Psychologist Explains 20 Behaviors That Ruin Relationships

Psychologist Explains 20 Behaviors That Ruin Relationships

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Did you know that it’s effortless to ruin relationships with toxic behaviors that many people don’t realize they have? That one little lie you didn’t think your partner would ever find out about was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Specific behaviors will drag you down, and cause significant pain, suffering, and unhealthy relationships. The outcome will hold you back from obtaining what you want.

These behaviors can be your issue, or they might be some character flaws you see in the person you love. The problem is that these actions have a toxic effect on your relationship, and they could be what causes utter ruin. A cheating spouse has the power to suck all the joy and happiness right out of you, and you will find that you become sad, angry, and even bitter towards them.

Twenty Harmful Behaviors That Ruin Relationships

You have the power to free yourself from these unhealthy behaviors, and you’ll notice a shift immediately. How you see and interact with the world is vital for your overall well-being. The first step in this journey towards becoming a better you are purging these toxic behaviors weighing you down.

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If you’re with someone who displays such actions, it’s time to reevaluate your connection, as these things can ruin relationships quicker than anything. Here are the twenty most destructive behaviors you don’t want in your relationship.

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1. Jealousy Can Ruin Relationships

A jealous person can be a real threat. According to the National Library of Medicine, a little bit of jealousy can be helpful, as it makes you feel wanted. However, morbid jealousy contrasts with usual possessiveness due to its intensity. People who have severe issues with envy become unrealistic with their demands.

They often want to close the other person off and keep them to themselves, which is one of the most common ways to ruin relationships with this unhealthy behavior.

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2. Playing The Victim Causes Unhealthy Relationships

People who will never take responsibility for their actions are unhealthy in their thought processes. They would prefer to point the finger back at you or anyone else to avoid blame. Under the surface, you will likely find some trauma or low self-esteem driving these behaviors.

3. Manipulation Might Ruin a Relationship

The controlling partner knows how to play people. You might see them as the puppet master holding you by strings and manipulating your every move. They are deceptive by nature, and they enjoy the misery they inflict. Most certainly, this kind of behavior will ruin relationships.

4. A Sense of Entitlement

Some people believe that life and the Universe owe them something. They always feel like there’s a deficiency and want to be repaid. They often walk around with a chip on their shoulder because they think they’ve been done wrong.

5. You Can Ruin Relationships By Lying

The lying partner is self-explanatory. Dishonesty is unhealthy and has no place in a relationship. If they lie to you once, they will lie time and again.

6. Cheating or Infidelity

Cheating often doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t love or care about you anymore. The act of infidelity is more about them than you. However, seeking gratification from others will ruin relationships fast as it’s one of the most common reasons for divorce or separation.

7. Lack of Support

Everybody needs support and someone to be with them in life. When the chips are down, you need that shoulder to cry on. Consequently, the lack of support will do nothing but make you feel isolated and alone.

8. Cruelty

There is never a reason for cruelty, regardless of the situation. It’s unhealthy to call people names or engage in anything that makes you feel less than. Your partner is there to support you and not put you down. You don’t need this in your life, nor do you have to stand for it.

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9. Gaslighting

Some manipulative partners want to make it look like you’re the one with the problem. They will turn things around so that you believe you’re causing the issues. For instance, a cheating partner may manipulate the situation till you think they had no choice but to cheat because of how you were acting.

10. Selfishness

The selfish partner is the one who puts themselves above you. They’re always looking out for number one, and there’s no room in their heart for anyone but themselves. They will often take from the family to ensure they meet their wants before anyone else.

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11. Arrogance

Arrogance will ruin relationships quickly. No one likes to be with someone who thinks they’re superior to everyone else. This person feels that they’re just a little better than others, and their arrogant attitude is a big turn-off.

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12. Antagonistic

Being with a person who is antagonistic and likes to start fights is no fun. Sometimes you want peace in life and don’t want to be with someone always looking for a battle.

At the core of the antagonistic person is someone with an unhealthy sense of self-worth. They make themselves feel better by forcing their opposition or hostility on you.

13. Stonewalling Can Ruin Relationships

The person who engages in stonewalling shuts down when there’s a conflict they must handle. This is an avoidant behavior pattern as this person has poor coping skills. When faced with uncomfortable situations, their emotions kick into overdrive, so they prefer to shut the conversation down or ignore it.

According to the National Library of Medicine, Gottman did a study on this subject in 1993 with 260 participants. They found that a high number of the participants had borderline personality disorder as well as antisocial tendencies. It could be the fuel behind this emotional implosion.

14. Perfectionism Leads to Unhealthy Relationships

Wouldn’t it be nice if you had the perfect partner and life? Some folks have real issues with how the world perceives them, so they want things to look perfect from the outside. It’s unrealistic and will ruin relationships, as it’s impossible to keep up with the demands.

15. Holding A Grudge

You cannot hold a grudge against your partner and expect a good relationship. You must talk things out and clear the air. Holding on to yesterday’s problems will affect your tomorrow, and this person has difficulty letting things go.

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16. Stubbornness

Relationships are all about giving and taking. If one person takes more than they give, there’s an upset. Being stubborn can be helpful sometimes, but when it comes to your partner, you need to be flexible.

17. Ignoring Self-Care

It might be shocking to find self-care on the list, but it’s a bigger problem than you think. Many people don’t keep up with hygiene and other activities that care for the body. It’s not that uncommon, as even some Hollywood stars have been reported to have poor hygiene habits.

Sadly, when a person won’t shower, brush their teeth, get their hair cut, or trim their fingernails, it can cause quite a struggle in the relationship. No one wants to sleep beside, let alone be romantic with, someone who doesn’t care for their body.

18. You’ll Ruin a Relationship by Staying Stuck in the Past

Your past is a place you like to visit from time to time to enjoy the memories. However, you can’t fixate your whole life on what happened yesterday.

Some people are so caught up in their past that they can’t see a future. You need to set goals and have a vision for yourself and your partner, and it’s impossible to do so when you’re preoccupied with history.

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19. Resisting New Experiences Causes Unhealthy Relationships

Life is all about having new experiences and reinventing your life. When you have a partner who resists anything new, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut.

This person is content with going to the same store or restaurant and isn’t looking for new adventures. When one person is adventurous and the other one not so much, it will ruin relationships as there are conflicting goals.

20. Taking Things too Personally Causes Strained Relationships

The person who wears their emotions on their sleeves is always fragile. Anything you say or do may be the cause of their emotional upset. It ruins relationships when one person is always in defensive mode for no good reason.

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Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Toxic Behaviors That Can Ruin Relationships

Balancing your moods and emotions in a chaotic world is challenging, but you don’t want to spend your days with a liar or a manipulating person. However, considering that the person you date also has the same struggles can ruin relationships. Having a healthy connection takes two people working together to fix the flaws and enhance the good.

If you find that you’re with someone who displays some of the toxic traits listed above, it may be time to consider counseling or dating around a bit more. If you have any of these traits above that have the potential to make you miserable and hurt the ones you love, then it’s time to do some soul searching and change your bad habits to break the cycle of unhealthy relationships.

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