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Research Reveals That Love at First Sight Does Exist

September 26, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Love-at-first-sight is as old as the hills. You hear about it in songs, books, and movies. Does it exist? According to researchers, it does!. But of course, you didn’t need a researcher to tell you that. You may have experienced it yourself. So, what else does the research team say about the existence of love-at-first-sight? Let’s find out.

Research proves that the eyes have it.

Your eyes meet across a large room full of people. You feel an instant attraction, a sudden connection to this person. Is it authentic? Attraction to another person is expressed by the eyes. The gaze may express sexual interest, a strong desire to convey to them how you feel. Your intentions and the other person’s preferences influence how you look at one another. You must evaluate the attraction you feel. Is this really love-at-first-sight or just a passing fling? Acting upon the gaze and feelings could be a life-changer. So, when you gaze into someone’s eyes across the room, you never know what may happen.

You look familiar to me.

According to studies , people are often attracted to someone with similar attributes to themselves. Researchers believe that you can be sexually attracted to your lookalike because you perceive them as trustworthy. You do this by looking at the person’s eyes and facial features. Indeed, you may feel as if you’d be comfortable with them, even though you’ve never talked to them. Perhaps you might even assume you know them. Or, you can sense whether they are sad, happy, or a healthy individual. You’ve seen those couples who look so much alike they could be siblings. It’s not that uncommon. And sometimes these couples act alike, too.

Is there a physical attraction?

You will probably be attracted to someone physically attractive to you. Love at first sight encounters are often based on your perception of physical beauty. Whether this instant connection factors into all experiences, researchers are still studying to understand the concept of love-at-first-sight better. Every individual has a different definition of genuine beauty, and it’s often in the eyes of the beholder. Who hasn’t had that friend who falls for someone you’d never describe as beautiful? But that’s the beautiful part of physical attraction. Everyone has their own definition of it. So, someone who is physically attractive to you is more likely going to be that person you gaze at across the room.

Is it love, or is it lust?

Those intense, love at first sight feelings are not always a desire for love and commitment. Established relationships tend to have these feelings beyond what those who fall head over heals right away. But these brief encounters can make you open to this type of relationship. Love at first is often defined as an attraction that makes you open to a possible connection. But researchers suggest that love may not be a prerequisite for sex, and sexual desire doesn’t always lead to love. Each person is different in their motives and goals when they have that butterflies in the stomach experience. That fixated gaze you’re getting from the person across the room could be expressing feelings of love or just feelings of lust.

Can love-at-first-sight happen more than once?

Some people rely on love at first sight for all their relationships. They look for their feelings to lead them to find the right partner. They may have multiple similar experiences. This is not always the most reliable method to find someone, and those couples who feel instant attraction don not always end up in a relationship. Getting to know someone over time is a more reliable way to build a relationship. But sometimes these very romantic experiences do become a long term relationship, and when it does, it’s a sweet and touching story. It’s what creates the familiar songs, books, and movies that are so popular.

Does love at first sight predict a successful and long term relationship?

Researchers suggest that falling in love at first sight is superficial at best. You might be attracted to someone physically, but really have nothing in common with them. Good chance the relationship won get off the ground. But on the other hand, your positive first impression of that person and the familiarity you feel toward them could lead to a long relationship. It really just depends on whether it’s meant to be.

What if I’m not feeling it?

Often the instant attraction is not by both individuals. In fact, the love at first sight emotion is rarely shared, so don’t feel bad if you’re not feeling it. Researchers found that these experiences are often a one-sided experience. One person has an intense sense of love-at-first-sight. When this person explains their experience to you, you may begin to experience the same thing, even though it wasn’t your first reaction. So, just hearing the other person explain their experience to you can help you have the same experience.

Men fall in love, at first sight, more frequently than women.

Women are less inclined to feel this experience than men. That is because women are often more careful about whom they date. Also, females often prefer to take their time in relationships to get to know the other person. On the other hand, males are more apt to report having this experience many times. This could be because men are driven more by physical attraction than women. And it’s unclear whether these love-at-first-sight encounter men have turned into long-lasting relationships.

Can I feel this chemistry with online dating?

Online dating might inhibit this notion. But don’t rule it out altogether!

It’s pretty hard to look across the room at someone if you’re only looking at their picture. Some couples report that they did feel this attraction when looking at the other person’s photo. But other people suggested that it was more when they met the person face to face that they had their love-at-first-sight encounter. It seems as if these emotions involves seeing the person physically. So, whether it’s by looking at a photo of someone or meeting someone face to face, you do not need to be in a crowded room to experience love-at-first-sight.

Is love at first sight outdated?

Many people feel that love, at first sight, is dated. Or at least, it’s too fairytale-like to be genuine. They feel that this type of love encounter doesn’t happen in real life. While other people argue that a large population of people who maintain that love-at-first-sight exists and have experienced it.

All arguments aside, the naysayers may have a point. Movies can leave you with a that doesn’t happen in real life kind of feeling. Overly romantic stories can be so exaggerated that if you haven’t had a love- at- first- sight encounter, you may feel like there’s something wrong with you.

These fifteen behaviors reveal that someone is falling in love.

Final Thoughts on the Study about Love at First Sight

For some people, the phenomenon of love at first sight is real. But for others, it’s not their experience. To strive for this type of experience isn’t necessary to have a great relationship with someone. Although science does say it does happen, don’t feel pressure to make it happen or feel like there is something wrong with you if it does not.

When you feel an instant connection with someone across the room, it could be that you will be head over heels before you know what hits you. You may feel like you are drawn to the person. It is an experience that many people have, and it can be the beginning of a long term relationship. You can act upon the initial first gaze. But be sure to understand the other person’s goals. If you’re wanting a deeper, more meaningful type of relationship and they’re not looking for that, it could be disappointing. If you don’t have this experience, that’s okay. Not everyone does, yet they enjoy a wonderful loving relationship with their partner. It’s different for everyone. Whatever happens, if you have that love-at-first-sight experience, enjoy it, and hopefully, a relationship will blossom from that simple gaze across the room.

Therapists Explain 6 Ways To Calm A Stressed Partner

September 26, 2020 by Lakeisha Ethans

Everyone can get stressed out, and it can be challenging to know what to do when your partner winds up in a stressful situation. If they have unhealthy or less-than-ideal coping mechanisms, it can be even tougher to understand how to help them.

Of course, with your heart going out to your partner, you wouldn’t want them to experience this emotional pain. But how can you help them out of that place without further exacerbating the problem?

Here’s how experts recommend six ways to calm a stressed partner.

1. Find The Root

Where is your partner’s stress coming from? Why is it causing them to behave this way? No one ever wants to be stressed, so something is causing this to happen, says author and Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., ABPP.

Think back to your partner’s day or current life circumstances and consider what may be causing this stress. Here are some questions to help you in the process:

How has their day been?
Are their relationships with others, such as family or friends, going well?
Are they affected by world events?
Have they talked about anything stressful to you?
What seems to have triggered their stress?
Do they have patterns of becoming stressed in certain circumstances?

When you find the root of stress, you’ll be able to respond better to it and help your partner work through it.

2. Listen To Your Partner

Unless your partner says, they genuinely don’t want to talk about the source of their stress, sometimes lending them an ear can help them feel better. Author and licensed clinical social worker Judy Ford outlines some steps to do this:

· Step 1: Recognize Stress Symptoms

Take note of the way your partner begins to behave when stress mounts. Do they exhibit specific behaviors? They might, for example, get fidgety, snap more often, stress eat, or become withdrawn. When you see these symptoms of stress, you can make your approach.

· Step 2: Approach

If your partner is exhibiting their stress symptoms, try to approach them with no judgment. Have compassion, kindness, and positive thinking when you go to them. Then, ask them how they feel and invite them to talk to you about it, maintaining a welcome tone of voice.

· Step 3: Listen

When your partner talks about their stress to you, you need to genuinely and honestly listen to them. This will show your partner that you genuinely care for them. Active listening is a critical skill and can make the difference between a positive and negative response from your partner.

· Step 4: When You Speak, Default To Comfort First

Most people who talk about their emotions will want to be comforted, not provided with solutions right away. First, offer comfort and give them physical or emotional support. Only after that should you ask if they’d like to find a way through the stressful situation with your help.

3. Be Supportive, Always

When a partner opens up to you, you need to make sure they feel validated. They are vulnerable to you, so it’s only natural that you do your best to accommodate their emotions and show them how you appreciate their openness. Here are some tips for being supportive:

· Being Patient

Your partner doesn’t want to be stressed out, and they certainly don’t want that stress to affect you. If they come to you and speak in a positive and productive way about something that involves you, resist the urge to default to defensiveness. Be patient and listen instead, so keep calm, recommends Whitbourne.

· Ask How You Can Help

It’s essential to ask your partner how you can support them, says Ford. Even if you can’t directly help, ask how you can make things go more smoothly for them or how you could help them feel better. You can offer to do some extra chores, help them run an errand, give them a massage, cook them dinner. The possibilities go on and on!

· Give Them Space If They Need It

Some people need to be alone when they’re stressed out. Don’t take it personally – it’s not about you at all; it’s about someone’s healthy need for me-time. Give your partner the personal space to do their own thing and unwind without your input, suggests Psychotherapist Edie Stark, MSc, LCSW. You’ll be surprised how supportive of action this can be to them and how much it may boost their positive thinking! Just make sure you talk about their needs for space and alone time first.

4. Understand Insecurity Scientifically

Before you can even begin to calm down a stressed partner, you need to understand insecurity as a scientific concept. This doesn’t refer to typical “insecurity” in the commonly portrayed, obvious sense, but more to insecure attachment and insecure defensiveness. Many times, stress is the result of something partially influenced by insecurity. If you’re not careful, you can trigger an escalation of the situation by not knowing how to manage that insecurity.

According to research, a partner’s stress can spiral out of control when they protect themselves from mental distress. This can trigger immature insecure mechanisms that are important to respond to in a positive way to prevent a worsening situation. A person who is using these mechanisms may:

Very heavily fear abandonment.
Become defensive or passive-aggressive
Respress their feelings
Desire reassurance but feel invalidated by your current response.
Experience reality distortion
Feel too overwhelmed to react positively

Partners who experience severe insecurity may benefit from therapy or counseling services, and it’s worth broaching the subject with them if these harmful attachment patterns are becoming extremely prevalent in your relationship. If they happen too often, it can be toxic and cause the relationship to end.

5. Try Working Through It Together

As a couple, you are meant to work through hurdles and problems hand-in-hand. You are meant to be there for each other through thick and thin. Coping with issues as a couple is referred to as dyadic coping, and it has substantial positive effects on the health and strength of a relationship.

This is why Assistant Professor of Communication, writer, researcher, and family relationship expert Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, Ph.D. recommends handling stress in the following ways:

· Learn To Turn To Each Other

When you experience stress, learn to trust your partner and go to them first. Could you encourage them to do likewise? Over time, you will both get better at responding to each other’s stress and will learn to trust each other with the details of your plight naturally. Of course, be aware of emotional bandwidth, too. Communicate clearly about your emotional boundaries when turning to each other!

· Ask Questions

Don’t be afraid to clarify your partner’s position. If there’s something you don’t understand, ask them about their perspective. Make sure you’re being non-judgmental and be clear that you’re asking because you want to understand them, not because you disbelieve them.

· Brainstorm With Each Other

When your partner experiences stress, learn to put your heads together. Discuss options, allowing your partner to lead the discussion, and help them organize their thoughts so they can make their own independent judgments, decisions, and conclusions. Your goal is not to push your thoughts onto them, but to help your partner process their feelings and ideas.

· Offer Your Perspective

Once you’re in brainstorming mode together, offer your perspective of the situation. You may have a less dramatic viewpoint because you’re separated from the emotions your partner is experiencing, or you might have some additional insight or unique opinion. Don’t push your partner to incorporate your perspective – show them alternative options they may not have considered.

· Support Their Strengths

Appreciate your partner’s strengths and your strengths. See how you can cover for each other and complement each other to find the best solutions!

6. Learn From This

The point of life is to keep improving based on life experiences. As a couple, you can both learn and grow from moments of stress and become stronger for it. If you don’t learn from the event, you and your partner may end up stuck in a cycle of stress that you never learn to handle better. Here are some ways to make sure you and your partner have learned from this episode of stress:

· Think Of How To Better Handle This In The Future

What can you learn from this episode of stress? How can you prepare for this in the event it happens again? What triggers do you both need to be aware of? What have you learned works best for both of you, and what doesn’t work at all? When you think of these questions, you’ll be learning and growing together from experience and will be better equipped to face it next time with more positive thinking.

· Explain Your Point Of View

If your partner’s stress led to them lashing out at you or exhibiting toxic behaviors, you need to tell them about it. After you’ve worked through the worst of the stress, open up communication regarding this with them, suggests Whitbourne. You want to talk about how their defense mechanisms hurt you or made you feel and recommend more mature or positive methods of coping for the future. Remember, don’t be accusatory – focus on explaining yourself productively and with kindness.

· Understand Your Own Thresholds And Boundaries

Your partner’s pain can, in turn, affect your emotional energy. If you let yourself be drained instead of stepping away when you need to, you’re doing no one any favors. Ford recommends learning to gauge your stress levels, so you know when you need a break and need your support. Be sure to speak to your partner about this. Remember, it’s unreasonable for any expectations to involve a partner being there for the other at their own severe mental detriment. You can’t help each other if you start suffering, too.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Calm A Stressed Partner

Stress is a part of life. Your partner will end up feeling stressed out multiple times throughout their life, as will you. Learn to help your partner through their stressful times and learn to rely on them during your own. This will ultimately build your bond and make your relationship stronger!

15 Compulsive Behaviors That Reveal Someone Might Have OCD

September 26, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

Many compulsive behaviors can reveal someone might have OCD, and you have to know what to watch for. Identifying OCD is easier than you think, as you will see when you learn the behaviors that signify it.

First, however, it is crucial to understand what a compulsive behavior is. Compulsive behavior is something that a person repeatedly does, even if they don’t want to. These behaviors could cause negative situations, damaging mental health, and still, it seems impossible to stop.

A type of compulsive behavior is OCD, which is short for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. With this disorder, a person does things to relieve anxiety, although the actions may not relieve it at all. This could involve repeatedly checking locks on doors and windows or often washing their hands.

When these behaviors become too severe, it can negatively impact a person’s life. If you genuinely feel that you or someone you know might have this disorder, watch for the following compulsive behaviors.

Compulsive Behaviors That May Reveal OCD

Be aware of these habits that might reveal someone needs to seek help from a mental health professional.

1. They wash their hands more often than necessary.

Those who have this disorder often have a fear of germs, so they continuously wash their hands. They may not even touch anything that could have been contaminated, but they will scrub their hands anyway. Sometimes, they wash their hands so often that their skin becomes raw, cracked, and sore. Recent research indicates that the 2020 coronavirus outbreak may be the trigger of this obsessive handwashing behavior for many people.

2. They continually check that things have been done.

Some people with OCD regularly check things such as the oven, door and window locks, or appliances. Usually, they study things that are associated with danger, but this isn’t always the case. They also tend to check light switches, electronics plugs, and other appliances.

3. They always worry something terrible is going to happen.

They may feel like if something isn’t perfect or done in a certain way, something terrible will happen. This leads to them doing the task repeatedly until they think it is perfect.

People who have this type of compulsive behavior may also have anxiety that something bad will happen without reason. They won’t know what is triggering the feeling of doom. They just know that something bad could happen.

4. They obsessively worry that they will be in trouble for something.

This ties into the last one, where the person may worry something bad is going to happen. In this instance, however, instead of worrying that something harmful will happen, they worry about getting in trouble, specifically.

They fear punishment and often think they will be punished for mundane mistakes. Sometimes the errors they are stressing about aren’t even noticed by anyone else. This doesn’t help them relax the next time around, though.

5. They count everything and have a number they like to stick with.

You may notice that the person counts everything, even if there is no reason to do so. They will be obsessed with knowing how many things there are, or how many tiles are on the floor. Plus, they will likely know how many they have of something and realize if one is missing.

6. They organize things with similar features.

It’s not only that they like things organized, but it also goes beyond that and into an obsession. They often sort items by color, number, height, or other similar features. Sometimes they organize things so that everything faces the same direction, with labels all facing the same way.

7. They are hoarding or accumulating pointless things.

You may notice that they refuse or struggle to throw things away. These items could include old newspapers, broken items, or any other items that will go unused.

They likely hoard because they feel like something bad will happen if they throw things out. Other times they may worry that they will need it again someday or that they will find a use for it. They frequently say that they are going to fix the broken items, but never get it done.

The items they hoard tend to be things of little to no value, but are not sentimental. More severe hoarders even get to the point where they keep trash and live in unsanitary conditions.

Keep in mind that while hoarding is a compulsive behavior associated with OCD, it could also be a sign of Hoarding Disorder. The primary difference between the two illnesses is that in OCD, hoarding is stressful, random, and usually non-sentimental, according to psychologists. Hoarding Disorder, on the other hand, brings pleasure and usually has sentimental reasoning for keeping things.

8. Checking in with family and friends repeatedly in a short time frame.

While it’s normal to worry about loved ones and check in on them, it can become excessive. When someone calls to check in repeatedly in a short amount of time, it could be a sign of OCD. It indicates they have an unreasonable fear about something tragic happening to someone they love.

9. Tapping, counting, repeating words, and other seemingly senseless actions.

When someone with this disorder is feeling anxious, they might repeatedly do random actions. The action will likely have no reason, but they will continue to do it anyway.

They may tap on the table in front of them, on their leg, or any other available surface. Counters will count to the same number repeatedly, or collect groups of items that add up to a favorite number. Other times, they may repeat the same word or phrase over and over again in an attempt to reduce anxiety.

Other repeated actions you may notice include:

facial expressions
throat clearing
shrugging their shoulders
eye blinking

10. They spend too much of their energy and time on cleaning and washing things.

People who have OCD sometimes have a fear of contamination. They worry about germs and dirt, so they clean frequently. They may sanitize a counter that has been unused since it was last cleaned, or wash a dish several times.

In this case, the person is often worried about illness and infection. They wash and re-wash everything, and may still be anxious about germs.

11. Engaging in frequent rituals.

Sometimes, a sign of OCD is if a person is obsessed with moral rules and religious perfection. They may pray excessively, repeating the prayer until it sounds perfect to them. These obsessions can occur due to a fear of not living up to their religious ideals.

They may also seek frequent reassurance that they aren’t sinning or won’t be condemned. If the person attends confession multiple times a day or prays for forgiveness for hours every day, it’s a sign.

Other times, they may obsessively discuss or read about moral ideas. They will go beyond what is necessary when it comes to their morals.

12. They continuously worry about hurting themselves or others.

Even if they aren’t violent, they may worry they will hurt someone or themselves. This overwhelming fear can be debilitating to the person, and they will sometimes avoid people to avoid harming them.

While it may seem unreasonable, it likely comes from negative thoughts of harm. These thoughts are unwanted and unwarranted, but they can’t get them out of their mind. It leads to a legitimate fear that these terrible thoughts could come true.

13. They frequently worry about losing things or not being prepared.

You may notice that they frequently check to see if they remembered to bring something they need. Even if they have already checked multiple times, they will likely do it again. Likewise, they may often get anxious that they are going to be without something they need.

14. They are superstitious.

Not everyone who is superstitious has OCD, but it can be a sign. They likely have a lucky number and insist on having that number no matter what the situation. If they have to use a different number, they will think of it as bad luck.

They may do this in many different situations. The things that are considered lucky will depend on each person. No matter what it is, though, the person will be intensely serious about their belief that it is lucky or unlucky.

15. They get anxious when things are out of place.

Most people can handle things being slightly out of place, but someone with OCD will become anxious about it. Everything will have to line up perfectly, be in the correct order, and be in the place it belongs. Even shifting something a couple of inches can cause anxiety.

Final Thoughts on Compulsive Behaviors That Reveal Someone Might Have OCD

Knowing these compulsive behaviors can help you identify when someone has OCD. Whether it is someone you know or if it is you that is suffering, addressing it is essential. It can feel challenging to live with, but it is possible to overcome and thrive despite the disorder.

Before overcoming, however, it has to be identified. Figuring out what the trigger is and which repetitive actions are involved can make it easier. When you are trying to discern if someone needs help, remember these compulsive behaviors.

25 Things the Questions About Your Parents’ Health Reveal to Your Doctor

September 26, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

When you see the doctor, you may wonder why they ask many seemingly unrelated questions, especially regarding your parents’ health. If you feel particularly miserable during your doctor’s visit, these questions may downright annoy you. The questions they ask about your parents’ health reveal risk factors for you, however.

These risk factors can help the doctor rule out certain conditions or illnesses. Plus, they can be indicators that you may need testing on a particular part of your body. Likewise, the doctor may help you prevent the development of certain diseases if you are at risk.

What the Questions About Your Parents’ Health Reveal to Your Doctor

You should trust that your doctor is asking these questions about your parents for a good reason. They are only trying to be the best doctor that they can be for you. Part of this is knowing the full extent of yours and your parent’s health history.

1. Oral Health

Some genes link to increased cavities in adult teeth. Plus, if your parents had gingivitis or periodontal disease, you are more likely to develop it yourself.

If these issues are undiagnosed and untreated, it can lead to tooth loss. Your doctor might ask you to take extra precautions if your parents had oral health issues.

2. Potential for Thyroid Disorder

Thyroid disorder is genetic, and there are two issues you could experience. Hyperthyroidism means your thyroid is overworking, while hypothyroidism means it is underworking. It’s important to know which disorder your parents have so that you can pass the information along to your doctor.

3. Weight Disorders

Your weight, while primarily affected by diet and physical activity, is also influenced by genetics. The genes you inherit, such as appetite, fat storage, and other things are all part of this.

Remember that even if you have an overweight parent, you don’t have to be overweight. Even though your genes play a large role, you can make healthier decisions and live a healthy lifestyle. Be sure to be active regularly, eat healthy food, and keep your stress in check.

Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are also hereditary. Most people who suffer from these eating disorders have a flawed gene that confuses their appetite control. There is help for overcoming this, and it’s essential to seek professional assistance if you are suffering.

4. Mental Health Issues

Mental health issues are genetic, and if your parents suffered from it, you have an increased risk. This increased risk isn’t small, either, as it’s between 11 and 18%, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

Depression is a commonplace mental health disorder that parents and children will both have. Bipolar disorder is another one that is relatively common to see in both parent and child.

5. Potential Skin Conditions

Skin conditions are hereditary, so it’s common to see the same skin condition in the parent and child. Even acne, as common as it is, is partly due to genetics. While a lack of regular face washing can cause it, as well, genetics plays a huge role.

Common skin conditions, including eczema and psoriasis, are both hereditary. There is also a condition called rosacea that is hereditary. This condition causes the nose and cheeks to become red, swollen, or develop red veins and pimples.

6. Chance of Dementia

Dementia isn’t always hereditary, but there is a gene linked to it. This gene could cause you to develop dementia if your parent had it.

7. Potential Pregnancy Experiences

Most aspects of pregnancy and post-partum issues stem from genetics. The severity of morning sickness is one aspect that is affected. If your mom often experienced morning sickness, you likely will, too.

Unfortunately, your chance of miscarriage can be hereditary, as well. Knowing this risk ahead of time can help you because your doctor will know that you have a potentially high-risk pregnancy.

Your chance of giving birth to fraternal twins is another genetic aspect. Mothers and fathers can both pass this gene to their daughters. It’s important to note that a father having the gene won’t affect the chance of his partner having twins, however.

8. Learning Disabilities

Both genetics and the surrounding environmental factors could play a part in learning disabilities. Even those who are intelligent can experience issues reading, concentrating, or speaking. It all has to do with the manner in which their brains process information, which links to genetics.

The reason this is important for doctors to know is that it can help them rule out other issues. When you are having trouble concentrating, it could be a disability or something life-threatening. Plus, when they know a learning disability is possible, they can help you figure out how to work with it.

9. Stroke Risk

If your parent has had a stroke, your risk is increased. Your doctor needs to know this so that they can watch for red flags in your health. Plus, they will be able to tell you ways to prevent it from happening.

10. Heart-Rhythm Disorders

If your parents have a history of fainting when they are stressed or physically exhausted, it could be a sign. Frequently, fainting on these occasions indicated a heart-rhythm disorder that is genetic.

11. Risk of Kidney Disease

Not all types of kidney diseases are genetic, but many of them are. If your parents suffer from kidney disease, it might be a good idea to be tested, too.

Science reveals an artificial kidney that might replace dialysis soon.

12. Heart Disease

Coronary disease is the number one, leading cause of death in the United States. Because of that, it is vital to be upfront with your doctor if it runs in your family. Many genes contribute to the onset and severity of heart disease. So, the chance of it passing down to you from your parent is relatively high.

Luckily, genetics isn’t the only determining factor. If you have a a higher risk of developing it (and even if you don’t), living a healthy lifestyle can help. Eat nutritious foods, avoid smoking tobacco, and exercise regularly.

13. Reason for Frequent Heartburn

Sometimes heartburn indicates something more than eating spicy foods. There is a hereditary allergy that causes inflammation of the esophagus. This will feel like heartburn or acid reflux and can cause acid reflux if it hasn’t already begun.

14. Chance of Diabetes

Often, it is mistakenly believed that type 2 diabetes is simply caused by a lack of exercise and a low diet. This isn’t true, however, because much of the development of this disease has to do with genetics. Just remember that most diseases and conditions that you may inherit can be avoided by living a healthy lifestyle.

15. Cancer Risk

Cancer is, unfortunately, often linked to genetics. If your mother had breast cancer, then your risk is higher. Your doctor will be able to tell you what to watch for and how often you need to have screenings done.

Additionally, those with red hair and fair skin have a higher risk of developing melanoma. UV exposure plays the most significant role in this type of cancer. So, avoid getting sunburned even if you don’t fit the characteristics mentioned before.

16. Asthma and Allergies

Allergies and asthma both run in families. Some of it has much to do with genetics, but sometimes it’s environmental.

Food and seasonal allergies tend to be hereditary, which medication allergies aren’t. Even still, if your parent has a medication allergy, always mention it to your doctor. It’s better to be safe than for something to go overlooked.

17. Cholesterol Levels

While it’s true that often high cholesterol is the result of poor diet and exercise, it can also be hereditary. If your parents have high cholesterol, your body may have trouble metabolizing cholesterol.

When high cholesterol is genetic, it can cause an early onset of heart disease. If your doctor knows about your family history, they can help you reduce the risk. Plus, if you get treatment soon enough, some of the damage that has already occurred can be fixed.

18. Early Onset Menopause

Most women don’t experience menopause until they are at least 45 years old. If menopause happens before a woman turns 40, it is considered early menopause. This condition is hereditary, so if it happened to your mother, it might happen to you, too.

Other factors that play a role in early menopause include cancer treatments, smoking, and obesity. Those who have epilepsy tend to get early menopause more often, too.

19. Headaches

Random headaches are normal, and everyone experiences them. When you get frequent headaches or migraines, however, it could be linked to genetics.

This will help your doctor know the cause of your headaches or migraines. If it is hereditary, they may not need to do as many tests to determine the problem. Conversely, if you have no family history of headaches or migraines, something more serious may be occurring.

20. Natural Body Type

You’ve heard of an hourglass or pear-shaped figure, but you likely haven’t heard that it is genetic. Even a muscular body type can be hereditary. Your inherited body type may require less or more physical activity to tone and build muscles.

This is an easier genetic factor to see than most, as you can simply look at your parents to know. If your parents are overweight, you might have a gene that makes it more likely for you to be, too. This does not mean you are, for sure, going to be overweight. You may have to be more health-conscious.

21. Chance of Addiction

Unfortunately, addiction can be hereditary. About half your risk of addiction comes from your parents, so if they are addicts, you should be especially careful. This is true for both drugs and alcohol.

22. Vision and Eye Health

There are genes for every aspect of your vision and eye health. Color-blindness for the colors red and green are genetic, as well, and are found on the X chromosome. Women have two X chromosomes, which is why they are less often color blind than men, who only have one.

23. Digestive Disorders

Digestive disorders are commonly linked to genetics. One of these disorders is celiac disease, which causes gluten to damage the intestines. The symptoms of this disorder include weight loss, osteoporosis, fatigue, depression, headaches, or migraines.

Luckily, there is a blood test that can detect celiac disease. If your doctor knows your parent suffered from it, they’ll be more likely to test you sooner than later.

24. Bone Health

Osteoporosis is linked to genetics, as well. If either of your parents has low bone density, you should start taking action now.

Increasing your Vitamin D and calcium intake can help you prevent the occurrence of osteoporosis and bone fractures. Additionally, often exercising by walking or doing strength training can help.

25. Risk of Alzheimer’s Disease

There are a few different genes that can determine your risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. This is why children of parents with Alzheimer’s have such a high risk of developing it themselves.

Final Thoughts on Things the Questions About Your Parents’ Health Reveal to Your Doctor

Doctors mustn’t skip past the part about your parents’ health history. They could miss something important when diagnosing you, or they may not know to watch for a condition. To further explain how important this is, it’s important to know what the questions about your parent’s health reveal.

The next time a medical practitioner at Functional Medicine Associates begins asking questions about your parents’ health history, remember these reasons. They are only trying to determine your risk factors and help you live a healthier life.

Research Shows That Human Consciousness is Both Continuous and Discrete

September 25, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

The study of human consciousness continues to uncover fascinating truths about how the universe works. Even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, we don’t just exist in this universe – we ARE consciousness expressing itself. In other words, we influence consciousness only by existing because we are both the creator and the created. We’ll explain more on this below, so prepare to have your mind blown.

What is consciousness, exactly?

Nikola Tesla — ‘If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.’

According to dictionary.com, it can be defined as:

the state of being conscious; and/or the awareness of one’s existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.
the views and feelings, collectively, of an individual or an aggregate of people:
full engagement of the mind and senses, as in waking life:
awareness of something for what it is; an internal knowledge:
concern, interest, or acute awareness:
the mental activity in which a person is cognizant as opposed to unconscious cognitive processes.

Consciousness even exists beyond death, because you can’t destroy energy once it exists. Everything in our universe and beyond stems from consciousness, or the thoughts and vibrations that allow for life to thrive. You may ask, “well, where do those thoughts come from?” Scientists have not quite figured that out yet, but it’s presumed that there is a higher universal intelligence of some sort directing and creating all life.

As you can imagine, the study of human consciousness is a huge task, and something so vast and abstract takes time to understand. However, scientists have discovered that consciousness exists at all points in time, as we have hinted at above. We’ll go over the study and discuss other facts about human consciousness as well.

Research shows that human consciousness is both continuous and discrete:

Researchers have taken two significant theories about consciousness and found that both have credibility. The discussion goes back to a debate started by Saint Augustine, a renowned Christian philosopher, and theologian. He believed that humans had a perfect union of soul and body, and that consciousness permeated through us. Augustine said that the center of consciousness, perception, and thought lies in our soul and should learn to control sensory impulses.

Augustine believed that souls occupy a middle position between God, the Source of creation, and bodies. In other words, we exist somewhere between the unchangeable reality where existence stems from and the ever-changing realm we live in. Expanding upon this knowledge, scientists believe that we are conscious at every single point in time and specific moments. In other words, consciousness is both continuous and discrete.

Published in the scholarly journal Trends in Cognitive Sciences on September 3, psychophysicists have developed a new model on human consciousness. Their theory combines the ideas that consciousness continues forever and also exists discretely, or distinctly.

“Consciousness is basically like a movie. We think we see the world as it is, there are no gaps, there is nothing in between, but that cannot be true,” said the lead author Michael Herzog, who is a professor at the Ecole Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne (EPFL) in Switzerland. “Change cannot be perceived immediately. It can only be perceived after it has happened.”

Because of the abstract nature of consciousness, scientists have been baffled about what constitutes a conscious or unconscious perception of reality. You might think that in sleep, for example, you don’t have consciousness. However, you know the next morning whether you slept well or poorly, which means that your perception of consciousness continued during the night. Herzog says that most philosophers believe in continuous human consciousness since “we have the feeling that we’re conscious at each moment of time.”

The discrete interpretation

IKEA’s Bully a Plant project proves the power of positivity can alter your outcome.

Some philosophers and scientists believe in the idea of discrete perception, however. This theory posits that humans only maintain consciousness at specific points in time. Scientists do not fully prove, however. That’s because no universal idea exists for how long these points in time last. Herzog and co-authors Leila Drissi-Daoudi and Adrien Doerig combine both theories to create one where continuous consciousness precedes discrete awareness. In other words, an unconscious processing period must exist before distinct moments of consciousness. “You need to process information continuously, but you cannot perceive it continuously,” Herzog said.

He gives the example of riding your bike.

If you fell off your bike and waited for each half-second to respond, you couldn’t possibly catch yourself before hitting the pavement. However, if you combine short conscious moments with longer durations of unconscious processing, you can integrate this experience in your brain. Your mind tells you what you have perceived, and you have time to catch yourself before you fall.

“It’s the zombie within us that drives your bike — an unconscious zombie that has excellent spatial/temporal resolution,” Herzog says. At each moment, you will not be saying to yourself, “move the bike another 5 feet.”

Instead, you update the thoughts and surroundings unconsciously in your mind. Your consciousness decides if the perception makes sense. If not, then you go a different route.

“Conscious processing is overestimated,” he says. “You should give more weight to the dark, unconscious processing period. You believe that you are conscious at each moment of time.”

The authors believe that their new model helps solve the philosophical debate brought about by Augustine. They also think that it will help scientists further their research in different areas of study.

“I think it helps people to completely fuel information processing for different prospects because they don’t need to translate it from when an object is presented directly to consciousness,” Herzog says. “Because we get this extra dimension of time to solve problems, if people take it seriously and if it is true, that could change models in neuroscience, psychology, and potentially also in computer vision.”

More research to follow

Despite this new theory, which could help solve the consciousness dilemma, some questions remain unanswered, such as:

How do we integrate conscious moments in our minds?
Where does unconscious processing begin?
Does personality, stress, or mental illness influence these periods?

“The question for what consciousness is needed and what can be done without consciousness? We have no idea,” says Herzog.

Although this leaves some questions about consciousness still up for discussion, it does shed some light on how it operates in our minds and elsewhere. As we said above, we create consciousness based on our thoughts, but these thoughts originate from outside our minds. We are both the creators and the created within this sphere of the multiverses. We could write a whole book on consciousness, but we hope this short article answers some questions you may have.

Other evidence that we influence consciousness

We could not write this article without at least mentioning the famous double-slit experiment performed in the early 1900s. In the 1920s, the early pioneers of quantum physics discovered that light could behave as either a particle (“solid” energy) or a wave (formless energy). They found this out by passing a beam of light through two vertical slits onto a backdrop.

How exactly did this happen? After being projected onto the backdrop through the slits, the light photons spread out in a wave-like pattern. They called this an “interference pattern” because it differed from what they expected to see – light photons in two vertical lines.

They experimented several times, first using a machine to eject small bits of matter onto the backdrop quickly. The first time, the experiment went exactly as they imagined and produced two lines of matter in the shape of the slits. However, the second time, the scientists sat in the same room during the experiment while passing light through the slits. This time, the light scattered and formed more of a wave-like pattern.

The only difference?

Someone observed the experiment, therefore influencing the result. This experiment proves that we are both the co-creators of reality and the very definition of it. We exist as pure consciousness, but we can influence reality with our thoughts and vibrations. Crazy stuff, right?!

Final thoughts on how consciousness is both continuous and discrete

It’s impossible to discuss all of the components of human consciousness in just one article. However, the study we talked about above makes up a massive part of the idea of consciousness. Scientists have found that we can expand our awareness of consciousness to include all moments in time and just some. In other words, we can perceive consciousness as both ongoing and continuous, as well as discrete.

Philosophers, scientists, and sages have been studying consciousness for millennia now. We have learned such a vast amount, but have a lot left to discover our existence in the vastness of the cosmos. Just know that if you ever feel small, remember that without you, the entirety of consciousness would appear differently. Because you exist, you influence consciousness and, therefore, reality, which makes you pretty important in the grand scheme of things.

10 Tips for Better Sleep Hygiene to Beat Daytime Fatigue

September 25, 2020 by Power of Positivity

You already know that everyone needs sleep, but the quality of sleep matters just as much as the amount of sleep. This is why adequate sleep hygiene is essential. It ensures that the sleep you get counts as much as possible.

If you find yourself drinking pot after pot of coffee or taking energy supplements to beat daytime fatigue, you may need to evaluate your sleep quality. You’d be surprised at how a small change can make a big difference in your energy levels and your health.

What Happens When You Have Consistently Bad Sleep Hygiene

The effects of not getting enough sleep, or rather, enough quality sleep, can be dramatic. Research shows that lack of proper sleep can result in:

Obesity
Compromised immune system
Cardiovascular problems
Diabetes
Increased risk of colorectal cancer
Impaired thinking
Mood swings
Depression
Memory loss
Premature brain aging
Death

As you can see, although some effects are worse than others, none of them are desirable. A lack of sleep can severely impact your life. With that being said, keep reading for ten tips that will give you better sleep.

10 Tips to Improve Sleep Hygiene and Beat Daytime Fatigue

Are you ready for some better sleep? Read on for relief.

1. Set a regular sleep schedule.

The human body is on a circadian rhythm. This is an internal, 24-hour clock that, when functioning correctly, cues specific processes in the brain at certain times of the day. The circadian rhythm controls the wake-sleep cycle and is extremely sensitive to light, which is why people get sleepy when the sun goes down.

This clock needs to remain balanced for your health, so it’s essential to have a regular sleep schedule. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day until it becomes a habit. If you need to make changes to your sleep schedule, do it gradually so that you don’t throw your clock out of whack.

2. Get the recommended amount of sleep.

The right amount of sleep depends on your age. Babies need more sleep than the typical adult, while seniors can deal with a little less sleep than middle-aged adults. For young to middle-aged adults, the National Sleep Foundation recommends 7 to 9 hours of sleep. For seniors, 7 to 8 hours is recommended.

Not getting enough sleep is an apparent reason for being tired during the day. These days, it can be hard to get enough sleep because people are extremely busy. However, it would help if you tried, or your health will pay for it in the long run.

It doesn’t matter how many energy supplements you take. There is no substitute for the right amount of sleep.

3. Make sleep a priority.

As stated above, you must get enough sleep. It’s not optional. However, don’t look at bedtime as a task in your schedule. Make it a priority.

Sleep should be as important as exercising or eating throughout the day. You need it to stay sane and stay alive. It heals you and allows specific processes in your body to function. It keeps you healthy.

Without sleep, you can lose your marbles. That’s why sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture.

Don’t torture yourself. Make sleeping as important as anything else you do to stay healthy. Enjoy it and do it often (daily).

4. Be careful with napping throughout the day.

Short naps in the middle of the day can be helpful, especially if you didn’t get enough sleep the night before. In fact, doctors recommend that people with certain conditions such as diabetes take short naps throughout the day until they can get their concerns under control. However, too many naps or napping every day can do more harm than good.

Too many naps can cause sleeplessness at night. This messes with your sleep schedule, which, as previously mentioned, throws off your circadian rhythm. Plus, when you find yourself waking up too early, you’re setting up a vicious cycle of needing more naps during the day.

You need to be tired when you go to bed. Absent of any sleeping conditions, this knowledge allows you to sleep the full, recommended amount of time and stops you from being tired during the day.

5. Turn off the screens at least 30 minutes before bedtime.

There are so many screens around us every day. Cell phones, computers, televisions, digital billboards, GPS monitors, and more are constantly shoved in our faces. The scary part of it all is that with the way life is set up now, you probably can’t get through a day without a combination of these screens.

Research has shown that the artificial blue light from devices inhibits the production of melatonin in your body, which is used to help you fall asleep. It also delays your circadian rhythm. That’s why it’s important to limit screen time for at least 30 minutes before your scheduled bedtime.

Here are tips to beat insomnia forever.

6. Get a new mattress.

People’s sleep hygiene is often thrown off because they’re sleeping on a bad mattress or a cheap mattress (or worse, a poor, cheap mattress). The wrong bed or an old mattress can cause discomfort, pain, overheating, and possibly even noise discomfort if it’s a cheap spring mattress.

Budgets are tight these days, so it can be hard to buy a new, expensive mattress. However, if your bed is thwarting your sleep hygiene, you need to figure out a way to get a decent one for your health.

For decades, the recommendation has been to buy a new mattress every 7 to 10 years. However, many mattresses these days are designed to last much longer than that. If you take care of them, they will last. Unfortunately, a cheap mattress will not last anywhere close to that long.

7. Use comfortable sheets and pillows.

Cheap sheets and flat pillows can cause overheating, itching, and neck discomfort while you sleep. This will dramatically impact your sleep hygiene. No one likes to wake up in the middle of the night itching feverishly in a pool of sweat.

No one is saying you need to invest in D.Porthault Jours de Paris sheets, but if your sheets aren’t comfortable, you may need to extend your budget.

8. Dim the lights or turn them off.

As mentioned before, light throws off your circadian rhythm. That’s why people get sleepy at night more than in the day. Sleeping with the lights on is a sure way to spoil your circadian rhythm. You may find yourself waking up several times during the night, or you may not be able to enter the deep sleep cycle.

If you don’t like sleeping in the dark, try using a night light. However, please don’t put it in a location where it’s shining directly in your face. Another option is letting the natural moonlight shine in through your window (if it’s not in your eyes).

9. Avoid caffeine a few hours before bedtime.

This is self-explanatory. Caffeine is a stimulant. It’s supposed to keep you awake. For most people, it does a relatively good job of that.

You should avoid caffeine at least a few hours before your scheduled bedtime. However, if you already have sleep problems, you may want to avoid it after lunchtime. The effects of caffeine can last for a long time.

Ingesting caffeine before bedtime will interrupt your sleep no matter how tired you are. You’ll likely be unable to enter into or stay in the deep sleep cycle so that it will lead to sleeplessness. This will put you in a vicious cycle of needing more caffeine the next day to stay awake.

10. Get daily exercise.

Exercise fixes everything. This includes not getting enough sleep. While it may not completely fix your sleep problems, exercise can certainly improve them.

One apparent reason that exercise can help is that it will make you tired (after the adrenaline wears off). Researchers haven’t confirmed this, but the evidence points in that direction. If you’re tired, you’ll be more likely to fall asleep easier and stay asleep. In fact, there have been links to aerobic exercise and deep cycle sleeping.

Exercising in the evening time doesn’t necessarily increase the chances of getting better sleep. However, you shouldn’t exercise any closer to your bedtime than two hours. Exercise releases endorphins, which makes you more alert. They can take a couple of hours to wear off.

Final Thoughts on Developing Better Sleep Hygiene

It can be disturbing to think that you live in a society where sleep deprivation is usual when getting enough sleep is so vital to your health. It’s a trend that needs to be changed desperately. You may not be able to change the whole world, but with a few tweaks, you can at least change yourself for your own benefit.

Good sleep hygiene is as essential as any other activity you do to keep yourself healthy. If you find that you’re often tired during the day, you should evaluate your sleep hygiene using the ten tips above. Your body will thank you for the extra sleep by being more alert, more efficient, stronger, and healthier.

10 Ways to Express Yourself When Your Partner Refuses to Hear You

September 25, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Nothing feels more frustrating than when you try to express yourself, and the other person doesn’t seem to hear you. During arguments in relationships, things can get misconstrued in the heat of the moment, which leads to hurt feelings. However, if you can learn to manage your emotions during disagreements, your bond will become stronger.

One study on relationships over 14 years found that couples who argued often had the least likelihood of getting separated. The study followed 79 couples across the Midwest and discovered that the strongest couples resolved arguments quickly. So, just because you argue sometimes doesn’t mean you have a bad relationship. When you have a partner, you’ll inevitably have disagreements, but how you resolve them matters most.

Here are ten ways to express yourself if your partner doesn’t hear you:

If you feel like your partner doesn’t hear you during arguments, the following tips can help you express yourself better.

1 – Make sure you understand your emotions first.

If you don’t know how you feel, communicating your needs to your partner won’t come easily. To feel heard in a relationship, you have to get completely honest and open with your significant other.

This honesty requires you to dig deep and understand where the emotions are coming from and why you feel unsatisfied with a certain aspect of your relationship.

Remember that your partner can’t help you if you don’t make your feelings and needs explicitly known. Also, take time to explain how you feel clearly without blaming or name-calling. The key to resolving arguments lies in how you choose to respond to your partner.

If you lash out or talk over them, of course, they won’t want to listen to you. Calmly explaining your emotions and directly asking for what you need helps resolve problems effectively.

2 – Actively listen to them.

If you want your partner to listen during arguments, you have to give them that same respect. Also, make sure you truly listen instead of just waiting for your turn to make your point. It will help you express yourself more if you can make your partner feel comfortable doing the same. Relationships rely on active listening from both partners to survive.

Studies have shown that active listening promotes healthier relationships.

Active listening involves the following:

Putting your phone away and giving your total attention to your partner
Maintaining eye contact the whole time
Restating what they’ve said to make sure you understand
Asking for clarification about certain points if you need it
Having empathy and trying to understand wholly where your partner is coming from
Staying in the present moment and not just waiting for your turn to talk

3 – Avoid anger.

Stay away from anger at all costs if you want to express yourself to your partner. Anger only breeds more chaos and dysfunction in communication with someone because they will automatically get defensive.

No one likes getting yelled at, especially after a hard day at work or school. Be mindful of how they feel and choose to treat them with loving kindness even in disagreement.

You can still get your point through without having to resort to emotionally charged language and explosive arguments. If you have trouble with this, take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and come back to the discussion when you have cooled down.

Studies show that yelling triggers the fight-or-flight response, causing us to become more reactive because we feel threatened. Therefore, a calm and soothing tone of voice produces the opposite effect – your partner will feel more open and willing to listen to you.

4 – Don’t accuse your partner of anything.

Accusing someone of something always puts them in defensive mode. Instead, choose to focus on how their actions made you feel and express yourself in terms of emotions. They will respond much better if they don’t feel attacked or pressured by accusations, and the talk will be more productive.

Put it this way – how would you feel if your partner started listing off all the things you’re doing wrong?

You probably wouldn’t take to it very well. So, please give them the same respect and watch the words you use with them. Instead of saying “You did ______ and I’m tired of it,” try saying “You hurt my feelings when you did ____, even if you didn’t mean to.” The second phrase sounds much friendlier and open-minded, in our opinion.

5 – Stay humble.

If you want to express yourself in a relationship, remember humility, above all else. Coming at your partner or friend with hurtful words will only make them put up walls, and your message will get distorted. They will take in what you have to say if you show vulnerability and compassion for their feelings.

To put this into practice, try to think about how you may have contributed to any issues. Even if you don’t want to admit it, it usually takes two people to have relationship problems.

Talking about how you can improve your behavior will make your partner more willing to discuss their shortcomings. If you can tackle issues as a team and talk to each other respectfully, any arguments will dissipate.

6 – Restructure the narrative.

Maybe you’ve been reading the whole situation the wrong way. Perhaps they haven’t wronged you. You just perceived the issue incorrectly due to your own emotions. Relationships can get tricky since they involve matters of the heart, and frequently, even our partner can misunderstand us.

Let’s say your spouse doesn’t pay you as much attention lately, and you’ve been feeling neglected. Your mind automatically goes to the worst-case scenario, like they are having an affair or have lost interest in you. Then, you lash out at them or allow resentment to build up based on your interpretation of the situation. However, you may not have considered other possible reasons for their lack of interest:

extra work at the office
stress about bills/life/other important people in their life
dealing with the kids (if you have them)
they need some time to themselves
any other reason besides the worst-case scenario

7 – Discuss things in their language.

Do they speak in a more emotional or logical way? Either way, try to talk things out in a way that they can understand, but that still conveys your message. If you lean more toward the emotional side and they are logical, they will appreciate directness. However, if the opposite is true, you’ll want to show more sensitivity and compassion. Learn your partner’s methods of communication so that when you express yourself, the message doesn’t get lost in translation.

8 – Write them a letter.

This idea may sound silly, but sometimes our words just come out better on paper. You can always talk it out with them afterward, but writing it down first can help, especially in new relationships. Plus, writing things out can help you make sense of your thoughts and sort through them better. When you talk about them, you’ll have had time to reflect on how you feel and convey it to your partner easier.

9 – Consider talking to a therapist.

If you have tried everything with your partner and still don’t seem to hear you, consider going to couple’s therapy. A therapist can help you to break down any barriers in your communication and connect better as a couple. If your partner hesitates about going, make sure you let them voice their concerns first. Remind them that it can benefit both of you and make you stronger as a couple.

A couple’s therapist seeks to help people improve their relationships by recognizing and resolving all types of conflict. Many couples don’t know how to communicate with one another, so if you don’t feel heard, this might be an option for you.

10 – Remain positive.

Your partner will likely respond to negativity in the same way, so try your best to remain positive when you express yourself. Even if you’ve been hurt, try to frame your thoughts in a way that isn’t accusatory. For example, you could say, “I know you’ve been busy lately, but I miss having dinner together on weeknights.” In this way, you haven’t accused him/her of neglecting you, which would likely prompt a defensive response.

Final thoughts on how to express yourself when your partner refuses to hear you

When you have arguments with your partner, you want to express yourself to resolve the issues at hand. However, sometimes miscommunication causes your partner not to hear you, which only ends in frustration and heartache. If you want to get your own message across clearer, try to avoid talking when you feel angry. Also, please keep an open mind and let them speak their side of the story.

If you don’t feel heard in a relationship, consider that your partner may not either. If you can both work together to make one another’s needs known, you will have a happy, long-lasting relationship.

11 Things Your Tongue Can Tell You About Your Health

September 25, 2020 by Lakeisha Ethans

The tongue is fantastic! It’s the strongest muscle in a human’s body relative to its size. It lets you taste all your favorite foods. And, on top of all of that, it can tell you things about your health.

That’s right. The appearance, texture, color, and even feel of your tongue can all say something about your current state of wellbeing, so pay attention to it. Here are 11 things your tongue can tell you about your health!

11 Health Issues Your Tongue Might Reveal

Do you see any of these indicators on your tongue?

1. Fuzzy Brown Or Black Spots

Brown or black fuzz on the tongue – whether in spots or the entire appendage – is often a reflection of poor oral hygiene. Often accompanied by bad breath, taste difficulties, and other issues, it’s a surprisingly common problem.

Admittedly, it’s quite disturbing to look at your tongue and see this black bumpy hairiness, but it is thankfully not nearly as severe as it seems. You see, the tongue is covered in little bumps known as papillae. When dirt and staining occur over time due to poor oral care, the papillae can become stained, leading to the brown fuzz.

However, not everyone with bad oral hygiene will develop this uncomfortable-looking dark hair. You see, in most cases, papillae are naturally worn down, preventing them from overgrowing. Drinking and eating are more than enough to keep them “trimmed.” But individuals who experience overgrown papillae have a higher chance of harboring harmful bacteria and receiving discoloration over time. This discoloration might come from the following habits:

Bad dental hygiene
Smoking
Drinking dark tea
Drinking coffee
To counteract this problem, you can:
Brush your tongue
Buy and use a tongue scraper.
Remove the cause of the problem (such as smoking or dark teas)

2. A Burning Feeling

If you experience a tingling or burning feeling in your mouth, this can point to one of two things. The first, and more common, is that there’s something wrong with the toothpaste you’re using. Allergic reactions to toothpaste are far from uncommon thanks to an ingredient often used in them called sodium lauryl sulfate, aka SLS for short.

SLS is responsible for helping the foaming of toothpaste. An allergic reaction to SLS can occur very suddenly. For example, you may have had no problems with the toothpaste up until a certain point, then been accosted by a burning sensation out of nowhere! Using an SLS-free toothpaste will usually solve the problem, and in the meantime, a dentist can help you with pain management.

However, there is also another potential cause for that burning feeling that is notably less positive: burning mouth syndrome. As described by the American Academy of Oral Medicine, it is the result of hormonal changes that lead to a neuropathic problem. Affecting just 2% of the population, women are seven times likelier to develop burning mouth syndrome than men. This is because menopause is a widespread cause of the issue.

Burning mouth syndrome is a bit of a mystery, and most doctors are stumped as to why it occurs. So far, the following patterns have been detected in patients:

Continuous, constant burning sensation throughout the day
Developing burning sensations that start with almost no severity in the morning and worsen as the day progresses
Intermittent burning sensations, with only some days involving any burning; this is notably less common.

If you believe that you might have burning mouth syndrome, speak to your doctor about treatment. The prognosis is usually good for symptom reduction, so keep your positive thinking!

3. Glossy, Bright Red Color

A tongue that looks strawberry red could be warning you of a deficiency in a vitamin or mineral. This is likely, according to research, to be either iron or vitamin B12. This is because both of these nutrients help the small bumps on your tongue, called papillae, to mature. Without enough of either, this can cause the papillae to disappear.

Symptoms of these deficiencies include:

Weakness
Exhaustion
Memory problems
Balance difficulties

Your tongue doesn’t have to have turned bright red to lose its papillae, so keep an eye out for any changes. The loss of papillae is especially common in vegetarians or vegans who lack vitamin B12 sources. If you’re one of them, talk to your doctor to discuss possible supplementation.

Some positive sources of vitamin B12 include:

Beef
Cheese
Chicken
Clams
Eggs
Fortified cereals
Haddock
Ham
Liver
Milk
Nutritional yeast
Salmon
Trout
Tuna
Yogurt

Some positive sources of iron include:

Apricots
Beef
Duck
Eggs
Lamb
Leafy green vegetables
Legumes
Liver
Nuts
Pumpkin seeds
Salmon
Sardines
Sunflower seeds
Tempeh
Tofu
Wholegrain cereals and carbs

Here are ten extraordinary things that your mouth reveals about your well-being.

4. Sores

Canker sores on the tongue are extremely common. They tend to be very painful for the first five or so days, vanishing or resolving on their own within 14 days. Though there are no currently concrete reasons behind canker sores that experts have uncovered, the American Academy of Oral Medicine and dentists know that:

Stress can bring about canker sores
Illness can increase the risk of canker sores
Canker sores are not contagious
Canker sores likely have viral causes

Do note that you should know the difference between a canker sore and a cold sore, as cold sores are contagious and are caused by herpes. If you aren’t sure, it’s best to speak to a doctor.

5. “Valleys” And “Hills”

Does your tongue seem to have mountains and valleys all on its own? This landscape is nothing to worry about at all and is, in almost all cases, 100% harmless – so keep your positive thinking!

The American Academy of Oral Medicine refers to this condition as a “geographic tongue.” The name is earned from the appearance of the tongue, which looks like it has uneven terrain. Approximately 1 to 2.5% of the world has this condition.

It’s unclear why a geographic tongue happens, but the consensus among experts is that taste buds are to blame. This is because taste buds can, sometimes, shrink randomly on the tongue. Although taste buds are capable of regeneration, when only some do, and others never return, this uneven, bumpy appearance is created.

6. Thick White Layer Or Lumps

Is your tongue coated with thick lumps that resemble cottage cheese? Unfortunately, this is a prevalent symptom of oral yeast infection such as thrush. Thrush is the result of candida overproduction.

The mouth needs to maintain a delicate balance between yeast and the bacteria that occurs naturally. Certain foods can cause that balance to be disrupted, killing good bacteria while allowing yeast like candida to grow in abundance. This can be caused by:

A weakened immune system
Consumption of antibiotics
Diabetes
Chemotherapy

If you think you have developed an oral yeast infection, you need to speak to a doctor as soon as possible. Thrush is one of the very few yeast infections that cannot be treated with any over-the-counter items.

7. Small Patches Of White

Small white patches on the tongue are usually a sign of some form of irritation. This can be caused by:

Smoking (the most common cause)
Tooth abrasions (when your teeth rub your tongue)
Injuries, such as overzealous scraping or brushing

These patches are known as leukoplakia and, in many studies, have been precursors to the development of cancer. If you smoke, this is an incredibly severe concern. If you don’t, wait for a week to see if the patches go away, then see a doctor if they don’t budge.

8. White Lines, Webs, Or Stripes

Do you notice white lines along the top of your tongue? This is a classic first symptom of something called oral lichen planus. It can be quite interesting to look at, and some even think that it somewhat resembles lace.

Why does this happen? Generally, it’s believed that oral lichen planus occurs when your immune system attacks the cells on your tongue. This is not contagious but can add to cancer risk. As such, discussing the issue with your doctor is recommended.

Don’t worry too much, though! There is also the chance that the condition will go away on its own. Despite that, it is essential that you receive the correct diagnosis and potential treatment for the situation, just in case. You will likely have to:

Avoid food that could cause oral irritation.
Be extra vigilant regarding dental hygiene.
Steer clear of tobacco products

9. Red Lesions

Red lesions on the tongue are usually quite severe. As long as you’re not mixing these up with canker sores – which are generally not particularly harmful and go away in time – it’s probably a good idea to see a doctor.

Many tongue diseases are marked with lesions like this, ranging from mild but requiring treatment to severe and potentially life-threatening. Oral cancer, HPV, and other similar illnesses have these lesions as a first sign, so even if you’re not clear about what’s going on, it’s a good idea to talk to a dentist.

10. Wrinkles

You probably associate the thought of wrinkles with signs of aging on the skin. What you might not realize is that wrinkles on the tongue are also a common – and harmless – sign of aging! In other words, tongue wrinkles are, on their own, nothing to worry about.

However, the addition of these wrinkles to your tongue does mean you need to be more vigilant about hygiene and cleanliness. This is because the new crevices present on your tongue in the wrinkles are easily prone to infection. They can harbor nasty bacteria because of food debris and other issues, leading to fungal infections. Symptoms of such a disease may include:

Bad odor
Pain
Burning sensations

Have tongue wrinkles despite being younger? Dentures and other similar dental products can lead to tongue indentations that resemble wrinkles. To avoid this, you can:

Drink sufficient water
Brush your tongue
Use a tongue scraper
Make sure you have a good dentist
Get dental appliances that fit you properly

11. Yellow Color

A yellow tongue is typically just a sign of bacterial overgrowth and is rarely something to run to a doctor for. You might want to consider brushing your tongue or using a tongue scraper for better hygiene. Some other causes of yellow tongue include:

Tobacco chewing
Smoking
Consuming certain vitamins
Psoriasis
Jaundice (very rare)

Final Thoughts On Some Things Your Tongue Can Tell You About Your Health

The tongue really can say a lot about health, and it can also be affected by seemingly minor actions. Maintaining proper oral hygiene and monitoring the state of your tongue is crucial. Remember, if you are concerned about your oral health, you should speak to your doctor or dentist as soon as possible!

Science Proves that Trust in a Relationship is More Essential Than Love

September 25, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

While lasting relationships can’t thrive without love, trust in a relationship may matter most. Feelings of love come and go in long-term relationships, but trust withstands the test of time. Any healthy marriage goes through phases where the couple may fall out of love temporarily. However, if they have trust, it can keep the ship afloat on the stormiest of waters.

Any two people can fall into love, but those feelings tend to fade over time. After a while, relationships form into more of a loving friendship as the honeymoon phase ends. If the couple continues to build trust and work as a team, then the relationship stands a good chance of lasting forever. Simply put, you can have faith without love, but you can’t have love without trust.

In a successful relationship, you have to believe you can trust your partner before giving them your heart. Below, we’ll talk more about why trust predicts relationship success more than love.

Science says that trust matters even more than love in relationships.

In a nutshell, a successful relationship hinges on kindness and trust more than anything else. The feelings of infatuation will fade, but if you have confidence, nothing can take that away. People underestimate this and expect that they’ll feel the same in 20 years as they did in the very beginning. When their love starts to wane, couples assume that their relationship won’t make it.

However, they forget about the importance of trust. Even if you don’t feel in love with your partner anymore, you can still love and respect them. You can still hold onto the positive aspects of your relationship and choose to focus on those. The Gottman Institute says that accentuating the positives in a relationship is one of the most significant predictors of success.

John Gottman, a leader in studying what constitutes a healthy marriage or relationship, believes the little things matter most. After studying couples over the past 35 years, he says the following items ensure success in relationships more than anything else:

Building love maps

Learn your partner’s inner psychological world, such as their biggest hopes, fears, worries, and joy. This will help you bond with your partner and know their needs.

Share fondness and admiration.

Gottman refers to this as a solution for contempt since it promotes affection and respect for each other. In other words, you want to focus on the positive things about your partner rather than the negatives.

Lean into your significant other instead of away from them.

State your needs and respond to your partner’s attempts to connect. For example, if he or she points something out to you, or tries to engage in conversation, put your full attention on them. The smallest moments and interactions matter the most in relationship success.

Maintaining a positive perspective.

Try to have a positive approach to solving problems, as trust in a relationship comes from how you respond to conflicts.

Manage conflict

Part of building a healthy marriage or relationship comes from how you deal with conflict. It can either make or break a relationship, so make sure you work as a team. Listen to your partner and try to come to a resolution together. Conflicts are typical in any healthy relationship, as long as you treat your partner with love and respect.

Work on making each other’s dreams a reality

Let your partner talk openly about his or her desires and dreams. Create an open environment where they feel safe and heard talking about the future.

Create shared meaning

Every relationship needs something that unites it, whether that means kids or perhaps a shared business. Or, maybe it means getting involved in something you both enjoy, such as biking or hiking. No matter what the trouble is, make sure your relationship involves something that matters to both of you.

Trust

Of course, this should remain a priority in a relationship. Without trust, you won’t have a foundation to build upon for a successful partnership. You want to know that your partner will have your back and that you can count on them for anything. Building trust in a relationship takes time, but being vulnerable with your partner will help the walls come down little by little.

Commitment

Any successful relationship requires a commitment to your partner to make it work. If you want to remain with this person long-term, you need to embrace both their negative and positive qualities. However, you shouldn’t dwell on their negative traits, which will skew your image and perception of them. You will start noticing more of the things that you find annoying about them rather than what you adore about their personality.

In other words, admire them for their positive traits and learn to accept their flaws. If you can do this, it will ensure a successful union for life. Also, make trust your foundation early on in the relationship, as everything else hinges upon it.

So, why is trust more important than love in a relationship?

You can’t have love without trust.

If you can’t count on your partner and you feel uneasy around them, you can’t possibly become vulnerable enough to fall in love. Love will fade over time because some days, you’ll get under each other’s skin and take each other for granted. Other days, it’ll feel like you just met and you want to spend all your time with them. However, these feelings will fluctuate with the situations and experiences you go through as a couple.

Trust will remain steady throughout your relationship as long as you don’t do anything to betray it. If you stay faithful to your partner and put their needs first, you’ll never have a doubt in your mind if you can trust them or not.

It allows you to have boundaries in the relationship.

If you have love without trust, it may lead to codependency and attachment issues. However, if you cultivate trust, it brings a sense of security into the relationship. You can each go your separate ways at times without having to worry about each other’s whereabouts constantly. This way, you can develop a strong marriage by having your alone time as well as time spent together.

You’ll have a sense of peace when you have trust in a relationship.

Without trust, you constantly feel on edge or just unsure of where you stand with your partner. Will they suddenly break up with you or say they’ve been seeing someone else? Do they want a future with you? If you cannot answer these questions honestly, you need to have a serious talk with your partner and communicate your needs.

Everyone deserves to have a loving, supportive relationship where they can fully trust their partner. The person you love should eliminate your stress, not add to it by being unclear about their intentions. When you find a secure partnership, you’ll have a sense of peace.

Trust allows you to gauge how much you give of yourself to others.

If you don’t trust someone, you won’t want to open up to them about the details of your life. Trust gives us a way to decide the level of emotional intimacy we wish to experience with someone. It helps us control our emotions, in a way, because not everyone gains access to the deepest parts of ourselves. Trust in a relationship helps peel back our layers, slowly showing our partner more vulnerable sides of ourselves.

Love is blind, but trust never fails you.

You can love someone who might not love you back in the same way. You could bend over backward for someone you’ve fallen head over heels for, but that doesn’t guarantee they’ll reciprocate. Many people get involved in one-sided relationships where the other person doesn’t have their best interests in mind, unfortunately. When you jump too quickly into a relationship out of loneliness or desperation, you may not see the person.

However, if you build upon the relationship slowly and get to know the person, you can establish trust. This way, you can gauge if your partner deserves your time, commitment, and heart. While love can overpower and blind you, faith will illuminate your path and steer you in the right direction.

Final thoughts on why trust is more important than love in relationships

Any healthy marriage or relationship requires trust as the foundation; without it, love cannot grow. You can’t plant a garden without tending to the soil; similarly, you can’t have a thriving relationship without establishing trust. All successful relationships require this faith because it helps you grow closer to people. It enables you to realize how much of yourself you should give away based on their input.

If someone only gives you 50%, why should you bother giving them 100%? If you care about trust in a relationship, make sure of your partner’s intentions before committing fully to them.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Building love maps

Share fondness and admiration.

Lean into your significant other instead of away from them.

Maintaining a positive perspective.

Manage conflict

Work on making each other’s dreams a reality

Create shared meaning

Trust

Commitment

You can’t have love without trust.

It allows you to have boundaries in the relationship.

You’ll have a sense of peace when you have trust in a relationship.

Trust allows you to gauge how much you give of yourself to others.

Love is blind, but trust never fails you.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!