The heart muscle sends ripples of pumping joy out to your toes and fingers whenever you think of your beloved; if only you could find the way to your partner’s heart, you know they would feel the same.
6 Ways To Find Your Way to Your Partner’s Heart
They say that a man’s stomach is the way to his heart, but they also say that all men want to be respected and all women want to be loved. It is more likely true that every single one of us just wants to be loved and respected. Let’s look at the 6 ways that you can find your way to your partner’s heart.
1. Be slightly unavailable
This is not a suggestion to stray from your romantic partner, this is an important part of making yourself desirable to your mate. If you are always there, hanging on your partner’s every word, with no dreams or pursuits of your own, you are just a passive tagalong in your relationship.
Find your way to your partner’s heart by taking an active role in your well-being. Do the things that you love, even if your partner doesn’t. You supporting your own interests is how you show yourself love, and that makes you more alluring to your partner.
2. Put yourself first
Who is more likely to be someone that you would care about, a person with ambition, or someone without? No one loves a doormat, so make sure that your goals remain your priority. In a perfect world, with a perfect soulmate, your goals would be the same.
Make your partner aware that you plan to pursue your dreams, and that you are not willing to sacrifice that just to earn a place in your partner’s heart. Be willing to adjust the timeframe, or how specifically you will reach your goal to fit with your partner’s plans. Don’t let go of your passion for your partner.
When you prioritize your own plans first, you reaffirm your determination to your partner. That passion, drive, and self-love makes you an object of desire and will help you find your way to your partner’s heart.
3. Ask for a favor
Strangely enough, a psychological study showed that doing a favor for someone makes you like them more. It seems that our brain justifies that fact that we are willing to help this person by reasoning that we must like them.
So you can use this fact to your advantage to find your way to your partner’s heart. Never take advantage, but ask your partner to do little things for you to help you.
4. Learn your partner’s love language
Each of us gives and receives love a little differently. Pay close attention to what your partner likes. According to Gary Chapman, author of the 5 Love Languages, there are 5 ways in which we prefer to give and receive love; Tasteful clothes or fine gifts, sensual touch and closeness, communication with positive words of love and encouragement, spending time, or giving to others.
5. Praise your parents’ relationship to your partner
It makes sense, our experience with close, loving relationships starts with our parents. If your parents had a successful, happy relationship, we think that we can also be successful in love.
Researchers at the University of Massachusetts studying relationship lessons and attitudes of optimism vs. pessimism found that your parents’ happiness or divorce in their relationship predicts your attitude about marriage.
Even if your parents’ marriage was a disaster, make it sound rosy when you tell your partner about your childhood with your happy parents. Doubt about your genetic ability to maintain a relationship is not a good way to find your way to your partner’s heart.
Same for your partner, tell them that their horror stories about their parents’ relationship just show how much their parents cared, and had good intentions of raising a resilient adult. Putting a positive perspective on it helps heal emotional wounds too.
6. Help your partner to heal their heart
Your partner hasn’t opened their heart to you yet and it might mean your beloved has had emotional pain in their past, it is possible that in order for you to find your way to your partner’s heart, you have to rebuild it first.
Researchers studying forgiveness found that you may actually benefit from getting counseling to forgive someone who has wronged you. When participants who had been dumped in a relationship went to counseling sessions for a 6-week forgiveness program their mental health improved more and they had more forgiveness toward their ex than the control group did.
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Maybe your partner would benefit from talking to a counselor about it. Counseling can be found confidentially online and in apps now too. If your partner won’t try a counselor, get them to talk it through with you so they can forgive their ex and bring you completely into their heart.