Being “self-ish” is not selfish at all. The art of self love is one that is important at every stage of your life, so it’s worth finding the ways that we can show ourselves the loving care we need for our true happiness and well-being.

15 Ways to Be “Selfish”

Too much self-love and an over-inflated opinion of yourself as compared to others is a psychological problem known as narcissism. This is when you take care of yourself at the emotional, psychological, or financial expense of others.

Researchers studying healthy self-esteem say that some self-love is normal and is related to good psychological health. Healthy self-love has been linked to lower daily sadness and feelings of depression, loneliness, and helps improve feelings of well-being, including feelings of relationship well-being. Healthy self-esteem is also connected to fewer feelings of anxiety and neurotic behavior.

Having too little self-love can also be bad for our mental health. In another study, researchers linked low self-esteem to higher levels of aggression and anti-social behavior.

In this article we will talk about the healthy type of self-love that fills your positive emotional bank, which then allows you to give more love to others.

1. Picture yourself on a deserted island

Knowing yourself well is one of the ways you can give yourself love, and an easy way to do this is to know the basic things that you need to be happy. When you can picture yourself all alone, what are the 5 major things that are most important to you to have with you that give you joy? One example of your 5 top things that make you happy might be music, a good book, ice water with cucumber slices, your favorite recliner, and an ice cream sundae with hot fudge.

2. Do more of what you want to do

Play sports, read, meditate, garden, swim; whatever your favorite activities or hobbies are, make time for them a priority.

3. Do less of what you don’t want to do

Avoid activities that lead to negative moods. Anything that is frustrating to you should be avoided, if possible. Try asking someone else to do the dirty work for you or find a way to do away with the need for the non-fun things.

4. Forgive others

Holding onto emotional hurt only hurts you, not the person who caused you the pain. Forgiveness is releasing negative emotions that hurt your mental health.

5. Accept your flaws

We are all imperfect, but knowing our negative tendencies is helpful to self-acceptance and working to be better at unconditional self-love. Lori Deschene at Tiny Buddha says ‘keeping ourselves in check regarding patterns such as lying, manipulating, co-depending, withholding, and pretending’ are a part of good self-care.

6. Tune in to your gut instinct

In your gut, you know what is good and not good for you. When you connect to your sense of intuition, it will lead you to master self-love.

7. Dream of more

Are you done with the reason you were put on Earth? Your destiny may not be fulfilled yet so think of big ways that you can make a positive impact before you are done with your time here. Working toward something that is greater than yourself is great way to feel the importance of your contribution and give yourself love.

8. Spend time wisely

We have a limited time, so decide how you want to spend yours and commit to giving yourself the gift of choices in what you do.

9. Give yourself excellent physical care

Sleep, exercise, healthy whole foods, good hygiene, maintaining your weight, getting massages, and getting regular exams; caring for your body is part of mastering healthy self-love.

10. Connect to your spirituality

Whether you believe in a faith or not is not important, but spend time with the beliefs that are meaningful to you.

11. Work on fixing just one thing about yourself that you dislike

Taking action toward self-improvement is an excellent way to master self-love.

Related article: 5 Things To Remember When You Doubt Yourself

12. Protect yourself from negativity

Mentally protect yourself or physically avoid spending time with negative people.

13. Ask for help

Asking for help is difficult for independent people, but it can be psychologically freeing to know that in our society, others are willing and able to assist you, whenever you need it. Ask someone for a small favor and you may be pleasantly surprised about how good you feel when they give it to you.

14. Express yourself

Creatively express who you are through your clothing, art, writing or music. Many people are surprised to find that they have talents far beyond the ones they are using currently. Discover your new creative passion.

15. Remember your power

You are unique and unlike any other person. This is a powerful thing to know about yourself. Remember a time when you felt confident, loved, and courageous enough to take on the world and then realize that this ability to feel self-love has been with you all along.