just said "if you're sad you have to be happy" It's not that simple to drop a habit! Especially if you were raised to continue that habit, such as perfectionism.
Genuine interest is important. i dated a man who rarely asked how my day was or what was going on in my life. we aren't together anymore.
People that try to control me, push me away.
Arrogant and disrespectful people push me away from others
Passive-aggressive martyrdom. It's very difficult for me to even find the desire to respond to this behavior. Sympathy through aggression does not compute….
no me because i understand people that complain all the time all they need is a understand heart and someone wo will her them get the hurt off there chest
People who constantly judge others.
Lying. Instant turn off.
Negative people who feels that the whole world owes them this and that. You can really feel their negative energy lingering around you even after meetup.
If you don't wake up fast, they might be happy to put you in their circle.
People who can't make decisions, or confirm plans. Are they that unsure of themselves, or simply avoiding.
so true
I would like to know what types of behaviours will bring ot others closer to us
I agree, the "one upper" type is very annoying, although at times I manage to also feel a sort of pity for them. I don't care for "know it alls," or "posers" much either. And liars are a big problem. The items mentioned in the article hold true in my mind as well. Good to know as we all have our bad days/moments.
People who play the "victim" card and always feel like the world is against them. "Woe is me" attitude.
That is not necessary true. My whole life I have tried to fine tune the way I interact with people and have tried to sift through feedback over the years. I came from a family that has sometimes let their egos run amok to the point of hurting each other. I know this is true in a lot of families, but it's hard sometimes when you are trying to examine your own behavior and their is still that one person that continues to stir things up and seems to enjoy the chaos they create.
teah you're right,it's really annoying.
I hite people like this even if Idon't want to hate people
Being dominating in conversations. Also, those who exaggerate stories or lie – it gets tiresome.
GREED When some one passes away the true character of the survivors reveals their true identity. An example of this is when my mom passed away a couple of siblings walked away with some of mom's money leaving it to some one else to find a way to bury my mom
Oh my gosh .. That describes a handful of people I know. Can't stand to be around them. If only they would recognize themselves in this article. Smh..
Then there is the "one upper" personality….someone who always has a story that one ups or trumps a story that someone is telling. No matter the situation they have experienced something worse, more dramatic, more tragic, funnier, etc. For these personalities it would be nice it they could just listen to a story and acknowledge the individual.
Someone who never sees anything good in other. If the idea does not come from him it's never good enough. Someone who who belittle other people to boost their own sense of importance.
LOL, yeah…lotta people that behave like this.
Wow, I would almost think you know my sister. LOL
A person that constantly uses 'i' statements…A person that is also shallow in the sense that they use their job,things, money, position or family as a measuring stick of how great they are and how 'low' you are if you don't have the very same thing.
I just look at it as people are rude. I know people all around me do off the wall stuff I'm wtf are you doing. I try not to push everyone away but it happens not just sometimes but all the time I don't know if it is me but I'm trying to find out. THE MOST IMPORTANT THAT I HATE THE MOST IS WHEN SOMEONE TALKS BAD ABOUT OTHER PERSON IN FRONT OF ME. P.S I TRY TO BE KIND TO EVERYONE THAT I TALK TO BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE SET IN THERE WAYS . FROM ROBERT BRAY
People who judge …a lot !!
I have a tendency to be cynical…something to work on
It pushes me away when people don't recognise me as the most awesome human being in existance
People who criticise without thinking that what person might feel of the words spoken or written , do not realise the efforts put in the work , trying to show off they are perfectionists but they themselves have failed manny times.
arrogant 'know it all' people
What pushes me away from someone is when they try to constantly try to change me. When I don't fit into the mold they are trying to make for me, than their true colours come out.
I really don't know wt make others push me..bt I hav seen peopl just stop talking.. Bt I watch d other person vl b same as me r sumtim more worst bt still others talk to dem bt not me….can anybdy answer
Sarcástic people push me away!!!
Gossipers. Is their life that boring that they need to talk about me all the time?
Trying to make others feel small.
JEALOUSY
For me, complainers really push me away! And those who always talk negatively about other people to make themselves feel superior.
For me, complainers really push me away! And those who always talk negatively about other people to make themselves feel superior.