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5 Healthy Reasons To Be In A Relationship

July 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The question to ask: “If I want to be in a relationship, why do I want it?”

Odds are you’re a good person who wishes to share your life with another. Some people, however, seek out a relationship for the wrong reasons. When it comes down to it, being in a relationship is a huge commitment – and it’s beneficial to examine your motivations carefully.

Dr. Margaret Paul, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of self-love before committing to someone. According to Paul, the most common unhealthy reason why people get into relationships: not receiving enough love, and needing a partner to give it to them; somehow feeling that a partner will make them feel worthy and complete.

“People who want a relationship for this reason are generally very disappointed, because if they are not loving themselves, their partner’s love cannot fill the empty place within.”

That said, what are the HEALTHY reasons for wanting a relationship?

“A healthy relationship, whether it’s romantic, brotherly, or friendly, is when each person is allowed room to grow, unjudged, and still loved.” ~ Mama Zara

1. Giving and receiving love and care

There is a vast difference between desiring to share love and wanting to receive love. Resolving deep-seeded issues prior to finding a romantic partner is probably best.

It’s when you love and care for yourself that should determine when you’re ready to meet someone. When you love yourself, it’s much easier for a potential mate to love you back.

A relationship wherein two people love and value themselves opens the possibility for experiencing the joy that encompasses the sharing of love and passion.

2. Mutual support

As social beings, most of us want someone reliable and trustworthy to see us through life. Support, in the context of a relationship, is multi-faceted. We need emotional and spiritual support from our partner.

Having a loving partner who also supports your dreams and passions is crucial to relationship happiness. When someone is “all in” on what you want to accomplish in life, things are that much easier and that much more enjoyable.

Financial support is also an important part of living a comfortable life together.

3. Growth

The truth is we are transformed, to some degree, by who we allow into our lives. Our partners are huge influences on our life and our life’s outlook. Many people have changed for the better by a conscientious partner who, lovingly and firmly, points out both our strengths and our weaknesses. We also learn by observing our partner. We “mirror” the things we admire about them – a fact proven by science.

(we mimic the actions of those we respect.)

The cool thing is that each person has different things to offer. The intimate nature of a loving relationship, combined with these differences, is enough for us to become a better partner and individual.

4. Family and children

For people who want a family and children, this is a major factor in a happy relationship. Fortunately, we discover whether a person wants children early in the dating process. In fact, most online dating sites have a questionnaire that asks if children are in the cards (a “Yes/No/Maybe” sort of thing.)

Anyways, having a family is a beautiful thing. Having children while remaining with your partner is deeply satisfying for a couple of reasons. First, parenting can be a challenging endeavor, and having a partner who shares these challenges makes things a bit easier.

Studies show that children raised in partnerships are generally better off. For instance, there is a direct correlation between a stable family environment and the development of personal and psychological problems.

5. Friendship and fun

You hear people all the time say, “My spouse/partner is also my best friend.” Of course! You’re intimately involved with a man or woman who knows you better than most friends ever could. So, the “My spouse/partner is also my best friend” thing, while on the surface a bit cheesy, is nonetheless true.

Anyways, it is generally much more fun to do things with a partner, especially if you share mutual interests. Being “besties” and remembering to have fun is an important part of a healthy relationship.

(Readers: What do you think are the keys to a healthy relationship? Do you have any personal insight to share? Please do!)

5 Signs You’re Losing Weight, Not Just Water Weight

July 28, 2017 by Chris Butler

There’s no such thing as overnight weight loss. If you lost a bunch of weight overnight, you probably lost water weight. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Your body is made up of mostly water. It’s one of the heaviest parts of your body besides your bones. Water weight is the first thing you lose when you start a diet. It means you’re headed in the right direction. Here are five signs you’re losing weight, not water.

What diet helps you lose weight?

What you eat and how much you eat are essential to losing weight. Exercise is also a necessary factor for weight loss. It helps rid your body of excess water. Water weight is sometimes the build-up of water in your body. It may cause puffiness or bloat in your arms, legs, or stomach. The water weight in your body can fluctuate two to four pounds in one day. Years ago, low-fat diets were recommended to lose weight, but these diets aren’t as effective or healthy.

You can lose weight by reducing your calorie intake and exercising. It’s essential to choose a diet that offers healthy foods rather than one type of food. Fad diets like the rice grapefruit or rice diets or the cabbage diet may help you lose some weight, but you can’t stay on these for very long. Choose a diet that maximizes a healthy lifestyle. One of the best diets is the Mediterranean-style diet.

This diet includes healthy food choices, such as the following:

Cereals and whole grains
Vegetables and fruits
Healthy fats such as seeds, olive oils, or nuts
Small amounts of red meat
Lean protein such as fish, chicken, or beans
Limited amount of wine

Eating a Mediterranean diet lowers your chances of heart disease, cancer, and Type2 diabetes or stroke.

5 Signs your weight loss is not just water weight

Look for these encouraging signs.

1 – You feel cravings, but you can resist them

When you eat certain foods, a region of your brain experiences positive feelings of pleasure, making you want to eat more of these foods. Foods that are sweet, rich, or salty are called hyper palatable because you enjoy them. If you haven’t eaten in a while, a hormone called ghrelin gets released from your stomach to let you know you’re hungry. If you eat hyper palatable foods too often, it can interfere with the brain signal to release ghrelin, so you feel cravings for food all the time, even if you’ve just eaten.

Eating high sugar foods or high-fat foods in your diet messes up your brain signals so that you’re always hungry, especially for these pleasurable foods. As you lose weight and limit certain foods, your cravings may increase. It may take some time to change your desire for sugar or fat foods. Please don’t give in to these cravings, but resist them. Here are some practical ways to fight cravings.

Drink lots of water: Did you know that sometimes when you think you’re hungry, you are just thirsty? If you feel an intense craving, drink a large glass of water. It may surprise you that the desire goes away because you were thirsty.
Eat high protein: Eating protein reduces your hunger feelings and makes you feel fuller longer.
Plan your meals: When you plan your meals, you will know what you’re going to eat, so you won’t give in to picking up something from a fast-food restaurant. Purchase all the ingredients you need for the meals, so it’s easy to prepare your meals.
Keep junk foods away: Don’t buy the junk foods you crave, such as chips, candy, or deli meats. Having them out of the house helps you stay strong while dieting.

2 – You feel more energetic when the weight loss is not just water weight

As you eat healthier and stay active, you will start to feel more energetic. It’s often the first thing you notice when you diet. You may lose some water weight initially, but as you drop a few pounds, you’ll feel good. This motivates you to keep exercising and eating healthy. You may start doing things you’ve never tried before because of your extra energy. It’s thought that dropping pounds helps you see these changes:

Breathe easier because you can expand your lung better
Your body doesn’t have to work as hard to function
Your joints are less stressed from carrying less weight
There is less stress on your heart

Carrying around those extra pounds slows you down. As you lose not just water weight but fat, you’ll feel fit and productive and ready to take on the world in a new way.

3 – Your clothes fit looser

Losing weight has many health benefits, but it also improves your self-esteem. As you lose water weight and pounds, your clothing may feel more comfortable and looser. Suddenly you can button the top button of your high-waisted jeans. You may see that other clothing fits better or differently. As you continue to lose, you may drop a size so that you need to buy new clothing. Keeping your clothes fit looser will motivate you to stay on your diet. It’s the best motivation because you can see the results.

4 – You sleep better

Weight loss, especially losing belly fat, improves your sleep. Losing weight gives you overall better physical and mental health, so you sleep well at night. Getting enough sleep lowers your risk of experiencing these outcomes:

High blood pressure
Heart attack
Irregular heartbeat
Stroke
Chronic disease

Obesity increases your chances of having sleep problems. Often, when you’re trying to lose weight, you increase your exercise. Exercise also improves your ability to sleep. So, if you’re dropping weight and exercising, you will not only feel better during the day, but you’ll also have a better sleep at night.

5 – You feel healthier

In general, when you lose weight, you feel healthier. This isn’t surprising because weight loss gives you more energy, better sleep, and your clothes fit better. You may crave certain foods, but the water weight and pounds continue to come off as you fight those cravings. Having fewer pounds to carry around makes you feel like a new person. Plus, eating healthier foods gives you increased nutrients that you may have missed before. Not eating junk food can make a huge difference in how you feel because they contain loads of salt and fat.

Once you lose weight, how do you keep it off?

After you’ve lost a lot of weight, your body may react as if it’s a threat. Hormones get released, increasing your hunger to the point of distraction. Remember, this is normal when you’re dieting. Over time, the intense desire will decrease as your body adjusts to your new body weight. Those hunger hormones will eventually settle down. In the meantime, there are some things you can do to keep off the weight you have already lost, so you don’t gain it back. Here are some suggestions of what to do when all you’re thinking about is eating.

Drink lots of water

Studies show that drinking water helps you lose water weight and fat. When you’re feeling extra hungry, drink a large glass of water. Carry a water bottle with you to stay hydrated. Add a lemon wedge to your glass of water if you get bored with the taste. Drink a big glass of water before meals to help you feel full so that you won’t eat as much.

Get the full benefit from your meals

Eating protein and fiber slows down your digestion, so you stay full longer. If you’re feeling starving, try to choose protein-rich snacks like nuts or low-fat cheese to stave off your hunger. Eating high-fiber veggies or fruits keeps your hunger at bay. High-fiber fruits and veggies include

Avocadoes
Strawberries
Apples
Raspberries
Blueberries
Celery
Carrots
Broccoli
Chickpeas
Beans

Add these foods to your menu so don’t give in to hunger pangs in between meals.

Stay active as you continue to drop both pounds and water weight

Another way to fight hunger is to stay busy and active. Join a gym and take classes to increase your strength and stamina. Take your dog for a walk during the day or join a friend to walk around the block every morning. Find what works best for you. Staying active not only helps you not give in to hunger cravings but also increases your loss of water weight and pounds.

Final thoughts on knowing you are losing weight and not water weight

If you lose weight overnight, it’s most likely water weight. This is normal when you’re on a diet, and it’s not bad since it means your body is adjusting to the changes. You may experience hormonal changes that increase your cravings. These will diminish over time. The amazing benefits of weight loss outweigh the difficulties because you’ll have increased energy, feel better and sleep well at night. Be sure to choose a healthy diet because a fad diet rarely works long term. As the water weight and pounds drop off, you’ll be ready to take on the world in an entirely new way.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Paralyzed Human Opens Doors To Possibilities – Regains Movement After Stem Cell Treatment

July 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Stem cell therapy helped a paralyzed man regain movement. But what’s that all about?

Stem cell medicine is a term that pops up from time to time. During the later stages of George W. Bush’s first term (end of 2004), the U.S. entered into a fierce debate over the use of stem cells and their effectiveness.

What is stem cell medicine?

We’ll simplify the process without turning this article into a research paper. There are two primary types of stem cells: embryonic and non-embryonic (or “adult”) stem cells.

Embryonic cells are derived from a 3-day to 5-day old embryo, called a blastocyst.
Adult stem cells are living cells derived from adult tissue.

Each type of stem cell has some potential to help. Embryonic stem cells “give rise to the entire body of the organism, including all of the (specialized) cell types and organs such as the heart, lungs, skin, sperm, eggs and other tissues.”

Adult stem cells within the bone marrow, brain, and muscle have shown some promise for “(generating) replacements for cells that are lost through normal wear and tear, injury, or disease.”

Kris Boesen’s Story

“With this study, we are testing a procedure that may improve neurological function, which could mean the difference between being permanently paralyzed and being able to use one’s arms and hands.” – Charles Liu, Program Director at the USC Neurorestoration Center

In March of 2016, just days before he was about to turn 21, Kris Boesen’s life took a dramatic turn for the worse. His car fishtailed on a wet road, hit a tree and struck a telephone pole.

Boesen suffered a cervical spine injury. He was paralyzed from the neck down.

Like most individuals who suffer spinal injuries, Boesen’s prognosis wasn’t good. Doctors prepared him and his parents for the possibility that the young man would never be able to move again.

The good news, if there were any to be gleaned from such a situation, was that young Kris qualified for a new clinical study that may help. Upon hearing this, Kris’ response echoed many that’ve been in a similar situation:

“All I’ve wanted from the beginning was a fighting chance.”

Enter the Neurorestoration Center at the University of Southern California (USC). The cutting-edge facility was developed to “(create) new strategies for the restoration of an injured or diseased nervous system.”

The procedure that Dr. Charles Liu and his surgical team would perform would inject an experimental dose of 10 million ‘AST-OPC1′ stem cells directly into Kris’ cervical spinal cord.

Dr. Liu explains the rationale for the treatment:

“Typically, spinal cord injury patients undergo surgery that stabilizes the spine, but does very little to restore motor or sensory function.” The procedure Dr. Liu and his team would try “could mean the difference between being permanently paralyzed and being able to use one’s arms and hands.”

The new procedure would have a life-changing impact. A short timeframe of Kris’ experience (post-surgery):

2 weeks: Kris’ fine motor skills improved (e.g. use of small muscles of fingers, toes, wrists, lips, and tongue.)
2 months: Kris’ motor movement was progressing rapidly.
3 months, Kris gained significant improvement in his various functions. “He’s able to feed himself, use his cell phone, write his name, operate a motorized wheelchair and hug his friends and family.”

The Paralyzed Young Man Made Amazing Progress

Doctors, naturally, are quick to temper any future expectations; particularly during the early stages of recovery from a new medical procedure. But the results are promising.

“If there’s a chance for me to walk again, heck yeah!”

Boesen is quite the resilient and optimistic character. He loved to repair and drive sports cars and worked on his life insurance licensure before his injury.

Per a video posted on Americans for Cures, courtesy of USC’s Keck School of Medicine, an obviously emotional Kris Boesen tells the camera:

“I was just existing. I wasn’t really living my life. And now, after the stem cell surgery, I’m able to live my life. If I was there and I was able to thank (Liu’s medical team), I would just tell them ‘Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to live my life again.”

Kris’ father was also thankful for Liu and his team, “So many things had to happen, and there were so many things that could have put up a roadblock,” he said. “The people at Keck Medical Center of USC and elsewhere moved heaven and earth to get things done. There was never a moment through all of this when we didn’t think our son was getting world-class care.”

And, Kris, well, he’s pumped. “If there’s a chance for me to walk again, then heck yeah! I want to do anything possible to do that.”

With the way he’s progressing, a pacing Kris Boesen may just be in the future.

Other stuff

– Kris’ treatment was made possible through California’s Proposition 71 – a $3 billion-dollar state program known as the California Initiative for Regenerative Medicine.

– Other beneficiaries of stem cell research include Evangelina Padilla Vaccaro, who was diagnosed with severe combined immunodeficiency disease. She is now disease-free.

– A big debate is underway in California whether or not to extend the program.

– For more information on the study, including eligibility and other info, please see the Keck School of Medicine of USC at http://keck.usc.edu/.

8 Telling Signs Your Relationship Is Getting Serious

July 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Relationships can come in all kinds of styles, from super-serious soulmates, to casual Friday night dinners. Relationships are meant to grow and change. After all, if they remained stagnant, they wouldn’t be so much fun. But how can you tell when your relationship is shifting from something casual, to something much more serious? Some signs may be obvious, but some may be much more subtle. Keep an eye out for signs that your relationship is ready to move on to the next level, and that you and your partner are starting to get serious.

8 SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING SERIOUS

“If someone seriously wants to be part of your life, they will seriously make an effort to be in it. No reasons. No excuses.” – Unknown Author

1. YOU SHARE NETFLIX PASSWORDS

Passwords are important – after all, they could lock you out of your Netflix account with a few clicks. So, sharing your Netflix account and password is a sign that you trust them – and that you’re interested in what types of things they like to watch. This isn’t just limited to Netflix, either. HBO and Hulu accounts are also big serious steps in upping your relationship intimacy. Sharing passwords of any kind are a show of good faith that your partner won’t misuse it. It takes a lot of trust.

2. WAITING TO WATCH A TELEVISION SHOW OR MOVIE UNTIL YOU’RE WITH THEM

That immediate rush of excitement when your favorite show drops a new season is often damped with the knowledge that you want to wait until you’re with your partner. This is a sign of intimacy and wanting to share everything with your partner. If it was a casual thing, you might watch it anyway and casually mention it. A more serious relationship will have the both of you sitting down together with twin excitement to experience it together for the first time.

3. You’ve said goodbye to dating apps

This is definitely a sign that you’re not interested in changing partners any time soon. Your dating apps lay unforgotten on the third screen of your phone, notifications piling up that you don’t answer, until one day you just get rid of it altogether. Your relationship is getting serious once you realize that there’s no reason for you to keep that dating app around, since you’ve found the one you want to spend all your time with. However, make sure your partner isn’t still snooping around on dating sites either – this step has to be a two-way street.

4. You’re the most recent conversation on their phone

Texting throughout your day means that you’re eager to share every interesting or funny thing that happens throughout your day with your partner. You don’t text just to confirm when you’re going to see one another. You text them your thoughts and feelings, but still have endless things to talk about once you see each other. Keeping the flow of communication open is a big sign that your relationship is getting serious.

5. They save your detailed contact info

Some people don’t save every single phone number in their phone, but rather use their phone as a place to gather only the people that the plan on contacting regularly. When you save one another in your phones, it means that you plan on getting in contact and keeping that contact. It may not feel like a big deal for some people, but for others it’s a way of creating an air of intimacy – you’ll always be in one another’s pockets.

6. Family members friend request you…and you accept.

In a casual relationship, you might not even meet your partner’s family at all. But once things start getting serious, family starts to get involved. After all, they are a potential step-family as well. So, when you start getting a friend quest from your partner’s family members, you know that they’ve talked about you enough that the family is eager to meet you. If you feel the same way, there’s no reason not to accept!

7. You’re not afraid to give away your phone password.

Letting your partner into your phone is the ultimate form of trust. Some people like their privacy, and it doesn’t mean they’re hiding anything. But when your partner lets you into their phone, they know you’re probably going to snoop around – or, they trust you not to! Either way, they’re comfortable letting you into their phone and it shows they have nothing to hide, and that they trust you. Even better, of course, is getting your fingerprint added into their phone to open it with one touch.

8. You spread it on SM thick.

Whether it be Instagram, Facebook or SnapChat, if the both of you can’t resist snapping pictures of one another and showing each other off, you’re getting serious. Being able to show everyone who you’re with is a step further than just a casual thing. It means that you want your friends and family to be aware, and that your relationship is serious enough that you’ll put it on social media for everyone to see.

Judging how serious your relationship is in this day and age is much different than it used to be for our parents. Now, we use technology to interact, communicate and engage with one another. And with the use of social media, you might get mixed signals. Hopefully, knowing these signs will help you determine how serious your relationship is.

8 Behavioral Signs of A Toxic Relationship

July 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

You’ve heard all about a toxic relationships and what to do if you find yourself in one. You probably know all the signs of when you’re being manipulated and taken advantage of. But what happens when you’re actually the toxic partner? Being aware of your behavior and how you’re treating your partner can save both you and your partner a lot of emotional grief.

No one wants to believe that they’re toxic or unhealthy for their significant other. Sometimes, though, the truth just hurts. Being able to recognize the signs of your own toxic behavior can help you put a stop to it, and salvage your relationship – or, at least, make sure the next relationship you have can be a health and positive one.

If you catch yourself showing these behaviors, they are toxic and should be avoided in the future…

“If a normally kind, agreeable person makes an enemy of you, you ought to ask yourself why.” – Joyce Rachelle

1. You feel the need to make sure your partner doesn’t “get ahead”…

Feeling proud of your intelligence or your accomplishments are one thing. But if you view your partner as inferior, it will come across in the way you interact with them. They will be able to tell just how superior you feel to them, and it can easily become degrading and emotionally distressing for your partner.

If you often find yourself thinking that you’re much smarter than your partner, you might want to take a step back and figure out whether or not you’re using them as a backdrop for your only intelligence.

2. Conversations seem to always fall away from a positive tone

If you find that you’re constantly picking fights and being a pessimist when there’s no need to, you may be feeding toxicity into your relationship. This may stem from low self-esteem and a desire to make your partner feel on the same level as you do.

Surrounding yourself with positivity will help, as well working on your own self-esteem before pursuing a relationship. Getting a therapist to help work through your problems will help you become a more positive person, and less toxic in your relationships.

3. Threats of breaking up (without meaning to follow through)

If the only way you know how to end an argument is to threaten to break up, you’re definitely bringing toxic behaviors to the table. If your partner cares about you and wants the relationship to work, they’ll often drop their concerns and stop arguing every time you threaten to end the relationship. This is manipulative behavior and can damage any relationship.

Learning to communicate and compromise is hard, but you’ll need to take the difficult steps to figure it out. Take time to cool off during an argument if you need to rather than resorting to threats.

4. An uncontrollable temper

Sometimes, things can make us angry. However, if you find that it takes very little to make you angry and you become vicious and mean to your partner during a blow of your temper, you’re going to need to work on yourself before your relationship can become positive. A toxic relationship will stay toxic when you repeat the cycle of bursts of anger, cruelty and guilt. Learn how to manage your anger rather than allowing yourself to fly off the handle.

5. A difficulty with being wrong

Squabbles in relationships happen. There are often times where one partner or the other does something careless or thoughtless that hurts the other’s feelings. In a healthy relationship, you’ll be able to apologize, admit that you were wrong, and move forward. If you can’t remember the last time you apologized or admitted that something you did was hurtful or careless, you may be the toxic one in the relationship.

Relationships become unhealthy and lopsided when one partner is always apologizing. The best way to fix this is suck up your pride and admit when you’re wrong.

6. Avoiding responsibility for words and actions…

Hand in hand with never admitting you’re wrong, you don’t take responsibility for things that you’ve done. Instead, you opt to blame your partner, or blame something else. As long as you can shift the blame off of you, you’re happy.

Taking responsibility for your own actions can be difficult, but it’s what grownups do. Learning how to accept responsibility and move forward is a step that you have to take to avoid being toxic in all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.

7. More than ”just joking”…

Sometimes, teasing one another can be fun. But it’s only fun when everyone is enjoying themselves. Playfully teasing your partner can be harmless. However, it starts to become toxic when your remarks are public and hurtful and cause your partner to feel shame and humiliation. Even if you defend yourself with “Just joking,” your words can leave a lasting effect and make your partner feel degraded and insecure.

Put yourself in your partner’s place, and imagine how you would feel if they humiliated you.

8. Leaving your partner ‘high and dry’…

If your parents or friends are constantly slandering your partner and you don’t have their back, then you’re leaving them open to feeling insecure and vulnerable. Not sticking up for your partner is letting them know that they’re not important enough to you for you to protect them.

Relationships are about partnerships, and when one partner is putting in the effort that the other isn’t, the relationship becomes unhealthy. So, stop letting your parents criticize your partner’s hair, weight or job. Stick up for them and show them that you’ll always have one another.

Coming to the realization that you may be the problem in your relationship can be hard. But it isn’t the end to all be your worth as a person! People can change, and once you realize the things you’re bringing to the relationship are toxic, you’ll be better able to work on your behavior.

Your relationship may (or may not) be able to be salvaged, but your relationships in the future will be positive and healthy, and by changing your behavior, you’ll also be able to validate your partner’s feelings.

8 Signs You’re In An Addictive Relationship

July 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

People can become addicted to many things: alcohol, drugs, and sex. People can also become addicted to relationships. Addictive relationships are rarely healthy and usually detrimental to one person’s mental or physical health.

An addictive relationship involves one person giving everything they have and another person taking and continuing to ask for more while lacking reciprocation. Keep an eye out for signs of an addictive relationship.

8 SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS YOU’RE IN AN ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIP

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” – Ernest Hemingway

1. YOU RELY ON YOUR PARTNER FOR HAPPINESS

If you’re constantly seeking out your partner to make you feel happy – or to make you feel anything – you may be in an addictive relationship. If you think otherwise depressed and the only thing that brings out the joy in you is your relationship, it may be addictive.

The best thing to do is start seeking out happiness on your own. Look to friends and family for support. Also, find something in your life that makes you feel happy on your own.

2. YOU HAVE TROUBLE ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP

You’re keenly aware that it isn’t a good relationship, and it’s not making you happy. But despite all that, you’re having trouble letting go. Even when you’re unhappy, you would rather be with your partner than alone. You know deep down that the relationship needs to go, but the fear of alone seems worse.

The best way to combat those feelings is to build a support network of friends and family. You may also consider seeking a therapist to help you battle your feelings of being alone.

3. YOU THINK YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR PARTNER

You’ve convinced yourself that things will be better if only a few things about your partner were different – like a key, fundamental parts of their entire personality. Not only that, but you’ve convinced yourself that you can be the one who can change them. People can and do change, but the change has to come from within.

Don’t merely hope that your love will make your partner into a better, more understanding, or considerate person.

4. YOU SEEK OUT NEW RELATIONSHIPS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE END OF ANOTHER

That fear of being alone will eat at you and eat at you until you seek out another relationship to fill the hole left by the one that has just ended. This is a vital sign of an addictive relationship. You’re addicted to the feeling of validation and feel overwhelmed when alone.

Learn to love yourself. Perhaps singlehood will benefit you in the long run and all for your future relationships. Once you’re able to learn to be by yourself, you’ll be able to seek out healthy and positive relationships, not just available.

5. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE OFTEN LONG-DISTANCE, OR WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE UNAVAILABLE TO YOU

Maybe you find yourself getting into relationships over the internet, or you often find yourself being the other woman to a married man. This type of behavior ensures that you get the feeling of never being alone while also making sure that you won’t get hurt. Examine your past relationships and see if you can find a pattern of getting involved with unavailable partners. You may be in the way of addictive relationships. Try connecting with people who can give you the emotional availability and support you need. You will be amazed to find that being with someone available can make your relationships more fulfilling.

Try connecting with people who can give you the emotional availability and support that you need – you’ll be amazed to find that being with someone available can make your relationships a million times more fulfilling.

6. YOU NEVER SAY NO

Your relationship may be addictive if you find that saying ‘no’ to your partner is extremely hard. In other aspects of your life, you may be entirely independent, but you will always concede and defer to your partner in your relationship. Perhaps your fear of being alone keeps you from speaking out.

Practice being more assertive and negotiating compromises. If your partner cannot deal with your boundaries, you’re better off without them. You deserve to be able to assert yourself in every type of relationship, especially intimate ones.

7. EVEN AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER, YOU CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

When relationships end, many people take a few weeks or a couple of months to get over their partner. Relationships ending can be devastating, especially if they are severe and long-term. On the other hand, you may have been addicted to that relationship if you find that you’re unable to stop thinking about it even years down the line. Seeking out help from friends and family and a therapist can help you deal with the end of the relationship and help you learn to move on.

8. YOUR PARTNER’S HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN

If you find yourself sacrificing what will make you happy for your partner’s happiness every single time, you may be in an addictive relationship. Being constantly looked at to pleasure while neglecting your own can be tiring, and in other situations, you might not tolerate it. On the other hand, fear of being alone can dominate how you rationalize things, especially when providing your partner with happiness at the expense of your own.

It can be hard to spot an addictive relationship if you’re in the middle of it because you often feel like you need to get past a “bump in the road,” and everything will turn out alright. If you feel like you’re constantly trying to get past that bump, you may want to look at your relationship critically for signs of an addiction. Looking to a support network for the strength to overcome an addictive relationship can turn your whole outlook on relationships around, so you’ll be better equipped to make lasting, positive relationships.

Should You Be In A Relationship? Here are 6 Reasons To Say Yes

July 21, 2017 by Power of Positivity

No one size fits all in determining the value of a (real or potential) intimate relationship. In reality, arguments can be made on both sides. Dr. Barton Goldsmith, an author and relationship expert, is a proponent of intimate relationships. He is humble enough to admit, however, “there are a number of people who could write (the opposite.)”

This article may prove valuable for those still unsure whether a relationship is right for them. It may also have the same effect on people reeling from a past relationship, someone mistreated, and many others.

Please understand that the following makes no attempt to persuade anyone of anything. In fact, this article will provide both entertainment and, when applicable, education.

Here are six reasons to be in a relationship – and how to make things work.

“Healthy relationships require effort – and that’s a large part of what makes them so rewarding.” – Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D.

1. For companionship and shared experiences

Each one of us falls somewhere along the “introvert-extrovert” scale – this includes people in the middle, who are referred to as “ambiverts.” Most introverts crave solitude, if for no other reason than to recharge. But even the most introverted of introverts have a pretty good chance of developing a need for romance at some point.

Loneliness, a feeling that most of us have experienced is akin to depression in some ways. Friends can only meet some physical and emotional needs. A partner is someone with whom you can share your life and have fun.

2. For loving and caring

Provided that you don’t suffer from abandonment issues (which often trigger a personal barrier to a healthy and committed relationship), an intimate partner supplies you with plenty of love. There is nothing that compares to the blissful feeling of both giving and receiving love and care.

The sharing of love is one of life’s greatest gifts – and something for which human beings are specially designed. The human ability to both give and receive love is unmatched by anything else in the animal kingdom. It is perhaps the best reason to find the love of your life.

3. For growing and learning

Along with our parents, teachers, and mentors, our partner possesses the capacity to help us grow and learn in spectacular ways. Intimacy can encourage growth and learn through cognitive, emotional, social, and myriad other ways.

Maybe the most significant things our partners teach us have to do with, well, us. For example, the following scenario has played out many times: a guy or gal with commitment issues, after years of “trial and error,” experiences a dramatic shift in both heart and mind, eventually settling down with their soulmate.

Life is a cycle of continual learning. Just like babies, we learn by absorbing the world around us. Sometimes the things our partner teaches us are beautiful beyond words.

4. For meaning

Many of those among us who’ve been single (especially for an extended period) before finding our “one” can attest to the “deeper meaning of things.” This one is kind of hard to put the finger on because of its subjective nature. Dr. Suzanne Degges-White explains this transformation quite well:

“Every experience with your new partner can seem like the first time that any couple has experienced what you two do. Food tastes better, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener (or the snow is fluffier) – whatever the season, it’s the best you’ve ever enjoyed.”

5. For help and support

On the surface, this notion may not seem the most romantic. Nevertheless, it is true! Two heads are better than one. Our partner can help us feel supported. Furthermore, that special someone often helps us solve problems more efficiently than if we were to tackle them by ourselves.

Anyone in a healthy relationship will attest to the importance of being able to go to their partner for assistance and support. You should feel that level of comfort, no matter what the issue may be. There’s a certain sense of warmth and appreciation felt from both ends when overcoming obstacles, both small and large.

6. For children and a loving family

While childbearing has been trending downward, many people in intimate relationship still desire to have at least one child. Multiple studies show that children born or adopted into a stable family environment are happier and less likely to develop psychological and developmental problems.

Parenting is both deeply satisfying and challenging; having a partner for support adds to this satisfaction and makes overcoming the challenges of childrearing a lot easier!

Final Thoughts: How to save your endangered relationship

As you likely know, the divorce rate hovers around 50 percent in the U.S. (38 percent in Canada.) We’re going to make the fair assumption that divorce causes are similar to separation in a long-term relationship.

Per multiple studies, the following relationship attributes are considered the most important for sustaining any long-term relationship:

Effective and frequent communication
Honesty and trust
Respect for individual space
Mutual respect
Ability to overcome the need for control

The 5 Main Symptoms Of Chronic, Major and Manic Depression

July 21, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Depression continues to soar to epidemic levels. Today, look at the three most common types: chronic, major, and manic depression.

The above statement is not hyperbole. Indeed, even the World Health Organization agrees:

“Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression. (It) is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease.” – The World Health Organization

Frustration and Bafflement

When a person experiences the symptoms of depression, they’re scared, frustrated, and baffled at the same time.

So consider this explanation of the causes of depression from the World Health Organization (WHO):

“Depression results from a complex interaction of social, psychological and biological factors.”

In other words, depression can originate from societal factors and underlying brain and body problems.

So this doesn’t tell us much.

However, one thing scientists have come to a consensus about is people who experience an “adverse life event (unemployment, bereavement, psychological trauma)” are at a higher risk of developing depression. Sadly, depression’s effects on a person’s mind are far-reaching. Every thought seems cloudy. Furthermore, life seems pointless.

And people don’t know why the hell it’s happening to them.

As a writer, it’s never a joyous occasion to write about depression. However, there is comfort in knowing that this article may provide some answers to someone who desperately needs them. On that note, we will have a series of articles about depression types, including the causes, symptoms, and treatments of each type.

This article focuses on the three most prominent kinds of depression.

The 5 Main Symptoms Of Major, Chronic, and Manic Depression

1. Major Depressive Disorder

Major Depressive Disorder, or MDD, is a constant feeling of hopelessness and despair. MDD patients commonly report that the disorder makes it difficult for them to eat, sleep, study, work, or participate in once-enjoyable activities.

Although many cases exist, there is a genetic component to MDD wherein a person develops the illness with no family history. Environmental factors and life events like those described above can trigger MDD.

The five main symptoms of MDD are:

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Feeling overwhelmed with sadness or despair
Impaired concentration and decisiveness
Diminished pleasure in once-enjoyable activities
Fatigue or lacking energy nearly every day

Furthermore, the culmination of severe symptoms may result in suicidal ideations (please see the end of the article for more information.)

Additionally, the common triggers of MDD include:

Loss of a loved one through death, divorce, or separation
Social isolation
Major life changes, such as graduation, job change, moving, or retirement
Personal conflicts in relationships
Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse

Treatment of MDD (or clinical depression) usually requires one or more: antidepressant medication, psychotherapy, and holistic treatments, including intense therapy counseling, examining diet and lifestyle, etc.

2. Dysthymia (i.e. Chronic Depression)

Also called “mild” and “chronic” depression, dysthymia is a variation of depression lasting two or more years. Generally, people diagnosed with dysthymia are considered to be suffering from mild symptoms. In many instances, the symptoms last longer than other types.

The major symptoms of dysthymia include:

Loss of enjoyment in once-pleasurable things
Consistent sadness or depressed mood
Loss of energy or fatigue
Insomnia or excessive sleep
Problems with concentration and making decisions

Treatment of dysthymia is not as rigorous or problematic as MDD (and many other types). Talk therapy and antidepressants are by far the more common treatments prescribed.

3. Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder)

Manic depression, which some call bipolar disorder, is a condition that causes the patient to experience “extreme highs” followed by “extreme lows.” The individual will often feel extreme levels of energy that cause severe adverse effects.

Known as a state of mania, the patient can experience “sleeplessness [sometimes for days], along with hallucinations, psychosis, grandiose delusions, or paranoid rage.”

Of all depression types, manic depression is the most difficult to treat. The illness is also thought to inflict the most distress on the patient. More than 90 percent of individuals with bipolar I disorder, the most serious, have at least one psychiatric hospitalization.

The depressive symptoms of manic depression mirror those of MDD. The manic symptoms distinguish the disease and differ between the two types (bipolar I and bipolar II.)

Bipolar I manic depression symptoms are:

Detached and racing thoughts
Grandiose beliefs
Irregular elation or euphoria
Irregular irritability
Random (very high) energy spikes

Bipolar II, the less-serious form of manic depression (“milder periods of elation” and “an absence of psychosis [delusions or hallucinations]”), includes the following manic symptoms:

The decreased need for sleep
Extreme focus on projects at work or home
Exuberant and elated mood
Reckless behavior
Increased creativity and productivity

Treatment of manic depression by western doctors involves using mood stabilizers such as lithium). In place of lithium, the physician may prescribe an anticonvulsant (anti-seizure), antipsychotic, or benzodiazepine (to induce relaxation).

Seven tips on how to beat depression

Help others

You need to take care of yourself but don’t forget to reach out to others. When you help others, it gives you a sense of purpose and a feeling of being useful. Try reaching out to others at a homeless shelter, food kitchen, tutoring center, or animal shelter. You’ll be surprised how much it helps you when you help others.

Be sure to get enough sleep

Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep. Staying up too late at night and then sleeping all day adds to your depression. Create a regular bedtime to help your mind and body relax before sleep.

Get some exercise

It’s important to get exercise every day to help you fight depression. But you don’t need to belong to a gym to exercise. You can do many activities to get your blood flowing to improve your mood. Here are a few physical activities you can do:

Walking
Hiking
Bike riding
Gardening
Dancing

Be sure to read

Reading can reduce your depression symptoms. A study found that students who read daily had better overall mental health and fewer feelings of distress. When you read you escape into the novel, you learn about people’s trials and how they overcame them. It gives you courage and hope for your own life. Other benefits of reading a book, include:

Helps you relax at bedtime: Many people swear they sleep better when they read before bedtime. It’s a great way to wind down and relax. Try adding book reading into your regular bedtime routine to see if you sleep better and feel happier.
Reduces your stressful feelings: Reading calms the mind and body. It lowers your blood pressure and heart rate, similar to meditating. Fiction books are the best genres to provide relaxation.
Brain exercise: Reading exercises your mind. It keeps your mind active and alert.

Schedule some fun

Scheduling fun things is a simple way to help lift your mood. Don’t wait until you’re feeling better-take that mini-vacation to the beach this weekend. Get a friend or two to go with you. It’s easy to put off fun, but improving your mental state is necessary.

Play a video game

Researchers say individuals who struggle with depression may find relief from regularly playing video games. An NIH study found that by when they played a fast-paced action video game, depressed patients experienced better cognitive abilities. While puzzle-like video games were better suited for improving the moods of depressed individuals.

Own a pet

A cuddling little companion could be what you need to help ease your depression. Pets give you purpose and a sense of security. If you own a dog, you’re apt to meet people in your neighborhood while walking your dog. Plus, you’ll get more exercise because your pooch needs to go out regularly. Whether you choose a sweet pup or a cuddly kitty, getting a pet could help chase away your blues.

Final thoughts on depression

Having extreme depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. Get help right away. If you or someone you know have thoughts of suicide, don’t hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, which is available 24 hours daily. The website is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

7 Signs Someone May Be Harming Themselves

July 21, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Self-destructive behavior can be easy to fall into, and hard to climb back out of. This is especially true for those of us who may suffer from mental illness such as an anxiety or depression. Sometimes, you don’t even notice when your life has become overrun with self-destructive behaviors.

And when you do notice, you have no idea how to make them stop. Getting a full understanding of self-destructive behaviors is the first step to realizing how to make them stop. If you, or someone that you love, is exhibiting this behaviour, it may be time to take a step back and see what there is to be done.

7 Signs someone may be harming themselves

“Unless we learn to know ourselves, we run the danger of harming ourselves.” Ja A. Jahannes

1. A lost feeling of purpose and motivation…

Feeling lazy is natural. Many people deserve to have some time where they can just indulge in being lazy. The issue arises when you find yourself unable to delegate this behavior to a short amount of time, or you’re letting yourself be lazy when you know you should be doing something productive. It can be hard to keep yourself motivated, but the answer isn’t to let yourself put off things that need doing.

If you find putting yourself to work overwhelming, try breaking up your tasks into manageable chunks, and then allow yourself a quick rest between each bout of work.

2. Often making excuses for irresponsible actions…

Someone could make excuses for anything and everything – from still smoking even though you know it’s bad for them, to still being at the same job they hate, to giving up on dreams. Self-harming behavior starts with justification. To break out of the habit of making excuses, people must confront the hard truths of what is wanted out of life, and how to achieve them.

This may mean stepping out of a shell and making decisions that may not be easy…

3. A frequent default to linger on emotion/self-pity

When bad things happen, it’s hard not to feel pity for ourselves. This isn’t the same as grief or mourning. When people grieve and mourn something bad that’s happened, the point is to release emotions and eventually move on. Self-destructive people will continually feel bad for themselves but refuse to take action. They’ll justify these feelings with the idea that ‘Bad things just happen to me’.

The best course of action is to move on after something bad has happened, and don’t dwell on all the negative things that have gone wrong.

This behavior will only ensure that you spend time wallowing in self-pity that could be used to rectify or better a situation.

4. Increasing isolated behaviors

This doesn’t have to be an intentional act. Sometimes, people just tend to always break plans with the excuse that they’re too tired, or they’ll check in with someone later. The issue is that later never comes. Other times, this can be a very intentional thing. People will isolate themselves by intentionally alienating their friends and family. They’ll justify this to themselves by thinking that everyone always leaves them anyway. People who are isolated don’t have a support network of people who can help them.

If you find that you’re suddenly all alone, you need to reach out to someone and make a connection.

5. Neglecting needs…

People who are self-destructive aren’t particularly good at taking care of themselves. This is to say, they often don’t have healthy eating or exercising habits, they don’t get enough sleep, they don’t shower regularly and they don’t bother to pick up the house. This can be an easy pattern to fall into, especially when they are living with depression. Taking care of yourself just seems so hard, and it’s easier to let things go.

The best way to combat this is to do just a little each day. Pick up one corner of your apartment, or just wash your hair. Dealing with the overwhelming task of readjusting your life after letting it go for so long can be daunting. The best course of action is to go slow and you’ll eventually see an improvement.

6. Signs of substance abuse…

Using drugs and alcohol can help someone feel better for a little while. But in the end, it can become a crutch, and an unhealthy one at that. Drugs and alcohol can cause addiction, and addiction can hurt you and everyone around you. It’s a self-destructive habit that will only lead to feeling good while either drunk or high, and you’ll continue to need more and more to feel better.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of drugs or alcohol, reach out to friends and family for support, or find a support group that can help you get everything back on track.

7. SELF-HARM

The hallmark of a self-destructive person is intentional self-harm. This can be from cutting the arms or legs, to intentionally refusing to feed themselves, to having intentionally unpleasant or violent sex. Self-harm comes in all sorts of shades, and the first thing you need to do is seek help.

A professional will be able to help you cope with your feelings and the stress you face in your day-to-day life so you won’t have to seek out these behaviors. If you know someone who is exhibiting signs of self-harm, the best thing to do is to make sure they know that you’re there for them for support. You can’t force them to get help, but you can be there for them when they’re ready to seek it.

Self-destructive behaviors come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Maybe you think you’re just treating yourself to a day off, or you’re just a messy person who lives in a messy home. You may not know that your behavior is making your life worse before it’s become out of control. But there’s always a choice to turn your life around and to make your self-destructive behaviors into constructive habits that allow you to lead a more fulfilling and happier life.

Never be afraid to reach out to a support system of family or friends for help with have one of these behaviors.

References:
Emory Ann; 3 Classic Signs Of Self-Destructive Behavior (And How To Overcome Them); http://thoughtcatalog.com/emory-ann/2014/09/3-classic-signs-of-self-destructive-behavior-and-how-to-overcome-them/
Matt Duczeminski; 12 Signs Of Self-Destructive People; http://www.lifehack.org/289458/12-signs-self-destructive-people

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Help others

Be sure to get enough sleep

Get some exercise

Be sure to read

Schedule some fun

Play a video game

Own a pet

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!