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6 Things Women Do When They Want A Serious Relationship

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When you’re out playing the dating field, it’s difficult to tell who’s interested in you and who’s just “browsing” and having fun. If you’re on the prowl for someone to be in a serious relationship with, it can be unclear what everyone’s intentions are. No one wants to get too invested in or committed to someone who isn’t interested in returning that energy for the long-term.

Luckily, most people clearly show interest in someone when it’s more than just a casual fling. But, if you’re unsure whether the woman in your life is in it for the long haul, read on, and we’ll help you! Here are six things women do when they want a serious relationship.

Editorial note: This article addresses the behaviors of women seeking a serious relationship. We acknowledge that men might also crave a long-term love, and we address that in a separate article.

1 – You Become The  Go-To For a Woman Craving a Serious Relationship

People are pretty selective about who they go to when they’re most vulnerable. If you’ve been dating for a while, you can tell if a woman wants a serious relationship based on how much she seems to go to you. This isn’t just about her going to you when she’s in trouble. She may also:

  • Tell you about both good and bad news in life of her own volition, without prompting
  • Share random stories and bits of information that she picks up in her everyday life
  • Ask for your opinion or advice on different matters
  • Request emotional support when she needs a compassionate ear or shoulder
  • Spend her extra time with you and make herself available to you

This trust may not happen immediately, primarily if you’ve only known each other for a few weeks. It can take time for anyone to trust you enough to let you be their go-to! So once a woman does this, you know she’s serious about you and is willing to let her walls down.

serious relationship

2 – Women Who Want a Serious Relationship Might Make A Lot Of First Moves

Women have been conditioned not to make the first move when it comes to many things related to dating and romance. This is because of many factors, from simply following the grain of society to being cautious of one’s safety. The bottom line is that, while many women will make the first move, it’s hardly commonplace.

When a woman makes the first move, she may ask you out on dates, give you gifts, calls or text you first, and do other things that require her to take the initiative. This action often signifies that she wants a serious relationship with you, as she’s willing to be vulnerable and put herself out there for you.

Do note that this may not apply to all women – but, then again, there are exceptions to virtually every common stereotype. You should use context and critical thought to determine if a woman’s first moves mean something serious or not. For example, a woman who has never been one to take the initiative and suddenly starts taking the first step is likely to be serious about you.

3 – They Include You In Their Idea Of The Future

A serious relationship is long-term and will last long into the future. That’s why a woman who wants a serious relationship will have you in her mind as she makes her upcoming plans. This isn’t referring to the act of fantasizing about marrying you necessarily, though it can be. Primarily, it focuses on your inclusion in her vision of the future. She may:

  • Include you in her decision-making process, especially for big decisions
  • Plan future dates with you months in advance
  • Discuss upcoming plans in such a way that you’re a natural part of them
  • Talk about long-term personal goals and try to find ways to make them work with yours
  • Have conversations with you about her vision of her ideal relationship future, such as where she’d live with a partner, how many kids she wants (if any), and other similar details
  • Leave some of her things at your house or let you leave your things at hers
  • Use “we” instead of “I” when talking about future events
  • Talk about tackling her bucket list with you
  • Ask about your plans

A woman deciding to talk about the future with you doesn’t mean she wants to rush things. It just means that she sees you as a serious candidate for her long-term life and wants to make sure she’s planning accordingly. 

4 – They Work Both On Themselves And On The Long-Term Relationship

long-term

Relationships can bring out the best in us, but they can also bring out the worst. Many people’s old baggage, childhood patterns, and personal issues only arise in intimate settings. Some people may not realize their problems until they’re in a relationship where they notice these patterns in themselves!

This is why working on oneself is often a central part of healthy relationships. Studies have long shown the importance of continuing to grow together in a serious relationship, facilitating closer bonds and healthier partner dynamics. But just because we know this is important for partnerships, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. Plenty of people refuse to grow, and it can take a lot of motivation to work on oneself and to work on oneself in tandem with a partner.

Of course, no one should change themselves only for a relationship. But when a woman cares about you and wants a long-term commitment, she will dedicate herself more to her self-improvement and growth. The relationship will provide motivation and inspiration to help her propel herself forward.

Women who desire serious relationships want their partners to accept them as they are, but they also want to be their partners’ best versions of themselves. They will also work very hard to fix and manage the relationship’s hurdles and challenges. She will:

  • Communicate her concerns, desires, and problems directly in straightforward, honest ways
  • Ask for feedback and listen closely to her partner’s concerns and problems
  • Maintain healthy, open communication pathways so both partners can discuss the challenges they face
  • Learn to manage emotions and conflict in a proactive and positive way
  • Validate the concerns of her partner and become their safe space

Of course, this may not be easy, and she’ll make mistakes along the way! But what matters most is that, no matter what, when women want a serious relationship, they will commit to personal and cooperative growth for the partnership’s health and happiness. Remember that growing together matters most regarding relationships, as studies say!

5 – A Woman Who Wants A Long-Term Relationship Expects More From You

Women are often very aware that the people they’re interested in might only be interested in noncommittal flings, and they’re often wary about being used for intimacy or emotional labor. On the other hand, a woman who wants a serious relationship will usually hold you to a higher standard than she does other people.

It can feel a little unfair at first but think about it. This is someone who wants a long-term commitment with you. She needs to be sure you’re the kind of person who will step up to the plate and meet her halfway before she can be even more vulnerable. She may:

  • Have little to no tolerance for broken promises, especially without proper communication beforehand from you
  • Expect equal or equitable effort from you when it comes to the courting process
  • Be very upfront with her questions about your dating life
  • Want to know about your moral, political, and religious views
  • Want to know where you stand on specific social issues
  • Become upset (without lashing out) when you don’t meet bare minimum expectations of respect, decency, or commitment

Do note that these expectations should never be unreasonable. They ensure that you’ll treat her well, not that you’ll be a doormat! If you feel you’re never meeting her standards, it’s time to sit her down and discuss where things are going and what she’s looking for. 

6 – They Invest In You And A Long-Term Relationship

When people hear the word “investment,” their minds typically jump to money and financial decisions. While money can be involved in this case, that’s not true. When it comes to a serious relationship, people naturally invest time, effort, and other resources into their partnership and the other person. This is what experts refer to as the relationship investment model.

It’s indeed more “traditional” for men to invest more in relationships during the early courting stage. However, the fact is that people of all genders display their investments in their burgeoning partnerships in different ways. It’s a reliable predictor of levels of commitment. 

Think about it – would you spend your money, time, and effort bolstering it if you don’t see the potential for a serious relationship with someone, even on a non-romantic basis? A woman will not bother wasting these resources on you unless she wants a long-term commitment. Types of investment she may make include:

  • Spending her free time on calls, messages, dates, and meetings with the person she’s interested in
  • Driving out over long distances to meet the person she’s interested in
  • Going on regular dates where she pays part of or all of the expenses
  • Helping the person she’s interested in with various tasks, errands, and to-do items
  • Expressing her interest and love through time-consuming or well-planned means
  • Deleting dating apps and profiles and no longer seeking out other prospective partners, investing her interest entirely in the person she wants to date seriously without fear of missing out on someone better

Women who want long-term relationships often showcase these investments clearly, speaking through their actions and expended resources. The exact methods they use to display their affection may depend on their specific love language, so keep an eye on the woman you’re interested in to see if she’s communicating her affection uniquely.

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Final Thoughts on Some Things Women Do for a Serious Relationship

Women who want serious relationships can be subtle in showing you, but if you know what signs to watch, you’ll spot them a mile away. Still, if you’re unsure where you stand with a woman in your life, it may be a good idea to open a conversation with her about the direction of your relationship. That’s the best way to know how deep her interest in you goes!

10 Ways Worry Can Cause Insomnia (and How to Stop)

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Sleep loss because of worry is common. Besides losing sleep and exhausting you, worry kicks up your heart rate and makes your mind swirl with thoughts. Here are ways to beat insomnia if you struggle with sleep loss because of worry.

What’s the difference between worry and anxiety?

You probably didn’t worry too much about your life as a kid. But once you hit adulthood, worry is an unwelcome guest, especially at bedtime. Worry is feeling very concerned about problems or situations. You might worry about your health, family, job, or other things beyond your control.

Worry is:

  • Specific
  • Stress-induced
  • Your thoughts are non-stop
  • May prompt you to do something
  • Related to a genuine concern

Even though worry is specific, it may be out of your control to do anything. Worrying becomes a big problem when it causes sleep loss.

worry

Anxiety is a little different than worry. It lingers long and is hard to control. It may come out of nowhere, unrelated to anything around you. Anxiety also:

  • Triggers a physical response like a racing heart, headache, or nausea.
  • You have a perception of your circumstances related to your stress.
  • Interferes with your ability to work, school, or daily life
  • Usually need therapeutic intervention to overcome it

Ten Ways Worry Can Cause Sleep Loss and Ten Ways to Beat Insomnia

Now that you know the difference between anxiety and worry, let’s examine why you might be sleepless.

1. Worry follows you to bed

If you’re a worrier, there’s a good chance you don’t sleep well at night. This is because your worrisome daytime thoughts get carried over into the night. They keep you from falling into a deep sleep. If you do get to sleep, you may not stay asleep the entire night. Your worry and anxiety act like an alarm system, waking you up as if there is danger. Nighttime concerns feel more intense than daytime worries. Once your head touches the pillow, your brain magnifies the problems you may have thought about during the day. If your day was busy, you might not have dwelt on your worries too much, but you rehash those daytime worries at night.

2. Worry sets you up for negativity

Sometimes, going to bed is dreadful because you know you won’t be able to sleep. Bedtime becomes a negative experience that increases your worry and leads to anxiety. You may dread laying in bed trying to fall asleep, knowing you will be tired at work the next day.

3. Worry makes you fear focused

Worry is usually about bad things that could happen to you or a loved one. What you’re worried about hasn’t occurred, but the expectation of it happening makes you worry. The things that adults worry about the most are these:

  • Having a loved one die
  • The critical illness of someone you love
  • Fears about children
  • Fears about keeping their job
  • Not having enough money to retire from your career
  • Medical bills
  • Becoming critically ill
  • Terrorism
  • Government corruption
  • Civil unrest
  • Failing

4. Sleep reactivity and worry

Some people have what researchers call sleep reactivity. It’s a trait that disrupts your sleep, so you can’t fall asleep or stay asleep. People with high reactivity experience sleep loss, mainly when stressed or worried. Family history contributes to insomnia. Being female and living in a stressful environment also makes you prone to sleep reactivity.

5. Medical conditions can cause fear

If you worry long and hard enough, you may develop an anxiety disorder. Anxiety stresses your body, triggering the release of excessive cortisol. Loss of sleep combined with anxiety can lead to health problems. Conditions such as these:

  • Thyroid disease: Hypothyroidism where your metabolism slows
  • Addison’s disease
  • Heart disease: Anxiety disorders can cause rapid heart rate, palpitations, and chest pain.
  • Diabetes
  • Respiratory conditions such as asthma

6. Worry makes you eat more

When you’re sleep-deprived, you feel groggy and tired throughout your day. Studies show that a lack of sleep is associated with a higher risk of weight gain and obesity. Lack of sleep combined with tiredness makes you want to eat foods for comfort and to get more energy. It’s easy to load up on carbohydrates because they give you a short energy boost.

7. Worry shortens your sleep hours

Losing sleep because you’re worried deprives you of the recommended hours of sleep you need every night. When you don’t sleep for at least seven to eight hours each night, it may cause these unfavorable outcomes:

  • Not being able to do daily activities
  • Not being able to make decisions as well
  • Feel more stressed

8. Worry prevents sleep hormone production

Worry inhibits your body’s production of melatonin. When you’re worried, it activates your “fight” or “flight” responses and melatonin production. Melatonin is your body’s sleep hormone. When the production of melatonin slows down, you experience sleep loss.

9. Makes you feel more emotional

You’ll feel stressed when you worry. It keeps you awake. When you sleep poorly or if you’re overly tired from insomnia, it makes you more emotional. You don’t handle things well at work or at home like you usually would. You may get weepy or irritable over small things.

10. Wrong thinking about worry

Some people have a superstitious view of worry. They might think that the more they obsessively try to control the outcome, the less likely the wrong thing will happen. The fact is worry hurts your body. Left unchecked, it leads to anxiety and physical problems.

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10 Ways to Beat Insomnia

How do you release your fears and get a good night’s rest? Try these techniques.

1. Let go of things you cannot control

Of course, you can’t get rid of all your stress, but when worry creeps up, create strategies that help you let go of it.

  • Pray: Praying helps you relax. You can cast your worries of the day onto God. Ask him to help you find peace. Pray about your specific concern. When you give God your worries, it helps you feel less burdened and stressed.
  • Make a worry list: Writing down your worries won’t solve them, but just getting them on paper or your iPhone notes frees you from carrying the concerns.
  • Journal writing: Write about what’s worrying you. Then, write down things you’re grateful for despite the worries. It allows you to get perspective. Plus, writing down these thoughts is cathartic for your mind and heart.

2. Try magnesium

Take the magnesium supplement around thirty minutes before you go to bed. Only take the recommended dose to avoid stomach problems.

3. Take the correct amount of melatonin

Melatonin is a hormone. It helps you fall asleep and stay asleep. Be sure to follow the recommendations on the bottle. If you take too much melatonin, it’ll keep you awake. Generally, around five mg of melatonin is enough for an adult to get a good night’s sleep.

4. Read a not-so-interesting book

Reading is a natural way to relax before bed. Researchers say that reading fiction helps you fall asleep faster than non-fiction. Some of the best fiction books to put you to sleep are old classic authors that you probably read in your school days. So, pick up a book by one of these authors to see if it helps you beat your insomnia:

  • John Steinbeck
  • James Joyce
  • Ernest Hemingway
  • Thomas Hardy
  • William Faulkner
  • Joseph Conrad

5. Try breathing relaxation exercises

If you wake up at night unable to sleep, get up and go to another room. Try some breathing exercises to calm your stressful tension. Deep breathing will help clear your mind and help your body to relax. After this, go back to bed if you feel tired. If not, keep doing the relaxation breathing until you feel sleepy.

6. Listen to a story

Even though you’re an adult, listening to a bedtime story may be what you need to fall asleep at night. Sound interesting? Try falling asleep while listening to an audiobook, or check out some popular smartphone sleep apps.

7. Check your medication side effects

If you take medication regularly, check the list of side effects to see if insomnia is one of them. If you take medication, speak with your prescriber if you have insomnia. Your prescription might need to be adjusted.

  • Alpha-blockers: Alpha-blockers are a blood pressure medication. This medication decreases your REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Lack of REM sleep causes memory problems.
  • Beta-blockers: This blood pressure medication can wake you up at night. Beta-blockers prevent your body’s melatonin secretion, which helps you fall asleep and stay asleep.
  • Corticosteroid: This medication helps various physical problems but can overstimulate your mind to the point where you can’t sleep.
  • Levothyroxine: Levothyroxine treats your underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroidism). It controls your metabolism and energy levels. However, too much medication impacts your ability to sleep.

8. Trick your brain

If you’re having difficulty falling asleep, get up and try a relaxing activity like reading or gentle stretches. Go back to bed. You should drift off to sleep because you tricked your brain and broke the cycle.

9. Try calming essential oils

Essential oils help you relax and fall asleep at night. The best sleep-enhancing essential oils include:

  • Sandalwood oil: Sandalwood is one of the most effective sleep essential oils. It enhances peaceful sleep.
  • Lavender oil: Lavender infuses your mind and body with peacefulness.
  • Chamomile oil: Try diffusing chamomile essential oils in your bedroom before bedtime for a peaceful night’s sleep.

10. Paradoxical Intention

If you’re losing sleep regularly, this suggestion could be a great way to beat your insomnia. A study found that individuals with insomnia fell asleep quicker when told not to fall asleep. It’s called the Paradoxical Intention. When you can’t sleep, telling yourself you don’t need to sleep reduces your anxiety, so you eventually fall asleep.

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Final Thoughts on Sleep Loss Due to Anxiety or Worry

Sleep loss due to worry is a common problem. Worry makes your mind swirl, and your heart rate speeds up. It has adverse effects on how you view bedtime and harms your health. If you lose sleep every night because of worry, hopefully, these ten causes of insomnia and ways to beat them will help.

7 Things Insecure People Do to Reveal Themselves

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Insecurity is as ordinary as a summer cold. Self-doubt can come from a lifetime of things like abusive childhoods, toxic relationships, and being knocked down a few times. Insecure people often wander through life feeling saddled with all the regrets and hurts of yesterday, and these things damage their psyche.

Your history defines you, whether good or bad. If you were to look deep into your soul, you would see emotional scars from your life. Some folks rise above these problems, while others can’t get beyond them. Then there are the people who try to fake it but go home at night only to rehash everything that has gone so wrong.

When you’ve weathered storms in life, it’s only natural that it alters you. Once the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, there’s no way to go back and change because it wants to be more colorful. You’re stuck with the hand life deals you, and many people become negative and bitter because of it.

Folks with long histories and backstories are often very insecure. They feel inferior in life. The things that have happened to them have turned them into an entirely different person, and you can’t rewrite history. The good news is that you can change your course and alter the future.

Seven Signs of an Insecure Person

Dealing with someone with insecurity can be challenging, especially in a romantic relationship. Insecure people often have a negative attitude and are not always the most pleasant to be around. Here are some red flags that someone is insecure and how you should respond to their overbearing actions.

insecure people

1. Insecurity Shows Arrogance

You probably know someone arrogant. They like to brag about their accomplishments, act like they’re better than everyone else, and make themselves feel superior. Insecure people don’t see their shortcomings, so they come off as cruel and often selfish to others.

What’s going on is that this person had to develop a false sense of pride to get through life. Since they feel like no one else will praise them or their abilities, they make sure they pat themselves on the back. Buddhists describe egotism as one of the mind’s five poisons. They further state that most Abrahamic religions see this behavior as a sin.

How to Respond:

The arrogant person is insecure, but their negative attitude can be challenging to handle. It’s best to call out this childish behavior and put them in their place. Saying something like, “Be careful, as you might put your arm out of socket patting your own back,” can drive the point home.

2. An Insecure Person Has Angry and Rage Issues

Since insecure people have so much negativity inside, it’s no wonder they often have anger and rage issues. Since anger is the easiest emotion to show, you hope you’re not on the receiving end. These people are mad at the world for how their life has gone, and they’re even madder at themselves for not measuring up.

While none of this is true, it’s what they perceive. This person can become abusive in a relationship, as they allow their rage issues to dominate good judgment.

How to Respond:

Living with someone who has anger issues makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. If they ever hit you even one time, you let them know that will be the last time. It’s impossible to live with someone who has uncontrolled rage, and you let them know you won’t stand for it.

3. Insecurity Is Very Fearful

This individual seems to have it all together to the outside world. However, insecure people are often full of doubts on the inside. They’re wondering what happens if they fail or what to do if someone doesn’t like them. All the shameful secrets and problems from their past give them these doubts.

How to Respond:

Remind this person that their insecurity is only apparent in their mind. Remind them of all their successes in life, and be sure to tell them that people would like them more if they acted differently. Fear is a negative emotion that’s hard to overcome, but they can do it with love, support, and a good counselor.

4. Insecure People Are Often Defensive

When an individual feels that everyone around them is better, it’s natural to respond by trying to make themselves look better. The easiest way to make yourself feel superior is to point out someone else’s faults. These actions give the insecure person a false sense of dominance, which strokes their ego.

It’s common for this individual to overreact to authoritative figures negatively. They’re often quick to jump to their own defense, even for no reason.

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How to Respond:

Never allow a bully to put you down to puff themselves up. You can put them in their place by calling out exactly what they’re doing. Telling them that just because their insecure doesn’t give them a right to be mean is usually all you will need to say.

5. The Negativity Creates a “Quitter” Mentality

When a person suffers from insecurity, they often don’t finish things. They may start an assignment for work but cannot complete it. In most cases, they’re not good at relationships, jobs, or school.

This is because they’re afraid of being judged and not good enough. Social situations that bring scrutiny may cause intense anxiety. The fear of rejection is holding them back from a fulfilling life.

They don’t want anyone to see them as a fraud or an unlovable person. On the flip side, this person will do anything to gain the approval of others. They’re often the people who like to suck up to the boss. The need for validation drives this person, and their negative feelings on the inside are portrayed on the outside.

How to Respond:

If you’re in a relationship with someone with this level of insecurity, it’s challenging to know what to do. Please encourage them to keep going. Suggest counseling to help them work through all the past traumas. By developing a go-getter attitude instead of being a person that runs, they will notice a big difference in their esteem levels.

6. Must Be the Center of Attention

To cope with all the insecurities someone feels inside, they will either isolate themselves or become the center of attention. Some prefer to be alone because they feel safe when there’s nothing to prove. Others desire a social life and want to be around others, but they struggle to escape their thoughts.

The past rejections and hurts play like a record stuck and replaying the same thing repeatedly. When they put themselves in the limelight, it gives them the admiration they desire. This person might try to tell the funniest jokes, dress provocatively, or be the loudest at dinner.

They may try to impress in other ways by paying for everything or offering to do deeds for people they know they can’t possibly deliver.

How to Respond:

When you see someone going out of their way to fit in, you need to tell them it’s unnecessary. Remind this person that they don’t have to do anything special for people to like them. Running up debt and making promises to do things will only buy them the admiration they need for a tiny bit. They need to allow their true personality to develop so that others can like them for who they are in this life.

7. Insecurity Is Very Needy

Insecure people often feel inadequate, so they develop a needy persona to help them get treated the way they desire. This individual is high maintenance and always has more problems than a math book. In a relationship, they need your constant validation, and they’re likely to be jealous of any connections you have, including family.

Someone with a victim mentality often plays the martyr. Nothing is their fault, as they won’t take personal responsibility. The real issue is that they have unhealthy coping mechanisms due to their negative view of life.

The article further states that this person is a challenge to work with because for every positive thing someone suggests to help, they have 100 reasons it won’t work.

How to Respond:

A needy person can be a lot to handle, so give yourself space when you need it. Tell them that they’re acting a bit over-zealous and let them know what you won’t accept. In any relationship, you must tell people how you expect to be treated, especially if someone displays toxic characteristics.

insecure people

Final Thoughts on Insecure People

Two people can come through the same storm, and one can be dramatically impacted while the other comes out nearly unscathed. The one who is affected so dramatically is usually the one who will develop insecurities and fears. Getting to a healthy point is often a challenge.

Maybe you’re the insecure person, or it’s someone very close to you. You need to know that you can get through this with the proper help and learn to rewire your brain to think positively rather than negatively. Self-doubt can impact every facet of your life, but you don’t have to allow these insecurities to dominate anymore.

4 Reasons Some Couples Are Happier Sleeping in Separate Beds

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We’ve seen the trope repeatedly in movies and TV shows. A couple’s relationship is on the rocks, so they sleep in separate beds. The lack of closeness they share at night reflects the slow demise of their partnership. But for real-life couples, is that reality, or is the truth much less severe than fiction?

A vast majority of couples want to sleep in the same bed. It gives them a chance to cuddle, spend a little time together at the end of a busy day, and wake up next to each other. It’s intimate, affectionate, and comforting. But unfortunately, research shows that we often prioritize the social closeness of bed-sharing over general sleep comfort. 

However, the number of couples that will happily sleep separately is rising. Despite the stigma against it, these couples often claim to have perfectly healthy relationships. Some even say that sleeping apart has made their relationship better. Let’s also not forget that sleeping in two beds, placed next to each other and separated by a bedside table, was also reasonably common in decades past among married couples.

So, is it possible for couples to be healthy and happy despite sleeping in separate beds? As it turns out, the answer is yes! And after understanding why they do it, you may start to consider the benefits of following in their footsteps. Here are four reasons some couples are happier sleeping in separate beds.

1 – Conflicting Schedules

One of the biggest reasons couples sleep in separate beds is practical. Conflicting schedules, whether from different work schedules or due to different natural sleep patterns, can mean conflicting bedtimes and wake times. This conflict can mean:

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  •  An early-rising partner’s alarm wakes up a late-rising partner who only just crawled into bed three hours ago.
  • Very little time a couple spends in bed can be affectionate or intimate, as one partner is always asleep, making shared beds much less critical to a couple’s dynamic.
  • The noise of an awake partner moving in the bedroom can wake up their tired, sleeping partner and cause sleep disruption.
  • An awake partner may be unable to perform their regular waking routine that helps energize them because they’re worried about waking their sleeping partner.
  • One partner may encourage another to “catch up” on sleep, disrupting the other partner’s sleep patterns.

These reasons are why couples often choose to sleep separately. However, studies show that having completely different circadian rhythms can lead to increased conflict in bed-sharing partners.

Schedule Conflicts Cause These Issues for Couples

It’s worth noting that conflicting schedules can significantly negatively impact a relationship. This isn’t necessarily because of a lack of shared bedtimes, however. It’s because these disparities mean that couples:

  • Have less time to be together 
  • Don’t get to communicate as often
  • Tend to see each other only when one person is already tired from their day
  • Are unable to schedule dates and quality time
  • May not have enough energy for intimacy
  • Drift apart due to lack of shared time

As such, couples must continue working on carving out time for each other healthily despite conflicting schedules. When possible and not unfair, it’s also often advised that couples find a way to adjust their plans to allow for more shared time when both partners aren’t exhausted.

Some couples may choose to maintain closeness through conflicting schedules by sleeping in the same bed. However, this is not the only solution. If you face these struggles, you should talk to your partner about possible ways to keep your bond solid and affectionate despite conflicting schedules.

2 – Sleep Disruptions Cause Couples To Sleep In Separate Beds

Did you know that research shows that a partner can account for a whopping 50% of nightly sleeping disruptions when you share a bed? When you sleep with a partner, they can disrupt your sleep in the following ways:

Snoring and Other Sleep Noise

Snoring is a prime reason that many couples choose to sleep separately. Uniform, regular snoring is typically not a problem, but few people snore so “neatly.” Most will emit loud, sudden, and irregular noises when snore, disrupting a partner’s deep sleep and waking them up. The same goes for sleep talking, gnashing or grinding teeth, and general loud noises.

Movement

You may not think someone moving around will disrupt sleep, but the reality is that it certainly can. A partner may toss and turn, bump into you, and even accidentally punch or kick you in their sleep. Worse still, they may have restless leg syndrome! To some degree, a firmer mattress can help to prevent excessive movement-related disruptions. But no bed will help if your partner keeps kicking or shoving you while trying to sleep!

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Temperature

Some people need a pleasant, cool environment, and having another person in bed raises the temperature. However, if one partner is the type to emit body heat, they will not wake up sweating multiple times per night. The same goes for sleeping with someone who tends to steal the blanket, leaving the other shivering in the middle of the night!

Space-Stealing

It’s not unusual for someone to move around in bed and inadvertently squeeze their partner into a corner. A larger bed can fix this, but some couples still prefer sleeping separately, so they have as much space to themselves as they want.

Disrupted sleep has numerous effects on everyday life, causing fatigue, lack of focus, irritability, and poor lifestyle decisions. As a result, couples may have to make the mature decision to sleep apart for the sake of their everyday function.

3 – Couples Have Varying Specific Sleep Needs

Some people can be like Goldilocks when it comes to sleeping – everything has to be right before they can comfortably doze off. For people like this, sleeping separately means never having to compromise on their ideal sleep environment. Some examples of specific sleep needs are:

  • Temperature Needs: Some people like a cool bedroom and others like it warmer. While, in most cases, a cool temperature is central to good sleep, it’s not uncommon for partners to have wildly different preferences for night-time temperature. Couples can fix this by using different blankets and sleep clothing materials, but they may find it easier to sleep separately.
  • Noise Needs: Some people need complete, dead silence to be able to sleep. Others want to fall asleep to a noise machine, TV, or radio sound. It’s easy to see why these incompatibilities may drive a couple to sleep separately. 
  • Light Needs: Like with noise, some people prefer to have zero light and pitch darkness when sleeping. Others may be uncomfortable with that and choose a nightlight or even to have bright light. Couples can fix this by having one partner wear a sleep mask, but not all people like the sensation; some may rather sleep apart.
  • Mattress Needs: One partner may need a very soft mattress, while the other prefers a very firm one. Bedding and mattress firmness can play a huge role in sleep quality, which is non-negotiable for many. While half-and-half mattresses exist, they can often be more expensive, and some partners may consider the investment not worth it and prefer sleeping separately.

3 – Couples Who Sleep Separately Sometimes See Improved Relationship Health

In some cases, couples strengthen their bond and sleep separately for the sake of the health of their relationship. Despite the stigma surrounding it, having separate beds or bedrooms may be the best and healthiest decision for some couples. Here’s how sleeping separately can improve general relationship health.

  • Reduced Resentment: Over time, repeatedly getting lousy sleep because of a partner can cause resentment. It seems like such a small thing until you remember how insufficient sleep can affect everyday life. Sometimes the wisest thing to do for a couple is to sleep apart for their mutual health and happiness.
  • Heightened Desire For Intimacy: You’d think that sleeping apart reduces bedtime activities, but this is not the case. Instead, when good sleep energizes couples, they’re more likely to be interested in physical intimacy, according to research, especially among women.
  • Better Communication: Being well-rested makes you a better communicator and partner, say studies. You become funnier, more empathic, and even more attractive to others when you get the sleep you need. This is why marital quality can improve so much after couples begin to sleep apart. You have enough energy and pep in your step to be attentive, affectionate, and caring instead of burned out, exhausted, and stressed out.

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Final Thoughts On Why Some Couples Are Happier Sleeping In Separate Beds

Many couples find that sleeping separately grants them a better sleep. If you’ve been worried about taking the step to sleeping apart, consider how much of a positive impact it can have. The adverse effects of exhaustion and other issues can be much worse for your relationship than sleeping separately. Despite all the stigma attached to it, sleeping apart doesn’t have to be a sign of a relationship on the rocks. It can just be healthy!

That said, addressing a few things is essential when making this decision. First and foremost, couples must have a mutual understanding and be on the same page about why they made the decision. There should be an open, honest conversation about making this change to prevent resentment, fear of losing affection, and other problems from taking root.

Couples with children should also talk about their sleeping arrangements with their kids. Many children feel fear or shame about their parents sleeping separately, as they may think it’s a sign that their parents don’t love each other anymore. Explaining why you’ve decided to sleep separately can help them to understand why it’s a good idea. Offer reassurance about your love for each other and answer any questions your kids may have.

Finally, don’t feel discouraged if you miss sleeping with your partner. You can fix many sleep incompatibilities. According to studies, you can address a vast majority of sleep-related issues, including issues like snoring and sleep-talking. In the meantime, don’t forget to make time for physical affection to make up for the cuddles you miss out on at night!

Psychologist Explains 20 Behaviors That Ruin Relationships

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Did you know it’s effortless to ruin relationships with toxic behaviors that many people don’t realize they have? That one little lie you didn’t think your partner would ever discover was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Specific behaviors will drag you down and cause significant pain, suffering, and unhealthy relationships. The outcome will hold you back from obtaining what you want.

These behaviors can be your issue, or they might be some character flaws you see in the person you love. The problem is that these actions have a toxic effect on your relationship, and they could be what causes utter ruin. A cheating spouse can suck all the joy and happiness out of you, and you will find that you become sad, angry, and even bitter towards them.

Twenty Harmful Behaviors That Ruin Relationships

You can free yourself from these unhealthy behaviors, and you’ll notice a shift immediately. How you see and interact with the world is vital for your overall well-being. The first step in this journey towards becoming a better you are purging these toxic behaviors weighing you down.

If you’re with someone who displays such actions, it’s time to reevaluate your connection, as these things can ruin relationships quicker than anything. Here are the twenty most destructive behaviors you don’t want in your relationship.

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1. Jealousy Can Ruin Relationships

A jealous person can be a real threat. According to the National Library of Medicine, jealousy can be helpful, as it makes you feel wanted. However, morbid jealousy contrasts with usual possessiveness due to its intensity. People who have severe issues with envy become unrealistic with their demands.

They often want to close the other person off and keep them to themselves, which is one of the most common ways to ruin relationships with this unhealthy behavior.

2. Playing The Victim Causes Unhealthy Relationships

People who will never take responsibility for their actions are unhealthy in their thought processes. They prefer to point the finger back at you or anyone else to avoid blame. Under the surface, you will likely find some trauma or low self-esteem driving these behaviors.

3. Manipulation Might Ruin a Relationship

The controlling partner knows how to play people. You might see them as the puppet master holding you by strings and manipulating your every move. They are deceptive by nature, and they enjoy the misery they inflict. Most certainly, this kind of behavior will ruin relationships.

4. A Sense of Entitlement

Some people believe that life and the Universe owe them something. They always feel like there’s a deficiency and want to be repaid. They often walk around with a chip on their shoulder because they think they’ve been done wrong.

5. You Can Ruin Relationships By Lying

The lying partner is self-explanatory. Dishonesty is unhealthy and has no place in a relationship. If they lie to you once, they will lie time and again.

6. Cheating or Infidelity

Cheating often doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t love or care about you anymore. The act of infidelity is more about them than you. However, seeking gratification from others will ruin relationships fast, as it’s one of the most common reasons for divorce or separation.

7. Lack of Support

Everybody needs support and someone to be with them in life. When the chips are down, you need that shoulder to cry on. Consequently, the lack of support will do nothing but make you feel isolated and alone.

8. Cruelty Is Toxic for a Relationship

There is never a reason for cruelty, regardless of the situation. It’s unhealthy to call people names or engage in anything that makes you feel less than. Your partner is there to support you and not put you down. You don’t need this in your life, nor do you have to stand for it.

9. Gaslighting

Some manipulative partners want to make it look like you’re the one with the problem. They will turn things around so you believe you’re causing the issues. For instance, a cheating partner may manipulate the situation until you think they have no choice but to cheat because of how you acted.

10. Selfishness

The selfish partner is the one who puts themselves above you. They’re always looking out for number one, and there’s no room in their heart for anyone but themselves. They will often take from the family to ensure they meet their wants before anyone else.

unhealthy relationships

11. Arrogance Is Toxic

Arrogance will ruin relationships quickly. No one likes to be with someone who thinks they’re superior to everyone else. This person feels that they’re just a little better than others, and their arrogant attitude is a big turn-off.

12. Antagonistic

Being with an antagonistic person who likes to start fights is no fun. Sometimes, you want peace in life and don’t want to be with someone always looking for a battle.

At the core of the antagonistic person is someone with an unhealthy sense of self-worth. They make themselves feel better by forcing their opposition or hostility on you.

13. Stonewalling Can Ruin Relationships

The person who engages in stonewalling shuts down when there’s a conflict they must handle. This is an avoidant behavior pattern as this person has poor coping skills. When faced with uncomfortable situations, their emotions kick into overdrive, so they prefer to shut the conversation down or ignore it.

According to the National Library of Medicine, Gottman studied this subject in 1993 with 260 participants. They found that a high number of the participants had borderline personality disorder as well as antisocial tendencies. It could be the fuel behind this emotional implosion.

14. Perfectionism Leads to Unhealthy Relationships

Wouldn’t it be nice if you had the perfect partner and life? Some folks have real issues with how the world perceives them, so they want things to look perfect from the outside. It’s unrealistic and will ruin relationships, as keeping up with the demands is impossible.

15. Holding A Grudge

You cannot hold a grudge against your partner and expect a good relationship. You must talk things out and clear the air. Holding on to yesterday’s problems will affect your tomorrow, and this person has difficulty letting things go.

16. Stubbornness Can Be Toxic

Relationships are all about giving and taking. If one person takes more than they give, there’s an upset. Being stubborn can be helpful sometimes, but you need to be flexible when it comes to your partner.

17. Ignoring Self-Care

Finding self-care on the list might be shocking, but it’s a bigger problem than you think. Many people don’t keep up with hygiene and other activities that care for the body. It’s not uncommon, as even some Hollywood stars have been reported to have poor hygiene habits.

Sadly, when a person doesn’t shower, brush their teeth, get their hair cut, or trim their fingernails, it can cause quite a struggle in the relationship. No one wants to sleep beside, let alone be romantic with, someone who doesn’t care for their body.

18. You’ll Ruin a Relationship by Staying Stuck in the Past

Your past is a place you like to visit from time to time to enjoy the memories. However, you can’t fixate your whole life on what happened yesterday.

Some people are so caught up in their past that they can’t see a future. You need to set goals and have a vision for yourself and your partner, and it’s impossible to do so when you’re preoccupied with history.

19. Resisting New Experiences Causes Unhealthy Relationships

Life is all about having new experiences and reinventing your life. When you have a partner who resists anything new, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut.

This person is content with going to the same store or restaurant and isn’t looking for new adventures. When one person is adventurous and the other one not so much, it will ruin relationships as there are conflicting goals.

20. Taking Things too Personally Causes Strained Relationships

The person who wears their emotions on their sleeves is always fragile. Anything you say or do may be the cause of their emotional upset. It ruins relationships when one person is always in defensive mode for no good reason.

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Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Toxic Behaviors That Can Ruin Relationships

Balancing your moods and emotions in a chaotic world is challenging, but you don’t want to spend your days with a liar or a manipulating person. However, considering that the person you date also has the same struggles can ruin relationships. Having a healthy connection takes two people working together to fix the flaws and enhance the good.

If you find that you’re with someone who displays some of the toxic traits listed above, it may be time to consider counseling or dating around a bit more. If you have any of these traits above that have the potential to make you miserable and hurt the ones you love, then it’s time to do some soul searching and change your bad habits to break the cycle of unhealthy relationships.

Psychologist Explains 5 Skills To Be More Assertive

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Many people wish to become more assertive but don’t know where to start. Assertiveness involves stating your feelings and needs in a kind yet firm manner. It also means standing up for yourself and not tolerating disrespect.

Assertive people manage to find the right balance between timidity and aggressiveness. Self-assured people don’t shout or bark orders, but they don’t sit quietly while others take advantage.

Many people struggle with assertiveness due to upbringing, childhood trauma, or personality. For example, if you grew up in an invalidating environment, you probably thought that your feelings didn’t matter.

Adverse childhood experiences may have caused you to bottle up your emotions to please your parents. Since they neglected your feelings, you likely never learned how to assert yourself. Everyone deserves to have their voice heard, but this becomes a foreign concept for people with childhood trauma.

Even if you didn’t experience childhood emotional neglect, you might have a shy personality. Perhaps you prefer to blend into the background and not ruffle any feathers. Doing so may feel safer, but it doesn’t allow you to grow and learn self-confidence.

However, practicing a few essential skills can teach one to become more assertive.

Psychologist Reveals 5 Ways to Become More Assertive

Below, we’ll review these skills to help you become more confident and outspoken.

assertive

1. Be Mindful of Your Feelings to Increase Assertiveness.

You must learn how to accept your emotions first to become more assertive. If you don’t allow yourself to feel, you can never set clear boundaries with others. Healthy relationships begin with you, so become your own best friend by practicing self-compassion. The first step to healing involves finding the courage to look deep within yourself.

Become aware of your emotions, and watch them as they pass through your consciousness. If you can learn to identify emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them, it makes it easier to communicate with others.

Being able to express yourself confidently makes you more approachable and creates harmonious relationships. Since mindfulness helps with emotional regulation, it promotes a deeper connection with ourselves and others.

2. Believe That Your Thoughts Are Valid.

Being mindful of your feelings will teach you to express yourself clearly, and assertively. But first, you must believe that you deserve to have your emotions heard. Even if you feel comfortable with your inner self, you may still struggle with self-worth.

Outdated beliefs from your childhood may keep you from communicating with others effectively. If you harbor doubts about the validity of your feelings, you may decide to keep them to yourself.

So, the next step to becoming more assertive involves believing in yourself. Practice self-love and remember that you deserve to express your thoughts like anyone else. It doesn’t mean you have to shout over people or act defensively. It just means knowing your voice matters and permitting yourself to speak up.

3. To Be More Assertive, Respond Instead of React.

You might think reacting before anyone else can get the upper hand shows assertiveness. However, responding emotionally only causes the other person to become defensive, creating a vicious cycle.

Having emotional intelligence means taking time to process the situation before reacting. Sifting through your emotions first allows you to cool down and avoid saying anything you don’t mean.

If you react out of fear or anger, the situation will likely spiral into chaos. Becoming assertive involves learning to control your emotions so they don’t get the best of you. By mastering your feelings, you can approach situations with a clearer mind.

Think of this step as “zooming out” on your emotions to get a better vantage point. Taking time to reflect helps you see the bigger picture instead of blowing things out of proportion.

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4. Try to Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes.

Most people think being assertive only involves themselves, so they don’t consider anyone else. But, an essential step in becoming more emphatic is listening to others. If you acknowledge their feelings and show empathy, they’re more likely to lower their defenses.

Everyone wants to feel heard and respected, starting with the person in the mirror. If you can see the situation through someone else’s eyes, you will understand their motivations and reactions. It makes them more willing to listen to your perspective and find common ground.

5. Consider How You Want to Deliver an Assertive (but not Aggressive) Message.

The final skill to becoming more assertive involves putting everything together that you’ve learned so far. It’s time to test your new skills and knowledge so that assertiveness becomes second nature. When communicating with others, you must consider the setting, situation, and message you want to deliver.

For instance, imagine that your neighbors constantly blast loud music when you’re trying to sleep. If you don’t talk to them often, you probably wouldn’t yell over the fence asking them to turn it down. Instead, you might look up their phone number and give them a call. Or, perhaps you’d knock on their door and politely but firmly ask that they keep it down.

Licensed psychologist Jonice Webb, Ph.D., discussed this scenario. She recommended saying something like this to your neighbors:

“It sounds like you are having a lot of fun over there, but I’m having trouble falling asleep with the loud music. Would you be able to turn the music down around midnight from now on? I’d really appreciate it since I have work in the morning.”

In this situation, the person clearly stated their needs while respecting the neighbor. So, being assertive doesn’t necessitate rudeness – it simply means expressing yourself without feeling guilty about your emotions.

assertiveness

Final Thoughts on Skills to Become More Assertive

Some people struggle with low self-esteem and feel shameful about stating their needs. Childhood trauma and neglect may cause someone to become passive out of fear of rejection. However, anyone can learn how to become assertive with the tips above. Above all else, learning to become your best friend and showing self-compassion will foster confidence. If you can mend your relationship with yourself, it will also reflect in your other connections.

Mentally Healthy People Do These 15 Things Without Realizing It

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Do you consider yourself a mentally healthy person? It’s challenging today to keep things together, but some people can let things roll off their backs and maintain their mental health. Many factors determine your mental health, and you must be proactive about it just like you are about your physical well-being.

Even if you’re not where you desire to be from a mental perspective, you can practice each day to improve. The most significant factor in making better choices is to change your mindset. You can improve your overall well-being by making minor adjustments and taking one step at a time.

Fifteen Habits and Characteristics of a Mentally Healthy Person

Perhaps you think your mental health is good and you’re strong on the inside. Here’s a list of common characteristics that people with good mental well-being maintain. See how you rank and identify the areas you need to improve.

mentally healthy

1. Mentally Healthy People Never Take Things Too Personally

It’s good to laugh at your own mistakes. When someone loves and accepts themselves for who they are, they don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves. Even negative comments or constructive criticism don’t send them crying into the next room.

They’ve learned that they can’t take things too personally, or it will destroy them. To stay healthy mentally, they must remain optimistic and realize that people often say things that come out differently than they mean. They also know that being mentally healthy has everything to do with their response to these silly comments.

While they may have doubts and insecurities, they keep these concealed as they feel good about themselves, and they’re not going to let a simple comment tear them down.

2. Keep Realistic Expectations

No one has a perfect life, as there’s not a thing that exists in this world. People often find that they’re overwhelmed by the negative emotions they feel when life knocks them down.

The difference between these people is that they learn from their mistakes and move on. They don’t ruminate on all the errors they’ve made in life. They don’t set unrealistic expectations for themselves or others.

3. Mentally Healthy People Know How to Make Decisions

The mentally healthy person has no issues with taking responsibility for their life, which includes making decisions. They’re not going to stress out if it’s the wrong call, as they know they will fix it. They’re accountable for their mistakes and know that wise judgment can help them make informed choices.

Those who tend to be mentally unhealthy won’t accept that they have any flaws. They have trouble making decisions and are often indecisive. They’re so afraid of pain or loss that they usually stay in toxic situations and are scared to make a move.

Being indecisive is caused by anxiety, and did you know that it’s a significant component in hoarding disorders? According to the National Library of Medicine, the task of discarding possessions is overwhelming to some. They believe they can use these items later and fear getting rid of them. The study found that out of 120 people, 87 struggled with an anxious attachment style.

Now hoarding disorder is just one type of anxiety, but many other types of anxiety disorders are at the root of an indecisive person. It shows poor mental health and often is linked to past traumas.

4. Engaging in Creative Thinking

When you’re mentally healthy, you maintain a positive attitude and stay full of hope. Your mind isn’t full of chaos and clutter that stunts your creativity. You’re great at problem-solving, as you can look outside the box.

Your spirits remain high as you’re full of passion and vigor. Being mentally strong means you’re always ready for adversities and adventures, and never underestimate what life might throw your way.

5. Accepts Themselves

Someone strong mentally can accept themselves. They love the skin they’re in and are not constantly trying to be something they’re not. They don’t engage in activities like people pleasing, as this isn’t being true to themselves.

When someone doesn’t have this level of self-love, they often struggle with anxiety, depression, and unnecessary stress. These individuals often seek validation from others instead of learning to be comfortable with who they are in life.

6. Maintains High Self-Confidence

To be mentally healthy in today’s world, you must keep your self-confidence in check. Even though the world may be crashing around you, you have the confidence to keep going amidst the danger.

It would help if you believed in yourself enough to know that you’ll be victorious no matter what’s happening. When you don’t have this level of security, you deal with fears and irrational thoughts.

7. Mentally Healthy People Are Comfortable in Social Settings

If you want to gauge if someone’s mentally healthy, watch them in social settings. Someone comfortable will be talking and laughing with everyone around them. The person who struggles with their mental health might tower in the corner and hope no one sees them.

While this scenario describes someone with social anxiety, it doesn’t always mean that someone who isn’t outgoing struggles from this type of angst. However, someone with robust mental health can quickly build social networks and doesn’t need to impress people.

mentally healthy

8. Flexibility Comes Naturally to Mentally Healthy People

Mentally healthy people are much like the chameleon. These animals move very slowly so they can camouflage themselves to avoid getting hurt. According to Reference, the chameleon’s ability to alter their environment is how they survive.

Keeping mentally sane is about learning to adjust to the ebbs and flows of life. The chameleon can change colors to blend in with whatever atmosphere, as they’re flexible. A person who maintains sound mental health has learned to do the same. They don’t get too worked up about anything; they switch into survival mode.

9. A Mentally Healthy Person Controls Their Reactions

You cannot control everything in your life; you’ll drive yourself mad if you try. Being mentally strong means you don’t hold grudges, demonstrate violent expressions, and retreat from the world due to excessive anxiety. You understand what’s happening around you; don’t let it affect you.

Those who have good mental health don’t try to control things they know they can’t possibly manage. Instead, they work on their response to things and learn how to react positively to matters outside their realm of control. They would never engage in negative emotions that cause significant issues, such as jealousy, envy, and rage.

Sure, this person’s hit rock bottom a few times in life. They get back up and keep trying rather than focusing on their failures.

10. Good Mental Health Often Means High Self-Awareness

A good self-awareness level is one of the critical characteristics of a mentally healthy individual. They regularly assess, reflect, and use introspection to help them grow and change. They can quickly identify bad habits and areas where they need to improve.

When they have this higher level of knowledge of what goes on in their mind, they have clarity, a better attitude, and can make the right choices in their life. Sure, they have a broad spectrum of emotions, but they utilize self-control to keep things in check.

11. Good Mental Health Maintains High Self-Respect

Being mentally healthy means that you respect your friends as well as yourself. You maintain a level-headed way of life and can embrace the differences of others. Those with poor mental health don’t have respect for others or themselves. They feel like any diversity is a personal attack when it’s nothing of the sort.

12. Keeps Happy and Healthy Relationships

It’s challenging to manage your relationships. Each association needs nurturing to maintain it properly. One of the vital characteristics of a healthy individual is they take the time and make an effort to keep these connections. Having healthy relationships dramatically affects your overall well-being.

Harvard Medical School’s Robert Waldinger is a psychiatrist studying the benefits of healthy relationships. His study comprises information from 80 years of research. The findings stated that those who engage in beneficial associations are happier and have better health.

When strong social connections form deep bonds, people live longer, have fewer health issues, and have better overall well-being. Additionally, the study showed that those who don’t have such healthy connections often show an early cognitive decline and more health problems.

13. Meditates and Takes Time to Relax

Being healthy means having good coping skills. A person with good mental health knows they need a way to detox from all the negativity they ingest in a day. They find ways to cope with stress by using positive methods to cleanse their mind.

14. Have a Strong Support System to Increase Mental Health

You can’t develop good mental health overnight, as it’s a process that comes with a learning curve. One thing that mentally sane people have learned is that they need a support system. When life does get tough, they have that network of people they can call to help bring them back to a more even place.

15. Eats a Healthy and Balanced Diet

Most importantly, your diet links directly to your mental well-being. Your brain needs nourishment from fruits, vegetables, protein, and grains. These folks know they can’t stay mentally sharp if they live on fast food and processed junk. They monitor what goes into their body, as it’s vital.

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Final Thoughts on the Key Traits of Mentally Healthy People

Does any of these characteristics sound like you? If you can identify with a few things on this list, then kudos! However, if you’ve identified a few things that show that you’re not as mentally healthy as you would like, you can always work to fix things. When you learn to change your mind, you can change your life.

15 Signs of Compatibility Between Partners

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Happy couples have one common denominator–compatibility. If you’re not compatible with your partner, then you can’t expect that you’ll have a happy and healthy relationship. Just like your life, relationships go through phases.

Initially, you’re in the infant stage when it’s new and exciting. You’re learning and growing together and exploring the innermost parts of this person. As you’re together longer, you start to find out if you’re a good match and can keep going. If you’re incompatible, you’ll never reach the adult stage in your relationship.

Compatibility isn’t something one person must have, as it takes both parties to have these qualities to make a good connection. When your relationship is harmonious, you can live together, adapt to one another’s lifestyles, and be open to new ideas. If this crucial element is missing from your relationship, it can be disastrous.

Fifteen Signs of Compatibility

How do you know if your relationship has what it takes to make it for the long haul? Are you meant to be together? Here are some signs that indicate you’re compatible.

compatibility

1. Compatible Partners Share Similar Interests and Goals

Compatibility means that you both have similar interests and goals. You’re both going in the same direction. Wouldn’t it be miserable if you went in one direction and your partner in another?

It’s often said that opposites attract. But how can you spend time together if you don’t like the same things? While you’re dreams and interests don’t have to mirror one another, they should at least be complementary.

2. Compatibility Means  You Are Free To Be Yourself

There are few things as bad as a fake person in a relationship. You want someone who allows you to be yourself without exception. You don’t have to change one thing when you’re with them.

You feel very free when you’re together. Compatibility means the freedom to think, speak, and be who you are. So many people are fake because they want to attract someone they believe is out of their league. Consequently, the foundation of your relationship must thrive on trust, and you must be honest with one another.

Many people turn to the internet to find love as their local options are limited. Interestingly, the Federal Trade Commission reported a loss of over $1.3 billion to romance scams in the past year.

Now, while your partner may be dating you in person and not on the internet, most people lure others with lies to make themselves seem more appealing. Individuals do this in real life and don’t need a screen to hide behind.

3. Minor Arguments Are Resolved Amicably Between Compatible Partners

It’s only natural for couples to have minor arguments. According to The University of Alabama, a couple who doesn’t have disagreements means that someone isn’t being honest. You can’t expect to always get along with someone who will do and say things that upset you.

The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is the ability to settle the conflict amicably. The argument doesn’t escalate to exchanging harsh words, childish behavior, and going without speaking for days. You don’t need a third party to step in to resolve things, as happy couples have enough respect for one another that they want to work it out.

4. Compatibility Includes Physical Appeal

While some folks think you shouldn’t base your relationship on looks, it’s usually what attracts you to this person initially. Being compatible with one another does require some physical attraction.

How can you develop feelings for someone who doesn’t appeal to you? Your attraction to one another helps to build a foundation that allows other things to follow.

5. You Become Family

The family lines seem to blur as you settle into a pattern of togetherness. You consider them part of your family unit, and no one better try to come between you two.

6. Compatible Partners Avoid Finger Pointing

It’s very childish for couples to play the blame game. Pointing fingers at one another are never the way to resolve anything. In an unhealthy relationship, one party refuses to take the blame for anything they’ve done wrong and is eager to point the finger at the other person.

This is a red flag for lack of compatibility and shows some selfish and manipulative behaviors under the surface.

7. Vulnerability Feels Safe Between Compatible Partners

When a relationship has a good foundation, you have no problems sharing your deepest thoughts and secrets. You know that no matter what you tell this person, it will not affect the relationship. Being vulnerable with one another is what makes happy couples, as you feel free enough to tell them anything.

8. You Prioritize Your Relationship

In a relationship, you must be each other’s top priority. You will often put your partner’s needs above yours, and their satisfaction and happiness are essential to you. When you’re compatible, you want to make each other feel loved and meet your needs.

compatible partners

9. Never Ashamed of One Another

When you’re compatible and find the one you long to be with, you’ll be proud to be with them in public. You’re never embarrassed or want to stay home to avoid being seen, as you want to show them to the world.

10. You Don’t Try to Change One Another

It’s a trainwreck when you go into a relationship with the idea that you can change someone. If you’re compatible, you accept each other for their weaknesses and strengths.

You don’t try to change one another, as this can create a toxic atmosphere. Happy couples learn to embrace their differences.

11. Similar Philosophies or Core Values

Having a partner who was raised with similar values and morals is helpful. However, even if you don’t have these similarities, you can see things from a standard lens. When you don’t understand one another, it causes endless misunderstandings.

Suppose you never went to college and feel that paying all that money for education is a waste of money. Consequently, your partner thinks that a college education is non-negotiable. When it comes to parenting, how will you raise your children regarding future schooling?

This situation could cause many arguments, especially as every person wants their kids to do great things. Thankfully, you both can work through these differences by looking at each other’s points. You see a way to work through what might be massive issues and tear some people apart.

12. Compatibility Means You Are Patient With One Another

It’s often said that patience is a virtue, but it’s vital when it comes to relationships. If you’re not patient with one another, it causes significant issues. An inpatient partner is a red flag of incompatibility.

When someone shows traits of being impatient, they push you along like everything is in a hurry. They expect you to move mountains, while in many instances, they won’t lift a finger. These people often have unrealistic expectations of their partners, and many have selfish or narcissistic tendencies.

13. Compatible Partners Are Willing to Sacrifice for One Another

One piece of chocolate cake is left, so you offer it to your partner because you want them to have it. Sure, you want that cake so bad you can taste it, but you prefer them over yourself. Love is never selfish, and it always comes with great sacrifice.

You may give up your dream home on the side of town you love because you want to be closer to work. Your partner wants six kids as they grew up in a big family, but they will settle for two because you don’t want that many children. Relationships are all about compromise and sacrifices, but when there’s compatibility between the two of you, it just seems to work out.

14. You Grow Together

Compatibility means growth. A couple doesn’t start at 25 years old and remains in the same spot in life at fifty. You grow together in many aspects, which include financial, spiritual, and otherwise.

Healthy relationships cause you to want to be better and do more. If you’re not growing together, you’re growing apart.

15. Compatibility Breeds Greater Trust

If you’re ever in the presence of happy couples with compatibility, you will notice the trust between them. They know that their partner isn’t going to say or do anything that would upset them.

They respect one another and know those proverbial boundaries that are so important. The love of a compatible couple is absolute and concrete.

compatibility

Final Thoughts on Compatibility and a Happy, Healthy Romantic Relationship

The key to a successful relationship is compatibility. All relationships take plenty of hard work but knowing if you’re compatible from the start is helpful. Why put all this work into someone when you’re not going to make it anyway?

So many people focus on the physical aspects and the three words that make your heart swoon: “I love you.” However, they miss the most important things. After the romance is done and the words have been spoken, if you have nothing in common, it’s challenging to make things work. It’s undoubtedly better to find out if you’re compatible sooner rather than later, so you don’t waste time with the wrong one.

Pet Psychologists Explain Why Cats Display Psychopathic Traits

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Typically, you don’t associate the word psychopath with your pet. But, pet psychologists have found a surprising connection between psychopathic behavior and cats. They say felines display common traits of a human psychopath. So, whether you agree with these pet psychologists, the six traits researchers say prove that your cat could be a psychopath. 

A behavioral study uncovered psychopathic traits in felines.

A study at the University of Liverpool and Liverpool John Moores University suggests that cats have some psychopathic behaviors. They say the behaviors vary in degrees from one feline to another. Their results came from a questionnaire they gave to 549 feline owners who they asked to answer specific questions describing their kitties. The questionnaire measured psychopathy in cats. The owners shared examples of their pet’s behavior in the context of these five areas. 

  • Boldness
  • Disinhibition
  • Meanness (aggressiveness)
  • Unfriendliness towards other pets
  • Unfriendliness toward humans

cats

Feline owners shared examples of how their cats showed these behaviors. For example, one cat owner said their cat torments their prey instead of killing it immediately. As a result, some of the questions they asked on the questionnaire included whether their pet did these things:

  • Tormented its prey instead of killing it 
  • Dominated the neighborhood
  • Chased owners or other humans
  • Picked fights with humans and other pets
  • Acted undeterred when punished for bad behavior
  • Ignored scoldings
  • Made loud yowls and meows for no reason

Researchers found that cats have psychopathy traits that probably helped their wild ancestors find food, mates, and shelter. Pinpointing these undesirable behaviors could help kitty owners better understand their pets. 

Pet Psychology Reveals 6 Psychopathic Traits That Cats Display

Do you see these behaviors in your kitty?

1. Aggressiveness (meanness) 

Human psychopaths lack empathy. They have no trouble hurting others, often displaying cold-heartedness when pursuing their goals. Cats often show similar behavior in their attitudes towards their owners or other animals. Meanness and disobedience are why some new owners return a kitty to a shelter. Cats may display malice through: 

  • Hissing
  • Scratching
  • Biting
  • Grabbing your legs
  • Spitting
  • Growling

If your kitty is acting like this, it’s wise to steer clear of them until they calm down. After a cool-down period, they will usually return to more loving behavior.

2. Disobedience

Felines can be naughty. Your cat may jump on your kitchen table, eat your food and be indifferent to your demands for them to stop. Whether or not they do these things on purpose is hard to know. But kitties are smart, and they can refuse to obey. One woman told the story about her cat pooping on her Bible when she left the cat alone for long periods. Of all the places the cat chose to do their business, pooping on the Bible seemed a great way to get her attention. It did. Some people say cats disobey when they’re bored. This observation may be accurate, but if researchers are correct, cats are psychopaths with little regard for their owners or their owner’s property. 

3. Uninhibited

Human psychopaths can’t control their urges or emotions as other people can. They act on impulse. Many of their actions are socially unacceptable. Cats like to be alone and can be manipulative with little regard for humans or other animals. Scientists say that before cats were domesticated, psychopathic behavior may have helped wild cats survive. Domestic cats no longer need to look for food or find a mate. So, their lack of inhibition increases because they don’t have an outlet. Finding ways to keep your cat entertained and challenged will help eliminate these behaviors. 

4. Boldness

Psychopaths don’t react to stress in the same way most people do. They lack fear when in situations that most people find incredibly frightening. Similarly, cats display boldness in cases that other animals would find fearful. They love to climb high up in trees or run on top of houses. They face large animals without fear. Incredibly bold cats may need access to tall scratching posts or areas where they can stalk and explore. Otherwise, they’ll get into trouble by starting fights with other pets in the house. Particularly bold cats may become antagonistic towards their owners. 

5. Callousness

Someone who is psychopathic lacks normal emotions. They’re cold-hearted and callous towards other people’s suffering. Cats often seem to act this way. If you’ve ever watched a cat catch a mouse, you know this is true. A cat will play with its poor prey, batting it back and forth like a toy instead of killing it. 

6. Anti-social 

Anti-social behavior and callousness connect to psychopathy in animals. Cats act as aloof and independent animals. Besides that, they don’t always like dogs. If there’s a dog in the house, some cats enjoy tormenting the dog into obedience. It’s frustrating, and this behavior makes felines seem mysterious and hard to understand. 

feline

How to help your cat be less of a psychopath?

Of course, you can’t take away your cat’s ancestral wild behavior, but you can help calm its over-the-top behaviors. Here are several tips to help alleviate your feline’s psychopathic traits. 

Structure in Playtime

Your cat needs playtime as an outlet for energy. If they don’t have ways of letting go of power, they get into trouble climbing where they shouldn’t or tormenting your dog trying to take a nap. 

Every day, schedule time to play with your beloved pet. Some things you can do during your structured playtimes include: 

  • Use cat toys to inspire their curiosity and playfulness. Allow your cat to pounce on the toys to simulate catching their prey.
  • Use LED lasers to bounce light on the wall so your cat can chase it. 
  • Food dispensing toys to allow them “hunt’ for their food
  • These playtimes should be no longer than ten minutes to avoid overstimulating your kitty, so they become aggressive. 

Check your cat for hyperthyroid issues.

Some of the kitty’s negative behavior could be due to health problems. Older felines are prone to developing hyperthyroidism. Cats with an overactive thyroid gland display behaviors such as these:

  • Irritability
  • Insomnia
  • Weight loss
  • Huge appetite
  • Bursts of energy

Talk to your local vet if you notice your pet showing these behaviors. Treatment is medication, surgery to remove the thyroid gland, or radioactive iodine therapy. 

Build peace into your house

Your cat’s ancestors were independent hunters. They don’t do well with other animals. Having multiple kitties or other pets in our house can stress cats out. They may exhibit distress by urinating on furniture to mark their territory or pooping outside their litterbox. Of course, some kitties get along with other animals. These felines may even need a friend to play with, But if you notice your cat isn’t happy, find ways to build harmony in your household. 

Create a safe outdoor place for your cat

Felines need to creep around to entertain themselves. They’ll get into trouble when cooped up too much. But kitties and other animals can be dangerous to domesticated cats. You can use a harness leash for your cat to allow them time outside. A leash gives them time to explore their backyard safely. 

Another solution is to build a catio for your feline. That structure is a little patio or sizeable caged-in area for your feline friend. It’s usually made outside a door or window so your cat can come and go on its own. A catio allows your kitty to enjoy independent outdoor play without fear for their safety. 

Accept their behavior

Sometimes it’s best to accept your kitty’s behavior rather than trying to change it. For example, sudden energy bursts are regular for pets. They like zoomies. If you try to stop them, it won’t help them or you. But, of course, if they act dangerously or hurt another pet or person, you must end that kind of behavior immediately. Redirect them when your cat displays unfriendly behavior with toys, treats, or other outlets for their energy. 

Cats aren’t alone in their psychopathic behavior.

According to studies, cats aren’t the only animals with psychopathic tendencies. Certain dog breeds have particular traits linked to this behavior. For instance, Basenjis cannot avoid temptations, and bull terriers show indifference to punishment and fearlessness. Besides dogs, researchers say chimpanzees display psychopathic behavior of meanness. 

cats

Final thoughts on a study that finds your cat might be a psychopath

Scientists hope learning about cats’ psychopathic tendencies will help improve feline-owner relationships. A better understanding of what makes kitties tick could help reduce the number of felines taken to shelters because of bad behavior. Plus, it could help identify undesirable behaviors of the owners and help create an environment for better behavior. Whether or not you agree with pet psychologists that felines are psychopathic, it’s at least interesting to consider your pet’s psychopathic traits. Your feline may be expressive and unfriendly towards other animals and people.

Feline meanness, boldness, and anti-social behavior are similar to human psychopathic behavior. Of course, each furry friend is unique and displays these behaviors at varying levels. You don’t need to be afraid of your cat’s unusual ways. Pet ownership is a great experience. It helps you learn about your kitties and how to live harmoniously with them. 

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