Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

5 Signs You’re In A Manipulative Relationship

We hope that you never have to experience being in a manipulative relationship, but since many of us will experience a breakup with the wrong person at sometime in our lives, it’s possible that you already have. In this article, we will look at the five signs that you are in a manipulative relationship. Therefore, you can recognize it and get out before it is too late.

5 Signs You’re In A Manipulative Relationship

A manipulative person is basically a narcissistic personality who knows how to get what they want from you. Narcissistic Personality Disorder as defined by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th edition:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.

The 5th, and most recent edition adds the following:

1. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):

a. Empathy: Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others; excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self; over- or underestimate of own effect on others.

b. Intimacy: Relationships largely superficial and exist to serve self-esteem regulation; mutuality constrained by little genuine interest in others’ experiences and predominance of a need for personal gain

Here are 5 other warning signs that the narcissistic person you are in a relationship with is trying to manipulate you.

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1. You don’t control much in your own life

A manipulative partner will make it their mission to take away any power that you have in the relationship. They do this by taking control of the bank account, the car, the legal documents, the passwords and accounts, the cell phone and anything else that they think gives you any level of control.

2. Your partner is rarely nurturing or supportive

Researchers at the Department of Psychology at the University of Arizona studied the ideal romantic partner personality. They found that ‘Individuals sought mates that were matches of themselves to some degree (a concept that we termed aspirational positive assortative mating) but also sought mates that were somewhat higher in Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Mate Value, but lower in Neuroticism than themselves.’

We tend to like a romantic partner who is very similar to ourselves and the research also mentions that this is true for manipulative people. A person who is cold, detached, manipulative, and exploitative, rather than nurturing and supportive is a personality known as a Machiavellian personality type. The University of Arizona researchers say that a heterosexual woman who is manipulative also tends to prefer a male partner who is also manipulative.

3. Your partner does not seem committed to you

Researchers at the University of Alabama, in cooperation with the University of Florida and the University of Georgia studied narcissism, sexuality, and relationship commitment found that a manipulative or narcissistic personality tends to be overly sexually promiscuous since they see people as conquests, and as a result, they are not committed to the relationship.

If you suspect your partner of infidelity and they don’t seem to be sorry for their behavior, it is a sign you’re in a manipulative relationship. A lack of being able to feel a deep, loving commitment is a sign of a manipulative relationship. Your partner may say the right words, but actions will always speak louder than words.

You may feel that they have not been behaving in a loving way toward you and the truth is that manipulative people and narcissists are able to pretend to love, but don’t really experience it the way that a psychologically healthy person does. When you end up leaving this person, which may be inevitable, they will not be likely to cry or mourn the relationship like you will.

4. Your partner has difficulty handling their emotions

You may notice that your partner moves quickly from one emotion to another and that although you can tell how they feel by observing their facial expressions and behavior, they don’t seem to know that they are having a feeling. Manipulative people are uncomfortable with emotions and they may repress or deny them or act out when they feel them.

Poorly handling anger, frustration, sadness, and anxiety is a sign of a poorly adjusted personality and these types of people can tend toward violent behavior when they feel an emotion that they don’t know how to handle. They may bottle up emotions until they burst out with insulting words, aggressive language, threats, or destructive behavior.

Your safety is a concern if you are in a manipulative relationship so be sure to tread lightly with this person. Avoiding conflict is probably your best bet until you can make sure that you can safely leave the relationship and get help by calling the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visiting their website for resources.

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5. You find yourself doing things that you don’t enjoy

A manipulative person has a goal of moving you around like a puppet to do what they want, but never what you want to do. If you feel like you rarely get to enjoy things anymore, but that your partner is always calling the shots and saying what you will be doing, you may be in a manipulative relationship.

8 Behaviors of Parents That Keep Children From Being Successful

Parents work hard to raise children that will be successful. However, it is important to understand any parenting behaviors that may hold children back from reaching their full potential. In this article, we’ve uncovered 8 unintentional parenting behaviors that can keep children from being fully developed, thriving, adults.

Parents of all kinds can raise successful children, it truly is an even playing field and many stories have proven this. Even children who were raised in abusive homes can become amazing adults who go on to be excellent artists, writers, professors, athletes, scientists, philosophers, or exceptional leaders in any field that they choose.

What makes a successfully raised child is debatable, but we know that resilience is a key trait for healthy adults to possess and it can be learned in childhood. Whatever you teach or don’t teach your children, be sure to help them to learn how to bounce back from minor and major setbacks, because they are an inevitable part of life.

Parents have good intentions but do make mistakes, as we all do. Be kind to yourself if you make an error, but let your child know about it and use it as a learning opportunity with them. Let’s look at 8 of the parenting behaviors that keep children from being successful.

8 Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Being Successful

Many people can recall ways in which their own parents behaved that did not help them be successful adult. They may wish for a different childhood. But the guilt or shame that parents may unintentionally leave with children is not what any parent wants their own children to experience. Avoiding these eight behaviors is important to set children up for success.

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1. Discouraging trying new things

One parenting behavior that can hold children back from being successful is discouraging them from trying a new skill. Sometimes, parents have the best intentions in restricting behavior, when they have a reasonable belief that their child will fail. However, failure is also a part of life, and learning to deal with it in a positive way is important for success later in life.

2. Over-Coddling

Doing any chore for your children that they are capable of doing, and should be doing in order to be a well-functioning adult, is a parenting behavior that keeps children from being successful. An example of over-coddling would be doing laundry children when they are teenagers (or even young adults).

3. Praising small things

Believe it or not, overly praising children can keep them from being successful. Praising small accomplishments that children have mastered is not going to motivate them to keep driving themselves to accomplish more and more. For example, praising an 8-year old for dressing themselves is not encouraging them to do this behavior on their own without praise. Focusing praise on the significant accomplishments that children make, for example, in their educational performance does hold importance, however.

4. Discouraging friendships

Researchers reviewed the prior research on maladaptive parenting behaviors and found that positive outcomes for successful children included parents who helped their children create effective social networks. A strong social support system was helpful for children to rely on in times of uncertainty or stress.

5. Helicoptering

Hovering over a child’s every move is not only annoying, but it leads the child to an unfortunate conclusion; mom or dad do not believe in my ability to be successful on my own. Unfortunately, this parenting behavior leads children to distrust in their own abilities and take fewer risks. That’s true even when they are capable of doing something on their own.

6. Overly strict parenting behavior

Research by the University College London found that harsh parenting behavior had effects on the level of self-control for children and that these effects lasted and were also correlated with conduct problems later in life. The researchers say that ‘Harsh parenting predicted conduct problems for both boys and girls. Self-control at age 9 predicted conduct problems and emotional difficulties at age 12.’

Lower self-control levels result from strict oversight of children’s behavior and too many restrictions in the home. Allowing children, especially as they learn to manage their behavior within the reasonable boundaries that they have already mastered, to experience greater and greater freedom is essential to children being successful.

7. Discouraging emotional expression

A healthy parent-child relationship is mutually beneficial to both child and adult. A balance of give and take early in a relationship is one of the best predictors of childhood success. To build this connection, honest discussion about frustrations, worries, and things that upset you can help children learn about negative emotions and how to handle them without suppressing them.

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8. Not practicing what is taught

With all of the guidance parents give their children, children still watch to see if the parenting behavior matches what they have taught. If you do not share with others, but you teach your children to do so, they are receiving a mixed message and they may experience confusion about what is really right.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

This ONE Behavior Will Affect Your Relationship More Than Anything Else

Our earliest relationship may be the one thing that affects our future relationships more than anything else. Your bond to the most important people in your life at an early age can set you up for successful relationship patterns. Conversely, it could make it difficult for you to have an honest, loving connection with romantic partners.

In this article, we will look at how our parental relationship style relates to our experience of romantic relationships. Some people had very negative relationships with their parents. Thus, they learned to overcome these difficulties and not let them affect their relationships. We will also look at the ways that we can overcome the past and heal from it. Thus, it does not negatively affect our future relationships.

This ONE Behavior Will Affect Your Future Relationship More Than Anything Else

Your relationship with your partner is an important part of your life. So you want it to be a positive, healthy experience that helps you both to grow closer to each other. One thing that will affect your current and future relationships more than anything else is your bond with your first relationship partners. Your parents.

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There are healthy and unhealthy ways of connecting to your parents/ Moreover, these are things that were mostly out of your control as a young child. For example, your parents may not have been ready to have children. Still, they tried to raise you as best they knew how. Their efforts to give you the skills that you would need as an adult may have been good, bad, or somewhere in the middle.

Since the way that you were parented was not something you could control. In fact, your response to that early relationship is the only thing that you can control. Let’s look at the good and bad parenting styles and the healthy ways you can heal from the bad ones so that they won’t affect your future romantic partnerships.

What is attachment style?

Psychologists studying human parenting bonds say that there are three attachment styles that describe how mothers and fathers relate to their children. These are the Secure, Anxious Preoccupied, and Dismissive Avoidant attachment styles.

  • Secure attachment style. This is the healthiest attachment style because it means that we feel secure in our connection to our romantic partner. As children, our parents raised us to feel confident that we would not be abandoned. Parents who form a secure attachment bond with their children had a healthy balance of time spent apart form their children, and time spent with and supporting their children, especially when they were anxious or upset.
  • Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style. These relationships may be doomed to be successful because the partner feels insecure on their own. They have an unfulfilled need for emotional attachment and love that they did not receive from their parents. When their partner is away, they feel upset and abandoned.
  • Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style. These relationships are not likely to be successful unless both partners have the same style. In the dismissive avoidant attachment style, there is an emotional distance where there is a lack of positive emotional connection.
  • Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style. This person has experienced violence or abuse with a parent and will have difficulty trusting anyone to not hurt them.

Why does this ONE behavior affect all of your current and future relationships?

Your first significant relationship to your parent or parents can predict your future relationship outcome because it is ultimately about how you learn to love another person. Your parents set you up with an expectation of either being loved and supported, or not. You then carry this expectation to your future relationships, even if you aren’t aware of it.

Researchers at the University of Texas, Austin say that attachment style has ‘substantial associations between attachment dimensions and relationship satisfaction, nonintimate sexuality, eating disorders, and motives for drinking.’

Unlearning maladaptive relationship habits may take the help of a psychologist who can help you to see the pattern that you are repeating. However, if you already have a good understanding of your past parental relationship. Then, you may be able to identify your own negative behavior pattern and change it on your own.

For example, a person who had an Anxious Preoccupied parental relationship can recognize their tendency to crave emotional attention from their romantic partner. This person needs to learn self-soothing behaviors. Furthermore, they must develop their self-confidence when they feel anxious.

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Researchers form the State University of New York at Stony Brook say that ‘adolescents’ negative perceptions of parental conflict were associated with insecure attachment with parents, which was in turn associated with negative marital expectations and romantic experiences.’

A person who had a Dismissive Avoidant parental relationship might learn to identify emotions, acknowledge that they have both positive and negative emotions, and learn healthy ways to deal with negative emotions. People who had a Fearful Avoidant relationship with their parents may need to work with a licensed therapist to heal from their hurtful past.

Study Reveals: People Who Eat Dark Chocolate Daily Have Lower Risk of Heart Disease, Stroke

One thing is certain. Not too many of us would turn down a chocolate cupcake or candy bar if offered it. However, the research continues to pour in about the negative impact added sugar is for our mental and physical health. In fact, studies have shown that eating too much processed sugar can raise your risk of dying of heart disease. And, that’s even if you aren’t overweight.

So, given this information, you might wonder why we advocate eating chocolate every day for your health. Doctors and scientists globally suggest that people cut their sugar intake enormously. But does that mean chocolate is out of the question?

So, we will go ahead and get to the good stuff. How can you eat chocolate every single day and still maintain your health?

Well, it turns out that chocolate contains far more health benefits than most people realize. So next time you get a craving for something sweet, do not feel guilty for reaching for that chocolate bar!

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Eat 100g Of Chocolate Per Day

Even though eating added sugars have been linked to heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and other health ailments, eating up to 100 g of chocolate every day can lower your risk of heart disease and stroke. That’s according to research published online in the journal Heart.

Also, the researchers in the study found that cutting out chocolate would not lower risk of cardiovascular disease. They based their findings on results recorded from observing nearly 21,000 adults taking part in the EPIC-Norfolk study. That research reviwed how diet affects the long term health of 25,000 men and women in Norfolk, England. The study gathered data about food frequency and lifestyle choices in order to obtain results. The researchers also reviewed the available international published evidence on the association between chocolate and cardiovascular disease. Those findings included the EPIC study participants of almost 158,000 people.

The researchers tracked the study participants for almost 12 years. During that period 14 percent experienced either a fatal or non-fatal coronary heart disease or stroke. 20 percent of participants didn’t eat chocolate. But the others consumed an average of 7g daily, with some eating up to 100 g daily.

The Results

They found something very interesting. Eating higher amounts of chocolate linked to lower weight (BMI), lower waist: hip ratio, lower systolic blood pressure, lower inflammatory proteins, and a decreased occurrence of diabetes, along with a fairly regular fitness routine. All of these pieces of data confirm a healthy cardiovascular profile.

Also, the people in the study who consumed more chocolate had higher energy levels. And, in many cases they had more stamina than others who consumed caffeine and energy drinks. 

What’s more, the researchers found that the people who consumed higher amounts of chocolate had an 11 percent lower risk of cardiovascular disease and a 25 percent lower risk of associated death. Also, the chocolate lovers had a 9 percent lower risk of hospital admission or death related to coronary heart disease.

In the study, 16,000 people had their inflammatory protein levels measured, and the participants who ate the most chocolate had an 18 percent lower risk than those who ate the least. Not to mention, people who ate the most chocolate also had a 23 percent lower risk of having a stroke.

Out of the nine studies in the systematic review, five of them found a dramatic reduction in the risks of both coronary heart disease and stroke when at least 100g of chocolate was consumed. Furthermore, eating this amount of chocolate was linked to a 25 percent lower risk of any episode of cardiovascular disease and even a 45 percent lower risk of death.

Even though the results from these studies seem very promising, the researchers still say that we can’t draw absolute conclusions from the at this time, as the food frequency questionnaires have a certain amount of recall bias and possible inaccuracies associated with how much food was eaten.

Related article: 6 Reasons To Eat Chocolate Every Day

Even so, the researchers say that “cumulative evidence suggests that higher chocolate intake is associated with a lower risk of future cardiovascular events.” The researchers even say that milk chocolate, while less healthy than dark chocolate, might have some health benefits as well.

“This may indicate that not only flavonoids but also other compounds, possibly related to milk constituents, such as calcium and fatty acids, may provide an explanation for the observed association,” the researchers explain. “There does not appear to be any evidence to say that chocolate should be avoided in those who are concerned about cardiovascular risk.”

Additional benefits of eating dark chocolate every day:

1. Enhances brainpower

According to a study by the U.K’s Northumbria University, subjects that ate chocolate and then waited 90 minutes tested for enhanced mathematical and cognitive aptitude. Experts believe this is due to the antioxidant flavanol. The antioxidant may expand blood vessels and increase blood flow to the brain.

2. Helps digestion and gut health

Subjects that were tested for high levels of stress hormones were put on a dark chocolate regimen for an indefinite amount of time. However, after just two weeks, samples taken from the patients showed a marked decrease in hormonal levels in the gut related to stress. Particularly, metabolic bacteria in the gut became more active and produced additional healthy bacteria that were then made available to the body. Scientists believe that flavanol and other healthy polyphenols contributed to this noteworthy discovery, which showed chocolate’s positive gut health benefits.

3. Improves skin health

In one study, women who drank a high-flavanol cocoa drink every day for three months showed a marked increase in blood flow to the epidermis.

The results:

  • Skin density increased by 16 percent.
  • Skin thickness improved by 11 percent.
  • Moisture improved by 13 percent.
  • Dryness decreased by 42 percent.

The potent antioxidant and flavanol properties of chocolate might be the primary reasons why skin rejuvenates at such a fast rate.

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Cardiologists explain why the DASH Foods diet improves heart health.

4. Reduces bad cholesterol

People that eat around 3 ounces of dark or high-flavanol chocolate every day have a more normalized ratio of “good” (HDL) to “bad” (LDL) cholesterol. Admittedly, scientists aren’t quite certain why this is, but they believe that flavonoids play a particularly important role.

In a supplementary study, scientists discovered that dark chocolate helps elderly people with enhanced cognitive function and increased feelings of serenity. In conclusion, scientists believe that chocolate’s positive effects on cholesterol levels, thinking capacity and feelings of serenity may be a promising solution, both short- and long-term in the care of the elderly.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Here’s Why Everyone Needs a Sensitive Person In Their Life

Sensitive people: Genuine givers, any takers?

We all have that one friend who seems awkward, difficult to understand, and even a little bit reclusive lately, and you wonder why.

Let me put some huge Vegas-style neon lights on the following statement: Your friend is sensitive and is going through a rough patch. These sensitive people are truly of the heart; they are more precious than diamonds. They give spades of love and kindness, and you will now get a glimpse of their world.

It is said that one in five of the population is a “highly sensitive person”. They feel the highs and lows of the emotional roller-coaster far greater than you can imagine. Imagine being dumped by your beau/belle; sensitive people feel the hurt much more. That’s because everything they see and hear reminds them of it. They go all in on the relationship and if it fails, they become emotionally bankrupt and shut down automatically. Imagine getting a promotion at work: You guessed it, they party like there is no tomorrow and get together with their friends and family and share the joy. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Here’s Why You Need A Sensitive Person In Your Life

“What about other people’s emotions?”

They are the same, almost as if it were happening to them. If you are going through a tough break-up, they are the first ones knocking on your door to cheer you up and lend a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear to listen. Some bold sensitive people would even whisk you away to the beach, the club, the swimming pool, or anywhere you want to distract you from the pain. They do not leave your side until you feel better about being that amazing you.

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Why?

You can bet your bottom dollar that they do not want other people to go through something they have probably gone through themselves. At the other end of the spectrum, they celebrate that promotion you got as if it were their own, so get ready for a restaurant reservation at the very least. I already mentioned the chicken dinner, did I not?

In brief, sensitive people make the most loyal friends and back you to the hilt. Yet, this is what makes them so vulnerable to the emotional freeloaders. They give so willingly that some decide to manipulate their good nature. This hurts the sensitive one more deeply than anything else, and they blame themselves for it more often than not. Yet, they keep doing the same thing over and over. It is in their nature to give, help, cry, yell and to dance, hug, laugh, and bug you sometimes.

There is a special person in there, you can be assured of that. Can you see them better now? Are there any takers for such great givers?

Research Reveals: Here’s How Sleeping In Complete Darkness Can Improve Your Health

Too many people stay up far too late on their digital devices. Of course, this comes at a very hefty cost to health. That’s because technology keep our brains stimulated at night. Therefore, it also can disrupt our sleep, even delaying it for hours past our bedtime. Bedrooms today become a den for games and entertainment, but not so much a good night’s rest.

Exposure to light at night might not seem like that big a deal to you, but remember that before the advent of modern technology, we basically had two lights guiding us at all times – the sun and the moon. These natural lights helped us to see during the day, and lull us to sleep at night. We became accustomed to these natural patterns, waking with the sun and falling asleep with the moon.

However, now that we’ve moved far away from nature. Consequently, we have an abundance of artificial lighting/ Although this light might help us get work done and see in places that have little sunlight, it damages our brains and overall health. Indoor lighting, of course, doesn’t compare to the power of the sun. But it actually emits more light than the moon and stars. This leads to poor sleep if we use artificial lighting too close to bedtime.

How Sleeping In Complete Darkness Can Improve Your Health

First, we’ll go over why using artificial lighting too close to bed can damage your health. Melatonin helps us to relax and get ready to sleep. However, the blue light from smartphones and tablets actually suppresses this hormone. Melatonin lowers blood pressure, glucose levels, and body temperature, which help us to prepare for a restful sleep.

With the proper amount of melatonin in your system, your cortisol levels will also remain relatively low. As a result, you will relax and get to sleep. However, artificial lighting actually raises your stress hormones at night, and frequent exposure can cause a plethora of health problems, including excess body fat, weight gain, inflammation, insulin resistance, and heart problems. It can also contribute to insomnia and even affect hormones responsible for the regulation of your appetite.

Power Down the Devices Early

So, by keeping your room dark at night, you not only will get to sleep faster and wake up feeling more rested, but you’ll also have a lesser risk of developing health problems due to excess nighttime light exposure.

In fact, studies have shown that light exposure before bedtime shortens melatonin duration by 90 minutes in comparison to dim light exposure. Furthermore, keeping lights on in the room while you sleep can suppress melatonin levels by more than 50%. 

So, a good rule of thumb is to simply turn off electronics a few hours before bed, and dim the lights in your room. Make it a relaxing environment for sleep so that when bedtime comes, you actually feel like falling asleep.

If you still need more evidence to shut off your phones and bright room lights leading up to bedtime, a 10-year study  of over 1,670 women exposed to bright light before bed found that they had a 22% greater chance of developing breast cancer compared to those who slept in complete darkness. The researchers concluded that hormone disruption due to melatonin suppression likely caused the cancer to develop.

Shift Work Might Also Cause Health Concerns

Furthermore, people who do shift-work have a higher risk of developing cancer as well. In some studies, researchers found that nurses who rotate overnight shifts have a greater chance of developing breast cancer compared to those nurses who work during the day.

Even dim light at night can causes issues, though. Chronic exposure to dim light in the evening leads to depressive symptoms in hamsters, such as drinking less sugar water that they normally would have interest in. When researchers took away the dim lights at night, they found the depression went away.

Chronic low light in the evening also disrupts the immune system response..

So, if you have night lights on, lights from your computer or phone, or even a street lamp outside, consider covering them with a blanket or getting black-out curtains for your windows.

Finally, exposure to lights before bed can lead to weight gain due to disruption in hormones and a shift in our biological clock which controls our eating times. In studies with lab mice, they gained more weight when exposed to light before bed despite exercising and eating the same amount as the mice who didn’t have light exposure.

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Final Thoughts on How Sleeping in the Darkness Increases Health

Taken from research presented in this article, you will likely fall asleep faster due to an increase in melatonin levels, your blood glucose levels, and your blood pressure will decrease. Additionally, you decrease the chance of developing serious diseases such as cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Finally, you’ll wake up feeling more rested. So if you have insomnia, sleeping in darkness and  turning off lights a few hours before bed could help tremendously.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How Does The Moon Affect Your Zodiac Sign?

The phases of the moon throughout the month can affect your zodiac sign differently than they do for someone else, and you should know what to expect as the moon changes its shape. Let’s look at how the phases of the moon will affect your sign throughout each month so you can be prepared for the difference in energy that you may feel.

People hold certain beliefs about how the moon affects behavior, and researchers looked at who was more likely to believe in the effects of the moon. Researchers at the University of New Orleans say 43% of people ‘held the personal belief that lunar phenomena alter individual behavior. Specifically, mental health professionals (social workers, master’s clinical psychologists, nurses’ aides, LPNs) held this belief more strongly than other occupational groups.’

Researchers at the Department of Experimental Therapy, The Institute of Immunology and Experimental Therapy, and Polish Academy of Sciences, in Wroc’aw, Poland say ‘The lunar cycle has an impact on human reproduction, in particular fertility, menstruation, and birth rate.’ The study also found that admittance to hospitals and emergency units for various reasons was associated with moon phases. They also found that the number of traffic accidents, crimes, and suicides had an identifiable pattern based on the phase of the moon.

The Moon Affect

When you look up in the sky and see the crescent moon, and the points of the crescent moon are to the left, the moon is said to be waxing or growing fuller. It will eventually become a full moon. Usually the waxing phases of the moon are a time of growth, things beginning, and more energy than other times.

If the points of the crescent moon are on the right, it means the moon is already past its full point and now it is getting smaller. Generally, a waning moon is a time of decrease, a time when things will be ending and when you may notice less energy for projects than you have at other times.

Let’s look at the monthly influences that the phases of the moon have for each zodiac sign and what you need to know about how the moon affects your sign.

Aries March 21 – April 19

* Full moon for Aries: Ending a project and getting recognition for your hard work

* New moon for Aries: Letting go of something that is holding you back. Seeking something new and exciting

Taurus April 20 – May 20

* Full moon for Taurus: Seeing success in relationships and finances

* New moon for Taurus: Reflect on the state of work, home, and finances and focus your energy on mundane things

Gemini May 21 – June 20

* Full moon for Gemini: Learning new things, using the new information to improve yourself, and lots of social activity

* New moon for Gemini: Thinking about future plans, difficulty focusing due to so many new ideas at this time

Cancer June 21 – July 22

* Full moon for Cancer: Peak of self-confidence, overflowing feelings of generosity, and plenty of home happiness

* New moon for Cancer: Inner reflection, contemplating making a change for the better

Related article: 10 Things You Need To Know About Loving A Cancer

Leo July 23 – August 22

* Full moon for Leo: Creativity, enthusiasm, and peak energy times. Feelings of passion for someone close to you.

* New moon for Leo: New flirtations, jumping in to new projects that excite you

Virgo August 23 – September 22

* Full moon for Virgo: Getting organized, feeling more energetic and committed to your priorities

* New moon for Virgo: Reevaluating procrastinated projects, making positive health changes

Libra September 23 – October 22

* Full moon for Libra: Influencing healthier relationships with those close to you, creativity increases

* New moon for Libra: Making plans for your future, focus on communication with others

Scorpio October 23 – November 21

* Full moon for Scorpio: Passion is at an all time high, positive emotional connections with many people

* New moon for Scorpio: Reflect on internal patterns of behavior that need to be changed, psychological healing

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21

* Full moon for Sagittarius: Your positive mood makes you attract others and you have many exciting flirtations

* New moon for Sagittarius: Seeking excitement and mental stimulation to break a cycle of boredom

Capricorn December 22 – January 19

* Full moon for Capricorn: Positive changes at work and at home, plenty of opportunity for fun social activities

* New moon for Capricorn: Evaluate priorities, make positive changes to eliminate wasted energy

Aquarius January 20 – February 18

* Full moon for Aquarius: Contributions are recognized by others, embrace positive changes that are beginning at this time

* New moon for Aquarius: Breaking old habits, contributing in a positive way to the greater society

Related article: What Does Your Sun Sign Reveal About Your Personality?

Pisces February 19 – March 20

* Full moon for Pisces: Emotional sensitivity is high and so is kindness toward those close to you

* New moon for Pisces: Making healthy alliances with people who can help you, removing blocked energy that is holding you back

Here’s Why Being Selfish Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Looking around at the world today, you might view it as full of greed, narcissism, and selfishness. In the age of shameless self-promotion, selfies, and self-entitlement, it seems that people have an obsession with themselves. However, if you look at if from a different perspective, you might see that having a healthy relationship with yourself, putting your needs first, and loving yourself form a sturdy, unshakable foundation from which we can build a fulfilling life.

While narcissists put their own needs above others while using people for their personal gain, self-loving, self-actualized people see that they must garner a positive relationship with themselves so that they can form healthy relationships with others.

Researchers studying healthy self-esteem say that some self-love helps to promote positive mental health and well-being. Researchers have linked self-love to a decrease in sadness, depression and loneliness, and an increase in well-being, both with their relationships with themselves and with others. Having a healthy self-esteem also contributes to less feelings of anxiety and neuroticism.

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However, too little self-love can lead to the opposite feelings and behaviors. In another study, researchers linked low self-esteem to higher levels of aggression and anti-social behavior.

“I choose to honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority. I choose me.” – Daniell Koepke

If you still think being “selfish” doesn’t contribute positively to you or society at large, we hope that we can offer you a new perspective with the following points.

 

5 Reasons It’s Time To Start Being Selfish

1. Your relationships with others will improve.

Have you ever noticed the abundance of problems in relationships everywhere? No matter what kind of relationship, so many get destroyed by pain, guilt, betrayal, and other negative emotions. However, once you start to embody love yourself, you will see a huge transformation and upgrade in all of your relationships.

We only perpetuate pain and sorrow in the world because we haven’t fully healed our own wounds. Once you step past the victim mentality and realize that only you can take charge of your emotions, you will bring a whole new energy into your relationships. Also, you’ll leave behind those that no longer serve you, and attract people who truly uplift you.

Remember, life simply reflects our frequency levels at all times. If you want better relationships, you have to upgrade your own vibration in order to attract healthy, whole, loving people.

2. You’ll learn to truly love the person in the mirror.

Most people in the world, unfortunately, look to others for love and acceptance. They do very little to cultivate these feelings themselves, which explains why we have so much destruction and hatred in the world. Most of us seek outside of ourselves in order to find what we need, and when we don’t get it, we start to get frantic. We can’t fathom finding all we need within ourselves, because most of us feel so lost and broken.

If you feel this way, though, you need to take a harder look into your soul, and once you learn to sit in silence and truly love your own company, you’ll start to fall in love with that person looking back at you.

So, selfishness doesn’t have to mean only caring about ourselves – it means putting ourselves first and taking care of our needs so that we can offer more value to the world. 

When you indulge in your own love, no one can take that away. When you learn to love yourself, you become a better human being, and you can’t possibly find any negatives in that.

3. You’ll have better health.

Inevitably, when you start to love yourself, you’ll want to put more loving, wholesome things into your body. You’ll want foods that energize you and promote health, not ones that poison your body, mind, and soul. Once you cultivate self-love, you’ll learn to get “selfish” with what you eat and how you choose to treat your body. You won’t give into peer pressures and eat or drink things that only weigh you down. You won’t mind taking extra time to chop fruits and vegetables to prepare a healthy meal. Running 5 miles every other day won’t seem like a chore; you’ll actually want to get up and get moving!

When you love yourself, you will want your health in tip-top shape, and will accept nothing less.

4. You’ll break down mental barriers.

Many of us in the world feel limited, maybe because of laws, the economy, money, not knowing how to buy stocks, relationships, taxes, our weight, health, or something else. We feel we can’t control much in our lives, including ourselves. Therefore, we resort to violence and destruction. The chaos in our world reflects how we as a collective feel about ourselves, but once you go within and combat your demons, you’ll set them free. You won’t feel limited by your own mind; you’ll feel like the master of it.

By putting ourselves first and removing all of those destructive thought patterns, the world becomes a little less burdened. Plus, you’ll feel much lighter and more productive without all of those heavy thoughts weighing you down.

5. You’ll make decisions that truly serve you well.

Once you have self-love within, you won’t want anything in your life that could potentially harm your state of bliss. You’ll want to remove what no longer serves you, and instead, welcome in the people and things that uplift your spirit. Decision-making will become easy, because you’ll know exactly what you want out of life and will know how to align energetically with those choices.

Related article: 15 Ways to Be More “Selfish” (And Why You Should)

So, hopefully you see now that selfishness goes hand-in-hand with selflessness. Becoming our best selves absolutely requires us to put ourselves first, but by doing this, we can offer more to the world. So, don’t hesitate to become a little more selfish. Leave that job that kills your soul, go on that vacation you’ve been dreaming of, leave a relationship that doesn’t bring you happiness, and keep following your heart. You have nothing to lose except yourself, and by getting rid of the old you through self-love, you’ll finally learn to treat yourself with respect and kindness.

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8 Signs Chronic Inflammation Is Making You Fat And Sick

As a result of human activity – namely, industrial and commercial processes – the world is burdened with toxins. There is both good news and bad news for people (rightly) concerned with the number of toxins floating around. Bad news first: it is impossible to deny entry of toxins into the human body (unless you become a recluse); the good news: we can do something about toxic effects on the body.

Contrary to what many believe, inflammation in itself is not damaging. In fact, normal inflammation is a healthy body’s response to physical harm – known as acute inflammation. Acute inflammation is a necessary physical response that allows the body to heal after an adverse physical event (e.g. breaking a bone, cutting a finger). Inflammation of this variety also “traps” impeding and harmful substances to eliminate them from the body.

Chronic inflammation, meanwhile, is a potentially damaging condition. Medical professionals and researchers have linked chronic inflammation to a variety of conditions, including diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, and even hair loss. Chronic inflammation is also difficult to detect without a comprehensive blood test.

However, there are physical signs that may point to chronic inflammation. This article discusses eight of these signs, and supplements them with ways to reverse the damaging condition. We hope this article proves beneficial to all of us concerned with the adverse effects of chronic inflammation on the body, and that the “treatments” noted here are helpful.

Here are 8 signs of chronic inflammation:

1. Persistent abdominal pain

Inflammation can trigger episodes of abdominal pain, as the gut is sensitive to substances that provoke inflammation. Such episodes often include bouts of diarrhea and constipation, as well. Additionally, it comes as no surprise that any level of gluten intolerance (a source of inflammation) can stimulate abdominal pain.

2. Depressive symptoms

Depression and depressive symptoms are complex, as several factors contribute to the conditions. Chronic inflammation is one such factor, according to researchers. Many physicians have come to this conclusion by citing depressed patients that suffer from many conditions – heart disease and skin cancer, for example – with higher levels of inflammation.

3. Chronic fatigue

Mary Harrington, director of the neuroscience program at Smith College, believes that inflammation is “key” for those with chronic fatigue. Harrington cites the physical link between inflammation and the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord), stating that inflammation can alter the brain’s circadian mechanism – the part of the brain responsible for sleep/wake cycles.

4. Insomnia

There may be a link between insomnia and chronic inflammation, as it’s known that the latter interferes with the body’s sleep/wake cycle. Also, toxic buildup can worsen and even manifest into, insomnia episodes. There is also a known connection between insomnia and liver problems, as well as a physical link between inflammation and problems with the liver. Many health professionals recommend a liver cleanse to help alleviate one or both conditions.

5. Skin problems

People who experience high levels of stress (everyone?) produce more inflammatory chemicals than those who do not. As our skin is considered a primary indication of health, it is unsurprising that these stress chemicals can lead to, or exacerbate, several skin conditions – including acne and psoriasis.

6. Frequent Headaches

Chronic headaches are potential signs of high toxicity in the body. Therefore, it is not a stretch to assume headache episodes that increase in frequency may be a telltale sign of high toxicity levels. Headaches are a byproduct of the body’s inherent tendency to detoxify, and a direct sign that inadequate nutrition may be the root cause (more on this later).

7. Tongue discoloration

Besides the skin, our tongue is the next best indicator of the body’s toxicity levels. Foods that contain toxic chemicals (e.g. refined carbohydrates, unhealthy fats) alter the mucus of the digestive system, and is evident via a discolored tongue. When this happens, the tongue will often take on an unnatural white or yellow coloration.

8. Excess belly fat

In a study published in the journal Obesity, researchers found a link between environmental toxins and high levels of abdominal fat. This is not the first study to derive such a connection, as Washington University researchers also found a correlation. It is believed that certain toxins affect how fat is stored in the body, and that these toxins create a physiological response that disproportionately stores fat in the belly.

Reversing Chronic Inflammation

Now that we’ve gone over some physical symptoms that may indicate chronic inflammation as the source, let’s turn our attention to how we can effectively counteract the condition. When reading through this list, you’ll notice that all of the recommended actions require nothing more than simple lifestyle changes.

– Reduce or eliminate refined carbohydrates: Sugar and white flour are two ingredients that are abundant in many processed foods. The Arizona Center for Advanced Medicine estimates that Americans consume, on average, more than 160 pounds of sugar and 200 pounds of white flour per year.

To effectively reverse chronic inflammation, foods containing these ingredients should be severely restricted or eliminated, as they stimulate the release of inflammatory chemicals in the body. The most common foods associated with high levels of refined carbohydrates includes: bread, cereal, cookies, soft drinks, bread and pasta.

– Consume the right Omega’s: Omega-6 fatty acids provoke an inflammatory response, while omega-3s contain anti-inflammatory properties. We consume up to 30 times as many omega-6s than omega-3s, which is disproportionate to say the least.

To put this discrepancy in-balance, it is necessary to consume only natural or organic types of fats and oils.

–  Get active: It is estimated that two out of three Americans are overweight, with many developed countries not far behind. This trend is problematic; as fat cells produce excessive amounts of inflammatory chemicals.

Aim for 30 minutes of physical activity at least three times per week. Simply going out for a brisk walk or going on a bike ride can achieve this.

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