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5 Ways to Repair Burned Bridges

May 17, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“Be careful when burning bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.” – Unknown

There are times in life when our emotions get the best of us. We say things we don’t mean, we take a stand that really isn’t important, and we leave a relationship unattended all because we can’t figure out how to approach a challenging situation.

Burning a bridge might be necessary sometimes, but in most cases, it can seriously impact our life by closing doors and limiting certain opportunities.

Whether it’s a friend, a family member or even an acquaintance, life is too short, and we need all the friends we can get. It is rarely a good idea to cut someone off forever.

Burning bridges doesn’t accomplish much. Everyone involved is damaged, and no one leaves the situation unscathed. In the end, what does burning a bridge accomplish? Nothing at all. Instead, take the energy spent trying to burn the bridge and try repairing it instead.

Here are five ways to repair burned bridges.

1 – Make The First Move

The hardest part of repairing a damaged relationship is making the first move. Neither person wants to be the first, and that’s because it is scary being vulnerable by reaching out and beginning the healing.

Be aware that it might take more than making eye contact or smiling in their direction. Take the time to arrange a meeting and make your intentions clear. Many times, making the first move can be seen as an apology and be okay with that.

No one is blameless in a damaged relationship. Be intent on making amends and not determining fault. We must recognize our part in it and be willing to do what it takes. Making that intent known will go a long way to opening the lines of communication.

2 – Seek Forgiveness

Forgiveness must happen on both sides to move forward through a difficult situation. Ask forgiveness and grant it, recognizing both parties played a role.

It is important to realize that forgiveness looks different for everyone. The goal is to walk away with no hard feelings and the commitment to keep the situation in the past.

It is important to be honest, not only about the responsibility of each person to the situation but as to what the expectations are going forward. Use bridge repairing as a time to take the lessons learned and strengthen your relationship moving forward.

3 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

The bridge can only be repaired if everyone involved agrees to communicate openly and honestly. There may be things that are difficult to say and to hear, but without the commitment to communicate, those things will continue to fester giving a false sense of hope.

A solid relationship is not built on lies or false hopes. Everyone deserves the truth, and when given in love, it will help bring the relationship to a new level and demonstrate a willingness to make it work.

4 – Listen to and Accept Feedback

Talking is only one-half of the communication plan. We must also be willing to listen and accept the other person’s perceptions of the situation. We base our understanding of what happened on our perceptions, but the other person may have a completely different view.

It is with this knowledge that listening and accepting feedback can repair the bridge. It’s important that we know how we feel and respect the feelings of the other person. When we open our hearts to allow the other person’s perceptions, we can move forward with respect and grace.

Listening and knowing you are heard is a critical piece of any conflict resolution, and no bridge can be rebuilt without it.

5 – Be Willing to Compromise

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” ~ John F. Kennedy

To repair a burned bridge, compromise is the best way to move forward through the conflict. It’s impossible to put the bridge back together if someone feels they are doing all the giving.

By the time the bridge is burned, there is usually more than one situation that contributed to it. Be willing to stand up for what is important and then be willing to compromise. Let the stuff that doesn’t matter go.

Go forward knowing routines may need to change, habits will be altered and new expectations will be set. Approach repairing the bridge with eyes wide open.

Final Thoughts on Your Efforts to Repair Burned Bridges

Know there is work to be done and the first step is being focused on making the relationship work. We must enter committed to repairing the hurt and putting our egos aside, knowing the relationship matters, and it’s worth the effort.

In what ways have you repaired burned bridges? What have you found to be the most effective tool in reaching a compromise and strengthening your relationships?

12 Life Lessons Learned From B.B. King

May 15, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Throughout his life, B.B. King released over 50 albums and was considered the “king of the blues” for more than six decades. He influenced countless musicians with his staccato guitar-picking style and smooth, yet powerful voice, and though he passed away just yesterday, his legacy will never be forgotten.

He won 15 GRAMMY Awards® throughout his career as a blues musician and made an everlasting mark on the music industry, as well as the lives of people he touched through his songs. We can learn valuable lessons from all those who have come before us, including the legendary B.B. King.

Here are some of his most memorable quotes and lessons he taught us:

1. “The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.”

He learned the fundamentals of blues from his cousin, Bukka White, and once he mastered the art of blues, he put his own unique spin on blues music. He taught us that it’s important to learn from others, but also to stay true to your heart and express what you’ve learned in your own special way.

2. “We all have idols. Play like anyone you care about, but try to be yourself while you’re doing it.”

Yet again, he showed us that you can share a talent with many others in the world, but to honor yourself and never stray from what feels right in your own heart. Never sacrifice your individuality for fortune or fame – those come as a byproduct of simply being yourself.

3. “I don’t think it’s meant for man to know everything at once.”

4. “Growing up, I was taught that a man has to defend his family. When the wolf is trying to get in, you gotta stand in the doorway. He has to get through you first before he gets into the house to get your family. I’m one of those guys who wants to be in that door.”

A very poignant quote from the blues icon himself, he showed us that above all, we must protect those we love, and stand by them no matter what comes knocking at the door.

5. While he didn’t say this directly, he taught us to never give up and never get complacent even when we’ve reached our goals. He remained on tour well into his 80s, showing us that when you truly love something and feel it deep within your bones, it becomes a part of you that you can’t ever give up.

6. Any time that people think enough of you to put up something that’s everlasting is only going to make you feel good.”

7. “I don’t think anybody steals anything; all of us borrow.”

He knew that all of us come to Earth with nothing, and leave with nothing. Therefore, we all share the resources we have during our time here; even if it’s not a popular viewpoint, he expressed it openly and honestly anyway, making him even more memorable as a blues artist.

8. “I never wanted to be like other blues singers. I might like hearing them play, but I’ve never wanted to be anyone other than myself. There are a few people I’ve wished I could play like, but when I tried, it didn’t work.”

9. “If there was no ladies, I wouldn’t wanna be on the planet. Ladies, friends, and music – without those three, I wouldn’t wanna be here.”

10. “I never use that word – retire.”

11. “There are so many sounds I still want to make, so many things I haven’t yet done.”

He showed us to never let your excitement and desire for life fade away; always find something to stay passionate about, and do things that make you feel thankful and honored to be here.

12. “You only live but once, and when your died your done, so let the good times roll.”

Though he may not have written these lyrics, he certainly lived them and showed us to take life by the horns and give our best effort at each new sunrise. He truly appreciated every day he spent on Earth, and we will always remember him for his contagious smiles, positive attitude, and willingness to live each day like it was his last.

5 Exercises to Relieve Sciatica Pain

May 14, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The sciatic nerve is the largest single nerve in the human body; traveling downwards from both sides of the lower spine, through the buttocks to the back of the thigh and continuing down to the foot. This nerve is single-handedly responsible for connecting the spinal cord to the leg and foot muscles. Sciatica results when inflammation strikes this nerve.

Given the length and function of the sciatic nerve, it is quite possible to experience sciatic pain (sciatica) at some point in your life. Unfortunately, this pain is often both excruciating and debilitating when it strikes.

Common symptoms of sciatica:

– Constant pain on one side of the buttock or leg.

– Sharp, severe pain in one leg – making it difficult to stand or walk.

– Foot pain or pain in the toes.

– Discomfort worsens when standing or sitting, while dissipating when laying down or walking.

– Pain is sharp and searing, not dull.

– Pain originates in the lower back or buttock and travels downwards.

– A “pins-and-needles” or prickling sensation down the leg.

In many cases, this pain can be resolved with some simple exercises over a short period of time. However, when experiencing severe and/or persistent pain – generally over a week – it is always best to seek medical advice.

Here are some exercises that you can try to relieve sciatica.

#1. Knee to chest stretch

Starting position: Lie down face-up on a mat or carpet, knees bent, feet straight and hip-width apart. Chin slightly tucked.

Support: Place a small cushion under the head.

Motion: Move the knee up and grasp with interlocked fingers. Slowly bring the knee towards your chest, stopping at the point of discomfort. Hold the position for 20-30 seconds with deep, controlled breathing.

Repeat motion three times with each leg.

Pointers:

-Ignore the natural tendency to tense up chest, neck or shoulders. This often happens when and if pain surfaces.

-Keep the upper body relaxed throughout the exercise.

#2. Sciatica stretch

Starting position: Lie down face-up on a mat or carpet knees bent, feet straight and hip-width apart. Chin slightly tucked.

Support: Place a small cushion under the head.

Motion: Bend one knee up to the chest and hold hamstring with both hands just below the knee. Slowly straighten the knee and bring your foot towards your abdominal area, stopping at the point of discomfort. Hold the position for 20-30 seconds with deep, controlled breathing. Bend the knee and return to the starting position.

Repeat motion three times with each leg.

Pointers:

– Don’t place any more pressure on your lower back than necessary for the stretch.

– Make sure to stop if any pain, tingling or numbness is felt.

#3. Seated hip stretch

Starting position: Sit in a chair or on the floor. If sitting on the floor, cross one leg over with the other leg straight. If sitting on a chair, simply cross one leg over the other with the ankle area supported by the opposite knee.

Support: Use a small cushion in either position if more comfortable.

Motion: Sitting on the floor, cross the right leg over the straightened left leg and hug the right knee with your left arm while keeping your back straight. Stop at the point of discomfort. Hold for 30 seconds while breathing deeply.

Sitting in a chair, gently lean forward until the stretch is felt. Stop at the point of discomfort. Hold for 30 seconds while breathing deeply.

Repeat on the opposite side, if desired.

Pointers:

– Keep the back straight if performing the exercise on the floor. If sitting on a chair, you will lean forward to perform the stretch.

– Stop if any pain, tingling or numbness is felt.

#4. Piriformis stretch

Starting position: Lie down face-up on a mat or carpet with both feet flat on the floor, knees bent.

Support: Place a small cushion under the head if more comfortable.

Motion: Rest your left or right angle over the opposite knee, grasp the opposite leg just below the knee and pull the thigh towards your chest. Stop at the point of sciatica discomfort and hold the position for 30 seconds, breathing deeply.

Repeat stretch on other leg.

Pointers:

– Remember to keep both feet relaxed as possible.

– Keep neck and back flat on the ground while performing the exercise.

– Stop if any pain, tingling or numbness is felt.

#5. Back extensions

Starting position: On a carpet or mat, lie down on your stomach while using your elbows for support. Lengthen your back, shoulders and neck.

Support: Mat or blanket may be used if more comfortable.

Motion: Keeping your body lengthened, arch your back by pushing down on your upper arms or hands. A stretch should be felt in your stomach muscles if performed correctly. Stop at the point of discomfort and hold the position for 10-15 seconds while breathing deeply.

Repeat the stretch up to 10 times, if comfortable.

Pointers:

– Keep your hips flat on the ground.

– The neck should remain straight throughout the exercise.

– Do not push past the point of discomfort.

The above exercises should provide some measure of relief from sciatic pain if performed correctly and on a regular basis. It is notable that these are beneficial exercises for general back pain as well. Further, the exercises are terrific for keeping the body healthy and enhancing or maintaining flexibility.

Final Thoughts on Coping with Sciatica

Remember: If your sciatica pain persists or worsens, please seek medical advice. These exercises are not meant to substitute necessary medical care for severe and/or chronic back pain.

3 Ways to Turn Your Home Into Your Sanctuary

May 13, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“There is a reverence for the simple, quiet pleasures of living well and beautifully at home. Home is where we return for fulfillment and wholeness.” ~ Alexandra Stoddard

Everyone deserves a space where they can feel emotionally safe and secure. Space where the chaos of the world is checked at the door and upon entering, the soul is fed with calm and positive energy. And what better place for this space to reside then in your home?

When creating a sanctuary, you should walk into the room and immediately feel lighter as if all the stresses and worry of your day has been lifted.

Here are 3 ways to turn your home into your sanctuary.

1 – Aromatherapy

“Odors have a power of persuasion stronger than that of words, appearances, emotions, or will.” ~ Patrick Süskind,

Have you ever entered a space and felt the energy change? Energy surrounds us and even though we might not always be aware of it, it can influence our mood, our work, and even our health.

There is a reason ancient cultures use incense made from a varying bouquet of aromatic plants as a form of worship and healing. They used it because it is believed to heal and chase away negative energy.

Well, it turns out what our ancient relatives believed is true. Studies show that essential oils and aromatherapy can positively affect depression, anxiety, and other mood-related ailments not to mention a host of physical symptoms.

Do These Things

Create a citrus-based room spray.
Place lavender filled sachets on a bookshelf, in drawers and closets.
Make a bowl of potpourri for the room.
Burn essential oil-based candles or use a diffuser.

Aromatherapy will not only fill your home with pleasant scents, but it can also create the sanctuary you need to recharge. Add the many health benefits associated with essential oils and specific plant combinations and it’s a wonder it isn’t more commonly used.

2 – Reduce Clutter

“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” – Lao Tzu

Everybody’s definition of clutter is different. Two people walking into a room might see a different picture, one might appreciate the well-decorated space while the other might see clutter and too much stuff. The important thing to remember about reducing clutter is that it looks different for everyone.

What we surround ourselves with is often an indication of what is going on in our life. We tend to hold onto things for a sense of comfort and security. The problem is we often become a slave to our stuff.

Think back to a time when you cleaned your office or desk, how did it make you feel? Most people tend to feel a sense of calm and order. It feels good! De-cluttering your space can:

Reduce stress
Make your surroundings more attractive
Save you money
Generate feelings of peace and tranquility

When clearing a space, start small. Choose a corner, a shelf, or a drawer and begin there. Don’t allow the process of reducing clutter bring on overwhelming feelings.

Do These Things

Set a timer and eliminate clutter for at least five minutes a day.
Give away one item per day.
If you haven’t used it in a year, let it go.
Make a home for everything and it put it back after using it.

Remember, once a room is “de-cluttered,” chances are some habits will need to be changed. After all, the clutter didn’t happen by itself.

3 – Go Green at Home

“Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

From plants to recycling to bringing the sounds of nature indoors, going green in your space will help you create the sanctuary you crave.

There are numerous health benefits associated with being outside more and inside less. In a recent study, there is a link between exposure to nature with better energy levels and an increased perception of well-being.

However, most people spend the majority of their day inside, so it only makes sense to bring Mother Nature in so we feel alive and at peace.

Earth-toned colors, materials made out of woods and stone, and sounds from nature will help keep your relationship with the outdoors intact even in the midst of a hectic schedule.

Do These Things

Use natural light as much as possible.
Create the sound of water with a tabletop water feature
Add plants around the space.
Paint a wall using a calming color. Alex Trend Painters delivers exceptional painting and decorating services.

Creating a home that is yours and harmoniously functions while bringing you joy and peace is important to your overall wellbeing. Protect this space and keep it free from unnecessary angst and stress. Doing so will provide your soul with the necessary fuel to feed your creativity and curiosity while maintaining an enthusiasm for life.

7 Reasons Why Crying Means You’re Strong

May 11, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Crying is often seen as a sign of weakness, particularly among men who learn (unfairly!) to suppress their emotions and “toughen up.”

However, recent research suggests that crying is a healthy and beneficial way to deal with difficult emotions and can be a sign of strength rather than weakness. Crying is a natural physiological response that helps to release pent-up emotions, reduce stress and improve mental well-being. It is a way for the body to regulate and process emotions and can lead to a sense of catharsis and relief.

Crying can also be a sign of resilience and strength. It takes courage and vulnerability to be open and express emotions, particularly in a society that often stigmatizes emotional vulnerability. Crying can also be a way to connect with others and build relationships, as it signals a willingness to be honest and authentic. By allowing oneself to cry and experience emotions, individuals can better cope with difficult situations and build resilience over time. In short, crying can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation and a sign of strength rather than weakness.

“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” – C.S. Lewis

Crying is our emotional connection with the world. This simple act is often seen as a weakness when it demonstrates our strength in us. It allows us to celebrate the positive and helps us to let go of the negative things in our lives.

There are three types of tears:

Continuous tears keep the surface around the eye moist to protect against infection.
Reflex tears flow when something irritates the eye area.
Emotional tears have a different chemical makeup and can be a natural painkiller.

Regardless of the type of tears you are shedding, crying is a natural reaction of our body and one that promotes a healthier mind.

Here are seven reasons why it is perfectly okay to cry:

1. Tears help you let go and move on.

Pretending everything is okay doesn’t solve anything; it leads to a wealth of pent-up emotions. A good cry is a great way to release the need to hold onto something no longer service. Carrying around emotional baggage can affect your mental health, so cry and let it out.

2. Tears have numerous health benefits.

Crying releases toxins and kills bacteria. It is our body’s natural defense against all those pesky germs in familiar public places. Our body is designed to protect us and will take necessary measures to prevent bacteria from getting in. It also works to eliminate foreign elements, so remember that next time you try to stop the tears.

3. Tears help release high levels of stress.

Crying “is believed to release stress hormones or toxins from the body,” says Lauren Bylsma, a Ph.D. professor at the University of Pittsburgh. Crying is a function of the parasympathetic nervous system responsible for relaxation. When you cry, you are likely releasing stress as your body relaxes. That is why a good cry feels so good.

4. Tears help process grief and loss.

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” – William Shakespeare

Losing someone or something important is tragic. It is a feeling that engulfs you to the point that the only relief happens through tears and a good hug from a close friend.

We often hold back our tears to make it easy for others, but that is not our best approach. Don’t pretend to be strong to make others feel more comfortable.

Instead, focus on what you need to get through that moment. Crying can be comforting, and your tears become your best friend as you work through your loss.

5. Tears help someone who is depressed feel better.

Crying is scientifically proven to make you feel better. Crying will rarely make you feel worse than what prompted you to cry in the first place. It is a release of pent-up energy and emotions.

Crying helps to regulate the highs and lows of emotional extremes. Tears are essential in helping to get out of moments of intense feeling without injury. Crying, especially when feeling down, shouldn’t embarrass you. Instead, it says you are learning to manage your mental health.

6. Tears are a sign of strength.

Crying is a sign of strength, regardless of what society says. It takes strength to show vulnerability. So stop worrying about what others think and cry if you want to.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” ~ Washington Irving

7. Tears help you feel when you don’t know how you feel.

Have you ever cried because you didn’t know what to do or how to feel? Sometimes life gets to be too much. It’s hard to stay composed when the next step isn’t clear, and the thought of figuring it out is a bit overwhelming.

A good cry might be the ticket. It releases stress, makes us feel better, and can help foster creative thinking. After feeling the release crying brings, it’s common to experience more energy and new ideas about tackling the challenges we face.

We already mention that tears can make acquaintances feel uncomfortable, but by not crying, you can suppress your feelings to a point where you might not be able to recognize them in the future.

Final Thoughts on Crying Being a Sign of Strength

Crying is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength and resilience. It is a natural and healthy way to process and regulate emotions and can lead to a sense of catharsis and relief. By allowing oneself to be vulnerable and express emotions, individuals can build deeper connections with others and develop greater emotional intelligence. It takes courage to cry, and it is essential to recognize that doing so is not a sign of failure but rather a sign of strength. So next time you feel the urge to cry, don’t hold back – embrace it as a powerful tool for emotional regulation and a sign of your inner strength.

So cry freely and with pride, knowing you are doing what is right and natural to promote your physical and mental well-being.

10 Rituals That Will Change Your Next Meal

May 10, 2015 by Power of Positivity

On a very basic level, we eat because we are hungry, and our bodies require fuel to live. But a meal is much more than that, it connects us to our heritage, it grows our relationships and it can even comfort us in our time of need. Eating is a privilege many take for granted when it should be a ritual that fosters connectedness.

Many of our food interactions happen because of triggers and feelings that go unnoticed. These triggers establish bad eating habits like eating on the go and snacking when you aren’t hungry. Increasing your awareness of your triggers and feeling in relation to food can help create better-eating habits.

There has been a lot of talk lately about eating mindfully. There is growing research that says our attitudes and practices around mealtime rituals are as important as what it is we put in our mouths. But what does mindful eating really mean?

Mindful eating is a Buddhist practice designed to create a connection with the intention of being present at mealtime. When you are eating mindfully, there is no right or wrong way to eat because you are basing your meals on physical cues, not emotional ones.

When you make the switch from eating mindlessly and out of habit to eating mindfully and with intention, you will create a healthier and happier relationship with food.

Practicing mindful eating can help solve eating issues by increasing awareness of your patterns. It will help you break your bad habits around food while creating healthier ones.

Some additional benefits of being mindful around eating are:

You become more aware of your body and its needs
It improves digestion and reduces overeating
It changes the way you think and how you manage your emotions

Being aware of eating habits and your mealtime rituals will ease the struggle with food and create meaningful and positive experiences worth remembering.

Here are 10 rituals that will completely change your next meal.

Stop Multitasking

You can’t truly appreciate the food on your plate, and the other people present at your meal if you are checking email, texting or watching television. Make mealtime dedicated to the meal and the people you are breaking bread with.

Eat at The Table

We are an “on-the-go” society. There is a lot of eating in the car, at our desks and standing at the counter going on these days. When you make it a habit to eat at a table while sitting down, you are making your food choices a priority. Plus, it can help minimize snacking and mindless over-eating.

Chew Your Food

This may sound like an obvious thing but how many times have you inhaled a meal due to time constraints? If someone were to ask you how it tasted, you probably wouldn’t know how to respond.

Take the time to chew your food. Taste it and appreciate it, be aware of how eating this food is making you feel.

Use Your Senses

As you eat the beautifully prepared food on your plate, use all of your senses. Appreciate the appearance, take in the smell, identify the spices used in the dish, and find the different textures on the plate.

Talk about these things with your mealtime companions. When you spend time truly appreciating your food using all of your senses, you are more connected with your food and your companions.

Choose Quality Foods

There is a time when quantity matters but when it comes to food, it’s quality that should be the focus. Our perception of portion sizes is way out of whack thanks to restaurants trying to win over new customers. When you choose quality foods, your body is getting the nutrition it needs.

Spend Time Preparing Your Food

Nothing makes a meal time better than preparing it with people you care about. Make preparing dinner together a ritual and your mealtime will be happier as a result.

Foster a relaxing and fun environment in the kitchen, use fresh ingredients that fill the room with intoxicating scents and take your time to enjoy each other and the experience.

Express Gratitude

Nothing is more meaningful than expressing gratitude and doing so with intention. Be grateful for the beautiful food, the engaging conversation, and the ability to come together. Being grateful is the greatest gift to mealtime you can give.

These rituals might be simple, but their ability to transform your next meal is great. Take the time to learn what makes you feel good and what makes you feel more connected to your food and those around you.

There is no doubt that with practice and focus, over time you will see huge benefits by being more present in the process of preparing and celebrating food.

What are your mealtime rituals that make your meals better? Share in the comments below:

10 Ways to Hush the Negative Voice Within

May 10, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Your inner voice can determine how you view life. Your self talk is responsible for your dreams and your greatest partner in achieving your goals. How you approach life will determine how happy that life is. Thus positive self-talk begets success while negative talk triggers roadblocks.

It’s true.

According to the Mayo Clinic, “Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach the unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way.”

So how do we hush the negative voice within? Psychologist Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis, who conducted a study with colleagues at the University of Thessaly, found, “Instructional self-talk” works best. Motivational speak can help you succeed. Telling yourself “I can do it” will psych you up and keep you on the right track.

Here are 10 strategies that help quiet a negative inner critic:

1 – Name It

Giving your negative thoughts a name, can help you talk to them. This might sound silly but when you humanize your behaviors you can expect human type responses.

For instance, if you doubt whether you will get the promotion, talk to your doubts as you would a friend. “George, that’s enough. I know I am qualified, I work hard, and the interview went great. Stop worrying so much and be encouraging while I wait to hear.”

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming. Naming your thoughts gives them less power over you and helps to put the thoughts into perspective.

2 – Change Your Focus

When your negative voice appears, sometimes the best approach is to silence it by changing your focus on to something good. The good will replace the negative and your anxiety and stress levels will decrease.

Taking a few minutes away from something that is creating self-doubt, can help keep it from spiraling out of control.

3 – Stop Blaming and Start Claiming

A common initial reaction to negativity is to start placing blame. Blaming just fosters the negative voice inside yourself. Claiming responsibility and putting everything into perspective will help quiet the negative voices and put you on a path to creative problemsolving.

4 – Be Patient

Patience can be a struggle when everyone seems to want things yesterday. When you are impatient, you make harsh judgments, rash decisions and give the negative voices room to grow.

Learning to react from a place of calm and contemplation will help create a patient environment for thoughtful action and positive thinking.

5 – Question It

There is no better way to hush the negative voice than by challenging it and you do that with questions. Question it until you get it under control. Use questions like:

So what? Does it really matter and even so, it doesn’t mean it’s true? Who cares? Do I really care about this? Will I care about this in a month? Why not? Why not me and why not now?

And the best question of all time: what’s the worst that can happen? Keep asking questions until the negative voice gives up.

6 – Stop Predicting and Start Anticipating

Many times our negative voice comes by way of predicting results. In order to protect us from disappointment, we often predict the worst-case scenario.

Instead of predicting, start anticipating the results you want to see happen. When negativity creeps in by way of a prediction, change it to a thought of anticipation.

7 – Take Risks

It seems counterproductive to take a risk when trying to counter your negative voice. Risk is scary, right? You might think that by taking a risk, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of negative self talk, but the opposite is true.

By taking risks, you are opening your creative mind and realize mistakes will happen along the way. When you take risks, you anticipate challenges. It’s that anticipation that will help silence the negative voices because you are already prepared for whatever it plans to say.

8 – Develop a Ritual

Some people benefit by developing a ritual to handle negative selfspeak and you can too. It can include breathing, an affirmation, or even looking out a window. When you hear the voice in your head saying something negative, stop and acknowledge it. Then proceed with whatever ritual speaks to you. The more you practice your ritual, the more habitual it will become.

9 – Set a Timer

When trying to hush the negative voices, most people try just to ignore them. Doing that doesn’t address the issue. Let the voices speak.

Take some time and allow the negative conversation to happen but set a timer. That’s right, time them. Give the negative voices ten minutes to make their argument and when the timer goes off, it’s time to let them go. They said their peace and now it’s time to move.

10 – Practice Gratitude

Negativity and positivity can’t reside in the same space. So what better way to quiet the negative self talk than by focusing on the good in your life. Start recalling the things you are grateful for on a particular day. Doing this will help you find the silverlining in the situation.

Quieting the voices in our head can be challenging at first. With some of these strategies and a little practice, you will be better equipped to challenge them and move on to thoughts that will serve you.

5 Reasons to Never Stop Being Your True Self

May 9, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Society loves to tell us what to do and who to be; it shivers at the idea of nonconformity. We learn pretty quickly that we will be judged no matter if we follow the crowd or leave the pack behind to blaze our own trail, so it makes sense just to be ourselves. But what defines self?

The world is full of people following a path that doesn’t truly resonate with them; we need more people daring to express themselves in their unique way, regardless of what others may think about them.

Whether you feel that you’re being your authentic self or not, here are some reminders of why you should always allow your individuality to shine through.

“Be yourself – everyone else is already taken.” –Oscar Wilde

5 Reasons to Never Stop Being Your Authentic Self:

1. Life seems much easier.

Anytime you act inauthentically or make decisions that don’t serve your best interest, you become further detached from yourself. Life will seem more difficult because you oppose what your heart truly wants. When you stop thinking about what to be and BE, that allows you to tap into the natural flow of the universe, and life will start working with you, not against you.

Don’t try to label yourself, overthink your words or actions, or limit your expression; these will pull you back into the struggle many people feel because they stifle their uniqueness. As a child, you didn’t even think twice about what to say or do, you just lived. Adopt that same mentality today, and you will feel much freer and in alignment with your true essence.

2. You become a great example for others.

Once you fully love yourself and have no problem expressing that to the world, other people will notice. They may feel jealous of you and try to bring you down, but most people will probably look up to you and ask for your advice. By becoming who you were meant to be, you will encourage other people to do the same without speaking to them. People can feel when others are comfortable and happy with themselves, and it opens up a space for other people to be themselves. Do you see how impactful this can be? If everyone acted following their true nature, our world would reflect a more loving, conscious, vibrant reality.

3. Your genuine self will attract the right people.

When you strip away everything that no longer serves you and all the conditioning from your past about who you should be, you will start to notice that people on a similar vibration come into your world almost effortlessly. As this happens, people who you no longer mesh with will fall to the wayside, and friendships seem much more enjoyable.

People who have a firm grip on themselves and know what they want from life tend to have deeper, more meaningful connections with others because they have knocked down all the walls that once imprisoned them. They have freed themselves and naturally attract others who live with no limits.

4. You will discover your unique purpose by being your authentic self.

Everyone came here to accomplish something different, but unless you really know yourself, it will seem much more difficult to figure out your mission. However, as you go within more and let that inner voice speak to you, it will guide you to fulfilling your destiny without you really having to try. The key to being yourself is to not try, struggle, demand answers, beg, worry, and just BE. Then, as you surrender to the universe and rediscover your highest self, it will become very clear what you came here to do.

By not living authentically, you will probably work in a job you hate, thinking you have no way out. One huge motivator for being yourself should be getting to follow your purpose in life and not clocking in hours at a job that feels like drudgery to you.

5. You have more clarity to make better decisions.

If you live in any way that goes against your soul, you will probably make hurried, poor decisions about your life and end up feeling stuck. Stepping into your own light will lift the veil that once concealed the better parts of life, allowing you to make more informed decisions that align with your vibration.

When you give in to societal norms and follow the herd, you will probably put too much weight in other’s opinions rather than listening to what your own heart wants. For example, your family might want you to go to medical school because your dad is a doctor, and you know that isn’t your passion. But, you go anyway, because you believe that you will feel happier by satisfying them.

If you act in alignment with your true self, you would tell them that you don’t want to go to medical school because it won’t make you happy. That way, you can actually do what you want instead of living by other’s standards, even if they mean well.

10 Ways to Release Fear of Rejection

May 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.” – Bo Bennett

We’ve all been rejected in some way, whether by someone we asked to the homecoming dance in high school, by an employer we really wanted to work for, or even by our parents if they didn’t agree with our ideas.

Many people fear rejection, not only because it hurts, but because they put all their worth in others opinions of them. If this sounds like you, read on to find out how you can release the fear of rejection once and for all.

10 Ways to Release Fear of Rejection

1. Realize that your value doesn’t diminish just because others fail to see your worth.

You set your own value based on your thoughts about yourself – you set the stage for everything that happens in your life, and only YOU can decide to let others influence your emotions. Not everyone will like you; in fact, some of them might have intentions to tear you down from the get-go, whether out of jealousy or anger. However, you have to keep your head up anyway, and know that as long as you recognize your own worth, no one else can ever cast shadows over you.

2. Avoid conjuring up stories in your head about how a future event will play out.

How often do you play out scenarios in your head before they even happen? And, more often than not, the stories probably take a negative turn, leaving you feeling anxious, hopeless, and out of control. According to Psychology Today, there’s actually an explanation for those negative voices in your head, though.

Melanie Greenburg, Ph.D., says, “Psychologists believe these voices are residues of childhood experiences—automatic patterns of neural firing stored in our brains and dissociated from the memory of the events they are trying to protect us from.”

So, getting rid of those negative voices trying to warn you of perceived danger might seem difficult, but try to anchor yourself in the present moment and avoid sinking into the darker depths of childhood memories. Most fears develop there but no longer have relevance in our lives today.

3. Understand that rejection only exists to steer you to the right path.

You know Oprah, only one of the most successful talk show hosts in history? Yeah, she actually got fired from her first job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for TV.” And where did that lead her? Only to having her own talk show, magazine, and television channel, as well as authoring books and becoming one of the most successful female entrepreneurs in history.

Don’t ever give in to rejection; it can never win as long as you have the mental fortitude and passion to keep going.

4. Go deeper within to better understand yourself.

We often become affected by rejection because we don’t truly know ourselves. We have no sense of identity, and no connection to the cosmic world. When you develop more self-knowledge and understanding, you will have a better sense of your purpose here on Earth, and you will realize that others only reject what they can’t comprehend. So, rejection isn’t your problem; it’s theirs.

5. Stop seeking others for approval.

We reiterate this a lot on our website, but that’s only because approval-seeking behavior exists almost everywhere today. Most of us fall victim to it from time to time, but we can easily put an end to it by putting more worth in our own ideas and opinions than those of other people.

No one knows better than you how you should live your life, so of course, no one but you can unlock the door to your own destiny.

6. When you face rejection, do something positive immediately after.

Anytime you encounter rejection, put a positive spin on it by boosting your self-esteem. Go hang out with friends and family who love you, practice positive affirmations, or go out and play in nature; just do something to make your mind associate rejection with a more positive experience. That way, you won’t feel as crushed next time rejection comes knocking at your door.

7. Stop thinking of the worst-case scenario.

Our mind loves to come up with solutions to any and all problems, even if they don’t exist yet in the real world. However, you can take control of your mind by living in the here and now, and attracting more positive experiences into your life by first putting them into your head.

Whatever you think about the majority of the time will eventually happen, so try to instill more positive stories in your mind to replace the negative ones.

8. Realize that certain people or events just aren’t meant to be part of your journey.

Not everyone has a place in your spiritual journey here on Earth; the girl you have a crush on might just not be right for you, or not right now, anyway. Remember, life doesn’t always give you what you want, but it ALWAYS gives you what you need.

9. Work on loving yourself more.

Fear of rejection stems from a need for assurance and acceptance; if you don’t feel secure with yourself, you will always go to the next option – seeking it from others. It might seem difficult, but it all boils down to loving yourself unconditionally, as you are right at this moment. Make loving decisions for yourself, and develop a regular self-love practice.

Before you know it, your reliance on using other people for love will diminish, and you will actually be able to share all the love in your heart with others.

10. Start thinking of what you DO want, not what you don’t want.

Instead of focusing on everything that might go wrong, focus on what can go RIGHT. Your mind believes whatever you tell it to, so start believing in the good things coming. The more you dwell on rejection, the more you actually invite it into your life.

However, the more you give your attention to abundance, love, compassion, and connection, the more you will attract those positive forces into your life.

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Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!