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7 Signs It Is Time to Set Firm Boundaries With Your Family

May 28, 2022 by Chris Butler

Some families are good at living with boundaries. They naturally give others space. But other families can’t understand limits. They need some gentle but firm boundaries. How do you know you must set some ground rules with your family?

What is a relationship boundary?

Everyone lives with boundaries. Whether at work or school, you understand why limitations exist with other people. But family can be more complicated. So it’s easy to ignore the signs that indicate you need to set some limits with them.

Someone has described a boundary as an imaginary line you establish with other people regarding how you expect them to speak and act around you, your kids, and your house.

Signs you need to set firm boundaries with your family

Here is a list of the seven signs indicating it’s time for some family boundaries.

1 – Nonstop or frequent unannounced visits

If your sister stops by your house unannounced every day of the week, it’s time to set a boundary. Frequent, unannounced visits are disruptive to your family life. You may need to change your plans if she shows up at the wrong time. Perhaps your sister is lonely or looking for your support but hasn’t expressed it.

Solution:

Studies show that sibling relationships are often the longest-lasting family relationships a person will have. A good relationship with a sibling is essential for your well-being.

You may want to ask your sister why she’s coming over so often. It’s essential to be clear about your need for a boundary yet remain kind towards her. Being kind but firm, will help your sister feel like you care about her, but help her understand your limits.

2 – Unwanted advice about your life, your partner, or your job

Family members often feel like they’re helping you when they give unsolicited advice. Their suggestions about your work, where you live, or your partner can feel very intrusive. It’s easy to put up with them, but you may start to feel angry at them if you let it go on. Anger is harmful to your mind and body. Don’t allow their comments to fester. It would be best if you spoke up.

Solution:

No one else is going to set your boundaries. It’s something you must do yourself. So, when your aunt says something belittling about your partner, you must speak up and tell her to stop. If she continues, you need to say firmly and calmly,

“Aunt Elma, I know you’re concerned for me, but I don’t like the way you’re talking about Joe. If you keep talking like that, I’ll need to leave.”

While you acknowledge her concern for you, you also set a boundary for how she talks about someone you care for.

3 – Opinions shared about how you raise your kids

Being a parent is like having a target on your back. People seem very comfortable giving unsolicited parenting advice. It may be your mother-in-law giving you the side-eye for allowing your daughter one more show on your iPhone or a sarcastic comment by your sister about how strict your bedtime routine is compared to hers. At some point, you’ll become fed up with their unsolicited opinions.

Solution:

For relatives whom you know are genuinely trying to be helpful, you can say, “Thanks, but we’re going to stick with what we’re doing.” They’ll get the message to stop interfering.

But you need to be more direct with family members like your sister, who uses sarcasm to correct you. Tell your sister that her sarcastic comments make it clear she disagrees with your bedtime routine, but it’s what you think is best for your kids.

Your kids need to see how you work out disagreements with family members. It teaches them how to adapt to different people’s opinions without getting angry. It’s also helpful for your kids to understand that family members may parent differently.

4 – Buying things you don’t want without asking you

Do you have relatives who constantly buy stuff for you or your kids? Some relatives are extraordinarily generous, and gift-giving is how they express their love. But you may not appreciate your great aunt sending five stuffed animals in 30 days to your one-year-old. It’s probably time to set a firm boundary with your dear great-aunt.

Solution:

Tell your sweet relative how much you appreciate her generosity, but you’ve put a moratorium on all gifts unless they are for a birthday or a holiday. If she wants to buy something for your kids, she can keep them at her house. Please don’t bring them to your house.

If she keeps giving unsolicited gifts, the best way to discourage her is to say, “My, this is cute. I’ll drop it off at the thrift store tomorrow. I’m sure someone will want it, but we’re maxed out at my house.” Hearing that her gifts are going to the thrift store will quickly stop her overly zealous gift-giving.

5 – Comments about your diet or body

Families sometimes cross the line on comments about diet, weight loss, and weight gain. Everyone has advice on how you should look, how much exercise you need or what diet you should be on. If you’ve recently gained weight, it’s hurtful when your relatives make comments. You know you want to lose weight, but having them tell you that you should lose weight feels rude. It’s challenging to navigate through these comments. It would be best if you told them to stop.

Solution:

The fact that your relatives are so free with their opinions reveals their rudeness towards you. These relatives may not be as “safe” as you thought. You don’t owe them an explanation about your weight gain. Set a boundary by not replying to their rude comment. Or you can say, “It’s none of your business.” That should shut them down. If not, walk away from the conversation.

6 – Asking intrusive questions about your personal life

Well-meaning family members sometimes ask too many questions about friends, dating, or your significant other. Perhaps you’ve shared a little about your partner, and now they feel free to delve into the nitty-gritty details of your relationship. At this point, your comfort meter goes off, and you realize it’s time to set some strict boundaries about your personal life with your family.

Solution

When your relatives ask questions about your personal life, reply, “Thanks for asking, but I don’t want to comment on that.” If they pry for more information, keep pushing back with the same comment, then change the subject to another topic you are comfortable talking about.

7 – Snooping around your house

There are those family members who come into your house and start looking through your entire home without regard for your privacy. This behavior is insulting and shouldn’t be tolerated. Even if it’s your sweet grandma doing it. You need to tell her to stop.

Solution:

The first time you find a family member snooping around your house, say something like, “Oh, you must be lost. Let me show you where the living room is.” If they do it again, you need to address their behavior with something like, “Grandma, I caught you snooping through my stuff again. Please stop. If you don’t, you can’t come over to my house.

Why is it hard to set firm boundaries with family?

There are many reasons why you may feel hesitant to set boundaries with your family. Here are a few of them.

You love your family and worry that setting boundaries will ruin your relationships with them. It’s easy to assume that a limit will hurt your relationship with a family member, but the opposite is true. Even if they don’t like the boundary, they will respect that you can stand up for yourself.
Kids don’t stand up to the older family members in your family: This may have been true when you were little, but you’re an adult now. It’s okay to disagree with an older relative as long as you’re respectful. If they get belligerent and angry at you, it’s wonderful to tell them to stop or walk away from the conversation.
It’s the first time you’ve said anything: If you let things go for too long when you finally set up a boundary, it feels weird. Your family member may be surprised because “it never bothered you before.” You need to explain to them that it has bothered you, but you were afraid to tell them. This could open up a conversation about your relationship.
The living situation makes it more complicated: If you live with your parents or with you, setting up boundaries can be challenging. Don’t assume you can live with the annoying things they’re saying. You’ll eventually get irritated, which could result in you making angry comments. Your parents may be surprised at your reaction because they thought everything was okay. Speak up while you’re calm and express the need for a boundary.

Could setting firm boundaries improve your family relationships?

It’s not easy setting boundaries with your family, but ultimately they can strengthen your family relationships. Here are some reasons why limits can be helpful.

Boundaries draw a clear line so family members feel comfortable knowing what is expected of them around you and your family.
When you set up boundaries for your younger family members, you inspire them to stand up for themselves in a kind but firm way.
Setting up healthy boundaries shows respect for your family and yourself.
Your family will understand that you want an open, honest relationship with them.
Instead of feeling resentful or avoiding your relatives, you feel comfortable around your relatives.
Healthy boundaries make family relationships stronger

Final thoughts on knowing that it’s time to establish some firm boundaries

Getting together with your family can be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, family get-togethers sometimes involve gossip, unsolicited advice about your personal life, or unhelpful comments about your kids. At some point, you know it’s time to set some firm boundaries with a family member. It’s challenging to do but important for the sake of the relationship with that person and for your own heart. Take the bold step of telling that family member to stop saying or doing something. Be kind but firm with them. Setting a boundary is worth the hard work and produces good results for you and your family.

4 Ways An Act Of Kindness Can Fuel Inner Growth

May 28, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

An act of kindness is any behavior performed to benefit others, putting them first before you. Specifically, this act must be performed without the expectation of receiving anything in return. The compassion in these acts can make a difference in the world – and it can also fuel inner growth inside you.

Compassion should indeed be performed with an outward focus. If you’re only behaving kindly for the sake of personal gain, then it’s not an actual act of kindness. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t appreciate the positive effects that being compassionate can have. Numerous recorded benefits of kindness have made it even more enticing of a trait to develop.

One of those benefits, as mentioned above, has to do with your personal growth. Many people seek to improve themselves and become better people over time. Without consistent and dedicated inner growth, you’ll wind up stagnating in your life’s journey. To be your best self and achieve all your goals, you’ll want to be committed to continual inner growth. Though it can be an uncompromising commitment, it’s very worthwhile in every way!

So, what does kindness have to do with that personal development? As it turns out, being compassionate towards others may improve the person you are. It’s a truly incredible way to be rewarded for acts that genuinely require no reward. That’s all the more reason to start learning kindness today! Here are four ways an act of kindness can help with inner growth.

1. You Fuel Inner Growth By Gaining Perspective

Acts of kindness can open you up to many new perspectives in life. Studies show that one of the reasons your compassion can make you happy is because of broadened viewpoints. It makes sense! By being kind, you often see people when they’re vulnerable, and you learn from what you see. Perspective is a crucial part of inner growth for the following reasons.

· You Empathize With Others

When you regularly gain new perspectives, you also learn to apply them to different people. You’re able to understand the many walks of life that people come from. This makes you kinder, more tolerant, and more open to further learning. This empathy can also facilitate stronger bonds that enable you access to even additional perspectives!

· You Gain Other Points Of View

You can expand your horizons by taking in a vast array of different paradigms from people. This can be done whenever you perform an act of kindness for someone new. These new perspectives open your mind and broaden the way you see the world.

· You’re More About Future Possibilities

Direct those acts of kindness towards those who may feel down on their luck. Your simple action could do so much for them. That shifts your perspective and shows you the power that small and meaningful behaviors can have. You’ll be more optimistic about the future when you know that mindful and positive action can change so much in your favor.

2. You Fuel Inner Growth By Developing Positive Emotional Responses

Acts of kindness make others feel good, but they make you feel good, too! You’ll experience more positive thinking, higher levels of happiness, reduced stress, and decreased negativity. Studies have found that altruism links closely to joy. Regular volunteers are likely to feel happier overall!

But what do positive emotions have to do with inner growth? Well, the human brain learns best when it is at peace. Happiness and positivity bring the mental wellness you need to be at your best for learning, growing, and reflecting. Research has also found other relevant benefits, such as:

· Improved Creativity

Being happier can make you more creative, say studies, as your brain has more space and capacity to brainstorm. This allows for unique and exciting approaches to different problems, which can also help decision-making. These factors combined contribute to the ability to better reflect on situations and events for continual personal improvement.

· More Societal Contribution

According to research, happier people are more likely to contribute to society positively. While improved citizenship doesn’t always contribute to personal growth, you can’t deny that they’re often connected. Being a better person to those around you and helping society to progress can impart valuable lessons. Besides, when was the last time you looked at someone doing good for society and didn’t admire the person they’d become?

· Less Risky Behavior

A little bit of risk can be fine, and it can even be necessary for growth. But there’s a difference between calculated risk as measured by your decision-making skills and plain risk-taking behavior. The latter can lead to all sorts of dangerous decisions. If you want to grow as a person, mitigating impulses to take unnecessary and questionable risks is essential. Happiness decreases the frequency of these kinds of actions, say studies. This awareness gives you the chance to stay safe, be more thoughtful, and learn with wisdom.

· Better Financial Health

Research indicates that happiness can lead to wiser financial decisions and fewer frivolous expenses. While not necessarily directly related to inner growth, having a secure financial situation can still be necessary for your journey. If you’re preoccupied with money-related stressors, you can’t strictly focus on your personal development. Plus, financial stability helps invest in your growth. You might want to do so via classes, programs, therapy, or other endeavors, all of which cost money!

3. You Fuel Inner Growth By Building Self-Efficacy

When you perform acts of kindness, you get to witness how much power your actions hold. Something that seems small and simple to you can have such a vast and notable effect on those you help. There’s so much strength and confidence that can be built from owning and understanding that power. If small acts that you can do easily do so much, what about big gestures that you put effort behind?

Self-efficacy, which stems from self-confidence, refers to the belief that you can perform various tasks. Acts of kindness can help improve that trait by showing you what you’re able to do with seemingly innocuous behaviors. Experts have long believed that this trait is a significant predictor of success. This outcome happens because self-efficacy:

Encourages you to set higher goals
Makes you expect and visualize success
Helps you regulate negative emotions
Reduces the chance of your giving up
Lets you take reasonable risks
Maintains your motivation

While these reasons can all refer to more material success, they can also refer to personal growth. When you believe you’re capable of significant self-improvement, you’re more likely to hold yourself to a higher standard. This allows you to grow at a stronger and more powerful rate, all thanks to believing in yourself!

Growing as a person brings you several steps closer to your life goals and requires a similar commitment to achieve. So don’t forget that personal growth can be a success that you aim for in life!

4. You Fuel Inner Growth Through Extra Social Interaction

When you help other people, you actively spend time with or around them in some way. Your interactions with them make you feel less lonely and help you get the time to socialize. Studies have found that acts of kindness, such as volunteering contribute to a sense of belonging and better social activity.

Choosing acts of kindness that allow for direct interaction with positive people is ideal for inner growth. This is because of the following reasons:

· You’ll Learn From Other People’s Kindness

When you’re around other people who are kind and cheerful, you get to learn from them. This is a familiar concept of social and psychodynamic psychology. Both schools of thought indicate that you pick up information from those around you, developing a subconscious set of beliefs from these tidbits. Essentially, being around good people increases the likelihood that you’ll be good, too. You’ll see them grow and fuel your inner growth, too.

· You’ll Make Better Choices

When you’re around other people, you subconsciously expect them to hold you accountable to some degree. This means that you’ll be more motivated to make good choices and prove yourself to them. This is why group efforts are often more effective than solo ones, as research shows! When you’re all working together to be kind and to learn and grow, you’ll motivate each other to do so.

· It’s Just How We’re Wired

Human beings are social creatures by nature. From the get-go, human beings have formed communities to foster and support each other. It is in these communities that people grow, learn, and are exposed to things that help them in life. Simply put, people are not meant to be isolated. They know best around others. That’s just how it is!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways An Act Of Kindness Can Help Fuel Inner Growth

Compassion is a valuable and beautiful trait that is selfless, loving, and caring. When you are kind, you’re able to help those around you, and you often feel good about yourself after the fact. The additional bonus to your inner growth is even more of a reward, even when you reach the point where you find kindness itself to be its reward!

Do you worry that you might not be that kind of a person? Don’t worry! Compassion can be learned and developed over time. Better yet, it’s something that breeds itself. The kinder you are, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the more you want to be kind. If you dedicate yourself to learning to be compassionate, you can certainly achieve that goal. One great way to start is with acts of kindness.

There are many ways that you can perform acts of kindness. You can give compliments to loved ones and friends. You can volunteer or donate to a charity. Or you can take on extra tasks at home to help those you live with. Perhaps you can offer someone a kind, listening ear or offer help to an acquaintance. All of these simple acts can be done at home or close to home, making kindness incredibly accessible to all! You can start today and hone your traits in no time!

Remember, of course, that you have to be kind to yourself, too. While acts of kindness are lovely, you shouldn’t be performing them to the point where you harm yourself.

One final thing to consider when you’re trying to fuel inner growth. Getting burned out on compassion isn’t something that you’ll want to happen to you. To maintain positive thinking about kindness and take care of yourself, also remember to direct your compassion inward!

Therapists Explain 10 Ways to Reconcile a Strained Relationship

May 27, 2022 by Chris Butler

Some relationships are tumultuous. Some people go together like oil and water, and whenever they’re in the same vicinity, it’s nothing but trouble. Of course, having peace in your life doesn’t mean that there won’t be any trouble or tension, but it’s learning how to handle this conflict so that you can coexist.

Do you have someone in your life that you’re constantly bickering with over trivial things, and you need to reconcile? For example, you may have issues with miscommunication and arguments with an exchange of harsh words. If you examine this relationship, the past has a strong bearing on the present.

Sadly, these connections can kill you from the inside out, and you may need a resolution to get past these deep hurts. For example, do you have a strained relationship with your mother, father, spouse, or relative? You see them at family functions, but you don’t know how to coexist with them peacefully.

While you may never have the relationship you want, you can undoubtedly have a workable connection. You can and should get to a place where you can peacefully coexist and tell each other sentiments like “I love you.”

Ten Actionable Ways to Reconcile A Troubled Relationship

Mending fences isn’t something that comes easy. It’s one of the hardest things to do as it involves heart matters. First, you must realize that not all relationships can and should be reconciled, and you need to be okay with that.

It takes courage and strength to get where you want to be. Here are a few steps that can help your troubled relationship change course.

1. Be Honest About the Situation

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., points out that honesty is the most significant factor that can “make or break” a relationship.

Many times, you have a false sense of reality regarding your relationships. Don’t sweep your feelings under the rug and ignore things that have happened; you need to get some things out in the open. If you have unrealistic expectations, you’re in for a major letdown.

It’s time to confront all the uneasiness you feel inside; by doing this, you will have a great sense of self-control. The critical point is to control the situation and not let the problem control you.

2. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

If you want a resolution and to reconcile the situation, you must be assertive. Tell the person how this wedge between you is troubling you, and realize you’re making a huge first step. Now, you will need to swallow a bit of your pride and trust that things will be okay.

There are no promises that the other party will be receptive to your request, but you must make a move in faith. Don’t feel that you’re weak by showing someone that you want to fix things. On the contrary, you’re showing tremendous courage.

Yolanda Hall Asbell, a clinical mental health counselor, advises that stepping out of your comfort zone is critical to shaking off mental health impacts in all areas of your life. She said the following:

“Mental health is important just like your physical health. The brain makes the body function. If the brain is not healthy, neither is anything else.”

3. Approach with Peace and Honesty

Before you confront anyone, you need to get your attitude in check. You need to make sure your motives are pure, and you’re coming from a place of peace and honesty. Don’t think that this will be easy for one minute, but your hard work will pay off.

Be realistic and know that the other party might be slightly defensive, but slight resistance is average when hard feelings are in the way. You need to be transparent and let them see how painful this situation is for you, but you also need to show love, compassion, and an attitude of willingness to work it out.

4. Listen and Communicate

You’re putting your heart on the line and telling this person your deepest hurts and regrets. If things go as planned, they may open to you as well. Give them a chance to speak, and don’t interrupt them.

No matter how hard it is to hear what they say, it would help if you listened intensely. The only way both of you will move past this place you’re in is by communicating. So grab some tissues because this isn’t an easy conversation.

Additionally, you may find that it takes several conversations to get your connection where it needs to be. Don’t be frustrated if you don’t seem to have anything resolved after one talk. When there are years of hurt and damage, it will not mend itself overnight.

The key is to listen to and consider each other’s feelings. There is a discreet way to get your point across. There’s no need to call names or put one another down, either.

5. Make A Deal

Relationships are about give and take. So, don’t feel bad if you must make a deal with the other person to ensure the relationship gets back on track. For instance, if you’re fighting with your mother-in-law, you can promise you won’t involve the children in their disputes.

Perhaps she’s upset because she feels you’ve kept the kids from her. So, this would be a situation where you two could strike a deal. When making agreements, you don’t need to sacrifice your values or beliefs to make them happy.

The point is that you both need this relationship to work for various reasons, so you each state what you need from the partnership and then agree on some issues. If you both don’t feel comfortable in the deals you’re making, then it won’t work.

6. Set Firm Boundaries

Why do people always view boundaries as bad things? According to the National Department of Health, boundaries are good for all relationships because they establish ground rules for you to understand. For example, if your spouse refuses to let your children go to your mother’s because they are upset with them, you need to establish some ground rules.

The children didn’t do anything to cause the rift in the relationship, nor should they be used as a bargaining chip in this feud. Don’t be afraid to write down your demands and draw a firm line in the sand for your limits. Always ensure people know where they stand with you.

7. Follow Through

All your compromises and plans are worthless if you don’t follow through with things. If you say you will do something, you need to do it. No one said the process would be easy, but it’s worth it to reconcile and have peace of mind.

Can you let go of the past, no matter how traumatizing it was for you? When you make promises, you need to honor your word. Follow-through will allow the other person to learn to trust again.

However, if you don’t stay true to what you say, you can hurt the relationship even further. Healing old wounds means stepping out of learned behaviors and establishing new ways to coexist in harmony.

8. Get Professional Help

There are many situations when you need to call in for professional help. Counselors can act as third-party mediators who can help to identify issues that might not be easily recognizable. In addition, they can help you find practical coping skills to bring resolution.

Since counselors are well trained in mediation, they know what usually works and what doesn’t. Therefore, it’s well worth the time and investment to have a third party help when the relationship is essential.

9. Leave the Past in The Past

Once you’ve moved on and are working on your relationship, it’s time to leave the past behind you. Every time you get frustrated, you may be inclined to bring up past situations. While you’re human and you can’t forget, you need to leave those old things buried.

Each time you bring up issues from the past, you’re only hindering your future. Plus, you can stir up those old feelings of resentment and anger, but no one wants to deal with all of that.

10. Accept What Is

Having a realistic outlook is essential. If you’ve tried everything you know to do and nothing is working, then realize it’s not on you. If the other party won’t reconcile with you, it’s on them.

If you’ve tried everything within your ability and failed, you should move on. Sometimes, it’s hard to move on from relatives, but severing ties may be the best way to heal.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Reconcile a Strained Relationship

Relationships take lots of work, and they can be relentlessly brutal. Even the best ones go through times when things are troublesome. If you’re serious about working things out with someone you love, you must take the proper steps to find healing and reconcile.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth the effort you put into it. Sometimes, these relationships are significant to you, like your parents or a sibling. These people require more leniency because of the bond that is there.

You learn to make allowances for your dad or mom because they gave your life and have been there for you. Of course, it doesn’t mean that things will magically heal with one conversation, but you can get on a better path toward understanding one another.

How to Make Fudgy Brownies with Sweet Potatoes

May 27, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

When you’re having a bad day, nothing can lift your spirits quite like fudgy brownies. There’s a reason people reach for the chocolates when they’re feeling down – it literally makes you happier!

Studies have shown that chocolate decreases the stress hormone cortisol while increasing feel-good endorphins in the brain.

Chocolate also contains powerful antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals to boost your health. A 28g serving of chocolate containing 70-85% cacao has:

3g dietary fiber (12% DV)
341mg Omega-6 fatty acids; 9.5mg Omega-3
3mg iron (19% DV)
8mg magnesium (16% DV)
5mg copper (25% DV)
5mg manganese (27% DV)

As you can see, chocolate is a powerhouse of nutrients! Since it comes from a plant, it’s basically a salad, right?! So, you can eat these fudgy brownies without feeling guilty about them. Not to mention, the recipe also calls for sweet potatoes, which have a ton of health benefits too. 100g of cooked sweet potato contains:

90 calories
3g fiber
120% Vitamin A (961 μg)
22% Vitamin B6 (0.29mg)
24% Vitamin C (19.6mg)
24% manganese (0.5mg)
10% potassium (475mg)

Now that we’ve covered the health benefits of these delicious brownies, we’ll share the recipe with you below. We hope you enjoy this guilt-free dessert!

How to make fudgy brownies with sweet potatoes

Are you ready to bake? Let’s get to it.

Kitchen supplies you need:

Spatula
Aluminum foil
Large baking sheet
Small baking pan
Small bowl
Potato masher
Large pot
Large mixing bowl
Spoon
Whisk
Parchment paper
Knife

Ingredients:

2 sweet potatoes (which will yield 1 cup of puree)
1/2 cup unsweetened dark chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp coconut oil
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1 egg and 1 egg yolk
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup melted chocolate

Directions for the fudgy brownies:

To make these decadent fudgy brownies, first, grab your sweet potatoes and some aluminum foil.
Wrap each one in a sheet of foil and place it on a large baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees F for one hour.
When they’ve cooled, peel the skins off and cube the potatoes. Mash them up in a small bowl using the potato masher.
Once they’re creamy and pureed, set aside.
Now, grab your large pot and the unsweetened chocolate chips. Measure 1/4 and pour into the pot.
Next, spoon in half a cup of peanut butter. Put the heat on medium-low, and mix with a spatula until thick and creamy.
When it’s thoroughly melted, place it in a large mixing bowl. Now, add 1/2 cup of the sweet potato puree. Blend with whisk until thoroughly combined.
Now add 2 tsp vanilla extract and 1 tbsp coconut oil. Use the whisk to blend together.
Next, pour in the coconut sugar, using the whisk once again to mix it up. Make sure there are no clumps of sugar left when you’re finished.
Then add the egg and egg yolk, also whisking until blended.
Add the all-purpose flour, cocoa powder, and salt, mixing them in with the spatula. Blend until you don’t see any flour residue in the bowl.
Finally, add the remaining 1/4 cup of chocolate chips. Mix them in and spoon the batter into your smaller baking pan. Make sure to line it with parchment paper first to avoid sticking. (Alternatively, you can spray cooking oil or butter onto the bottom and sides of the pan).
Shake the pan so the batter settles, then bake the fudgy brownies at 350 degrees F for 20 minutes.

Directions for the icing:

Melt 1 cup of chocolate chips. Add the remaining half cup of sweet potato puree and blend thoroughly with a spoon.
Spread your homemade frosting onto the brownies with the spoon, coating them evenly.

Now, slice up your fudgy brownies and enjoy this mouthwatering homemade treat!

Tips to make these top-notch fudgy brownies

Too gooey for your liking? No worries! Simply place the brownies in the fridge for 30 minutes to one hour so they harden a bit. It will also make the frosting more “fudge-like.”

If you’re not a fan of peanut butter, you can leave out this ingredient. It’s not necessary for the recipe, but we think it adds to the delicious factor! You can also use almond or other nut butters that you prefer.
If you’ve never tried brownies made with sweet potatoes, don’t worry – you won’t even taste the potatoes! They simply give the brownies a chewy, moist texture but won’t make them taste like vegetables. The potatoes also add to the sweetness of the recipe.
You may find you don’t even need coconut sugar! If you don’t have a huge sweet tooth, the potatoes may be all you need.
Want to save time? You can also microwave the sweet potatoes. Just wrap them in a damp paper towel and microwave for about six minutes each.
Have leftovers? (We won’t judge if you don’t!) They’ll keep for about 3-4 days in the fridge or in an airtight container in the freezer for around 2 months.
You can make these even more delicious by microwaving them before serving! Paired with vanilla ice cream, it will definitely hit the spot when you’re craving warm, gooey brownies!

Final thoughts on how to make these fudgy brownies with sweet potatoes

In the old days, brownie recipes using sweet potatoes were almost unheard of. Today, they’re a common substitute for eggs, although we used both in this recipe. If you’re going for a more cake-like brownie, you probably want to leave out the eggs and just use potatoes.

This recipe combines the best of both worlds – fudge and brownies – to create the ultimate chocolate heaven. It even has a chocolate frosting in case the chocolate chips and cocoa powder isn’t enough for you! Plenty of recipes out there don’t have nearly enough chocolate, so we decided to find a solution to that problem.

These fudgy brownies will surely satisfy your chocolate craving and give you a dose of happiness in the process. Enjoy!

20 Red Flags You’re Dating Someone Who Always Craves Attention

May 27, 2022 by Chris Butler

It’s not hard to spot a person who constantly craves attention. They usually make it obvious. However, it could be a bit harder to see through the feelings you have for that person when you’re dating someone.

If you suspect that your partner may have these issues, you may have come here for some answers. This article will tell you everything you need to know about why your partner may be craving attention and point out twenty red flags that let you know you’re dating an attention-seeker.

Why a Person Craves Attention

A person who displays this behavior usually craves attention. Do you have the time and energy to be in a relationship with this person?

Jealousy

Jealousy often gets a bad rap. However, according to an article published in Frontiers in Psychology in 2017, jealousy is the best way to find out what you value in life. Based on this idea, it’s plausible to think that jealousy is a healthy emotion that provides valuable insight into a person’s true desires.

With this being said, a person who seeks out attention due to jealousy simply may be using attention as a coping mechanism. It’s possible that they have these values that they aren’t even aware of and, even worse, don’t know how to get or achieve them. All that extra attention stimulates their reward center to make them feel better about what they can’t or don’t have.

Low self-esteem

Some people with low self-esteem clam up into a shell. Others seek to heighten their self-esteem through attention. Much like trying to solve loneliness with attention, trying to fix self-esteem issues doesn’t work. Indeed, it could make it worse if they get the wrong kind of attention.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

This disorder is a condition in which the person has a seriously distorted self-image. These people have little to no self-worth, and their esteem depends solely on other people’s approval.

A person with this disorder won’t just crave attention – they’ll thrive on it. It’s as if they have an overwhelming desire to be noticed. Many people with the disorder lead what looks to be perfect everyday social lives, but they can be highly manipulative in their attention-seeking behaviors.

If the person becomes aware of their disorder or becomes depressed, they can seek treatment through psychotherapy. In extreme cases, medication may be prescribed.

20 Signs That The Person You’re Dating Craves Attention

The reasons for attention-seeking in the previous section can give you a soft spot for a person dealing with this problem. It’s only natural that if you care about the person, you’ll want to help them. However, it can be very taxing on you to continue to date someone with this problem, especially if they refuse to get help. That’s why you need to recognize the signs before they drag you down. Here are 20 signs of someone who craves attention.

1. They’ll settle for any attention – whether it’s good or bad.

You may notice that your partner is okay with bad attention. In fact, if they see an opportunity for negative attention, they’ll take steps to take it rather than avoid it actively. To your partner, the only bad attention is no attention.

2. They fish for compliments.

Fishing for compliments seems harmless – until it becomes evident that the person is doing it on purpose. With someone who craves attention, they often fish, so it becomes obvious. They have no shame, unfortunately.

3. They dress inappropriately or in a provocative manner.

This stems from the person being okay with negative attention. Society places so much value on how a person dresses that one of the easiest ways to get attention is through clothing (or lack thereof).

4. They constantly seek approval or reassurance.

This is a big indicator and is the main symptom of histrionic personality disorder. Your partner may seem as if they cannot be comfortable or happy with their own opinions. In fact, they may go as far as doing things they dislike to get approval.

5. They rarely show concern for other people.

You may notice that your partner seems to be in their own sad, disapproving world. They are only concerned about their feelings, their problems, and gaining approval and acceptance. In their minds, they are the only ones with issues.

6. They provoke reactions.

For a person who craves attention desperately and will take any kind, the opportunity for a reaction for someone seems like free attention. They don’t consider the consequences of their actions which can often land them in hot water.

7. They instigate problems between others.

Just as they’ll provoke reactions concerning themselves, they’ll do the same to others. Please leave it to a person who craves attention to pour fuel on the fire. Unfortunately, they will feel no guilt afterward.

8. Their emotions may shift rapidly.

An attention-seeker is often not in control of their emotions. That is a part of what leads to their attention-seeking behavior in the first place. You may notice that they go through severe mood swings often.

9. They may seem fake when dealing with people.

As stated before, people who crave attention have no shame. Therefore, they don’t always care about appearing genuine in their quest for attention. All that matters to them is the result, not how they got there.

10. They can seem overly sensitive to criticism.

Just as compliments and attention can give them a boost, criticism completely crushes their world. It can be the slightest criticism, and they may completely overreact to it. They may also go out of their way to prove the person who gave the criticism wrong or get their approval.

11. They are vampires.

People who crave attention inadvertently drain people’s energy. They are constantly doing everything they can to be noticed, which can mean jumping in front of any attention coming your way. If you date a person like this, you’ll constantly be upstaged for everything in the relationship.

12. They exaggerate stories.

If a person is craving attention, they can’t just settle for an average story. The story must be the most interesting there ever was. They crave the awe that people have from hearing their tall tales. Even if others around them know they are exaggerating, they may still do it anyway.

13. They are always the victim no matter what.

This may seem narcissistic, but a person who is simply craving attention seeks out the sympathy that comes with being a victim rather than avoiding the blame like a narcissist. It may not even be their situation, but somehow they make themselves the victim.

14. They put their problems on everyone else.

Since an attention-seeker seems not to be aware that others have problems, it makes sense that they think it’s okay to put their problems on other people all the time. After all, getting help with problems is a form of attention.

15. They spin their lives as overly glamorous.

This advice goes along with them exaggerating stories. No one gives attention to average, so they’ll “glamorize” their lifestyle to get a reaction from people. They may be a name-dropper or talk about fabulous trips they’ve never taken.

16. They pretend they need help when they don’t.

An attention-seeker will pretend to be unskilled at something. They may pretend that they need help lifting something that they can lift easily. They’ll request tutoring for a subject that they’re excellent in. Unfortunately, they’ll downplay any of their skills for attention.

17. They are overly active on social media and doing anything for likes.

Social media makes it very easy to get approval. A person who craves attention thrives on social media. They do any and everything they can to get strangers to “like” them. They may keep up with their likes and social media status as if their life depended on it.

18. They tend to put others down often.

It’s not that the attention-seeker is trying to be a bully. This behavior stems from the attention-seeker thinking that they’ll make themselves look good if the other person looks terrible. For example, their outfit may be average. But if they make you think someone else’s outfit is worse, you’ll suddenly think the attention-seeker’s outfit is impressive compared to the other.

19. They are often loud for no reason.

One of the quickest ways to get attention is to be loud. People instantly snap their heads in the direction of the noise. People who seek attention may have an overly loud laugh, or they may raise their voices to make a point for no reason at all. They may also get loud to talk over people.

20. They may threaten suicide or self-harm for attention.

When someone threatens suicide, loved ones come running to their aide. Unfortunately, someone who craves attention will use this to their advantage. It’s a horrible thing to do, but they have no shame, as we’ve already established. Note: A suicide threat should NEVER be taken lightly, get this person help asap.

Final Thoughts on Identifying People Who Crave Attention

People who crave attention aren’t necessarily bad. There could be many reasons that they are the way they are – mental health issues, early childhood problems, low self-esteem, or more. In fact, it can be a combination of problems.

Even though they can be good people, being around a person who craves attention all the time can be draining. If it gets to the point that it creates a toxic relationship between the two of you, it may be time to go separate ways. Hopefully, you can help the person see the error of their ways and save your relationship before it gets to that point.

15 Ways to Send Positive Vibes to a Friend in Need

May 27, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Being a friend comes with significant responsibilities. There are times when your pal is on top of the mountain where the sun is shining bright, but other times they may be down in the valley where the only glimmer of hope is you. People often underestimate the power of kindness, and it’s one of the easiest ways for you to spread positive vibes to a friend in need. The best part – sending good vibes is easy and doesn’t have to cost you a dime.

Learning how to stay kind and cheerful when the whole world is in chaos is a real task, but you can do it. The best part about sharing kindness is that the Universe sees and will repay you with good karma. Can you remember the last time you went out of your way to send positive vibes to someone going through a rough time?

These random acts of kindness not only make them feel better, but it makes you feel good too. Plus, sympathy and doing good things towards others can really turn your day and mood around. How often has someone done something for you that turned a bad day into a good one?

Fifteen Ways To Send Positive Vibes to Those in Need

To help someone in need, you don’t have to make a grand gesture. Remember that some of the most meaningful actions are the small things that show you really care. If you want to spread positive vibes, here is a list of 15 things you can do to help someone.

1. Be There To Listen When Sending Good Vibes

People going through a rough time want someone to listen to them. They want to be heard and for someone to validate their feelings. One of the best things you can do is listen and let them know you’re there for them.

2. Share a Smile to Spread Positive Vibes

A smile doesn’t cost a cent, but it’s one of the most valuable things you can do. When you see a friend or coworker that’s down, look at them and give them a huge smile. You’re saying so much to this individual without opening your mouth.

Your smile may be what gets them through the day. Did you know there’s such a thing as smile therapy? It sounds strange, but Dr. Stephen Ghim is a dentist in the Charlotte, NC area. He discusses that a smile can improve your self-esteem, increase happiness, raise confidence, and make you more alert.

Smiles are also infectious, as it’s hard for you to look at someone and smile and they do not smile in return.

3. Bring Them a Flower Bouquet

Who doesn’t love a lovely arrangement of flowers? Flowers can brighten any space, even a hospital room. It’s fascinating that some people only give flowers when someone passes, as there are so many other occasions when it’s the perfect gesture.

Please don’t wait till someone leaves this earth to send them flowers. Start sending good vibes now…when they need them the most.

4. An Easy Way of Sending Good Vibes? Tell Someone To Have a Great Day

A word of encouragement is always welcomed. Telling your friend that you hope they have a good day can send positive vibes into the atmosphere.

5. Tell Them How Great They Look to Send Positive Vibes

When you don’t feel good, likely, you don’t feel like you look good either. Whatever blows life hands you are only complicated by your inability to sit in your room and cry all day. Life goes on, and you must get up and motivated.

Your friend may need the positive boost that telling them to look great does for their spirit. Have you ever told someone they looked awful or thought they were sick? It’s probably not long before they felt worse. The power of suggestion is compelling, so use it wisely.

6. Offer To Bring Hot Soup or Remedies if They’re Sick

If your friend is sick, why not offer to bring them something to make them feel better? Some honey to soothe a sore throat or some pineapple juice to help clear mucus might be just what they need. Maybe they would like something to eat without making it, and you can be a big help.

7. Hug Them (The Best Way to Send Positive Vibes)

Don’t ever underestimate the power of an embrace. Putting your arms around someone is very healing. According to Hilary Jacobs Hendel LCSW, her training to become a counselor and the mandates from the American Psychological Association state that you “do not touch.” However, she didn’t feel that was acceptable when her patients were hurting so badly.

She had one patient, Gretchen, that she wanted to try a therapeutic hug on. When the client stood in her office sobbing, Hendel felt it was inhuman not to offer her an embrace. She’s studied the power of hugs immensely and discovered that hugging someone can give comfort and emotional regulation.

Bodies react to increased energy, and it calms the nervous system. If your friend feels small and scared, your hug might be the healing balm they need.

8. Send a Silly Joke

Laughter is another thing that is just not done often enough. It would help if you smiled as it lifted your spirits. Send your friend a joke, funny meme, or some crazy story about your day. Chances are, you will have them smiling and feeling better by this kind gesture that sends positive vibes.

9. Offer To Run an Errands

Sometimes, it’s all you can do to lift your head off the pillow. No matter what your friend faces, they might not feel like going to the grocery store, paying the water bill, or taking out the trash. Offering to pitch in and help is greatly appreciated.

10. Reminisce With Them

Things won’t always look so bleak. Remind your friend of better days. Tell them stories of crazy things you did when you were younger or remind them of something that will make them smile. Getting their mind off their current situation will help them to get out of their funk.

11. Send Them a Card in the Mail to Spread Positivity

Sending a card in the mail is something that many folks don’t do anymore. With the advances in technology, people try to avoid the mail. However, it’s still exciting to think someone took time out of their day to send positive vibes through snail mail.

12. Go For a Drive With Your Favorite Tunes

Sometimes you need to remove yourself from a situation, even if it’s just for a little while. There’s something very therapeutic about driving around, windows down, and listening to good tunes. Why not get your friend out of the house and into the fresh air?

It might be better if you go away overnight or for the weekend. Who doesn’t need a good getaway on occasion?

13. Tell Them What You Admire About Them

If you want to send positive vibes and spread love and light, why not tell them something you admire about them. You can even send this message in a text or email. When people have a rough patch in life, they forget all the good things and focus on the negative. You can help them remember all the good qualities they have that make them so valuable.

14. Watch a Movie or TV Show With Them

Sometimes you don’t have to do or say anything, but being there for them matters most. Why not watch a television show or movie with someone lonely or struggling? Let them pick the show, and you be a warm body there when they need you.

15. Show Compassion When Sending Good Vibes

Remember to show compassion even if your friend is having a rough time because of something they did. Listen to them without judging, and don’t offer unsolicited advice. Being compassionate means you put your judgments aside and just be there, sending positive vibes and letting them know they’re not alone.

Final Thoughts on Ways To Send Positive Vibes to a Friend in Need

While your friend may be the one going through a tough time right now, one day, it will be you that needs someone to send positive vibes your way. Everyone has a karmic debt, which the Universe uses to pay you back for the things you’ve done. You want to make sure that you fill your bank of karma with good things.

You should never try sending good vibes with the thought of getting anything in return. But you should always do something like sending positive vibes in the hopes of helping someone. Never underestimate the power of an embrace, a kind word, an ear listening, and a gesture showing how much you care. Your friend needs you now, but it will be your turn one day.

15 Actions That Reveal A Fair Weather Friend

May 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

Having sociable and stable friendships is vital to your happiness. However, what if you have a friend showing signs that perhaps they’re more against you than for you? A good friend weathers many of life’s storms alongside you and remains close. But a fair weather friend bolts at the first chance they get.

A person who is for you will celebrate your victories, cry with you during times of sorrow, and be there when you need advice. A fair weather friend is someone who is there for you only when it’s convenient for them. Not every person can be elevated to the status of “best friend.”

However, you must be able to distinguish between someone who has your best interests at heart and someone toxic. There are too many people out there who want to be a friend with no strings attached, so never waste your time on those who use and abuse you. You deserve so much better.

Twelve Signs of a Fair Weather Friend

Everyone goes through bad times, and your friends have circumstances that might keep them tied up. Nevertheless, someone who is genuinely in your corner will stand beside you, encourage you, and wants to spend time together.

Here are fifteen signs that someone is a fair weather friend. If you notice any of these red flags, you should confront them. If they refuse to change, then set them free.

1. A Fair Weather Friend Is Two-Faced

You, no doubt, share secrets with your friend. However, what if this person tells someone else your private details? You don’t need someone in your life who isn’t trustworthy or who talks about you when you’re not around.

Your friend should build you up to others and never tear you down. If you’ve gotten word that a friend is two-faced, don’t trust them with anything. The last thing you want is your private information being spread on social media or around your city.

2. They Must Be the Center of Attention

There’s nothing more annoying than someone who won’t let you speak. They act like they can’t waste time hearing what you have to say, so they interject. You can’t get a word into any conversation because they won’t let you.

It’s pathetic when people do this as it shows no respect. Don’t let people talk over you; you must call them out the next time it happens. You deserve to speak your mind, so tell them you’re have something to say, and they need to be quiet until you’re finished.

3. A Fair Weather Friend Does Not Defend You

Part of being a friend is being eager to defend those you love. However, if you notice that your friend won’t stand up for you, they’re not a good friend. If they let people stand around and talk about you, then you need to set them free.

4. Cracks Jokes at Your Expense

Have you ever been with a group of people, and your friend cracks a joke at your expense? It’s terrible to realize that someone you thought was in your corner is tearing you down. Someone who is a so-called friend will never belittle or embarrass you.

5. They’re Never Present in the Moment

With technological advances comes all sorts of devices that are time wasters and make people more antisocial. Have you ever been out with a friend who can’t put their phone down long enough to engage in conversation? Maybe they’re scrolling social media or texting other friends.

They’re saying loud and clear that you’re not worth their time, and they have much better things to do than talk to you. Don’t let them treat you this way; tell them how rude this behavior is and that you want and deserve their full attention.

6. Fair Weather Friends Never Encourage or Celebrate With You

If you get a job promotion at work or something else in your life goes excellent, they won’t praise you or pat you on the back. Rather, they will brush over this event like it never happened. The problem is that the fair-weather friend may have narcissistic tendencies.

According to the National Library of Medicine, someone with a narcissistic personality disorder lacks empathy. They also want all the attention to be on themselves. They don’t want to pat you on the back because something great happened to you and not them.

7. They Discourage You From Potentially Good Things

Whenever you need to make decisions in life or are afraid to try new things, your friends give you that gentle nudge. Everyone needs someone in their corner cheering them on to step outside their comfort zone. However, a fair weather friend will discourage you from taking any risks.

No, they’re not scared you will fail, but they’re frightened you will succeed. See, the fair weather friend doesn’t want you to do better than them, and they would rather keep you where you are than to see you one-up them.

8. Fair Weather Friends Knock You Down

The toxic friend can’t stand it if you’re having a good day. They will say or do something to make you feel bad so that they can have someone to enjoy their misery within life. Do you need someone like this as a friend?

9. They’re Unreliable

If you need help, they’re nowhere to be found. However, if they need assistance, then you better clear your schedule for their needs. If you make plans with them, they will be late or ghost you.

10. Their Promises Are Fake

If your “so-called” friend agrees to go somewhere, pay back the money they borrowed, or do something special, they won’t follow through. This person is known for making grand promises but never producing anything. They break more promises than they keep, and you can tell they don’t honestly care about you.

11. A Fair Weather Friend Never Says They’re Sorry

The words “I’m sorry” will never come out of their mouth. They have such an inflated view of themselves that they don’t believe they should ever apologize. A fair weather friend will never admit they are wrong. Moreover, they refuse to acknowledge the error of their ways.

They will turn it around on you even if you give them solid proof. This is another sign of a person with a narcissistic or selfish personality. Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., recently wrote an article on understanding narcissism. She writes that people can be divided into three categories: givers, takers, and controllers. The narcissists are in the taker and controller categories. You can’t be friends with someone selfish as friendships are about give and take.

12. They Steal Your Limelight

The fair weather friend cannot stand the thought of you being the center of attention. If they feel like you’re stealing their thunder, then they will do anything in their power to take the attention from you.

13. Calls or Texts Are Never Returned

They only want to engage with you when they need something, so don’t count on them to answer phone calls or texts. It can be days or even weeks before they get back to you. If your messages aren’t significant enough to even be acknowledged, do you need this person in your life?

14. Belittling Your Feelings Is Commonplace

Your feelings are significant; a good friend would never disrespect or belittle them. When a person doesn’t care about you, they have no problem putting you down. A true friend is there for you when the going gets tough, and this person doesn’t deserve you.

15. A Fair Weather Friend Will Monopolize Your Time

Another sign of toxic friendships is that they monopolize your time. They want your full attention if you’re at a party or family outing with them. They get mad if you talk or make plans with someone else, as they think you can’t have any friendships but theirs.

Final Thoughts on the Fair Weather Friend

Do you have any friends that have the characteristics listed above? It’s normal for people to display some of these habits when they’re going through something rough, but if this is a common occurrence for this individual, then it’s an issue. It’s possible your friend is not aware of how they treat you, and you need to remind them what you expect from a friendship.

If they’re unwilling to change or don’t validate your concerns, it’s time to cut the ties. Do you need someone in your life who isn’t cheering you on, isn’t there for you when you need them, and isn’t willing to drop everything when you’re in trouble? Wave goodbye to the fair-weather friends as you don’t need the drama.

Additionally, so many good and decent people will be the friend you need. It would help if you didn’t waste your time on people who will do nothing but bring you down.

12 Questions to Ask Your Crush to See If They’re Available for Love

May 26, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Having a crush on someone is an exciting experience, but you likely have many questions. First, you must find out if an interesting prospective partner is available for a relationship. Being available could involve knowing if they are already in a relationship or if anything else is preventing it.

Sometimes, your crush might be unavailable, but not because they are in a relationship. Work commitments or simply not wanting a relationship can both prevent their availability, too. In this situation, you can decide if you want to keep trying anyway, but maybe it isn’t worth it to you.

These subtle ways to ask this intriguing individual if they are available can open up a line of conversation, too. Most importantly, though, you can find out if you are wasting your time. If they are open to a relationship, you will know that it is worth pursuing a relationship.

Finding out if your love interest is available early on can save you from embarrassment and disappointment. Plus, it can lead to a line of discussion that allows you to ask them on a date. The sooner you find out the romantic availability of your crush, the sooner you can move forward on forming a relationship.

Twelve Questions to Ask Your Crush to Find Out if They’re Available for Love

1. What are your biggest goals for the next year?

Without making it sound like a job interview, find out what your crush’s goals are for the year. Knowing their plans and the situation they see themselves in can help you decide if there is room for you in their life.

2. What do you like to do for fun or to relax?

When you are just getting to know your love interest, you probably don’t know what they like to do. This question is a good way to start a conversation and get some background information. If your crush is unavailable, this is normally when that information will become clear.

Your crush will either mention that they are in a relationship, or they won’t talk about a significant other at all. Or, your crush might start talking about things that make it clear they aren’t ready for a relationship at this point in their life.

3. How did you spend the weekend?

Asking how your love interest spent their weekend is the perfect way to find out if they are available. If they spent time with a partner, they’d likely mention them in the conversation. Plus, you can find out if they live a lifestyle that has space for a romantic relationship.

If they are a workaholic and work on the weekends and the weekdays, you must consider whether that is an option for you. The small details of your crush’s weekend can tell you so much about their availability.

4. Do you think a relationship is in your near future?

While you should generally avoid yes or no questions, this one is essential. If they can’t see themselves being open to a relationship, then you know right away that they are unavailable. It will help you save time, energy, and negative feelings along the way.

Your crush might only want a friendship right now, and forcing more won’t go well. So, if that isn’t something you can settle for, you must decide what to do. This simple question can give you all of the answers you need.

5. What are your plans for the holiday?

There is always a holiday coming up, even if it is still a few weeks out. If your crush is in a relationship already, they will likely have plans with their partner for the upcoming event. So, if they don’t mention plans with someone special, they might be available for love.

6. Why did your last relationship end?

Asking a question about their last relationship will mention if they are in a current relationship. Getting the basics out of the way in this regard is always essential when determining if your crush is available.

Even better, though, the answer to this question can help you figure out how your crush handles relationships. You can likely find out when the relationship ended, too. Knowing when it ended will help you nail down a timeline to figure out if they had time to get over their ex.

Then, when you find out why the relationship ended, you can gather much-needed insight. You can find out how your crush refers to their exes, and you will likely see any lingering hints of anger or bitterness. These small details will help you figure out their emotional availability.

This question will also likely reveal any negative aspects of your crush’s dating history. If their relationships ended for reasons that raise a red flag, make a mental note to think that over later.

7. How has your dating search been going?

When you ask how their search has been going, they’ll likely open up about their thoughts on the topic. They might be unavailable if they’ve stopped looking because they aren’t interested. Likewise, if they’ve already found someone, they’ll let you know that, too.

This question is an easy way to get the conversation started. After they answer, you can ask some follow-up questions to get any other information you want. This conversation is perfect for finding out the romantic availability of your crush.

Another reason this is a great question to ask is you can find out how they handle their relationships. If you hear that they are pursuing multiple partners at once during their search, you might decide that competing isn’t what you had in mind.

8. Do you want to come with me to an event this weekend?

If you’re comfortable asking, this question is perfect if you have an upcoming event. First of all, it’s direct and could potentially get you precisely what you want. When it comes to finding out the romantic availability of your crush, though, it’s even better.

Depending on the event, it could require you to dress up. If that is the case, people will assume that the person you brought is your date. Your crush will realize this, so if they agree to come, it is a good sign that they are available.

9. Did you come here with someone?

Asking this question can quickly let you know if your crush might be single. If you’re at an event that many people bring a date to and you see them alone, use it as an opportunity to find out if they’re available. By asking if they came with anyone, they have a chance to tell you if they’re seeing someone.

10. Why are you still single?

Used in the correct context, this question can be a way to find out if someone is romantically open. They can either explain the problems going wrong in their dating life or say they aren’t looking for anyone right now. Either way, you can get the information that you need.

11. I didn’t recognize the person you were with when I saw you the other day. Is it your partner?

Casually ask this question the next time you see your crush if you saw them out with someone. It will clear the air on their availability while making it look like you’re just curious. Your crush will either tell you about their partner or explain that the person was just a friend.

12. Did you celebrate with your partner?

If your crush just had a birthday, got a promotion, or had another event that deserves celebration, this is the perfect question. This question is your crush’s chance to say whether or not they are already romantically involved. Plus, they will tell you who they celebrated with, giving insight into who they are closest to.

If your crush says they didn’t celebrate at all, it opens up another line of discussion. You could always suggest that you help that special person celebrate and make a plan to do something fun together.

Final Thoughts on Things to Ask Your Crush to See If They’re Available for Love

As you experience the excitement of having a crush, use these questions to gather information. You can find out if they are romantically available while getting to know them better at the same time. The questions are subtle and casual enough that you won’t have to be embarrassed by the answer.

The sooner you find out if your love interest is available, the better things will work out. You won’t become as emotionally involved if you know they are unavailable ahead of time. Plus, if they are open, you can spend more time working on pursuing the relationship.

The best-case scenario from this line of questioning is that you land a date with your crush. Otherwise, at least you will know an essential thing there is to know at this point. If you didn’t know how to ask, these questions would help you get the answers you need.

12 Behaviors Empathetic People Display Often

May 26, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Have you ever experienced loss or trauma, and somebody told you that they feel for you? Although most people can relate to the shared human condition, some have a natural gift for empathy. If you have some of the traits of the most empathetic people, you understand well.

Sympathy vs. Empathy

It’s a common mistake to use these connecting emotions interchangeably. However, they aren’t because one involves a more profound emotional attachment. You can be sympathetic to another’s burdens while not being empathetic.

An article published by the American Psychological Association explains that these emotions entail different psychological processes. According to the report, sympathy involves a heightened awareness of another person’s pain, while empathy seeks to understand those subjective feelings. They have also been used differently throughout history.

For example, your friend could be grieving the death of a pet, and you feel bad for them. In response to your sympathy, you tell them that you’re sorry for their loss and you’re there for them. It’s the kind thing to do for anyone who has experienced a loss or is struggling with a problem.

Although you’ve expressed your sympathy, you can’t have genuine empathy for your friend’s situation unless you’ve experienced a similar loss. Empathetic people seek to share the pain with their friends because they can relate. It’s not saying, “I know how you feel,” but rather, you’re a loving presence.

Psychologists define an empath as a person who is so connected to others that they absorb the same feelings, often at their own expense. These most empathetic people tend to be emotionally intelligent and highly intuitive.

Some empaths have explained their personality as being emotional sponges. They instantly connect with other people’s feelings and share in their pain. Such empathy often leaves them exhausted and emotionally drained.

Behaviors of the Most Empathetic People

Would you describe yourself as a person who can display empathy? Maybe it envelopes your life to the point of being an empath. Here are 12 behaviors of the most empathetic people to consider.

1. The Most Empathetic People Are Highly Sensitive

Some people can turn their emotions on and off like a light switch. While they can show empathy for others, they know how to draw healthy boundaries for their own sake. However, many most empathetic people are so sensitive to the emotional atmosphere that they’re in sympathetic overdrive.

Perhaps you’ve had people tell you that you’re highly sensitive or even too emotional. Empaths make the best friends lean on during times of trouble. However, their heightened sensitivity can also make them easily offend or upset.

2. Empathetic People Are Introverted

A strongly empathetic person would be most comfortable in a crowd. They are more approachable and easier to start a conversation. However, most empathetic people avoid the limelight and retreat to a personal haven.

Being in many people or even a tiny get-together may overwhelm empaths. All the individual emotions become a tidal wave for their sensitive soul to absorb. So, they do best by sharing experiences on a one-on-one basis.

3. Most Empathetic People Experience Heightened Intuition

According to an article published by the Association for Psychological Science, intuition can make successful decisions without relying on analytical thought. The article shares a study by the University of New South Wales which suggests that unconscious information from your body and brain may help you make better decisions in life.

While many people occasionally use their intuition, the most empathetic people use it as their life’s compass. They aren’t afraid to trust their gut feelings about others and situations. They’ve learned to develop self-awareness and are usually open to their inner voice.

4. Empathetic People Thrive in a Natural Environment

Empaths are at their best when communing with nature. They are often smothered by the bustles of the concrete jungle and prefer the great outdoors. These sensitive souls feel an innate connection with plants and animals and thrive in any nature-oriented career. They have a passion for the environment and are unique conservationists.

5. Empathetic People Have Heightened Senses

An empathetic person not only has a heightened sense of intuition, but their other five senses are usually on the same level. These people are often troubled by too much light or noise. They can also have a keen sense of hearing, taste, and smell.

These hyper senses can make being in a crowd miserable for them. Everyone talking at once, the laughter, clatter, and bright lights can send them to a hasty retreat. However, this condition serves them well as they enjoy the outdoors and their private sanctuary.

6. Most Empathetic People Crave Solitude

If you’re among the most empathetic people, you know how healing solitude can be for your entire being. After absorbing the emotional waves of others throughout the day, empaths need time to recharge alone in their sacred space. Some find comfort in meditation, journaling, and gentle stretching exercises.

This longing for solitude often makes empathetic people more independent. They usually like to do things their way in their own time. These people are often in artistic and other creative fields.

During these refreshing times, empaths reflect on their lives and discover what no longer works for them. They discard these and other toxic feelings that people have stuck on them. The only caveat is not to be so isolated that they lose human connections.

7. Intimate Relationships Can Challenge an Empathetic Person

Those with an empathetic partner are blessed with someone in tune with their feelings. Unfortunately, intimate relationships can be difficult for empaths because they don’t want to lose themselves in the tangle of emotions. They may remain emotionally distant to protect themselves.

8. Empaths Are Good Listeners

Anyone can hear you say and nod absently, silently constructing what they’ll say next. However, empathetic people easily connect in conversation and are active listeners. They instinctively mirror your emotions and use deceptive body language.

These empaths are the ones you want in your corner when you need a shoulder for crying. They’ll listen without interrupting and won’t pass judgment on what they hear. Plus, they cherish friendship and will keep your conversations in the strictest of confidence.

9. Empaths Embrace Spirituality

It’s not unusual for people to equate spirituality with religion. The fact is that you can be a spiritual person with no faith. The most empathetic people embrace spirituality as part of their triune being of body, mind, and spirit.

While they may not subscribe to any deities, sacred writings, or tradition, they are often in touch with the Universe. They feel the pain and injustices in the world and search for ways to make a difference in their community. Empaths usually tolerate other beliefs and seek to find common ground with others.

10. Most Empathetic People Realize That They Can Attract Toxic People

One of the downsides of being an empath is that you are easily drawn into people’s emotional turmoil. It becomes the perfect storm with the person acting as an emotional vampire, and it drains the empath of their time, resources, and energy. The empath doesn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings, so they are often walked on like a welcome mat.

When empathetic people know this pitfall, they can avoid being toxic or overly needy. It’s fine to be a sounding board with a kind word, but you needn’t be a built-in therapist. Empaths may need outside help to break free of toxic relationships.

11. Empaths Are Born Helpers

Talk to almost anyone in a helping profession, and you’ll probably discover how empathetic they are. These people are often drawn to careers that allow them to reach out to those struggling or who need assistance. You’ll find them as teachers, medical professionals, counselors, and any work that involves listening and helping.

12. Empathetic People Are Different

It would be the empath if there were ever a square peg in a world of round holes. Since childhood, they often have felt like they never fit in with their family, friends, or the rest of the world. Until they find peace with their uniqueness and abilities, it can cause them much anguish and trouble in life.

When empathetic people find their niche, they become comfortable in their skin. They embrace their differences and use them as tools to learn and grow. Empaths are usually the best people to help others find their way.

Final Thoughts on the Most Empathetic People

Most empathetic people know that sharing in the pain of others is a valuable gift when used correctly. If you’ve noticed any of these twelve behaviors in your life, you’re probably an empath. As you love supporting others, don’t forget to be kind and support yourself.

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