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5 Great Lessons for Sensitive People

June 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Did you know that about 15-20% of the population is considered highly sensitive? It’s a significant part of the population so it can’t be considered a “condition. ” However, and the numbers of sensitive people aren’t large enough to make it common, so it isn’t quite understood.

Many people look at being sensitive as a defect or a hindrance because it doesn’t fit into societal norms of how one should act in public. On the contrary, sensitive people are more aware, more compassionate, more forgiving and often more driven.

Sensitive people believe things can be better and work hard to make it so. It is hard for a sensitive person to see suffering without trying to relieve the pain, to see heartache without expressing love and to see a challenge without problem-solving. The empathetic nature of a sensitive person is often invisible to most, and as such, is often ignored or misunderstood.

Sensitive people are often so giving of their time and energy that they forget to care for themselves. It’s an innate quality that can be difficult to navigate with outside influences establishing the expectations of how you should act.

“No matter who it is or how comfortable you are with someone, when anyone yells at you or talks down to you, you immediately erupt in tears.” –Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

To put things into perspective, here are 5 great lessons for sensitive people:

1. Embrace and control your emotional responses.

Sensitive people see the world differently and with that vision comes great power and responsibility. Because we feel what others are feeling, we often feel a moral obligation to help, and we react with bigger emotions and more rapid action. On the surface, this appears to be a good thing, an admirable trait.

There are many challenges with reacting to a situation in the heat of heightened emotion. The other person might not want help, we might not be able to provide the right kind of help or we might offer help that ends up doing more harm than good to them and us.

It’s not about the desire to help; it’s about understanding the true nature of any situation outside of the emotional connection that is felt. Take the time to think both logically and emotionally before jumping into action. Know the whole world can’t be saved no matter how hard we try. The responsibility comes in choosing our reactions wisely.

2. Listen and trust your inner guide to protect yourself.

Sensitive people have a strong intuition that comes from a heightened awareness of what is happening around us. Unfortunately, though, we don’t always pay attention to what our gut is telling us.

Because of our highly sensitive nature, we tend to be more trusting and more willing to take people at their word. There are people that will take advantage of that, and that is why listening to our inner guide is so important.

It is this inner source of wisdom that protects us and warns us to tread carefully when you feel uncertainty creeping in. As sensitive people, we are so focused on helping that we often ignore the warning signs our inner guide provides. Pay attention to your gut as closely as you pay attention to your desire to help others. Doing so will help you help yourself which better positions you to help others.

3. Stay focused on the things that really matter.

Because we are so aware and absorb so much of the energy that surrounds us, it is easy to lose our focus and take on other people’s problems as if they are our own. It’s important that we stay focused on the things that matter in our lives first and avoid over-committing ourselves to the point of overwhelming.

We are quick to say yes but upon contemplation, we might realize we are not the best person for the task at hand. This can lead to over-complicating and overthinking a situation to the point that it becomes detrimental to our responsibilities. The lesson here is to keep our priorities first, help when it makes sense and find other resources when necessary.

4. Being sensitive is not the same as being weak.

People who aren’t as sensitive as we are may interpret our ability to empathize and feel like a weakness. The truth is, it takes great inner strength to feel the constant joy, sadness and even heartache of those around us. This is not a burden we choose to carry but a gift in which we were entrusted.

The key to using our gift with purpose, and in service to others, is to rely on that inner strength. It’s that strength that helps us to stay strong and keep from internalizing the energy that is so easy for us to absorb. It gives us the fortitude to use the energy we encounter and repurpose it back into the universe with grace and positivity and encourage others.

5. Be courageous and continue to live from your authentic truth.

The biggest lesson for sensitive people is to not let others who might not understand our gift change us. It is often easier to hide our sensitive side than to be judged by it. Continue to live your truth and be proud of your sensitive nature. It is who we are, and the Universe needs us to share it. Doing so will create a more loving, kind and peaceful world.

Always remember being sensitive is a gift and even the greatest gifts can be a burden at times. Remember these lessons to keep you grounded in your true nature while honoring yourself and those your gift serves.

(C) 2015 – Power of Positivity.com. All rights reserved

10 Ways to Deal With Irrational People

June 20, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It’s hard to believe there is someone out there that hasn’t dealt with an irrational person and even been irrational themselves. When we are irrational, there are usually other things in play behind the scenes. Irrational behavior happens when we’ve reached the tipping point, and we have to just let it out.

Even though we all experience our version of irrational behavior from time to time and it is understandable, it doesn’t make it easy to deal with someone who is acting irrationally. We might get it, but we don’t have to like it.

Here are 10 ways to deal with irrational people:

1. Listen and Let Them Vent

The best way to diffuse irrational thinking and behavior is to listen as they vent. Sometimes just listening is the hardest part because our natural tendency is to point out the irrational thinking. Doing so will only to increase the emotions of the situation, so it’s important to bite our tongue and listen earnestly. Sometimes, just knowing they are being heard is all that is needed.

2. Make a Personal Connection

An “us” versus “you” mentality will only encourage the person to dig in their heels and stand firm. Try making a personal connection by using their name and making them feel like an individual. Making someone feel special and giving them a platform where they feel respected is an important step in lessening the tension.

3. Summarize What You Heard

When dealing with irrational people, it is really important to them that their message, complaint or opinion is understood. Start by summarizing what you heard to make sure you both are on the same page. This is a great starting point to begin the next steps in solving the situation.

4. Stay Calm

It is very easy to get caught up in the emotions of a situation. Don’t do it. Focus on staying calm and take the time you need to respond in a thoughtful and respectful manner. When you respond with anger, often more irrational behavior will ensue, completely blowing things out of proportion. Calmly hear them out and then help them to calm down too.

5. Pay Attention to Your Word Choice

When trying to talk with someone who is in a heightened emotional state, the words we choose to use can be the difference between handling the situation and escalating it. Choose positive words like, “I will remember” instead of “I won’t forget.” Another tip is to try and make sure to avoid using “you” except when talking about what you are hearing from them. For instance, “what I hear you saying is …” comes across as respectful. On the other hand, “you said …,” can come across as a bit accusatory even though it isn’t meant to be.

6. Be Empathetic in Coping With Irrational People

Remember there is usually more to the story. They may have just received some bad news or maybe they are in the midst of a huge life-changing event. Regardless, be empathetic and put yourself in their shoes. Try to understand what is the key issue and just be there to help them work through it. Knowing someone is on their side is needed to help them relax and come back to a place of calm.

7. Ask Questions

Asking questions shows interest in their dilemma. It shows care, respect, and interest in what they are going through. Gathering information by asking questions serves a dual purpose. First, it allows you to get a true assessment of the situation and secondly it gives you some time to determine the best course of action in a positive way and not in a reactionary one.

8. Detach Yourself From The Situation

During any irrational situation, it’s necessary to remember that irrational thoughts and actions are about them, not about us. When we begin to internalize what is being said, is when things get blown out of proportion. We should strive to be supportive and engaged without making it about us.

9. Be Prepared to Compromise

“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.” – Ludwig Erhard

It is often the art of the compromise that soothes a tense situation. We should start any compromise knowing our bottom line and theirs. Then it’s up to us to somehow find a way to meet somewhere in the middle. We will know more about what sort of compromise might work if we have taken the time to listen and ask questions.

10. And Finally, Recognize Sometimes There is No Winning With Irrational People

It is important to know that there are some irrational behaviors and requests that may not have a resolution. Do what you can but it’s important not to compromise your principles or values to accommodate someone else’s irrational thinking. At some point, you may have to agree to disagree and be prepared to walk away.

On the surface dealing with irrational behavior can seem a daunting task but with a few important steps, it can become quite manageable. And when it becomes apparent that there is no solution to the situation, we should be prepared to walk respectfully away.

10 Signs You’re an “Indigo Child”

June 19, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The idea of indigo children has often been dismissed as a pseudoscientific, incredulous notion, but many of us on Earth right now just feel “different” in some way we can’t usually explain. Anderson Cooper from CNN even did a special report on indigo children, and a documentary partially produced by Doreen Virtue called “The Indigo Evolution” was released in more than 350 churches and wellness centers in 2006.

More and more people have been awakening to their true nature and realizing that they have incarnated on this Earth during these transitional times in order to offer their gifts to the world and leave it a better place.

In the documentary, Hopi Elders revealed that we can still reverse the damage we have done to the planet. And, we can still create a new world founded on love and peace. However, that can only occur if we all realize our Oneness. Then, they continued on to say that the indigo children will play a critical role in the Earth’s healing.

So, how do you know if you are an indigo child? These 10 signs will give you the answer:

1. You were born in the year 1978 or later, but possess wisdom beyond your years.

You are aware of the true nature of the world that lies in secrecy behind this current paradigm of monetary gain, greed, power, machinery, war, poverty, etc. Because you understand that this world offers so much more than we have been led to believe, you often feel that you have incarnated here many times before, aka an “old soul.”

2. You are strong-willed, independent, and don’t respond to authority.

You like to think for yourself, come up with your own answers, and live life by your own set of rules. Because of your inherent need to follow your own path and reject conventional teachings, you have been deemed a “troublemaker” or “problem child” in the past.

3. You are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD due to social or attention problems.

In school, constantly disobeying authority figures, non-conformance to social conditioning, and extreme boredom or aloofness to the subjects taught in institutionalized schools. People often misunderstand you and wonder why you can’t just follow the program and do as you’re told. However, you see many things horribly wrong with today’s society, and would never dream of fitting into a world so blind to the truth.

4. You are extremely creative and eccentric

You love to draw, write, paint, dance, or express yourself somehow through the arts. Furthermore, you felt stifled in school. Indeed, you wished that you could just spend time following your passions instead of listening to boring lectures.

5. You feel socially isolated and may not have very many close friendships.

You feel that you just can’t relate very well to others because of their inability to see beyond the veil. Therefore, you would rather spend your time alone bonding with nature or working on your creative and intuitive gifts. You know that people who came to change the world must walk a difficult path, but it will be well worth it in the end.

6. You have a high IQ and a keen intuition.

You often experience sensory overload in bright, noisy environments, and crave total peace and quiet in nature when you find yourself in these situations. You’ve likely been drawn to the term “empath” because of your unique psychic abilities and problems functioning in very crowded, loud, and chaotic environments. You may have been diagnosed with anxiety or depression because of this.

7. You reject social norms and long for people to see the truth.

You have no patience with the scripted life of buying, selling, going to school, getting a job, and just becoming a number in a computer. Additionally, you could care less about the status quo. Besides, you often blaze your own trails in life despite popular opinion. You know that just because everyone does something, doesn’t make it right.

8. Many people have misunderstood you.

Perhaps others called you entitled, selfish, or unruly in the past. Your parents or teachers just didn’t understand that your spiritual and emotional needs weren’t being met. You go within and enjoy solitude much of the time due to feeling misunderstood. You have a high sense of self-worth and know that your personal needs matter more than satisfying authority figures who don’t take the time to understand you.

9. You bond well with other animals and feel immense compassion for all creatures.

Because you have realized that all life on this planet is sacred, you chose the vegan/vegetarian lifestyle at an early age.

10. Above all, you just have an intense longing to make this world a better place.

You have an unstoppable determination to bring about lasting changes despite all the challenges you face. You want to create a world where all life can thrive. And, you won’t listen to anyone who tries to stop you from your grand mission of healing this Earth.

Don’t ever feel alone on your spiritual path; many of us have identified as indigo children, and we all have an unbreakable connection to one another. Remember this any time you feel lonely or confused because all of our collective efforts matter in the end. Any act of kindness or friendship you offer to others will always lift the vibration of this planet, and if you can make one person smile or feel loved, you have done your part.

Watch the Documentary, “The Indigo Evolution” here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxvriVUk_5A

11 Signs of A True Friendship

June 17, 2015 by Power of Positivity

With the days of having hundreds of Facebook “friends” upon us, real friendships built on respect, a common bond, and shared memories seem to be few and far between in the modern world. We can instantly connect with anyone online, but does that make them a tried and true friend?

On the other hand, the friends you thought you could count on in real life can turn out to be just as distant, flaky, and unreliable as people you’ve connected within the cyber world. Studies show that even if people have thousands of Facebook friends, they usually only maintain close relationships with a few people in real life.

So, how can you ensure that these friendships you have invested so much in emotionally are authentic?

Here are 11 telltale signs of your true friendships:

1. They accept everything about you, including your flaws.

They don’t want to change you. In fact, true friendships mean they embrace everything about you, from your quirks and flaws to your best personality traits. That doesn’t mean they must like or agree with everything you say and do mainly, but they don’t bash you or try to alter your personality. You feel like you can breathe a big sigh of relief around them. That’s because in a sea of billions of people, you’ve found one who sees the positive things about you even when you don’t see them yourself.

2. They stick with you through both the good and bad times.

This one probably best distinguishes a fake friend from a real one; in hard times, a true friend would never dream of leaving you in the shadows alone. Instead, they offer to help you however they can and bring you back into the light again. Fake friends often bail on you because they only wanted to stick around when things went well for you, and felt like helping you through your problems was a burden for them.

3. They are happy about your successes and congratulate you when you reach a new goal.

Fake friends feel jealous and contemptuous when you achieve something exciting, but true friends will celebrate your accomplishments with you. To know if you’re dealing with an authentic friendship or not, notice who sticks around when you reach new heights in your life. Some people will try to tear you down, but the real friends in your life will feel happy for you.

4. You feel totally comfortable around them, and they probably know things about you that many others don’t.

They know your best-kept secrets, wildest dreams, and the unique quirks you only share with people you feel most comfortable around. Plus, they know all the details about your love life, your most cherished childhood memories, and all those embarrassing stories that you wouldn’t share with just anyone. They want to know you to your core, not just on the surface. This separates a true friend from a fake one in many ways.

5. True friendships meet you halfway – they don’t expect you always to be the one to reach out to them.

You don’t have to call or text whenever you want to meet. They also show interest in hanging out with you and will contact you often to catch up. You don’t feel like you must chase them to keep them in your life – they put equal effort into your friendship, and make time to see you. They don’t only talk to you when it’s convenient; they reach out to you because they genuinely care about you as a friend and want you in their life.

6. They make you feel happier and more alive, not drained and stressed.

After seeing them, you feel more rejuvenated, vibrant, and excited about life, not the opposite. Authentic friendships will be a perfect energetic match between two people; otherwise, one person will be giving the other one energy, which means that you have an energy vampire on your hands. To know if you have a true friendship with someone, pay attention to how you feel after meeting up with them. A real friend will make you feel good about yourself and life, not depressed and uninspired.

7. They tell you the truth about things, even if you may not want to hear it.

Authentic friends tell you what you want to hear; they never sugarcoat anything just to appease you. They tell you the truth, even if it may hurt. And, you’ve learned to appreciate this, because not many other people in your life will cut to the chase and tell it like it is. They tell you the truth not to cut you down, but to help you make the right choices and become a better person.

8. They forgive you and don’t blow things out of proportion when you make a mistake.

Don’t expect perfection from true friendships; they won’t expect it from you. Plus, you don’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them to gain their approval. They know that you will slip up from time to time, and you don’t have to give a long apology. They just put it behind them and know that you have good intentions despite your mistakes.

9. Real friendships mean they don’t talk about you behind your back.

Real friends NEVER gossip about you when you leave the room. Indeed, they act like adults and confront you personally if they need to talk to you. They respect you enough to not spread rumors and tarnish your reputation behind your back; they would instead smooth things over with you and have a rational discussion face-to-face.

10. They allow you to have other friendships without getting jealous and possessive.

Real friends feel confident enough in your friendship that they don’t have to resort to jealousy and trying to control your life. They give you the freedom to pursue other friendships and activities because they know your friendship is rock solid. They realize you don’t have to be in their company 24/7 to validate the friendship.

11. You have so many inside jokes and funny memories with them that you’ve lost count.

You have such a close friendship with them that you’ve spent countless hours together just being silly and laughing about nothing, and in turn, you’ve created so many unforgettable memories that will last a lifetime.

Final Thoughts on Fostering True Friendships

Like any relationship, friendships take an investment of your time and care. However, the real sign that tells you that you have a friend for life is when you find that you actually enjoy that time spent and look forward to the next time you connect.

5 Positive Thinking Tales You Should Never Believe

June 17, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Positive thought can be credited with reshaping our society and our lives. Unfortunately for those that don’t understand it, there is a lot of misinformation out there. It isn’t easy to buy into the fact that positive thought creates better lives when your thoughts keep returning to a place of negativity.

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?” ~C. JoyBell

Someone who doesn’t have a true understanding of positive thought will either believe wholeheartedly in it or discount it altogether. Like most things, the truth lies somewhere in between. Positive thinking doesn’t make everything better; it helps you to know you can make things better by taking action and making better choices.

Shunning the idea of how powerful positive thought is usually from people who are afraid of the unknown. They want to feel like they are in control and believe that somehow they will be required to give up that control and just blindly believe.

The contrary is true. Positive thinking helps you center your focus and action on things you can change while learning to accept and let go of the things you can’t. It prevents you from dwelling in a space where you can’t affect positive change giving you more time to do the important things.

With so many myths about positive thinking, it is important to understand that it isn’t about looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. Positive thinkers are realistic and have a thorough understanding of what is going on around them. They just choose to look at things differently.

To help see things from the perspective of those who practice a lifestyle around positive thinking, here are five positive thinking myths that you should never believe.

5 positive thinking myths you should never believe:

1. Positive thinking encourages big dreams that aren’t achievable.

Positive people are more in tune with their goals and the steps needed to get there. They might dream big, but they know how to put in the work to achieve their ultimate goals. Positive people are also able to change course as needed, knowing it is part of life.

2. Positive thinkers close their eyes to the world’s suffering.

On the contrary, positive thinkers work to address the world’s suffering whether on a local or global scale. There is no argument that there are some terrible things happening in the world, but living in a state of misery in an attempt to relate to it doesn’t help anyone. Remaining positive and focusing on solving problems is how positive thinkers address the world’s suffering.

3. Positivity holds victims responsible for their situation.

Acknowledging that limitations and illness exist doesn’t mean the fault lies with the patients and victims of such circumstances. In fact, it is the power of our brains to handle adversity and move forward that is at the heart of positive thinking. It isn’t about blaming the victim, it’s knowing you have the power to give them a helping hand.

4. Positive thinking is just a nicety.

Understanding the influence of our thoughts on our lives has been explored for centuries. There have been hundreds of studies on the effect of positive thinking, and there is substantial proof that positive thinking can potentially change lives for the better. Positive thinking isn’t just something that people do, it has the power to change your view on life, and therefore, life itself.

5. Positive thinking does not shape our reality.

For the past century-and-a-half, roughly since the dawn of what we know to be modern clinical study, our conceptions of the mind have always expanded, and never receded. Our thoughts are far from the only influence on our lives, but we may be just at the beginning of understanding their power.

Being positive all the time might be nice but it isn’t necessarily reality. Like so much in life, attaining goals and showing empathy requires a balanced and moderate approach with a constant positive perspective behind it that neither dwells on the downsides or forces a jump for joy.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Positive thinking gives you the power of believing things can change. Even if the face of adversity, suffering, and general discontent, positive thinkers know they can affect change around them and in turn change lives. They aren’t disappointed because they can’t “change the world” because they are content to change their world, knowing that it will ultimately change the world around them.

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5 Ways to Help Overcome Social Anxiety

June 15, 2015 by Power of Positivity

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, social anxiety disorder affects 6.8% of the U.S. population. That total equals out to a staggering 15 million people. Social anxiety goes beyond just a tendency to act shy around others. Indeed, it can completely debilitate the sufferer. The disease makes it almost impossible to enjoy social situations. People with social anxiety have an extreme fear of being judged or ridiculed by others. Moreover, everyday life can become a constant battle.

Many people who suffer from social anxiety feel powerless against their emotions and symptoms. However, the following simple practices can make a world of difference when you start feeling anxious in social situations.

Here are 5 Ways to Help Overcome Social Anxiety:

1. Try not to have an “all or nothing” mindset.

Justin Weeks, Ph.D, an assistant professor of psychology and director of the Center for Evaluation and Treatment of Anxiety at Ohio University, said “Dispute both bleak thoughts that undermine your performance and fuel your anxiety, and equally unrealistic thoughts that are irrationally positive.”

What does this mean? Basically, you should practice retraining your brain to not automatically think of the worst-case scenario, but also not get your hopes up too high. Having the mindset of a “realistic optimist” can make life exponentially easier. That’s because you won’t have unrealistic expectations. However, you also won’t dwell on every little thing that might go wrong.

2. Gradually increase your exposure to social situations.

This is what therapists call cognitive-behavioral therapy. And if you do choose to see a therapist, he or she can help you through the necessary steps of feeling more comfortable in public.

Dr. Weeks said it best: “We avoid what frightens us, and in turn, are frightened by what we avoid.”

The longer you evade social encounters, the more the fear will build up in your mind. Of course, gradual exposure will ease you into the situation so you don’t become overwhelmed, so try to first imagine yourself conquering your fear. Picture yourself assuredly delivering a speech in front of your class, or confidently walking up to a group of people at a party, or even just having a relaxed conversation at your home with friends.

While you imagine this scenario, don’t focus on how others might perceive you. Just picture what you would ideally look, feel, and sound like if you felt totally comfortable in this social situation that you fear. Then, just go from there. Talk to your barista at the local coffee shop when you stop by. Or go out with a trusted family member or friend to somewhere that makes you feel anxious, like a grocery store or mall.

It might feel uncomfortable or scary at first, but conquering the fears that you have implanted in your brain is a very necessary step on the path to recovery. Make sure to practice positive affirmations along your journey, because a positive mindset is a key to overcoming any challenge, no matter how big or small.

3. Practice deep breathing and meditation exercises.

An emerging body of research continues to prove that mindfulness can ease symptoms, or even completely reverse, social anxiety disorders. People who suffer from any form of anxiety focus their attention entirely on the future – how people will react to what they say, what people will think of them, if people will notice their blushing face or shaky hands in a group setting, etc. However, meditation and deep breathing exercises teach them to bring their attention back to the present moment and think of nothing else but their own breath.

After practicing this for a few weeks or months, it becomes second nature, and they can use these valuable tools when talking to people, giving a speech, or anything else that requires interaction with people.

4. Join a support group for social anxiety.

Oftentimes, people who suffer from mental disorders feel isolated, misunderstood, and abandoned. However, social groups catered to people with similar issues or backgrounds can make sufferers feel like they belong somewhere, and that people do understand what they’re going through. Research local support groups on Facebook or maybe even your area’s Chamber of Commerce website for more information.

5. Avoid focusing your attention inward as often.

As you may have heard before, we are our own worst critics. We analyze ourselves more than other people ever will. Thus, we create a lot of anxiety in our heads about how we appear to others. Some might call this “hyper-analyzing,” and it can become a very toxic practice if you make it a habit. To free yourself from these incessant thoughts, try to instead shift your focus to your current environment.

Listen to others fully when they speak to you, instead of wondering what you will say or fearing how you look or sound to others. Notice the color of the paint on the walls. Or observe how the smiles on others’ faces brighten up the room. Taking the attention off yourself for a while doesn’t mean that you don’t matter. Instead, it just gives you a chance to take in the entirety of a situation, rather than just your role in that situation.

These practices allow you to embrace the full experience of life instead of just a fraction of it spent inside your mind. Enjoy the life awaiting you with open, loving arms. You are valuable and deserve to live it!

How to Make A Vision Board

June 14, 2015 by Power of Positivity

You may have wondered a time or two if vision boards work. Well they do, and the reason is simple – your brain will work to expand what is in your subconscious. Meaning if you glance at your vision board throughout the day, it will remain in your subconscious and, as a result, your brain will go to work in order to make it a reality.

A vision board is your image of the future. It represents your hopes, dreams, and goals for your life. The saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words” support the fact our mind responds most strongly to visual stimulation. Pictures along with your emotions are powerful motivators to achieving your dream life.

Ready to create a vision board? Here’s how:

1. Determine Your Vision Board Format.

Vision boards don’t always have to be a physical board; it might be your computer’s screensaver, background on your phone or pages in your planner. Observe your actions throughout the day and determine the best place for this board to be in your view frequently.

Some vision board formats to consider:

– A poster

– A Pinterest board

– An art journal

– Planner pages

– String and clothespins

– An inspiration wall

– A deck of cards

– A screensaver

2. Establish Your Goals

Your vision board can represent the dreams for your future life, or it may focus on just one area. Understand what you want to achieve and highlight the specifics. Be selective as you begin to craft your vision, avoiding clutter and chaos by moving forward with a sense of clarity.

3. Gather Images

Use images from your photo albums, magazines, the internet, artwork – anything that speaks to you. Make copies of original photographs and artwork to preserve them.

As you begin to gather images, use images that best represent not only the ultimate goal but the emotions and feelings around the goal.

Make sure and include pictures of yourself from a happy time on your board and include words, affirmations or inspirational quotes that resonate with you and support your goals.

Collect freely. It is better to have too many images than not enough.

4. Create Your Layout

Start creating some structure for your board. You can physically draw spaces on your board or digitally mark the space on your visual image. Write each goal in the sections you created.

Make sure the amount of space and placement of each goal is relative to the importance of your goal. For instance, your most important goal might have more space and be centered in comparison to less important goals.

5. Sort and Arrange Your Images

Go through your images, quotes, words and decide what belongs where. You should have way more than you will ever use, and that is okay. A few clear and concise images will serve you better than too many images that are distracting. You could save them for later use.

6. Create Your Collage

Be very selective on the images you are using. Make sure they adequately represent your goal and your feelings about the goal. You may still find yourself eliminating images as you work through this stage.

Trim your images and begin to layer your words and quotes with corresponding images. As you are arranging the images, trim to make them fit better or bring something into focus. Continue moving and trimming your images until you have a board you love.

7. Personalize It

Glue down your images or save the digital version. Add some doodles, hand-written text or other personal touches. You can even make a physical version and then take a picture of it to use digitally.

8. Display It

Find a place to display your new vision board where you will see it regularly. Creating it is an important part of the process because it clarifies your goals but seeing it regularly is just as important. So make sure it is front and center and share it with your friends so they can support your vision.

9. Review It Daily

Seeing the board every day is great but take it one step further by reviewing it every day. Feel the emotion of the achievement, pause and think about what actions you are taking to support your goals and what you can do next. Keeping your vision in the forefront of your mind will help you do the things that will propel you forward towards your goals.

As your dreams begin to manifest, recognize your achievements and acknowledge that it’s working. When you are ready for a new set of goals, create a new board leaving this one intact. Don’t tear down all the good work you have done.

While we have provided guidelines for creating your vision board, there is only one rule to remember: create a visual reminder that makes your heart smile and makes you feel good. In the end, that is the only thing you need to remember.

7 Negative Thought Patterns You Should Never Tolerate

June 14, 2015 by Power of Positivity

At the root of our overwhelmed life and often the cause of our unhappiness, unhealthy and negative thought patterns can be found. It’s common knowledge that negative thinking creates a reality based on negativity. What might surprise you, though is there’s a core group of unhealthy, negative thought patterns that contribute to that reality.

Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, recently published an article on the effects of positive thoughts on the actions we take and the skills we develop. What she found was that negative thoughts and unhealthy thinking patterns can prevent your brain from seeing solutions and other choices when solving a problem. The bottom line is negative thought patterns can impair our survival instinct.

The good news is these unhealthy negative thought patterns can be overcome, and the first step is becoming aware of them. Here are seven common unhealthy thought patterns and how to fix them.

7 Common Negative Thought Patterns (and How to Fix Them)

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Any thought pattern that you base on extremes can signify trouble. Statements like, “it must be perfect,” or “I can’t do anything right,” only serve to prevent you from compromise and success. The more we believe the all-or-nothing thoughts, the more unhappy our reality becomes.

The Fix

Recognize and extreme statements and reframe them into a statement based on fact. For instance, the common phrase, “I can’t do anything right” is better reframed as “I do not understand what I am doing and I need to find help so I can learn to do it better next time.”

2. Jumping to Conclusions

Assuming the worst without the facts is a classic example of being in a negative thought pattern. These assumptions are a great example of why questioning your thoughts is necessary to interrupt the pattern. In most cases, your worries and fears are unfounded, and you end up worrying about nothing.

The Fix

It’s important to stop jumping to the end of the story and instead allow the story to play out. When you stay in the present, the situation always ends up being less dire.

3. Emotional Reasoning

According to your mind, feelings are facts, rather than subjective perceptions that change over time. For example, feelings of guilt might mean you’re a terrible, selfish person and being afraid of something means you’re in real danger. That is why it’s important to understand and work through your feelings.

The Fix

It’s necessary to question our thoughts to determine if they are real or perceived. Once we have gathered the facts, then we can create a plan of action to deal with them using both logic and feelings to guide us.

4. Should Statements

You feel disappointed, guilty, frustrated or angry when things don’t go the way you had hoped or expected. Self-talk commonly includes words such as should, must, have to and ought to. It also contributes to having unrealistic expectations for ourselves, we demand a lot and get upset when falling short. “I should have done” … will get you nowhere.

The Fix

Try avoiding the use of the words: “should,” “what if,” and “have to.” Instead, focus on changing and improving the things we can change and learning to accept the rest. You don’t owe explanations to others for most of your actions.

5. Personalization

We personalize matters when we blame ourselves for results that are out of our control. We make the lack of results about us instead of about the action that caused the results.

The Fix

We should focus on actions and behaviors and what we can change, instead of focusing on ourselves, or any person for that matter.

6. Playing the Victim

When we play the victim, we blame others for the bad things that happen in our life. Nobody can do anything right, and if it weren’t for them we would be more successful, wealthier, happier, in a better relationship, or you name it. It is easier to place blame on someone or something else than to accept responsibility for our part.

The Fix

We can start looking at our role in challenging situations so we can grow from the experience.

7. Future-Focused

We are future-focused when we feel everything will be better someday in the future when the conditions are perfect. We convince ourselves we will be happier when we are healthier, skinnier, richer, in a job we love, or out of school. It can be anything that is a condition for our future happiness.

The Fix

Change our focus to what we can do today to be happier tomorrow.

When we begin to recognize and change your unhealthy thought patterns, by default we are choosing to seek joy, be optimistic and move forward. When we do that, our brain starts to adapt and will build on those positive patterns.

Finding ways to reframe our thoughts from an unhealthy negative perspective to a positive influence will help us bring the lessons of the past into the present and will move us into living a happier life.

20 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone

June 13, 2015 by Power of Positivity

How many things in your day do you do because you feel you should? Well, honestly, the word “should” should be eliminated from our vocabulary. The things we “should” do take us away from the things that matter, the things we must do to live our best and happiest life. Add to that the word “owe.” You don’t owe certain things to others.

When we stop doing things because we feel we should and start defining the boundaries around what will add value to our lives, we can get on with living our lives.

The biggest thing we need to stop doing is explaining our decisions to others in hopes of their support. We should be confident enough that someone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.

In fact, we all judge even when we try our hardest not to. That occurs because we watch people, form opinions, and make assumptions based entirely on their observations. So it’s no surprise that we assume other people are judging us. Knowing judgment is happening all around us; we must explain ourselves to make sure people see us as we want to be seen constantly.

Fine is not always really fine

“Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.” – Elbert Hubbard

How often have you pretended to feel fine and tried to convince someone of this fact even though it is clear you don’t feel fine at all? We’ve all done it. Instead of faking fine, try being real without apologizing or explaining. Give yourself the freedom to … Just. Be. Human. Everyone has imperfections, why bother to hide it?

Explaining takes your power and gives it to the other person. The best decisions come when we listen to our feelings and gut instinct. But those sources aren’t usually well received in an explanation, so we make up an explanation the other person can relate to.

Unfortunately, many of us need to explain even though we know we shouldn’t. An explainer is waiting for someone else’s approval, and there is a lot of wasted energy in the waiting. During this waiting period, doubt creeps in; depression begins to expand, and unhappiness takes root. Waiting is wasted time.

When we explain, we move away from our greatest source of wisdom – our inner guide. We stop honoring ourselves and start placing more importance on the other person.

It’s hard to overcome the tendency to explain, but it can be done with focus and intention. Awareness is the key.

To help you become more aware, here are 20 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for.

Justification for your values and your priorities.
A yes when you want to say no.
An explanation for your relationships, whether lovers or friends.
Assistance with their happiness journey at the cost of your own.
A debate around your political views, especially when the other person’s mind is made up.
An apology when you are not sorry, and you would make the same decision again.
A rationalization about why investing in yourself is important
The meaning of what you believe in.
A change in your appearance to please them.
Friendship, especially when they do not share your values.
A negative mindset so that you can commiserate with them.
The access granted to information about your life that makes you uncomfortable
Gossip material or unkind comments about other people just to fit in.
Your time for their projects or for things that matter to them unless they matter to you too.
The commitment to try something “new” just because you were asked.
A safe place for constant complaining and dwelling in their poor choices.
An answer other than the truth to prevent them from being uncomfortable.
Your services as a crisis counselor unless you are actually a crisis counselor.
False or undeserved compliments to make them feel better.
Anything that doesn’t make you feel good and goes against your gut instinct.

Just remember this when you’re unsure if you owe someone:

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” – Wayne Dyer

and then remember this:

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove.” – Maya Angelou

The next time you are tempted to justify something, remember that you can’t control what other people think. You can only control what you think and how you feel. If you are confident with your decisions then an explanation isn’t really necessary.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!