Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

12 Behaviors of an Online Cheater to Never Ignore

The internet has opened a new variety of dating that’s allowed many people to find love in the most unexpected places. With cyber dating comes the risk of being catfished or lied to. It would be best if you watched out for online cheaters. However, it could be that you’re using online dating platforms and wonder about the integrity of the person you’re talking to.

First, you must establish what you consider cheating. Some folks think that if you engage in an emotional relationship with an individual while tied to someone else, it’s infidelity. At the same time, others believe that you must have some physical interaction to be considered cheating.

Each couple must establish boundaries before entering any relationship as to what they believe is infidelity. Is there an easy way to spot the cyber cheater? Since this is a typical game played by so many people, it’s not as challenging as you think.

Remember, anyone can cheat. According to Worried Lovers, you don’t have to be narcissistic or self-absorbed to step out on your spouse. Instead, many people cheat because they’re overwhelmed, stressed out, and need a release from their current life.

Twelve Behaviors of a Partner Who Might Be Guilty of Online Cheating

What if you’re married or with a partner who you think might be cheating on you using online platforms? How do you know if the one you love is being unfaithful to you? Here are some classic signs of an online cheater that hits close to home.

online cheater1. Their Schedule Changes

One of the most prominent signs that something is up is when you see frequent schedule changes. Make a note if they’re coming home late from work, having overnight trips out of town, or going in early. While some jobs will have people work odd hours, if they’ve worked the same shift for five years and now sudden changes occur, it’s time to do some research.

2. You Catch Them in Lies

A man or woman is only as good as their word, but if you start catching your significant other in lies, then it’s a cause for alarm. Are they lying about stupid stuff, like why they spend money on lottery tickets or are they lying about more important things?

3. Money Is Missing From Checking Accounts

Do you notice that money is missing from the checking account, or have they been making charges on the credit cards? One of the signs that they’re buying gifts or living a double life is they will run up debt.

4. They Don’t Eat Dinner at Home Anymore

If you always ate dinner as a family and now you’re eating solo, it’s a cause for concern. True, their job might be holding them back, but they’re also possibly having dinner with someone else. If they don’t call to tell you they will be late, it’s another sign of concern.

5. They Secure Email and Social Media With New Passwords

Having open passwords and access to accounts is usually not an issue when a couple’s relationship is based on trust and honesty. However, they’re trying to hide something if they’ve got things locked down like Fort Knox and don’t want you into their accounts.

6. They Become Very Guarded With Their Phones

Another sign of the online cheater is that they don’t let their phone out of their sight. They may get nervous if you even get close to it. They guard this little device with their life. When you question them about their strange behavior, they could go unhinged.

7. They Hide To Talk on the Phone Constantly

Have you noticed a change in their telephone habits? Are they constantly on the phone? Do they need to take a “business” call in another room? If their phone calls seem to have picked up, it’s a sign they may have many cyber fish on the line.

8. Obsession With Responding to Online Contacts

Do they drop everything they’re doing if they get a text, email, or phone call? You may find that the bulk of their time is spent on the phone or computer these days. Their response times are better than most corporations, which is a sign that something’s up.

9. Romance Has Dwindled

One way to tell if something is going on is if the action between the sheets has died. Now, couples who have been together will go through dry spells, but anything out of character may be something to worry about. They could be having their needs met somewhere else, or they may be uninterested in being with you as they have many others to choose from online.

10. They Have Secret Social Media Accounts

An enormous red flag is when you find they have one or more social media accounts they’re hiding. You can quickly search and see social media accounts by using a picture on a search engine. Of course, if they’re an online cheater with fraud on their mind, they won’t use their correct image.

online cheater11. They’re Acting Strange

Do you see any behaviors that are out of the ordinary? If they were always happy and jolly, but now they come home from work irritable and moody, it could be a sign something’s wrong.

Everyone can be frustrated from work, but they seem to target their frustrations on you. One sign of a guilty conscience is they will pick arguments with you, so they feel justified in their actions.

12. Monthly Phone Bill Discrepancies

If your partner is cheating, then you might see some strange things on your cell phone bill. Are they calling international areas, or are they calling numbers that are out of the ordinary? These could be significant warnings signs that they’re guilty of being an online cheater.

Eight Tips on Avoiding Online Cheaters While Cyberdating

For the sake of argument, perhaps you are single and ready to mingle. You’ve signed up with some online dating accounts, and you’re looking for the right one. How do you know if someone on the world wide web is an online cheater, or are they the real deal? Here are some signs to watch for.

1. They Only Call at Specific Times

One of the most significant issues with someone stringing along several people is the calling patterns. They may only want to call you, and they can only call in a short window. This is a huge red flag.

2. They’re Very Secretive

When you try to get to know them and discover their life, they will concoct a story that doesn’t make sense. If you dig and find the pictures they give you belong to someone else, run. Also, you may not verify the details of their life if they offer any information at all. Secretive behaviors may become huge red flags later.

3. You Hear Children or a Spouse in the Background

If you call beyond the specified time frames they allow, you may be rushed off the phone and hear a noise that sounds like kids or a partner in the background.

4. They Only Want You to Text

If all your conversations are made by text, it’s a red flag. If they don’t want you to have their number and prefer to talk on instant messenger platforms, it’s a warning sign that they’re not 100 percent honest.

5. They Ask for Money or Gifts

The online cheater is often in it for what they can get out of you. Block them if they ask for money, gift cards, or anything of monetary value.

6. You Can Never Go to Their House

When meeting or meeting in person, they may avoid you coming to their home. They will want to meet at your home or the local hotel. Find out why their home is not available, as this is a serious concern.

7. They Don’t Allow You To Meet Friends or Family Members

If they’re serious about getting to know you, they will want to introduce you to friends and family. Though this might take a few months, if they never sound interested in showing you off, then trust your gut instincts.

8. They Don’t Want To Be Seen in Public With You

They don’t want to go out in public to dinner or a movie. Whenever you talk about dating, they want to meet somewhere inconspicuous. Those who don’t like to be seen in public either suffer from a social anxiety disorder or live a double life.

online cheaterFinal Thoughts on Knowing the Telltale Signs of an Online Cheater

If you see any signs that a person you’re talking to on social media is an online cheater, block them and don’t look back. Now, when it comes to your partner or spouse, it’s a bit different. You need to gather your facts before you start accusing anyone of cheating.

You can be a detective and gather information before hurling accusations. If your partner is not cheating on you, any claims you make can drive a wedge between you and damage your trust. According to North American Investigations, 54 percent of men don’t believe that online flirting and engaging in an emotional relationship is cheating.

Regarding women, over 72 percent think online dating is cheating. So, you may need to adjust your perspectives, decide what you both classify as infidelity, and set dating rules. Any inappropriate online behavior that’s done behind your back needs to be addressed.

3 Times You Should Trust Your First Instincts

Do you ever find yourself in situations where logic cannot help you? You might feel as if you don’t have enough time or information to develop a coherent plan. Have you ever wondered what to do in these situations? Do you trust your first instincts, or do you stay put?

Your body will give you specific signs no matter what you go through. You will have hunches regarding everything you do. And it’s very tempting to listen to those hunches. But it’s not always recommended. Sometimes you have to resort to logic and rationale. Sometimes, there’s no better way of getting through life than following your instincts. If you want to learn when to let instincts lead and when to be cerebral, keep reading.

How Do First Instincts Manifest?

In most cases, first instincts can manifest either physically or emotionally. Depending on what your gut is trying to tell you, your body will behave differently. Thus, the signals you will get will take on different forms. There are two sides to the whole first instincts story. They will either alert you to be cautious or confirm the choices you want to make.

When feeling like you should be cautious, your hunches will evoke sensations similar to those associated with anxiety, including physical ones. You might feel dizzy, sick to your stomach. You might sweat or tremble. On top of that, uncertainty will hover around your mind, nagging and stressing you out. When you react this way, you better run as far as possible from your situation.

first instinctsOn the other hand, you might feel confirmation from your instincts. An overwhelming sense of calm and confidence might take over you for apparently no reason. While there is no identifiable logical reason, it’s your body telling you to pursue a particular course of action. Feelings of affirmation are less physical. Often, you have to be in touch with your emotions to distinguish upbeat hunches. Some people even seem to “hear” their gut talking to them and guiding them through decision-making processes.

How exactly do these gut feelings work, and why do they manifest? Though they seem to come out of nowhere, they aren’t actually all that random. As the name might suggest, gut feelings (instincts) have some connection with the gut. But what is that connection? And how can emotions be connected to a physical part of the body?

While these feelings don’t originate in your gut, they are related to the gut-brain connection. The brain and the heart connect through an axis. That axis is a physical and biochemical link between the organs. Because of this connection, emotional experiences emerge as gastrointestinal distress. Anxiety, fear, concern might lead to pain, stomach spasms, and nausea. Even the positive feelings are expressed outwards in specific physical ways. Again, twinges, known commonly as “butterflies,” are a widespread expression.

So, instincts aren’t just some abstract concepts. They have a physical manifestation that can be observed and cataloged. But you always have to look out for certain fallacies. The one that can hurt you the most is the first instinct fallacy, introduced by Justin Kruger in 2005. He found that if you always stick to the first option, you are at higher risk of being wrong. Be careful and don’t listen to your first instincts because they were the hunches you got first. That’s fallacious thinking. Instead, use those hunched combined with logic to reach a decision. It would help if you learned which situations can be solved with logic and in which you can lean only on instincts.

3 Times When You Should Trust Your First Instincts

Now that you understand why we have gut instincts and spot them, you need to know when to trust them.

1.    Trust Your First Instincts When Forming First Impressions

In situations where you’ve just met someone, you won’t have enough data to accurately decide what you think of the person. Is it worth seeing them again? Would it be to your advantage to spend resources trying to build a relationship with them? How exactly should you approach the situation?

In relationships, especially new ones, you should lean on instincts to guide you. When people use logic to analyze whether to pursue a relationship with someone new, they might use fallacious reasoning. Because of the sunken cost fallacy, people will tend to distance themselves from new people. They don’t want to risk investing resources if they don’t guarantee a good outcome.

Your hunches will guide you in these situations. Don’t lean on logic, as you will stumble over the fallacy. Instead, listen to your emotions. If someone you’ve just met makes you feel uneasy, even though mutual friends praise them, it’s better to back off. Your logic might tell you to pursue a relationship because you have heard many good things about them. But that will not turn out well. Your gut knows better. You don’t have enough information to decide rationally, so there’s no other tool you could use but instincts.

When you need to form a quick impression, resort to gut instincts. Don’t listen to others, don’t try to make logical assumptions. Take a step back, understand your feelings, and work from there.

trust your first instincts2.    Trust Your First Instincts When You Need Confirmation

Sometimes, you have enough data to make a logical and reasonable decision. But that doesn’t mean you are sure about the validity of what you’ve decided.

The anxiety caused by not being 100% certain can even make you turn back on your decision. It can make you procrastinate, put you under a lot of pressure. In some situations, no amount of logic will boost your confidence. If that’s the case, you can rely on instincts to give you the boost you need.

The brain registers everything you’ve ever done. Subconsciously, you have a significant amount of experience. But you aren’t aware of that knowledge. Based on events that have happened, your brain can guide you through the best plan possible. If you’re ever in doubt, listen to your instincts. The subconscious will show you what’s right and what’s wrong by giving you signals. If your decision is the right one, you will feel no anxiety. Your instincts will make you feel secure and comfortable. But, if the decision is wrong, you will feel nothing but fear regarding your plan.

Be aware that you can decide whatever you need to fix. Understand that your life experiences sharpen your instincts and guide you along the way. If you become aware of this fact, you will learn to listen to your instincts. That’s not to say you should make decisions based only on instincts. Instead, create a logical plan first and only use instincts to confirm if that plan is correct or not.

3.    When You Need To Make Quick Decisions, Rely On Your First Instincts

In the previous point, you’ve just read how instincts shouldn’t be the foundation for decision-making. And that is very true for cases where you have time to decide. But the reality is that sometimes you don’t have that time. You can’t sit around for hours to craft the perfect course of action. It would be best if you decided on the spot. You have at best a few minutes and at worst a split second. What do you do in that case?

Research proves that in those cases, you should base your decisions on intuition alone. If you’re in imminent danger, it’s useless to try to think your way out of it. If you’re going to fall off the bike straight on your head, thinking will do you no good. Instead, your instincts will rightfully tell you that you should jump rather than break your neck.

Instincts are the best way to find the right path in a time crunch. And, as a bonus, instincts will get you in touch with your needs. When you don’t have time to sit back and analyze the context, you won’t logically identify them. But your decisions need to take your needs into account. If your instincts tell you something, the chances are that’s what’s best for you.

The first thoughts your brain will have will always be the ones that bring you the most benefits. When your instincts tell you to jump off the bike so that you don’t break your neck, it’s because it’s best for you. Even if you risk hitting someone, your instinct will still tell you to save yourself.

And even in more minor extreme examples, the situation stays the same. If you need to decide on an answer to a proposal in a couple of minutes, your instincts will have your best interests at heart.

trust your first instinctsFinal Thoughts On If And When You Should Trust Your First Instincts

Instincts have had a pretty bad reputation in the past. People who follow them have been accused of being irrational and flaky. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Though logic is vital in all aspects of life, instincts have their role. So yes, you should trust your first instincts. It would help if you didn’t base every decision you make on your first instincts. But, in certain situations, instincts are the critical aspect.

Instincts, or gut feelings, are clear signs. They create physical, or at least emotional, reactions. So, there’s no way you won’t be aware of your instincts in every situation. There are three main times in which listening to first instincts is recommended.

Firstly, take instincts into account when forming a first impression. When you meet someone, there’s no guarantee they are the way they seem. If you feel uneasy, take that into account. Secondly, use instincts for confirmation. To make sure your decisions are right, listen to your gut. If you feel comfortable, the decision doesn’t need tweaking. But, if your instincts tell you something is off, take another look. Lastly, use first instincts when having to make quick plans.

Instincts will subconsciously guide you and take care of your needs. When you have a few minutes or a split second to decide, trying to think it through is useless. Gut feelings are the best way to go. As long as you learn to balance listening to logic and first instincts, you should trust your gut!

FedEx Launches Self-Driving Delivery Trucks in Texas

Last month, FedEx used autonomous trucks on a delivery route in Texas for the first time. Self-driving technology powered the 18-wheeler, but a safety driver also went on the delivery for backup. FedEx says it will start making regular deliveries in Texas using the “driverless” trucks powered by self-driving company Aurora.

The big rig drove along the heavily traveled Interstate 45 for 500 miles between Dallas and Houston. This delivery was part of a pilot program between Aurora and truck manufacturer PACCAR. The trucks equipped with self-driving technology will complete deliveries multiple times a week along this route. A backup safety driver will go along for the ride until the end of 2023.

At that time, Aurora hopes to launch its autonomous trucking business to deliver shipments between facilities without a safety driver. The pilot program will only include a small number of trucks to assess any problems. As they refine the technology, Aurora will keep adding to the fleet on the Dallas-to-Houston route.

How FedEx will put self-driving technology to work

Aurora and Paccar will use Kenworth and Peterbilt trucks, specifically, to launch their autonomous truck program. This innovation comes at an opportune time for FedEx while they experience record delivery volumes. With the busy holiday season fast approaching, getting more trucks on the road is of utmost importance.

Inside the truck, Aurora’s autonomous technology includes a screen showing views from cameras placed around the vehicles. It also comes with LiDAR, radar, sensors, and additional software. All of this technology allows a computer to control the truck. Finally, the self-driving trucks have a Plan B for crucial systems like steering, braking, and power supply in case the driverless technology malfunctions.

Aurora has also partnered with other companies like Volvo to create self-driving Class 8 trucks at scale. By 2023, the company hopes to start selling its driverless trucks in select states. Testing without safety drivers will begin before then.

Driverless won’t replace all actual drivers, so don’t worry.

Many people wonder about the future of self-driving personal vehicles. However, Paccar chief technology officer John Rich says that driverless technology works better in long-distance trucks. With passenger cars driving in congested cities, there’s more room for error than on open free. That’s not to say companies will not develop the technology, but more challenges exist for passenger cars than long-haul trucks.

With the advent of driverless technology, many truckers fear that they will lose their jobs. However, Rebecca Yeung, vice president of innovation and advanced technology at FedEx, said the company would only use driverless trucks for routes outsourced to third parties. When the company experiences a surge in business, they often outsource routes to third parties to meet demand.

So, truckers who operate under won’t have to worry about losing their job to technology. Yeung added that the company views drivers as assets, and the driverless technology won’t displace them. Drivers also supervise the loading and unloading of freight, log inventory and even help with bookkeeping, making them invaluable.

However, as an industry leader, FedEx wants to stay ahead of the game regarding technology. The company embraces artificial intelligence, robots, driverless vehicles, and other emerging technologies to enhance its business.

FedEx CEO and chairman, Fred Smith, said:

“The world turns on innovation. FedEx is intent on innovating for good. We believe we’re responsible for creating not only business value for our stakeholders but societal value for our world. Probably one of the biggest tech trends in the news today is autonomous vehicles, a combination of big data and AI. It’s an important area in terms of safety since 90% of all accidents are caused by human error.”

Besides self-driving delivery trucks, here are other technologies FedEx will employ in their business

Here are some other new ideas FedEx will try:

An AI app to initiate shipments:

FedEx says that one day, they envision shipments being ordered through Amazon Echo or Google Home. The AI-enabled Alexa app currently being developed by FedEx will eventually understand commands “like “Prepare a shipment.” This streamlined process will eliminate tedious, time-consuming tasks like filling out forms. Then, a truck will pull up to your front door and pick up the shipments.

One driver controlling a convoy of trucks:

FedEx partnered with Peloton Technology to develop “vehicle platooning.” This pioneering technology involves electronically linking trucks into small groups called “platoons.” Using wireless vehicle-to-vehicle communication, the lead truck driver controls the speed of the trucks behind him. The technology will decrease wind resistance, therefore saving fuel.

Robotic members of staff:

FedEx already employed their first robotic staff member, Sam, at their New York office. A customer gave Sam her broken smartphone, and Sam delivered it to an employee in the back office. Sam then completed the transaction. Smith says to expect more robotic assistants in the future; others working there include Lil’ Rico, Falcon, and even one named Area 51.

Courier robots:

One day, you might see a robot rolling up to your front door with a FedEx package. Since they can carry heavy loads and travel farther than drones, robots may become the way of the future. In fact, FedEx has already tested this technology with the company Nuro. The autonomous delivery vehicles have been deployed in Memphis, Tennessee, and Plano and Frisco, Texas, and Manchester, New Hampshire, so far. Using the bots, retailers can accept orders from nearby customers and deliver them on the same day.

Final Thoughts: FedEx launches self-driving delivery trucks in Texas

Technology is changing our world faster than ever before. FedEx recently launched its first driverless delivery trucks between Dallas and Houston, Texas. The company partnered with autonomous technology leader Aurora along with truck manufacturer PACCAR. The trucks will travel along I-45 in Texas multiple times a week to complete deliveries.

Eventually, the trucks will be completely driverless, but a safety driver tags along for backup for now. When the pilot program is complete in 2023, Aurora hopes to sell its autonomous trucks in select states. At that time, FedEx will also expand its driverless fleet in Texas. So, if you see a giant 18-wheeler without a driver one day, don’t worry–the computers know what they’re doing.

15 Behaviors That Reveal A Lonely Person

The whole world is your oyster, but what happens when you don’t have anyone to share in these experiences? You don’t go out much and socially isolate yourself because you’re lonely. A lonely person might struggle, and the feeling of solitude is increasing in this country.

This widespread issue is turning into a chronic problem. While some folks, like introvert, thrive on solo time, others prefer to be in the company of the masses.

You can be alone but not lonely, and you can have a house full of folks and feel all alone. So, it’s about your feelings and perceptions of life. When you feel like there’s no one to talk to about your day and hold you when you’re sad, you may be one of the lonely people walking the tightrope of depression.

Fifteen Behaviors of a Lonely Person and the Need for Compassion

Sean Seepersad Ph.D., wrote an article in Psychology Today examining whether the pangs of solitude you feel are from depression or isolation. He concludes that the two conditions are highly associated, so it’s important to distinguish the two and get help.

Are you a lonely person? Here are some signs that might be eye-opening that you never realized about yourself.

1. A Lonely Person May Gain Weight Quickly

lonely personNot every person who gains weight is lonely, but your mood does directly affect your waistline. Part of the problem is that loneliness makes you more apt to sit in front of the television, snacking rather than leaving and living. The couch potato lifestyle can lead to rapid weight gain.

It’s important to know that gaining too much weight can cause an increase in blood pressure and cholesterol and even raise anxiety levels. So, if you’re a lonely person seeking solace through food, you must find safer outlets. Food addiction can be just as problematic as alcohol or drugs.

2. You Feel Down in the Dumps

Whether you call it depression or loneliness doesn’t matter, you need social support daily. If you cut yourself off from the outside world, it can hurt your self-esteem and motivation. The longer you stay behind four walls, the more comfortable you find in isolation.

Pretty soon, that little voice inside your mind tells you that you can’t go out because people will talk about you or think you’re weird. Negative self-talk can be very convincing as soon you will believe it.

3. You Suffer From Social Media Addiction

Is it the only social interaction you get from social media or the internet? You always have your phone in hand and are ready to respond to any messages. Your life has become a digital reality; you may even fall in love and “date” virtually too.

Research cited on Study Finds uncovered that people who spend more than two hours daily on the internet are socially isolated. How much time are you tied to the world wide web each day?

4. A Lonely Person Might Feel Physical Pain With No Logical Explanation

You feel awful, and there’s no reason why you feel so bad. You’ve been to the doctor, and the tests are all clear, yet you still feel like someone run you over. Emotional pain can affect you physically and can feel as accurate as a significant illness.

5. You’re Forgetful

Who knew that being lonely could impact your memory but it can? When your loneliness arises from a mental health issue like depression, memory impairment is commonplace. Depression can inhibit your decision-making skills and make you forget important dates like anniversaries, birthdays, and paying the electric bill.

6. You’re Constantly Tired

You wake up in the morning and find it challenging to tear yourself out of bed. The only thing that keeps you going during the day is knowing that you will be able to soon crawl back into your comfortable bed and make the world away. Did you know that many lonely people use sleep as a coping mechanism?

The National Library of Medicine says that when people are lonely, they rest to pass the time. You don’t feel so lonely when resting, but getting too much sleep is just as bad as not getting enough.

7. A Lonely Person Is Often a Workaholic

Some lonely people bury themselves in their work to forget how lonely they feel. While you must work to live, being married to your job is not good. When you shut the rest of the world out so that you can work, it’s a sign you have things you want to ignore.

You’re at an increased risk of burnout if you keep up this pattern, as you need a good work-life balance.

lonely person8. You’re Friends With Other Lonely People

Take inventory of your friends; you might be surprised to find they’re lonely. Remember that birds of a feather flock together, so you find comfort in each other’s misery. Some experts believe that loneliness is as contagious as a cold, but you have the power to fight against it.

9. You Cancel Most Appointments and Plans

When someone asks you to do something or you make an appointment with the doctor, you have the best of intentions. However, when it comes down to going, you cancel. It’s a common problem faced by those who are lonely.

Pushing yourself to do things you don’t have to do becomes more challenging. While you need to work, you don’t have to go out with friends or family. You would rather sit home all day and chill, only enforcing the negative pattern you’re wrapped up in.

10. You Feel Anxious in Social Situations

Alas, you will find social situations uncomfortable once you’ve been isolated for a while. You avoid restaurants, movie theaters, and anywhere there’s a crowd, as isolating is effortless these days. You can pick up your groceries and have them loaded in your car, watch new movie releases online, and function with little interaction from others.

If you have anxiety underlying your loneliness, you could quickly develop agoraphobia. People with agoraphobia avoid social situations because they fear a panic attack or other odd sensations. These folks don’t leave their home, as facing the outside world is too painful.

11. You Have a Poor Diet of Carbs and Sugars

A lonely person doesn’t want to cook a big meal for themselves, so they grab fast food and eat processed junk. This contributes to weight gain and poor overall health. Plus, the gut-brain connection is something that’s become hard to deny.

The unhealthier your diet, the worse you feel. However, the cycle continues because you are not motivated to eat healthy or even grocery shop for nutritious foods.

12. Shopping and Overspending Is a Big Issue

One way that a lonely person pacifies their time is by shopping. You can click a button, buy a new car, and even deliver it to your door. It’s scary to think you can make a significant purchase without ever leaving your couch.

You may find that you hang out at the local mall, shopping away your troubles. Buying and collecting stuff makes you feel better and can quickly get out of hand. Many people trade one addiction for another, and there are support groups for shopaholics, as it’s a common problem.

13. A Lonely Person Could Show Signs of Aging Too Fast

It’s normal to have some fine lines and wrinkles as you age, but it can be from stress and loneliness when you age faster than average. A lonely person is often dehydrated, eating the wrong foods, and not nourishing their body cells, and all this shows in their face.

14. Your Immune System Is Weak

Did you know that loneliness and the stress it causes you can weaken your immunity? If you seem to pick up every bug coming and going, it could be because of your mental health is affecting you physically. Since getting viral sicknesses becomes effortless, you need more vitamin C, zinc, and other supplements to boost your immunity.

15. You Have Frequent Headaches

Headaches are a common issue, but having them constantly is not normal. Did you know that being a lonely person can cause you to have headaches every day? It’s all connected to your mental health and its physical effects on your body.

Your muscles tighten and become tense when you’re under stress, including emotional pressure. These tight muscles are specifically tender in the neck and back area, where most headaches originate.

lonely personFinal Thoughts on Gaining a More Compassionate Understanding of a Lonely Person

The pain of feeling alone is something that many people face every day. It’s a problem that affects people of all ages, but it significantly impacts the older generation. Women are more likely to be lonely than men, and living alone is another factor.

According to the CDC, people aged 45 and older are at an increase of loneliness, but once you hit 65, the chances of being a lonely person more than doubles. Sadly, people with poor social relationships have an increased risk of developing severe health problems like heart attacks and strokes. Socializing is not just fun but a vital part of staying healthy.

15 Behaviors Reveal Someone Who Lives a Peaceful Existence

If your life is filled with uncertainly and constant struggle, then you can’t find peace. Being in a constant state of upheaval causes anxiety and can lead to other mental health issues. However, if you want harmony and to live a peaceful existence, you need to change your focus to achieve these things.

While everyone wants to have a peaceful life, many don’t know how to pull themselves from their current state of unrest to achieve it. Are just a few moments of peace in this crazy world too much to ask? Part of being in harmony is living a balanced life.

Are you ready to make a few changes to bring about a new you filled with peace and joy? First, you must know that this isn’t going to happen overnight. You can’t just wake up one day and have it all figured out, but you can gradually get rid of the dark cloud over you and allow the soft light to shine all around you.

Fifteen Habits That Lead to a Peaceful Existence

What the world needs now more than anything is peace. If you want this peaceful existence that can maintain joy in the face of adversity, then you can start making changes today. Here are 15 ways to change your life for the better and habits of peaceful behaviors that make contentment a top priority.

peaceful existence1. They Surround Themselves With Peaceful Things

To be peaceful, you must surround yourself with things that promote peace. Folks who master this skill know that there is much violence in the world. But they don’t choose to be entertained by it. They select their television and movie content carefully, and they like music that’s not filled with degrading, hateful, and aggressive lyrics.

2. They Live in the Moment

If you want peace, you can’t look behind or in front of you, but you must learn to live in the moment. You will miss the most incredible things when you struggle with the past and worry about the future. So, remember to appreciate the precious things that are right in front of you today.

3. They’re Open-Minded

One of the beautiful things about people who live a peaceful existence is that they are very open-minded. Sure, they have their convictions and viewpoints, but they will not argue with you about them. They value you enough as a human being to listen to your point of view.

While it’s a challenge for some folks to remain open-minded and hear others’ points of view, they know that there are great rewards by doing so.

4. They Seek Forgiveness, Not Revenge

Revenge is for the weak, but it takes real strength to forgive. There are many cultural, religious, and political differences worldwide, but there is nothing worth living in resentment and anger over. The peaceful folks get offended just like everyone else, but they are eager to forgive.

They’re not the folks that are going to live by the motto “An eye for an eye.” Instead, they try to understand other folk’s points of view, put themselves in their shoes, and learn to forgive.

5. They Lower Their Expectations

When you see the words to lower your expectations, you probably think the worst. However, having your expectations set too high can cause you (and those around you) to deal with many issues. It’s only human to be disappointed and frustrated by life.

However, if you want to live in peace and harmony, you must stop expecting too much out of yourself and others. Don’t anticipate every possibility or play likely scenarios in your mind. How many hours of sleep have you lost while worrying about things that didn’t matter anyway?

According to a study cited by the Huffington Post, 85 percent of the things you worry about don’t happen anyway. So you waste all this time and energy dealing with something that will never be an issue.

6. They Don’t Try To Control Others

One of the first ways to live a peaceful existence is to stop controlling people and outcomes. Even if your heart is in the right place and you have the best of intentions, it’s not going to end well. When you have control over a situation or person, it will never go the way you want.

7. They Strive to Find Inner Peace

There’s both inner and outer peace. While both are important, finding inner peace means having calm inside you no matter what goes on around you. When you achieve inner harmony, you don’t crave things you don’t have, especially material possessions.

You learn to be satisfied with your blessings. You don’t strive to constantly make more money or accumulate more possessions, as you find that you are satisfied in all things.

peaceful existence8. They Don’t Jump to Conclusions

Someone with a peaceful existence doesn’t jump to conclusions about others. Instead, they tend to look at the person and get to know them. Even if they’re someone that isn’t easily liked, they strive to find the good in them. They don’t like judging a book by its cover, so they spend time and effort finding the good rather than focusing on the bad.

9. They Act With Compassion

To be compassionate to all is a big task, especially when someone has been violent or evil. Those that live a peaceful existence even believe that a criminal needs a second chance. They believe in a just and fair society, and they want to be an example of how to start to show kindness and compassion to all.

10. They Choose Joy

Every day when the peaceful get out of bed, they decide to choose joy. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be despair that comes their way, but it’s that they choose to remain happy in the face of adversity. They know that joy is the precursor for peace, and when they have an attitude of gratitude and a heart of compassion, they can live a good life.

11. They Don’t Self-Sabotage

Did you know that many people blame their unhappiness on others, but most of the time, it’s caused by self-sabotaging behavior? However, the peaceful see that they will live anything but friendly if they engage in worrying, adverse self-talk, and negative thought patterns. According to the Mayo Clinic, when you use catastrophizing comments about yourself, you’re hurting your mental and physical health.

They suggest you focus on less self-criticism and more self-acceptance if you want to have a peaceful life.

12. They Choose to Be the Change They Wish to See

How often do you hear someone complaining about the state of the world or even the area where they live? Now, how many of those people jump in and try to do something to help the situation?

The peaceful know that they can’t just be upset about something, but they must step in and help be the change they want to see. They don’t just sit and spew judgment about situations, as they want to jump in and help change things.

13. They Never Lose Themselves

It’s easy to lose yourself in this life. However, the desire for a peaceful life can help get you on track. The gentle folks know that they must stay true to themselves regardless of what others think. They’re not going to let someone’s opinion guide them down the wrong path. They believe in chasing their dreams and not staying in a dead-end job they hate.

14. They Have Their Priorities in Order

While a peaceful person knows that they must work and have time for other chores, their priorities are in order. They know that family and friends are essential, and the focus of your entire life shouldn’t be about gaining material possessions.

15. They Never Compare Themselves to Others

One of the most beautiful things about someone who lives a peaceful existence is that they don’t compare themselves to others. If their neighbor gets a new car, they don’t feel jealous or urge to get one for themselves. Instead, they’re happy for their neighbor, but they find contentment in what they have too. When you compare yourself to others, it’s hard to live a peaceful life.

peaceful existenceFinal Thoughts on Pursuing a More Peaceful Existence

Some folks think that living a peaceful life means not having conflict, but nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, the peace inside you gives you the strength to face challenges head-on. Someone who strives to live their life in peace and harmony doesn’t let things like conflict and conflict overtake them.

They make a conscious choice on how to live, but they know that nothing is magic. What about you? Do you want to live a more peaceful life and stop worrying, judging yourself, and comparing your life with others?

It’s not going to happen by magic, but you can start working on things slowly. The best place to start is with your outlook. Are you thankful for all the things the Universe has blessed you with, or do you have an uncontrolled desire for more?

Changing your perception of your life and your outlook for the future is essential. Get your mind out of the past and stop worrying about tomorrow. You’re letting amazing things pass you by today. A peaceful existence doesn’t come easily, but it’s worth the extra effort.

While chaos may be happening around you, you can lay your head on the pillow at night and sleep like a baby when you have inner peace.

Psychology Explains Why People Make Bad Life Choices (And How to Help)

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to make only bad choices? Why sometimes it looks like they even want to make questionable decisions? Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you want to help these people, you can’t reach them?

People make terrible life choices all the time. Sometimes humans get it wrong, from quitting a great job to investing in something with bad returns or trying dangerous things. And just because someone’s choices are questionable, that doesn’t mean they are bad people.

In this day and age, there are so many choices and so few guidelines. People just get lost sometimes. No one can juggle the responsibilities the world throws at them on their own. Sometimes, people start unraveling at the edges, and the pressure makes them do the wrong things. Just because your friend has started drinking because they can’t stand the pressures of their job, that doesn’t mean they’re a terrible person. They are just lost and need your understanding and compassion. All you need to do is learn how to be their rock when they need you to.

3 Reasons Why Some People Make Terrible Life Choices

What causes someone to make poor choices in life? Here are three things.

life choices1.    People Make Bad Comparisons

Most decisions are based on picking the best path out of several choices. If you need a new shirt, you will select a few options before narrowing it down to one. If you are offered a promotion, you will have to choose between keeping your old life or taking on something new.

For day-to-day problem-solving, people rely on heusterics. A heusteric is a cognitive shortcut that your brain relies on to make judgments quickly and efficiently. They are general rules that shorten decision-making time so that you can make choices in a split second. That way, people don’t have to stop every five minutes from thinking every little step through.

The problem with heusterics is that they are based on a myriad of stereotypes and biases. While most of those biases can be good and helpful, there’s a risk that some are not. Some experiments even show how prejudice can influence decision-making.

The Data Researchers Found

An experiment conducted by Daniel Kahneman and the late Amos Tversky demonstrates this idea. In that experiment, people were asked to spin a wheel that would choose a number between 10 and 65. Then, they were asked how many African countries are UN members. Even though the number they got when spinning the wheel had no connection to the question, it still influenced answers. The participants who got a higher number on the wheel guessed that a more significant number of African states are UN members. The behavior displayed in the experiment is commonly known as an anchoring bias.

It is because of these biases that our ability to choose between multiple options is sometimes affected. If you were raised in a household where your parents drowned their sorrows in alcohol, you might believe that is an option for you. And, when you hit an obstacle, if you have to choose between that and staying strong, you might default to what you know. That’s why people make bad life choices. Not because it’s fun, not because they want to, but because their mind is set on sabotaging them.

2.    Fears And Desires Fool People

Many psychologists and sociologists have wondered why smart people make stupid decisions in all aspects of life throughout the years. From love to money, morals, politics, or other areas, the most intelligent people can fail the most.

This is a question that even journalists have asked in the past. Javier Zarracina, a reporter from Vox, reached out to neurologist George York from UC Davis to try and answer it. They found out that a neuro-biological sequence in the brain makes people perceive the world in ways that contradict reality under certain circumstances. This shift in perception has nothing to do with IQ levels, morals, or past behaviors. They named this experience “brain shift.”

Brainshift was found to happen in two situations: when people feel elevated anxiety levels or when a significant reward is involved. In these situations, there is a much higher chance for people to do regrettable things. So, people don’t consciously decide to make bad decisions. Their brain tricks them into it. While your perception is distorted, what you are doing can seem reasonable to you, even though you would never do that in normal circumstances.

An Interesting Experiment

An experiment by neuro-economist Gregory Berns illustrates precisely this behavior. He recruited people for what he said was a visual experiment involving 3D shapes. The participants tried to determine if the shapes would match or clash when rotated. This experiment took place in groups of five, but four of those people were on the research team. They would intentionally give wrong answers to confuse the real volunteer and see how they act.

Science found that 30% of participants responded correctly, despite what they heard from the others. But MRI scans showed that the amygdala (the part of the brain associated with negative emotions) was triggered through the decision-making process. Thus, it was determined that those people experienced high levels of discomfort while answering.

For the other participants, whose answers aligned with the lies of the researchers, the parietal lobes (tasked with perception) were triggered. The amygdala was utterly avoided in a subconscious effect to avoid being uncomfortable. Knowing the answers from others altered their perceptions, making them change their answers even though, at first, they were correct.

This subconscious shift in perception makes people engage in bad decision-making that can effectively ruin their lives. At that moment, their decision might seem completely fine. When they figure out that they made a massive mistake, it might be too late.

life choices3.    People Have Issues Analyzing Situations

Information is a precious currency in today’s society. But the amount of information is so vast that it can overwhelm even the most logical person.

When having to make choices, people have to be well informed. But no one teaches how to narrow down the exact amount of information needed and handle everything they need to know. This is a problem because of two contradicting reasons: people might be dealing with information overload, or they might be struggling with a lack of information.

When it comes to lack of information, that is a bigger problem than it might seem. People always ask, “if you are poor, why don’t you just get a job?”

The Danger Of An Information Deficit

Those poor people might not have the resources to stay informed with potential job openings, the level of experience needed, and other details. Some people have inherently more access to information than others. If you were always middle-class, you have probably always known that internships are a great way to jumpstart your career. But a person who lived in a worse-off family might have never heard of the concept. That lack of information might leave them to believe they could never have a successful job because they have no entryway.

They might give up trying to achieve a career because of that. And yes, on the outside, it might seem like a terrible life choice. But the truth is, they lacked the necessary information. On the flip side, sometimes, people deal with information overload. Sometimes people know so much that they overanalyze everything to the point where they don’t even know what to believe anymore. Cherry-picking the necessary information is a much more difficult task than it seems.

Another risk is that people could get intimidated by learning new things because they wouldn’t even know where to begin. People who are dealing with an addiction decide how to solve that for a lot of reasons. But, one important reason is that they wouldn’t even know how to start getting informed about their choices.

How To Help People Who Are Making Bad Life Choices?

There are many ways to start being helpful to the people who are struggling. But there are a few specific proactive ways to be there for the people you care about.

·         Be A Role Model

If you see someone struggling and sinking deeper and deeper, try to become a role model they can follow. Share your struggles, talk about how you overcame them, and show them what exactly you did to achieve everything you have. People need to learn how to overcome a rut, but they need to see how. They need to be around people who managed to get their life together and learned how to make good decisions. So, be that person for them.

·         Give Them The Information And Advice They Need

Often, people aren’t aware that they need someone to advise them, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t step in and guide them. If you have a friend struggling with addiction, research what channels they can access to ensure they get the help they need. They might not want or have the energy to look up a good rehab facility, but you can do that for them. Or maybe a friend wants to give up their job for the wrong reasons, and they need advice.

·         Offer Them Emotional Support

When people are struggling with making decisions, all they need is somebody to lean on. They need to know they can rely on someone if everything goes south. Be their anchor when times are hard, listen to them, and try to comfort them as much as you can. Reassure them and guide them along the way.

life choicesFinal Thoughts On Why Some People Make Terrible Life Choices (And How To Help Them)

Juggling everything lie throws at you can be tricky. And decision-making can be even more challenging. Sometimes, your biases and the way your brain is wired can be the biggest obstacle you face. Emotions are another factor that can affect the quality of your decisions. Anxiety and other feelings can affect your perception of the world, and you might choose something outrageous. Also, the amount of information you have to acquire is too much, and you might risk making uninformed decisions.

If you know someone who is having trouble in life and cannot make rational decisions, you can help them. Try to be a role model and give them the advice they need. Most importantly, make sure you are a shoulder they can cry on when times get tough.

10 Things That Prove Someone is Remorseful for Past Behavior

When someone feels remorse about something they did, they will show it. But how can you tell if someone is full of remorse? Here are 10 habits to prove someone is remorseful for their past behavior.

Is there a difference between remorse and guilt?

Most psychologists say that showing remorse goes hand in hand with guilt. When you’re stricken with guilt, you feel bad about what you did and the impact it had on somebody else. Feelings of remorse and regret are key to feelings of guilt. When you feel guilty, you mull over your wrongdoing, wishing you had acted differently. This is a healthy feeling. People who show no guilt are mentally unstable.

Ten Behaviors That Prove Someone Is Remorseful

These behaviors reveal a person showing remorse

1 – They admit their mistakes

If someone hurts you, they should admit it. This person should speak and act remorsefully, without trying to defend themselves. They should say things like,

  • I’m sorry I hurt you.
  • I feel like what I said wasn’t loving. Not only that, but I realize I hurt you. I’m sorry.
  • I was wrong. Please forgive me.
  • I made a mistake when I said __________. That wasn’t loving. I’m so sorry.

When someone admits their mistakes, they display a level of transparency and vulnerability. They’re humbled by their wrong actions, and they want to make things right.

remorseful2 – They take responsibility

An obvious sign that someone is showing remorse is when they take responsibility for what they did. They admit to being wrong; they have regret and say they’re sorry. Blame-shifting isn’t on the menu, they take full responsibility. They don’t blame you or say things like

  • I was wrong, but you……
  • I wouldn’t have made that mistake if you hadn’t……
  • If you weren’t so ________, I wouldn’t have done that.

Rather than blame others, they should understand that they messed up. They should think about what they did and care enough to humble themselves to own their actions.

3 – They share a heartfelt apology

Remorseful feelings should lead the person who wronged you to apologize. This isn’t a quick, “I’m sorry.”  A remorseful confession should be sincere. If they say, they’re sorry and move on, good chance they’re not genuinely full of remorse. If their apology isn’t genuine, they may try to figure out how to get you to stop being mad at them. Some suggest that a heartfelt apology should contain three things:

  • Admit the wrong done that caused you pain
  • Explain how they plan to change in this area
  • There should be a genuine change that occurs in this area

4 – They avoid repeating the same mistake

If someone is genuinely remorseful, besides admitting their mistake and apologizing, they will attempt not to repeat the same error. No one is perfect, but people can change if they want to. Learning from a mistake is often the catalyst for actual change to happen. Mistakes reveal areas of life that need revision. Breaking the cycle means genuine change can occur because their eyes are open to their behavior.

If you notice the person is attempting to change, be sure to encourage them. Sometimes mistakes lead people to feel like giving up. But if their actions are speaking louder than their words, they will feel genuine remorse, meaning they will regret their actions. That is worth expressing gratitude.

5 – They want to fix the problem

Hurting someone has consequences. Suppose someone shares a genuine apology and works hard to avoid repeating their mistake. But sometimes there is something they need to fix because of their misdeed. This could give back the money they stole from you or replace something they broke. Of course, not everything can be replaced. If there is something that can be fixed, they should do it. Fixing the problem should be their idea, not yours because this reveals a genuine regret. Don’t minimize their efforts to correct the problem. It’s good they’re making this effort.

6 – They learn about themselves

Everybody makes mistakes, but some of the best lessons learned in life come from making mistakes. Remorse wakes a person up to their need for change in a particular area of their life. Researchers suggest that an individual’s misdeed challenges their assumptions about themselves. They realize they had a terrible judgment, or they compromised in a specific area. Mistakes are a sort of trial-and-error type of learning. Sadly, sometimes a person’s mistakes affect others. Real remorse will motivate them to learn life-changing lessons. Part of learning involves self-evaluation. Some self-evaluation questions include:

  • Why did I do that?
  • Was I trying to prove something to myself or the other person?
  • Who was I thinking about? Me or the other person?
  • How can I change?
  • Do I want to change?
  • What do I realize about myself that I didn’t know before?

remorseful7  – They show empathy

When someone is full of remorse, they feel empathy toward you. They feel sorry about the pain they caused you and empathize with you. They imagine how they would feel if you had wronged them. Empathy involves care and being able to put yourself in someone else’s place. If a person is empathetic, they’ll

  • Show they’re interested in how you feel
  • They’ll be supportive of you
  • They’ll express gratitude to you

8 – They should ask for accountability

Asking for accountability is a sign of remorse and regret. They don’t trust themselves in the sense that they know they may do the same thing again. So, they ask you to point out when they do “it” again. For instance, if someone belittles you in front of your friends, and you’ve told them how hurtful it is, they should ask you to hold them accountable if they do it. Unrepentant people don’t like accountability. They’re not interested in changing. If you want to know if someone is remorseful for past behavior, they’ll ask for your help to change.

9 – They care about how you’re feeling

Is the person sending you a text to ask how you’re doing? Did they drop off your favorite coffee drink at work? Are they reaching out to your friends to see if you’re okay? No doubt, they’re feeling bad about hurting you, and they want to express their care for you. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t bother doing these things. They have genuine feelings of remorse. Of course, they should do other things like give you a sincere apology and avoid repeating the same mistakes, but actions speak aloud, so take notice.

10 – Communicate

A person who feels remorseful will want to talk to you about what happened. They’ll urgently start a conversation. Communication will be a priority because they have a genuine desire to understand and confess the part they played. If someone avoids talking to you after they make a mistake, it could mean they don’t regret what they did. When they hurt you, someone who loves you wants to make amends. Communication is foundational for a relationship to succeed, but it takes time and effort. They will show their remorse meaning. They’ll thoroughly communicate with you about how what they did affects you and how they can change.

Can you tell someone is remorseful by looking at them?

When your friend apologizes for hurting you, do you think you’re able to tell by their face that they’re full of remorse for what they did? Probably not, according to some experts. Researchers found your past affects how you read people’s facial expressions. Your experience, knowledge of emotions, and beliefs sway your interpretation. You may think you know what remorse looks like by observing an individual’s face or body language, but you may be wrong.

Guilt links closely to remorse. Both are emotional experiences that arise when you feel you did something wrong. There isn’t a lot of research on facial expressions related to guilt or remorse, even though people say they can see in a person’s face that they feel guilty.

What’s the difference between remorse and self-condemnation?

The remorseful person humbles themselves enough to repent of their misdeed. Self-condemnation differs from remorse. It’s directed more at themselves than the person they’ve sinned against. Here’s a list of words associated with these two attitudes.

Remorse Self-condemnation
Healthy guilt Severe feelings toward yourself
regret Self-loathing
Sense of sorrow Desire to punish yourself
Accept responsibility Won’t accept responsibility
Repentance Blame others for their mistakes
Contrition Disappointment in themselves
Admit mistakes Perfectionist

remorsefulFinal thoughts on identifying a remorseful person

Everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes the mistakes hurt other people. This should cause a sense of remorse. It’s difficult to know if someone is remorseful for the pain they caused. You can’t tell by just looking at them, but these ten habits show whether they’re full of remorse. They should attempt to fix the problems they created and give you a genuine apology. Hopefully, they’ll learn from their mistake and ask for accountability, so they can avoid doing the same thing again. It’s up to you to decide their motives, but time should tell if they’re remorseful.

How Negative Trauma Affects People As They Age

Everyone has been in a place where they feel like everything is crumbling around them. You are subjected to traumatic events, and the consequences are so massive you feel like you’re never going to recover. There’s no worse feeling in this world than negative trauma.

Suffering from assault, abuse, hunger, or any other trauma can break even the strongest people. But humans are much stronger than they appear. Like a phoenix, victims will rise from the ashes more robust than ever. So, in which ways can trauma help us grow?

What Is Posttraumatic Growth?

In the 1990s, two psychologists embarked on a journey to discover if the truth lies behind the idea that you can grow after experiencing trauma. After months of research, Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun identified a phenomenon they named posttraumatic growth (PTG).

They concluded that, following the healing process, victims experienced personal growth. The next step they took was to describe the five categories of development that occurred over time. Survivors of trauma were more likely to recognize and embrace new opportunities. They strengthened their relationships with the people who supported them during tough times.

Through the knowledge acquired from what they experienced, they gained a deeper appreciation of life. After seeing that they managed to live through the trauma, victims cultivated inner strength. Lastly, their understanding of spirituality deepened and evolved.

While this research showed trauma could lead to growth, it didn’t demonstrate that it always will. The only way survivors will achieve this growth is by going through the process of healing. So yes, it is true that you can grow through trauma and never recover. Still, PTG is a theory that can be used by victims and their therapists to facilitate the healing process.

If you are struggling with processing negative trauma, reach out to people and ask for help. Find support groups, go to therapy, and stay close to people who can take care of you. It will be a long process, but you will get through it. Take all the time you need to process everything, and remember, you don’t have to heal alone. You are allowed to lean on other people.

negative traumaThe Difference Between PTG And Resilience

It is important to note that PTG is different from resilience. Resilience refers to someone’s ability to push through and overcome difficult situations. PTG is what can happen to someone who experiences something so hostile that their core beliefs are challenged. It’s the result of the healing process experienced following a psychological hardship. Someone resilient won’t experience PTG exactly because their core beliefs weren’t challenged. While resilience is a quality, PTG is a long and challenging process.

In some cases, we can grow in ways that are not encapsulated by the PTG theory. But that growth is not substantial. While that doesn’t mean it is irrelevant, it means it is less likely to be noticeable. But for most people, these five categories describe everything they experienced and more.

5 Ways Negative Trauma Can Change Us And Help Us Grow

We can grow when we understand how to learn from our emotional traumas throughout life.

1.  Negative Trauma Strengthens Interpersonal Relationships

In many cases, people don’t understand how certain valuable things are unless life puts things into perspective. Too often, we take people for granted, or, on the flip side, we trust the wrong people.

While no one should ever go through traumatic events, at least you can understand the people worth valuing. It has been shown that, after experiencing trauma, people start seeing the ones who stuck by them in a new light. When we go through difficult situations, we create deeper bonds with the people who stick by our side.

If we go through financial trouble, people who were close to us because of the money we had before will leave. But the ones who genuinely care will stick by us. Or, if we’re dealing with a disease, some people will choose to bail rather than give us the help we need.

At the moment, there’s nothing that can feel worse. Not only are you going through difficult times, but people are leaving you on top of that. And feeling like your soul was shattered to pieces is legitimate. After going through the healing process, you will understand that it is better to avoid people who don’t care. And you will feel stronger love for the ones who stayed.

Unfortunately, sometimes we go through negative trauma alone.

But even in that case, we create new bonds with the people who have been through the same trauma. For example, an alcoholic going to an AA meeting will make meaningful connections with the people they meet there.

Just remember, no matter how alone you feel, you can always find people who genuinely care. If you have no one, reach out to a support group. Being able to talk to someone who understands how you feel can be the best therapy. You will feel heard, get helpful advice, and become part of a group that will always have your back.

2.    Trauma Makes Us Aware Of New Possibilities

Often, we have a narrow view of how life should be. We have strong opinions, but we don’t even know what core morals we have or how they were formed. Because of that, life can seem like a one-way street. There’s only so much we can do, just one way of doing things. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

While no one should have to go through trauma, especially if they can broaden their horizons, difficult times are inevitable. That doesn’t change the fact that we can take on new perspectives after we heal is something we will benefit from. We might have thought that being in a romantic relationship at all times is vital. But then we encountered an abusive relationship. After getting out of that abusive relationship, we can finally realize that being happily single is possible. And that’s just one example.

Once we go through situations, we never thought we would be subjected to. Our principles are challenged. To heal, we will have to introspect and reflect. Through this process, we will get a better understanding of what we believe and why. This makes us more open-minded, which is an incentive to embrace and acknowledge more opportunities.

negative trauma3.   Negative Trauma Gives Us Newfound Appreciation Of Life

Victims of trauma can feel like the way they think will be their demise. In those moments, life can be so hard that people lose all hope. The harder we fall, the fewer things will convince us that life is worth living.

After healing, when we look back and remember how down we were, our current life will seem heavenly by comparison. While before the trauma, we might have never cared about the flowers blooming in the spring, now we might stop and marvel at their beauty. After hitting our lowest point, we finally realize that so many things we used to neglect are beautiful. Knowing how bad life can get, we will never waste the opportunity to make the most out of situations. We will find reasons to appreciate life much more than we were before.

4.  Negative  Trauma Shows Us How Strong We Are

Victims of trauma often feel like the weakest people alive. When we are at our worst, all we can think is, “How did I get here?”. We get disappointed, we blame ourselves for things that were out of our control. The more we get hurt, the more we lose trust in ourselves.

After we heal, we finally understand how strong we are. A few months prior, we thought this trauma would bring us down. But now, we have defeated it, and we emerged alive. There’s no better way to prove ourselves wrong. We become more confident than ever before. After going through all that, we are left better equipped to handle future challenges. And if we ever doubt ourselves again, we can never forget how much we’ve been through. That will give us the boost we need to overcome any hurdle we encounter.

Once we regain our confidence, we will be able to rebuild our life. Get back on track. Focus on your career again. Pick up the hobbies you had to let go of. Reconnect with people you lost touch with. Pick up the pieces of yourself off the floor, and put yourself back together in every sense of the word.

5.   Negative Trauma Deepens Our Understanding Of Spirituality

Spirituality is a broad concept that generally refers to finding a connection with something bigger than yourself. For some, that might mean religion and a link to a deity. To others, that might be a connection to a higher purpose, like dedicating their life to a goal.

Once we go through trauma, we begin to understand just how small we are compared to the world, to the Universe even. This realization will make us view the idea of a purpose bigger than us differently. Many survivors chose to open NGOs or to stay otherwise involved in activism after healing. That is because they understand that some things are more significant than them. A survivor of sexual assault who advocates for women’s rights does that because they found a bigger purpose.

When we evolve our connection to spirituality, it gives us emotional support, meaning, and strength. The more we understand what our purpose is, the more we can understand and accept ourselves.

negative traumaFinal Thoughts On How Negative Trauma Can Change Us And Help Us Grow

If you’ve ever been the victim of trauma, remember that you are not alone. No one should ever have to go through that, but you are strong; you will get through it. No matter how hopeless the situation seems, there are always ways to heal. While you will never be the same again, that doesn’t mean you will always be broken.

Different doesn’t necessarily mean bad, and PTG demonstrates that. Ne you get the help you need to get through your trauma, you will go through a complex process of personal growth. You will rediscover yourself and bounce back with renowned forces. While you might lose some things on the way, you will find yourself again.

If you’re struggling with negative trauma now, know that there’s no shame in asking for help. You don’t have to do everything alone, so ask for help. Therapy, support groups, whatever you think will help, try it. Focus on yourself, and you will eventually heal.

10 Signs of Contentment In A Relationship

The idea of spending forever with someone in contentment seems daunting to some folks, especially when you consider there are more than 7.5 billion people on planet earth.

Is contentment possible?

You can find plenty of fish in the sea. So how do you know if you’ve found the one meant just for you? One sign that you’ve found your soulmate is by the contentment you feel in your relationship.

If you’ve played the dating field any, you know that there are good relationships and troubled ones, and sometimes no matter what you do, it just doesn’t feel right.

However, finding your person, the one who completes you and makes you feel whole, is not something that everyone encounters.

According to a study published by the Washington Post, around 55 percent of the population hasn’t found true love. These folks give up on the hunt and consider themselves forever single. One indication that you’ve struck gold is by the contentment you feel inside when you’re with this individual.

Ten Signs of Contentment in a Relationship

Perhaps you question if the person you are with is the one meant for you. Things are going well, even fantastically, and you’re afraid to take the next step. Here are ten signs of contentment in a relationship that you should observe.

If you find that you have these feelings and do these things, then you, my friend, have found a rare treasure in your partner.

contentment1. You Reveal Contentment by Putting Their Needs Above Yours

When you love someone on a deep level, you automatically put their needs above yours.

For instance, one piece of their favorite vanilla cake is left from dinner. So, rather than eating this sweet treat, you save it for them.

Sure, the cake isn’t a need, but you’re putting their wants and needs above your desires. You don’t get the dream home in suburbia because it makes their commute a bit too long, and you spend an extra bit at the grocery store so they can have the foods they need for their specific diet.

You have their best interests at heart and want to do right by them, even if it means it’s a sacrifice for you.

2. Arguments Are Few and Far Between

While a little bit of arguing and having disagreements can be healthy, those tiffs are few and far between your partner. You two go together like a sock and shoe, and even if there are things that you disagree on, you find a way to work through it without theatrics. You are so in sync that you think alike, leaving little room for spats.

3. Your Safe Place Is in Their Arms

There are places in this life where everyone feels safe, and these are the spaces you hold dear. You feel secure from the world around you when you’re in their arms.

No matter how bad your day has been or how unkind life was to you, you find security and renewal when you feel their arms wrapped around you. Isn’t this what love is all about feeling safe and secure from someone who cares so much about you?

4. You Cannot Wait To Get Home to Them

Even Shakespeare noted that parting was sweet sorrow when you’re away from your loved one. However, all day long, you daydream about being home and spending time together. You count down the hours and minutes until you see them again.

You plan out dinner in your mind and find something great for you to watch on TV. You know the day will feel complete, and you’re at peace once you’re back together. Your home and the place you have built together are the best spot in the world for you.

5. You Display Contentment by Relishing Every Moment Spent Together

You look forward to those times when you get to make the world go away and focus on your relationship. You make date night a priority, and you always look for new adventures and things for you to do. Since you have a lot of similar interests, you can’t wait to explore the world with your favorite person.

contentment6. You Smile and Laugh a Lot

They say that a merry heart is like good medicine, and you know that it is true, as you smile and laugh a lot. You can always find something that makes you happy and allows you to chuckle.

You have found the person that can make a simple trip to the grocery store seem like a fun adventure. You can’t imagine what you did before they came into your life, but now you have a permanent smile.

7. You Show Contentment When Your Communication Is Good

You have no secrets and learned the fine art of communication. You will text each other throughout the day to let others know how you are doing. Your lunch and breaks are always spent conversing, and you can’t wait to get home and share the details of your day and job with them.

You run to the first when good or bad things occur in your life. They’re the individual you want to tell all your secrets too, and they’re the person that will come to your defense when the whole world is against you. Most importantly, you dream with one another about what the future will be like.

You see growing old and sitting on a porch watching the sunsets as one of the most beautiful daydreams of all, as it means that you will be together forever.

8. You Trust Your Partner A Hundred Percent

What contentment means for you is that you can trust your partner one hundred percent. You know that if they tell you something, it is the truth. You have no doubts about what they say or do, as you’ve reached complete security with one another.

They would cross a raging river to save you, and you would do the same. It is a feeling unlike anything you’ve had before, but when you trust someone so deeply, you know you will be okay no matter what comes your way.

9. You Enjoy Intimacy With One Another

Intimate matters will wax and wane throughout your relationship. However, you keep things fresh both inside and outside the bedroom. When you go out to eat, you find yourself sitting on the same side of the booth together, as you don’t want to be too far apart.

There are constant public displays of affection, and they will grab and kiss you anytime or anywhere. You know how to act in front of people, but they want your hand and heart regardless of your journey. They want to shout to the world that you belong to them, and you’ve found their love to be something of storybooks.

Being with them gives you peace in your soul that you can’t explain, but they make you happier and feel better about yourself.

10. You Use Terms of Endearment

Terms of endearment can be cheesy if you overuse them, but you find them a sign of your relationship having a deeper connection.

According to Better Help, using terms of endearment, help to remove walls that people put around their heart for protection. They allow you to communicate with one another in a unique and intimate way. Some people use these terms as cheap shop talk, but when you call each other by these pet names, it’s because you genuinely mean every word you say.

These little words are a way to bond, play with one another, and show you care. While they shouldn’t be overdone, calling your partner honey, sweetie, baby, or some other cute name is perfectly acceptable. Just don’t forget to use their real name occasionally.

Poem: Love’s Eternal Commitment

“Your love came quietly and softly,

And it encompassed all my heart.

The old ways and bad things inside myself,

Drifted as your faith in me cleansed every part.

I see in your eyes my future,

And in your arms, my safety lies.

For you, dear are my contentment,

And I will always be by your side.”

contentmentFinal Thoughts on Contentment in a Relationship

Love is a beautiful feeling, but it’s a choice. You wake up each day and choose to be with someone you desire. You chose them because they complete you in ways you never thought possible.

True love makes you a better person and helps you tear down the walls and unpack baggage you carry from previous relationships. When you find contentment and peace in your life, it radiates from the inside out. The signs that you are at ease do not require any grand announcements, as anyone who comes in contact with you knows you’ve found a gem whose love saved you.

You have found contentment if you have the love written about in storybooks. Hold on to this person, treasure them, and prioritize them.

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