Unless you’re the human embodiment of perfection, you have probably told a lie. We all have. It’s human nature to fib a little or omit the truth in order to save yourself from an uncomfortable conversation, embarrassment, or backlash.
“In all of our relationships – whether romantic, friendly or in the workplace – trust is a very important issue and necessary for a healthy relationship dynamic. Until you are in a genuinely committed relationship with someone you know well, and know has your best interests at heart, the only person you can really rely on is yourself,” says psychologist and life coach Honey Langcaster-James
In a relationship, people tend to lie to one another more than you might think. Here are some of the most common lies that people tell their partners.
Here Are 10 Lies People Tell Their Partner (That they don’t even have to)
“A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity.” – Baltasar Gracian
1. “I’m fine.”
Have you ever heard this phrase? Maybe you’ve uttered it yourself once or twice. This little white lie is one of the most told lies in a relationship.
“The one thing couples should never lie about is how they feel… Whether you are replying to the actual question or showing that you’re fine or good based on your verbal or body language, you must be truthful and open with your partner about how you feel,” says relationship coach Chris Armstrong.
Maybe you didn’t want to get into how you were feeling, or maybe you just wanted to avoid an argument. Either way, most people tell this lie once or twice (or more!).
2. How many partners you’ve had
Most people tend to fib on the lower side of how many partners they’ve had. Even if the number isn’t particularly large, or the list particularly long, we always want our current partner to feel special. If you’ve fudged the number of people you’ve been with, don’t worry. Everyone else is doing it too.
3. You like their parents
Not everyone gets along with their in-laws, or future in-laws. People tend to lie about how much they actually like their partner’s parents. They either do this to keep the peace, or because they really don’t see the point in telling the truth about their feelings. After all, for some people, blood is definitely thicker than water.
4. How much money you spend
“Couples should never lie to each other about finances. There should be an open discussion, agreements and transparency between the two of them when it comes to finances,” says psychologist Nikki Martinez.
Have you ever gone out on a little “treat yo’ self!” shopping spree, and then had to hastily hide the receipt and make up a lie about how everything was on sale? How much money that gets spent is one of the most common lies couples tell one another.
“Debt and spending habits are dealbreakers,” says relationship expert April Masini.
5. “You look great.”
This little white lie is something we sometimes have to break out in order to not hurt our partner’s feelings. Whether you’re lying about the suit that looks totally hideous, or the dress that accentuates all the wrong features, lying about how your partner looks in something is probably the most common lie told in relationships.
6. You never think about your ex
We share our love and our lives with so many different people. Even if your last relationship ended mutually, or even if you were the one to call things off, your feelings don’t just disappear. It’s not a bad thing to think about your ex sometimes, and to remind yourself of the feelings you had. But, it might cause jealousy, so that’s why some people choose to fib about it to their current partners.
7. You like their cooking
If your partner isn’t particularly skilled in the kitchen, you’ve probably mastered the art of chewing with a straight face … or getting to the kitchen to start dinner first. Most people lie about the skill of cooking that their partners have. After all, if they never try, how are they going to get better? Sometimes, a little white lie is a good thing.
“Many of us don’t want to hear the awful truth every time. Say someone asks you how she looks. She probably wants to hear that she looks great. If she doesn’t look great, and we tell her the truth, we create a conflict and have to deal with the results,” adds a study on the University of Rochester Medical Center.
8. “I agree with you.”
Being in a relationship is about having each other’s backs. If your partner gets into an argument, or disagreement, with someone else, you’ve probably stood up for them. Even though people may not particularly agree with their partner in the argument, they’re probably going to lie and say they do. After all, solidarity in a relationship is important.
9. “You’re the best.”
When it comes to being physically intimate, people tend to lie to their partners about how good they are in bed. That isn’t to say that people don’t enjoy the things they do with their partners. They just tend to fib about HOW good, and whether or not they’re the best partner they’ve ever had. There’s no reason to make your partner self-conscious or jealous about relationships in the past. So, people tend to fib.
10. What you really look like
Unless you live together, and your partner sees you every day, you might be lying (just a little!) to your partner about what you really look like. Maybe you only send your best-looking selfies, or maybe you only see one another when you’re done up and looking your best. This is one of the most common little white lies that partners tell one another.
Lying isn’t a good practice in a relationship. In fact, the best thing to do is to try and omit these lies without being hurtful with your honesty. But no one is perfect, and most of these are lies that help keep the peace and avoid hurting your partner’s feelings. If you find yourself telling these lies in your relationship, don’t worry. You’re not alone.