Page 249

8 Pros and 7 Cons of Being an Overachiever

May 31, 2022 by Chris Butler

There’s no actual definition of what it means to be an overachiever. Most people don’t think achievement is a problem. But overachieving can get sticky.

The problem is how an overachiever goes after or works to maintain a certain level of achievement. Overachieving can be either a problem or an inspiration, depending upon how you look at it. Whether you see overachieving as a problem or an inspiration, there are positives and negatives. Here are some pros and cons of being an overachiever.

Pros of being an overachiever

Being an overachiever has many positive aspects. Here is a list of some of them.

1 – An overachiever know how to get the job done

If you want something done, ask an overachiever to do it. They know what you want and what each step should look like to accomplish it. Not only do they accomplish what they set out to do, but they often get it done faster than others. This is because they’re already thinking about the next thing they want to do. Overachievers wholeheartedly embrace Tennyson’s thinking when he said, So many worlds, so much to do, so little done, such things to be.

2 – Focused on getting things done

Overachievers focus on what needs to get done, and they don’t get thrown off course by unexpected things. They get back on track and keep going. They also don’t fall into wasting time or doing mindless activities. An overachiever is a good time manager. Here are some things they might use to stay focused and not waste time.

Set goals
Keep a schedule
Establish priorities for the day, week, month, etc.
Keep track of time
Do the hard stuff first
Notetakers
Keep themselves accountable
Let technology work for them
Don’t get caught up in social media

3 – Ask others for help

Even though they get accused of overworking, overachievers know when they need help, an overachiever isn’t afraid to acknowledge they don’t know it all. They seek expertise from the right people. You’ve probably noticed how well-known overachievers surround themselves with a skilled team of people. This allows the overachiever to focus on what they’re supposed to do and lightens the load for everyone.

4 – Stay fit

Another positive thing that overachievers do is to stay fit. They’re often the people who get up first thing in the morning to exercise. They say exercising increases their energy level and gives them a clearer mind. One example of someone like this is Richard Branson, founder of over 400 companies. He’s a self-proclaimed overachiever who insists that exercise is critical to his day. It’s no secret that movement has many health benefits. Overachievers embrace training because they know it gives them the stamina and energy they need to accomplish their goals. Some benefits of exercise include:

Help you control your weight.
Lowers your risk of heart disease
Help you manage your blood sugar
Can help you quit smoking
Improves your memory and mood
It helps you think better, improves your judgment and ability to learn

5 – A boss often leans on an overachiever

It’s no secret. If you’re an overachiever, your boss will probably pick you to do a job they want doing well and right away. Good chance you’ve earned their trust and know they can depend upon you. Those who say overachieving is negative frown upon being singled out. You may enjoy the limelight and like the challenge of being asked to do something special. It depends upon your perspective.

6 – Always busy

Overachievers love to stay busy. They start their day in the early morning hours and work late into the night. These folks get more done in 24 hours than most people do. They have a full schedule, and that’s the way they like it. Part of the thrill of their job is the traveling, scheduling, and planning it requires. Overachievers like challenges, so it only makes sense they enjoy the challenge of fitting everything into their day.

7 – Planner

Part of the reason overachievers are so successful is their ability to plan well. They make plans for work, home, exercise, and everything else. Of course, they plan meetings and other business-related things, but they also plan free-time and social activities. Their schedule is complete, but it’s well planned out, so they aren’t wasting time. Their personal goals are also planned out. Overachievers think ahead by days, months, and years. They often have a 5- year plan for their business and personal goals. With planning, overachievers are specific. They use things like:

Goal setting in every area of their life
Outlining their goals
Asking questions about plans for the future
Steps they want to take to reach their goals

8 – Play as hard as they work

It’s true; overachievers have a reputation for being hard workers. An overachiever is different from a workaholic because they always have an end goal. Once they have achieved it, they are ready to relax and play. They love exhilarating activities on vacations like

Skiing
Hiking
Hang gliding
Standup paddleboarding
Kayaking
Rafting
Surfing

Overachievers love the rush of playing as hard as they work.

Cons of being an overachiever

So, there can be cons to being an overachiever. Here are some common problems an overachiever could face

1 – An overachiever might miss out on today

Overachieving can cause you to focus so much on future goals that you lose sight of today. It’s essential to live in the present, even if you have plans and goals. Enjoy what is in front of you today because it may not be there. Keep a balance of focusing on the end game but having a clear view of the present.

2 – Overachievers tend to work too much

Overachievers are known for being workaholics. This moniker may be an unfair characterization of them, but some individuals fit this description. They may be the first person to arrive at the office and the last to leave the office in the evening. What started as just working long hours for a specific period may have turned into a regular habit of working long hours and pulling all-nighters to finish a project. A workaholic overachiever never takes vacations because they’re too busy.

3 – Can’t say no

Overachieving means you take on extra work at the expense of your personal life. You get yourself involved in every detail of a project. It’s hard for an overachiever to say no because they love a challenge. The fantastic thing is that they usually have an enormous capacity. It’s not until they have problems with their health or at home that they limit themselves.

4 – Unhealthy habits

Overachievers push themselves beyond the limit. They work long hours, pull all-nighters, and rarely take a break. This is dangerous to their health and can lead to risky behaviors such as

Not eating, so they lose a lot of weight
Drinking too much alcohol
Drug taking for energy and clear their mind
doing unethical things to cut corners to finish a job

5 – Anxiety

High demands, long hours, and pressure to finish a job can lead to anxiety and stress. Being on edge because of stress can lead to being easily frustrated with your family or co-workers. There isn’t a work anxiety disorder, but specific symptoms point to anxiety from being overworked. These include:

Worry
Insomnia
Feeling edgy and nervous
Fatigue
Shaking or trembling
Lump in your throat
Racing heart
Dry mouth
Sweating

6 – Refuse to delegate

Many overachievers ask for help when they need it, but some refuse to delegate. Because they’re perfectionists, they assume no one can do as good of a job as they can. Thus, if an overachiever doesn’t delegate, they end up a workaholic, stretched to the limit.

7 – Family life and social life suffer

One of the biggest cons of being an overachiever is that their family and social life suffer. They miss out on family time with their kids, spouse, and extended family. They’re too busy to take their child to a swim class or dinner with their spouse. Their friends give up asking them to do things since they always say no.

Why are some people overachievers?

Why are some people are high achievers and others aren’t? You often see these differences in people at school. Researchers say that the differences between low achievers and low achieving students are related more to personal factors than intelligence. They suggest that the most significant factors are self-regulation, learning strategies, and study techniques. Also, students’ attitudes about school and the teachers affect their achievement levels.

Final thoughts on knowing the pros and cons of the overachiever

Interestingly, there is little scientific research on overachieving and whether it’s negative or positive. Being an overachiever isn’t a bad thing. If someone calls you, it could mean they think you’re innovative and successful. But if overachieving means you’re overworking and stressed out, then it probably is a bad thing for you. It could be time for you to reevaluate your life and how you approach your work.

New Superconducting Magnet Could Make Fusion Energy by 2025

May 31, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Scientists from MIT and researchers from Commonwealth Fusion Systems (CFS) recently designed the world’s most powerful superconducting magnet. They achieved scientific history, ramping the large, high-temperature electromagnet to 20 Tesla. This is the highest field strength ever recorded for a high-temperature fusion magnet.

Researchers at the company say that they should have a small prototype fusion power plant built by 2025. They still face many technological hurdles, but it will mark a massive step toward a carbon-free future if they’re successful.

The superconducting magnet measures two meters long by 1-meter-wide. It’s a D-shaped electromagnet with a magnetic field about 500,000 times stronger than Earth’s. Compared with similarly sized superconducting magnets, this one is twice as strong. They didn’t know whether they could create such a magnet three years ago, but it’s now a reality.

The successful demonstration quells uncertainties about building a fusion power plant that can create more power than it uses. The achievement could lead to the creation of many carbon-free power plants that can help combat climate change.

Maria Zuber, MIT’s vice president for research and E. A. Griswold, Professor of Geophysics, regard fusion as the “ultimate clean energy source.” The power for fusion comes from water, one of the planet’s most abundant resources. Once they figure out how to utilize it, fusion energy could change the trajectory of our world.

Creating the superconducting magnet was their most significant obstacle in achieving fusion. Now that they’ve perfected the magnet technology, the MIT-CFS collaboration plans on completing the world’s first successful fusion device by 2025. Known as SPARC, the device will create and confine plasma within the powerful magnetic fields. As the plasma heats up to around a staggering 100,000,000 degrees, it releases vast amounts of energy.

New Superconducting Magnet Could Make Fusion Energy a Reality by 2025

“The challenges of making fusion happen are both technical and scientific,” says Dennis Whyte, director of MIT’s Plasma Science and Fusion Center, which is working with CFS to develop SPARC. But once the technology is proven, he says, “it’s an inexhaustible, carbon-free source of energy that you can deploy anywhere and at any time. It’s really a fundamentally new energy source.”

Fusion technology essentially replicates the power of the sun in a small chamber. The process involves capturing and suspending plasma inside a device lined with powerful magnetic coils. Known as a tokamak, the donut-shaped chamber houses the swirling mass of protons and electrons or plasma. Since the particles have an electric charge, they’re controlled by the magnetic fields which confine the plasma within the chamber.

Most tokamaks have been constructed using electromagnets made of copper. However, the largest tokamak under construction in France, called ITER, utilizes low-temperature superconductors. Scientists aim to surpass breakeven in the chamber that measures 11 meters tall and 19 meters wide.

A significant breakthrough in the MIT-CFS fusion design involves the use of high-temperature superconductors. These allow for a more powerful magnetic field in a much smaller area, making them cheaper and easier to build. CFS researchers created the magnets using the latest superconducting material of winding coils composed of barium copper oxides.

Until now, scientists thought that only large magnets could withstand the pressure of plasma heated up to hundreds of millions of degrees. The new high-temperature superconductor made history, equaling the performance of a device 40 times larger using the traditional low-temperature magnets.

A series of scientific papers published last year found that if the magnets worked as anticipated, it would mark fusion history. After years of fusion research, the technology would produce an unprecedented net power output.

Fusion technology continues to advance at a rapid pace.

In the recent test, the powerful superconducting magnet produced a field of 20 Tesla for nearly 5 hours. However, CFS researchers say that they could have theoretically maintained the field indefinitely. The magnet includes 16 plates stacked together to create a superconducting magnet. To put its strength in perspective, just one of these magnets alone would be the world’s most potent.

Now that they’ve developed the magnet, the team will work toward the next step of creating the prototype reactor SPARC. For this small fusion reactor, they will use 18 coils to surround the vacuum chamber.

SPARC’s successful operation will prove the practicality of a large-scale commercial fusion power plant. This could perhaps pave the way for the construction of fusion plants powering clean energy grids worldwide. However, they still have many hurdles to jump before this vision can become a reality.

Zuber says: “The next step is to scale up, to build an actual power plant. There are still many challenges ahead, not the least of which is developing a design that allows for reliable, sustained operation. And realizing that the goal here is commercialization, another major challenge will be economic. How do you design these power plants so it will be cost-effective to build and deploy them?”

She hopes that thousands of fusion power plants will exist one day, and they can look back proudly on how they got there. For her, demonstrating the magnet technology provided a glimmer of hope that it was possible. While creating the first power-producing fusion device would make scientific history, she says that’s not the primary goal.

“None of us are trying to win trophies at this point. We’re trying to keep the planet livable.”

Final Thoughts on a superconducting magnet that produces a field of 20 Tesla for the first time

Scientists from MIT and Commonwealth Fusion System (CFS) recently made scientific history with their superconducting magnet. They created a field of 20 Tesla, the most powerful magnetic field of its kind ever recorded. The researchers now have their sights set on building SPARC, the world’s first successful fusion device. By demonstrating the viability of magnet technology, they wholeheartedly believe that fusion plants can power the future.

After scaling up the technology, we could one day have thousands of fusion power plants worldwide. We’re at a crossroads in humanity, but the hard work and ingenuity of scientists may steer us down the right path.

Researchers Explain the Benefits of Open-Monitoring Meditation

May 30, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Open-monitoring meditation offers countless benefits, and a new study reveals a surprising one: you’ll make fewer mistakes. It’s the largest study of its kind to date that shows how meditation could help prevent errors. The Michigan State University also discovered that meditation might improve memory for people who forget things easily.

The research, published in Brain Sciences, tested how open-monitoring meditation affected brain activity and increased error recognition. This type of meditation involves focusing on feelings, thoughts, or sensations that come into one’s field of awareness.

“People’s interest in meditation and mindfulness is outpacing what science can prove in terms of effects and benefits,” said Jeff Lin, MSU psychology doctoral candidate, and study co-author. “But it’s amazing to me that we were able to see how one session of a guided meditation can produce changes to brain activity in non-meditators.”

What This Study Suggests

The study suggests that various types of meditation can impact the brain in unique ways. Lin explains that, until now, there have been very few studies on the effects of open-monitoring meditation on brain activity.

“Some forms of meditation have you focus on a single object, commonly your breath, but open-monitoring meditation is a bit different. It has you tune inward and pay attention to everything going on in your mind and body. The goal is to sit quietly and pay close attention to where the mind travels without getting too caught up in the scenery.” -Jeff Lin, MSU

Basically, the idea behind any meditation is to increase your awareness. By getting in tune with your inner self, it helps expand your consciousness. Not only does it enhance cognition, but it also allows you to connect to yourself and others more intimately. Meditation breaks down the self-constructed barriers between your real self and the rest of the universe.

In recent decades, scientists have finally been able to quantify the effects of meditation that sages and saints have talked about for centuries.

The study showed that those who engage in open-monitoring meditation make fewer mistakes.

Lin and other MSU investigators – William Eckerle, Ling Peng, and Jason Moser — gathered over 200 participants for the research. The study tested how open-monitoring meditation impacted people’s ability to identify and correct errors.

The participants, who had no prior experience with meditation, completed a 20-minute open-monitoring meditation exercise. While they did this, researchers measured their brain activity through electroencephalography or EEG. Next, participants completed a computerized distraction test to see if they would make fewer mistakes.

“The EEG can measure brain activity at the millisecond level, so we got precise measures of neural activity right after mistakes compared to correct responses,” Lin said. “A certain neural signal occurs about half a second after an error called the error positivity, which is linked to conscious error recognition. We found that the strength of this signal is increased in the meditators relative to controls.”

While researchers didn’t observe any improvements in actual task performance, the study still reveals the benefits of meditation. Practicing mindfulness over long periods of time can improve many facets of life and help increase brain power.

“These findings are a strong demonstration of what just 20 minutes of meditation can do to enhance the brain’s ability to detect and pay attention to mistakes,” Moser said. “It makes us feel more confident in what mindfulness meditation might really be capable of for performance and daily functioning right there in the moment.”

Meditation and mindfulness have gained a lot of traction in recent decades. Even businesses have started recommending the practice to employees to increase productivity and cognition. Personal reasons to implement meditation in one’s life range from reducing stress to lowering blood pressure.

Meditating can improve every facet of your life, from health to mood

As we’ve stated before, the overarching goal of meditation is to discover your true self beneath all the layers. However, before you reach the highest state of consciousness, you’ll begin noticing subtle changes resulting from meditation. In addition to making fewer mistakes, other well-documented benefits of meditation include:

Decreased stress, anxiety, and depression: One study found that participants who meditated over the course of eight weeks felt much calmer afterward. Neuroscientists observed noticeable differences in the meditators’ brains. At the end of the study, their brain activity shifted from the stress-prone right frontal cortex to the more tranquil left side.
Improves cardiovascular health: Meditation helps lower blood pressure by increasing nitric oxide, causing blood vessels to expand. A study published in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine found that 40 of 60 people stopped taking their blood pressure medication after starting a meditation practice.
Boosts immune system: If you’re suffering from a cold or allergies, try treating it with meditation. One study by researchers at Infanta Cristina Hospital in Spain found that transcendental meditation increased white blood cells in participants. These cells help ward off infections, viruses, and bacteria.

In short, meditation offers something for everyone because it teaches you to become more aware of yourself. By quieting the mind and tuning into the limitless power of the soul, your life improves dramatically. The subtle shifts in awareness increase your mental capacity, making everyday tasks much easier. Meditation helps bring your attention to any signs of unease in your body, improving your physical health as well.

Final thoughts on how meditating might help you make fewer mistakes

Very few researchers out there take a neuroscientific approach to investigating meditation’s effects on psychology and performance. Indeed, Lin is one of these researchers committed to understanding meditation on a deeper level.

In the future, he wants to conduct more studies that include a greater number of participants. They will also test various meditation styles to determine how they impact brain activity. Finally, the researchers will test how long-term meditation could lead to positive behavioral changes.

“It’s great to see the public’s enthusiasm for mindfulness, but there’s still plenty of work from a scientific perspective to be done to understand the benefits it can have, and equally importantly, how it actually works,” Lin said. “It’s time we start looking at it through a more rigorous lens.”

15 Leadership Qualities Most People Admire

May 30, 2022 by Chris Butler

Every day, you see leaders in action. Whether you’re riding the morning train to work, eating lunch at a restaurant, or taking your child to ballet class, people who possess good leadership skills stand out. You may be considering leadership and wonder what makes a good leader. Here are fifteen leadership qualities that most people admire in a leader.

Do people learn to be leaders, or are some people born that way?

The age-old question about leaders is: are people natural born leaders or must they be taught to be good leaders? According to studies on this subject, it’s likely that it’s a combination of both things. Certainly, innate characteristics are needed to become a good leader, but hard work and experience develop a leader.

15 Leadership Qualities Most People Admire

Here are some of the qualities good leaders exhibit.

1 – Truthfulness is the top among all leadership qualities

Leaders who exhibit truthfulness in their daily lives gain the trust of those around them. Their transparency about their strengths and weakness makes people want to follow them. These mentors prove their honesty by how they live. They admit their mistakes and apologize when they’re wrong. Instead, they acknowledge their failures.

So, how do you spot a leader who is lying to you? Researchers say it’s pretty hard to tell if somebody is lying to you by just looking at them, but these things could show a leader isn’t being honest.

Too much head nodding
Talking with their hands
Hands covering their neck, chest, or head
Over the top eye contact
Filling in with “uh-huh” and “um”
Voice has no inflection
Scowling at you
Fake smile

2 – Good listener

Out of all the leadership qualities, being a good listener is probably one of the most significant. Leaders who actively listen to people, who show sincerity and attention to what they’re saying, build trust and respect. They don’t assume they know more than others or disregard them because they lack experience. A good leader wants to learn everything they can. They’re humble and respectful. People admire bosses who give them attention. They feel like their opinions count toward something and this makes them want to work hard for a leader like this.

3 – Good communicator

The ability to communicate helps leaders be effective. They know how to get their message across. Good leaders enjoy talking to people. They like hearing their opinions and getting their input. A good communicator should possess these things.

Non-verbal communication: Their body language sends a message. They’re relaxed, open stance, and have a friendly tone in their voice.
Clear and concise: They don’t say too much or too little
Friendly: Good communicators have a friendly tone and a normal smile. They encourage open discussion.
Confidence: Show confidence in how they interact with others
Open-mindedness: They’re flexible and open to others’ thoughts. They want to understand what other’s viewpoint.

4 – Able to delegate is one of the most coveted leadership qualities

Part of being a good leader is being a mentor. Mentorship is guiding others in a personal or professional setting. Part of a mentor’s role is to maximize a person’s skills by delegating responsibilities to them. Delegating isn’t as easy as it sounds. Many leaders won’t delegate out of fear of not getting the task completed how they want it. When they pass off responsibility to someone else, an insightful leader can let go and trust the person will get it done completely.

5 – Self-discipline

Self-discipline is often an overlooked leadership quality. A skilled leader isn’t impulsive. They stay focused to see a project through to the end. A leader who lacks self-disciple is a hindrance to those around them. What are some signs that a leader lacks self-discipline?

The lack of impulse control: Their lack of self-control causes confusion and a lack of clarity about what they want.
They create anxiety: A leader who lacks self-control stirs up anxiety for those who work for them.
Unpredictable: They have lots of ideas, but little follow-through. You never know what they’ll do next.

6 – Shows appreciation

Can you imagine a boss who never says thank you? Showing appreciation is an admired quality in a leader. Good leaders value their people. They show appreciation for them and acknowledge their efforts. Leaders who understand the importance of recognizing their employees with mutual respect create an atmosphere where everyone can flourish. There is team spirit. Everyone wants to work together for a common goal.

7 – Being decisive, one of the important leadership qualities

Decisiveness means being able to make quick decisions when needed. A good leader evaluates a circumstance, collects the information, and then concludes. Decisive leaders focus on a direction and achieve work to achieve an aim. They don’t listen to rumors or react out of fear because of what others say about them.

8 – Accountable to others

People admire leaders who are accountable to others. Everyone knows those leaders who are answerable to no one. These loner-leaders think they don’t need to adhere to rules and regulations like everyone else. Of course, these leaders often lack honesty. They often end up in some kind of a legal mess, leaving everyone else around them to pick up the pieces of their chaotic leadership. An accountable leader owns up to their commitments and promises. They respect you enough to admit their mistakes and ask for help when they need it.

9 – Can motivate others

A leader motivates the people around them to achieve great results. They know how to empower them to use their talents and skills. A skillful leader sees the potential in others and encourages them to step out and pursue new ideas or ventures and conquer new challenges. When people lack guidance, they lose motivation and vision for what they can do.

10 – Being self-motivated is one of the intrinsic leadership qualities

Just as a good leader must be able to motivate the people around them, they must have self-motivation. This self-motivation doesn’t depend upon others to meet your goals. They keep going even if they face setbacks or challenges. They’re motivated to step out and take opportunities when they see them.

11 – Dependable

If you can’t depend upon a leader, it makes you feel uneasy. A dependable leader shows follow-through and responsibility. They do what they say. Dependable people can be trusted to do their share of the work and to work together to get through tough times. If someone is a good leader, you rely upon them to respond to your requests, to be accountable, and to show consistency in how they conduct themselves.

12 – Ambitious

Ambition is driving motivation. Leaders who possess ambition have a creative and entrepreneurial spirit. Ambitious leaders focus on performance because they’re so motivated to reach their goals. Of course, the negative side of ambition leads to a workaholic and creates anxiety for those around them. A good leader knows how to be ambitious without giving in to the extreme. Here are five things you’ll see in an ambitious leader.

Goal setting: Leaders are goal-oriented, striving towards a new goal or idea.
Risk-taker: They’re willing to take risks and not prone to anxiety or fear
Not competitive with others: Ambitious people are more able to stretch themselves
Open to new ways: These folks are open to innovative ideas and new ways of thinking. They love to learn.

13 – Not micromanagers

An admired leader doesn’t micromanage. They inspire and help you understand what’s needed, then they let you do the job. Leaders don’t get into the nitty-gritty of what you’re doing. They aren’t telling you how to do the job because they trust you to get the job done. Micromanagers tend to

Never leave you alone to do your task
They check on you all the time
They’re constantly correcting you about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it
Control freaks

Micromanaging sabotages people’s ability to complete their tasks. Not only does it ruin productivity, but it lowers morale, slows the work pace, and reduces people’s sense of loyalty to the project. A leader that micromanages isn’t admired.

14 – Don’t blame

Effective leaders aren’t into blaming others. Indeed, they understand that blaming people is never productive. A skilled leader recognizes people need to be inspired, not pushed down. They strive to help people feel successful and are quick to give credit to others. A good leader won’t blame the people around them for things that happen. They take responsibility and the blame when necessary.

15 – Reliable

Reliability is one of the essential leadership qualities. People feel they are dependable, which builds trust in those around them. If a leader isn’t reliable, people are afraid to follow them for fear of being led astray. How do you know if a leader is reliable? Here are some traits of a reliable leader:

Remember to follow up with you
Is clear about their expectations
They’re on time
Keep their promises
Meet deadlines
Don’t leave you hanging

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Top Leadership Qualities

You know a good leader when you see them. It’s easy to admire someone who is a good leader. These leadership qualities are just some characteristics that most people admire in a leader. If you’re considering leadership, hopefully, this article will inspire you to become a leader that people admire.

Make Gratitude a Habit by Doing These 11 Things

May 30, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

The Universe is a beautifully balanced flow of giving and receiving. Both people are blessed when someone gives from a pure heart, and the receiver is honestly grateful. Do you try to make gratitude a habit each day?

According to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, gratitude comes from the Latin word for grateful or pleasing. It’s a deep-seated emotion that expresses joy for what’s before you. Gratitude is also related to the word grace, which means to find favor in someone or something.

If you’ve decided to make gratitude a habit, you will probably begin with what you have. You must be thankful for all the people and things that create a beautiful life for you. Many people call it counting your blessings.

While you’re grateful for the things you have, how about the items you don’t have? The world is overflowing with misfortune, disease, and other terrible trials. You are blessed beyond measure to escape some of the pangs others experience.

What are some of the qualities you admire in others? Honesty, integrity, loyalty, and a good sense of humor probably come to mind. How about people who express gratitude?

It’s inspiring to surround yourself with positive and grateful individuals for their blessings. However, negative people often voice their dissatisfaction with life and may shift the blame to others. These unhappy folks may have developed this pattern over years of being unthankful.

Eleven Ways to Make Gratitude a Habit

Seeing the beauty in your life and being grateful is not difficult. All it takes is an open heart that’s thankful for material goods and the things money can’t buy. Here are 11 things you can do to encourage more gratitude in your life and do it routinely.

1. Nothing’s Too Insignificant to Appreciate

Of course, you should be grateful for all the stellar things in your life, such as family, friends, and meeting your needs. However, you could be missing opportunities to appreciate the small things. When you make gratitude a habit, you realize the full spectrum of your blessings.

Some of these may not be necessary for life, but they sure make the journey more comfortable. When were you last thankful for heat in your home or the appliances that do so much? You may not think about these benefits until something stops working.

2. Add a Daily Gratitude List to Your Journal

Now is the best time to start if you’ve never kept a journal. This age-old practice may provide physical and mental benefits. Plus, journaling gives a voice to your thoughts and can help you make gratitude a habit.

You can either combine a gratitude list with your regular journal or compose a separate one. It doesn’t require much time to jot down a few blessings each day. Your daily gratitude list gives you something positive to ponder throughout the day.

3. Practice Mindful Living

Life is too short to go through it at warp speed without awareness and appreciation. Maybe you’re one of the countless people who rush blindly through their workday and pass out in bed at night. Sadly, these folks are often guilty in the twilight of their lives, as they never fully appreciate their blessings.

Deciding to make gratitude a habit is an integral part of mindful living. It’s a way to slow your pace and appreciate each moment. Remember to savor delicious food, linger in long conversations, breathe, and be aware.

4. Show Gratitude to Others

In the hustle of today’s world, it’s easy to forget the kind words and deeds. It only takes a fraction of a second to offer a genuine “thank you.” Also, “no problem” and “yep” can never replace a courteous “you’re welcome.”

To make gratitude, a habit includes expressing your appreciation for other people. You are grateful for generous favors and appreciate them as your family, friends, and coworkers. Your sincere gratitude should also extend to those who serve in public and strangers who do a good deed.

While fashion is constantly changing, impeccable manners have never gone out of style. It still shows gratitude when you send people thank-you notes for gifts and other kindnesses. Be the one to go against modern convenience and bypass emails in favor of letters and cards sent via the post office.

5. Discover the Hidden Blessing

Nobody wants to deal with problems and heavy burdens. However, it’s the nature of life, and everyone has them. Dr. Maya Angelou recommended changing things you don’t like. She says to change your attitude toward them if you can’t change them.

Acceptance can only be cultivated with a heart of gratitude. Try to find the blessing or silver lining in some of your bleakest moments. While losing your job was a hard blow, maybe it’s time for you to have a better one.

Finding the bright spot in your cloudy trials doesn’t negate the pain and disappointment. However, you can often see what they taught you and how they helped you grow. You learn to have empathy and appreciation for the preciousness of life.

6. Keep a Positive Attitude

It’s impossible to be happy always, and everyone’s entitled to an occasional bad day. You will have times when you feel overwhelmed with negativity. The good news is that making gratitude a habit can also help you feel more optimistic.

An article published by Harvard Medical School says that being thankful may also improve your health and strengthen your relationships. You can attract more positive things when you surround yourself with positive energy. You’ll also attract more people with the same optimistic outlook.

7. Say Grace before Meals

You needn’t be a religious person to be thankful for the healthy, delicious food before you. Cultivating gratitude as a habit includes looking beyond yourself to the source of your blessings. Whether you appeal to a divinity or the Universe, you acknowledge that greater forces are at work in your life.

It can be a simple prayer, or you can pause for a moment and think of the farmers, laborers, and all the others that provided the food that sits on your table. Especially be grateful for the hands that lovingly prepared and served you.

8. Practice Giving Back

Remember the many mentors and other benefactors who shared their time and resources to help you along the way? Besides offering your thanks verbally, you can put action to your gratitude by following their examples. Giving back to others and your community keeps the appreciation alive and well.

Even when you have a busy job, you can carve out some time to volunteer. Teach a class in your place of worship or take hot meals to homebound people. Find a new person in your profession and offer to be a mentor and friend.

9. Keep Gratitude Reminders

As a way for making gratitude a habit, try to appeal to your senses. Place quotes and other inspirational words in places you’re bound to see each day. You can write yourself notes on colorful adhesive papers as a fun reminder to be thankful.

Do you have attractive pictures or other lovely works of art that turn your heart toward gratitude? Your tactile reminder can be a sentimental trinket or a piece of jewelry. Even something as simple as a pretty rock or shell in your pocket can evoke a special memory for which you are thankful.

10. Be Grateful for Yourself

Never in history has there ever been someone just like you, nor will there ever be. You are as singular as a snowflake, and you can be grateful for your uniqueness. It’s not narcissistic to love yourself as a person and appreciate your knowledge and skills.

Before you can be thankful for others in your circle, you must appreciate yourself. Practice looking in the mirror each morning and find something attractive about yourself. Self-respect leads to confidence and a positive attitude that allows you to see the good in everyone else.

11. Teach Gratitude to Your Children

If you want your children to make gratitude a habit, they will first learn from you. Have age-appropriate discussions about the meaning of blessings and the importance of being thankful. Even young children get the message with little stories and providing simple examples.

When you see or hear your kids being grateful, praise them for remembering. It will soon be a habit that will follow them into adulthood. Since you teach more by example, be a role model and let them see your gratitude.

Final Thoughts on Making Gratitude a Habit

One of the best attitudes you can display is gratitude. Not only does your appreciation benefit others, but it can create boundless joy in your spirit. The more you count your blessings, the more blessings there will be to count.

15 Signs You’re Ready for New Romance

May 30, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

After going through a breakup, it might take some time before you’re ready for a new romance. You might consider meeting someone new once you begin to heal and move on. Knowing the signs that you’re ready can help you determine if it’s a good idea to start dating again.

It’s exciting to realize that you’re ready for a romance after a breakup, but it can also be scary. Ensuring you’re ready is one of the best ways to ensure a positive experience. If you aren’t sure if you’re ready, you can look for the signs.

Attempting another romantic relationship before you’re ready can cause many problems. Rushing into a relationship before you’ve healed can hinder your process. It won’t help you heal, and it’ll put a strain on your new relationship right from the start.

Fifteen Signs You’re Ready for New Romance

There is no timeframe for being ready to date again, and it’ll be different for everyone. Knowing what to look for will help you recognize the signs because they’re typically subtle. Before starting a new romance, ensure you’ve experienced the signs that you’re ready.

1. You Know What You Want and Don’t Want in a Relationship

If you know what you want in a partner, you might be ready for a new relationship. You should also know what you don’t want because it’s just as important. Don’t focus on what you want your future partner to look like, but focus on who they are.

Think about what you need in a relationship, and don’t even think about spending time with someone that doesn’t fit the criteria. If you need someone open about their feelings or that has specific values, stick to that. By knowing what you want and don’t want, you’ll avoid unhealthy relationships in the future.

2. You’re Open to the Idea of a New Relationship

After a breakup, you might not even want to think about a new relationship immediately. When the time to date again comes, and you start to open up to the idea, it’s a sign that you’re ready. You can start using view free cams and enjoy meeting beautiful ladies online.

If the idea of meeting someone excites you, it’s a sure sign that now is a good time. However, if the idea of meeting someone new repulses you, it’s a sign that you’re not ready.

3. You Have Individual Interests and Friend Groups

When you’re in a relationship, you might lose interest in things you once loved. You also might have the same friend groups as your previous partner. If you’re in this situation, you must find individual interests and a different friend group before you’ll be ready for a romance.

After a breakup, start looking for new hobbies you’ve always wanted to try or revisit old ones. Don’t forget to find a separate friend group, too, as it’ll help you move forward. Once you accomplish both of those things, you’ll be ready for a new relationship.

4. Thoughts of Your Ex No Longer Make You Feel Bad

You might be ready for a new romance if you no longer get upset or feel heartache when you see or hear about your ex. It is a sign that healing has taken place, and you’re ready to take a chance with someone new. However, if you’re still checking your ex’s social media, it’s a sign that your thoughts aren’t in the right place.

If you’re still hoping you and your ex will get back together, it’s also a sign that you’re not ready. However, if your feelings toward your ex are neutral, you can start considering meeting someone new.

5. You’re Done Grieving

If the grieving period has ended, it’s a sign that you’re ready to move on with someone else. Ending the grieving period means you’re not crying every time your ex is mentioned, and you’re not constantly talking about them. It also means that your heart doesn’t still feel broken.

6. You Can Positively Think Back on Past Relationships

After a breakup, thinking back over the relationship might be a negative experience. Once you overcome that mindset, you can look back and think of more positive aspects instead. When you think more good thoughts than bad ones about your past relationship, it’s a sign that you’re ready.

Being able to think positive thoughts is a sign that healing has occurred. It indicates that you’re emotionally prepared for a new relationship after your breakup.

7. You’ve Accepted Your Breakup and Realized It Was for The Best

One of the essential steps in your healing process is to accept what happened. If you’ve accepted the breakup and can see it was for the best, you’re headed in the right direction. While it still might be a sad situation, your acceptance can help you move forward.

8. You’re in a Better Mood Overall

If you notice that your mood has improved and you’ve been consistently happy, it’s a good sign you’re ready for a romance. The sadness, anger, and other negative feelings will have dissipated, and you’ll experience happiness and joy in life instead.

Being in a good mood regardless of your relationship status shows that you know your worth. Understanding that you can feel good and be happy alone is a good sign. Once you meet someone new, you’ll be more confident and ready to experience a healthy relationship.

9. You’re Ready to Give and Receive Love

If you realize that you want to give and receive love, it’s a sign that it’s time for romance. You can’t only focus on yourself here because you must be ready to give love, too. One indication that you’re ready is your desire to hold and support another person.

10. You’ve Learned to Love Yourself Again

After a bad relationship, you might not love yourself very much. A new romance won’t help you love yourself, either. Learning to love yourself is a personal experience, and you’re not ready for a new relationship until you’ve worked on it.

Once you’ve learned to love yourself, it’s a sign that you are ready to meet someone new. With self-love, you won’t have to rely on someone else for your happiness.

11. You Feel Like You Live a Fulfilling Life

You might be ready for a new relationship when you’re content with your life and feel it’s fulfilling and meaningful. It shows that you can add value to another person’s life without taking away from yours. Make sure you’re happy with your friends, family, work-life, health, and self-care before seeking romance.

When you feel fulfilled, you can feel secure moving forward. You’ll know that you aren’t using dating to escape your pain.

12. You Have Rediscovered Who You Are as an Individual

Learning about yourself as a single person is essential before you’ll be ready for a new relationship. It’s common to lose your sense of self during a relationship, especially if you often had to compromise. Rediscover who you are, and then you’ll find you are ready to meet someone new.

13. You Don’t Experience Negativity When Thinking About Your Past

While you shouldn’t live in the past, there will be times when you think of it. Little things will remind you of those times, and you might encounter people you knew back then. When these situations occur, consider the way it makes you feel.

You might be ready to move on if you don’t experience negativity when thinking about the past. Try to think of the positives from the past because they helped make you stronger and shaped you into the person you are. When you can think this way, it’s a sign that you’re ready for romance.

14. You Want to Start Dating Again

If dating again brings you excitement, it’s a sign that you’re ready. When you meet someone and think you want to spend more time with them, it might be time to try it.

Noticing that other people are attractive shows you’re moving on from your breakup. However, if dating again repulses you, you likely aren’t ready to move on.

15. You Learned from Your Mistakes

If your mistakes are the reason for the breakup, then you must learn from them. You won’t be ready for a new romance until you’ve addressed the behavior and worked to change it. Getting into another romantic relationship without learning from your mistakes will only cause the cycle to begin again.

If you didn’t do anything wrong and your partner made mistakes, learn from that situation instead. You can learn to address or recognize certain behaviors in your partner to prevent the same experience. No matter what occurs, there is a learning opportunity in every breakup.

Final Thoughts on Signs You’re Ready for New Romance After a Breakup

A breakup is life-changing, so you must be ready before starting a new romance. If you are ready, maintain a positive mindset as you begin experiencing the new relationship. Even if you don’t start a serious relationship, you’ll want to stay positive as you start dating again.

If you wait until you’re ready before starting a new relationship, you’ll have a much better experience. The relationships you choose will be healthy, and you won’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Remember these signs as you decide whether to move forward romantically.

15 Reasons Journaling May Help You Increase Thankfulness

May 29, 2022 by Kristen Butler

There are some pretty impressive benefits to journaling, but did you think that it could increase thankfulness? Sure, getting out all your frustrations on a piece of paper can be therapeutic, but most people expect paybacks like better sleep, gratitude, and less sickness. It turns out; research has found that when you journal, it increases your thankfulness for your life and the things around it.

Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., is an expert in the field of gratitude, and his wisdom was used to write an article on Greater Good Magazine. He authored many books, including The Little Book of Gratitude. He states that you get the greatest psychological rewards when you journal.

Emmons believes that you release gratitude as you get personal with your feelings when you unlock this door. You’re forced to “relish” and “savor” everything in your life, and you become more aware of your emotions. Writing your life story helps to create meaning to your very existence.

Fifteen Ways Journaling Can Increase Thankfulness

The social, psychological, and physical health benefits of journaling are hard to deny, but if you want to increase your thankfulness, then here are 15 ways this task can help.

1. Dedicate Time in Introspection to Increase Thankfulness

If you’re like most folks, you struggle for time by yourself. While it’s not always easy to carve out time to journal, it’s worth the effort. Committing this task forces you to dedicate time for introspection.

It’s pretty scary to tap into your thoughts at first, but soon you will uncover both the strengths and weaknesses you possess. You must learn to love yourself and all you have to offer to your family, friends, and job. Part of this deep introspection is being thankful for the gifts you’ve been given.

2. You See What an Abundant Life You Have

Try each day to write down a few things you’re thankful for in your life. Now, choose one of those things for the next day to deliberate your gratitude towards. For instance, you can be thankful for the family you’ve been blessed with, and dedicating your gratitude towards them will ensure you don’t take them for granted.

It’s always best to start journaling with your gratitude list, and it will keep you centered and remind you of your abundant life.

3. Remember Important Things You Might Forget

Part of your journaling each day should be to keep a calendar of sorts. This will help you to be a better planner, and you won’t forget the dates that are so important. When’s the last time you forgot a birthday, anniversary, or another special occasion because you were so busy?

These dates are an essential part of giving thanks to the Universe for your blessings. An anniversary commemorates another year with your spouse, and a birthday celebrates another year your child is alive and thriving. So, calendar keeping is another way to be thankful that you can reach milestones and honor them.

4. Concentrate on Yourself and Bring Things Into Focus

Journaling puts you in the driver’s seat, and you get to be in control of your life. Since being on earth can sometimes feel like you live in the fast lane, it’s nice to take a breather and be in control for a change. Did you know that one of the main reasons people struggle with mental health disorders like anxiety is their lack of control?

According to Personality Growth, when you start to accept the things you cannot control, you can manage your anxiety. Having just a tiny amount of time to reflect on all the good things, and stop dwelling on the bad ones, can help your thankfulness increase. Who doesn’t need help with anxiety from time to time?

5. Enhanced Accountability in Life

You should keep a list of the essential tasks in your life in your journal, as well as running through the events of yesterday. This helps you to be more accountable. Your time is a precious gift you should be thankful for, so there’s no need to waste one minute.

6. Focus On the Present

How often is your body present in one location, but your mind is a million miles away? Being present in the moment is a big challenge for many, but journaling can help. How many beautiful things do you miss in life because you’re not truly present?

You’re missing out on the simple things about your life that are so beautiful and good for you. Thankfully, taking your thoughts from your brain to paper forces you to be in the moment and not let the little things pass you by.

7. The Creative Juices Flow So You Can Increase Thankfulness

Most folks go through life in a hurry, focused on getting all the things done they need to accomplish. Sadly, you’re not allowing room for your creative juices to flow. Your mind is cluttered, and it’s keeping you from creating space that will enable you to generate room for new and fresh ideas.

You’re brilliant, and you can realize this and be thankful for it once you declutter your headspace with journaling.

8. Distractions and Worries Are Minimized as Gratitude Takes Over

Do you bury your feelings in the business of the day? Some things distract you from your goals, and you should write them down and acknowledge them. The good news is by identifying your worries and any red flags. You can deal with issues before they get out of control.

There are so many things that steal your joy in life. Thankfully, you can call them out and deal with them before they become an issue.

9. Sleep Without Worry

You must get adequate rest. During the night hours, your body regenerates itself. How can you be positive and have an attitude of gratitude if you’re sleep-deprived?

When you journal, you’re forcing yourself to spend time planning, in deep introspection, organizing thoughts, and being accountable. This allows you to go to sleep without worrying as you’ve already dealt with all your troubles.

10. Promoting Gratitude and Positivity Promotes and Increases Productivity

An increase in productivity is something to be thankful for to the busy person. Journaling can be motivating, primarily if you use it to keep a to-do list that transfers from day today. Getting things done, having more time with family and friends, and impressing the boss will increase your gratitude as well as your attitude.

11. Master Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is about self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. It’s challenging to master these skills as a busy person, but journaling can help. Your emotional intelligence can help you understand your thoughts and feelings, so you can handle them better when stressful times come.

When you manage your stress, you’re calmer, easier to be around, and don’t have those feelings of angst tearing you apart. It’s hard to be thankful for all your gifts and blessings when you’re a ball of nerves, but journaling can help.

12. New Found Patience and Calmness

Everyone has frustrations and disappointments, but you can highlight specific nuances by using your journal. This will allow you to tackle patterns in yourself and others so that you can alter things. You’ll learn to handle things much better when you have more patience and are calmer.

13. Builds Positive Habits

Positive habits can increase thankfulness, like take time for self-care, going on dates with your spouse, and taking daily vitamins. Positive habits enhance your life, and you can start looking at life as the glass is half full rather than half empty.

14. Journaling Creates a Routine That Can Increase Thankfulness

Routines and structure are good things. What would an infant be without a set schedule? Routines are also very grounding, so they can help you when you feel like you’re being pulled in numerous directions.

Grounding yourself allows you to get all your thoughts out, and it can help you increase your attitude of gratitude. Most people don’t realize they have food on their table, while 12 million kids live in homes with food shortages. According to research from Hunger in America, it really is the little things that matter so much.

15. Progress and Personal Growth

One of the best parts about journaling is going back through them at some point. If you want to increase your thankfulness, then look at where you are now and where you’ve been. Growth is substantial to monitor, and having a record of your life can encourage you to keep going.

The things that bother you today won’t even be a factor six months from now, and you will forget them in time. Your story is something you can share with your children, and they will share with their children in years to come.

Final Thoughts on Ways To Increase Thankfulness by Journal Writing

There are many benefits to journal, but few know how much it can increase your thankfulness. When you consider that you have a loving family, a roof over your head, food in the cabinets, a strong support system, and the ability to get up and walk across the floor, you will realize how massive your blessings are.

Journaling allows you to get out of a negative mindset, be more present in the moment, and helps you to develop an attitude of gratitude. If you want to increase your thankfulness, dedicate more time to journaling and less time to worry.

15 Behaviors That Reveal a Harmful Relationship

May 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

All relationships have problems once in a while. But if you’re in a relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable, this should be a red flag to you. Harmful relationships have some common characteristics. Here are fifteen behaviors that show you could be in an unhealthy relationship.

1 – Unhealthy communication reveals a harmful relationship

In a toxic relationship, partners have unhealthy communication. Instead of open, honest communication for both partners, one person dominates the conversations. They may insist on being the one who has the last word or always corrects you when you share your thoughts. Other harmful ways of communicating in these relationships include

Sarcasm
Criticism
Hostility
Anger
Bitterness
Contempt
Guilting the other person

You must be free to share your opinions without fear of being judged or attacked. If you do, this is an alarming sign that your relationship isn’t healthy.

2 – A harmful relationship displays jealousy

Jealousy in a relationship is a big red flag. Many people mistakenly believe that jealousy is a sign of genuine love or care, but jealousy isn’t healthy. Your partner is controlling and possessive. Jealousy is called a “green-eyed monster.”

That’s how bad jealousy is! It’s a suffocating type of love that doesn’t give you a happy relationship. If you see this happening in your relationship, it may be wise to end it. There are dire consequences ahead if you don’t.

3 – Those in a hostile union may not be supportive of each other

In a healthy relationship, both partners support one another in their careers, ambitions, or dreams. They want the other person to succeed, even if they need to sacrifice to make it happen. In an unhealthy relationship, there is little encouragement. Instead, your partner laughs at you when you share your dreams. They don’t respect how hard you work but feel angry if you succeed. This competition makes the relationship feel unsafe. You’re tempted not to mention the good you do or anything you’d like to do because you are afraid of being humiliated by the other person.

4 – Controlling behaviors reveal negativity

Some signs your partner is controlling are they ask you where you are all the time, they get upset if you don’t answer their calls right away, or they get angry when you want to go out with friends. A controlling person is manipulative. They act loving, but this gets you to do what they want more than genuine care for you. They may cry or complain that you don’t love them because you want to be with your friends more than them. This behavior is to make you feel bad. You may believe them at first, but after a while, recognize this is toxic behavior. A harmful synonym is subversive. This is an excellent description of what’s going on in this relationship. Subversive means to overthrow, which a controlling person is trying to do.

5 – Dishonesty in your relationship

Does your partner lie to you? Have you found out they lied about where they were? Do you sense they’re lying about their feelings or wants? If you pick up these vibes, there is a good chance they are dishonest. Other signs of dishonesty are the following:

Accusing other people of lying
Avoiding looking you in the eye
Leaning away from you when they talk to you
Accusing you of lying to them
Turning off message notifications on their phone
Turning off their location on their phone
Hiding transaction receipts

Honesty is everything, so this is an enormous red flag.

6. Disrespect is common in a harmful relationship

Disrespect is harmful to a romantic relationship. It essentially says you’re not that important to the other person. If they cared for you, they’d attempt to show respect. Other signs your partner disrespects you includes these behaviors:

Interrupting you
Never listening to you
Excluding you in their decision-making process
Telling lies to you
Ignoring your boundaries
Gossiping about you
Being late for appointments together
Talking at you instead of talking to you
Minimizing your concerns

7 – A harmful relationship might include dangerous financial behavior

If your partner makes bad financial decisions without consulting you, this is a sign of a toxic relationship. Their poor financial choices can come back to bite you if you sign off on loan paperwork or share a bank account. Please don’t ignore this behavior or think they’ll eventually change. Recognize this as a red flag that you’re in a negative relationship.

8 – A negative partner hinders your other relationships

Have you stopped going to your family’s house on the weekend because of this relationship? Do you feel guilty hanging out with friends? If you’re avoiding conflict with your partner by avoiding your family or friends, this is a sign you’re in a toxic relationship. Your partner doesn’t care about you. They want you to be with them all the time. This clinginess is a sign of jealousy and control.

9 – Constant tension stems from a harmful partnership

Tension is stressful when you’re around your partner or worrying they’ll be mad at you. Living constantly on edge is a bad sign that this relationship could cause you injury. It affects your mental and physical health. You may give in to drinking too much alcohol or overeating. If you’re living in a constant state of fear and tension, your relationship is not healthy.

10 – A toxic partner will ignore your needs

Does your partner ignore your needs? Do they plan things without you? Do they make financial decisions without consulting you? These are signs they are more aware of themselves than they are you. When your partner doesn’t care if they include you in their life, this relationship won’t succeed.

11 – A harmful partner is critical of your friends

If your partner belittles your friends and family, it’s a sign they don’t accept the essential people to you. Their tendency to criticize your family and friends could be rooted in their insecurities. If you see this in your relationship, it’s a sure sign of a toxic relationship.

12 – Outbursts of anger arise from a harmful partnership

Does your partner have outbursts of anger at you? Do they yell or maybe even throw things when they’re mad? These are signs of an unsafe person who has lost control. They aren’t safe to be around, and you shouldn’t feel you need to stay in this relationship. At some point, your partner may feel remorseful for their behavior and beg you to forgive them, but sadly, they don’t attempt to change once you forgive them. The cycle of anger and abuse will be without actual resolution.

13 – Threats may come from the most dangerous type of relationship

If your partner threatens or intimidates you, this is a sign of an abusive person. They may threaten verbally or physically. A mean person also manipulates. After their threats, they may apologize so sincerely that you think they are sorry for what they’ve done. They may make you feel guilty for thinking of breaking up with them by saying you’re a hypocrite because you get angry. As much as you want to believe your partner, it’s best to get out of this relationship immediately for your safety.

14 – You sense something is off

Suppose you sense something wrong with how the person relates to you—good chance you’re right. Trust your gut even if you can’t explain your feelings about the other person. If you feel uncomfortable, get out of the relationship.

15 – A hostile relationship causes a lack of affection

Romantic relationships should include appreciation. A loving caress, a kiss, or a smile across the room are all regular displays of love in a healthy relationship. A lack of affection is harmful and could mean your partner isn’t interested in you. If you notice this, don’t ignore this behavior. It’s revealing.

How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship?

You must acknowledge signs of an abusive relationship. If you notice your partner is controlling, this could indicate abuse. Other warning signs of abuse include

Humiliating you in front of others
Blaming you for everything
Verbal threats
Name-calling
Mocking

Heavy alcohol use and violence go hand in hand. Studies show that partner abuse is often connected to heavy drinking. Drinking causes loss of control and fight response. Other factors that are linked to partner abuse are

Personality disorders
Drug use
Having been abused by another partner

Final Thoughts on Getting Out of a Harmful Relationship

If you suspect you’re in an unhealthy relationship, here are steps you should consider.

Keep track of what’s going on: Write about what is happening. It can help you get a clear picture of the toxic nature of the relationship. Seeing the patterns of negativity will help you take the next step.
Safety is critical: Safety is vital if you’re in a toxic relationship. If your partner has threatened you, do not be alone with them. Always have a trusted friend with you as you leave. Call the local authorities if you don’t have anyone to help you. Go to a safe location. Don’t tell your partner where you’re going and ask your friends not to say to them.
Break all communication: Stop all contact with them. Please don’t talk to them on the phone or social media. Don’t let other people convey messages to you. You may need to change your phone number. This is a hassle, but it’s important they can’t reach you or leave threatening messages.
Don’t go back: Even if you still feel you love the person, don’t get back into their relationship. You don’t need to put yourself in this harmful relationship again. Toxic people rarely change unless they put enormous effort into it. If you are still in danger, get a restraining order for your safety. It would be best if you acknowledged things are badly broken, and you can’t fix them.

12 Tips to Find Common Ground With People Who Disagree With You

May 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

Disagreements are commonplace in any relationship. Whether you have personal or professional turmoil, finding common ground and resolving the matter is essential. There will be conflicts whenever you have a group of people, and it’s a fantasy if you think that things will always be easy sailing.

The most common reason for disagreements is a communication breakdown. Have you ever played the old game called Telephone? A group of people sits in a circle. One person whispers something into the first person’s ear, continuing to pass the saying around the group.

By the time the sentence gets to the last person, it’s completely different than what the first person stated. This exercise is a technique that’s often used in team-building to show how effortless it is to get things misconstrued. A breakdown in communication or gossip can be the most significant cause of arguments.

Since you know there will be disagreements, you must develop strategies to handle them. Have you ever heard of a mediator? These professionals spend their days as a go-between for people who can’t agree. These folks are often used instead of going to court, as they have a knack for problem-solving.

While having a mediator is a nice perk, you can learn some of the same tactics to resolve disagreements in your life. The next time you have an issue with someone, you need to find common ground to build on.

Twelve Ways To Find Common Ground in Disagreements

If you want to handle your disagreements productively, you need to utilize the tools of those specializing in resolutions. Here are the twelve most common ways that you can find common ground and end disputes.

1. Be Open To Hearing the Other Side

One of the biggest reasons people disagree is that they don’t understand one another. If one person wants to be heard but won’t even consider the opinion of others, then it’s undoubtedly going to cause disagreements. While you don’t have to agree with the other party, you should be open to listening to their side of things.

2. Get Past Your Triggers

Everyone has triggers, and some people know how to push every button. Try to overlook anything that might set you on defense mode, as it’s usually personal things that trigger you. It would help to get beyond these tender spots to deal with the matter effectively.

3. Focus on Similarities

Stop looking so much for the differences and start focusing on the similarities. One way to look for common ground and begin resolving a disagreement is to focus on your agreement.

If you only look at the things you differ on, you’re only widening the gap between you. Even if you must stretch yourself a bit, you must find a point of agreement to build on.

4. Listen More Than You Speak

Why is it that when people are arguing, they want to talk more than they listen? It can become quite intense when two people try to interject their feelings.

Make it a rule that you listen more than you speak while trying to resolve a matter. Resist the urge to let your opinions fly and see what the other person says.

5. Take Responsibility

There are three things to consider in any conflict: their view, their opinion, and the truth. When the disagreements become heated, you want to avoid pointing the finger. When you start making accusations at the other person, you will have little chance of resolving the matter.

Try taking responsibility for your part or feelings on the issue. Don’t lay everything at their doorstep. Realize that you can be just as much a part of the issue as the other person, so work on finding common ground rather than hurling blame at one another.

6. Focus On the Topic and Don’t Bring In Other Things

Why do people want to bring up the past when there’s a disagreement? Don’t focus on things that happened yesterday that aren’t relevant to the issues. Instead, work hard to keep your focus on the problem at hand.

These situations often occur when one person has their foot out the door, so you don’t want to give them the push they need to keep going.

7. Bring Positivity to the Table

Have you ever heard the old saying that you will attract more flies with honey than vinegar? Rather than bringing a negative attitude into conflict resolution, try being positive. If you think you will resolve the issue, you will probably accomplish this task.

However, if you come into the conversation determined to get your point across and have an “in your face” attitude, you’ll likely make things worse.

8. Agree to Disagree

In many instances, there will be no way to agree on everything. You have your opinion, and they have their views. So, the best way to resolve this issue is to agree to disagree.

While it’s not the perfect resolution, it’s certainly better than fighting. In many cases, there isn’t a way to resolve the matter or find common ground.

9. Talk Face to Face

There are breakdowns of communication that occur when you talk on the phone or in text messages. It’s always best to handle any issue face-to-face.

Whether you’re dealing with professional or personal things doesn’t matter. Look someone right in the eyes to handle conflict. Additionally, it also helps to avoid misunderstandings. You are more likely to get a better resolution when present and engaging in the conversation.

This is especially true in business. Your mind can wander and make you think the person on the other end is a monster, but when you’re in front of them, you realize they’re not that bad.

10. Take a Break

It might be time for a break if you cannot find anything in common and the discussions seem to be going nowhere. It doesn’t mean that the debate isn’t necessary or doesn’t need to be deliberated, but you need some time to cool off and come to your senses.

11. Use a Lower Voice

People automatically assume you will raise your voice when discussing things get heated. When you do the opposite, you will throw them off and make them more apt to listen. Talking in soft tones doesn’t put the other party in defense mode; second, it makes them listen to you more intently.

Michael J. Formica, MS, MA, EdM, states that you should raise your words, not your voice. Uncooperative dialogue can fracture a relationship. You show your social and emotional limitations when you raise your voice and use tactics like name-calling.

12. Put It Behind You

Once you’ve resolved things, you must put them behind you. While what’s been forgiven isn’t always forgotten, you don’t want to keep throwing it in the other person’s face. Do you like it when people bring up things from your past?

No one likes to remember times when things didn’t go so well. So, when you make a pact to resolve the matter, remind yourself of the importance of letting it go. Whether in a business or a professional relationship, starting with a clean slate rather than harboring malice is vital.

Final Thoughts on Finding Common Ground

Relationships take work. There’s no way you will always agree with everyone; sometimes, arguments can make or break your partnership. Ironically, many people get upset about something, and the feud grows until they don’t even remember why they were angry in the first place.

Have you ever seen family members that haven’t spoken in years? They let something small come between them, which drives a permanent wedge. Very few things are worth cutting someone entirely off in life, and you need to stop and look at the situation.

Take, for instance, Edna. Everything was going great in her life. Her son decided to get married, and things were going well at first. When they had their first child, Edna was a bit overbearing.

During a heated argument about how to properly mother the baby, the daughter-in-law became furious. She and her husband decided never to speak to Edna again because of her constant overbearing approach. Years passed, and Edna never got to see her grandson grow. At her time of death, it had been over forty years since she had seen or heard from her son. They didn’t even show up at the funeral.

Something as small as a disagreement on mothering a newborn became a family feud lasting four decades. Edna tried to apologize over the years, but the stubborn nature of her son and daughter-in-law made them ignore her words.

Think long and hard before burning bridges and cutting ties with people. Try to find common ground, no matter how challenging, and work from there. There’re very few things worth severing relationships, so be careful and work towards a resolution.

In the instance of the overbearing grandmother, setting firm boundaries might have been the conflict resolution they needed. There’s always a way to resolve issues, but you must take your emotions out of the situation.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!