Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. However, when you don’t do everything just right, does it trigger frustration or even anger from you? Nobody’s perfect.
So now you should reflect and wonder. Why are you so hard on yourself?
When’s the last time you got mad because you didn’t do something just right? Perhaps it was a foolish mistake that showcased the inner perfectionist. Sadly, being hard on yourself is something that most people do, and it’s completely normal.
However, while it’s normal to be down on yourself, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Part of self-care is learning how to love and take care of yourself, and this includes being able to speak positively rather than negatively.
Nobody’s Perfect… So Why Are People So Critical of Themselves?
According to research by Tech Times, the average female will put herself down more than eight times each day. Even more shocking is that 89 percent of these women are more eager to compliment others before themselves.
Now, this doesn’t mean that men don’t put themselves down either. It simply means that this study showed ladies are more inclined to be critical of their abilities. In many instances, you give the small mistakes in your life more attention than they deserve.
The interesting thing is that you will likely not even remember these minor blunders one month from now. However, the big mistakes are the ones that make you feel like a complete failure, and they’re the ones that stick with you.
You must remember that big or small, your mistakes don’t define you, nor do they make you a failure. It’s a common misconception that your disasters destroy you. Each time you stumble and fall, you learn a lesson that helps you grow and change.
How many times does a baby fall before they learn to walk? Even though the toddler’s parents told them not to touch the stove, they did it anyway. However, they learned that the stove is hot so that they won’t make that mistake again.
If you don’t make a few mistakes along the way, how will you ever learn anything? It takes a “burn” from something like touching a hot stove to teach you what is dangerous. Think of your blunders in life as steppingstones toward being a better you.
Five Common Reasons for Your Critical Nature
Since nobody’s perfect, why do you expect yourself to be faultless? Some experts believe it’s the very foundation of human thinking. However, this thought process is fueled by many things in life.
1. Competitive Nature
One thing that seems to be a challenge for most people is the rising competition to be more and do more in life. It’s a natural part of humanity, but it doesn’t make it easy on your psyche. Why do people feel they need to set the bar higher and higher, and they’re never satisfied with what they’ve achieved?
Sure, each person has an inner drive that encourages them to do better, but it’s not always beneficial. Social media has changed the way people view themselves. No longer are you just competing with people in your local neighborhood, but you have friends all over the world showcasing their accomplishments.
Social media sets ridiculous standards that make perfection seem commonplace. If you constantly compare yourself with the world around you, you will never measure up. Then, once you do get to the top position, you will live in fear because you have so much to lose.
One of the biggest reasons people beat themselves up is that they constantly compare their accomplishments to others. Remember that nobody’s perfect, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
2. Nobody’s Perfect, But Many Still Have Unrealistic Expectations
According to TechRepublic, the Netherlands has the shortest workweek in the world. People in this country work around 29 hours each week.
However, the same article states that the average workweek in Columbia is fifty hours, and Americans work around 41 hours a week. The workweek is getting longer, and the push for productivity and more work is burning people out. Not only does your boss likely have unrealistic expectations, but you also put added stress on yourself to be and do more.
3. The Trap of Perfectionism
The world by nature is very competitive. You don’t need to look too far to see the effects of this cutthroat side of folks. Look at social media.
Everyone posts the best moments of their life on display for all to see. You may see a perfect family living in suburbia, making good money, and living out all their dreams. Sadly, what they don’t show you is the authentic version of themselves.
The problem is these little snapshots of perfection send your brain a message that you need to measure up to their standards. Nobody’s perfect, so why do people try to portray that for the world to see?
You will never be perfect because it’s impossible to reach perfectionism. Even when you reach a goal, you’ll always find bigger, better, and more you can achieve. What you’re doing is setting yourself up for failure and low self-esteem.
Following the tracks of perfectionism will send you in a downwards spiral.
When you set the bar in your life at unobtainable levels, you set yourself up for low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. Did you know that people with esteem issues are more likely to be hard on themselves? These negative emotions can cause you to avoid social settings and be fearful of leaving your comfort zone.
You’ll be afraid to try anything new or face challenges because you don’t believe in yourself.
5. Restricting Beliefs
Do you limit your beliefs in what you can achieve? Self-limiting beliefs will alter your abilities. When you set the bar too high and you cannot reach it, you’re sending a message that you’re a failure to your psyche.
Have you ever used the following phrases when you’ve failed?
- “I am such a failure.”
- “I knew I couldn’t do this anyway.”
- “All I ever do is mess up.”
- “I’m a loser.”
All this negative self-talk is just giving yourself evidence to verify your idiosyncrasies. Your self-limiting beliefs will cripple you if you allow them.
Changing Your Mindset
Why do people not understand that it’s okay not to be okay? There’s absolutely no reason to beat yourself up constantly over things you cannot control. Nobody’s perfect, so stop being too hard on yourself.
Here are some tips for you to practice increasing your self-awareness and stop being so critical.
•Stop making comparisons
It doesn’t matter if your sister has a bigger house and makes more money than you. When you constantly compare yourself to others, you’re sending a message to yourself that you’re not good enough. Trillion-dollar industries were created because of these comparative natures, but it doesn’t make it helpful.
•Accept yourself as you are
There are going to be times when you can’t get done everything you need to do. Don’t chastise yourself when you can’t get something completed, and don’t care so much what other people think of you. Instead of beating yourself up, remind yourself that you’ll try harder the next time.
•Be thankful for your blessings
When you practice gratitude, it lightens your feelings. Being thankful for everything the Universe has blessed you with is undoubtedly the right attitude. The next time you beat yourself up over failure, you need to stop and start counting your blessings. It’s a game-changer that also alters your attitude.
• Try journaling
Developing self-awareness is essential, and Journaling gives you pause to reflect on your thoughts. It’s better to get out all the frustrations and negativity you have inside on a piece of paper. It would help if you had a healthy outlet for your feelings, but you don’t need to beat yourself up.
You know that nobody’s perfect, so why do you try to fit yourself into this perfect mold for a human being? Being hard on yourself is something that everybody does, and it’s going to happen no matter what you do. However, you can choose how to handle these thoughts when they enter your brain.
You have the authority to detonate them and render them powerless. Life happens, and if you don’t stumble and fall a few times along the way, how will you ever learn any lessons you can use? Perfectionism is only a thing that exists in the minds of people, but it’s nothing that you’ll ever achieve.
There’s always the need to do, create, see, and be more. The desire to want more can motivate or destroy you, but the choice is up to you.