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Can A Relationship Be Bad For You? 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Becoming Bad For Your Health

March 8, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Relationships can be both a source of joy and stress. The key, of course, is balance, and being able to healthily handle the stress in a relationship without allowing it to overwhelm you. Unfortunately, sometimes these relationships can turn toxic and impact your health.

A bad relationship can affect someone’s mental health. And mental health can have an overall effect on a person’s physical health as well. Understanding how a toxic relationship can hurt our minds and bodies is a step to recognizing when a relationship has become toxic to begin with.

This goes for all types of relationships, as well: romantic, platonic and familial. Cutting toxic people from our lives is a health decision, and can affect your overall health for the better.

5 Signs a Relationship Is Becoming Bad For Your Health

1. Upset stomach from relationship stress

When you’re experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety on a daily basis, this can cause your stomach to become constantly upset. The phrase ‘listen to your gut’ exists for a reason, after all. High levels of chronic stress can even cause ulcers, if you’re predisposed or you aren’t careful. Stomach symptoms like nausea, indigestion and vomiting can be caused by the high levels of stress and anxiety that is being caused by your toxic relationship. Medication can help calm the symptoms temporarily. But cutting toxic people will out of your life will improve your overall health quickly, and more permanently.

2. Substance abuse

If you’re constantly upset from a toxic relationship, you may find it tempting to turn to alcohol or drugs to make yourself feel better. While the high might feel good for a while, you’ll eventually need more and more of your chosen substance to make yourself feel better. This is dangerous, and can lead to substance abuse problems. Heavy use of drugs and alcohol can also lead to more anxiety and stress, as well as doing – sometimes irreparable – damage on your body. Be honest with yourself about how often and for what reason you use substance to cope – you may need help to get back on track, as well as help to step away from the toxicity that influenced you to abuse substances in the first place.

“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you…” – Bryant McGill

3. Poor sleep schedule

The stress from a toxic relationship can disrupt your sleeping patterns, as well as the quality of sleep you get. You may find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep. Or, you may find that you’re unable to fall asleep, and spend your days in a sleepy haze. Lack of sleep can become dangerous, and lead to a whole host of physical problems if you’re unable to get the sleep your body needs to function on a day-to-day basis. Locating the source of the stress, and dealing with it or removing it from your life, will make your sleep habits start to return to normal – even if that stress means ending a relationship or friendship.

4. Your immune system is compromised

A toxic relationship can cause stress so severe that it messes with your immune system, which means you’re prone to getting sick more often than you usually do. If you find that your relationship is so stressful that you’re battling your third cold of the month, you may want to reconsider that relationship. Your body can only put up with so much, and your immune system needs to be able to function properly. Anxiety and stress will suppress your immune system, and lead to a chronic array of illnesses that you just can’t seem to shake.

5. Your face starts breaking out

Stress is absolutely linked to acne. Your hormone receptors are hard at work when your body is suffering through chronic stress. As a result, it can lead to your skin producing more oil than usual. This can cause more pimples and blemishes in your skin. Stress can also cause you to pick at your skin, which will only cause your skin to worsen. If you’re surrounded by toxic people, or suffering through a stressful and toxic relationship, you may first notice it when you break out more often than you’re used to. The best way to get rid of your stress pimples, is to get rid of your stress. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

Taking into consideration how your health has declined after meeting or engaging in a relationship with a toxic person can help you recognize just when it’s time to get out. Listen to your body – it knows best, after all. When you cut ties with a toxic person, you’ll start to feel all of your facilities start to function better. Your mind will be healthier, and so will your body. From your stomach, to your mind, to your skin, your body will be able to function better when it isn’t overloaded with stress.

Therapists Explain 8 Ways To Deal With Loneliness And Avoid Depression

March 8, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Everyone struggles with loneliness at one point or another in their lives. It can feel like you’re trying to breathe underwater. The often accompanying depression can be even worse. Even if you’re surrounded by friends and family, sometimes the loneliness creeps in. It can happen after a bad breakup, a divorce, or even the death of someone you hold dear.

According to Dr. Pamela Qualter, “While social isolation is an objective measure of how much we interact with others, loneliness is a subjective experience related to whether we feel we have enough friends or have good quality relationships.” Loneliness can feel impossible to escape from. Luckily, it doesn’t have to last forever. Learning how to handle and deal with loneliness will allow you to process the accompanying feelings, and then learn to move on.

Here are 8 ways to break free from loneliness (and avoid depression)

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” Gretchen Rubin

1. ACCEPT THAT THERE’S NO EASY FIX

If you came here seeking a 24-hour fix to loneliness, you won’t find it. But that’s okay! It shouldn’t be quick. Giving yourself time is the most important part of learning how to break free from loneliness. When you allow yourself time to feel your emotions, you learn to be patient and kind with yourself. These positive feelings and coping skills mean that you’ll be better equipped to handle the waves of loneliness.

2. ASSESS YOUR LONELINESS

Learning to assess what is making you feel lonely is the next step to breaking free from the overwhelming feeling. Is it a break up? Is it the death of a close friend or family member? Once you’re able to access that loneliness, you’ll have the knowledge you need to seek help moving past it.

According to Dr. Eric Maisel, “Nothing causes more emotional distress than the thoughts we think. We must do a better job than we usually do of identifying the thoughts that don’t serve us, disputing them and demanding that they go away, and substituting more useful thoughts.”

If you’re unable to pinpoint what it is that’s making you feel lonely, talking to a therapist can help you bounce ideas back and forth and maybe find what’s hiding deep in your subconscious that’s making you feel this way.

3. REMEMBER: LONELINESS IS JUST A FEELING

While it may feel overwhelming and unpleasant, your loneliness is just a feeling. It isn’t a state of being or a fact of life. When you’re able to conceptualize your loneliness as a feeling that can and will pass, you’ll be able to work on simply feeling it – and then, when it’s over, letting it go. Don’t allow the feeling of loneliness to trick you into thinking that it’ll never go away. It will, and you’re strong enough to move past it.

4. REACH OUT TO YOUR LOVED ONES

Building a support network in your time of need is one of the most proactive things you can do to combat the feeling of loneliness. As cognitive behavior therapist Ratna Golaknath mentions, “This is something I have struggled with in my difficult periods, but the truth is, we need to let others in. Remember there are people around you who are concerned and want to help. Just as you would want to be there for them, they want to be there for you.”

Your loved ones will be able to reassure you, validate your feelings, and most of all offer comfort and distractions. While it may be tempting to keep yourself locked away inside with nothing but the television for company, this is only going to exacerbate your feeling of loneliness.

5. TALK TO A THERAPIST OF COUNSELOR

Family and friends can sometimes be too biased to help us access our feelings, and they may not have the background necessary to offer sound advice. A therapist or counselor can give you tools and coping mechanisms to deal with your loneliness. A therapist can also offer an outside perspective that we won’t be able to get with friends or family. Therapists are also great at playing the devil’s advocate and forcing us to really examine why we feel the way we do.

6. PRACTICE SELF-AWARENESS

This is something that a therapist or counselor can help you with if you don’t know where to start. Self-awareness means that you’re able to become aware of what triggers your feelings of loneliness, and then understand how your mind and body react to those situations and feelings. This process will help you gain better control of the loneliness so you can process your emotions.

7. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

It doesn’t have to be with a large group of people, or even one other person. Go to the art museum or see a movie by yourself. Learning to be alone and having fun by yourself will help combat that feeling of loneliness. Getting out of the house and allowing your body to move will help clear your mind. It may even distract you from your feelings and give you some relief.

8. KEEP TRYING

Always keep trying. Even if your loneliness persists for months and it feels like it’s never going to stop: always keep trying. Because each day that you keep trying is another day that you’re working towards getting better and breaking free of your loneliness. So, no matter how hard it feels: keep trying.

Loneliness can be overwhelming, but there’s no reason that you have to suffer alone. Having the tools to overcome your feelings is the first step to breaking free. Before you know it, you’ll wake up one day and find that the persistent loneliness is nothing more than a memory of a sadder time in your life.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

References:
We asked experts how to combat feeling lonely and isolated http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/03/we-asked-experts-how-to-combat-feeling-lonely-and-isolated-6484232/
10 Tips for Emotional Healing https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rethinking-mental-health/201309/10-tips-emotional-healing
Ask the Experts: Learning to be Kind to Yourself When You’re Low http://healthcollective.in/entries/ask-the-experts/learning-to-be-kind-to-yourself

7 Deficiencies Almost Everyone Has (And Doesn’t Know About)

March 8, 2018 by Kristen Lawrence

We need a certain amount of various nutrients daily; vitamins and minerals, in particular, are crucial elements to nearly every critical biological process in the human body. Given how much food the average American consumes, it’s astonishing to think that we’d have any problem acquiring the appropriate nutrients. However, we do have several nutritional deficiencies that are strangely common.

“Nutrient deficiencies alter bodily functions and processes at the most basic cellular level.” ~ Tricia L. Psota, Ph.D., RDN

Don’t Overlook Deficiencies of These Essential Nutrients

1. Iron Deficiency

Iron is the main component of red blood cells. It binds to the substance hemoglobin and transports oxygen throughout the body.

There are two dietary varieties of iron: heme and non-heme. Heme iron is easily absorbed and is mainly found in animal foods, especially red meat. However, non-heme iron is more common. You can find it in both animal and plant foods. However, your body does not absorb it as readily as heme iron.

The World Health Organization (WHO) advises that this deficiency causes anemia, a blood disease. They estimate that iron deficiency is the most widespread nutritional hurdle in the world, impacting:

33% of non-pregnant women
40% of pregnant women
42% of children worldwide

Symptoms of iron deficiency include impaired cognitive function, impaired immune system function, fatigue, and a weakened immune system.

The best sources of heme iron include the following items: red meat, seafood, organ meat, and canned sardines. The best sources of non-heme iron include kidney beans, pumpkin, sesame, or squash seeds, broccoli, kale, and spinach.

2. Vitamin D Deficiencies

Vitamin D is critical for skin and bone health and nerve transmission throughout the body. Exposure to sunlight is paramount to natural Vitamin D acquisition, as the vitamin is created from cholesterol produced by the skin.

Vitamin D is the “sunshine vitamin” because the most potent source is spending time outdoors in the sunshine. However, that leaves people in cloudy regions apt to miss out on sufficient exposure.

One scientific article estimates that an average of 50% of people fails to get sufficient Vitamin D globally. This estimate includes the following:

“In the United States, 47% of African American infants and 56% of Caucasian infants have vitamin D deficiency, while over 90% of infants in Iran, Turkey, and India have vitamin D deficiency. In the adult population, 35% of adults in the United States are vitamin D deficient whereas over 80% of adults in Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh are Vitamin D deficient, in the United States, 61% of the elderly population is vitamin D deficient whereas 90% in Turkey, 96% in India, 72% in Pakistan, and 67% in Iran were vitamin D deficient.”

Symptoms of vitamin D deficiency include these symptoms: fatigue, muscle aches, and weakness. The symptoms of vitamin D deficiency can be vague, however.

Besides the sunshine, the food sources of vitamin D include these items: fortified milk or yogurt, fatty fish (mackerel, salmon, trout), cod liver oil, and egg yolks. It is tough to get enough vitamin D from diet alone, so exposure to sunshine daily is essential.

3. Vitamin B12 Deficiency

Vitamin B-12 is critical for proper brain and nerve function and the production of DNA. Per Harvard Health Publishing, vegetarians and vegans, in particular, may be at risk for developing B-12 deficiency as plants do not produce the nutrient.

Symptoms of B-12 deficiency may include numbness in the feet, hands, or legs; dizziness, weakness, fatigue; a swollen, inflamed tongue; memory loss, paranoia, and hallucinations. In addition, a 2018 article in BMJ Case Reports cites a lack of B-12 as the cause of hyperpigmentation of the fingernails.

The following people tend to lack this vitamin, according to science: 80 to 90% of vegetarians, 20% of older adults, and around 30% of U.S. adults.

The best sources of B12 include fish, chicken, milk, and yogurt. Besides, the best sources for vegans include nutritional yeast, meat substitutes, and fortified soy or almond milk.

4. Calcium Deficiency

Calcium, as we all know, is crucial to bone health and maintenance. But calcium is also essential to nerve transmission. Indeed, without it, our primary organs would not be able to function correctly.

Calcium deficiency estimates: 80 to 90% of vegans and vegetarians; 20% of elderly individuals. And 30 to 40% of U.S. adults.

Symptoms of calcium deficiency include abnormal muscle heart rhythm, bone fragility, and muscle cramps. The best sources of calcium include whole milk and dairy products, dark green vegetables, and boned fish.

5. Magnesium Deficiency

Magnesium is a critical mineral that affects just about every bodily function. ‘Mg’ is crucial for brain function, nerve signaling, bone structure, and enzymatic reactions.

It is estimated that up to half of the U.S. population consumes the required amount of magnesium. Magnesium deficiency can contribute to several diseases, including heart disease, osteoporosis, metabolic syndrome, and type 2 diabetes.

Symptoms of magnesium deficiency include loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and muscle weakness.

Good sources of magnesium include nuts (almonds and cashews), whole grains, dark chocolate, and dark leafy green vegetables.

6. Folate Deficiency

Folate is a B vitamin that is naturally present in many foods. A form of folate called folic acid is used in certain dietary supplements and fortified foods. Folate plays a crucial role in the manufacturing and producing DNA and other genetic material. Besides that, your body requires it for cell division and synthesis.

Symptoms of folate deficiency include fatigue, mouth sores, and changes in the color of hair, weak or brittle fingernails, and dry or flaky skin. Excellent sources of folate include beans, fortified cereals, dark leafy greens, and lentils.

7. Iodine Deficiency

Iodine is an essential mineral for normal thyroid function and the production of thyroid hormones. Furthermore, it is vital for brain development, bone health and maintenance, metabolic regulation, and growth.

Iodine deficiency is one of the most common nutritional deficits in the world. In fact, a German study monitored iodine and found about 33% of participants to have low levels. Iodine deficiency may produce many symptoms, including increased heart rate, enlarged thyroid gland (goiter), trouble breathing and shortness of breath, and weight gain.

So what are the best sources of iodine? Try to include shellfish, seaweed, white fish, dairy, and eggs in your diet.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

8 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Has Low Self-Esteem

March 8, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Low self-esteem isn’t altogether uncommon.

“People with low self-esteem tend to see the world as a hostile place and themselves as its victim. As a result, they are reluctant to express and assert themselves, miss out on experiences and opportunities, and feel powerless to change things. All this lowers their self-esteem still further, sucking them into a downward spiral,” says psychiatrist and author, Dr. Neel Burton.

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Sometimes, the signs aren’t always obvious. However, there are many key signs and behaviors that expose low self-esteem in people. Whether you notice them in yourself, or notice them in other people, it’s important to know the telltale signs of low self-esteem.

Here Are 8 Behaviors Of People Who Have Low Self-Esteem

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.” – Maxwell Maltz

1. Indecision

People who have low self-esteem are often indecisive. They have trouble making choices, and often spend more time than necessary deliberating over them. It could be something big or small. It doesn’t matter. Making a choice is difficult for people with low self-esteem, because to them, it feels like it doesn’t matter what they choose – The Universe is going to find a way to mess it up anyway.

“People with high self-esteem are decisive because they understand that their opinion is worth just as much as anyone else’s even if they are with high-profile people like the President of the United States,” says author Robert Chen.

2. Trouble being alone

People who have low self-esteem don’t like to spend time by themselves. This is usually due to the fact that they don’t like themselves very much. Instead, people with low self-esteem prefer to hang out with other people. The people that they surround themselves with are often used only to validate the person’s own feelings. If faced with spending time on their own, a person with low self-esteem will become very withdrawn.

3. Put others down

If someone doesn’t like themselves very much, then chances are they also won’t appreciate other people’s high self-esteem. According to study author Jeffrey Sherman, “When we feel bad about ourselves, we can denigrate other people, and that makes us feel better about ourselves.”

People who feel good about themselves are often targeted by someone with low self-esteem. These people tend to put others down more often than they lift them up. They always seem to have something sour to say in every conversation.

4. Someone with low self-esteem fears failure

People with low self-esteem don’t believe in themselves. This creates a fear of failure. They won’t even try to reach their goals or challenge themselves because they don’t believe they are capable of it in the first place.

“Perfectionism is one of the more destructive aspects of low self-esteem. A perfectionist is someone who lives with a constant sense of failure because their achievements, no matter how impressive, don’t ever feel quite good enough,” says psychotherapist Christine Webber.

People with low self-esteem will often give up, because at least then they can control the outcome. They would rather be seen as quitters than failures.

5. Easily frustrated with mistakes

As humans, we all make mistakes. It’s just part of life. Most people can recognize a mistake, correct it, and then move on. However, people who have low self-esteem don’t have that ability. In fact, people with low self-esteem become easily frustrated with their mistakes. Mistakes consume them, and they can’t stop worrying about them. Instead of correcting them, they tend to lash out and avoid addressing them if at all possible.

6. Trouble saying “no”

A person with low self-esteem has trouble understanding that people will like them for who they are. Instead, they tend to try to find reasons for people to like them. Being a “yes man” is one of the ways that people with low self-esteem get people to like them.

They have trouble saying “no” to tasks or favors, because “I believe some of it comes from being nice and wanting to be helpful but a big part of it comes from wanting to please people,” adds Chen. Even when they are overworked and overwhelmed, someone with low self-esteem isn’t likely to say “no”.

“If you want to build your self-esteem, learn to say “no” when you really want to say “no”,” concludes Chen.

7. Always saying “I’m sorry”

Chances are, we all know someone in our life who is always saying, “I’m sorry” even if there’s nothing to be sorry about! People with low self-esteem are always trying to minimize the impact they have on people. They tend to apologize for speaking their mind, for talking about their emotions, or even asking for a favor.

“When a person feels worthless, they can start to show poor performance or stop trying to achieve in areas in which they feel defeated: academically, professionally, or personally,” says psychologist and author Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

8. Seeking reassurance

Everyone needs to be reassured once in a while. It’s a good way to get a reality check. However, people who have low self-esteem are constantly seeking reassurance from other people. They need to make sure their friends and family care about them. They also seek reassurance for their own thoughts, often asking if something they say, or feel, is appropriate.

Here Are 5 Ways To Improve Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is something that a lot of people go through at some point in their life. But, it isn’t a permanent state of being. Recognizing these behaviors as stemming from low self-esteem is the first step to improving it. Here are some ways to value yourself.

1. Use positive self-talk to improve self-esteem

One of the ways to improve self-esteem is by using an internal voice that is kind and gentle. Imagine you were speaking to a loved one when you talk to yourself, and your internal dialogue will be much more positive.

“Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. You are, after all, a miracle of consciousness, the consciousness of the universe,” says Dr. Burton.

2. Utilize self-care

Taking care of yourself is a good way to boost your self-esteem. “Activities like painting, music, poetry, and dance enable you to express yourself, interact positively with others, and reduce your stress levels. You might even impress yourself!” adds Dr. Burton.

Take time out of your day to unwind, relax and be kind to yourself. Do something that makes you feel good every day.

3. Learn from mistakes

Instead of hiding from mistakes, embrace them. Learn what went wrong and make a plan of action for next time.

4. Find a support system

“Tell your friends and relatives what you are going through and ask for their advice and support. Don’t be overly shy or reserved: most people do want to help,” adds Dr. Burton. Take the time to connect with your friends and family. A support system is always useful when trying to overcome low self-esteem.

5. Learn to forgive

Self-esteem can be greatly impacted by holding onto grudges. Learn to forgive for your own peace of mind, and for your self-esteem. “No one is ever all good or all bad. Doing something you regret doesn’t make you an awful person, just as doing something good doesn’t make you a saint,” adds Webber.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem
https://psychcentral.com/blog/signs-of-low-self-esteem/
http://www.embracepossibility.com/blog/warning-signs-of-low-self-esteem/
https://www.livescience.com/12976-esteem-racial-prejudice-psychology.html
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/a25866/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/

10 Things People Do to Become Mentally Tough

March 8, 2018 by Power of Positivity

People who are mentally “tough” are the kind of people who know what they want, and how to get it. “We all reach critical points in our lives where our mental strength is tested. Whatever the challenge, you have to be strong, see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if you want to move through it successfully,” says Dr. Travis Bradberry.

“It’s hard to be mentally strong, especially when you feel stuck,” says Dr. Bradberry, but changing your attitude and outlook on life is just one way to become a tougher person mentally. If you’re looking for a way to start being tougher, here are the best ways to go about it.

Here Are 10 Things People Do To Become Mentally Tough

1. No more complaining

It can be tempting to complain about something that doesn’t go right. But complaining only brings your attitude down. Complaining doesn’t help, so the best thing to do is to look for what you can change.

“Mentally strong people are flexible and are constantly adapting. Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize, and capitalize on, the opportunities that change creates,” adds Dr. Bradberry.

Even if it’s nothing, you can control your attitude and your outlook on every situation.

2. You are in control

And even if you aren’t… act like it. There’s something to the old saying of “fake it until you make it”. If you act like you’re in control, you’ll feel much more relaxed and confident. Even in situations when you’re not in control, acting like it can help center your mind.

“The challenges that come along from time to time are a test of our willingness to stretch and change. The worst thing you can do is to ignore the situation or procrastinate in developing solutions. The challenge is here and the difficulty is now. Focus your energy on the present moment; don’t lose what is right before you,” says president of Lead from Within, Lolly Daskal.

People who are mentally tough have a sense of control, even if it’s just over their own selves. Feeling in control is the path to success.

3. Be mindful

Practicing mindfulness is one of the major steps to becoming mentally tougher. After all, when you’re mindful and have control of your thoughts, you’re less likely to have an adverse reaction to stress. Mindfulness can also help alleviate anxiety.

“Whether it’s an emotion, a thought, a belief, an impulse, or something in the environment, mindfulness calls us to approaching everything with a curious, nonjudgmental, open, and accepting attitude,” adds Daskal. Being mentally in control is important when it comes to mental toughness.

4. Practice strong habits

Sometimes, things fall by the wayside. Staying motivated towards your goals can be hard when life gets in the way. But, people who are mentally tough have one secret in their back pockets. They are consistent with their habits. Practice makes perfect, and to be mentally strong, you have to keep trying.

5. Be kind to yourself

How many times have you caught yourself being self-deprecating? People who are mentally tough have a more kind and genuine inner dialogue with themselves.

“Positive daily affirmations can help you develop your mental and emotional strength. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself,” adds Wiki How.

Start treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one. You’ll be surprised by how quickly your attitude turns around when you start being kind to yourself.

6. Break bad habits

In line with practicing good, strong habits, it’s important to break habits that are bad. “Letting go of a bad habit can help you work smarter, not harder. Giving up bad habits that rob you of mental strength, like feeling sorry for yourself, will ensure your healthy habits are much more effective,” says clinical social worker, psychotherapist and author Amy Morin, LCSW.

Any habit that is maladaptive or makes it harder for you to do your best, either mentally or physically, is considered a bad habit. This requires consistency and commitment, though it’s important to forgive yourself if you slip up sometimes.

7. Distance yourself from toxic people

Author Israelmore Ayivor once said, “Fire False Friends as early as possible. Do it before they dig out the dream seeds you’ve planted! The earlier, the better; the quicker, the safer!”

People who are mentally tough don’t allow toxic people to spread negativity into their lives. While there may be some toxic people you can’t avoid, someone who is mentally tough won’t allow that person to affect their day.

“It’s really easy when confronted with a negative person to get sucked into their spiral of negativity. Choosing not to engage doesn’t mean ignoring them, but it does mean maintaining your emotional distance,” adds Wiki How.

Know that you’re in control of your own feelings, attitude, and reactions, and take other people’s toxicity with a grain of salt.

8. Learn to say “no”

People who are constantly saying “yes” to tasks, even when they’re overworked, have a tendency to experience higher stress levels, as well as anxiety. To be mentally tough, it’s important to learn when and how to say “no”.

“Make no mistake about it, no is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, you need to avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” When it’s time to say no, just say no,” adds Dr. Bradberry.

It’s okay to set boundaries and to put your own health and well-being first. After all, you can’t say “yes” if you’re too overwhelmed.

9. Learn from your mistakes

People who are mentally tough don’t fear mistakes. After all, making mistakes is all part of learning. It’s also part of being human.

“Perseverance gives you the ability to face any difficulty, any challenge, any setback without being defeated. It’s better to have a lifetime full of small failures that you learned from rather than one filled with the regret of never having tried,” adds Daskal.

The thing that makes a mentally tough person different from someone else, is that they learn from their mistakes. They embrace them and allow those mistakes to make them a better (and more mentally tough) person.

10. Own your responsibilities

Taking responsibility for your own actions, your own thoughts, and your own feelings is one of the best ways to become mentally tough. People who are mentally tough rarely blame other people for their own shortcomings or make an excuse. When something goes wrong, they say to themselves, “Okay, now how can I make it better, and how can I make sure it doesn’t happen again?”

Final thoughts

Being mentally tough isn’t about how smart, confident or motivated you are. People who are mentally tough develop good habits, and then they stick with them. These are the things that people do to make sure that they toughen themselves up mentally. It’s good to practice any of these in your daily life, whenever you can. Overcome the negativity with positivity at every turn.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered — just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” – Barrie Davenport

https://youtu.be/YzsVx_h8IbA

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

References:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/11-habits-of-mentally-strong-people_us_58efd4a7e4b04cae050dc5bd
https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/how-to-make-yourself-mentally-strong-this-year.html
https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Mentally-and-Emotionally-Strong
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201701/10-strategies-make-yourself-mentally-stronger
https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Negative-People
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/The-Art-of-Saying-No-1545891057-p-1.html

5 Exercises That Boost Your Libido

March 8, 2018 by Power of Positivity

When you are ready to boost your libido with minimal effort, try these 5 simple exercises to keep the fire burning in your love life. The libido, or sex drive, is what motivates us to engage in romantic behavior with our intimate partner. Having a low libido means we aren’t in the mood or just don’t have the passionate energy to get frisky.

Here are 5 exercises that can boost your libido:

1. Kundalini breathing

Those who practice yoga may be more familiar with the term kundalini, which refers to the spiral of energy at the base of the spine in the root chakra. The libidinous energy of kundalini can be aroused with deep belly breathing which releases the energy stored in the root chakra and allows it to move up the spine.

Salutogenic means something that promotes our health and well-being, rather than causes illness and disease (pathogenic). Moving the breath into the deep belly region of the lower lungs helps expand the oxygen capacity of our bodies, improving our energy levels for passionate activities.

2. Pelvic and abdominal exercises

Crunches are not fun, but those with abs and buns of steel most likely have the muscular strength and control to have a lengthy passionate session with their loved one. Our abdominal muscles support the reproductive organs, and we can gain control over the contractions experienced during orgasm by working those muscle groups and training them to respond to conditioning.

Kegel exercises, or pelvic floor exercises, are a type of muscle strengthening exercise that work the internal pelvic muscles that you feel when you release and then stop the flow of urine from your bladder. Stopping and starting the flow of urine allows you to gain greater internal muscle control, which could help boost libido power due to increased confidence and control over the muscles used in orgasm.

3. Stretching

If you think that vigorous exercise is best to boost your libido, think again. Three days a week of gentle stretching and deep breathing may be all the exercise it takes to boost your passionate drive. According to researchers, elongating your muscles through gentle stretching, as in yoga, or tai chi, has been found to increase libido and sexual satisfaction in men.

4. Lose your self-consciousness

Researchers found that being embarrassed about sex is often the biggest problem for libido and sex drive. For women particularly, exercises that focus on the present moment sensations of your body can help you boost libido.

The study published in the Journal of Women’s Health Physical Therapy found “The relationship between sex drive and sexual self-consciousness in men and women is negatively influenced by embarrassment. With regard to self-focus, only sex drive in women is positively affected. These findings could have implications for treatment in settings such as pelvic physiotherapy practice where sexual problems are often presented.”

5. Run (less often)

Most men are aware that low testosterone levels may affect the overall energy level and motivational drive of the libido. Having a high level of confidence and assertiveness in social situations can be important for both men and women to find a romantic partner, and testosterone levels are related to both confidence and libido. Researchers studied immunity and testosterone levels in male runners and found that, although runners had a naturally higher immunity, they also had lower levels of testosterone.

The researchers theorize that runners are using up available energy resources, which means they have less libido energy to use for mating-related behaviors. The body responds to the strenuous exercise of running by reducing the level of available testosterone. The advice here is certainly not to avoid running as exercise, but it is important to be aware that your marathon-like endurance can have a potential negative affect on your libido, due to the decrease in your testosterone levels. If low testosterone is a concern for your health, consider reducing your frequency of running exercise.

Libido-boosting exercises are gentle and relaxed, and they could help prevent the romantic relationship blues and blahs by revving things up. Being centered in your breathing and having an increased awareness of your body’s own natural passionate energy, or libido, can improve your romantic experiences.

Sources:
https://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/6-exercises-to-stimulate-sex-drive/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23522405
https://journals.lww.com/jwhpt/Abstract/2018/01000/The_General_Influence_of_Sexual_Self_consciousness.2.aspx
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajhb.23052/full

Scientists Explain: Parents Who Raise ‘Successful’ Kids Do These 8 Things Differently…

March 7, 2018 by Power of Positivity

“To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, who you are will speak more loudly to your kids than anything you say.” ~ Eric Grietens, former Navy SEAL and Governor of Missouri

Parenting is hard work.

Children, by their very nature, lack the emotional and cognitive resources to navigate life without help. They’ll whine, cry, shout, beg, and complain for no reason. We may feel anger, annoyance, frustration and even guilt for how our child behaves.

But kids will be kids, as they say.

Despite the inevitable challenges of parenting, it is our responsibility to teach and set the example. Not all parents embrace this responsibility – and the effects can be devastating.

Parenting is an obligation that we must take on with the utmost sincerity. Indeed, how we decide to raise our children will profoundly influence the type of person he or she becomes.

There comes a time in every parent’s life when they question their parenting abilities. This is natural, and it is nothing for which to be ashamed.

Perhaps the most humble and righteous thing that a good parent can do is admit they don’t know everything. Being a parent is not something that happens – it is a process. Birth ‘happens’; parenting evolves.

This article focuses on eight science-backed methods of raising happy and prosperous children. As you read through, you’ll notice a diverse set of opinions and topics.

The common thread behind all of this advice is a scientific consensus, from psychologists, professors, social workers, and, most importantly, parents. The science of child development, while not perfect, provides a useful framework from which to operate.

Here are 8 things parents teach kids for success:

1. Develop Emotional Intelligence

Decades of research show that emotional intelligence is as critical to success– if not more so – than cognitive intelligence. Per a study conducted by TalentSmart, emotional intelligence (‘E.I.’) is the most reliable predictor of performance, blowing past I.Q. and personality.

E.I is the foundation of the following skills:

– assertiveness
– accountability
– anger management
– change tolerance
– customer service
– communication
– decision-making
– empathy
– flexibility
– trust
– teamwork
– social skills
– stress tolerance

The most important thing a parent can do to cultivate a child’s emotional intelligence is to model good behavior and E.I.-related traits.

2. Forget ‘helicopter parenting.’

Helicopter parenting, or overparenting, is one of the most significant problems parents have according to Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshman at Stanford University.

Parents who hover around their kids (hence the word ‘helicopter’) aren’t doing them any favors. The same can be said of overprotection.

Giving your child more freedom can be difficult for parents. We love our kids and don’t want to see them get hurt. But, we must be willing to let our kids try new things, fail, and experience consequences; it is essential to the maturity process.

3. Learn how to give praise effectively

Continually praising a child for their innate gifts, like intelligence, makes it less likely that they will apply said gifts to bettering themselves. (They know they’re smart!)

Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford University, examined the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. She discovered that praising children for developing novel approaches to solving problems, even when unsuccessful, teaches them the importance of seeing things through, giving effort, and realizing their intentions.

4. Give them outside play time

The booming tech age is both exciting and novel. But the increasing reliance (addiction?) resulting from overuse of technology is troubling. There is perhaps nothing more disturbing than the child who comes home from school and spends the rest of their evening on an iPad, cell phone, or computer.

Research shows that overusing technology hampers a child’s social skill development, encourages a sedentary lifestyle, and inhibits a child’s academic growth.

When they want to go to a friend’s house, let them. If there’s space in front of your home, your kid should be spending at least an hour or two outside per day.

5. Give them chores

Lythcott-Haims found that one common trait among successful adults is that they reported having additional responsibilities (chores) as kids.

She says “By making them do chores – taking out the garbage, doing their own laundry – they realize I have to do the work of life in order to be part of life. It’s not just about me and what I need in this moment.”

6. Be a bit pushy about school

According to researchers in from the University of Essex in the U.K., parents who have high expectations for their children – and consistently remind them of these expectations – are more likely to raise academically-successful kids.

Researchers note in the study “The measure of expectations in this study reflects a combination of aspirations and beliefs about the likelihood of attending higher education reported by the main parent, who, in the majority of cases, is the mother.”

(Thanks, Mom!)

7. Teach them resilience

Resilience, or the ability to rebound from setbacks, is a common trait shared among successful people. A high level of resilience enables one person to survive and thrive in circumstances that may defeat someone else.

How do you teach resilience to kids? Set a good example, demonstrate commitment and follow through, practice gratitude, and act as a mentor.

8. Teach them about serving others

We live in a highly individualistic and cynical world. In fact, studies show that most people, given a choice, will commit an act out of selfishness rather than the common good.

We need more people who serve others and who act as servant-leaders.

Emma Seppala, Ph.D., science director at Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, says “The best-kept secret to happiness is to be of service to others,” and that “Multiple studies have shown that happiness makes people 12 percent more productive.”

https://youtu.be/k99uas87S-M

Sources:
http://inc-asean.com/grow/want-raise-successful-kids-science-says-9-things/?utm_source=inc&utm_medium=redir&utm_campaign=incredir
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3020114/Teenage-girls-likely-succeed-pushy-mothers-nagging-better-says-study.html
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/Why-You-Need-Emotional-Intelligence-To-Succeed-389993854-p-1.html
https://www.theepochtimes.com/stanford-scientist-proves-compassion-leads-to-success_1997797.html

Science Explains Why Women Are More Vulnerable To Stress Than Men

March 7, 2018 by Power of Positivity

“You need to be able to manage stress because hard times will come, and a positive outlook is what gets you through.” – Marie Osmond

Stress – we all deal with it! No matter what our lives are like, we all deal with stress in one way or another. Whether it’s job-related, or stress from our families, or our relationships, no one is immune. However, women seem to be more vulnerable to stress than men.

According to a study by the National Center for PTSD, Boston VA Healthcare System, Boston, MA, “Substantial evidence indicates that women report greater fear and are more likely to develop anxiety disorders than men. Women’s greater vulnerability for anxiety disorders can be partly understood by examining gender differences in the etiological factors known to contribute to anxiety.”

If you’re a woman, you may deal with stress in ways that are far different from your male counterparts. Have you ever wondered why? Science finally has an answer as to what causes women to be more vulnerable to stress than man.

Here Are 3 Scientific Explanations Why Women Are More Stressed Than Men

1. Hormonal levels

Harking back to eighth-grade science, women and men have completely different hormonal makeup. This is one of the main things that make women far more vulnerable to stress than men. Compared to men, women tend to experience more fluctuations in their hormones than men do, which can make women far more vulnerable to stress.

“Compared to men, women experience much more fluctuation in hormone levels that are associated with symptoms of depression. In addition to premenstrual dysphoric disorder, up to 15% experience postpartum depression,” says global digital strategist, Kellie Marksberry.

While there’s no way to change your hormones, if you find yourself suffering from stress during certain times of the month, make sure to talk to someone who can help you deal with it and feel more positive.

2. Constricting blood vessels

Not only are women more vulnerable to a specific heart disease when they’re under stress, but women’s hearts don’t respond to stress the same way that men’s do. When under stress, the research found that women’s blood vessels constricted and tightened more frequently than men.

According to the American Heart Association, “… constriction of peripheral vessels during mental stress affects the heart circulation more than men’s, potentially raising women’s risk of heart-related events and death.”

Stress causes women’s blood vessels to tighten and constrict more, which causes the lack of blood flow to the heart and can cause myocardial ischemia.

3. Myocardial Ischemia

Sometimes, what makes women more vulnerable to stress isn’t the stress itself, but what that stress causes. Chronic stress can cause damage to our bodies – most importantly, our hearts. Women are more vulnerable to stress because they are more likely than men to suffer from what is known as “myocardial ischemia”, which is otherwise known as having poor blood flow directly to the heart.

“Instead of dilating and increasing blood flow to the heart during stress, in women the tiny blood vessels are constricted, leading to areas of reduced blood flow. Constriction of peripheral vessels can also induce ischemia in the heart indirectly, because the heart has to pump against increased resistance,” says professor of epidemiology and medicine, Viola Vaccarino, M.D., Ph.D.

When your heart doesn’t get enough blood, it naturally doesn’t get enough oxygen, which can cause a litany of serious problems. If you’re under a lot of stress, you want to be sure you talk with your doctor about the risk to your heart.

Here Are 3 Ways To Deal With Stress

Fluctuating hormone levels cause women to be more vulnerable to stress, which in turn causes women’s blood vessels to constrict, which can lead to myocardial ischemia. So, what do women do in order to keep themselves from being so vulnerable to stress in the first place?

1. Exercise

Experts all agree that physical activity and working out is the number one way to deal with the stress in our lives.

According to the American Psychological Association, “Biologically, exercise seems to give the body a chance to practice dealing with stress. It forces the body’s physiological systems — all of which are involved in the stress response — to communicate much more closely than usual… This workout of the body’s communication system may be the true value of exercise; the more sedentary we get, the less efficient our bodies in responding to stress.”

Find a friend or family member who will go on a job with you or hit the gym, because working out with a friend is always more fun! Exercise isn’t just good for stress, either. It’s good for keeping your whole body and mind physically and mentally healthy. You’ll burn off some energy and keep yourself protected from stress.

2. Meditation

While any type of relaxation technique will work, meditation is one of the best to help deal with stress and keep your heart healthy. According to Harvard Health Publishing, “Mental stress can speed the heart and raise the blood pressure; meditation can actually reverse the physiological signs of stress.”

All you need to do is find a quiet place to sit and take some time to yourself to focus all of your energy on feeling calm and relaxed. You can do it in the morning or right before bed. Whenever you do it, just make sure you allow yourself some time to de-stress and decompress.

3. Drink less caffeine or alcohol

If you’re one of those people who can’t start your day without coffee, you may want to start weaning yourself off your morning latte.

“… when used too often or at the wrong time of day (in the evening, for instance), caffeine disrupts the regular rhythm of cortisol… caffeine may be affecting your hormonal balance. But in women whose cells are already insulin resistant, studies show that caffeine exaggerates their glucose and insulin responses,” adds Women’s Health Network.

Avoiding drinks like caffeine and alcohol can help you deal with stress a lot better since these substances can actually heighten the stress you’re feeling. You don’t have to give it up altogether, but reducing your use will give you a head start on dealing with stress.

Final thoughts

Ladies, even if you’re more vulnerable to stress than men, you can still arm yourself against the issues that stress can cause. Knowing the damage that stress can cause is the first weapon you need to fight it! Practicing healthy and positive ways of dealing with stress will keep you from becoming vulnerable.

https://youtu.be/lFdcCXmGpy4

References:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735809000671#
https://www.stress.org/why-do-women-suffer-more-from-depression-and-stress/
https://newsroom.heart.org/news/mental-stress-induced-constricted-blood-vessels-more-likely-in-women
https://womenshealth.com/why-womens-hearts-are-more-vulnerable-to-stress/
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/exercise-stress.aspx
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/exercising-to-relax
https://www.womenshealthnetwork.com/adrenal-fatigue-and-stress/how-caffeine-affects-your-adrenal-health.aspx

5 Behaviors People Don’t Realize They Display Because They Are Intuitive

March 7, 2018 by Power of Positivity

The world is full of intuitive people; many don’t even realize it. The ones who do usually use their gift in their profession or to guide their path in their day to day decisions. But, the ones who haven’t realized it, may just feel like they don’t truly fit in with society. So, what is intuitive?

Intuitive personalities are people who rely on their gut feelings when making a decision. They gather information based on abstract concepts rather than the concrete world around them. They are also creative and thrive on imagination and possibilities. An intuitive also displays these specific behaviors that they may not even realize…

5 Behaviors People Don’t Realize They Display Because They’re An Intuitive

1. An intuitive sometimes feels like they don’t belong here.

Intuitive people may feel like they’ve been kidnapped and brought to this planet against their will. They look around at all the human activities and just don’t really get it. They feel like they can’t fit in and really don’t see the point in trying. Intuitive folks have tried to make sense of the world, but they always come back to the “Why” behind most ideas. They have an idealistic mindset and get frustrated by the large gap between how the world is and how they think it should be. Are they wrong? Maybe not. Perhaps their way of seeing the world can help bring the change needed for a more peaceful planet.

2. Intuitive people live by their own rules.

Because they have a hard time understanding the world, intuitive people also don’t understand certain rules within it. So, they make their own, within reason. Maybe that means working for themselves instead of getting a normal job, or living off the grid instead of in a big city. If the rules seem to cause more heartache than bliss, they don’t really see the point of them. Intuitive people see most rules as ineffective and harmful to society as a whole, so they simply live in a way that makes sense to them.

3. An intuitive make decisions based on emotions.

Intuitive people don’t care much for logic; they’re much more concerned with how something makes them feel. They also tend to be opportunists; for example, if something great comes up, like a cheap flight to another country, they don’t even think twice. They simply start packing their bags and head to the airport to catch that flight. Intuitive people often see logic as boring and limiting; they would rather live in their own dream world where life feels like a carnival rather than a cage. Intuitives trust their feelings above all else, because no one knows them better than they do.

4. Intuitive people have big dreams and imaginations.

Intuitive people are the visionaries of society, always seeing what could be rather than what is. One well-known intuitive was Steve Jobs. No matter what you might think about him, you can’t deny that he had an incredible gift that allowed him to figure out what the world needed and then bring that vision to life. He highlighted the importance of intuition in this famous quote:

“Follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Sure, intuitive people might always be elsewhere in their minds, but they aren’t just daydreaming – they’re putting together the pieces of a future they want to create. And that’s a very powerful ability, indeed.

5. An intuitive person like spending time alone.

Because intuitives like to live in their minds most of the time, the world’s noise and chaos greatly disturb them. They can’t even hear their own thoughts above the chatter of society, so they often choose solitary activities. They don’t see this as being antisocial; they see it as being selectively social. They go out with the people they feel like hanging out with, when they feel like it. Intuitive people like to spend time creating and dreaming first, so socializing becomes an activity they get around to when they have the time.

Final thoughts

Intuitive people don’t mean to be rebellious or “different” on purpose, but they live in a way that aligns with their core values and way of seeing the world. They are deeply feeling individuals living in a messy world, which often leaves them feeling like a mess. This takes a lot of energy out of them, so they retreat to the safety of their mind where their fantasy world full of possibility awaits. If this is you, let us know! <3

Sources:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/sensing-or-intuition.htm?bhcp=1
https://www.16personalities.com/articles/energy-intuitive-vs-observant

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