Everyone’s been there at some point – losing the love of their lives and having to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of the storm. We can’t predict losing someone we love, just as we can’t predict much else in this world; sometimes, the love we thought we had just goes away, and we have to try to understand it. We have to move on and learn the lessons from the breakup, and try to mend our hearts in the process. Breakups can feel just as heart-wrenching as the grief you feel after a relative passes away; the hole in your heart just makes you feel empty, lost, and broken.
However, even though breakups can tear you apart and steal your smiles in the short-term, they teach important lessons in the long-term. Also, they remind you that you can feel, and that enough should make one thankful to exist on this beautiful planet. The fact that you can feel sadness means you can, in turn, feel happy once again after the pain has subsided and your heart has healed. So, if you are/have gone through a difficult breakup recently, keep on reading for some words of encouragement.
Take a moment, right now, to just breathe. Breathe in life, breathe out fear and sadness. Breathe because it centers you, grounds you, and reminds you that you have a purpose. You came here to this planet to learn lessons for your personal journey, so inevitably, that includes getting hurt from time to time. Even if you thought you were with the love of your life, you WILL get through this. This too shall pass. You have to face your feelings, and not run from them. If you don’t want to get out of bed for a couple days, honor yourself. Do what feels right for you, and move on at your own pace.
Get your feelings out in a healthy manner. Talk to friends and family, keep a journal, sing breakup songs, go to the gym and sweat out your anger, etc. The worst thing you could do right now is keep those feelings inside, because they will end up haunting you. They’ll sabotage your happiness and chance at moving on, and create resentment. If you and your ex still talk, you might consider just telling them how you feel. This way, you can release all those heavy emotions and start the healing process.
Most importantly, always remember that you can create a new form of happiness. If you associated your ex with happiness, think back to the time before you met them. What else made you happy before they entered into your life?
See, you can probably list at least a few things, right? Well then, you’ve reached a powerful conclusion: if you found happiness before the love of your life, then you CAN find it again. Our minds work in mysterious ways – we can get so wrapped up in the mere existence of someone, that it becomes all we see. However, once they leave the picture, we act as if we lost everything, and we have nothing left. In the process, we also forget about everything else we have going for us in our lives. We forget about the activities, places, and other people that bring us joy.
Don’t get me wrong, breakups absolutely hurt, and can take a while to get over. They might cause you to hide under your covers and forget the world some days, but it won’t stay that way forever. The pain will subside, and you’ll start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So, if you’re going through a tough breakup right now, just keep this in mind – no pain lasts forever, and you will find something else that makes you feel alive. It doesn’t even have to be another person; it can be a new hobby, a passion, a dream. During the healing process, truly take time to get to know yourself again. Breakups, while painful, make a great opportunity to further explore yourself and grow as a person.
Many times, we lose pieces of ourselves during a breakup or an unhealthy relationship, so consider it a blessing from the universe. It wants you to rediscover the parts of yourself that you lost, and become a whole person again. Breakups may feel like the end of the world, but really, they’re just the beginning of a whole new one. Never forget that.