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Psychology Explains How to Forgive Yourself If You Cheated

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Cheating is not a small mistake, and it’s not something we should condone. But if you cheated, you need to learn how to forgive yourself. If the act has already happened, there’s nothing you can do anymore but become a better person. The only way you can do that is through forgiveness and self-compassion.

Cheating is something that’s way too common. Temptation is high, and you might slip. That doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It can just mean that you had a lapse of judgment. Cheating differs from case to case, and every person reacts differently. One commonality is that guilt often crushes the cheater. But this guilt doesn’t help anyone.

It doesn’t help the cheater take accountability, and it doesn’t help their partner feel better. The best thing you can do is forgive yourself if you’re ever in that situation. Self-compassion is the only way you’ll be able to live with yourself and the best shot you have at fixing things.

Why Do People Cheat?

First, let’s go through some reasons why people cheat. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not just because they are selfish and mean. Some do it for fun and even brag about it to their friends. But that doesn’t characterize most human beings. If you want to forgive yourself for cheating, you need to understand why it happened in the first place. Only then can you use self-compassion to heal.

forgive yourself

Emotional Neglect

Studies show that a partner’s leading cause of cheating is emotional neglect. In those cases, adultery is not just about intimacy. People who feel neglected crave to have someone care about them. When they cheat, they also get emotionally involved with that person. Why don’t these people break up with their partner to be with someone new?

If you’ve cheated because you feel neglected, you know the reason. It’s because you fear your affair partner won’t love you or the relationship won’t last. It feels like you’re better off continuing what you already have because that’s more stable. Plus, just because you feel neglected doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for your partner. Chances are you still love them and aren’t ready to let go. But the lack of love you feel from your partner could make you distant. Until you fix this, you cannot forgive yourself and move on.

You Fall Out of Love

Maybe you are slowly falling out of love and not ready to admit it. In that case, you are much more likely to stay with the one you had an affair with. It’s also much more likely to engage in severe intimacy and show your affection through words. This doesn’t happen often, but some people even confess their love to the one they had an affair with.

You Crave the Spice of a New Relationship

Another common cause for cheating is a lack of variety. The idea that relationships should be monogamous is outdated. But it’s still the norm enforced by society. Still, that doesn’t make cheating okay. There are people out there who live happy, polyamorous lives. But the people who are too afraid to try it often cheat on their partners. So even if you are romantically monogamous, you still might feel like you need more sexual variety.

In those cases, people will resort to cheating to satisfy their desires. Again, this is not an excuse to betray your current partner, but the reality is that it happens. Cheating also suggests anger and a need for revenge. This is potentially the evilest reason, but some cheat to get back at their partner. Studies have found that, in those cases, the cheater is most likely to confess. That’s probably due to the desire to make the partner feel horrible. People should never use cheating to get back at someone.

Poor Judgment

Lastly, some cheat because they have a lapse of judgment. Sometimes, this is a fake reason to get them off the hook. If someone was at the club, saw someone hot, and cheated, that’s still a choice. Sure, it’s not the most rational choice, as the drinks affected their judgment. But it’s a choice nonetheless.

But sometimes, people get caught up in the moment and don’t think clearly. So, for example, someone drunk could end up kissing another person without fully understanding what they’re doing. Or maybe they were hanging out with someone, started flirting, and things got out of control. But, of course, the cheater could still force themselves to be rational in all these cases.

But emotions are sometimes so strong that they override all logical thoughts. Of course, this is not an excuse; you must still own up to your mistakes. You cannot forgive yourself of fix your relationship until you accept accountability and solve this toxic behavior.

How to Forgive Yourself If You Cheated on Your Partner

self-compassion

Whether you stay with the one you cheated with, with your initial partner, or even end up single, you must forgive yourself. Forgiveness is the only way to move forward, do right by the one you betrayed, and start a better life.

1.      Come Clean Before You Can Forgive Yourself

The first thing you need to do is confess what you did to your partner. It doesn’t matter whether you break up. Not telling them will haunt you for the rest of your life. Instead of being scared that they’ll break up with you if they find out, accept that they need to know. Even if they decide to leave you, that’s healthier for both of you.

Coming clean will allow you to patch things up with the one you’ve hurt. While you might part ways, you at least have a chance to stay friends. Or at least you’ll part on decent terms. If you confess and own up to your mistake, you do a morally good thing. That way, you don’t risk the possibility that your partner will find out from another source. Instead, they should hear it from you so that they at least know you respect them enough to confess.

This also gives you the best chances to patch things up. But that shouldn’t even be the goal. Instead, it would help if you did it because it’s the right thing. It also makes you feel less guilty and allows you to forgive yourself. Even if your partner doesn’t excuse you, you know there’s nothing more you could have done. That thought alone will wrap you in self-compassion and allow you to move on.

2.      Before You Forgive Yourself, You Must Take Accountability

One of the worst things you can do after cheating is to label what happened as an “accident .”Even if you had a lapse of judgment, nothing is entirely accidental. If you cheated because you were too drunk to control yourself, you shouldn’t have been drinking in the first place. You should have discussed things with your partner if you cheated because you felt neglected.

There is always something you could have done to avoid cheating and betraying the one you’re with. Taking accountability is a big step towards forgiving yourself and making things right with your partner. However, it would help if you didn’t let your partner walk over you because you cheated. Even though they were hurt, they don’t get to make you do ridiculous things.

For example, they have no right to forbid you from going out again. If your partner asks you to cut ties with the person you cheated with, that’s reasonable. If they ask you to drink a little less and stay home a little more, that’s also reasonable. You should do things to make up for the pain you’ve caused, especially if they decide to stay with you.

Trust is hard to rebuild, but if you have empathy and try to make things right, you can do it. If you decide to break up, you should still apologize and agree to what you did. Then, identify what went wrong and do your best to better yourself.

3.      Practice Self-Compassion as You Begin to Forgive Yourself

Self-compassion refers to the mindset that people are imperfect and are allowed to make mistakes. This mentality doesn’t tie your worth as a human to your mistakes. Instead, your worth is something you have as long as you try to be accountable and better yourself. It’s not about the error itself; it’s about how you act after the incident.

If you want to forgive yourself, you must stop beating yourself up over something that happened in the past. No matter how much you’d like to, you can’t take back what you did. You can only fix your behavior from now on. It’s even okay to talk to a therapist about what happened. After all, people sometimes cheat because they feel that’s their only option to be romantically fulfilled.

Even the cheater can be traumatized after these events. You need to understand that your feelings are valid no matter what. If you feel guilty and sad after cheating, you need to ensure those feelings are addressed. Don’t just sweep them under the rug. Take a few days to reflect and practice self-care. Sometimes, things like meditation to increase self-compassion. It can also help a lot on the journey towards forgiving yourself.

forgive yourself

Final Thoughts on How to Forgive Yourself If You Cheated on Your Partner

Cheating is a messy affair that has repercussions for you and your initial partner. There are many reasons why it happens, some more justifiable than others. Still, cheating is not something that people should condone. But we need to face reality and accept the fact that it happens. And the one who got cheated on isn’t the only one who will need to heal. As a cheater, you must forgive yourself and move on with grace and self-compassion. After all, life goes on, and the only thing you can do is become a better person.

The first step is to come clean. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t confess what happened. Plus, the constant anxiety of your partner finding out from someone else will eat you alive. It’s best to accept the consequences, whatever those might be, and tell your partner what you did. Then, it would help if you were accountable. Don’t try to pass the cheating off as an accident because it never is.

You undoubtedly did something to end up in that situation and need to fix that behavior. Also, remember that it’s your partner’s choice whether to give you another shot. All you can do is apologize and try to be better. Self-compassion will help you a lot. You’ll realize that all you can do is become a better person. If you take the steps necessary to better yourself, you’ll eventually be able to forgive yourself.

4 Differences Between Infatuation and True Love

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Infatuation is something people often confuse with true love. But unfortunately, true love is not something people come across often. Everyone wants to find it, but it’s one of the hardest things to achieve. Still, that doesn’t mean you won’t ever have feelings towards someone else. It’s just that those feelings aren’t always what they seem.

It’s far more common to feel infatuation, but that feeling isn’t an issue. The issue is what people do with it. Instead of recognizing and accepting it as it is, they treat it like love. When that happens, you can start to create false expectations about the relationship you’re in. Realistically, you can never spend your life with someone you’re just infatuated with. But that doesn’t mean that people don’t try.

That’s how you end up getting hurt or even hurting someone else. It would help if you learned to differentiate between the two feelings. One will lead to a short-lived, albeit fun, relationship. And the other will lead to a lifetime of happiness next to your match.

What is Infatuation?

Infatuation is something people experience as early as childhood. At first, you get captivated by objects. You have that one toy you are obsessed with and never let it out of sight. You have that one book you repeatedly read that you can almost recite by heart. And then you grow older, and you start feeling attracted to people. You start liking a classmate and convince yourself they are your true love. Even though they aren’t, you still imagine your life with them. And your heart gets broken when those dreams don’t become a reality.

infatuation

Research shows that infatuation does not possess the element of attachment and compassion required by true love. Instead, it’s a state that precedes love. But that doesn’t mean love always comes after infatuation. It just means that, often, infatuation becomes love. This evolution makes sense, as the definition of infatuation is an intense state of physical and psychological arousal. When you become infatuated, your thoughts become obsessive, filling you with anxiety. You’ll also make up scenarios that will most likely not happen. Finally, you’ll start worrying and overthinking, as you won’t get those thoughts out of your head.

The scientific literature hasn’t yet agreed upon a fixed definition, but those seem to be the most common characteristics. Still, they agree that everyone experiences infatuation, regardless of age or culture. If you weren’t familiar with the term, that doesn’t mean you’ve never heard of the concept. But you probably know it under a different name, like puppy love, passionate love, or obsessive love. But the term “love” is used in all these names is what throws people off.

Sure, infatuation is a type of love. But it’s not what people expect when they hear love. If this infatuation doesn’t turn into something relatively quickly, it will become toxic. You can’t be with someone you’re just fascinated with and expect things to go well after a couple of years. Either you won’t make it that far or end up abusing each other.

4 Differences Between Infatuation and True Love

Infatuation is a feeling everyone needs to experience. It teaches you the first things you need to know about attraction and love. But that’s only possible if you learn to differentiate between infatuation and true love. To make things more transparent, here are four differences between true love and infatuation.

1.      Infatuation Is All About Appearances

Dating is based on meeting people and deciding whether to give them a shot based on their first impression. So, it’s not a surprise that relationships start superficially. But these kinds of relationships are all about appearances. They’re about how good someone looks or how they act in public. But true love requires you to get to know someone deeper.

To fall in love, you must know and accept everything about a person. You need to know what things they do annoy you and how to avoid stepping on each other’s toes. But that’s not something that happens when you are fascinated. In that state, you only care about appearances. If they are good-looking and they seem to have a decent personality, that’s enough for you. This behavior is toxic because you overlook your partner’s negative traits.

You might have to put up with someone mistreating or abusing you. It would help if you learned that, no matter how pretty the cover looks, that doesn’t mean the inside matches. When you finally fall in love, looks won’t matter as much. Sure, attraction stays essential, but true love is more than that. You care about someone so much that they always look beautiful in your eyes.

2.      Infatuation Is Obsessive. True Love Is Compassionate

true love

If we could describe infatuation in just one word, it would be “obsessive.” All your thoughts revolve around the person who you are infatuated with. You always think about what they are doing and who they are with. This idea that your partner should always be on your mind is society’s idea of romance. People yearn for that kind of passion. But they forget that these recurring thoughts are toxic.

Passion can quickly become an obsession, and it often does with infatuation. It’s not just that you want to know that your partner is safe and happy. It’s that you want to know everything they do at all times. And chances are, you also want them to spend every living moment with you.

But true love never feels this way. You are not concerned with what they are doing at all times because you trust them. You never force them to spend time with you because you know you have enough time. If they are busy, you respect that. This kind of relationship is compassionate.

You want to see your partner grow and are happy you can go through life together. You don’t spend every second thinking about them because they’ll tell you their day when they get home. This connection is more mature and patient.

3.      True Love Is Respectful and Empathetic

Infatuation is often damaging because it’s about what you think and feel but never about the other person. You don’t even need to know someone; you become infatuated with them. Because of that, infatuation is very egotistical. It’s all about what you want and what you like, but never about the other person and what they prefer. So even if you get into a relationship with someone you’re infatuated with, it won’t be based on respect.

It’ll just be something you impulsively decide to do. You won’t cherish the person you’re with, and they won’t love you. Instead of being empathetic, you risk bringing each other down. You could end up with someone who is only satisfied if you act according to their image of you. And you’ll likely treat them the same.

But true love is only possible when two people meet and decide to build something together. In those cases, respect will be something that both of you value. So, you’ll work to have it in your relationship. Not only that, but you’ll be empathetic. You’ll find that you’ll be willing to sacrifice to see your partner happy. The beautiful thing is that they will reciprocate this behavior.

Your partner will also strive to see you happy, even at the cost of making some sacrifices. You’ll always feel safe and cherished. You won’t be anxious about where they are and what they’re doing. They respect you, and you trust them to give them freedom. This relationship will not be your whole life. Instead, the relationship will be an addition to an already satisfying lifestyle.

4.      Infatuation Is Not Bound to Last

We all would like to find the one we truly love when we are young and stay with them forever. Some people are lucky enough to have that kind of love in their lives. But most people go through a few short relationships before finding the one. That’s because infatuation is not a solid foundation for any relationship.

Marriage based on infatuation is probably the biggest mistake you can make in your love life. The marriage will likely end in divorce. And even if it doesn’t, you’ll never be delighted. Because infatuation is obsessive and gives people anxiety, it will always make you doubt your partner. You’ll never feel that you can fully trust them. This anxiety will make you act impulsively.

You’ll often accuse them of infidelity or lying. But, even if that doesn’t happen, other issues will appear. And you’ll find it hard to solve fights, as there’s a lack of empathy. But, when you find true love, all those issues will fade away. Sure, you’ll still fight sometimes, and that’s normal. But you’ll trust them and know they truly value you.

You and your partner will always solve fights because you know that, no matter what, it’s you against the world. You’ll always be a team and value each other more than your pride. You’ll even feel the dynamic difference because you won’t be anxious about losing them. These relationships will last because of all of these reasons.

infatuation

Final Thoughts on Some Differences Between Infatuation and True Love

Love is tricky to navigate and even trickier to find. There are many types of love, and you’ll likely experience all of them. If you haven’t already found your true love, don’t worry. You have all the time in the world. Even if you’ve seen them, that might not be the case. You might just be infatuated with someone, confusing that for love.

Infatuation is a normal feeling. Unfortunately, it often makes people act irrationally or become toxic. Infatuation is much different from true love because it is egotistical and obsessive. True love is selfless, empathetic, respectful, and compassionate. That’s not the case for infatuation. That feeling is only based on appearances.

In that case, you could even ignore red flags because of how blinded it makes you. Maybe this connection feels like true passion, but it’s not sustainable. True love is steadier and more patient. When you finally find the one, you will understand there’s no rush. You have all the time to build a happy life alongside the one you love.

13 Traits a Creative Genius Displays (Without Realizing It)

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You often hear the word creativity, but do you know what it means? Perhaps, you’re a creative genius but don’t realize it. People are fascinated by creative folks, as their minds tend to work in ways the average person doesn’t understand.

Look at some historical examples, such as Thomas Edison or Albert Einstein. These men were on a whole different level because their intellect was far above their peers. Where would the world be without the inventions of these two men?

Maybe it’s time for you to unleash your inner creativity and walk into the genius aspects of your gifts. The world could be waiting for your discovery to change things for the better.

Thirteen Traits of a Creative Genius

How does one know if they’re a creative genius like some of the masterminds? There are some easy-to-identify signs that you can’t ignore. Here are a few of them.

creative genius

1. A Lack of Self-Consciousness Is a Sign of Creativity

Many people get caught up in caring what others think. However, the open-minded creative genius is not this type of person. Look at Einstein’s classic hairdo.

It was chaotic at best, but do you think he cared what others thought of him? No! He was comfortable in his skin, and the world’s opinions didn’t faze him.

2. A Creative Genius Stays Optimistic

Creative masterminds often fail many times before they strike gold. Consider Milton Hershey, the creator of the Hershey Company. According to the Hershey Community Archives, he filed for bankruptcy three times before he finally sold his chocolate idea to the world.

These masterminds will stop at nothing to accomplish whatever they set their mind to do. They remain optimistic even when the whole world is against them. In most cases, they have the intelligence to do what needs to be done. So the actual challenge is to sell everyone else on their idea.

3. A Creative Genius Is Open to New Experiences

Being open-minded is part of the creative genius process. If you’re not willing to look outside the realm of what society dictates as “normal,” you will never see what could be out there. Picasso would have never made it so big if he didn’t have a vision for his paintings.

A creative genius strives to change their life for the better. They desire to experience the unexpected and crave something outside the norm.

4. Cognitive Flexibility and Creativity Work Together

According to Science Direct, cognitive flexibility is a critical decision-making task. It is the capability to modify actions in reaction to changes around them. A cognitively flexible person can see the world through new eyes continuously.

They can transform and go with the flow when things go in a direction they didn’t expect. Since they can easily switch from one task to another, their flexibility helps them with their high level of intelligence. Their minds and eyes are always open because they know the most incredible things happen when you least expect them.

5. Doesn’t Fit in with The Crowd

The creative genius has a hard time fitting in with the crowd. They’re outsiders who are often the source of much ridicule. They don’t think like everyone else, so their intelligence separates them from others.

Sometimes this person is accepted and shunned simultaneously, which can be hard to comprehend. They usually have very few friends, and they prefer the company of themselves, as most of these open-minded folks are loners.

6. The Creative Genius Could Care Less About the Destinations and More About the Journey

Does the fear of losing control bother you? Do you need everything to be in order? A creative genius craves uncertainty.

They’re very free-spirited and go with the flow. They don’t require perfection to enjoy their lives. Do you think Rembrandt knew what his painting would look like before he started? Of course not!

He just started painting and went with whatever he felt in the moment. Even famous painter Bob Ross would turn accidents on the canvas into “happy little trees.” People born with the creative gene are more focused on the process rather than their journey to get there.

7. They Make Lots of Mistakes

Though these folks have above-average intelligence, they make lots of mistakes. However, their open-minded enough to know that you use these blunders to grow.

It’s one of the biggest myths of the creative process t a person gets it right the first time. They try time and again, but they don’t give up until they get it right. Mistakes are merely stepping stones towards achieving their goals.

creativity

8. Diffused Attention

There’s hardly a person with this level of intelligence that works on just one project. Instead, the creative genius is open-minded and has several projects going at once. It’s called diffused attention, and it means that they’re defocused.

This creative person will go through times when they’ve intense concentration, but these states don’t last for long. Their mind quickly shifts to something else. If you were to ask this person about their method, they would probably call it madness or organized anarchy.

9. Creativity Thrives in Chaos and Disorder

Did you know that creative breakthroughs often happen in the most inopportune times? Most people can’t just sit down and write a song. Instead, it hits them during a situation or struggle that causes the words to flow like honey.

Take, for instance, the touching story of Horatio G. Spafford. He wrote one of the greatest gospel songs of all time, “It Is Well with My Soul.” Yet, this song about how everything is well was birthed through the most challenging days of his life.

He lost his business in Chicago’s fires, then his wife and children took a ship to London, and he had plans to meet them later. However, the boat went down in the Atlantic, and only his wife survived. On his way to be with his wife in another country, the captain told him when he passed over the spot where his four beautiful daughters died.

At this location, the song’s words began to flow from his soul. He had no idea how this song would impact people for decades.

10. They’re Not Motivated by Personal Gain

Some folks are motivated by money in this life, and others seek fame. Neither of these things motivates the intelligent person with immense creativity.

They don’t care about fame or fortune as much as they do about doing something that will change the world. They also have an intense need to fulfill their vision.

11. Always Active

The most open-minded people, with some of the highest intelligence you’ve ever encountered, are usually folks who can’t sit still. You may think this person has ADHD because they stay on the go and fidget around. Downtime is uncomfortable for these individuals, as most don’t know how to relax.

Here are a few things about historical greats that many people don’t know:

  • Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution was created while riding in a carriage on a trip to the Galapagos.
  • Mark Twain was unable to sit still; he often paced the floors. Still, he penned some of his great masterpiece novels while pacing back and forth.
  • Mozart never knew when inspiration might hit him, so he kept little pieces of paper in his pockets should he need to write.

For some, it’s their bodies that are always in motion, and for most, it’s most definitely their minds. It’s believed that when you move, you’re using kinetic energy, and it’s this energy that primes your creative thinking processes.

12. A Creative Genius is More Sensitive to Stimuli

There’s an old stereotype that artists tend to be more sensitive, which is frequently true. People who fall into the realms of genius are more susceptible to stimuli. They’re constantly measuring stimuli in their environments.

While the buzz from a TV might not bother some people, it can drive this person mad. It’s also not uncommon for this person to retreat from the world to recharge their batteries, as the sensitivities from the outside world can often be too much.

13. Creativity Requires Calculated Risks

Being creative and open-minded means taking risks. These people don’t care if they lose everything, as their focus is on accomplishing their goal. They’re used to ridicule and malice, and people think they’re off balance.

Their intelligence is higher than the average person’s, so they don’t think and function like the rest.

creative genius

Final Thoughts on the Signs of a Creative Genius

Perhaps you’re a creative genius, and you don’t realize it. Is your mind always working and thinking of the following invention or idea that can change the world? Do you tend to be a loner who thrives in chaos?

Maybe you have a high tolerance for uncertainty, as you thrive on being a risk taker. Perhaps it’s time to unleash that creativity and share your gifts and talents with the world. Now that you know a few things about how your creative mind works, it’s time to walk in the fullness of your abilities.

12 Motivational Quotes About Life from Queen Elizabeth II

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Her Majesty the Queen, Elizabeth the Second, passed away on September 8, 2022, at the age of 96. Her passing ending reign over the UK and its Commonwealths for over seventy years. The Queen ascended to the throne at the young age of 25 in 1952. She was the longest-serving monarch in British history. On the morning of September 8th, a spokesman for the royal family announced:

“Following further evaluation this morning, the queen’s doctors are concerned for Her Majesty’s health and have recommended she remain under medical supervision.”

Just a few short hours later, an announcement was issued regarding the passing of the beloved monarch. The monarch’s children and a few of her grandchildren were with her in her final hours, spent at her beloved Balmoral Castle in Scotland.

After her passing, her son Charles (now His Majesty the King Charles the Third) issued an official statement on Twitter:

“The death of my beloved Mother, Her Majesty the Queen, is a moment of the greatest sadness for me and all members of my family.

We mourn profoundly the passing of a much-loved Mother. I know her loss will be deeply felt throughout the country, the Realms, and the Commonwealth, and by countless people around the world.

During this period of mourning and change, my family and I will be comforted and sustained by our knowledge of the respect and deep affection in which The Queen was so widely held.”

Queen Elizabeth II was beloved by so many–across the UK and worldwide. Yes, she was a regal figure; elegant and stoic; quiet but determined. But she was also very committed to her family, beloved by her father and mother (the former beloved Queen Mum). The observations she made were keen, wise, and inspiring.

Twelve Motivational Quotes from Queen Elizabeth II

Here are some motivational quotes by Queen Elizabeth II–let’s reflect on her wisdom as we mourn her loss around the world.

1. “What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass.”

Spoken in a speech in Dublin in 2011, Her Majesty acknowledged the long struggles between Ireland and Great Britain. Many dreamed of a time when they would work peacefully for the better of the entire United Kingdom. At this speech, she reflected that while the struggle long and bitter, they had moved past the strife and were ready to move forward to a harmonious and peaceful future for the next generations.

When you reach a goal, take time to pat yourself on the back–you earned it. Your road might have been long and the journey challenging, but you deserve to acknowledge your success.

2. “It has been women who have breathed gentleness and care into the hard progress of humankind.” 

Indeed, humankind is an ever-evolving work in progress. Queen Elizabeth acknowledged the role of women, who often find a gentle, more diplomatic way to solve problems.

3. “Let us not take ourselves too seriously. None of us has a monopoly on wisdom.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II

So it seems that even a Queen knows that we must learn to laugh at ourselves once in a while! The Queen was still a daughter, mother, grandmother, and aunt when not working in her official duties. In interviews, Royals occasionally refer to Queen Elizabeth’s dry sense of humor, which she displayed to her closest confidantes.

Cut loose, live a little, have some fun–by order of the Queen!

4. “Good memories are our second chance at happiness.” 

Life is full of tragic losses. However, when we lose someone we treasure, we have memories to cherish. Of course, grief is awful and painful. But as time passes, you can always smile back at the good times with your loved one.

5. “When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future.”

Queen Elizabeth II spoke this line during her 2008 Christmas address. Her country had service members fighting with the United States in Iraq and Afghanistan. Besides that, an economic crisis was bubbling to the surface, and the United Kingdom faced uncertainty. However, the Queen did what she often did–rallied the people of her country to count their blessings, live their best lives, and continue to progress towards better times.

6. “I know of no single formula for success. But over the years, I have observed that some attributes of leadership are universal and are often about finding ways of encouraging people to combine their efforts, their talents, their insights, their enthusiasm, and their inspiration to work together.” 

Her Majesty shared this wise observation in an address to the United Nations General Assembly in July of 2010. In it, the Queen admitted that she did not have all the answers, a rare moment of vulnerability for a Royal. However, she followed by noting the traits displayed by all the successful people she observed–effort, cooperation, and putting their talent to work.

queen elizabeth

7. “Work is the rent you pay for the room you occupy on earth.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II

Here’s a tidbit many people don’t know about the Queen. She was incredibly close to her father, King George VI, who passed away in February 1952.

As World War II raged across Europe and bombs dropped across London almost daily, her father tried to keep the troops and people of her country hopeful. Still a teenager at the time, Princess Elizabeth did an incredible act of selflessness that inspired millions. In 1948, 18-year-old Elizabeth knew that she must display leadership. After all, she would one day lead her nation.

So she drove an ambulance in the Auxiliary Territorial Service to add to the war effort. Not only did she learn to drive the ambulance, but she also trained as a mechanic and fixed the vehicles, too! To this day, the Queen is still the only female in her family to have Army service.

Although born into wealth and luxury, young Elizabeth knew the value of hard work.

8. “Family does not necessarily mean blood relatives but often a description of a community, organisation or nation.”

Family can be a very sticky, messy business–blood relatives have spats, jealousy, and in-fighting. Sometimes you must find your soul tribe and make your own family.

9. “The world is not the most pleasant place. Eventually, your parents leave you and nobody is going to go out of their way to protect you unconditionally. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II

Indeed, the world can be cruel. At some point each of us must learn to reject toxic people and take charge of our own destiny.

10. “We all need to get the balance right between action and reflection. With so many distractions, it is easy to forget to pause and take stock.” 

Some people overthink. As a result, they freeze and fail to act when the should. Conversely, others act on impulse and make rash decisions they later regret. The advice from Queen Elizabeth? Take that deep breath, pause, and decide wisely.

11. “Cowards falter, but danger is often overcome by those who nobly dare.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II

Almost everyone admires those who are bold, courageous, and daring–they are the people who take calculated risks and change the world. So be bold and do a random act of kindness today; you’ll feel so good that you’ll want to do another. And another. And another…

12. “True patriotism doesn’t exclude an understanding of the patriotism of others.” 
The Queen seemed to understand that we all need empathy and acceptance of others. We should include everyone and make diverse points of view part of the fabric of our society.

queen elizabeth

Final Thoughts on the Passing of Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth II was a head of state, a family member, the head of her church, and an inspiration to a worldwide audience. So many loved her mysterious smile and her kind eyes. Besides that, we listened to every word when she spoke. That’s because she always had a way of getting down to the bottom line in a common-sense, straightforward manner that did not belittle or shame anyone. She handled herself with grace for over seventy years and throughout multiple global and family tragedies. But she always did so with kindness and courage.

12 Traits of a Rational Thinker

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Do you consider yourself a rational thinker, or are your decisions often based on emotions? The balance of the two can make a difference in your success. How can you tell which mode of thinking you use? Since your brain has a right and a left hemisphere, it makes sense that people can be rational and emotional. Medical experts say that your right brain focuses on emotions and creativity. Conversely, your left brain controls reasoning and other logical skills.

Twelve Habits of a Rational Thinker

Although humans use both sides, most people have a more dominant brain sphere. Are you the calm voice of reason, or does your heart rule your head? These are 12 habits to notice if you’re a rational thinker or a left-brain dominant.

1. A Rational Thinker Will  Pay Attention to Detail

You don’t rush through tasks and decisions if you’re a rational thinker. You have a distinct eye for each detail and how everything works together. Seeing the individual pieces may take a while before you can envision the whole picture.

For this reason, people often turn to you for the most complex projects, especially at work. They know that you’ll take the task seriously and won’t do anything but your best. This habit becomes a liability if it turns into perfectionism, and you’re left to spin out of control.

rational thinker

2. Logical People Clarify Your Ideas

Ideas are like seeds you plant, water, and care for until they grow into thriving plants. Even the best ideas need revision for optimal success. Logical thinkers can blend reasoning and emotions to clarify their ideas for themselves and others.

Let’s say that you have a unique idea for a business. You do research, and you talk to successful entrepreneurs. You create a business plan that will explain your idea to potential investors.

3. Logical People Get the Facts Straight

Remember the classic detective show where the agent always said, “just the facts?” Rational thinkers like you aren’t satisfied with hearsay, surmising, or half-truths. You’ll work overtime researching facts and verifying them with reliable sources before you take a side.

Nothing makes you uncomfortable than being on the fence about a decision or action. Once you have the facts straight, you can better use your sense of logic, reasoning, and deduction. Such logical brain behavior would serve you well in mathematics, science, or education.

4. A Rational Thinker Has Excellent Communication Skills

It does no good if you’re the most intelligent person in the world and don’t communicate well with others. Effective conversations involve two or more people sharing thoughts, ideas, and feelings. You can convey your thoughts skillfully and are also an active listener.

An active listener goes beyond just hearing what someone says. You purposely think about what they’re saying without interrupting. You use receptive body language and mirror their feelings.

Additionally, you pause for a few seconds before you respond. If there’s something you missed, you ask them to clarify it. There are fewer chances for misunderstandings and miscommunication. Logical thinking can’t be shared without solid communication skills.

5. Rational Thinkers Need to Know Why

Do you recall your parents telling you to do something, and you asked why? It was one of your first childhood steps toward independent thinking. Maybe your parents took the time to explain their reasoning to you.

Maybe they were like many parents who retorted, “Because I said so.” Of course, your parents had your safety and best interests at heart. They also had the life experience and authority to direct you on the right paths.

Still, the foundation of learning is the urge to know why and how. Logical thinkers have an insatiable curiosity about the world around them. They know how to blend logic and emotion to be inventors, influencers, and life changers.

6. Emotions Don’t Cloud Reason and Logic

Just because you are logical doesn’t mean you’re robotic and without emotion. Time and experience have helped you balance your emotional and logical thinking. You try your best to be open-minded and objective when you make choices in your life.

For example, your teen is discussing college choices with you. Of course, your heart wants them to attend your alma mater. However, you realize that the other prospective university has a better program for their major.

It would be easy to talk to your school and encourage them to choose it. This is a case when you may have to put your feelings aside for the most logical choice. You realize that you can’t always use your rationale to persuade people to agree with you.

If you feel too emotionally close to the situation, you often step back and wait. Sometimes, even the most rational thinker must listen to their heart. It’s normal and all part of the human condition.

logical

7. A Rational Thinker Prefers to Follow a Daily Routine

According to an article published by the Mayo Clinic, following a daily routine can ease undue stress. If it helps, you can write a daily schedule and post it where you can see it each morning. When you write down your plan and goals for the day, you’re more likely to accomplish them.

While you understand the logic of following a routine, you also understand that things happen. Sometimes, you need to be flexible and make changes as required. Knowing how to adapt to unforeseen situations can benefit your mind and your emotions.

8. Logical People Rarely Make Rash Decisions

In this instant gratification society, it’s no wonder that people make split-second decisions. Nobody likes to wait in line, and everyone wants an answer right now. If you’re a rational thinker, you don’t allow impatience and other negative emotions to affect your choices.

Sure, many daily decisions don’t require a lot of thought, like what you’ll have for dinner. However, you’ve learned to weigh the pros and cons and how to count the cost of significant life decisions. Your emotions play a part in your choices, but your logic plays the main character.

9. Logic Demands List-making

Look around your home and office, and you’ll probably notice an everyday habit. Do you see an endless collection of reminder notes and lists? They may be scribbled on notepads, sticky notes, or whiteboards where you’ll see them.

Creating grocery lists or other simple reminders are mundane tasks no one wants to handle. Others may be a list of your goals or a complete vision board. You use all these for visual cues of things you want to do today or a year from now.

Making lists is a standard brain behavior of a rational thinker. Although you have an excellent memory, lists give you a sense of logic and order. You feel more confident and gratified as you check off each accomplishment.

10. A Rational Thinker Does Not Stay Stuck in the Past

You can learn invaluable lessons and cherish sweet memories from the past. However, constantly dwelling on the past can prevent you from living in the present. It can create cognitive distortions that can cause negative thinking.

Are your thoughts stuck in a toxic experience or relationship from the past? They may hinder you from enjoying positive ones today and in the future. Logical thinking can take you beyond the past and help you focus more on the present.

Logical thinkers can reminisce and visit the past without pitching a tent there. You realize the significance of being present. Some tools that can help you are meditation, yoga, or other mindful practices, like journaling.

11. A Love for Games of Logic

All work and no play can even make a rational thinker bored. Sometimes, it’s good to close shop and spend quality time with family and friends. Your body and mind could use a little relaxation.

Do you spend your leisure time playing sports or enjoying other hobbies? Maybe you’re into games of chance, like cards or blackjack. Perhaps you might like to play board or other competitive games with your family or friends.

Some board games are more complicated and require skill, strategy, logic, and appeal to rational thinkers. These can include chess or trying to solve brain teasers. You may be relaxing and having fun, but you’re giving your mind some beneficial exercise.

12. The Rational Thinker Never Stops Learning

Many teenagers can’t wait to graduate and be done with school. The ones who go to college might also anticipate leaving their studies behind them. However, life is perpetual learning for rational thinkers like you.

You’ve never lost your curiosity, no matter how many degrees, certificates, and experiences you’ve had. You’re probably an avid reader and can discuss various subjects intelligently. You take time to listen to people from other walks of life and discover new perspectives.

rational thinker

Final Thoughts on Habits of a Rational Thinker

Thinking logically and making sound decisions is commendable, showing good brain behavior. However, your thoughts are also wrapped in feelings and intuition. Having the wisdom to keep both aspects balanced makes the difference.

12 Signs of a One-Sided Romance

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It’s often said that relationships take everyone equally working to make it work. If you’re genuinely invested in each other, you want to give 100 percent of yourself to your partner. Consequently, what happens when one person is giving their all, but the other isn’t giving as much to the romance? A one-sided romance occurs when there’s an imbalance, and one person tries harder than the other.

It takes both of you to keep the connection alive, and when there’s one party trying harder than the other, it’s unfair, exhausting, and makes you insecure.

Twelve Red Flags of a One-Sided Romance

There are many reasons why you may find yourself in a one-sided relationship. The other party may not be able to handle all the aspects of being a couple, so they don’t participate as much. They may carry scars from childhood that prevent them from entirely investing in your connection, and they could have lost faith that you will work.

Sometimes, you’ve outgrown the relationships, and it’s time to move on. Here are some red flags that can indicate things are one-sided.

romance

1. One Partner Stonewalls the Other in a One-Sided Romance

You have no issue sharing everything about your life with your love, but the details of their day seem to be top secret. They’ve pushed you out in every way possible. When you confront them about it, they tell you that nothing is wrong and insist you’re exaggerating. However, they make it quite clear that they’ve put up walls to keep you out.

2. You Apologizing All the Time

You would be rich if you had a nickel for every time you’ve said you were sorry in the past month. You’re constantly apologizing to your partner for the silliest things. They tend to be overly critical of you, which makes you feel immense guilt.

If anyone makes you feel less than and belittles you, they’re not worth your time or energy. Even with counseling, a tiger can’t change their stripes. You must love yourself enough to know when you leave a toxic situation.

3. They Downplay Your Thoughts and Feelings

It’s evident that there are issues in your relationship, but they act like everything is sunshine and roses. It seems that you’re the one that protests a bit too much. They tend to stay numb to what’s going on, and when you try to talk to them, they act like it’s a bother. You feel annoying to them because they don’t seem to have the same concerns as you do.

4. You Make All the Efforts in a One-Sided Romance

You want the romance between you to stay alive and fresh, so you send out texts, try to make sweet gestures, and go out of your way, so they know they’re loved. The sad part is they do none of it in return. When you bring up the fact that they seem to be distant and not involved, they promise the moon, but nothing ever changes.

5. You Make Excuses for Their Behavior

When someone else points out that you’re in a one-sided romance and there’s an imbalance of effort between you, you jump into defense mode. You might be angry with them and think things should change, but you won’t let anyone else talk bad about them. You defend their behavior no matter how wrong it may be.

Though it’s not healthy to defend someone acting selfish, Berkley University’s Great Good Science Center reminds you that the mercy you show to others will boomerang back to you. Though this person may not be worthy of such kindness, when you show such warmth and affection to someone else, it shows your true character as a human being.

6. You Can’t Count on Your Partner in a One-Sided Romance

You always thought your partner was one person you could count on in your life. They were there for you day or night and gave loving support. These days, they seem to be distant or not around at all. They don’t give you the love and support you once had, and they don’t even seem to care that it’s gone.

7. They Refuse to Say, “I Love You” In Return

You’re the dutiful partner who’s always trying to show affection. You tell them that you love them as anyone who is in love should do. Sadly, whenever you say these three words, all you get in return is mumbling or the cold shoulder. You can’t remember the last time they told you that they loved you in return.

relationship

8. You’re No Longer Important in a One-Sided Romance

When you’re in love, you try to make each other happy. Sadly, they could care less about your feelings. You’re no longer their priority. Even if they take you somewhere, it’s just to make you leave them alone and stop nagging about how things are going so wrong. You must force your way in if you want any attention from them.

9. You Love Them and Keep Trying Regardless

The imbalance in your relationship hurts, but it doesn’t stop you from caring about them. You’re doing everything you know to make them happy, but the one-sided relationship is hard to manage. You’re bearing all the responsibility for things, and trying to make it work by yourself is agonizing.

10. In a One-Sided Relationship, You Feel Like an Obligation

Everything you say or do feels like you’re troubling them. Rather than being an equal partner in this romance, you’re an obligation. The imbalance between you is undeniable, and it’s tearing you up inside. You went from being the center of their attention to being a nuisance, or that’s how it feels.

11. They’ve Become Selfish

If your partner isn’t putting you first anymore, they’re putting themselves in the front position. When you talk to them about it, they tell you it’s their issue and nothing you’re doing wrong.

They’re eager to take the blame for how things are, but they’re not as keen to fix it. They’ve become quite selfish with their time and the energy they put into things, but it’s not changing.

12. In a One-Sided Romance, Your Relationship Partner Causes So Much Stress

Dealing with a one-sided relationship makes you stressed all the time. You’re so afraid they will leave you that you can’t even concentrate on your job or anything else. You often find yourself playing the guessing game about their affections towards you.

You know constant pressure is a killer, yet you don’t know how to get off the merry-go-round. According to the Cleveland Clinic, unmanaged or prolonged stress can wreak havoc on your body, so you must find a way to resolve these conflicts. According to the article, stress can impact your heart, lungs, skin and hair, gut health, and even immunity. This is in addition to the mental health aspects that come to play when you’re under constant pressure.

Handling a One-Sided Romance and Knowing When to Walk Away

Losing someone you love so much may be terrifying for you. Walking away from someone you believe is your soul mate can be challenging. If this person doesn’t love you back the way you need to be loved, there will always be an imbalance.

The one-sided romance between you two will drive you mad, especially if you’re the one putting in all the effort. It’s easy to be miserable and stay as change is difficult. Even decades ago, many women wouldn’t consider divorce because they didn’t make enough money to support themselves.

Things have evolved as people aren’t as apt to stay for the kids or money as much as in times past. If they’re willing to go to counseling and work on the issues, you can be brave and try to tough it out. However, if you stay in this toxic situation, it makes you increasingly vulnerable.

Another problem is that the person giving so much to make things work will often keep a mental scorecard. They keep track of all their partner’s transgressions and want to settle this imbalance. While you certainly can’t blame yourself for feeling this way, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

You know in your heart if it’s time to end a one-sided relationship. The romance is likely at a dead-end, and there’s no way to turn around and go back. When you see these red flags and warning signs that things are over, putting off the inevitable is only hurting you even more.

one-sided romance

Final Thoughts on One-Sided Romances

Unrequited love is one of the most painful things you can go through in a relationship. You love your partner with all your heart, but the passion and devotion they give in return just don’t measure up. When you’re in these situations, the imbalance of love and affection will drive you mad.

Remember that all relationships go through ebbs and flows after you’ve been together for a while. Just because things have become challenging doesn’t mean they can’t be fixed. Give your relationship and your partner a concerted effort to make things work. If you’ve given all you can and things aren’t improving, then learning to cut the strings is better for your overall well-being.

11 Food Allergies to Never Ignore (And How to Spot Them)

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A food allergy is a response by your immune system which triggers histamines to protect it. After this, your body remembers a food that started your immune system. When you eat that food again, your histamine response gets automatically. Diagnosing food allergies isn’t easy, but here is some information on how to pinpoint allergy symptoms. 

What are the most common food allergies?

According to the Department of Health and Human Services, in the U.S., the most common food allergies include:

  • Tree nuts
  • Peanuts
  • Eggs
  • Shellfish
  • Fish
  • Cow’s milk
  • Wheat
  • Soy

food allergy symptoms

Eleven Food Allergy Symptoms and How to Pinpoint Them

Allergies often appear in childhood, but they can start at any age.  Here are the most frequent indicators.

1. Anaphylaxis

Anaphylaxis is a severe reaction to something you eat. It starts shortly after you eat and gets worse quickly. The symptoms of anaphylaxis are often the same as the less severe reactions, but it can include symptoms such as:

  • Breathing problems
  • Swollen tongue
  • Feeling of tightness in our chest
  • Having a hard time swallowing or speaking
  • Dizziness or faint
  • Total collapse

An anaphylactic reaction is a medical emergency. Without prompt treatment, it’s a life-threatening situation. If you think someone is having an anaphylactic response, dial 911. 

2. Rashes 

Food allergy symptoms may affect your skin. A bumpy, red rash appears shortly after you eat or come in contact with a particular food. The inflammation may be around your mouth, face, neck, or anywhere the food touches your skin. You may also have a rash on other parts of your body. 

Eczema is a common food allergy rash. Your skin turns red, scaly, and itchy with a purplish or ashen hue. It comes from immune system response, environmental triggers, genetics, or stress. If you have eczema, your immune system reacts to anything from minor irritants to food allergies. 

Follow an Elimination Diet if You See a Rash or Other Food Allergy Symptoms

Eczema food allergy reactions can occur minutes to hours after you eat a particular food, but late eczema reactions can occur from one hour to two days later. You can try an elimination diet to figure out what’s causing this reaction. Avoid eating the common foods that cause eczema. After several days of eliminating these foods, slowly add each food back into your diet. Watch for reactions up to two days after you eat food. If no response occurs, try adding another food. If your symptoms worsen after eating a particular food, avoid it. You can add it to your diet later to see if your eczema flares up. Common foods that trigger eczema include:

  • Dairy
  • Eggs
  • Wheat
  • Soy
  • Citrus 
  • Nuts
  • Certain spices like cloves, cinnamon, or vanilla

Individuals with dyshidrotic eczema, a skin reaction that appears on their hands and feet, should eliminate nickel foods. Nickel is a trace mineral found in the soil, which transfers into foods. Here are some foods high in nickel you should know:

  • Canned meats
  • Beans
  • Lentils
  • Peas
  • Soybeans
  • Chocolate
  • Nuts
  • Seeds
  • Shellfish

Some eczema sufferers are sensitive to birch pollen. Foods that cause reactions because of exposure to this pollen include:

  • Carrots
  • Celery
  • Green apples
  • Hazelnuts
  • Pears

3. Hives

Hives are another skin allergy symptom characterized by red welts or bumps. It’s called acute urticaria if it lasts up to six weeks and chronic urticaria if it goes on for over six weeks. Common foods that cause hives are the following:

  • Nuts
  • Peanuts
  • Eggs
  • Shellfish

If you’re allergic to latex, these foods will also trigger hives, including:

  • Mangos
  • Chestnuts
  • Bananas
  • Kiwis
  • Bananas

Hives usually appear within one hour of eating food. 

4. Itchiness or swelling in your mouth can be food allergy symptoms

If you have pollen allergies, you may also react to certain foods. Pollen allergies cause itching or swelling in your mouth, throat, or tongue. Not everyone with pollen allergy experiences these symptoms. If you’re allergic to these pollens, here are some common foods you should avoid:

  • Grass pollen: Celery, tomatoes, peaches, melons
  • Ragweed pollens: Bananas, melons, cucumbers, zucchini, sunflowers, artichokes, echinacea tea
  • Birch pollen: Plums, pear, peach, almonds, apples, celery, cherry, hazelnut, kiwi 

Besides eliminating these foods, you can use natural antihistamines to help control your pollen allergies. Here are a few common natural antihistamines:

  • Vitamin C
  • Probiotics
  • Stinging nettle
  • Bromelain-an enzyme 
  • Alternative ways to help relieve your pollen allergies are
  • Acupuncture
  • Nasal irrigation
  • Exercise

5. Asthma and wheezing can come from allergies to food

Foods rarely cause an asthma attack, but the allergic symptoms are like asthmatic. One man developed wheezing and a cough from eating onions. As it turned out, he was allergic to mold, which grew on the onion peels. Simply eating the onion caused him a respiratory reaction. Foods that may cause an asthmatic response are these:

  • Dairy
  • Eggs
  • Peanuts
  • Wheat
  • Shrimp
  • Fish
  • Tree nuts

6. Dizziness

Weirdly enough, you can have cardiac symptoms from food allergies. Cardiac symptoms include: 

  • Dizziness
  • Looking sick
  • Drop in your blood pressure
  • Loss of consciousness (severe)

It’s difficult to tell if you’re experiencing a severe reaction, but if you’re feeling these things, you may have a more severe reaction than you think. Please don’t ignore these symptoms because they could be symptoms of other medical problems. 

You can also have an anaphylactic shock response or a combination of allergy symptoms, like hives and rash, combined with the above symptoms. 

allergies

7. Stomach pain or diarrhea

Stomach problems because of food allergies are hard to spot. You might think you have food poisoning or simply a gastrointestinal bug. But if you continue to have symptoms, especially when you eat a particular food, there is a good chance you have a food allergy. Gastrointestinal symptoms caused by a food allergy can be.

  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhea
  • Stomach pain

The most common foods that cause this type of allergic reaction are the following:

  • Milk
  • Wheat
  • Soy
  • Shellfish
  • Fish
  • Peanuts
  • Tree nuts
  • Eggs

8. Skin growths and other reactions

There were situations when people who got a tattoo developed a strange-looking skin tumor or growth. It usually happens several months after you get a new tattoo. It turns out to be more common than you think, and it’s an allergy to the ink associated with the tattoo. Your immune system detects a foreign substance, and it triggers a response. 

Although not as strange as a skin tumor, some food dyes cause allergic reactions. Here are some frequent natural food dyes that cause food allergy symptoms. 

  • Carmine: A red food dye that’s derived from an insect. This food dye is in red yogurt, popsicles, and drinks. 
  • Saffron: Saffron is a yellow dye cultivated from plants in Iran, France, Spain, parts of India, and Italy. You might find it in butter, cheese, sausage, and margarine. 
  • Annatto: This yellow dye is from a tree in South America. You’ll spot it in custards, cakes, and other baked products. 

Even though the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends these food dyes as safe, some people are allergic to them. If you notice allergy symptoms after eating foods with coloring, try an elimination diet to determine which shades you’re allergic to. Food dye allergic symptoms include:

  • Hives
  • Headaches
  • Sweating of your face
  • Tightness in your chest
  • Itchiness 
  • Flushed skin

9. Sneezing

Sneezing and itchy eyes could be a food allergy reaction. As your histamine releases, secretions increase, and you’re a mess of itchiness and sneezing. Food allergies that cause sneezing are usually mild. Some common foods that trigger sneezing are eggs, soy, milk, peanuts, and tree nuts. 

10. Red buttocks

It’s embarrassing, but some food allergies give you a red bum. The bright red rash is uncomfortable and appears around your inner thighs, anus, and genitals. This allergic reaction may link to an allergy to metals like gold, mercury, or nickel. If you are experiencing these symptoms, avoid these foods in your diet. 

  • Foods with nickel: Licorice, buckwheat, cocoa powder, soybeans, soy sauce, tofu, cashews, figs, and clams. 
  • Food with mercury: Swordfish, Tune, Marlin, Orange roughy, Chilean sea bass, king mackerel.
  • Gold: This metal appears in garnish foods and drinks like leaf-shaped garnishes, flakes, or powders. These may occur in cakes, soups, pasta, sushi, wine, and cocktails. 

If your symptoms continue even after you’ve eliminated these foods, you may have a more severe infection, like a sexually transmitted infection (STI or STD). Get treatment right away. 

11. Food allergies mixed with exercise

You can experience food allergies triggered by exercise. As strange as it sounds, this food allergy symptom can lead to anaphylaxis sometimes. It’s called food-dependent exercise-induced anaphylaxis. Also, taking non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) or consuming alcohol may trigger an allergic reaction in people with this syndrome. 

food allergy symptoms

Final thoughts on recognizing food allergy symptoms and how to narrow down your exact allergies

Food allergies are a response of your immune system triggering histamines to protect your body. Diagnosing food allergies is tricky, but there are common food allergy symptoms to look out for. Dizziness, sneezing, red rashes, and gut problems are the most common allergic reactions. If you think you’re allergic to a specific food, try an elimination diet to spot the problem food. 

10 Signs You’re Overthinking Again (and How to Fix It)

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Are you an overthinker? It’s normal for you to have a few obsessive thoughts, as you’re only human. Sadly, there comes the point where these intrusive thoughts consume you, and the issue can become chronic. Overthinking is classic for anxiety disorders, and the same part of your brain that gives you the fight or flight sensation also causes you to overanalyze things.

Ten Signs of Overthinking and How Overthinkers Can Calm Their Worried Minds

Ruminating about every little thing can be exhausting. Your mind never shuts down, and it can make for some long, sleepless nights. Since this is an anxiety-based disorder, it can cause your mental health to plummet. According to the Cleveland Clinic, an overthinking disorder is recognized by the American Psychological Association and is included in the DMS-5.

It’s a sister disease to post-traumatic stress, generalized anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive syndrome. The first step to realizing you have a problem is identifying the key issues and seeing if they fit your symptoms. Here are the ten most common signs that you’re constantly overthinking, and there are some ways to fix it.

overthinking

1. Overthinking Means That You Wear Your Emotions on Your Sleeves

A significant problem for overthinkers is that they wear their emotions on their sleeve. You take the opinions of others way too seriously, and it drives you crazy.

You’re analyzing each detail of events and conversations, and you always think someone is putting you down. If you have an empathetic personality, this will make you even more sensitive to the opinions of others.

How to fix it:

It’s helpful to have someone else to toss around your thoughts with on a situation. A voice of reason can help you to decipher if you ruminate unnecessarily or if you have justification for your intense feelings.

2. You Worry About Things That Haven’t Even Happened Yet

An idea pops into your mind, but the thought overwhelms you. You ruminate about it so much that you get all worked up to the point of an anxiety attack. For instance, your friends and neighbors are receiving higher electric bills due to an increase.

You begin to think about how you will constantly pay such a bill. You remember events where the lights were left on all night, and you analyze the temperature you set your HVAC system at during the month. You work yourself into an anxious frenzy because you can’t stop worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet.

How to fix it:

According to Dr. Robert Leah’s book The Worry Cure, over 85 percent of the things you worry about won’t happen anyway. You only waste your time and energy focusing on something that probably won’t be an issue. Stop catastrophizing events that may not warrant it. Instead, write in a journal, listen to music, or read a chapter of your favorite book.

3. Overthinking Burdens Those Around You

When your emotions are on high alert, and you’re always nervous and analyzing things, it’s hard to live with you. If your spouse is a sensible thinker, they might have difficulty relating to your overthinking ways. If you have this anxiety disorder, you might enjoy working solo, as it causes you less worry about later.

How to fix it:

You don’t want to burden the ones you love. It would help if you found an outlet for all this overthinking. Journaling is a great way to get your thoughts out on paper without involving those around you. It can be the answer to putting these nagging ruminating thoughts to rest.

4. You’re Unlucky in Love and Close Yourself Off

Your soul is very delicate and pure. Sadly, the chances of finding the love and devotion you want are slim. You’re down on yourself and close yourself off from others because your heart is always wounded.

How to fix it:

You’ll end up alone if you push everyone away due to a closed-off nature. Start slowly by letting people in and trying your hardest not to overthink things. You’ve built a shell around you, but you want to crack this exterior slowly and not tear it all off at once.

5. You Replay Every Word of a Conversation

You had a conversation with your boss today about changes in the company, and he informed you that they would be laying people off soon. He didn’t say you were getting laid off, but you can’t help but wonder if you will get your pink slip.

You remember every word and detail of that conversation and analyze each one. You’re under extreme pressure and have already checked to see how much you can draw on unemployment.

You’ve turned the situation into something more than what it was intended to be. He was likely warning you about the upcoming slack that needs to be managed in the company.

How to fix it:

Your boss likely wouldn’t have told you about the layoffs if you were one of the people being cut. When you hang on to every word of a conversation, your mind will make it ten times worse. It’s challenging not to worry, but you must remember that even if you get laid off, you were looking for a job when you found this one.

overthinkers

6. Overthinkers Often Fight Depression and Negative Moods

Your analytical thinking style can cause your mood to drop. It’s called a worry spiral, where you dwell on things beyond your control to the point where it consumes you.

Life is no fun when you spend your days fretting about things that don’t matter or may never happen. It can affect your overall well-being but dramatically impacts your mental health.

How to fix it:

Depression and anxiety usually co-exist and are the perfect storm. It will help if you put more positivity into your life. Try embracing the moment through mindful living. If you focus on your today, your tomorrow will take care of itself. Don’t borrow trouble.

7. The Universe Understands You More Than People

Overthinking can cause many problems, so it’s helpful for the person prone to ruminating to develop a connection with the Universe. Since it is commonplace for you to feel very distant from the world around you, having this connection with something bigger than you can be helpful.

How to fix it:

Getting in tune with your spiritual side can be very helpful if you’re constantly overthinking. Spirituality is grounding and can provide comfort when people can’t help. Read the holy text of your faith, pray, or meditate to reconnect to your Higher Power.

8. You Have a Perfectionist Approach if Overthinking

If you tend to overthink, you likely have a perfectionist approach to life. You’re always in problem-solving mode and often spend your sleeping hours fixing issues. You must break free from this spiral and move to a place where the worries are no longer relevant to you.

How to fix it:

You must realize that life isn’t perfect, nor is anyone that walks on this planet. When these intrusive thoughts come into your mind, you need to acknowledge them and defuse them. Counter the negative thoughts with something positive until you learn to change your mindset.

9. Ruminating Causes Chronic Insomnia

Overthinking can keep you up at night. While you’ve already lived out your day, you replay the events and conversations at night. You can’t sleep because your mind is stuck in this perpetual loop that won’t quit.

How to fix it:

Try meditation before bedtime to purge negative thoughts from your mind. There are also natural herbs like melatonin and chamomile that are known to help with insomnia.

10. Everything Is All or Nothing When Overthinking

A classic sign of an overthinker is that you only see things in one way or another. There’s a right or wrong and nothing in between. You cannot see moderate views, which can be detrimental to relationships.

How to fix it:

It’s typical that people who see things as all or nothing only have one perspective of thinking, and you hyperfocus on this. To switch your thought process, use more moderate language. When these rigid thoughts pop into your mind, counter them with something neutral or in the middle.

overthinking

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Signs of Overthinking

The world around you is full of chaos and confusion, so it’s only natural that you might be on high alert. If you suffer from an overthinking disorder, your mind can become so cluttered that you can’t keep your thoughts straight. You need to find outlets to learn how to let this negativity go.

A few helpful things include mindful living, journaling, meditation, and even yoga, which can all assist with putting you in a better headspace. You don’t want to miss out on love or other opportunities because your overthinking ways are ruining your life. A therapist might be beneficial to help learn how to counter these negative thoughts with those that are more positive.

The world around you might not understand you overanalyzing every little thing, which can push people away. Anxiety can ruin your life if you allow it to, but you can take control and retrain your brain for positive thinking. Who needs all this pessimism anyway?

Study Explains How Teachers Have Double the Stress of Other Workers

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A new survey revealed that U.S. teachers and principals report having twice the stress of adults in other professions. Teachers said the COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated their stress levels as they dealt with staffing shortages and remote learning. Also, low educator salaries and unruly student behavior increased their job-related stress.

The RAND Corporation conducted surveys of public school teachers, principals, and other working adults in January 2022. 2,360 teachers and 1,540 principals who work in kindergarten through 12th-grade public schools participated in the research.

The nonprofit research organization asked questions about five aspects of well-being in the survey. These included frequency of job-related stress, ability to cope with stress, burnout, depression symptoms, and resilience to distressing situations.

Why Teachers Have More Stress Than Other Workers

About half of the teachers surveyed said their primary source of stress included addressing students’ interrupted learning during the pandemic. Other significant contributors to job-related stress included managing student behavior and assuming additional workloads amid staffing shortages.

“Two-thirds of the teachers we interviewed reported taking on extra responsibilities during the pandemic like covering classes or taking additional students in their own classrooms as the result of staff shortages,” said Elizabeth D. Steiner, the report’s lead author and a RAND policy researcher, in a press release.

“Teachers told us that their dedication to working with students kept them in their jobs, even though pandemic conditions have made teaching more challenging. ‘Teaching conditions, not the work of teaching itself’ are what they find to be stressful.”

In addition, teachers had concerns about meager salaries and their student’s mental health. Steiner said teachers reported struggling with depression more than other professionals. They also had more difficulty coping with job-related stress compared to other workers.

Principals reported staffing shortages and the well-being of educators as their most significant sources of stress. They worried about teachers being out sick and whether they could hire enough teachers. The survey revealed that teachers and principals of color, mid-career teachers, and female educators had exceptionally elevated stress levels.

The researchers suggested that mid-career and female teachers reported higher stress levels due to balancing work responsibilities with raising families. For teachers and principals of color, racial discrimination contributed significantly to job-related stress levels.

For instance, the report revealed that 40% of Black principals felt people had different standards for them compared to their peers. 30% of Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander educators said some people thought they weren’t United States natives because of their race.

The Impact of Teacher Stress on Students

teachers

Teachers and principals who experience poor well-being due to adverse working conditions are likelier to leave their jobs. However, those in supportive school environments have improved mental health and less desire to seek other employment.

Poor mental health among teachers can negatively impact students and school districts alike. First, teachers under immense stress may take more sick days or lack engagement with students. Inconsistent teaching makes the school environment less conducive to learning, and students may fall behind.

Also, students with physically and mentally absent teachers may receive inadequate assignment feedback. They may also have less challenging tasks, impacting their desire to learn. If teachers aren’t engaged, students may feel bored and tune out during lectures.

Finally, teachers may leave their jobs if they cannot cope with mounting pressures. Another American Psychological Association (APA) study found that about 50% of educators surveyed planned to quit or transfer schools. They cited physical and verbal violence as their main reason for wanting to resign.

The RAND report reported similar findings – teachers who felt incapable of coping with job-related stress expressed a greater desire to resign. Steiner added that not all teachers who say they want to leave their jobs quit, though.

However, for those who do leave, it creates a ripple effect in the school environment. Teacher termination impacts the morale of students and staff, making learning more difficult for students.

Teachers Need More Support

The survey findings suggest that employer-provided mental health support could reduce teachers’ stress levels. Also, better emotional support might increase resiliency and morale among staff members.

Unfortunately, about 20% of principals and 35% of educators said their employers did not provide access to mental health services. Others didn’t know whether these supports were available to them.

“For many principals and teachers, available mental health supports were not helpful or convenient or were too limited to address their needs,” said Sy Doan, coauthor and an associate policy researcher at RAND. “District leaders should avoid the appearance of treating wellness as a superficial or short-term problem and offer mental health and well-being supports tailored to educators’ needs.”

Even though teachers reported frequent job-related tension and mental health concerns, many still enjoyed their jobs. Most educators also reported having adequate coping skills to handle the pressures of teaching.

To reduce stress levels, some staff members reported wanting to focus more on their core job responsibilities of instructing students. They also expressed interest in fostering positive adult relationships with other educators.

The survey authors recommended district leaders expand tutoring programs, invest in summer school, and hire additional staff to alleviate job-related stress among educators. In addition, they suggested making mental health a priority and ensuring staff members have access to treatment options.

educator

Final Thoughts on Study Showing Teachers’ Stress Levels Twice That of Other Workers

It’s no secret that American educators have highly demanding jobs that don’t pay nearly enough. However, most educators don’t get into the field for money. They do it out of the goodness of their hearts and because they want to ensure students have a bright future. Unfortunately, even the most dedicated educators can crack under the insane pressure of teaching in the modern world.

A survey by the RAND Corporation found that some teachers want to leave the profession due to safety concerns and inadequate pay. The pandemic also caused an upheaval in the education system, and some teachers had trouble adjusting to virtual learning. Staffing shortages also burdened remaining teachers with more work, negatively affecting their mental health.

Despite these complaints, many teachers still reported finding fulfillment in their work. Hopefully, better access to mental health services and more support from fellow teachers will help ease educators’ concerns.

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