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10 Habits of Women Who Lose Weight (And Keep It Off)

June 14, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you feel pangs of jealousy when you read an article or see a blog about women who lose weight and keep it off? It’s only normal to be a bit envious when someone conquers a problem you fight. It’s not easy to lose weight, but it seems effortless to pack on the pounds.

Why do women seem to have such an issue with weight gain? Well, for starters, you have hormone fluctuations that cause bloating. Second, you retain water at certain times during the month, and then there are the lovely things that childbirth does to your body.

Add to this that there are fast-food restaurants on every corner and ice cream and donut shops aplenty, and it’s a recipe for disaster. What makes these women who lose weight so much stronger than you? Do they have some internal mindset that drives them, or do they have strong willpower to resist temptation?

If you lined up several successful women in the battle of the bulge, you would start to see some similarities. There are certain things that you do and habits you develop that ensure you will lose weight and keep it off.

Ten Daily Habits of Ladies Who Lose Weight for Good

According to Ace Fitness, there are many reasons why some people are more successful in their weight loss journey than others. For instance, one person may have a different amount of muscle mass that affects their metabolism. Another factor can be starting weight.

When a person tends to be in the obese or super obese category, it can be easier for them to lose weight than ten vanity pounds. Lastly, the mindset in these people is much different. They have a definitive goal before them, and they won’t let anyone stop them. Here are ten habits of women who lose weight with ease that you should adapt.

1. They Become Determined

It’s often been said that weight loss first begins in the brain. If you don’t have your mindset geared towards success, then you won’t go far in your journey. Your words hold power over you, so the things you speak about should be positive and uplifting.

Doing daily positive affirmations is a good place to start. Tell yourself that you will stick to a low-calorie diet; you will not buy any more junk food, limiting your carbs and high fatty items. When you start each day with morning affirmations, it sets you up for success.

2. They Keep A Food Diary

Journaling is an essential part of a mentally well-balanced person. It’s a space for you to get out all the angst you feel inside. One way that women who lose weight succeed is by keeping a journal of their food intake.

You can keep this diary through an app on your smartphone or use the old-fashioned pen and paper method. The goal is to ensure that you take account of every bite that you put into your mouth. Also, keeping a diary about your thoughts and feelings during this process is likewise essential.

Who knows, you may end up having a bestselling book on your hands that can inspire others to fight the battle of the bulge.

3. They Meal Plan

Living a healthy lifestyle takes some work. Sure, it’s easy to stop at the fast-food restaurant down the road and grab a burger and fries for dinner, but it’s not the healthiest option. Someone determined to lose weight will plan, shop for the freshest produce, and be prepared for the week.

It takes a bit more time and effort to have your meals planned out, and lunches packed, but it’s worth it. While it costs more to eat healthily, you may find that with the reduction in your consumption, you save money anyway.

4. They Know They Will Have Bad Days

Part of having a good mindset realizes that you’re not going to be perfect. There will be days that you stumble and have that big slice of chocolate cake. The difference between someone successful in their weight loss journey versus someone who isn’t is the ability to keep going after failure.

Oprah Winfrey has achieved monumental success with weight loss. Her journey has been ongoing for more than 40 years. Her highest weight was 237 lbs, but now she is a trim size ten and isn’t looking back.

Even with all her money and prestige, Oprah still goes up and down with her weight. However, 10-20 lbs. weight differences for someone who was once pushing the mid-200 range is a significant achievement. Why is Oprah so successful? Even when she gains a little bit because she’s fallen off the wagon, she gets right back on and continues her journey.

5. They Set Small Obtainable Goals

Assume you have 100 pounds to lose. It seems like an overwhelming amount to consider, and it might be too much for your mind to comprehend. However, if you break that down into smaller, more manageable goals, it’s easier to succeed.

Set your goals at losing ten pounds rather than 50. When you hit that ten-pound mark, then you should celebrate in some small way. When you hit larger goals like 25 or even 50 lbs., your celebrations should be grander.

It’s all about stroking those pleasure centers within the brain that give you the boost you need to keep going. The child inside you likes to be rewarded, so give them what they want to keep your mojo going.

6. They Get Help

If you have a serious problem with your weight, you must realize that you may need help. There are many natural ways that you can get the guidance you need without going under the knife. Things like weight loss hypnosis have proven to be effective as a tool to help you.

Other things that work include psychotherapy, joining support groups, and having an accountability partner may also be beneficial. You must understand that this is a big job, and oversized tasks require more than one person to help.

7. They Drink Plenty of Water

One thing that women who lose weight know are that their water intake is crucial. According to the Mayo Clinic, your body is 50-70 percent water weight. Your system uses water to help function, and without the proper levels, you will die.

Water helps flush toxins and fat from your body, so you need to increase your water intake rather than decrease it when you’re dieting. Forget diet sodas, coffee, and juice as these have water in them, but they don’t have the same benefits as pure H2O.

8. They Know They Need Carbs

While the Keto Diet is popular because it makes people lose weight quickly, but smart women know they need some carbs. If you cut yourself off from all carbs cold turkey, you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s okay to have a donut on occasion, but you need to work it into your daily caloric intake.

Women who lose weight know that it’s all about keeping a well-rounded diet full of fruits and vegetables and healthy complex carbs.

9. They Hit the Gym

Regardless of where you are in your weight loss journey, you need to move your body more. Exercise is beneficial for your mental and physical health, and it should be a regular part of your week. Strive to hit the gym or do a workout at home at least three times a week for about 20 minutes at a time.

10. They Ditch the Diet Mentality

Finally, women who lose weight know that diets don’t work. Instead, they must make adaptable lifestyle changes that will go with them for life. Achieving weight loss is a journey and not a destination you will ever arrive at.

While you may get to your goal weight, like Oprah, you will need to maintain that weight. There will be times when you gain a bit and need to cut back even more. This journey will be ongoing and one of the hardest of your life, but you can do it.

Final Thoughts on Women Who Lose Weight

A recent Gallup Poll showed that 56 percent of Americans want to lose weight. Sadly, more than half of today’s society is not happy with their body and the way they look. The good news is that you can do something about it.

You can make some changes and develop new habits starting today that will change your life. You can have the amazing body you want and be healthy without taking invasive steps to accomplish this. First, make up your mind that you will conquer this weight.

Next, keep a journal, meal prep, and stay away from fast food. Last, get some support and help along this journey, as it seems to consume you if you let it. Surrounding yourself with women who have been successful in weight loss can only encourage you.

3 Reasons Why Rejection Hurts (And How to Cope With It)

June 13, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Being rejected hurts! It can be devastating, or it can just sting, but the bottom line is that it’s painful. For some, being rejected can cause severe emotional reactions to the point of disrupting everyday life and damaged self-worth.

If you’ve recently faced rejection, you’re probably still dealing with some feelings related to that situation. But why does it sting so badly, and how can you get through it? Here are three reasons why rejection hurts and ways to cope with it in three methods.

Three Reasons Why Rejection Hurts

Here are the causes of that emotional pain.

1. It Triggers Genuine Pain Responses

On the surface, why does rejection hurt? Well, that’s because it’s meant to. The human mind and body naturally react in this manner to rejection. Here’s why and how:

· It’s a Physical Pain

Brain scans in studies have shown that when you experience rejection, the part of your brain that lights up is the same as activated when you feel physical pain. In other words, the reason that rejection hurts on a physical level, simply put, is because the brain feels it as physical pain!

· It’s Social Pain, Which Is More Vivid

Social pain is a different kind of pain than generic emotional pain, and rejection is a type of social pain. When you recall physical pain, your memories become less vivid and severe over time, leaving behind a mere conceptualization of the pain. But with social pain, your memory of it only becomes stronger and more vivid, meaning that you can re-experience rejection exaggeratedly even long after you’ve moved past it, even when put through a filter of positive thinking.

· It’s an Emotional Pain On A Deeper Level

Many people naturally feel a need to “belong” to a group of people or a social circle, which means that rejection hurts on a deep level. This feeling is a behavior rooted in human evolution. In ancient times, there was power in numbers, and being disconnected or rejected from a group of people could mean you wouldn’t be able to survive on your own.

· It Is Aggression, Turned Inwards

Rejection can indeed cause outward-turned aggression that makes you want to lash out at others, but that isn’t necessarily the case, and most of the time, that kind of aggression will be directed internally. You may become angry at yourself, which worsens emotional pain because even you are mad at yourself. The American Psychological Association explains that even mild rejections can lead to heightened levels of aggression, based on previous research.

2. It Is Unreasonable

Rejection’s ensuing emotions, by nature, are not inherently wise. They are unreasonable and will not be an accurate reflection of reality in any way, shape, or form. This is because rejection causes these outcomes:

Temporarily reduces your IQ levels
It worsens your short-term memory
Makes it hard to solve problems
Cannot respond to any reason
It does not create logical emotions

What does this mean? Well, essentially, rejection hurts because it isn’t something you can reason with. Your emotions following rejection are always going to be irrational, which can make comprehending those feelings so much harder.

3. It Turns You Against Yourself

You are your own worst enemy. You are armed with all the knowledge of your worst moments, your biggest failures, and all of your flaws. And when you are on the receiving end of rejection, you feel inadequate – and you are the only one who truly knows how to push your buttons.

You know your genuine flaws, and you know your insecurities off the top of your head. And when rejection hits you, you can use every single bit of knowledge you have about yourself to destroy your self-esteem. You become filled with self-loathing, and you think about all the reasons you weren’t good enough to be accepted. You blame yourself, you point out the ways you weren’t sufficient, and you beat yourself up. No wonder rejection hurts!

Three Ways To Cope With Rejection

How do you overcome these negative feelings? Try these things.

1. Acknowledge The Inner Turmoil

To cope with something, you have to acknowledge that it exists. Some people falsely believe that the best way to manage a problematic emotion is by pretending it’s not there, but that’s primarily counterproductive. This is even more true for feelings like those stemming from rejection, which is easy to dismiss as “irrational” even though they’re perfectly reasonable and valid. Here are some ways you’ll need to acknowledge the turmoil from rejection:

· Allow Yourself To Feel

It’s tempting to repress your emotions when you’re feeling the painful string of rejection. But studies show that emotional repression will only make the emotions in question stronger, so don’t bottle up those feelings, even if it’s hard. It would help if you experienced the full sweep of your emotions to allow yourself to process them and let them pass naturally. So create space for yourself to experience the emotions involved with rejection.

· Acknowledge Your Emotions

Now that you’re allowing the feelings to sweep over you, it’s time to acknowledge and pay attention to them. Trying to ignore how you’re feeling is just repression again! You don’t have to react to what you think – be an observer, like a witness on the outside looking in. Look carefully at how you feel and allow your mental strength to fill you with the ability to tackle the discomfort and pain face-first. Don’t invalidate, minimize, maximize or catastrophize – watch and acknowledge them as they are.

· Let Yourself Grieve, If Applicable

Not all forms of rejection involve the necessity of grieving, but more severe forms can be so painful that you do experience grief. This may be from losing out on a vast promotion you wanted, receiving a scathing rejection from a potential employer, or even from being rejected by a partner or romantic interest. It is okay to need a while to process the loss that stems from the rejection and goes through all the stages of grief in the process.

Trying to resist will only prolong the process, so allow yourself a day or two to fully grieve before you start to pick yourself up again. As time passes, the grief will lessen, and you’ll be on your way to acceptance and recovery. If you need to, you can cry, go to therapy, write in a journal, and even say goodbye to what was lost in your unique way.

2. Be Kind To Yourself

Rejection can fill you with self-loathing. After all, you’ve been turned away, as if you weren’t good enough, and it’s tough not to see things that way. But to cope with the complex emotions of rejection, you need to be kind to yourself first. Without the necessary positive thinking, all the harsh thoughts that surround rejection can worsen. Here are some tips for being kind to yourself so you can better cope with rejection:

· Remember Your Positive Traits

In the heat of the self-loathing that can spawn from rejection, you may have forgotten a lot of good things about yourself. Resist those negative thoughts by actively listing the things you like about yourself. You can even write them down in a list if that will help!

· Do Not Allow Self-Criticism

Self-criticism is entirely unhelpful as you cope with rejection. Do not tolerate personal negativity for even a second. It would help if you were on your side to manage your current emotions best. The second you think something negative about yourself, counter it with positive thinking, respond with values you like about yourself and compassion. It can be helpful to treat yourself as you would treat a friend in this situation, as we are often harshest on ourselves.

· Don’t Blame Yourself

There are tons of different factors that could have caused a rejection, and a lot of them aren’t things you should take the blame for. Rejection isn’t a reflection of your value, nor is it a sign that you’re doing something “wrong.” There are situations where rejection may have stemmed from some of your actions, but even then, blaming yourself while you try to cope is not going to be helpful. Taking responsibility does not involve blaming yourself and beating yourself up, especially since the rejection has already “righted” the worst of any wrong you may have done!

· Use Self-Care

Self-care should be a part of your routine, but as you try to cope with rejection, it’s even more critical. Ensure you eat enough, sleep enough, and even get a little bit of exercise if possible. Don’t forget to treat yourself, give yourself some me-time to unwind, and indulge in your favorite things and hobbies, too.

3. Grow From Rejection

Sometimes, the best way to cope with negative emotions – including those stemming from rejection – is by moving forward with positive thinking. That’s easier said than done, but one of the most transparent ways to do this is by finding ways to improve from experience actively. By taking growth into your hands, you’ll find your footing and control again so you can leave the rejection behind. Here is how to do so:

· Learn From The Rejection

Instead of feeling powerless in the face of rejection, take the reins in the one way you can. Find the lesson in the rejection and learn it. What did you gain from experience? What lessons did you learn? How can you improve your chances of future acceptance in similar circumstances? Did you genuinely desire what you sought here? The wisdom you can gain from here can be empowering and help you cope positively!

· View It As Proof Of Your Efforts

Rejection only happens when you make an effort and try to be accepted. When you’re rejected, think of it as a sign that you’re moving forward in your life and are pushing the limits. You weren’t sufficiently prepared this time? Well, that means that you impressively challenged yourself! Take the strength from that knowledge and move forward.

· Don’t Let It Define You

Rejection is a single event, and it’s not meant to define your future beyond the current moment. It is also not a representation of you or who you are as a person. Don’t fall into the trap of making a lot of generalizations about yourself based on rejection. You aren’t incompetent because you didn’t get a job, you’re not unloveable because you were turned down for a date, and you aren’t unworthy because you were rejected. Keep things in a healthy perspective.

Final Thoughts On Why Rejection Hurts And How To Cope With It

Rejection is, sadly, a compulsory part of life. No one will be able to live a full life without also facing rejection now and then. Understanding its mechanisms and learning to cope with it will allow you to manage emotions from such a situation positively.

Say These 20 Romantic Statements Every Day to Keep Your Love Alive

June 13, 2022 by Chris Butler

They say that some folks go together like a sock and shoe. Well, since you’ve owned several pairs of shoes, you know that they can become worn out quite easily. To keep them fresh, you must clean and maintain them.

Your relationship requires maintenance, too. By using romantic statements, you can help keep the fires of passion and love burning bright. Plus, just because you’ve been married or together for several years doesn’t change your feelings.

However, they will evolve as you’ve been together for a while. When you don’t show your partner how much you love them each day, you allow room for doubt to creep in. Additionally, they may look for someone else to say everything they long to hear from you.

Twenty Romantic Statements To Say to Your Partner Each Day

If you don’t know where to start your journey of being more engaged with your partner, saying romantic things to one another is the best place to start. Here are some of the things that your lover wants to hear from you every day. You can start small. Try sharing two or three of these romantic statements to start with. Also, be sure to choose or modify phrases that you can say naturally and with genuine feelings.

1. “I Love You.”

It’s these three simple words that have such a powerful meaning. One of the basic needs in life is to love and be loved in return. Telling someone that you love them solidifies this need is being met.

2. “You’re Beautiful.”

When’s the last time you told your significant other that they were beautiful or handsome? While you may think such thoughts, they need to hear them from you. As a partner, you can help build your lover’s esteem by telling them how stunning they are, so use romantic statements like these often.

3. “You Look Amazing.”

If your lover has a new outfit on or tried a new hairstyle, make sure you tell them how amazing they look. Be sure to notice the little things as they show how in tune you are with one another. They long for people to see the changes they’ve made, but you’re the only one that matters to them.

4. “You Smell Wonderful.”

It would help if you commented on how amazing they smell. Is it a new fragrance, a lotion, or some aftershave that turns your crank? Tell them their fragrance intoxicates you and that it’s a good scent for them.

5. “You Make Me Smile.”

One of the best things a couple can do for one another is make them smile. Life can be very challenging at times, but knowing you have solace in one another is priceless.

6. “I Miss You.”

Drop your special someone a quick text while you’re at work to let them know how much you miss them. Make dinner plans that evening, and let them know you won’t relax until you’re curled up with them enjoying the nighttime.

7. “No One Will Ever Take Your Place.”

Now and again, it’s nice to hear how special you are to the one you love. Telling your lover that no one will ever take their place gives them a firm indication of where they are in your heart. Sure, you might have told them 100 times you love them, but making a statement like this shows the depth of your love and dedication.

8. “Nothing Else Matters but Us Together.”

The world around you can erupt in chaos, but as long as you have your partner by your side, then you can make it. Let them know that having you with them would make you feel safe if the world ended tomorrow.

9. “How Did I Ever Get So Lucky?”

Treat your special someone like a prize you’ve won, and watch how much better they treat you. You want your lover to feel special and that you’ve hit the jackpot when you want their heart.

10. “You’re the Love of My Life.”

There will be many loves that pass your way in life. According to Thought Catalog, the average person will fall in love between 2-7 times in their lifetime. Since love is an emotion that can be felt by anyone, it’s important to let someone know that they’re the love of your life.

This statement elevates them beyond the other loves you’ve experienced, putting them in the top ranking.

11. “Come Home Soon!”

Romantic statements telling them to come home soon show how eager you are to see them. Text them this message on your lunch break to let them know you can’t wait to be together again. It also adds some anticipation that can help them through a hard day at work.

12. “I’m So Happy”

One of your main goals as one side of a couple is to make the other party happy. You must tell the other person how happy they make you. The last thing you want is a union where one or both of you are miserable.

Happiness doesn’t mean you can’t have a bad day, but it means that being with this person completes you overall.

13. “All I Want To Do Is Lay Here in Your Arms.”

Do you feel safe when you’re lying in their arms? Why not tell them how much their embrace means to you? There’s something special about lying in the arms of the one you love, and you need to tell them how wonderful it feels to you.

14. “I Feel Completely Comfortable With You.”

You want to be with someone with whom you can share your deepest and darkest secrets. When you find your person, you feel that you can be completely comfortable with them in almost any situation. They’re the one that completes you in all ways, and you feel 100 percent free to be yourself.

15. “Can I Have This Dance?”

Romantic statements like “Can I have this dance?” will indeed send their hearts racing. Why not have an impromptu dance across the kitchen floor while waiting on dinner? These small moments create memories and give your heart warm and fuzzy feelings.

16. “I Trust You.”

Speaking of deep and dark secrets, when you feel like you can share these sentiments with someone you love, then you’re developing a deep level of trust. Sure, you trust people like your mom, dad, siblings, and other relatives, but this level of trust goes far beyond average.

17. “You’re My Everything.”

Some loves are so profound that they give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Perhaps your partner saved you from depression and overwhelming anxiety by showing you a different way to live.

Tell them how much they mean to you by telling them they’re your everything. They need to know more than the fact that you love them, as they need to know why you do.

18. “I Can’t Live With You.”

Romantic statements like I can’t live without you show them the depth of your connection. Would you want to go one hour, day, week, or month without them by your side? Now, you have to go to work and handle other responsibilities, but knowing that they’re with you no matter what you must take care of is essential.

19. “I Need You.”

Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D. wrote an article on why you should tell your partner you need them. When you’re an indispensable part of each other’s lives, it’s a classic component of an attachment. Telling this person that you need them by your side through all the ups and downs of life shows them you’ve developed a healthy attachment to them.

20. “I Get Lost in Your Eyes.”

Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and been mesmerized by what you see? Perhaps, you see future children, the home with the white picket fence, and growing old together. Whatever you see when you look into their eyes, it’s impossible to keep from being lost in their beauty.

Tell your partner what you see when you look at them, and share your dreams and plans. They may share the things they see when they look in your eyes too.

Final Thoughts on Sharing Some of These Romantic Statements to Your Partner Every Day

There are so many things that you have to say to each other in a day. You’re worried about work, dinner, getting the kids to and from sports practices or dance recitals. However, the essential things you can say to your partner are romantic statements that solidify your bond.

Use the list above and pick out a couple of statements to tell them daily. Try not to overdo it and make it sound planned, but you must bring these things to them regularly. The more work and effort you put into your relationship, the better it will be. Communication can make or break your connection, so choose your words wisely.

15 Ways to Make Someone Smile Instantly

June 13, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Life has many ups and downs, but the ability to make someone smile is a gift that anyone will cherish. How many times have you had a bad day, but something changed your whole mood because it made you smile? If someone you know or love is having a difficult time, you want to cheer them up however you can.

Fifteen Easy Ways To Make Someone Smile

Some folks have a knack for making people feel better when they’re going through a time of grief or they’re just feeling down. Here are some fantastic ways to help make someone smile with ease.

1. Tell a Joke

Most folks like a good joke, even if it’s silly and doesn’t make much sense. Jokes can make you laugh, and it sure helps boost your spirits when things are down. If your friend or loved one needs to smile, telling them a riddle, pun, or joke is a viable solution.

2. Put a Note in Their Lunch Bag, Briefcase, or Purse

The little things in life count, so putting a note in a conspicuous place might do the trick. When they open their lunchbox, purse, or briefcase and find that you went out of your way to handwrite a note, it can make their day. Indeed, they will smile at the kindness of your gesture.

3. Send Flowers to Make Someone Smile

Flowers were often thought of as just a gift for females, but men love to get flowers. While they might prefer some more woodsy pieces, flower shops can certainly provide gender-neutral arrangements. Flowers can brighten any space, and the surprise of receiving such a gift won’t go unnoticed.

4. Spend Quality Time With Them

Sometimes people don’t need expensive gifts, or you’re trying too hard to make them smile. Perhaps the one thing they need more than anything is for you to be there for them.

When someone is going through a challenging time, knowing you’re standing right beside them may be all it takes to make them smile and feel a sense of peace.

5. Have Movie or Game Night

Throw out the electronics and bring on the board games! Yes, some of the old-fashioned board games are still the best way to have a night of fun. If you want to make someone smile, then why not show them how to win at a hand of Monopoly, Clue, or Battleship.

With a little bit of creative thinking, you will think of so many amazing games out there that will surely make everyone smile.

6. Bake a Sweet Treat to Make Someone Smile

Who doesn’t like some freshly baked goodies or something made from your kitchen? Baked goods tend to show how much you care, as they require real-time and effort to create. If you know whether they prefer brownies, pies, cakes, or some other yummy treat, it makes it easier to make them happy with a homemade delight.

7. Send an Inspirational Message

Sending an inspirational message is always a good idea. The Universe has a way of giving you the right things to say when they need it most. You can send them a message on social media, a text, or even an email.

8. An Easy Way to Make Someone Smile–Hug Them

Did you know that your embrace has healing properties? It sounds crazy, but according to the National Library of Medicine, hugging someone helps release the “feel good” hormones like oxytocin.

In fact, the same site reports that therapeutic touch is being explored for helping people recover from a significant illness. So, why not hug someone you love that needs a little boost in their mood?

9. Buy a “Just Because” Gift

Do you need an occasion to buy someone a gift? You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars or buy something significant. Remember, it truly is the thought that counts and they will appreciate the gesture.

10. Tell Them You’re Proud of Them

Life isn’t always kind, and sometimes you need to hear that you’re doing good. Many folks seek validation from their parents, friends, and other relatives. So, by you going out of your way to tell someone how proud you are of them and their accomplishments, it’s just enough to make them smile.

11. Encourage Someone Who Is Bummed Out

There are 101 ways that you can encourage someone who’s fallen on hard times. However, find some way to lift the spirits of someone who’s bummed out. Maybe you give them a lovely card and leave it on their desk at work, or perhaps you buy them a cup of coffee to start their day.

Think outside the box a bit and come up with something to lift the spirits of someone who’s having it rough.

12. Say “I’m Sorry.”

Perhaps one of the reasons why this person is so upset is because you did something to anger or hurt them. Saying the words “I’m sorry” has powerful effects. If you were in the wrong, then you need to own your mistakes and make things right. Indeed, apologizing can make someone grin.

13. Smile at Them

Did you know that smiles are infectious? Trends in Cognitive Science posted a study conducted on how smiling was contagious. Try smiling at someone and see how long it takes them to smile back?

The study proved that your brain would mimic what it sees and perceives, which can also pick up on negativity. However, when feeling down and out, smile at them and watch the magic happen.

14. Give Them a Kiss

If the person is someone you love deeply, your embrace and a kiss can be very comforting to them. How can you not smile when someone passionately kisses you? If it’s not your romantic partner, a kiss on the cheek is very appropriate in many situations, and it’s a commonplace in countries like France.

So, pucker up; it could be just what your friend or loved one needs to smile.

15. Give a Huge Tip at Your Favorite Eatery

Okay, so this one might be a bit random, but leaving a big tip can sure make your waitstaff’s day. According to Zip Recruiter, being a server isn’t a lucrative career. Some can earn as low as $6.97 an hour with tips. It all depends on the restaurant, the crowd, and how many hours they get.

In states like Ohio, the minimum wage for wait staff is a mere $3.65 an hour, according to Pocket Sense. So, if you want to make someone smile who’s got the challenging job of waiting tables, give them an extra tip. If they’ve done an excellent job serving you, then they should be rewarded. Also, think of all the people who don’t tip at all or leave very little.

Eight Things Not To Do To Cheer Someone Up

Now that you know all the things that you should do to make someone smile, there are a few things you should try to avoid. Here are some things that can be offensive or of little help to someone down on their luck.

Telling them to cheer up
Stating that you know what they’re going through
Expecting them to snap out of it when they’ve had a significant blow
Acting as if nothing happened or ignoring the obvious
Asking for detail about a situation that they don’t want to talk about
Analyzing the situation
Judging them or others involved
Taking sides in a family dispute

It’s so easy to try to interject into the middle of a problem, but your advice may be unwarranted. Only give advice when someone asks for it, or you could make matters much worse. Sometimes people don’t need you to judge them, ask questions, or form your own opinions, as they want you to be there.

If you want to make someone smile, avoid anything considered aggressive or offensive to a hurting heart. In many instances, people have bad days for no good reason, so they need a smile to help boost their mood and nothing else.

Final Thoughts on How To Make Someone Smile

Everyone deals with grief in their way. Sadly, there is not one thing that will make everyone smile, so you might need to get a bit creative. If someone has gone through a significant tragedy, then you might not be able to cheer them up with a small act, as it might take some time to work through things. Never underestimate the power of just being with someone as they go through a rough time.

Sometimes the most supportive thing to do is be there. Being a positive force in someone’s life helps to contribute to the good of the world around you, and the Universe will repay your kindness when it’s your turn to go through troubles.

Dog Enjoys the Company of His Dolphin Buddies

June 13, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

One dog named Zyzz shares a very special friendship with his dolphin buddies. One of the dolphins named Jojo regularly swims with Zyzz when he and his owner go boating. It’s such an amazing sight to see, and his dad makes sure to capture it all on camera! Since dolphins are such friendly, curious creatures, it’s no surprise that they get so close to Zyzz.

Zyzz lives with his loving owners, Mark and Megan, in the beautiful Turks & Caicos islands. The islands are located southeast of the Bahamas and just north of the Dominican Republic. These islands boast the third largest coral reef in the world and are home to abundant marine life. You’ll find everything from baby turtles to humpback whales to dolphins like Jojo swimming in the breathtaking turquoise waters.

Zyzz is a pretty lucky dog if you ask us. He lives in a tropical paradise, for one, and gets to explore it almost everyday. His dad Mark owns a company called Wake to Wake Watersports, so he’s out on the water often. He takes Zyzz along for the ride most of the time since they’re the best of buddies. One day while out on the boat, they both got the surprise of a lifetime.

“I think we just went out one day with Zyzz on the water just to kind of do a little promotional shoot. Zyzz was on the boat, we saw the dolphins,” Mark explained. “The dolphins tend to come to our boats anyway because they kick up quite a big wave for wakesurfing.”

“They kind of scout out our boat, they came right up and Zyzz saw this huge black object in the water. [He] just got really excited, jumped straight in, no self-preservation whatsoever, jumped straight in.”

What’s really special about Zyzz and the dolphins is that Mark didn’t teach him to jump in the water. He didn’t need any coaxing whatsoever; he just took the plunge all on his own.

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Zyzz and Jojo Have an Unusual, Yet Beautiful Relationship

Dogs are also curious animals, like dolphins, so Zyzz couldn’t resist getting a closer look. Now, Jojo and his family come out to play anytime Zyzz is around.

Mark says that Jojo actually seems more friendly with humans than he is with other dolphins! When he’s in the mood to play, he will swim near the boat and slap his tail on the water. That’s his way of initiating contact with his human and dog friends. Mark had known about Jojo for a while and played with him often. However, he’d never seen Jojo with Zyzz until that unusual day on the boat.

Mark explained that he and the crew (including Jojo) were floating in the boat when the dolphins surfaced. They came near the boat as if to say “hi” as they usually did. However, Zyzz went crazy with excitement and decided to dive right in the water! All he could see was a dark object under the surface, but that didn’t scare him. He must have sensed that the creatures were friendly and wanted to get a better view.

Once Zyzz jumped in, the dolphins immediately started playing with him. While Zyzz swam on the surface, the dolphins circled around underneath him. While the dog and his new friend played together, Mark and the crew watched in amazement. They didn’t even jump in with him because they were just in awe of the spectacle.

It’s almost as if Zyzz feeds off the dolphins’ energy and can sense when they’re nearby. Mark says he will even dip his head underwater sometimes to get a better look! It’s amazing to see two totally different animals interacting and enjoying each others’ company. They seem to get a kick out of swimming and playing together in the beautiful waters of Turks & Caicos.

Jojo will even splash Zyzz with his fin sometimes, in a playful way of course. Zyzz usually circles around above the dolphins, and they occasionally play chase together. Who would’ve thought that a dolphin and a dog could become best friends?! It’s a simple, yet beautiful reminder that we can all get along, despite our differences.

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More about Zyzz and his Owner Mark

“Zyzz is 8 now. He has been with me ever since I was at university. I’ve had dogs my whole entire life and I went to university, basically really, really missed having a dog greeting me everyday in the house,” Mark said. “So I ended up persuading my housemates at university when we were in second year to get a little puppy.”

“The way I persuaded them in the end was actually it would be a really good way of getting girls to come back to our place,” Mark said jokingly. “He is just a little bundle of joy, he’s always happy. He is always stoked on absolutely everything. Having to take him on the beach and everything is just wonderful.”

“Most of the time spent with him is just cuddling, beach walks, as much as possible getting out on the water. That’s his favorite pastime, is just boat days. Any time spent in the water is a good day for Zyzz. Meeting the dolphins is a bonus, but definitely any water time, boat activities are the best. He sits right on the bow of the boat as we’re driving, wind flapping in his ears, just absolutely loving life.”

Final Thoughts: Dolphins seem to make friends with everyone, including dogs!

Dolphins are naturally friendly, playful creatures, so it’s not too surprising that they seem to love dogs. Zyzz gets to enjoy the company of his best dolphin buddy Jojo whenever he’s out on the water. They play chase, circle around each other and just swim together in the crystal clear ocean. Zyzz’s owner Mark sometimes swims with them, but is just as content to watch their interaction from the boat.

It’s truly heartwarming to see such different creatures get along so well. There’s an important message in this story, that we’re all more alike than we think. We may look different on the surface, but love is what holds everything in nature together. And sometimes, it’s a dog and dolphin that will remind you of that simple truth.

10 Positive Changes Might Happen if You Quit Social Media

June 12, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Have you considered what could happen if you quit social media?

The internet is a great way to stay in touch with friends and family both near and far. According to Small Biz Trends, the first social media site was Six Degrees, and it was created in 1997. There are more than one hundred different sites, but Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok with the best ways to get TikTok likes remain the most popular.

How much time do you spend each day surfing these sites? Can you quit social media, or has it become an addiction? It’s important to monitor how much you devote to these media apps as they can be time-consuming.

Addictions come in all shapes and sizes, and trading one for another will not get you anywhere. Everyone has their vices or the things that help them get through the day, but social media can quickly dominate your life. Do you check your wall the minute you wake up, or did you hurry to Tweet about how terrible your morning was today?

Do you stay up late at night scrolling newsfeeds and seeing what everyone is into? Perhaps, you’ve become an influencer and use social media to make money. While there are some good things about staying connected, there are also some bad things to consider.

What Happens When You Quit Social Media?

While it’s hard to break the tie that binds, many positive things will happen when you quit social media. Now, it’s not easy to do, and it’s not going to happen overnight. However, some positive things will occur when you limit or kick social channels to the curb.

1. Your Sleep Will Improve

How many nights do you stay up way past your bedtime so you can watch videos or scroll social media? According to Review 22, the average person in this country spends two hours and 22 minutes on social media each day. Now, think if you got two more hours of sleep each night?

When you quit social media, you will be forced to read a good book, talk to your partner, or close your eyes and go to sleep. Plus, the rattling news and drama from these media outlets won’t ruminate in your mind either.

2. You’ll Get More Work Done if You Quit Social Media

You already know that social media is a significant time waster. When you have phones buzzing and ringing constantly, the urge to pick them up is excellent. When you keep stopping every five minutes to see who posted what, you’re going to be slow to get anything done.

While multitasking was once thought of as a great way to get things done, the American Psychological Association now says that constantly shifting back and forth can be bad for your brain health. Social media can reduce your productivity by up to 40 percent, so think of what you can get done with all this extra time.

3. Stress Levels Might Decrease

Social outlets have many good aspects, but some things you read on the internet are disturbing. Maybe you’ve been down on your luck, but when you’re watching everyone else post their best moments, it can affect your mood. Plus, you cannot forget about the arguments and interactions that aren’t so pleasant that cause stress.

If you quit social media, you will be amazed at how your stress levels decrease. What would life be like with no more message alerts every time someone posts what they ate for dinner?

4. Your Creativity Might Improve if You Quit Social Media

Have you noticed how children today don’t have the creativity they did in years past? Forget making mud pies, blanket forts, and playing in the great outdoors; technology has put a damper on the fun. Adults are equally affected by using the internet.

Your creativity can greatly suffer when you’re constantly looking up someone else’s ideas. The internet does most of the thinking for you, and social media is just another way to find resources without using your imagination.

5. You’ll Discover More Mentally Engaging Activities

How many times have you got your phone out when you’re standing in line at the grocery store or in the doctor’s office? You use the phones to help you pass the time, and scrolling on social media becomes a hobby. What would you do if you didn’t have your phone?

You would read a magazine, talk to someone next to you, or play a clever game with your kids of Eye Spy. These phones are zapping the abilities to engage with other people and the capacity to participate mentally from you.

6. Others’ Views of You Lose Their Grip

Are you a people pleaser? Do you do everything in your power to ensure that others are envious of you? The court of public opinion is out in full force on social media.

It can really affect the way you interact with others and how you feel about yourself. When you quit social media, the opinions of others don’t have such a grip on you.

There’s nothing worse than posting something on your wall or Tweeting about your day and having people criticize you. Who needs this kind of stress?

7. Your Self-Assurance Could Improve

When you’re a slave to social outlets, then you might weigh each decision you make. If you post regularly, people expect to see your post, and if you skip a day, they will wonder what’s going on with you.

Everything you do is under the microscope from the people you befriend online. They can cause your esteem to tank when they put you down or don’t like your comments. Your self-assurance and esteem can greatly suffer when you rely on what other people think and say.

8. Tension Decreases When You Quit Social Media

Have you experienced an all-out war on your social media outlets? People can be quite mean. What happens if you voice your opinion and they come after you?

If you feel tension and stress every time one of your indications or private messages comes to your phone, it’s time to quit social media. When you’re no longer enjoying the apps, and they’ve become more trouble than they’re worth, it’s time to get rid of them.

9. Face-to-face Relationships Improve

Have you ever went out to dinner, and you hardly saw the person’s face because it was buried in their phone? People have become rude when it comes to communicating face-to-face. They won’t let an email, social media alert, or private message go unanswered, no matter who’s with them.

How much more would you be engaged with those around you if you didn’t have your phone? Evaluate your life daily and see how much your social media obsession keeps you from spending quality time with the ones you love. You might be surprised if you check the amount of time you spend on the internet each day.

Consider Facebook. It’s one of the hottest apps around, with more than three hundred million users. Each day, there are 1.4 million of those people active on their accounts. However, an article by Marketplace shows that Facebook is losing users to their other brand, Instagram. Can you imagine what their numbers were before?

The more outlets that continue to pop up, the more these established sites lose people. However, for the average person, it just means more social channels to draw their attention.

10. Your Body Image Will Improve

You must have a healthy view of your body, regardless of all your imperfections. If you see posts that use derogatory comments towards people of size, it can affect how you feel about your physique. You must love the skin your in, even if you’re trying to make improvements.

There is no perfect body, hair, wardrobe, or life. The internet is so full of fake people and situations that it’s easy to get drawn into it. Quit feeling less than when you’re perfect just the way you are.

Final Thoughts on Positive Changes That Might Occur When You Quit Social Media

Social media is a great way to pass the time. However, it’s also a timewaster. If you’re spending more energy keeping up with the recent posting on these apps than you do with your family and friends, then it’s time to quit social media. The more sites that pop up on the internet, the more the attraction to add another app to your phone becomes.

The sad part about all these sites is that they’re so full of fakery. All the “friends” on your wall mostly post their best moments. They want to create an illusion or a façade of a perfect life, but no one has perfection.

Remember the next time you feel the pangs of jealousy hit you because someone got a new home, car, or just spent a week in the tropics; you only see what they allow you to see. Behind every post is some harsh realities that show an entirely different picture. If you can’t quit social media cold turkey, reduce your time on these sites.

You will undoubtedly see positive changes in your productivity, attitude, stress levels, and overall free time. What’s keeping you tied to these sites, and isn’t it time to break the tie that binds?

10 Kind Ways to Help Destigmatize Mental Health Challenges

June 12, 2022 by Chris Butler

In a perfect world, the move to destigmatize mental health would be met with open arms. However, many people still have an old-fashioned mindset that someone who experiences mental health issues is weak.

In fact, one in five adults in this country will experience a severe mental health crisis this year, according to the National Library of Medicine.

With such overwhelming odds, why do people still want to stigmatize something so prevalent? Americans are overworked and underpaid, which adds undue stress to an already chaotic life. Not only must you work 40 or more hours a week to make it, but you have a household, family, and other responsibilities.

Unless you’re a superhero, it’s challenging to get done all you need to and still have time for self-care. When’s the last time you had an hour to yourself to read a book, take a bubble bath, or watch a good movie with friends? Part of this is the reason why mental health issues are on the increase.

Your mind is like a computer. Have you ever had five web pages open, music is coming from somewhere, and the computer is spinning and not loading? Your brain can only take so many commands at once. When you’re going in 100 different directions, it’s not long before it will crash.

So, people all over the country are well aware of the stress and pressure, yet they still stigmatize those who have been strong for way too long. It’s time to destigmatize mental health and encourage folks to seek the help they need.

Ten Ways to Destigmatize Mental Health Challenges

For de-stigmatization to occur, everyone must do their part. You may feel that your voice won’t matter amongst the masses, but it takes one person to stand up to make a difference. Remember the old parable about the man who was walking on the beach exercising?

He came to a particular area, and thousands of starfish had washed up on the shore with the rising tide. An avid nature lover, the man began to throw them back one by one. Another man came to this area and saw what he was doing.

The onlooker was intrigued but thought his actions were foolish. As he watched the man tirelessly throw them back, he asked him why he was wasting his time as there’s no way he could make an impact. The man told him that they would all die if he didn’t get them back into the ocean before the sun rose.

The man continued throwing them in the ocean. The onlooker shook his head and told him that it didn’t matter anyway. The old man turned to the onlooker and said, “It mattered to this one?”

The moral of this parable is that what you do might make a difference to only one person, but if even just one person is affected, then it counts for something. Here are some reasons why you should fight to destigmatize mental health.

1. Promote Fairness Among Physical and Mental Illnesses

A lady pulls up to the grocery store and parks in the accessible parking spot. She gets out of the car and walks freely into the store. She’s stopped by an older gentleman who tells her she should be ashamed of herself for parking in a spot she doesn’t need.

The lady tells him that she has a disability. The man laughed and said that she looked perfectly fine. See, the woman has crippling anxiety, and if she walks very far, she loses her breath.

It’s a miracle she can even go to the grocery store with her social anxiety being so bad, let alone being criticized by another consumer. Now, the reality is that the man wouldn’t have said a word if she used a wheelchair or walked with a limp. However, because he couldn’t see anything wrong with her, he jumped to conclusions.

He wouldn’t dare ask someone with an oxygen machine why they used the handicapped spot, so why was it so different for her? Be kind and compassionate towards others, as you never know the battles they face.

2. Don’t Embrace Self-Stigma

If it isn’t bad enough that the world can be down on you, you can also be down on yourself. You don’t have to hide in shame because you have special needs, as you can still be a productive member of society. It’s possible to live a purpose-driven life even while dealing with mental health issues.

3. Be Mindful of Problematic Language

One way you can make a dramatic impact is by changing your language. Older terms have now become very derogatory and hurtful to someone in this situation. Saying things like “nuts,” “crazy,” “psycho,” and “looney” are very insensitive.

Don’t use any adjectives to describe folks who have a mental health issue. It’s cruel and no different than any other type of discrimination. It’s hurtful, and it must stop!

4. Ask Others to Help Your Efforts to Destigmatize Mental Health Conditions and Illnesses

One way to destigmatize mental health is to call others out when they’re inappropriate. If you hear someone at work using derogatory terms and acting insensitive, you have the right to call them out for their words.

Additionally, suppose you see people on social media, television, or other outlets using discriminatory remarks. In that case, you have a right to stand up for the right to equal treatment for all.

5. Teach Yourself and Others About

Educating folks on mental health issues can help to take away some of the stigmas. For instance, knowing statistics, stories of others, and engaging in good conversation can help normalize these problems. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance estimates that there are 5.7 million people in this country with bipolar disorder, so isn’t it time to talk more freely about it rather than judging?

6. Select Empowerment Over Humiliation

You can fight the stigmas by living a life empowered for change. What empowerment means to each person is different, but generally, it’s about owning your life and story.

No matter what hand you’ve been dealt, you can refuse to let the illness define you. Additionally, the opinions of others should never dictate how you feel about yourself either.

7. Show Compassion for Yourself and Others

Being kind and compassionate for others is one of the best things you can do. It shows you’re a human being with needs and issues too. Rather than casting judgment, use understanding. Listen to people as they talk about their struggle with mental and physical problems.

One day, the sting of mental illness may encompass your life, and you will need support. The Universe will repay your kindness by allowing someone to be there for you.

Don’t beat yourself up if you struggle with anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. There’s nothing you can do to avoid it, and you’re going to get through it.

8. Talk Freely About Your Mental Health Struggles

One way to fight the stigma is to discuss your mental health struggles freely. There’s scarcely a person who hasn’t been touched by depression or anxiety at some point in their life.

Being open and honest about it helps to take away some of the shocks from it. Many people will relate to your issues, whether they are willing to admit it is another story.

9. Be Honest About Treatment

It’s okay to see a therapist, a psychiatrist, and any other professional who can help you with your needs. Additionally, being open about seeking treatment can allow others to talk about it without the fear of being judged.

10. Support Organizations That Help to Destigmatize Mental Health Concerns

There are so many organizations that have made a stand towards mental health, and these are the companies you should support. Some of the biggest sponsors are:

National Institute of Mental Health
World Health Organization (WHO)
Connect With Mental Health Treatment

Share blog posts from these companies and stories on your social media and encourage others to research their sites. The valuable information these companies provide can help so many.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Destigmatize Mental Health Challenges

While things have certainly evolved over the past thirty years in the mental health industry, much work is left to be done. You must help destigmatize mental health so that people will feel free to seek treatment for the problems that plague them.

Did you know that about 70 percent of those who suffer from mental ailments don’t seek help because they’re afraid or believe the stigmas? The National Library of Medicine shows statistics from studies conducted around the country, and the numbers are alarming. Even delaying treatment can be troublesome, especially when hope and help are available and people can find relief.

The change will come when you stand up and be the voice of reason. Remember, you might not have the ability to change the masses, but you can make a difference to just one person who listens.

9 Reasons Why Setting Small Goals Helps You Accomplish More

June 12, 2022 by Kristen Butler

As a child, you learned how to set goals to get something you want. If you wanted to buy that new toy like your friend, you planned to save your allowance until you had enough money to buy it. This simple life lesson about setting small goals for more significant outcomes can serve you well into adulthood.

Do you have dreams that you want to turn into reality? Unfortunately, there’s no magic wand that makes it happen. It takes careful planning and dividing your goals into smaller ones to accomplish anything. Each step brings you closer to your destiny.

Some say that setting small goals is all about visualization. For instance, if you want to go on your dream vacation to a tropical island, you must first be able to imagine yourself basking in the golden rays of a beach. Once you see yourself in this location and enjoying the rewards of your labor, you can encourage yourself to work for this goal.

While you might find motivation for a tropical beach vacation, it may be more challenging with something like finishing your master’s degree in college. However, if you look at the big picture of a goal like that, you will see that setting small goals to get through a quarter or semester is beneficial. The point is don’t get overwhelmed by the finish line.

Nine Smart Reasons for Setting Small Goals

Are you ready to confront the daunting tasks before you? They won’t be so intimidating once you’ve turned them into small tasks you can do every day. Here are eight reasons why you can realize your dreams and accomplish more with small goals.

1. The Road of Success Has Small Steps

The great Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu proclaimed that you must take the first step to start a journey of 1,000 miles. This iconic proverb is true with physical journeys as well as your life’s progress. If you stand frozen and dread the long trip, you’ll never go anywhere until you start walking.

Dividing your goals into small goals makes the task a little less overwhelming. For example, let’s say you want to lose 75 pounds to be healthy. Seeing that a large number may be intimidating for you.

However, you could break the final number into doable goals, like losing 10 or 15 pounds. Instead of being overwhelmed to lose a massive amount of weight, it’s easier to strive for a few pounds at a time. According to an article published by Forbes Magazine, achieving small goals regularly can keep your motivation stronger.

2. Setting Small Goals Inspires Action

Have you ever participated in a race? The closer you get to the finish line, the more motivation you get. This same principle also relates to dividing and conquering goals in your life.

With each successful step, you’re that much closer to achieving your dream. You get your second wind and work harder on the next few steps. You’re less likely to become discouraged and give up.

3. They Offer Clearer Focus

Many people decide to plan like some corporations and make five-year goals. While planning that far in advance is admirable, it may be too much for your mind. As busy as you probably are, it may be challenging to set goals for the next six months, let alone five years.

Of course, you can set goals for years into the future. Perhaps you’re in college now, and you’re planning graduate school and a career path. Those will take some time and careful financial planning.

Give yourself better focus by breaking this five-year plan into one year or even a few months. It’s much easier to focus on a year rather than a few years out into the future. You still have an important goal, but you realize it bit by bit.

4. Setting Small Goals Can Build Your Confidence

Remember the story of the Little Engine that could? He faced climbing a massive hill with a heavy load. He would’ve never made it to the top and beyond if he had only concentrated on the difficulty.

With each chug of his engine and turn of his wheel, he made it a little farther up the hill. It gave the Little Engine confidence and momentum as he cheered himself on with “I think I can, I think I can.” These small victories took him to the summit.

It’s amazing how many real-life principles are presented in children’s literature. In an article published by Random Acts of Leadership, they discuss how smaller goals are part of the Success Cycle.

The second step of this cycle is to narrow your focus. If you spread yourself too thin on a big goal, you’re more apt to get discouraged and fizzle out. Instead, focusing on smaller goals builds your confidence to take the steps to the top of your hill.

5. Small Victories Cultivate New Habits

In an article published by Brain Pickings, they explain how people develop new habits. It took an average of 66 days for the 96 participants to complete a further action automatically.

However, she is quick to note that many experts say it probably takes longer to develop more difficult habits. Either way, successful repetition seems to be what forms new patterns for a lifetime.

It stands to reason that success will become a habit when you divide a larger goal into smaller ones and achieve small victories regularly. Your mind and body become accustomed to working for what you want, and you won’t accept anything less. Making success a daily routine brings rich rewards in the long run.

6. You’re Less Likely to Procrastinate

Remember in school when you had to do large science projects or other lengthy assignments? Usually, the teacher gave you a generous time block to work on the task at home and school. Perhaps you were one of the many students who felt overwhelmed and kept putting the project off until the last minute.

Unfortunately, procrastination can follow you into your adult life. Maybe your supervisor asks you to complete a report or project by a specific date. The research and compilation may seem so taxing that you dread opening the first file.

Not only can procrastination affect your job performance, but it may make the difference in getting the raise or promotion you wanted. In fact, it could land you in the unemployment line.

Breaking a large project into small goals works for school children and high-profile executives. When you complete a small task each day, you feel accomplished and less stressed. You aren’t as apt to procrastinate, and you will reach your goals or deadlines.

7. Setting Smaller Goals May Help You Anticipate Barriers

No matter how hard you work and plan, you’ll always find wrenches in the works along the way. Overcoming obstacles is part of human nature and is one that makes victory so sweet. Nobody ever reached the summit of their goals without interference of some sort.

When you deal with smaller goals, it’s easier to anticipate any snags. For example, say you ordered some supplies you needed to complete a project. You were proactive in faxing your order in case of delays, so you aren’t without supplies in the 11th hour.

Can you think of ways you can expect problems in your path before they arise? This will be part of how you’re getting smaller, attainable goals. Coping with delays and other issues on a smaller level can make the larger task easier.

8. Creating Milestones

During the heyday of the Roman Empire road system, milestones were established to let travelers know how far they’ve gone. It also told them how much farther they had to travel to their destination. Think of your smaller goals as milestones toward your life’s destiny.

First, these bite-sized goals remind you of how far you’ve traveled. You can appreciate your hard work and all the hurdles you’ve jumped over to get from point A to point B. Taking a breather and acknowledging this milestone builds your confidence as a person who sets goals and wins.

Now, consider how this milestone directs you to how much farther your destination is. Since you’ve come this far successfully, you know what it takes to make it across the finish line. Count the small milestones along the way and realize that’s what it’s going to take to achieve your greater missions. These milestones are a testament to your determination.

9. They Help with Other Goals

Most people divide their goals according to their personal and professional life. Your goals may also have subcategories that may overlap. No matter which type is the subject of your focus, achieving small goals can be the incentive for ones in another category.

Say that you work for an advertising agency, and you’ve always dreamed of branching out on your own. The goals you accomplish at work are bound to inspire you to work on personal goals. You’re gaining skills and knowledge to set and meet goals for your own business.

Sometimes, your success at work can help you at home. Do you vow to help you and your family be more organized? The same little goals you accomplish for organization on the job can be carried over into your house. You can also incorporate successful steps you have at home into your workplace.

Final Thoughts on Setting Small Goals for Success

Everybody has dreams they want to accomplish in life. If you have big goals, you should know that you can do anything you set your mind to do. When you focus on setting smaller goals, each little success will help make your bigger dreams a reality.

4 Signs That Reveal Someone Is Using Manipulation Tactics

June 12, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

It’s sadly quite common to encounter someone who’s toxic or who engages in manipulation tactics. The chances are that if you’ve been around enough people in your life, you would have encountered a fair number of manipulative and downright poisonous people.

But toxicity isn’t always easy to spot. Besides that, you can fall prey to those machinations if you remain unaware. Here are four ways to spot toxic people to escape their manipulation tactics.

1. They Avoid Responsibility By Deploying Manipulation Tactics

Toxic people often want to avoid having any responsibility at all for their mistakes or issues. They don’t want to ever be in the position of “wrong.” It’s no surprise, then, that many manipulators are motivated by the desire to improve their appearance to others and get away with harm, say studies.

It can be hard to fight the toxicity of someone who is always avoiding responsibility and accountability. Trying to go toe-to-toe with them will lead you in circles because their goal isn’t a resolution – it’s to get off scot-free. Here are some signs of a toxic person trying to manipulate their way to responsibility avoidance:

· They Project

Projection is the act of putting your emotions onto someone else, assuming everyone else feels what they feel while also denying your feelings. For example, an individual projecting their envy of you will accuse you of being envious of them. Or an angry individual will accuse you of being in a bad mood. A toxic person will continually project their own emotions onto the people around them, refusing to take responsibility for their feelings and insisting that they are yours. Don’t fall into the trap of defending and justifying yourself! This doesn’t have anything to do with you, really, and you’ll wind up going in circles.

· They’re Always Right – But They’re Not

People are wrong all the time, and we mainly accept that this is just a natural part of being human. But a toxic person refuses to admit that they could ever be wrong. They will twist anything to make it, so they seem like they’re right, even when they aren’t. Learning to note this so you can take what they say with a grain of salt will help you filter out the nonsense and stick to talking to those who will take responsibility for incorrect information.

· They Don’t Apologize, Even If You Confront Them About The Manipulation Tactics

Toxic people are focused on avoiding responsibility – and that means they can’t admit to fault. Instead of apologizing or even just owning up to something they’ve done, they’ll opt to lie, twist the situation, deflect blame, and deceive so much that they’ll even convince themselves they’re right. If you want an apology from a toxic person, you need to be prepared not to get it. Focus on maintaining your position of truth and disengage once it becomes clear that there will not be a positive outcome. There’s no sense in wasting your time.

2. They’re Focused On Themselves

There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, and you should be your priority in life. But toxic individuals take this to the next level. They don’t just take care of themselves – they’re obsessed with themselves to the level of focusing only on their little world. They behave as if they’re the center of the universe and can’t relate to other people. Here are some signs of this manipulation tactic in toxic people:

· They Take and Never Give

Toxic people always seem to expect and insist upon the “charity” of others. They have no interest in reciprocating any of the help that they receive and continually feel entitled to that help, often in an infuriating way. If this is pointed out to them, they may accuse you of being calculative or selfish or even find a way to explain that their acts of taking were acts of giving towards you. Know the value of your efforts and labor, and don’t fall victim to toxic people trying to take care of your desire to give!

· They Boast

Being proud of how far you’ve come is a fantastic and positive thing! But toxic people will only use their pride in their accomplishments to put down other people. When you talk about your achievements, they’ll barge in and overpower you with their own stories, and they can’t help talking about themselves at all times, no matter how irrelevant it is. Please don’t give them the satisfaction of attention!

· They Want Everything To Go Their Way

The world doesn’t revolve around anyone, much less a toxic person. But that doesn’t stop them from desperately wanting it to or genuinely believing that it does or should. This can make toxic people very controlling. They’ll try to make you fall in line with their desires and be very overbearing about what they want to be done. Make sure that you stand up for yourself with positive thinking. Don’t let them push you around!

3. They Try To Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

You would think that it would be easy to notice when a toxic person tries to manipulate you into losing some of your self-confidence. But in reality, manipulators are very good at using underhanded tactics that make them look innocent while dragging you down. This can leave you second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re too sensitive, or even directly making you feel like you’re the bad guy.

Debasement, which is the act of reducing the quality or value of something or someone, is a common manipulation tactic that research has long shown. Guard yourself against that toxicity by being aware of these common signs that someone is trying to make you feel bad about yourself with indirect manipulation:

· They’re Critical and Judgemental

Toxic people tend to judge the people around them harshly, jumping to false conclusions about other people’s character and capabilities based on arbitrary things. Worse still, some toxic people disguise this by claiming that they’re just giving healthy constructive criticism, urging you to accept their words with positive thinking. But there’s a difference between valid feedback and plain insults. Don’t let them convince you their terms are more helpful than they are.

· They Let Their Tone Carry Weight

A toxic person is very good at saying things that sound nice while their tone is anything but that. Given how much stock human beings put into all forms of communication – including what is technically unspoken – toxic people know that they’ll get their message across without explicitly stating it. Words such as “It looks like you had a good day!” seem positive, but the tone can completely change that.

For example, that sentence could be intoned to say, “It takes so little to please you so you have a good day, which I think is pathetic.” or “My day was so much worse than yours, and I’m so angry that you didn’t ask me about it first!”. If you call them out on these tones, though, they’ll be able to deny it by saying that all they said was that you had a good day. It can be frustrating to deal with this toxicity, and sometimes the best option is to either play oblivious or directly ask for better communication.

· They Make You Feel Defensive as a Manipulation Tactic

Do you notice that you tend to feel very defensive around a particular person? Specifically, do you often find yourself having to justify yourself for reasons that seem obvious? Think about your interactions with them and consider why you feel this way. The chances are that this person is toxic. Perhaps they meet everything you say with criticism or argument, or they always have something negative to say about your actions. If you find yourself in this situation, disengaging from that person is your best option.

4. They Paint Themselves In Dishonest Ways

Dishonesty and deception are almost synonymous with manipulation, which is why toxic people tend to present themselves in inaccurate ways. Unfortunately, most people aren’t going to automatically assume that someone is dishonest, so toxic individuals can manipulate others into believing that they’re someone completely different all the time.

It’s tougher than it sounds to see through this dishonesty. Here are some signs to look out for that a toxic person is painting themselves incorrectly:

· They Always Play The Victim (One of the most common manipulation tactics)

Playing the victim allows someone to gain attention and sympathy and involves pretending to be innocent of all wrong, pointing to many different things that have harmed them instead. For example, if they were late for something, they’ll whine about the terrible situation they’re in with their personal lives, or they’ll blame someone for not reminding them. Toxic people are very good at perfecting the victim act, making people feel sorry for them even when they take ownership of their actions and circumstances.

· They Pretend To Care

To look like a good person, someone who is toxic will need to make it seem like they care about you and the people around them. Of course, someone whose goal is manipulation isn’t going to care about you or anyone else, so they must opt for deception instead. They’ll pretend to be sorry, sad for you, or sympathetic to gain your favor. Keep an eye out for dishonest behavior, and don’t be fooled by compassion that isn’t genuine. The valid concern is followed up by action.

· They Behave Inconsistently

Human beings are complex and have different moods and thoughts based on different situations in their everyday lives. But with toxic people, that natural level of unpredictability reaches new heights. Their opinions and beliefs could swing from one extreme to the other depending on the day. They could treat plans one way now and immediately switch tomorrow. It can be very confusing, especially if it is accompanied by an apparent negative pivot in attitude that makes you feel like you need to help them or figure out what’s wrong. Once again, disengaging from inconsistent and manipulative behavior is the best way to handle this issue.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Spot Toxic People And Escape Their Manipulation Tactics

It can be hard to deal with toxic people. But the first step is being able to tell when someone is behaving in manipulation tactics. Once you know someone has these traits, you can learn to escape their ploys and disengage from their rhetoric.

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