Breakups are tough and unpleasant. No one likes dealing with them, but unfortunately, they’re an intrinsic part of life. One of the most common causes for ending a relationship is arguments. Whether it’s something small that escalates into feelings you kept bottled up for a while or a sudden realization that you and your partner don’t share the same viewpoint on an important issue, some things are just way too big to talk through.
Even couples that are most devoted to each other argue and sometimes even breakup because it’s a part of life. But if you find yourself arguing with your significant other more and more, especially about important things, this may be a sign that your relationship is nearing its end. Here are some of the most common arguments that can end a relationship almost immediately.
Here Are 10 Arguments That Can End A Relationship
“Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance.” – Robert Quillen
1. The stress argument
We all live under various stress factors in our lives. Sometimes it’s good to share that with our partners; however, offloading all our stress onto our significant other is a big no-no. At the same time, the other extreme of bottling everything in can be even worse. Research has shown that an inability to open up and share your stress with your partner can actually be one of the number one causes of arguments within committed relationships. It’s a challenge to achieve that golden balance of sharing just the right amount of information about what you’re dealing with. Finding a way to openly communicate with your partner will eliminate the stress argument straight away.
Finances will always be a tough thing to work out together, as it’s such a sensitive issue to attempt to even figure out. However, arguing about who has more money or whether the money you spend on something is too much/too little may well mean that you weren’t meant for each other. Arguments like that reveal a basic rift between your values or understanding of the world. Additionally, they often show exactly what you think of the other person in the relationship. If the top earner between you tries to undermine the other because of finances, then it’s a sure sign that this partnership is nearing its breakup point.
While there are few things that significant others need to agree on from the get-go to ensure a peaceful cohabitation – an agreement regarding kids is definitely one of them. If you desperately want kids and your partner is adamant on staying childless, you can’t just expect for that enormous rift to go away. Additionally, if you already have children, differences of opinion on how to raise them and on the best parenting practices can also easily cause the end of a relationship.
4. Abandoned dreams
Relationships are all about compromise and making sure the other person is just as happy as you are. However, they may also mean passing up on lucrative opportunities because that would mean breaking up. If this has happened and it’s something one of you is still sour about, that can easily come back and bite you when you least expect it. That kind of negativity can be carried along for a very long time and it can grow into a huge relationship-ending type of problem.
5. Other people
And we’re not talking about friendships. Insecurity, experts agree, is perhaps the number one reason why relationships end. If you and your partner are constantly having arguments about someone’s wandering eyes, that means one of you is insecure in the strength of your relationship and is seeing the other as a cheater. This isn’t a difference that can be ironed out easily and it’s a lot more complicated than just jealousy. It’s born out of a fear that someone will get cheated on.
6. The downtime argument
Or, better known as the introvert-extrovert dilemma. If your ideas of a relaxing Sunday evening are extremely different, where one wants to go out clubbing and another wants to spend it on the sofa with Netflix, it means there’s a big mismatch between your personalities. Those kinds of arguments can easily grow into bigger issues about respect. Ultimately, they also highlight a difference in character that’s really difficult to overcome.
7. Intimate moment arguments
People have different intimate drives and different preferences in the bedroom, but if your preferences are so different from your partner’s that you end up arguing about it, that is a sign of trouble. Physical intimacy shouldn’t be forced or thought about in too much detail. If one of you worries about it to such an extent, there’s something inherently wrong in the way you feel about each other. Whether it’s insecurity or boredom, there’s always a deeper reason why you may be having less intimate moments than normal. Communication is key in resolving this issue to prevent a breakup.
This may sound menial, but fights over chores can easily end year-long marriages. Normally they are a sign of deeper underlying issues, such as a feeling that the other person isn’t pulling their weight in the household, or just a desire to be a bit more equal. To avoid this dangerous argument, split up the chores based on who does what best – and don’t fall into age-old gender stereotypes either! There’s nothing wrong with men cooking or doing the dishes.
This is one of the hardest ones to tackle as it often manifests in unexpected ways. If one partner is unhappy in the relationship, positive thinking becomes a challenge. If they’re unable to get over it – they find ways to pick fights with the other without telling them what they really feel. Try and communicate more clearly and think about the true cause of your unhappiness. It could signal that this relationship has run its course.
10. The same fight, over and over again
Last but not least, some fights happen more than others. If you find yourself constantly arguing over the fact that your significant other is spending more time with their friends, or that you’re bad with money, then that means it’s something you simply can’t get over. A compromise is no longer possible, so you need to either look for outside help or come to terms with the fact that the relationship has come to an end.
It’s hard to stay positive when arguments like these happen, but knowing the early signs of a breakup in a relationship may save you more suffering in a long time. Even if it’s unpleasant now, you will feel like it was the right thing to do eventually. It might take a while to get over, but things will get better in time.