After a breakup, you might want to text your ex, but you should refrain. It is never a good idea, even if it seems innocent enough. Instead, focus on healing and moving forward so that you can get through it.
Texting your ex can slow down the healing process and even set it in reverse. Whether you broke up with them or were the one broken up with, you should avoid sending that text.
If you find that you want to text your ex, there are many excellent reasons not to. It won’t be beneficial for you and could interfere with your well-being and sense of self-worth. When you feel the temptation, read these reasons not to text them, and you will feel better.
Thirteen Reasons Never to Text Your Ex
Breakups hurt. You only drag out the pain when you text your ex.
If you text your ex, even if you say it’s to get closure, you will be preventing yourself from moving forward. Sometimes, it is best to let things be and never speak the final words you wanted to. Each time you reach out to them or text them back, you are slowing the process down.
Stop torturing yourself in this way, and give yourself a chance to get over your ex. If you want to heal from your emotional pain, you must resist the temptation to text your ex.
2. You Lose Your Sense of Self-Worth and Devalue Yourself
No one is perfect, but your imperfections don’t mean that you aren’t worthy or valuable. You are good enough the way you are right now, and anyone would be lucky to have you. When you send a text message to your ex, you risk losing your self-worth and devalue yourself.
Not only do you devalue yourself in your own eyes, but you devalue yourself in your ex’s eyes, too. If they think you are always thinking of them, they won’t see you as the valuable person that you are. So, even if you are thinking of them, they will value you more if you don’t text them.
3. Your Ex Won’t Be as Attracted to You
While your appearance may not have changed, texting your ex can make you seem less appealing. If they don’t want to talk to you, they will become annoyed, angry, or think you are desperate.
When this happens, they will begin to find you less attractive than they used to. The decreased attraction is often due to psychological reasons, and the more you reach out, the worse it becomes.
4. If They Want to Talk, They Will Let You Know
If you are tempted to text your ex, remind yourself that they could reach out to you if they wanted to talk. You are worthy of someone who wants to talk and who reaches out to you, too. Don’t waste your time or thoughts on someone who isn’t making you a priority.
5. You Will Feed Their Ego and Give Them Unrequited Satisfaction
Without communication, your ex will have no idea if you are over them or not. When you reach out to your ex, they will know you aren’t over it, and it will feed their ego. Plus, it makes your ex feel like they have the upper hand in the situation.
Even if you don’t want them back, reaching out to them will make them think you do. If you are the one who ended the relationship, your ex might think you regret your decision. On the other hand, if you were dumped, they will think you are pining over them.
Another thing to consider is that they might think they are the best you can do. Since you still want to talk, your ex will further feed their ego with the idea that you can’t do any better. You know you can, so don’t give your ex that satisfaction.
No matter what your ex thinks when you reach out, this is something you don’t want to fuel. It will only boost your ex’s ego and leave you feeling a lack of self-worth.
6. It Isn’t Worth It
This simple reason to never send your ex a text is incredibly accurate. While you may feel good as you send the message and maybe even afterward if you get a response, it isn’t worth it.
Each time you text them, you undo the progress you have made toward getting through the pain. It also intensifies the pain you feel once the conversation is over. Texting your ex is never worth holding up the healing process, as it is already hard enough.
Even if you get answers from your ex about things you were wondering, it still isn’t worth it. If they answer your questions, you still can’t solve the problems or undo the pain that has already happened. Your questions are better off left unanswered.
Think about what you are expecting from contacting them. Whatever it is you are expecting might not happen. Even if it goes well initially, the old issues are bound to come back up and result in another fight or break up.
Chances are, though, that reaching out won’t even fix things right now. You could end up extremely disappointed or even hurt more than you already were. When you send a text to your ex, your expectations are bound to be much higher than they should be.
8. It Could Make You Look Desperate
If you text your ex, they will assume you want to get back together. Even if you don’t say that you want to, that is the message you will send if you reach out to your ex. It comes across as desperate to a person who is looking for flaws, imperfections, or weaknesses in others.
It is important to note that even if you want to get back with your ex, you should avoid looking desperate. Consider waiting for your ex to reach out to you because doing it any sooner could cause you to look weak in their eyes.
9. You Could Be Ruining Potential Relationships or Dates
When you constantly wonder what your ex is doing or try to reach out to them, you miss other opportunities. You won’t be as open to going on a date with someone else, and if you do go on dates, you won’t be fully present.
Resist the urge to text your ex so that you can be open to new relationships or dating. Each time you text them, you are getting further away from other potential relationships. Avoid this backtracking by refraining from sending that message.
10. It Could Be Detrimental to Your Well-Being
Acknowledge that you are better off without that person in your life, especially if the relationship was toxic. You can be happier and more at peace now that they aren’t in your life. Texting them will only cause things to become toxic again, and you don’t need that in your life.
11. It Could Hurt Them
If you are the one who ended the relationship, it could hurt the other person if you texted them. There is no need to do any more damage than necessary, so resist the urge. If you want to contact them, make sure you spend time thinking about it and acknowledging your intentions.
When the other person still wants to be with you, make sure you only reach out if you want to reconcile. Anything else will only make them feel worse.
12. They Might Take Advantage of Your Feelings
If you were the one who was broken up with, reaching out could make you vulnerable. Your ex might tell you what you want to hear and then hurt you all over again.
When it happens a second time, it might hurt even worse. Plus, as explained before, it causes your ex to think you aren’t as valuable and don’t need to be respected. You deserve to be treated well by your partner, so avoid texting them to spare yourself unnecessary pain.
13. You Deserve More
Most importantly, you should never send a text to your ex because you deserve more than that. You deserve and will find someone who treats you much better and makes you happier. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t want to spend time with you or share life experiences with you.