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3 Ways to Release Negative Thoughts

June 2, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

We all have them…but how do you release negative thoughts? Do you ever feel like you can only see things in a negative light? Do you wish you could be happier and freer?

Especially in today’s environment, where people’s lives become more stressful as the days go on, negativity can become a habit. One little harmful thought that goes ignored can spark an entire change of mentality. Sometimes, you don’t even notice it until it’s too late. So, if you want to make sure you never get in that situation, you need to learn to release negative thoughts.

Why Should People Release Negative Thoughts?

In a single day, people can have up to 70,000 thoughts, researchers say. Because of the sheer number of things that cross your mind, inevitably, you will experience some unwanted things. You can’t control all those thousands of thoughts, so some are bound to go rogue.

One reason unwanted thoughts might creep into your mind is that your negative beliefs stem from positive intentions. Most people don’t like to be burdened by negativity, so they don’t realize that they’re engaging in negative thinking. But the truth is, in some scenarios, your brain might want to make you be a pessimist to protect you. If you’re thinking about applying for a challenging position, your brain might make you believe you are not qualified, so you don’t apply at all. It feels that if you don t apply at all, you can’t be rejected. Thus you can’t get hurt. So, negative thoughts are intended as a barrier between you and failure.

Many people are even born and raised in an environment full of pessimism spread by toxic people. Because of that environment, they develop a negative bias. This means some people care more about adverse events rather than positive ones. They dwell on criticisms or insults rather than being able to balance out the good and the bad. Past traumas can also make people prone to negativity. The more you were hurt, the more significant the impact of future adverse events.

If you are prone to negativity, that means positive events will be less important to you. You will not register praise as you should. Instead, you’ll more likely brush it off and refocus on criticisms. And that’s not the worst thing negative thoughts can do to a person. Because of the mind-body connection, your thoughts can affect how your health. Negative thoughts cause stress and feelings of anxiety, which can lead to long-term struggles with anxiety disorders.

Negative thoughts can stop your brain from producing endorphins and other chemicals that keep your health in balance. The stress associated with negativity can make the body release hormones that speed up your heart rate and breathing, thus increasing blood pressure. In the long term, this can lead to heart issues, such as a higher risk of a heart attack. Alongside those issues, negativity weakens your immune system, can lead to stomach issues and increases the risk of insomnia.

3 Ways to Release Negative Thoughts

To avoid all the issues associated with this type of thinking, you must learn to release negative thoughts and enjoy life.

1. Become Aware Of Toxic Thoughts

On the surface, this might seem like straightforward advice requiring little effort. In reality, many people struggle with harmful and toxic thoughts precisely because they aren’t aware of them. After so many years of normalizing negative thinking, many people struggle with identifying how such a thought looks like.

In general, negative thinking patterns can be grouped into a few categories:

Overgeneralization
Jumping to conclusions
Catastrophising
Labeling
“Should” statements
Emotional reasoning
Blame

All these types of thoughts have one thing in common: they are irrational. They often stem from misconceptions about how you should evaluate and judge specific situations. Or, they result from certain stereotypes or thought patterns you learned when you were young. Because of this, it’s hard to identify that there’s something wrong with them.

When you think, “should I go for that job I’ve always wanted” at first sight, nothing seems toxic. But that thinking can quickly lead to self-doubt. Ultimately, you could end up rejecting the possibility that something good can come out of pursuing that dream.

The pragmatic outcomes are similar for all other toxic thought patterns listed previously. Overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, and labeling can stop you from trying something good because you base your thinking on misconceptions. Catastrophizing will only make you irrationally afraid. Blame will make you be too hard on yourself. And emotional reasoning, like saying you don’t like something because it’s unnatural, leads to bad decisions.

Whenever you find yourself thinking something that conforms to these thought patterns, write them down. This way, you won’t be able to brush them off or forget them. This habit will force you to be aware of how many toxic thoughts you allow daily. Once you write them down, try to understand how they can affect you. If you find yourself labeling people, try to know where that is coming from. Try to understand what stereotypes or fears you have that fuel those labels.

Once you write everything down, you become aware of your thoughts. Then, you can start working on the root issues that stop you from realizing negative thoughts.

2. Be Proactive in Working to Release Negative Thoughts

Being aware of your evil thoughts is a start, but it’s not enough to release those thoughts. You need to be proactive and pursue self-bettering techniques.

Take time to think about why those thoughts form. What core beliefs do you have that fuel negativity? Could there be something wrong with those beliefs? For example, if most of your negative thoughts are blaming yourself, understand why. Is it because you think you must be perfect every second of the day? If so, try to work on letting go of perfectionism. Is it because you believe you have to do everything alone? If so, try to let people help you more. Try asking yourself these types of questions whenever you are a pessimist.

Instead of being self-critical, you should start being curious. If a situation is hard to deal with, try to learn how to tackle it rather than catastrophizing it. The world is not going to crumble around you if you don’t have all the answers. You can ask others for their opinion, get help, and learn how to improve. Always focus on the silver linings of the situations you go through. Instead of saying “this is too hard,” understand that if you pursue this, even if you fail, you can learn something. But if you let your negativity stop you from doing things, you will stagnate.

If you struggle to make yourself act positively, try to practice mindfulness. Meditation and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be helpful tools to guide you. You can meditate to clear your head and focus on identifying the core issues you must fix.

If you need to reach out to a specialist, many of them will use CBT. This is a technique meant to rewire your brain to a new default attitude. One thing you might try if you start CBT is the “then what?” exercise. The premise of this exercise is simple: ask yourself, “then what?” after experiencing a negative thought. If you’re sure you shouldn’t try to pursue a promotion because you will fail, ask yourself, “what if you fail?”. The worst that could happen is you don’t get the promotion, and your life stays the same. But if you pursue that dream, you can reach it. If you don’t try at all, you will never get what you want. This exercise can put everything into perspective and give you a more objective understanding of the situations you find yourself in.

If you feel defeated in tricky situations, try to see how you can change that. Instead of thinking you’ll never find a job, know how to improve your resume. Don’t let negativity take over your actions. To release negative thoughts, you need to act positively.

3. Let Go Of Judgement

Judgment is one of the things that are hardest to get right. You can be constructive in your criticisms, but judgment alone stems from negativity. When you are judgmental, you only throw empty criticisms around without giving constructive advice.

You probably know a lot of toxic people who judge everything around them. And you probably avoid those people. But you might be doing that too. Sometimes, it’s easier to find negative things to say about someone rather than accept their strengths. People are hardwired to compare themselves to others. And when that comparison doesn’t favor them, they default to nit-picking rather than taking their inferiority in certain areas. Sometimes people judge others because they are different.

If you engage in this toxic behavior, be aware that this attitude keeps you in a negative bubble. What you can do to get out is to accept that being different isn’t inherently wrong. Someone looking different, and having different opinions doesn’t make them inherently bad. Someone being better than you in one area doesn’t mean you don’t have your strengths. To release those negative thoughts, you need to change your core views. Try to focus on learning above everything else. If your work colleague can do something better than you, ask them how they did it instead of judging them.

Judging others, or yourself, will only make you mad, stressed, or sad. If you make it your goal to value people’s strengths, you become more open to learning, thus growing individually.

Final Thoughts On How To Release Negative Thoughts

Struggling to become more positive presents a challenge. It can affect all areas of your life, from health to work, relationships, etc. The only way to release negative thoughts for good is to rewire your brain and work towards making positivity your default state of mind. Fortunately, there are ways to do this.

You can embark on this journey alone and follow the previous steps or ask someone to help you. Don’t be too harsh on yourself; any progress is good. If you feel stuck, don’t be afraid to get professional help.

3 Behaviors A Go Getter Displays Without Realizing It

June 2, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

What can be so special about a go getter? After all, aren’t they just people who care about nothing but reaching specific goals?

While it certainly might seem like it, there’s much more substance to a go-getter than it might seem. Unfortunately, this concept is often misunderstood. This outcome is also why people run away from go-getters, and they’re afraid of becoming one. But there’s nothing to be wary of. If you think you might be a go-getter, don’t listen to all the stereotypes. Instead, read on to find out what behaviors you display without realizing it.

What Does It Mean To Be A Go Getter?

Commonly, a go-getter is known as a person who is goal-oriented to a fault. Some might even call them “aggressively enterprising people.” They are seen as very energetic and determined to be successful.

A go-getter might look like your colleague at work who is always knee-deep in work. They might be those college students who never leave their dorm because they’re studying 24/7. Everyone knows at least one go-getter or has encountered one in the past. And you know they are serious, dedicated people.

Unfortunately, many stereotypes surround the go-getter personality. They are considered vicious, cold, and cut-throat. Many people think that go-getters will step on everyone who stands in their way to get to what they want. And if that’s not the misconception, then they are called workaholics. People seem to think that go-getters can’t have a fun and well-rounded social life.

This perception all stems from the façade that go-getters create. They have an “eye on the prize” mentality, and they work hard to stay focused. Just because they don’t make jokes at work doesn’t mean they don’t know how to have fun. They know there’s a time to be serious and a time to have fun. They choose to work as hard as possible until they reach their goals, even if that means sacrificing fun for a while.

Go-getters’ main struggle is that other people don’t understand them. As a regular person, it’s hard to empathize with their need to sacrifice their short-term pleasure for more significant goals. That’s why they have to deal with being outsiders. If you’re a go-getter, you know how this feels. You don’t have time to give people the attention they need, so they distance themselves from you.

3 Behaviors A Go Getter Displays Without Realizing It

If you are a go getter, you probably think you know everything there is to know about your personality. But you might display a few behaviors you weren’t aware of.

1. Go Getters Have A Lot Of Fears

At first glance, this might seem either unrealistic or undesirable. How is it possible that someone who goes all-in for their goals is also afraid? And why is that even a good thing?

If you’re a go-getter, you might even be confused or outright offended by this possibility. Obviously, you can’t be afraid. What you might not know is that, for many go-getters, fear fuels your sense of purpose. You might not be aware of those fears, but they are there.

Some people view fear as a weakness. Many people don’t think people who have many fears possess leadership qualities. But that’s not the case for go-getters. For them, it’s the thing that grounds them to reality. Because they dream big, fears act as a check and balance mechanism. Your brain uses fear as a reminder of your limitations. This way, it subconsciously stops you from taking unnecessary risks. It pushes you to be practical and prevents you from wasting your time on projects that have no pay-off. Thus, you might display pragmatic behavior without even knowing.

Growing from your fears

Fear acts like a voice in the back of your mind telling you not to pursue something. Because of that, it’s easy to miss the actual reason why you act with caution in certain situations. But a go-getter should be aware of their fears. They are some of the only people who can use fear as an asset. Fear empowers them.

Knowing how far you are willing to go to reach something gives you an edge in decision-making. You don’t have to spend hours dwelling on the pros and cons of a decision because fear has already created clear boundaries for you. It also produces high standards for you and those around you. It makes the perfect balance between aiming high but not too high.

Being afraid also pushes you to be inventive when trying to work around an issue. Because you don’t want to let minor setbacks stop you in your tracks, you will get creative. If one solution doesn’t work, you will drop it and go to the next possibility. This makes you incredibly resourceful in the long run.

The more you become aware of what your fears are, the better you get to know yourself. And a go-getter fully connected to who they are is unstoppable.

2. Go-Getters Fail Often And Fail Hard

They might not realize it, but go-getters are the champions of failing. Again, how is that a good thing? Isn’t the whole point of being a go-getter to reach specific goals? Exactly because that’s the goal. You should be able to roll with the punches if you want to be a go-getter.

Most people take on something, fail, and then never try to do anything like that again. Failure is usually the most effective way to stop someone’s efforts. But not for go-getters. The more they fail, the stronger they come back. The ability to take everything in stride and persevere is what makes them exceptional.

Failure is not the end of your efforts, as many people would believe. If used correctly, it’s the most effective learning tool out there. Say you’re trying to start a business. Entrepreneurial training can only get you so far. You need to get out there, put your ideas into practice, and accept that you will fail sometimes.

Learning life lessons after a failure

The harder you fail, the more you can learn. And you can’t create something great without taking enormous risks. Of course, this doesn’t mean taking stupid risks. Even the most significant risks are still calculated. Failing tests and improves go-getters’ perseverance and flexibility. The better you can bounce back after a fall, the better suited you will be for the next task you take on.

Something great about go-getters is that they are unconcerned about what could go wrong. They understand loss is just a part of fulfilling a greater sense of purpose. They don’t care if others see them fail. Besides that, they aren’t bothered if their image gets stained by those failures, and so they aim far beyond fast, short-term accomplishments. They aren’t concerned about what their peers think of them. This confidence allows them to do whatever they need without having to stress about disappointing anyone.

If you’re a go-getter and you don’t think you display this behavior, think again. How do you act when something goes south? Do you give up and go back to your safe space? Or do you get up and try again? If you answered with the latter, you could be sure you’re a true hustler.

3. Go Getters Aren’t The Loudest In The Room

You might think that a person who puts their goals above everything will have an inflated ego. You might believe they want to make their presence known at all times. But go-getters know when to be patient. They also know that preserving their energy is more important than being heard at all times. That’s why they don’t bother being the loudest in the room. Instead, they try to be the most resourceful.

While go-getters will fight tooth and nail for what they believe in, they’re fighting a war. They know they don’t have to win every single battle to win the war. Instead, they need to approach issues strategically. Say they’re in a business meeting. They know there’s no need to jump in whenever they get an opening.

Fighting with people isn’t going to get them closer to their goals. Listening, taking mental notes, preparing a coherent argument, and expressing their opinion concisely is a much better tactic. They want people to remember what they said. So, they go for quality over quantity. If you talk for ten minutes, but you say virtually nothing, you didn’t accomplish anything. But if you spoke for three minutes persuasively, you can be sure you got your point across.

Moreover, they’re more concerned with coming up with plans rather than engaging in irrelevant fights. Whenever they encounter a problem, rather than arguing about it, they use their time to develop unique perspectives. If in a meeting everyone has been fighting for half an hour, and the go-getter was silent and contemplative, you can be sure they’re cooking up something.

After all, that time spent fighting, the only one who will develop a strategy will be the go-getter. Their ability to listen and analyze situations with a clear mind allows them to get creative and figure out the best course of action. Most go-getters don’t even notice that they do this. But it comes from their innate inclination towards being analytical. They would instead leave their mark pragmatically, build something, reach a goal, then be heard for a minute and forgotten in the next.

Final Thoughts On Some Behaviors A Go Getter Displays Without Realizing It

Go-getters have certain innate qualities that make them purpose-driven, qualities they don’t even know about. Their brain is hardwired so that they act in the best ways to reach their goals without realizing it. Some of these qualities might even seem incompatible with the core values of a go-getter. But they’re all complementary, and together they create a person fully equipped to accomplish big things.

Because of how realistic they are, they have many fears. But, unlike other people who lose their nerve when afraid, go-getters are fuelled by it. Fear is what keeps them grounded while also motivating them. When go-getters fail, they fail hard. But they take every failure and learn from it. They get better every try. And they are unbothered by the risks they take because they know every risk is calculated.

Lastly, they don’t bother making themselves heard whenever possible. The go getter would instead accomplish pragmatic things and prefer to be seen rather than heard.

11 Ways to Love Again After a Heartbreak

June 1, 2022 by Chris Butler

Romantic breakups are hurtful and confusing. Because of the pain, you may feel as if you will never be in love again. Lost love is just too painful. If you’re feeling like this right now, you are not alone. Many people have gone through something similar. As difficult as it is to believe, it is possible to love again. Here are some suggestions to help you love after a heartbreak.

How do you heal after a breakup?

It can take some time to heal after heartbreak. Here are some suggestions on what you can do to encourage healing after a break-up.

Talk with your friends or family

It’s important to talk to a trusted friend or family member. After a breakup, you will feel lonely. But you need to get stuff off your chest. Get together with a trusted friend or family member. Set a limit on how much you talk about your ex. Make it clear that you don’t want to share all the details about what happened, but you need someone who will listen to you. Having someone to talk to is a healthy way to heal.

Plan your future

Make plans. Make plans for the upcoming holidays or summer vacation. Is there a country you have always wanted to visit? Maybe now is the time to plan that trip. Set goals for yourself. What are the things you’ve always wanted to do, but put them off because you were too busy being in a relationship? Maybe you should join a book club or take a pottery class. How about taking a Jitsi class with your best friend? Try to remember who you were before the relationship. Be that person again and do those things you planned to do. You won’t regret it.

Write in a journal

A breakup is an emotional experience. Do some self-evaluation. Get in touch with your feelings. Try journaling to express your thoughts and feelings. Researchers say that writing helps people deal with personal grief. It allows you to better understand yourself and make sense of your feelings. Being able to go back and read your journal entries is helpful. You’ll be surprised how your feelings change and your outlook on life has improved over time.

Here are 11 ways to love again after a heartbreak

Try these behaviors to try to regain your footing after a lost love.

1 – Give yourself some time

After a breakup, don’t rush back into dating right away. Give yourself some time to get back into life again. Pay attention to signs when you are ready to date again. If you find yourself not thinking about the breakup that much, and you’re enjoying being out with friends, that’s a good sign you’re healing. Eventually, you’ll be able to think about dating again, but give yourself some space to truly heal.

2 – Take care of yourself

If you’ve had a breakup, take good care of yourself. Romantic breakups are emotionally draining. You may not feel you don’t want to get out of your bed in the morning, but it’s important to do it for your emotional health. Take care of yourself by eating well and getting some exercise. Don’t sit at home by yourself, spend time with others. At first, your heart won’t be into doing this, but over time you will begin to feel better. Eventually, your mood will improve, you’ll be more positive, and you’ll feel like yourself.

3 – Stay upbeat

After breaking up, it may be hard to feel positive about your life. But part of your healing is to stay upbeat even on your darkest days. Focus on all that is good in your life. Find ways to be grateful. Complaining and getting bitter will only make you feel worse. Adopting a positive mindset will help you feel better about your life and your future.

4 – Block their posts

If you’re an enthusiastic social media follower, fight the urge to see what your ex is doing. Seeing their posts won’t be helpful to your heart or mind. The best thing you can do is block their social media site, which means all of them. Studies show that constantly monitoring your ex after a breakup causes emotional distress. This type of social media stalking creates an unhealthy breakup with the other person. Blocking your ex may feel drastic, but you must heal and move on with your life. You can do it!

5 – Forgive

One way to be sure you will be able to love again is to forgive your ex-partner. Forgiving them doesn’t mean that everything that happened was okay, or that you forgot how painful the breakup is. It means you are letting go of it. You acknowledge that, like you, the other person is human. Both made mistakes of you, and you will not hold this over the other person’s head. Forgiveness allows you to experience both emotional and spiritual health.

6 – What can you learn?

You want to love again, that’s understandable, but what can you learn from your failed relationship? Do you realize that you tend to choose bad partners? Perhaps you’re looking to be rescued or to rescue others. Do you gravitate towards people who aren’t good for you? Trying to learn from a failed relationship takes real self-evaluation. It can be painful to admit your unhealthy habits related to a relationship. Don’t beat yourself up, but try to understand yourself better.

Notice some unhealthy tendencies in yourself and your relationships. It could be helpful to consider seeing a counselor to help you identify why you are prone to these bad choices.

7 – Consider what you want in a partner?

Use this time after a breakup to evaluate what happened in your relationship. What did you learn about yourself or the other person? Then take some time to consider what you want in a partner. Ask yourself some questions, such as…

What character qualities are important to me? Kindness, loyalty, understanding?
What about their attitude towards family, faith, and friends?
What things would you like them to enjoy? Music? Art? Sports?
Evaluate yourself and what things you want to grow or change. Do you want to grow in generosity, kindness, or helping others?

Evaluating what you want in a partner will guide you when you date again.

8 – Don’t carry relational baggage to your new relationship

When you do date, avoid talking about your lost love. You don’t want to carry your relationship baggage into a new relationship. Don’t gossip about them or discuss details of your relationship. This will make the other person uncomfortable and start your relationship off wrong. Start over and leave the past behind.

9 – Help others

Reach out and help others in your church, community, or neighborhood. An ancient proverb says, … those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25 NLT) turns out, this wise saying is true. Researchers say that being concerned for others by helping them will improve how you feel. It can make you feel happier about your life. Some ways to help others include:

Volunteer at a school or hospital
Buy someone lunch
Get groceries for a needy family
Spend time with an elderly neighbor
Donate time at a homeless shelter

Sometimes the best way to love again is to get the focus off yourself and on to the people around you who are in need.

10 – Be realistic

It’s good to have a positive mindset as you consider dating again, but you must be realistic. If you expect that you’re going to find the love of your life right away, you may be disappointed and frustrated. Finding a good partner will take time. You may be alone for a while, but that’s okay. Enjoy being single and having the freedom to do things you can’t do if you’re in a relationship. Keep a realistic view of your future.

11 – There’s more to life

Even though you feel you’ll never love again, remember there is more to your life than having a relationship. As important as having that certain someone in your life, you can have a full, happy life without a relationship. You don’t need a relationship to validate your worth. It’s important to focus on other people and parts of your life. Spread some love to your friends and family.

Final thoughts on learning how to love again

You may feel you’ll never love again, but time can help heal a heart. Grieve. Remember, you aren’t alone. Many people have experienced heartbreak like this and they’ve made it through. You can, too! You can find meaning in your life as a single person. Whether you do the things you used to or help others, you can enjoy life again. When it’s time to date, consider what you want in a partner and be strategic about who you date. Be positive and stay focused on your future. There will be a time to love again, so don’t give up.

10 Ways to Take Negative Feedback In A Good Way

June 1, 2022 by Chris Butler

Wouldn’t it be great if everybody in your circle praised you and never found fault? Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen in the real world, and discouraging words are even spoken around many peoples’ homes. How can you deal with negative feedback and keep your dignity?

Do you have a friend or loved one who is a people pleaser and doesn’t want to offend? They will often say what they think you want them to say and won’t offer their honest opinion. The truth can hurt, and it takes a genuine person to give an unbiased view, even if you don’t like it.

Everyone is under constant scrutiny by family, friends, and society. Often, criticism is unwarranted and comes from mean-spirited people. They give blunt, rude comments that are meant to hurt and hinder.

However, constructive criticism from genuine friends is meant to help you make necessary changes. A verse in the book of Proverbs explains that wounds from a friend are faithful. In other words, criticism may hurt, but sincere friends talk to you in love and for the right reasons.

Criticism in Your Love Relationship

In the arms of your significant other, you find sanctuary and acceptance. You are vulnerable and speak your heart without fear or intimidation. As with the wounds of a friend, your person may need to draw your attention to flaws and mistakes.

People in loving relationships know each other’s hearts and intentions. If they mention an issue causing them worry or grief, they know you want to fix it. Try not to take it as a personal assault and try to shift the blame to them.

It’s a two-way street, and sometimes lovers will quarrel and voice unfair criticism. However, couples in lasting relationships have learned to tell the difference between angry words and constructive criticism. No relationship is perfect, and it’s a beautiful journey of discovery and growth.

Professional Critiques and Negative Feedback

Reviewing your job performance is one of the most frequent examples of negative feedback.

To measure employee performance and improvement, most companies conduct periodic reviews. You probably have job performance reviews with your boss quarterly or annually. The supervisor uses these reviews to evaluate your contribution to the company and address any shortcomings.

Most people feel nervous during these evaluation meetings because they don’t want to hear anything negative. Also, your job performance marks can make a difference in your salary.

Although you strive for the highest marks and outstanding comments, it’s unrealistic. Such reviews wouldn’t highlight your strengths and weaknesses, and you’d have no benchmark for growth. You’d have no initiative to work harder and make higher goals unless you know what to correct.

Negative comments are a necessary pain on your job performance review. Your supervisor may also take you aside anytime during the workday to point out errors. How you respond can make the difference between the boss seeing you as a teachable employee or noncompliant.

You’ll encounter many similar negative feedback examples in life, and yes. They all hurt to hear.

Ten Ways to Accept Negative Feedback

Whether you receive constructive criticism at home or work, you decide how it affects you. Turning these negative comments into a learning tool takes personal skill and maturity. Here are ten tips to consider when you receive criticism.

1. Step Back from the Negative Feedback for a Couple of Seconds

When someone criticizes you, it’s a natural response to lash out in self-defense immediately. It can happen at home or work during a performance review. Remember that your words and actions are more effective when you pause before you speak.

Instead of blasting the person giving you constructive criticism, try to hear them out. Take a breath and consider what you’ve heard. It will give you enough time to respond to the complaint calmly and rationally.

2. Reflect on the Negative Comments

You may not completely understand a critique someone gives you because it pushes many emotional buttons in your mind. You’re often ready to go into a heated discussion without knowing the other person’s points and intentions. Even though it’s hard, try to be an active listener.

After you’ve heard the criticisms and paused for reflection, ask the person to clarify their points with examples. For instance, if they think you didn’t put forth your best effort, ask them how they came to that conclusion. You may understand why they criticized you if they are armed with objective evidence.

3. Avoid Diving Into Defensive Mode

Defensiveness serves as a way to protect your character and competence. It involves a lot of intense emotion, especially anger. However, Dr. Hendriksen warns that it can backfire on you if you get defensive when facing negative feedback.

4. Hold Your Temper When You Receive Negative Feedback

How many times have you had an explosive reaction to someone and later regretted it? An angry, defensive mode can hurt your personal and professional life. It can distance you from your supervisor, coworkers, or your mate. Such tantrums make you look immature and unstable.

5. Find the Positive in the Negative Feedback

When people critique your words, actions, or accomplishments, it can automatically give you tunnel vision. All you can hear is the negativity; you’re oblivious to any positive points within the discussion. Psychologists call this phenomenon the negativity bias.

A study published in the Psychological Bulletin by Amrisha Vaish explains negativity bias as your tendency to be affected by negative things more so than positive ones. While psychological experts believe that this bias is developed from childhood to adult, there’s much information that’s still unknown.

6. What’s Their Motive?

One way to help you through negative bias is to consider the other person’s motive. Is your boss, partner, or friend offering negative feedback to be cruel, or are they trying to help you? Understanding their concerns and motivations will reveal some of the positive messages within the criticisms.

7. What’s the Next Step?

You’ve listened intently to your performance being critiqued and paused to reflect on the speaker’s words and intentions. Perhaps you’ve gleaned some positive notes in the criticism. You did a good job staying calm and collected; now it’s your turn to speak.

Try asking the other person some essential questions that show you listened and want to improve. Questions like “What are your suggestions for improvement?” or “What are my goals for doing this task more efficiently?” Those with your best interests want you to succeed and do what they can to help.

8. Ask for Some Time to Collect Your Thoughts

Good managers won’t demand that you respond immediately if you’ve received negative feedback during a job performance review. Requesting time to review and reflect on the conversation and any negative points is okay. Not only does it prevent you from being impulsive, but it shows the other person that you’re taking it seriously.

Hearing negative feedback from your partner or a friend is a bit more complicated. However, the same principles apply, and you’re wise to reflect on the conversation before responding. Your thoughts will have more clarity and won’t be as clouded by emotions.

9. Make an Action Plan

Of course, some points in the negative feedback may be miscommunicated or invalid. These are things you can discuss during your response. Remember to be calm and professional and not argumentative.

Ask pertinent questions, and request that your supervisor helps you draft an action plan. On one side of the paper, the negative feedback is outlined point by point. Now, go to the right sight and describe how you’ll remedy the challenge and the timeline. Put a positive slant to it and call it your goal.

You can do the same thing at home with your family. If you have some personal habits that you must change, make a reasonable action plan. Visualizing your goals may make it easier to make positive changes and avoid negative thinking.

The boss is allowing you to recognize your weak areas and improve them. As you mark off each completed goal, you have positive actions identified in your following review. Making and completing an action plan takes determination.

10. Go Forward

Most professional job performance reviews outline challenges, goals, and how much time you must implement them. When you’ve worked hard and thought you did your best, any negative feedback can feel like a slap in your face. These stinging critiques may linger in your mind and cause you to harbor resentment.

Even after you’ve reached your goals for improvement, you may still have a grudge against your boss. Try to use the critique as a learning curve and put any resentments behind you. You’ve listened, made changes, and have grown professionally. Take these lessons and move on.

Are you still vexed that your partner or friend called you out on a shortcoming? Instead of shifting the blame, own your mistakes and try to fix them. Apologize, make amends, and let these criticisms make you a better person.

Final Thoughts on Using Negative Feedback to Your Advantage

If your world were all sunshine, you wouldn’t have the rain to nourish and sustain life. Likewise, it would help if you had a balance of positivity and negativity to learn and progress personally and professionally. You find the rainbow in the showers as you change for the better and learn from your mistakes.

6 Ways Setting Priorities Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

June 1, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

In your life journey, your time is finite. It sounds morbid, but it’s true! You have a set amount of space every single day in order to do what you need to do. When you have big dreams and goals, that limit on your time can feel restrictive. You may feel like you never have the time to do the things you need and want! If this sounds like you, setting priorities is a must for you.

That’s where priorities come in. The exact meaning of a priority can differ from person to person, but the gist is pretty simple. Essentially, a priority is something that you put urgency and importance on. It’s the subject that holds your focus and it’s what you consider the most important thing above your many responsibilities.

Of course, there can be more than one priority for each person. More specifically, most individuals have a list of priorities, ranked in terms of how important they are. These priorities often also correlate to an internal set of values. They determine how you spend your time and what you’re willing to sacrifice if need be.

Setting priorities is a powerful tool when it comes to taking control of your life. When you know how to set your priorities, you’ll also be able to achieve better productivity and effectiveness. This is why this activity can be so crucial to reaching the success you seek in life! Here are six ways setting priorities can help you achieve your goals.

1. Setting Priorities Helps You Adapt

Priorities are not static things. Different points in your life will require different subjects of focus. If you learn to set good priorities, you’ll also get a lot of practice in adapting to new situations and life requirements.

Much like priorities, goals aren’t meant to be static. Unfortunately, not many people realize that! It’s a common thought that if you have a goal, you can’t change it or you’ll be abandoning it and giving up. But that’s not the case at all! The goals you made ten years ago were a reflection of the person you were then. The person you are now will likely have different visions of the future.

Being able to prioritize allows you to recontextualize your goals as and when you need to. When your life shifts in unpredictable ways, you’ll be rolling with the punches and learning more about what you want in life. You’ll be happy to make adjustments to your life and will handle destabilizing challenges from your journey in more positive ways.

2. Setting Priorities Ensures That You Know Yourself

Your goals are a big deal to your future. If you don’t know yourself well enough, you won’t be able to make goals that are true to you. A lot of people make the mistake of deciding their dreams based on others. Luckily, priorities don’t often wind up in that situation, and here’s why!

You have to decide what’s most important to you. Things that don’t truly matter aren’t priorities – and in fact, they’re typically things that you can leave behind. You won’t wind up deciding to prioritize something that you don’t truly want.

You need to be honest with yourself if you want to prioritize in a positive way. Lying to yourself won’t truly allow you to set genuine priorities. “Fake” priorities will fall apart pretty quickly, and you won’t be able to ignore that.

Prioritization means being able to learn and self-reflect. We’ve already said that as time goes on, your priorities will shift and change. You can only properly adapt to these factors if you’re practicing healthy and mindful reflection.

3. Setting Priorities Lets You Think Ahead

Making goals short-sightedly is almost sure to result in a bunch of bad expectations and disappointment. While your goals do need you to dream big, they also need you to maintain some degree of realism. Being able to plan ahead lets you properly set long-term goals and outline steps to achieve them.

Setting priorities is one fantastic way to ensure that you’re thinking ahead. In order to determine what is best for you, you need to use critical thought. You’ll have to place yourself in the shoes of a future you and decide what would be best for them. This kind of thought allows you to determine what to go for first.

This ability to look ahead also lets you put some metaphorical space between yourself and your goals. The resulting “distance” allows you to view your ideas with a critical, third-party eye so you make more rational choices.

4. Setting Priorities Gives You Positive Step-By-Step Management

Goals consist of more than just one big dream. They are often made up of smaller, more short-term goals. These little steps help you work your way towards your desired end result in a reasonable way. But how can you ensure that those small steps are actually effective and helpful? Well, prioritization can help you!

Sometimes, goals can get stifled by a tendency to do tiny things first. Instead of tackling large but necessary steps, you’d rather fiddle with little fusses that have less of an effect. This can happen because:

Finishing small things gives you a reward of the feel-good hormone dopamine. You become conditioned to that rewarding mood boost. As such, you keep doing things that’ll get you that reward the fastest.
You feel the need to be visibly productive all the time, and small tasks let you feel more productive. Even if it’s not really productive, the feeling of business can trick you into believing that it is.
Big tasks and steps are much more overwhelming and can seem daunting. It can feel safer to stick to the smaller things, even if the big things aren’t that hard.

Why Failing to Set Goals Doesn’t Work.

Why? Think about trying to pack a suitcase. If you fill it with tiny little things, you won’t have space to put bulky items. The same happens with steps towards goals. If you burn yourself out on small tasks, you won’t have the energy for the more important ones!

Prioritization gives you the chance to tackle big and necessary things over small ones. It also allows you to balance them. You’ll fill your metaphorical suitcase with the first few big items. Then, you’ll fill in the gaps between them with small items. You’ll take a break and then repeat the process for the next layer of “packing”. This is a positive way to get things done and is more likely to be a success for your goals!

Doing the hardest step first ensures ease when you’re turning your attention to simpler steps. You’re able to willfully assign challenging tasks to yourself for the sake of getting them over with. It can sound like a drag, but it’s a good way to get real about the effort needed for your goals.

Very few goals in life are going to come easy. There’s a lot of work that needs to be put into bringing them to fruition. A fair amount of that work will be things that are tricky and even overwhelming. It’s easy to simply never do those things, practicing avoidance and ending up with unfulfilled goals.

Learning to prioritize breaks this cycle and replaces it with positive thinking. You’re willing to work through the hard stuff in order to get to better days. This combination of motivation and commitment will be a great help to your performance, according to studies.

5. Setting Priorities Prevents Distractions

Distractions are a huge goal-killer. If your mind and eye wander and leave your attention somewhere else, your goals remain stagnant. After all, goals require constant work, and you need to do things every day that move you in the right direction. You can’t do that if your focus simply isn’t there.

Priorities allow you to skip past distractions and keep your concentration on the things that truly matter. Things that can be classified as “distractions” get put low on the list of priorities. You’ll be used to doing important and urgent things first, leaving the rest for a future time. This doesn’t mean you’ll never do them – just that they’ll come after what matters most.

Some distractions also make good rewards. For example, going to watch a movie isn’t a priority and shouldn’t come before the more important things in your day. But it does serve as a good reward. Once you finished up the priorities you have on your list, you’re free to enjoy that film at your leisure!

This can create a very rewarding and positive system for working on your goals. You get to give yourself pats on the back for each short-term accomplishment. Those well-earned self-congratulations are important for maintaining intrinsic motivation and can encourage you to keep going!

6. Setting Priorities Gets You Used To Baby Steps

When you’re used to prioritizing, you’re also used to taking action in positive ways. You don’t let ideas and thoughts lie dormant. You act on them and come up with plans to get them done. That’s also part of what healthy and productive goal-setting and work are all about! Forward momentum is always needed. But how much is necessary?

That’s an aspect that goal-setters often overlook: it’s okay to take things slow. We’ve talked about the need to work step by step and to do the big things first, true! But there doesn’t have to be a rush to do them all in one go, especially if you’re trying something unfamiliar. Prioritizers know how to set priorities based on how much time it will take to complete something, too!

Being kind to yourself and using positive thinking to help you work through challenges is crucial to long-term success. No one wants to burn out right away. Set high standards for yourself, but be reasonable. You’ll face challenges and hurdles throughout your journey, but it’s not a race! All you have to do is not stop moving and trying, even if the steps you take are small. As long as you keep yourself going, you’re heading for your goals!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways Setting Priorities Can Help Us Achieve Goals

Priorities are useful ways to keep your tasks in line, but they’re also really great for managing goals! If you can harness their power well, you’ll be able to determine exactly what must be done for your success.

Find Emotional Closure After a Breakup With These 9 Habits

June 1, 2022 by Chris Butler

Once you experience something traumatic in life, like a breakup, you need emotional closure. This healing is significant because it can cause issues now and in the future. If your relationship ends badly, you won’t be able to move on from it unless you heal.

Unresolved matters with an ex will haunt every relationship that comes after it. If the emotional pangs you feel aren’t enough, you may experience flashbacks that will only worsen matters. Your emotions can break your spirit, and you may be inclined to try to do something to get revenge.

It would help if you reminded yourself that revenge isn’t going to do anything but get you into trouble.

When the Past Interrupts the Future

Your past certainly plays a significant part in your future. Amanda met Fred when she was 16 years old. He was the love of her life. However, Fred became tired of the relationship and wanted more once they married and had two children.

Amanda woke up one morning to find Fred gone, and all she got was a note. She never saw or heard from him again. He never had anything to do with his children, and it was as if he had disappeared into thin air.

She never got the emotional closure she needed on the situation, and the fact that she spent more than 15 years of her life with this man only made matters worse. She felt like she couldn’t move on because she didn’t know what happened. Amanda wasted years of her life wishing he would come back, and she couldn’t move on because she was left in limbo.

Fred meant the world to Amanda, and she didn’t know how to live without him, but she had no choice. She needed that final word from him that he was never coming back, but she never got the respect of a phone call or any communication.

Nine Habits To Help You With Emotional Closure

Your mind is reeling after a breakup that cuts you like a knife. However, there are some ways to gather your thoughts and emotions and pull yourself back together. Here are some tips and habits you should develop to help you on your journey towards emotional health.

1. Get Rid of Any Memorabilia

If you’ve been together for any length of time, you have all sorts of things that you’ve bought for one another. There are pictures of you two together, as well as articles of clothing and other items that are linked to this individual. However, you can’t move on if you’re still holding on to the past.

It’s time to either have a big bonfire or throw them in the trash. If it’s stuff that someone else can use, you might want to donate them to a charity or your local thrift store. Keeping just one thing in your possession means you’re holding on in some manner, and it can inhibit the emotional closure you need.

2. Cut Off All Contact to Gain Immediate Emotional Closure

Cutting off all contact means you delete them from social media pages, erase their number from your smartphone, and have nothing to do with them. Don’t let your moments of weakness cloud your judgment and text one of their friends or family members.

It would help if you let go completely, and this means having no contact at all. Erase all the text messages, too, so you don’t torture yourself with reliving both good and bad times. If anyone comes graveling back, it should be them, and then you can show them the door.

3. Write A Dear John Letter

Sometimes you have things to say, and you didn’t get the opportunity to do so. In this instance, you need to write a letter to them expressing yourself. Now, it’s up to you whether you mail this letter, as some people just prefer to burn it.

Dear John, letters date clear back to 1862. According to Poem Analysis, Victorian poet Christina Rossetti wrote a poem about leaving her lover, John, and moving on with another man. Poetry and letter-writing became extremely popular during times of war.

Women would often write their servicemen to let them know they’ve moved on with another guy while they were gone. Today, the phrase is commonly used for anyone who wants to break up without doing it in person. You have a right to get your feelings out in the open, so a Dear John letter is best.

4. Set Firm Boundaries

Some people break up and make up many times throughout their relationship. However, that one time always tends to be the final straw. It would help if you had emotional closure from these situations too, and the only way you can do this is to set firm boundaries.

Let them know that you don’t want them to call you anymore and don’t want them coming around your home either. Tell them how you’ll handle this breakup, as you need to do this for your sanity. You can’t carry on as if nothing happened.

In some instances, you will rub shoulders with your ex due to work, place of worship, or other social situations. However, you have the right to set firm boundaries that will allow you to heel.

5. Don’t Turn Around and Look in the Past

How can you look forward to the future if you’re constantly living in the past? You must remember the good times, but let go of all the failure and things that brought you pain. The good news is that your past is not a life sentence, and you no longer have to live there.

You will undoubtedly have moments when you relive things but can’t ruminate about them. Although you can’t bring back yesterday, you can change tomorrow. So, stop thinking about all the failures and what might have been, and look for a brighter future.

6. Forgiveness Fosters Emotional Closure

There is no perfect relationship, and every story has two sides. It would be best if you forgave your ex so that you get rid of any excess baggage from them. The worst thing you can do is carry baggage from one relationship to another, as it’s unfair to the next person.

Additionally, it would help if you also forgive yourself. As they say, hindsight is 20/20, and you’ll probably beat yourself up over the “what ifs.” To get proper emotional closure over this situation, you need to forgive them for what they did to you and forgive yourself for any part you had in the breakup.

7. Get Your Emotions Out Through Talk Therapy

If the breakup was tough, you might need to talk to someone about it. You may be tied to this person for all of eternity if you have children. Breaking up is hard to do, but you can use therapy to get through it.

According to Good Therapy, a counselor may be a vital part of the healing process. They can help you to address issues with low self-esteem, posttraumatic stress, and depression. They can give you little tasks to help you with emotional closure and become a better you.

8. Use Art For Emotional Closure

Art is a powerful way to express your emotions safely. Did you know that the famous painter Vincent van Gogh used his paintings to deal with his mental illness? According to the American Journal of Psychiatry, van Gogh had psychotic episodes, an eccentric personality, and unstable moods.

He devoted a decade of his life to painting, and it was his therapy. No matter what upset you’re going through, you can learn to express yourself through art forms like painting. Perhaps your thing is dancing, or running, or playing a musical instrument. Whatever your fancy, you should pour yourself into that thing to help eliminate the negativity from a devastating blow.

9. Take Care Of Yourself

One thing that many people do after a breakup is sinking into a depression. You must take care of yourself during this time and get the emotional closure you need. Your hygiene is essential, and you must keep up with your home too.

Self-care is so important at any time, but it’s imperative after a breakup. If you feel like your physical or mental health is getting away from you, then care enough to talk to someone and get help.

Final Thoughts on Emotional Closure After a Breakup

Your emotions are as unpredictable as the weather. When you experience a major life change like a breakup, you may feel as if you can’t go on. However, the truth is that you can go on, and you will find love again.

The key is to allow yourself to work through the grieving process as you heal. Even if you parted on good terms, it could be a significant shock to your system for such a loss. Your emotional health is vital; you need proper closure to move on and have a promising future.

15 Ways to Remember to Speak Kindly, Even When You Feel Annoyed

May 31, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Have you ever forced yourself to smile and be nice to a difficult person? Let’s face it, some people know how to press your buttons, and you may feel like giving them a proper tongue lashing. However, there are ways you can diffuse your irritation in an awkward situation and speak kindly.

Fifteen Ways to Speak Kindly

Being a compassionate person can be a tough job. However, avoiding confrontations makes it better for everyone. Here are fifteen ways you can speak kindly in difficult situations.

1. Offer a Sincere Compliment

This may be an all too familiar scenario for you. While you enjoy holidays and special occasions at the office, you may dread bumping into that certain coworker. You know, as soon as you get a glass of punch, they’ll appear out of nowhere and change the mood in the room.

It’s a little easier to be kind to some who’s irritating you when you’re in a crowd than when it’s only the two of you. One way to lower your steam is to find something good about that person and say so. When you pay a compliment that’s genuine, it often throws the office party pooper off guard, and you can walk away with your dignity.

2. A Smile on Your Face Makes It Easier to Speak Kindly

Remember the old song that tells you to smile through your heartbreaks, and you’ll get by? Being in the crosshairs of a difficult conversation may not be heartbreaking, but it can wrack your nerves. However, the iconic tune has a good point to help you speak kindly.

An article published in Forbes by Dr. Bryan Robinson states scientific evidence linking smiling and your mood. Even when you must fake a grin, Robinson says that it may trick your brain into producing endorphins and a pleasant disposition. You’re also less prone to give a regretful response if you show those pearly whites as you talk.

However, be careful of smiling when the other person gets heated. They may perceive it as mocking, and they may get angrier. Reserve your smile for when the conversation is civil.

3. Don’t Buy Into Their Negativity

Your attitude can affect your atmosphere, be it positive or negative. According to the law of attraction, you attract whatever you put out into the Universe. If you decide to smile, be positive, and speak kindly, and you’ll attract more of the same.

You needn’t be smothered by comments from negativity. Refuse to be influenced by a negative attitude and try to take the high road. Although it may not change the person’s disposition, you can reap the benefits of positivity.

4. Is an Apology Due?

It’s human nature to make mistakes or inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings. If the situation hasn’t been rectified as soon as possible, it makes for contentious moments. Perhaps the other person isn’t so gracious because you’ve offended them.

When you’ve hurt someone even unknowingly, be quick to apologize sincerely. Realize that genuine apology includes amends and the determination not to repeat the offense. After that, forgiveness is up to them.

Maybe the other person offended you and has yet to apologize. You may have stewed over their trespass until it’s festered into bitterness. Most people may not be able to speak kindly when they’re angry with another person.

5. Speak Kindly When You Offer Forgiveness

While apology and forgiveness are closely linked in human relationships, they have their differences. When you hurt or offend another, you owe them an apology. It’s like having a utility bill that says what’s due.

However, you can’t owe somebody forgiveness. If you decide to forgive a person’s offense, it’s a gift from your heart. Plus, forgiveness sets your mind and spirit free from bitterness so you can go on with your life.

Just because you offer forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re letting the offender off the hook. It also doesn’t erase the hurt from your memory. Forgiveness clears the way to get past the offense, and you both can speak kindly when you meet.

6. Consider The Other Person’s Life

You’ll never be at a loss for grumpy people in your personal and professional life. Whether it’s a staff meeting or a dreaded family reunion, a problematic personality will be present. If it’s inevitable that you must interact with them even for a bit, considering their past may help you speak kindly to them.

Most children don’t make a personal goal to mature into a miserable, hateful adults. Negative personalities are often products of past environments, circumstances, and mental health issues. According to an article written by the Association for Psychological Science, some people may naturally focus on negativity.

While it doesn’t excuse rude behaviors, it might explain why your surly coworker or cantankerous uncle is so tricky. You may not realize the trauma someone’s endured or other situations that have turned their lives bleak. By not taking it personally and learning to speak kindly, you don’t add to their frustrations.

7. Remember That First Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate

Let’s say you were just hired at a company, and you introduce yourself to a new coworker. Ideally, they would smile, shake your hand, and welcome you aboard. But what if they didn’t smile and were short with you?

It would be understandable for you to feel a bit stunned, rejected, and mad at this person. You could assume that they immediately didn’t like you, and you’re not going to like them. However, this unfortunate first impression may not be an accurate portrait of your colleague.

At least give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had been verbally shredded by a client on the phone right before you introduced yourself. Or your new coworker might be crushed with stress from a pressing deadline.

Before you decide this person is a bad apple, see what happens next. The chances are that they will stop you later and apologize for being short. By showing consideration and being kind, you may discover that they’re a friendly person after all.

8. It’s Easier to Speak Kindly if you Pause First

When the conversation with a problematic person goes south, it’s easy to let your mouth be quicker than your brain. You may end up saying something you’ll live to regret, so practice mindful pausing before you speak. Listen to the other person and take a moment to think about how to answer.

9. Try to Stay Calm

Talking to someone who gets on your nerves may immediately send your temper into orbit. One way to keep a civil tongue is to stay calm and manage your emotions. If need be, count to ten silently, and don’t allow their emotion to dictate yours.

10. Have a Practice Session

You’re going to your high school reunion, and you know your long-time rival will be attending. Even though it’s been years since you were in school, those old emotions of anger and jealousy find their way to the surface. You’ll need to smile and be civil if you don’t want the evening ruined.

This is one of many examples where preparation can make all the difference. Decide what you’ll say in different scenarios. Practice smiling and being genuinely cordial while you work on leaving past differences behind you.

11. Have a Little Help from Your Friend

Sometimes, you may anticipate a strained situation with another person. You already know you can’t cope with them and don’t want things to escalate. Plan with a trusted friend to create a polite escape route.

When cornered by this boring individual, your friend can call your cell phone or pop into the conversation. You have your chance to get away, and the toxic person will find somebody else to annoy. It’s a clever way to keep the peace.

12. Sharing Points of View

Deep down, many obnoxious people feel helpless and lonely and want someone to listen to them. Maybe the seemingly grouchy lady next door would like to be your friend but doesn’t have good communication skills. By actively listening to what they have to say, you may determine their underlying motives.

It’s also essential for you to clearly state your viewpoints, so there are no misunderstandings. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding that came between you in the first place. If they can’t be respectful, then you may have to keep your distance.

13. Use Positive Body Language

Your body speaks just as much as your mouth does. If your words and body language aren’t congruent, people may view your conversation as insincere. It’s imperative when you’re conversing with a problematic person.

Stand or sit in a neutral and relaxed position and avoid crossing your arms. When your body language is calm and open, it makes for a more peaceful atmosphere. You can talk to each other in respectable tones.

14. Set Boundaries

Just because you’ve determined to talk kindly to someone doesn’t mean you’ll be a doormat. Let the difficult person know that you’re willing to have a civil conversation without yelling or verbal abuse. If they can’t respect that, then you’ve nothing more to say.

15. Know When to Walk Away

It’s a sad fact of life that they are some people who will never change their negative or hostile attitudes. If you’ve tried your best to be kind and it doesn’t work, then walk away. You needn’t be part of their darkened view of the world.

Final Thoughts on Remember to Speak Kindly, Even to Annoying People

It’s a given that personalities will clash, and people can have infuriating encounters. Being kind may give them a change of heart or de-escalate the situation. If not, you’ve done all you can do and can avoid them as much as possible.

USC Research Links Breathing Clean Air to a Healthy Brain

May 31, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A study by USC researchers found a strong association between clean air and a healthy brain. They also discovered that areas with high air pollution had more Alzheimer’s disease and cognitive decline residents.

USC studies have determined that one pollutant in particular called PM2.5 leads to poor brain health. Cars and factories emit this fine particulate which measures less than 2.5 micrometers in diameter. Once they enter the nose, the particles move into the brain past the blood-brain barrier. Usually, this barrier protects against dust and other foreign substances.

However, due to the minuscule size of PM2.5 particles, they quickly break this barrier. These particles can also exacerbate lung disorders, penetrating deeply into the lungs and impairing lung health.

Fortunately, the USC-led research shows that improvements in air quality have lowered Alzheimer’s risk in certain areas. They published their findings in Alzheimer’s & Dementia: The Journal of the Alzheimer’s Association.

In their research, the USC team explained that their labs reported recent drops in the neurotoxicity of PM2.5 air pollution in both humans and mice. Neurotoxicity occurs when exposure to natural or artificial chemicals causes abnormal activity in the brain or nervous system. This means that more people have a healthy brain because of improved air quality.

University Professor Caleb Finch and associate professor of gerontology and sociology Jennifer Ailshire took part in the research. They’re both with the USC Leonard Davis School of Gerontology. They focused their investigation on PM2.5 pollution in particular to document its effects on brain health. Long-term exposure to PM2.5 can lead to early death, especially in people with chronic heart or lung disease.

USC Research Links Breathing Clean Air to a Healthy Brain

A 2004 study from Ailshire found a strong link between cognitive decline and air pollution in less-educated populations. Adults 65 and older with less than eight years of education had a higher risk of neurodegenerative disease when exposed to PM2.5. However, ten years later, Ailshire no longer found this association in the study participants. She based these findings on data from the nationwide Health and Retirement Study.

Ailshire believes that reduced PM2.5 emissions during the past decade increased their likelihood of having a healthy brain. Air quality data revealed that average annual PM2.5 levels in the participants’ cities dropped 25% since 2004.

In 2014, only a handful of the participants lived in areas with annual average PM2.5 levels that surpassed EPA regulations. This provides further evidence that reduced exposure to air pollution in older adults leads to a healthy brain.

“Improving air quality around the country has been a tremendous public health and environment policy success story. But there are signs of a reversal in these trends,” Ailshire said. “Pollution levels are creeping up again, and there are increasingly more large fires, which generate a significant amount of air pollution in certain parts of the country. This gives me cause for concern about future trends in improving air quality.”

Finch also published research on mice earlier this year in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease. The findings provide further proof that lower air pollution leads to a healthier brain in the long term.

Finch and his team have been observing how pollution affects the brains of mice at a Los Angeles site since 2009. In 2017, the mice exposed to a tiny, nanoscale type of PM2.5 seemed to have a healthier brain. What’s more, they also had significant declines in several measures of neurotoxicity, including oxidative damage to cells and tissues.

Study Shows Importance of Continued Improvements in Air Quality

During Finch’s and Ailshire’s studies, the composition of air pollution in the United States began to change. According to the EPA, from 2000 to 2020, PM2.5 levels decreased across the country by 41%.

However, PM2.5 in Los Angeles declined very little from 2009 to 2019. In this period, ozone levels in the United States decreased overall. However, it increased in Los Angeles County. Before 2015, ozone dropped in LA County following the national trend.

Overall, the study results are encouraging, showing that lower air pollution leads to a healthy brain and better memory. However, the authors stress that they can’t evaluate the possible benefits of air quality improvement to risks of cognitive decline. While PM2.5 levels fell across the US from 2009 to 2016, they’ve increased each year since 2017. This shows that air quality can fluctuate based on regulations and emission levels, like Los Angeles County.

“Our findings underscore the importance of efforts to improve air quality as well as the continued importance of demographic and experimental evaluation of air pollution neurotoxicity,” Finch said.

Finch and Jiu-Chiuan “J.C.” Chen, an associate professor of preventive medicine at the Keck School of Medicine of USC, collaborated on a separate study. Based on human and animal data, the research found that cognitive aging accelerated with high air pollution. This may increase the risk of dementia and other neurodegenerative diseases. Their study indicated that older women living in places with high PM2.5 levels suffered memory loss and brain shrinkage. They didn’t observe this in women who lived in areas with cleaner air.

Other Ways to Reduce Alzheimer’s Risk

Advances in neuroscience have led to improved treatments for people with dementia and Alzheimer’s. To reduce your risk of developing the disease, make sure to eat a healthy diet and get regular exercise. Also, maintain positive social connections and intellectual activities, like puzzles or games. This advice comes from the Alzheimer’s Association.

Final thoughts: Clean Air Helps Reduce Alzheimer’s and Promotes a Healthy Brain

Worries about pollution continue to grow across the world, and not just because of climate change. Many studies have linked air pollution to early deaths, lung disorders, mental health problems, and cognitive decline. The above study found that adults who lived in areas with low air pollution experienced better brain health. This should come as a no-brainer (no pun intended). Hopefully, governments and industries worldwide will strive to lower pollution so everyone can breathe clean air and have a healthy brain.

12 Effective Tips to Increase Self-Confidence Immediately

May 31, 2022 by Chris Butler

A low level of self-confidence is very detrimental to your overall well-being. When you lack the confidence you need in life, you’re cautious about taking risks, and you end up in situations that aren’t the best for you. For instance, you settle for someone toxic because you feel you can’t get anyone better. It’s time for you to find new ways to increase self-confidence!

Few realize the dangers of low self-confidence, and it can sabotage your life in ways you never dreamed possible. However, if you’re too confident, then you may take risks that are foolish too. Someone who has an inflated sense of self-worth can be considered haughty, arrogant, or selfish.

Twelve Actionable Ways To Increase Self-Confidence

It’s essential to have a healthy view of yourself and your abilities. It can help you develop meaningful relationships and power you to get through the most brutal storms in life.

So, what can you do to increase your self-confidence immediately, especially if it’s on the lower side? Courtney E. Ackerman, MA, is an author and writer for Positive Psychology. She expounded on a theory that your confidence levels help be relatable, have competence, and independence.

She suggests that you should go through cognitive restructuring through CBT therapy if you suffer from low self-worth. While therapy is a great tool, here are some tips on how to improve how you look at yourself immediately.

1. Exercise Regularly

You know exercise can do beautiful things for your body, but did you know that it can increase your self-confidence too? Your bodily image is heavily linked with your opinion of yourself. When you’re burning fat and losing weight, you feel great.

Additionally, when you’re exercising, you’re increasing the feel-good chemicals in your brain. When your brain’s chemicals are balanced, you have a better mood, lower levels of depression, and a better outlook on life.

2. Make Yourself Presentable to the World

Your personal hygiene is of the utmost importance. It’s essential to take a shower, wash your hair, shave, clip your fingernails, and do anything else that makes you presentable. It’s such a small action, but it has a big impact.

You know what it’s like to be behind someone in line at the grocery store who hasn’t showered. What are the first thoughts that run through your mind? Do you want people thinking those things about you?

How can you be confident in life if you don’t care enough about yourself to care for your appearance? If you always look like you rolled out of bed, then you’re not going to be on your “A” game or have stellar productivity. Remember that your outside appearance reflects your inner self.

Plus, did you know that poor hygiene is a sign that someone has hit rock bottom or is depressed?

3. Put Aside Jealousy

Are you appreciative of yourself, or do you spend your time being jealous of others for their talents and gifts? Maybe you wish you had a better personality, drove a nicer car, or made more money. However, none of those things matter in the grand scheme of things.

Every person on this planet has admirable gifts inside them. It would help if you focused on these things rather than looking over the fence into the lives of others. Be thankful for what you have if you want more in life.

4. Practice Gratitude Daily

Do you know what most high-achieving people have in common? No, it’s not lots of money or good luck. However, they have learned how to develop an attitude of gratitude.

By focusing on the blessings in your life, you make the bad stuff seem insignificant. A gratitude journal is a great place to start charting all your gifts, and it’s a great reminder of why you should be thankful rather than oppressed.

5. Dress With Care

The way you dress is closely related to hygiene, as your clothes improve how you feel. There’s nothing better than wearing something new that gives you a boost of confidence. No wonder the mantra “Dress for success” is so famous.

You don’t have to spend a fortune on an outfit to look good. You can get something at the thrift store that showcases your figure and makes you look like a million bucks. However, how you dress signals to those around you whether you care enough to take care of yourself.

Jerry Seinfeld made an astounding comment that said that people who live in sweatpants all the time are those who have given up on life. Perhaps, there is some truth to his theory.

6. Focus On Your Gifts, Strengths, and Talents

Do you focus on your strengths or your weaknesses? Most people tend to focus on everything they find wrong with themselves rather than the right things. Ask yourself the following questions:

What have I accomplished in life?
What things can I do well?
Are there unique talents that make me special?
Are there special abilities that others have praised about me?

If you want to boost your self-confidence immediately, make a list of all the things that you’ve accomplished. It’s okay to pat yourself on the back occasionally.

7. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

One way to bruise your confidence is by constantly comparing yourself to someone else. It doesn’t matter what the crux of the matter, the result is being miserable. Social media tends to have made this issue much worse, as people only post their best moments.

You’re uniquely you, and there will never be another person like you. Whenever you feel yourself starting to get down and compare your life with someone else’s, remind yourself of all your blessings. You never know how good or bad someone’s life is until you walk in their shoes.

8. Maintaining a Positive Outlook on Life

When a negative thought pops into your mind, what do you do with it? Does it instantly change your mood and make you start thinking about all the bad stuff, or do you counter it with something positive? For instance, if you had a horrible first marriage that ended in divorce, you might feel some guilt for it.

However, when those thoughts of failure come knocking at your door, remind them that you have beautiful children that came from that union. Remember that every dark cloud has a silver lining, and it’s up to you to remind yourself of that bright spot.

9. Shape Your Self-Image

If you want to increase your self-confidence, then you need to adjust the way you see yourself. When you have a positive self-image, your confidence will automatically boost. The good news is even if you have a poor self-image, you can change it.

You can foster a good self-image by looking at accomplishments, practicing gratitude, and falling in love with yourself. How you see yourself is a big indication of how confident you will be in life.

10. Be Kind and Generous

You’re probably wondering how being kind and generous can increase your self-confidence, but it can do wonders. In the ancient writings of the Bible, Acts 2:35, it states that “It’s better to give than to receive?” When you’re doing things for others and giving back, it makes you feel better about yourself.

There’s a feeling of pride that comes from being a good person. Now you shouldn’t go out of your way to do things for others to improve your self-confidence, but it’s just an added blessing that comes from giving back.

11. Set Small, Achievable Goals

One great way to increase self-confidence is to set small obtainable goals. Rather than looking at the big picture and becoming overwhelmed, why not set small goals that you can knock out with ease? There’s a sense of pride that comes from each milestone you reach.

Assume you decided you want to get in shape and be a marathon runner. You don’t start by signing up for a 5k before you’ve lost a pound or done any training? Instead, you set smaller goals that help you to reach the larger ones.

With each mile you run, you will feel a sense of pride flood you inside that helps you keep going. It’s these little accomplishments that build your self-confidence enough to tackle the bigger things. It’s all about incremental progress, and it’s a potent tool to have in your arsenal.

12. Develop a Network of Friends and Colleagues

Your support system is everything. There are always people in your world that are critical and love to tear apart one another. However, you need people who help boost you when you’re having a bad day or doubting yourself.

This network of friends and family can help you when your day seems dark. They can help you to increase self-confidence by knowing just what to say. According to the experts at Reco, drug and alcohol treatment is more effective when you have a strong support system.

Those who have mentors are more likely to obtain sobriety than those that don’t have anyone. Their saying is healthy people, healthy outlook. So, you can use this to apply to your life. When you hang with people who have good self-esteem, they can help lift you and increase yours.

Final Thoughts on Ways To Increase Self-Confidence

Your self-confidence is essential. It helps you to be successful, have good relationships, and live a happy life. The good news is that even if you lack the confidence you need, it’s not set in stone.

You can take positive steps to boost your esteem and have a better overall view of yourself. Though it might not happen overnight, you can increase self-confidence by trying some of these tips listed above.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!