Forgiving people who have wronged you is one of the most challenging things to deal with in life, especially when the other person does not think they have done anything wrong. When you forgive someone, you are doing it for their benefit, but not as much as it is done for your own mental well-being.
Forgiving someone else makes you the bigger person and allows you to move on without feeling guilty for holding a grudge. Learning how to forgive someone can be difficult but once forgiveness has been granted, you can carry on knowing you did the right thing.
Here are a few ways to help you forgive someone who has hurt you and move on with your own life.
1. Mentally Move On
When you are trying to learn how to forgive someone, remember that one of the best things you can do as you try to make forgiveness a reality is to forget about the situation. The more you allow the situation to take up space in your brain, the less likely you are to move on without feeling a grudge toward that particular person. Don’t allow someone to live rent-free in your brain, instead move past the situation and think only positive things about the other person.
2. Clear Things Up Quickly
A great way to forgive someone and not allow it to dominate your life is to remember the saying in the Bible that states that you should not let the sun go down on your wrath. Before you go to bed, make the situation right and clear the air between you and the other person. You will sleep much sounder and your conscience will be clean as you begin a new day.
3. Don’t Blame Others
In your quest for understanding how to forgive others, consider the idea that you might be at fault. While chances are that the other person has plenty to blame for, try to put the majority of the blame on your own shoulders to avoid feeling negative about someone else. Take responsibility for how you behave in these challenging situations and know that no one is forcing you to act in any way, whether right or wrong. Allow the situation to come to light and the blame will fall where it is due.
4. Don’t Tell Someone How To Behave
If you treat others the way you want to be treated, then the act of telling someone else what to do should never be an issue. If you do not want someone to tell you how to handle a situation, don’t assume they want you to boss them around either. Take a step back and allow free-will to take place on your end and the other person’s end as well.
5. Just Let Go
Learning how to forgive someone includes learning the art of letting go. In life, there are a number of situations that are simply out of our control and the more we try to control them, the worse off we will be. Become a softer and more gentle person by allowing things to roll off your back. Once you are able to do this, your forgiveness will come much more naturally.
6. Accept Some Of The Blame
The key word here is “some”. When you are practicing how to forgive someone, do not roll over like a scared puppy and allow someone to walk all over you. Instead, accept the fact that you might have been wrong in some areas and take responsibility for your part in the situation. Even if you might not feel like you are wrong, be the bigger person and accept partial responsibility for the way the cards fell and learn from these different situations.
7. Do Not Hold A Grudge
One of the worst things you can do is hold a grudge against someone else. Any amount of resentment needs to be let go as you try to move past the situation at hand. Remember that storms are not permanent, and the sun always shines on the other side. Do everything within your power to create a sense of peace and calmness between you and the other person.
8. Always Be Kind
Even when you want to lash out and say hurtful things, always consider the impact of your words on someone else. If you are unsure what to do, always be kind and you are sure to be making a good decision. Sometimes this is a very difficult thing to do but the harder you try to be kind, the better off you will be, and the better off the other person is going to be as well. The old saying of “kill them with kindness” allows you to be nice while giving the other person no ammunition against you.
When learning how to forgive someone, you will find it to test your inner strength and your faith at times. When you persevere, you will be able to face that person in the future with no ill-will as you come in contact at work or within your social circles.