Page 348

15 Red Flags That A Couple is Close to Ending a Relationship

October 14, 2021 by Chris Butler

How do you know if you’re close to ending a relationship? Indeed, many people stay long past the expiration of their marriage. But how do you know when and if it’s the right time to say goodbye?

Matters of the heart are never easy to manage, but calling it quits can be a painful process that many folks try to avoid.

Having finances, assets, and children involved in the situation always makes everything more complex. Is there a way to know if you’re better off apart than together? When relationships aren’t working, they can become unhealthy for all involved.

It takes a big person to stand up and say that they want to leave. Consequently, how do you know if it’s over or just a normal dry spell that many couples go through? There are many indications or red flags that it’s the right time to call it quits, but are you brave enough to admit that you’re close to walking away for good?

Fifteen Signs a Couple Is Close To Ending a Relationship

If you think your relationship isn’t going to last, you may have many questions. You may wonder if there are any signs that things are over or if there’s any glimmer of hope left between you two. Here are fifteen common indications that indicate a couple is close to saying goodbye.

1. There’s No Communication

Communication is one of the foundational building blocks in a relationship. If you don’t communicate with one another, you suddenly lose interest in their day, week, or life. When you find that you live your life with no text messages, phone calls, or time to talk about their life occurrences, it’s a sign of trouble.

2. You Spend No Time Together

You were once the center of their universe, but now they barely know you exist. You don’t spend any time together, and you haven’t been out to eat or to a movie in so long you can’t remember the last time. You spend more time with friends and family members than the one who once was the center of your world.

3. All You Do Is Argue if You’re Close to Ending a Relationship

When you do spend any time together, all you do is argue. You’re not even sure what you say about it because the fighting has become so frequent that you can’t get along regarding any matter. You would rather avoid them altogether, as it means one peaceful day with no fighting.

4. You Separate Finances

You know the end is in sight, so you’ve decided to separate finances that were once together. You’ve got your insurance policy, and now there’s a checking account that the other party doesn’t have access to.

You run your home like a business where each party pays half. While this is acceptable in many households today, yours was never that way before. However, you’re learning a new financial normal, and you’re not unhappy about it either.

5. You Lead Separate Lives When on the Verge of Ending a Relationship

You have your friends and things to do, and they have theirs. You two don’t do anything together, so you’re not sure why you stay. You feel like business partners more than friends or even lovers.

6. The Relationship Has Turned Abusive

When ending a relationship is too hard for you, your time together can turn sour. There can be issues of verbal or even physical abuse. You should know that you don’t have to take this kind of behavior as you deserve better.

It’s often thought that women are the victims at a man’s hands, but studies show that men frequently suffer from abusive relationships in silence. Psych Central says there are many reasons why men don’t reach out for help. They are normalization, minimization, shame, fear, isolation, betrayal, and a lack of support. Men need to speak out and get help as they can be victims too.

7. You Can’t Stand To Be In The Same Room

Once your skin tingled when they walked by, but now you feel like it’s crawling with disgust. You can’t stand to be near them, and they feel the same. You live in the same house but avoid each other at all costs.

8. Sleeping in Separate Rooms

You’ve decided that you should have your own space, so you now occupy the guest bedroom. You don’t want to think about even accidentally touching during the night, so you moved out. You like having your own space and the independence it brings, which is a red flag that a couple is close to ending a relationship.

9. When You’re Close to Ending a Relationship, You Have Less or No Intimacy

All the hugging, kissing, cuddling, and all the beautiful things that made your relationship so wonderful have stopped. You don’t communicate with one another, let alone touch. If they did try to hug or show any affection, you would reject it immediately.

10. There’s a Third Party In The Equation

One or both of you is talking to someone new. You are so close to leaving that you’re planning your escape with someone else. Neither one of you has made it official, but it’s over, and you’ve moved on.

11. No Terms of Endearment

Forget using cute little pet names or other terms of endearment that you once did, as now you call them by their name. You wouldn’t think of using honey, sweetie, or baby when contacting them, as it makes your stomach turn to think about it. You can’t even imagine saying the words “I love you” either.

12. Future Plans Don’t Include Your Spouse

You’re making plans for your future, but it doesn’t include them at all. You have big dreams and goals, but they’ve changed and have excluded the one person who you thought would be yours forever. Your future looks bright, but they’re not in it.

13. Spending More Time With Friends

Any free time you have is spent with your family and friends. You make plans that don’t include or revolve around your current relationship. You can think of 100 things you would instead do than spend two hours in the same room with them, let alone going out on the town.

14. One or Both People Refuse to Work on Relationship

You know there are issues in the relationship, and you’ve suggested counseling. However, one or both of you refuse to work on the problems. Counseling isn’t an option, and you feel that it’s a lost cause.

You think it would have been more beneficial to try to patch the holes in the Titanic. No matter what you do, your ship is sinking, and you want to jump overboard.

15. There’s Secretive Social Media Behavior

Social media is the cause of many breakups in this country. Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., wrote an article on Psychology Today regarding social media and how it interferes with relationships. It often creates anxiety and jealousy when one partner is on social media outlets constantly. It’s effortless to find other friends and even lovers when you’re on these social channels, so it can be a big problem when a couple is on the outs.

If you notice any differences in social media habits like creating new screen names, changing passwords, or becoming secretive about their interactions, it’s all red flags. If your partner is considering leaving, they may look for a plan B, so they can make their escape without being alone. For many people, the thought of being alone is scarier than being with someone they no longer love.

Final Thoughts on Key Signs That a Couple Is Close To Ending a Relationship

Ending a relationship can be one of the most challenging decisions you will make in your life. While marriage is not the institution it once was, no one gets together intending to go to divorce court one day. You choose your partner to spend forever with, and ending a relationship is hard to do.

What is it about the words “until death do us part” that seems to play like a loop over and over in your brain? Facing the prospect of walking away and letting this person go seems so overwhelming. Though things aren’t good between the two of you right now, how can you live without them?

Being single again doesn’t seem fun to anyone, especially if you remember how dark and lonely the nights become. If it seems like an unbearable burden to take care of the home, finances and have no one there to hold you when you cry, you should know that fear is not a reason to stay. Many people stay in unhappy relationships because they don’t know anything else.

However, if you and your partner are no longer suitable for one another, it’s possible you would be better apart. It would help if you learned to put your doubts aside and stop telling yourself that things will get better, as it’s clear they’re only getting worse. Only you can decide if it’s time to call it quits, or is there something left that’s worth fighting for.

4 Positive Ways To Teach Your Kids to Behave Without Punishment

October 14, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Punishment has been a part of raising children for centuries. But recent research has shown, time and time again, that it may actually be ineffective. Not only is it often counterproductive, but it can also create long-lasting emotional scars. Chances are that you have some of your own from how your parents raised you!

But if you’re not going to use punishment, what forms of discipline are acceptable? Here are four positive ways to teach your kids how to behave without punishment.

1. Model The Desired Behavior

Children have a tendency to copy the behavior that they see. You can use this to your advantage when teaching them by modeling the behavior you’d like them to learn and remember. This is because:

Observation has a positive role in the early education of children; it helps kids to learn when they can see what to imitate.
Younger children often want to be like their parents, and copying your actions will allow them to do that.
Older kids may begin to question why they aren’t allowed to do something that you’re allowed to do; the whole “because I said so” phrase doesn’t really work, and as they get older, most children will question it!
When your children aren’t sure what to do, they may default to doing what they’ve seen you do before.
You don’t have to spend a lot of time specifically teaching your kids every single detail if you allow them to learn by example.

Of course, this is easier said than done. Many parents realize quickly that their children are their mirrors, but it’s hard to control your actions perfectly around kids even when you’re trying your best and using all your positive thinking. That’s why you should also model behaviors that show you in the wrong and how you correct yourself.

For example:

Apologize when you make mistakes, especially to your child or to other members of your family.
Actively work to make up for wrongdoing or mistakes and let your child see how you do so.
Allow yourself to continue to be flawed and show your child that flaws are normal and part of being human; they do not have to strive for perfection, only to do their best as you do!
Show forgiveness to others to demonstrate that your child will be similarly forgiven when they apologize for their mistakes and make up for them.

2. Express Your Faith In Their Goodness

Children misbehave, but that’s not something that should define them. They’re not a “troublemaker” or a “problem child”, or even just “stubborn” or “a crybaby”. Sure, kids do all sorts of irrational things, but that’s just part and parcel of being a small child with a developing brain!

Basically, your kid is more than who they are when they do bad things or make a fuss, but if they already have a long history of getting in trouble, they begin to define themselves that way. They may feel frustrated because they always seem to do bad things and get admonished, or they may think that’s just who they are.

How do you counteract this? Well, when you begin a lesson, correction, or any form of discipline, express your faith in your child’s goodness first. This means explaining that you know they didn’t mean to do something wrong, or that you think this negative behavior is out of character given the positive traits they have.

For example:

Instead of saying “Stop being such a bully and pushing your sister around!”, say “You’re normally such a kind and caring person… I saw that you were pushing your sister around.”. Then, redirect them to: “Your sister looks very sad. Can you think of anything that might have upset her?”
Instead of saying “Why are you so lazy? You should have remembered to bring your toys back in! I’m taking away your toys until you learn your lesson.”, say “I know you didn’t mean to, but your toys were left outside and they got rained on.” Then, redirect them to: “Your toys need to be dried and then kept properly. While you’re doing that, try and think of some ways that can help you to remember next time.”
Instead of saying “You took your friend’s book home with you? You’re such a little thief!”, say “You probably didn’t know this was bad, but bringing home your friend’s things without their permission is not allowed.” Then, redirect them to “Let’s write an apology note to your friend and make sure to give the book back to them tomorrow. Can you tell them that you understand now that you need their permission before you take things?”

This way of handling a child’s misbehavior ensures that they understand the wrongness of their actions without making them feel like they have to defend themselves or be labeled as “wrongdoers”. You’re allowing them to see that you believe in their ability to correct their mistakes, learn from them, and do the right thing in the future. This positive thinking will motivate them to do better.

3. Allow For Natural Consequences

Punishment involves imposing consequences on children to “show them” the results of their actions. But the reality of life is that all actions already have consequences naturally. Allowing these consequences to occur can promote learning, as your kids have to learn from their mistakes if they want to avoid further problems. You don’t need to do anything yourself – just let natural consequences take their course.

Of course, make sure these natural consequences are safe and reasonable for your child and their age! Sending a child to bed without dinner because they didn’t come down in time isn’t acceptable, for example, but letting them have the leftovers that may not have been their first choice is. Or, if your child insisted on not wearing a jacket but it’s now very cold for them, take them aside and guide them to understand how their decision is now affecting them, and then give them something to warm them.

4. Praise Them For Doing Positive Things

Children love receiving attention, and while they’re still cultivating healthier intrinsic motivation, they can learn through praise as a means of getting that attention. Praise has consistently more positive effects on a child’s behavior, motivation to learn and correct themselves, and general development and improvement than criticism and punishment.

When you punish a kid or yell at them for doing bad things, you’re telling them, “If you do this bad thing, I will give you attention”. They will begin to perform negative actions and act out as a means of receiving even negative focus from you. As such, this kind of explosive shouting and punishment can reinforce behavior.

On the other hand, when you praise a child, you’re showing them that the things you care most about and will give them attention for are the good things that they do. If they want your attention, they have to do positive things, or at least approach you in positive ways.

So how can you put this knowledge into action? There are a few ways:

· Make An Effort To Notice Positive Things

It’s natural for human beings to notice bad things before good ones, and parents fall for this too. It’s hard to take note of the tiny good things your child does, but their misbehaviors stick out a lot! Try and keep your eye on positive things and make nice comments about them. For example, “You’re being very responsible by putting your jacket away”, “I saw that you helped your brother. Good job!”, or “You’ve done very well on your schoolwork, and I’m very proud of you!”

· Don’t Be Sarcastic About Praise

A lot of parents make the mistake of being sarcastic when their child finally displays the desired behavior. This is especially true for older children and teenagers. When you do this, you’re telling your child that whether they do what you want or not, they’ll get a bitter remark for it, making the situation hopeless. For example, don’t say “Oh, look who finally decided to leave their room and say hello to their aunt. You’d think I never taught you manners!”. Instead, say “I’m so glad you came out to say hello to your aunt! Thanks for joining us!”. Later, you can praise them in private: “I know it was difficult for you to come out and say hi to your aunt. I’m really proud of you for doing that and it was really good to have you around with us.”

· Ignore Mild Misbehavior

As previously stated, kids misbehave for attention. They don’t care if the attention is positive and negative, especially if they’re younger. So when a child does small acts of rebellion, like whining and complaining loudly, poking at furniture, or making a fuss about not getting what they want, just look the other way. Your child will learn that if they want attention, they need to ask nicely or be polite.

· Praise Over Punishment

There are times when praise isn’t possible, but you still need to correct your child. In this time, don’t give your kid explosive reactions, simply gently teach them how to do things right. For example, don’t say “Stop picking the cup up like that! You’ll spill all the juice and it’ll go to waste and make a mess!”, as your child may just continue picking the cup up to get attention.

Instead, show them an alternative way. “See, this is how you can hold a cup safely. Put your hands here and be careful when it’s full. That’s how you can pick up the cup.” Then, ask them to demonstrate it for you. When they do it well, praise them: “Good job! You’re picking it up correctly! I knew you could do it!”.

Then, for a while in the future, when they pick the cup up well, point out that you notice: “I see you’re picking up your cup safely. Good job! I’m proud of you for learning.”

While you shouldn’t overdo the praise, you also should be focusing on praise over critique. Do note, of course, that studies show that too much praise can be bad for children – and anyone of any age! Praise as appropriate and don’t exaggerate.

Final Thoughts On Positive Ways To Teach Your Kids To Be Obedient Without Punishment

Science has shown that punishment is an ineffective way to teach obedience to children. By adopting new methods for discipline, you can help your kids grow in a more positive way while retaining their respect towards you.

11 Ways to Deal With Problems That Are Out of Your Control

October 14, 2021 by Chris Butler

In life, there are many things out of your control. Some things are easy to deal with, like a flat tire or your child forgetting their lunch. But there are those out-of-control situations in life that loom so large they overwhelm you. These situations may last for months or even years, such as losing a job or an unexpected pandemic. How do you cope with the stress of these out-of-control situations?

Eleven Ways to Deal With Problems That Are Out of Your Control

Here are some suggestions that, although they won’t change your circumstances, can help you deal in a positive way with your out-of-control problems.

1 – You are not powerless to bounce back when things feel out of your control

Life can be overwhelming at times, making you feel like you want to throw up your hands and give up. You may feel like the victim of your circumstances, but remember, you are never powerless. There is always something within your power and control. It may be the most minor thing, but it’s still something you can do. Being a victim is often a feeling you have when you don’t acknowledge your vulnerability or fear. It’s easier to feel sorry for yourself and give up.

Although you can’t change your circumstances, you have choices you can make amid the circumstance, such as the choice to do the following things:

Taking the next step
Influencing people for good
Getting help from others
Releasing bitterness and anger
Learning new things from others
The option to focus on the here and now

2 – Journal

Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal gives you a positive outlet for your emotions. When you’re in a stressful situation, you may be tempted to run to others for help. Although this isn’t a bad thing, talking with others may not be the first thing you should do. It’s essential that you understand what you’re feeling, and writing down your thoughts can help you sort out your feelings. If something happened at work, you might need to write down what happened to understand the situation. Writing gives you clarity on details and helps you decide your next move.

Another benefit of journaling is that it reduces your stress level. Studies found that journaling has a positive effect on your emotional well-being because it reduces anxiety.

3 – Pray

Prayer is an active response to those things out of your control. Most people would say that prayer is talking to God. There are many historical examples of people praying for strength, guidance, or help in times of great need. For example, Abraham Lincoln prayed for the end of the Civil War, and John F. Kennedy prayed for that God would,

…guide and sustain us in the great unfinished tasks of achieving peace, justice, and understanding among all men and nations and of ending misery and suffering wherever they exist.

Prayer is a powerful tool to get help outside yourself when you’re in the midst of difficulty.

4 – Change your focus

It’s easy to let the out of your control situation take your focus off everything else in your life. Perhaps you have a problem at school that is stealing all your time, energy, and joy. That one situation looms more prominent in your heart and mind. Even though the situation is out of your control, you can choose to stop focusing on it 24/7. Try to focus on what’s going on right now in your life instead of problems. Sometimes when you free your mind of the problem, a solution will present itself.

5 – Be present

There may be things in your past you may not be able to change. Perhaps you had an abusive childhood, or you lost your parents at a young age. These are hurtful, life-altering situations that can have an impact on your life—being more aware of the present rather than your past helps you deal with your anxieties. If you constantly refer to your past as a reference for today, it allows those old situations to control you. Try to make choices based on the present rather than on your past. This will help you feel calmer and more at peace with your life and your future. It will also keep your focus on what’s in front of you rather than what’s behind you.

6 – Figure out your fear

Fear is a bully. It always tells you the worst-case scenario. When you’re dealing with problems that are out of your control, fear will be right there telling you how bad things are going to get. It’s important to step back and address your fears. Ask yourself these questions to better understand your fears in this situation.

What is my biggest fear when it comes to my job? My family? My life?
What do I fear regarding my health?
Am I worried about losing my money?
Am I worried about being alone?
Do I worry about what people will say or think about me? Why?

Acknowledging your fears won’t change your circumstances, but it will give you a better perspective on the reality of the situation. It will also take away the power that fear has over you.

7 – Healthy lifestyle

When you’re dealing with an out-of-control situation, it’s essential to stay healthy. It may be tempting to grab fast food instead of cooking dinner, but the fact is, when you’re under stress, a healthy lifestyle can help you with your anxiety. Getting exercise, choosing nutritious foods, and getting enough sleep all affect your ability to deal with problems.

Eating specific foods when you’re dealing with issues can help you fight anxiety and stress. Try to incorporate these into your meals and snacks during the day. Foods that help reduce stress include the following:

Nuts and seeds
Fatty fish
Dark chocolate
Yogurt
Spices such as ginger or cayenne pepper, or turmeric
Eggs
Sweet potatoes
Avocadoes
Chamomile tea
Lemon balm tea
Green teas

Besides eating these foods, try to take a daily walk to get your blood flowing. This helps not only your body but also your mind. Try to get adequate sleep every night. If you can’t sleep, try a natural remedy before bed like melatonin or a calcium and magnesium supplement.

8 – Talk to someone

Having a trusted friend or counselor to talk with is a helpful way to manage the stress and strain of your problems. When you speak with others about your issues, it removes their weightiness from your heart and mind. As you step out and get help from others, the issues have less control over you. Even though talking with a friend or counselor won’t change your circumstances, their support will help you cope better.

9 – Laugh when things feel out of your control

Your situation may be no laughing matter, but at some point, it can be helpful to laugh at the ridiculousness of your situation. Making light of a difficult situation can help you maintain perspective on the problem. It keeps the situation from becoming too overwhelming for your heart and mind. An ancient proverb says,

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17.22)

The stress of an uncontrollable situation impacts your body. It’s easy to internalize and stress over problems, but try to find a bit of humor when you can.

10 – Relaxation

Find ways to relax your body and mind to cope with the stress of what you’re going through. This could be taking a yoga class or going for a daily walk. Play classical music during the day, or listen to an uplifting podcast. These are positive, active ways to reduce the stress of uncontrollable situations.

11 – Acceptance

Although you don’t like the out-of-control situation you are in, at some point, acceptance may be the best way to cope. This isn’t “giving up,” but rather, learning to recognize this is your new usual way of life. This changes your perspective and allows you to:

Worry less
Feel less drained emotionally
Make positive changes where you can
Feel grateful for where you are
Have compassion for others in similar situations

Final Thoughts on Coping With Things Out of Your Control

Everyone experiences some out-of-control problem in life. Some of these situations need a simple fix, but other problems last for months or even years. These can be heart-wrenchingly difficult. There are many things you can do to cope, but hopefully, these suggestions will bring you the ability to deal with these problems and reduce your stress.

3 Ways Anxiety Makes You Overwork (And How to Fix It)

October 14, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you ever get home after a long day and wonder how on Earth you managed to work over twelve hours again? Do you try to mask your anxiety and insecurities because you overwork? Are you overly stressed and on the brink of burnout?

Back in the 1970s, people would work on average about forty hours a week. Now, those rates have skyrocketed. It is not unusual for people to work fifty to sixty hours a week. For some, the workweek can have up to 90 hours. There are many reasons why this increase happened, but stress and anxiety have been detrimental. If you are struggling, and you tend to resort to overworking to an unhealthy degree, here’s how to fix that.

Why Do Some People Tend to Overwork?

Many people tend to think of overworking as just working hard and being determined. But that’s not only wrong, but it’s a dangerous perception. Overworking is defined as working too hard, too long, or to the point of exhaustion.

Overworking is often associated with workaholism, which is the uncontrollable need to work incessantly. Workaholism and overwork are not just behaviors. They are mentalities. They affect you at all times, not just while at work.

Sure, you can work long hours, but you will eventually go home and disconnect. A workaholic will never disconnect, not even when at home. They will sacrifice anything to satisfy the need to work. They will go back on promises, jeopardize family time, get less sleep, whatever they can do to work more and more.

Overworking is such a severe problem that people are dying because of it. Authors from WHO and ILO found that three-quarters of a million people die from heart disease due to workaholism. More people die from overwork than from malaria. This fact should give you a general idea of how bad this crisis is becoming. Another study explains that overwork is the single most significant risk factor for occupational disease. In Asian countries, this issue is so pressing that they have specific words for “death due to overwork.”

The most prominent health risks are heart-related. Not sleeping enough, forgetting to eat and drink, exhaustion all strain the heart. Heart issues can even lead to heart attacks in extreme cases.

And that’s not the only issue. Workaholics can often experience burnout. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. It occurs when you are unable to meet particular demands. When workaholics feel like they didn’t meet specific quotas, they will feel intense burnout. This cycle reduces productivity and makes you feel cynical, hopeless, and resentful. It can spill into all areas of your life, from work life to family life. In some cases, it can even affect your immunity and make you susceptible to illnesses.

Anxiety is a significant cause of overworking for a variety of reasons. People generally describe it as a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear. It can be mild or severe, and everyone feels anxiety at specific points in life.

3 Ways Anxiety Makes You Overwork (And How to Fix It)

If you struggle with stress and anxiety, here’s how to avoid becoming a workaholic while dealing with your feelings.

1. Anxiety Doesn’t Let You Disconnect, So You Overwork

Anxiety is a pain to deal with because it always keeps you plugged in. The never-ending thoughts that swirl through your brain if you’re anxious will not let you catch your breath.

People who deal with enormous amounts of stress tend to always think about their problems. The ones who don’t deal with anxiety can shove their issues in the back of their minds. Take a break for a while. But anxious people can’t do that. They can’t enjoy a lovely day with the family because their brain will always bug them. Specific tasks you have to deal with at work will always bother you. And they can’t ignore those thoughts. Instead, what they do is work and work to deal with everything they have to deal with. Unfortunately, the more you work, the more issues will arise. And you will have to deal with those issues too. This creates a never-ending cycle that you can’t escape. That’s why anxious people will tend to overwork.

As Dr. John Delony explains, people can become addicted to stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. So anxious people can feel a need to put themselves in stressful situations. They may feel the need to feel constantly pressured and be overworked. And that’s a big issue. So, if you’ve fallen into that trap, how can you fix it?

The first step to getting yourself out of a workaholic mindset is to force yourself to disconnect. Let the people around you know what you are struggling with so that they can help you. Try to create a timetable that you have to stick to. For example, set a maximum of eight hours of work per day. If you still aren’t home after eight hours, have your friends and family call you and remind you to come back. Have set time for relaxation. For example, have two hours a day dedicated to family time. Have an hour reserved for a hobby, and so on.

And, most importantly, cut ties with work once you are home. Don’t look at work e-mails, don’t go into your home office. Also, work on what’s going on inside your head. If you have work issues, try delegating them to colleagues rather than going to the office yourself. Avoid taking on extra tasks as long as possible. And if your thoughts are still bugging you, talk to someone. Talk to friends and family, or if things are terrible, try a psychologist or therapist.

As long as you are aware of how your anxiety affects you, you will be on the right path towards fixing those issues.

2. Anxiety Creates Frustration And Fear

Anxious people feel a looming fear about certain things in life. Especially when those situations are pressing matters like work is. Anxiety is a pain because it makes people overthink issues and imagine the worst. The darker the scenarios you create are, the worse everything will be. And that’s not your fault. It’s not like you want to think that the worst will happen, but anxiety induces that thought process.

Anxiety makes you feel afraid and frustrated. You tend always to be stressed out about everything; thus, you expect the worst to happen. When dealing with a lot of work, especially more demanding tasks, you will feel fear. That happens to everyone. But anxiety multiplies that fear by a lot. For that reason, anxious people will overwork in an attempt to make that fear go away. The more you work, the better you will do your tasks, lowering the risk of failing. Right? Well, not really. Overworking, as we’ve discussed, will lead to burnout. Thus, the risk of failure might increase. The more things you do, the more chances there are for you to forget, especially when you’re exhausted. So, instead of alleviating your fears, you might end up exacerbating them.

Along with that, anxious people tend to be more frustrated when something fails. When your plans don’t play out the way you want them to, you feel out of control. You get mad at yourself, and ultimately frustration takes over. Again, in the attempt to get rid of that frustration, you will overwork. You will do whatever it takes to fix those failures. No matter how long those tasks will take you, you will force yourself to do them. Again, you will fall into that same vicious cycle where you work too much. You mess something up, and you work even more, and so on. That’s how you become a workaholic.

The best way to deal with this is to force yourself to cut back on your workload. The less you do, the less fear and frustration you will feel. Thus, there will be fewer chances to fall into that cycle. If you’re already in that cycle, you have to face your fears head-on. Understand why you’re afraid and deal with the root cause. Also, understand that failure is not going to break you. You will recover. Again, have friends and family help you monitor how much you work.

3. Anxiety Leads To Perfectionism, Causing You To Overwork

Contrary to popular belief, perfectionism isn’t just striving to do everything right. According to writer Melissa Dahl, perfectionism is a reflection of your inner self mirrored in anxiety.

Perfectionism is often tied to your job. No matter what you do, if you’re a perfectionist, it will affect how you view work. It will push you towards feeling the need to overwork. There’s always more that can be done if you are a perfectionist. No amount of work will ever be enough to satisfy you. You will need more and more, and before you know it, you will become a workaholic.

Dealing with this is tied to learning to be aware of your behaviors. Reflect on how your brain works, understand how you act and why you act that way. The more knowledgeable you become, the more you will start seeing the toxic things you might do. You will start noticing that you’ve worked overtime again, and you will be able to force yourself to go home. The best thing to do is to understand that you need to take on fewer tasks. Otherwise, you won’t do them as well as you would want to.

Lastly, work on the root causes of your anxiety. Go to counseling if needed. The better you deal with the cause of overworking, the better you will deal with the overworking itself.

Final Thoughts On Ways Anxiety Makes You Overwork (And How to Fix It)

More and more people nowadays struggle with anxiety. That, coupled with work becoming more and more demanding, leads to overworking.

Anxiety doesn’t let you disconnect and relax. It makes you frustrated and afraid, creating perfectionists. For all those reasons, people become workaholics. To deal with that, you have to become aware of your behaviors and force yourself into better practices.

Try consciously working less and schedule a time to relax and reflect. Let the people in your life know what they are going through so that they can help you. And, if your efforts don’t do much, try consulting a therapist. Fix the issue from the root. In time, you will be able to escape those negative feelings and have an everyday life!

10 Signs A Friendship Is Turning Into Love

October 14, 2021 by Chris Butler

Do you have a friendship turning into love? It seems effortless to fall for someone when you have a relationship with them. Friends get to know the deepest parts of you, and they love you despite all your shortcomings.

There’s a line that separates friends from lovers, and once you cross this proverbial line, things will never be the same. How do you know if your association is becoming something more serious? How often have you said: “We are just friends” when someone inquired about your relationship?

Are you defending the friendship status when sometimes you question it yourself? You’re not the only person that’s ever been in this position. People will often have a friendship for years, and one day it all changes.

You’re not sure how things evolved to where they are today, but you know that your feelings are deep and undeniable. You don’t want to let a potentially good thing slip away, as true love doesn’t come around that often. What if you miss out on the person that completes you and is your soul mate?

Ten Undeniable Signs Your Friendship Is Turning Into Love

Has your friend been hinting to you that they want to be more than friends? Perhaps you have feelings that you don’t understand but cannot control. There are some clear signs that friendship is turning into love, but you need to be on the lookout for them. Here are ten ways that you’re ready to take things to the next level.

1. You Call Each Other by Pet Names if Friendship Is Turning Into Love

One clear indication that one of you wants something more is to develop cute little pet names. Using terms of endearment like baby, sweetie, honey, and things of this nature signifies that your affection is subtly coming out. People often don’t know how to make the first move when transitioning their relationship.

The best way to test the waters is to use cute little names and see if the other party responds. Try coming up with a name for them in return to see if it helps break the ice.

2. You’ve Started Flirting With One Another

Harmless flirting can happen even among friends, but it can indicate that things have taken a turn and become a bit more personal. Some folks consider this typical banter, but the flirting might become more intense when friends turn into lovers. You will understand that flirting is often the key that turns the lock to becoming more than friends.

Don’t be so eager to brush off advances that tell you how handsome or beautiful you are tonight. Additionally, don’t think them commenting on your new haircut or outfit is just part of friendship too. While complimenting your friend is nice, you can always tell when there’s a bit more behind those statements than just trying to lift your spirits.

3. The Body Language Is Intense When You Have Friendship Turning Into Love

Body language is one of the most indicative things that you’re a potential couple in the making. According to Science of People, many studies reveal how people react when they’re with someone they’re smitten by. Some of the things observed are:

Fidgeting – rearrange clothes, playing with change in a pocket, or fluffing hair
Pointing toes towards the person they’re interested in
Getting closer
Trying to touch you accidentally
Dilated pupils
Staring at you
Mirroring your actions like legs and arms crossing
Biting bottom lip

4. You’ve Twinges of Jealousy

Of all the signs, the most indicative of your feelings is jealousy. Did you know it’s normal and healthy to have a little bit of jealousy towards the person you love? When you show that you’re jealous, you message that you love this person and how special they are to you.

You don’t want anyone else coming in and stepping on your territory. You might notice they quickly come to your side when someone starts flirting with you. They may seem more interested in who you’re dating and why you’re not at home often. However, you must also understand that there’s unhealthy jealousy too.

A recent article from the National Library of Medicine explains that pathological jealousy contributes to domestic violence. The obsessive and delusional forms are not beneficial to either of you. You need to ensure that the jealousy they feel is more about not wanting to lose you before they tell you how they feel. You certainly don’t need someone to become possessive over you.

5. You Feel a Strong Physical Attraction

You can’t help it anymore; you’re feeling physical things you don’t understand for them. Your heart races when they’re around. Your mind constantly wonders what it would be like to have a physical relationship.

It’s not uncommon to have romantic dreams. If you’re daydreaming about kissing, hugging, or cuddling with them, you’re deep. Friendship turning into love happens to the best of folks, and you’re falling fast.

6. You Only See Them When You’re in a Group

Most folks meet one another when they hang out in groups. However, have you noticed that the last few times the group got together, it was just you and your “friend” in the room? There can be 100 people around you, but you two seem to have strong interaction that makes everyone else disappear.

Have any of the other folks in the group told you they feel like a third wheel? Finding yourself connected even though you’re with other people is a tell-tale sign that your feelings are evolving.

7. Friends Notice the Undeniable Connection

Why can your friends notice the relationship changing and becoming more serious than you? The view is different when you’re on the outside looking in, so they probably see things you didn’t even notice revealing you becoming more serious.

Don’t be so eager to dismiss your friends’ opinions, as many of them know you better than you know yourself. If they start questioning things and seeing that it’s getting intense between you two, you might want to listen to them.

8. You Talk About Them 24/7

Has anyone ever told you that you mention their name too much? Perhaps they’re the only thing you can think about. You can’t stop daydreaming about what you’re doing or the next time you will hang out together. It seems the love bug might have bitten you, and your friendship is turning into love whether you care to admit it or not.

9. Friendship Turning Into Love Means You Put Them First

You probably have many friends, but you prioritize them on a proverbial list by order of importance. For instance, your best friend is the one you drop everything for when they need help. However, you have other friends that are more acquaintances than anything.

The exciting thing is that this person has moved up on the list, and you’re not sure why or how it happened. They’ve become your top priority; even if they call at 3 am, you ensure you answer. You cancel plans with other people to have a few more moments with them.

10. You Can’t Get Enough of Your Time Together

Love is beautiful, and when your daily dose of interaction with one another isn’t enough, you know you’ve fallen deep. Do you find that you connect via text, call, email, and messaging on social media many times throughout the day? You can’t get enough of one another when friendship turns into love.

If you’re hopelessly smitten, you will see that the time you spend together will increase. When you’re not together physically, you find a way to be connected somehow, even if it’s virtually.

Final Thoughts on Friendship Turning Into Love

For any relationship to work, you must be friends first. Love can’t be all about romance, or there won’t be any natural substance to your connection. You want someone whose heart skips a beat when you walk by, or they get beads of sweat on their upper lip because you do things they can’t explain.

Some people become friends and stay that way for years, but one day, things suddenly change. They see you through different lenses, showing them that you’re special. It’s often the case that they don’t know how to tell you how they feel.

It’s scary to consider that there’s no turning back once you cross the line from friendship to love. True, things will never be the same, but the connection between the two of you can be greater than you ever imagined. Don’t be afraid to step toward them if it feels right.

You could be missing out on one of the most extraordinary things in your life if you let them go. Rest assured, someone else will swoop in if they’re a good catch, and you will be left with a lifetime of wondering what might have been. Is your friendship turning into love? It’s time to act now, and don’t torture yourself any further.

New App Makes It Easier For Consumers To Buy Sustainable Products

October 14, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

An innovative new Chrome browser extension called Finch helps customers find sustainable products more easily. The extension uses machine learning to sort products on Amazon based upon their sustainability.

This not only gives consumers more control over their shopping experience but takes away any uncertainty about product quality. Products must meet rigorous standards, and the team bases all of its rankings on extensive scientific research and datasets.

How Finch makes us kinder to the environment

Learn twelve behaviors you can adopt to increase sustainability in your household.

Finch founder Lizzie Horvitz explains that the extension ranks the top 41 product categories on Amazon. This includes tens of thousands of different products, such as mattresses, shampoo, toothpaste, and even toilet paper. For each category, the team performs detailed research on the environmental challenges each product faces.

Using paper towels as an example, the team studies industry-specific reports on how paper towel manufacturing causes deforestation and runoff from paper mills. They also utilize research from other groups that study the environmental impacts of various companies. One such group is CDP, a nonprofit that asks companies to divulge climate risks involved in their operations.

Then, they rank 10 or 20 products in the category using information from the reports. Lastly, the team inputs the data into a machine learning tool. The AI takes product details for all other products in the category on Amazon and gives them an automatic rating.

Horvitz says that supply chains often don’t disclose as much information to the public as they should. However, she says that there’s enough data out there to help consumers choose more eco-friendly products. Unfortunately, many consumers get sucked into greenwashing scams because they don’t have the time to do proper research. Well-intentioned customers often fall victim to these companies misleading claims, but this is where Finch comes in.

They consolidate the vast amount of data available on sustainable products, making things more transparent for consumers.

How Lizzie’s passion for raising awareness about climate change led to Finch

Lizzie got the idea for Finch while working on the sustainability team at Unilever, the multinational consumer goods company. She’s always been a climate activist. But she wanted to do more to help the planet. As friends and family started asking her products, she realized that the public needed access to the right information. People can’t make informed decisions about sustainable products without having done proper research.

However, Lizzie knew that sifting through thousands of academic papers wasn’t feasible for the average person. Not only is the scientific jargon difficult to digest, but it also takes time that most people don’t have.

It’s not just the lack of research that affects consumers, however. Many bloggers and influencers in the sustainable and eco-friendly space promote products that don’t pass the “Finch test.” While these bloggers mean well, they often make claims about sustainable products without the science to back them up. Along with the mountains of data that most consumers overlook, shopping for eco-friendly products is more confusing.

Sustainability made easier

With this in mind, Lizzie wanted to make shopping for sustainable products much easier for the average consumer. She knew most people want to make better choices but don’t know where to start. So, using her experience with corporate sustainability and passion for research, she launched Finch.

Basically, the mission of Finch is to help people better understand how their everyday decisions can impact climate change. While Lizzie notes on the website that any form of consumerism won’t solve the problem, choosing sustainable products can still make a difference.

Given a choice between an eco-friendly product and an antigreen one, it’s always better to pick the former. Finch gives control back to consumers by adding transparency to the shopping experience. They’ll better understand the products they’re buying and how they impact the planet, from manufacturing to delivery.

The basics of how Finch works, and installation instructions

Once you install Finch in your browser, you’ll see a rating whenever you click a product. Lizzie says nothing scores a perfect 10. However, products with a 6.5 and above already have a small carbon footprint.

“If it’s physical and out there, it’s probably having some negative impact on the environment. So what’s important to us is to show where it falls, given the relationship to the other products out there,” she tells Fast Company in an interview.

When you’re using the extension, keep in mind that there’s not always a clear-cut answer on a product’s impact. For example, reusable cloths may produce more greenhouse gases than paper towels in some cases. If the consumer washes the cloths in an old washing machine and does small loads, paper towels would have less impact. The founder discusses these types of scenarios on the website’s blog to help consumers make the best choice.

On the website, you’ll also find “wise guides” that give pointers on common products. They include consumer goods like tampons, pillows, mattresses, deodorants, and more. The team also provides extensive details on their rating process if you’d like more information.

If you’re wondering, the team is composed of various well-qualified full and part-time members and advisors.

According to the site:

“From international environmental lawyers to data scientists and machine learning experts from the heart of Silicon Valley, to PhDs in material science and global warming, to veterans of the consumer goods industry, we’re putting products through the wringer to help you find the best of the best.”

While the startup continues to fine-tune their tools, they only work with a select group of consumers. There’s currently a waitlist to download Finch. You can also make the most of the free resources on the site to learn more about sustainable products

Although Finch only ranks a handful of product categories on Amazon, it plans to rate all of them eventually. The company has even more ambitious plans, such as expanding to other large retail sites and eventually “any e-commerce site out there.”

Final thoughts about the browser extension that helps customers find sustainable products

Finch, a new browser extension that ranks sustainable products, helps customers make more informed choices. The tool sifts through thousands of items, using machine learning and industry reports to give product rankings. The company ranks a limited number of items currently but will soon expand to all categories on Amazon. Since Amazon is the most popular e-commerce site, this tool will make a huge difference in how consumers shop.

Kindhearted Woman Helps a Homeless Veteran Return Home

October 13, 2021 by Kristen Lawrence

When a young woman witnessed a homeless veteran collapsing in the street, she immediately sprung into action. While walking to dinner in Hollywood, Dana Lee Calabrese saw the man collapse right before her. She, her cousin Jackie, and two onlookers called 911 right away.

However, when paramedics arrived, they didn’t seem too concerned. Dana asked the EMT crew what would happen to the man’s belongings and if they would take them. She said their response sent chills down her spine.

They said, “No, are you? A million more dominoes fall a day around here.”

Shocked and upset at their lack of compassion, Dana asked them to give the man her number. That way, he could collect his belongings when he returned. Like most homeless individuals, the man only had a shopping cart full of a few essentials. It wasn’t much, but Dana knew that was all he had.

So, she walked the cart all the way home after ensuring the paramedics had given the man her contact information. The sign on his cart identified the man as a U.S. Marine Corps veteran named Douglas Dean Hall. The man, now in his fifties, lost his leg during combat and had a prosthetic limb.

After meeting him, Dana couldn’t believe the EMTs had treated the disabled vet so disrespectfully. She understood they had a tough job and probably dealt with homeless people every day. However, that was no excuse to mistreat this poor man.

He’d been through a lot in life and just needed a helping hand. Dana felt grateful to have crossed his path at just the right time. She hoped to hear from him, but days went by with only radio silence. So, she took to Facebook in an attempt to track him down.

The kindhearted woman helped the homeless veteran return home

Weeks after she’d made the post asking for help finding him, she finally saw a glimmer of hope. One person said they saw him recently and gave her a location. Now, she could return the veteran’s belongings and reconnect with him. She, her husband, and a neighbor immediately headed out to find the veteran.

Dana had stored his cart in the garage of her condo building to keep it safe. When he saw Dana pulling up with the cart, he looked excited but also confused. Perhaps he didn’t actually believe anyone would safeguard his belongings, but Dana surprised him. He cried several times and screamed ‘God is good!’ at the top of his lungs.

It was an emotional moment for them both. Douglas kissed the top of Dana’s head and kept calling her an angel. She’d already done so much for him, but she wasn’t finished just yet.

She’d also made a GoFundMe page asking for donations on his behalf.

The message on the page said:

“He would like more than anything to get to New York, and he wants to take the train. Please help me make that happen! Let’s show him some appreciation by getting him where he needs to go!

The train ranges in price from $300-$450 for a value ticket via Amtrak from Union Station to Penn Station. (This varies based on the date and time, if it costs less the remainder will go to the transition fund)

I would like to add a little extra for food and anything else he may need while making the transition to New York City. (prepaid visa card)

(also take into consideration the percentage that Go Fund Me takes)

Please share this and contribute in any way possible! This small act of kindness means so much to me, and I know it will mean the world to him! He is not just another domino, he is a person.

Thank you to everyone who has been sharing the FB post, and to Mayram for FINDING HIM! Go Team!

LETS DO THIS!

Dana :)”

Sometimes, life sends you an angel in disguise when you least expect it

On his sign, Douglas had written that he was trying to get to New York. It read: “I’m not asking for a handout – just a hand up. Anything would help. Thank you!”

Dana felt determined to make his wish come true. She’d talked with Douglas briefly several times before, and he seemed like a great guy. Dana knew he’d had many struggles in life, yet he maintained a positive outlook. Knowing he had fallen on hard times, Dana wanted to help her new friend however she could.

The veteran said he had good friends and family in New York and that he really missed home. Dana had only asked for money for an Amtrak train ticket and a little extra for food in the fundraiser. However, she received much more than she expected. In total, the fundraiser brought in just over $4,000!

In the first 24 hours alone, Dana’s friends and even strangers donated $1,300. That was more than enough to cover the cost of a train ticket, food, and other essentials. She was overjoyed to tell Douglas the good news.

She said she would most likely put the money on a Visa gift card before meeting with him again. She also wanted to throw him a casual surprise party. Dana wanted to have it at an outdoor patio bar near where he’d collapsed to celebrate the positive turn of events. There, she’d present him with the gift card that he could use to fund his travels.

Final thoughts on the kindhearted woman who helped a homeless veteran return home

Not everyone will go out of their way to help a stranger. However, when Dana’s veteran friend passed out in front of her, she leaped into action. After paramedics told her they wouldn’t hold onto his belongings, she decided to keep them. She tracked him down after he got released from the hospital to return his cart.

He was overwhelmed with gratitude and cried tears of joy when he saw her again. He couldn’t believe someone would help him so much. Dana even created a fundraiser to help him get home to family and friends. What a kindhearted woman and a beautiful story that reminds us of humanity’s greatness.

William Shatner Becomes Oldest Person Ever to Travel Into Space

October 13, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

William Shatner, who famously portrayed Captain James T. Kirk on the television series Star Trek from 1966 to 1969, blasted into space in real life. Shatner was one of four astronauts aboard the New Shephard, the flagship of the Blue Origins fleet.

Blue Origins (and Amazon) owner Jeff Bezos invited Shatner as his special guest on the flight. Also aboard were Dr. Chris Boshuizen, Glen de Vries, and Blue Origins Vice President Audrey Powers.

In an interview with CNN last week, Shatner mused to host Anderson Cooper, “What will I see when I’m out there?” After playing a space commander on the popular tv show, which still enjoys a cult following, Shatner became fascinated and longed to experience it firsthand. At the age of 90, Shatner realized this long-held dream–and became the eldest person to blast off into outer space.

“They used to say that if man was meant to fly, he’d have wings. But he did fly. He discovered he had to.” – Captain James T Kirk.

And so today, Captain Kirk boldly went where…well…just a handful of people have gone.

We captured images along every step of this fantastic journey.

About the New Shepard

Blue Origins name the New Shepard after the legendary American astronaut Alan Shepard. Shepard joined the Mercury mission, making him the first American to make it to space. It’s not a surprise that the company named this space vehicle after this trailblazer.

Engineers designed the capsule to hold a crew of up to six people on each mission. Besides being roomy, they also designed large windows to let passengers enjoy the majestic views.

In addition, they designed it with wedge fins to power it for vertical take-off and landings, making it reusable with routine maintenance from one trip to the next. Besides the wedge fins along the bottom, the aft fins offer stability for a smoother takeoff and help steer the craft as it lands.

The New Shepard’s engine achieves up to Mach 4, which can throttle down to only five miles per hour as the landing gear engages. Until now, rockets were not reusable, but these technologies changed that!

William Shatner and His Epic Journey on the Blue Origins New Shepard

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by William Shatner (@williamshatner)

William Shatner attended training and briefings before he traveled to space. He recently posed with the other astronauts who joined him on the New Shephard flight.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by CNET (@cnet)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blue Origin (@blueorigin)

Next up, this video shows the Blue Origins New Shepard waiting to launch from the flight deck in West Texas. The astronauts boarded and awaited as the clock counted down on this historic journey. The astronauts rode in the capsule at the top of the rocket.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blue Origin (@blueorigin)

Soon after, the astronauts entered the capsule and eagerly awaited the lift-off. After a short delay, the New Shepard lifted off in a fiery display at approximately 9:50 am (Texas/central time zone).

The ground crew and onlookers cheered as the New Shepard rose above them.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blue Origin (@blueorigin)

The New Shepard rose through the air towards the “Kármán Line,” which marked the boundary between the Earth’s atmosphere and space. The flight lasted about four minutes before they began returning to land on Earth.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blue Origin (@blueorigin)

The super cool thing about the New Shepard–it is a reusable rocket. Unlike older technologies that disintegrate upon re-entry into the atmosphere, the rocket separates and returns for a clean landing while the astronauts’ capsule continues its journey. The short video above shows the New Shepard touching back down on the landing pad.

Notice how exhaust smoke rose as the New Shepard’s rocket section set down. Meanwhile, the capsule became more clear to the cameras and the shuttle team who awaited below.

The west Texas desert provided a stunning backdrop as the parachutes opened, giving William Shatner and crew a safe, soft landing. As the capsule descended, Shatner quietly made this comment:

“That’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blue Origin (@blueorigin)

The capsule landed safely. But for several moments, the astronauts waited for the recovery crew to assist them in exiting the capsule. Then, the ground crew performed a quick wellness check, received a thumbs-up from all four astronauts, and released the parachute from the capsule.

The tech company billionaire and Blue Origins founder, Jeff Bezos, arrived at the landing site to welcome the astronauts back to Earth and congratulate them.

Bezos and Shatner shared a quick celebratory hug right outside of the capsule. But what did Shatner say as they embraced to celebrate the realization of his dream?

Shatner told Bezos this of his gift of sending him on this journey:

“What you have given me is the most profound experience I’ve ever had…extraordinary. Extraordinary.”

Bezos brought along the bubbly. Indeed, seeing Captain Kirk and the other astronauts return from a successful trip to space is a cause for celebration. Finally, Bezos pinned William Shatner with his official astronaut wings.

William Shatner Made History on the Blue Origins Flight, Becoming the Eldest Person in Space

According to the Blue Origins website, Jeff Bezos was fascinated with space travel and its unlimited possibilities. he envisioned a future where “millions of people live and work in space to benefit Earth. To preserve Earth, Blue Origin believes that humanity must expand, explore, find new energy and material resources, and move industries that stress Earth into space.”

By engineering reusable rockets, he is building the foundation of a company that will serve customers across all sectors. From space tourism and commercial use to defense contractors to scientific research, they plan to be able to serve one and all.

Going to space was the dream of a lifetime for William Shatner. Now, over fifty years after the conclusion of the Star Trek series, the man who played Captain Kirk achieved that goal.

20 Quotes to Read Whenever You’re Feeling Lonely

October 13, 2021 by Sarah Barkley

As humans, we want to be social and interact with others. Because of that, when you find yourself alone, you might start feeling lonely. When you think this way, reading quotes about loneliness can help you embrace your time alone.

These quotes will help you cope with feeling lonely and isolated. The words will help you appreciate being alone as you learn to embrace these moments in your life. Even when you’re alone, you’re still connected to everything else because you are part of the universe.

Loneliness comes from feeling a lack of connection to anything or anyone. You might feel like there is nothing positive in your life, and even being surrounded by people doesn’t help. If you can remember that you’re never truly alone because you always have yourself, you’ll stop feeling lonely.

Twenty Quotes to Read Whenever You’re Feeling Lonely

Loneliness is a feeling, and you can choose the way you want to feel. Rather than giving in to the feeling, embrace the chance to know yourself better. With the help of these quotes, you can learn to love being lonely, and you’ll find happiness and peace in solitude.

1. “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” – Maya Angelou

When you feel lonely, turn to music to find solace. As you listen to the music and allow your body to feel the beat, you’ll find that the loneliness eases. Choose whatever music brings you the most peace, and pay attention to the way it makes you feel.

2. “People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” – Kim Culbertson

Even surrounded by people, you can still be lonely. Without meaningful, fulfilling relationships, you’ll feel disconnected no matter how many people are present. If you experience this situation, consider finding new people to spend your time with.

Additionally, learn to enjoy time alone rather than wasting time with people who don’t bring meaning to your life. Spend that time getting to know yourself because if you love yourself, you’ll never feel lonely.

3. “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” – Wayne Dyer

You’ll be lonely anywhere if you don’t like the person that you’re with. Learn to enjoy yourself, and you’ll never experience loneliness. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you’ll have your own company.

4. “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” – Henry Rollins

As Rollins explains, loneliness can bring beauty to your life. You’ll look at things differently and learn to appreciate life in a new way. When you’re alone, you can embrace all the small things that you might overlook in the presence of others.

5. “The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.” – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

You can see beauty all around you when you walk alone. Embrace the solitude and learn to find a connection to the universe. A beautiful soul manifests from doing things on your own sometimes.

6. “I am stronger than depression, and I am braver than loneliness, and nothing will ever exhaust me.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

You can use this quote from Gilbert as an affirmation for overcoming loneliness. When you remember that you’re stronger than anything you’re feeling, you’ll feel empowered. You won’t feel bogged down by it, and you’ll learn to find peace in solitude.

7. “If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is… an opportunity to get to know you, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but you for your happiness… you will realize that a little loneliness goes a long way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful you.” – Mandy Hale

Teach yourself that loneliness is a gift, and you’ll learn to embrace it. You can use the time to get to know yourself better and to see your inner strength.

By embracing time alone, you’ll learn to depend on yourself for happiness. Plus, you’ll see that loneliness helps you find your best self and allows you to improve your skillset.

8. “Sometimes you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself.” – Anonymous

Being alone is essential if you want to be yourself. When you’re by yourself, you can get in touch with your inner-most thoughts and feelings. You can do all of the things you enjoy doing or relax and allow yourself to recuperate.

It doesn’t matter what you choose to do during your time alone. Just make sure it’s something that allows you to feel most connected to yourself.

9. “But your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it, you will find all your paths.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

If you can embrace it, then your solitude will be a way to support yourself. No matter what is going on around you, you can find familiarity within. When you’re this comfortable with yourself, you’ll always find a way to move forward and find comfort.

10. “To live a spiritual life, we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude.” – Henri J.M. Nouwen

You can’t be afraid of loneliness if you want to get in touch with your inner spirit. If you can embrace loneliness and find positive ways to overcome it, you’ll learn to love it. Along the way, you’ll learn and rediscover many things about yourself.

11. “A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” – Mandy Hale

When you’re feeling lonely, remember that this is a time of growth and independence. You’re learning to do things for yourself, and you’re turning into the beautiful person you should be.

If you can remember this quote the next time you feel lonely, you can change your mindset. Then, you’ll begin to look for and recognize the good things in your life as you develop into a better person.

12. “But many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” – Bell Hooks

If you’re spending time with people that don’t bring meaning to your life, then ask yourself why. Don’t spend time with people only to avoid loneliness. Learn to enjoy being alone, and then you can spend time with people by choice rather than as a way to escape.

13. “I had already found that it was not good to be alone, and so made companionship with what there was around me, sometimes with the universe and sometimes with my own insignificant self; but my books were always my friends, let fail all else.” – Joshua Slocum

You don’t have to be alone if you learn to enjoy your own company. Become one with the universe and work on finding yourself.

If you still struggle to overcome loneliness, turn to a book for comfort and company. You can never go wrong with a good book to take your mind off of your life problems.

14. “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

Even when you try to be yourself around others, you’re never entirely free from their influence. In subtle ways, you’re different than you would be if you were alone. Plus, it’s harder to see what you want and need in life when you’re always with other people.

Once you spend time alone, you begin to know yourself honestly. You’ll have a chance to let loose and embrace your individuality.

15. “If you are alone, you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion, you belong only half to yourself or even less in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct, and if you have more than one companion, you will fall more deeply into the same plight.” – Leonardo da Vinci

When you’re alone, you don’t have to worry about anyone else. You can do whatever you want or need without having to ask others or bring them along. Even when you spend your time with one other person, part of you is with them.

When part of you is with another person, your thoughts will be with them, too. You won’t see all of the beauty around you, and you won’t be able to think as thoughtfully. The more people you have in your presence, the more of you that gets taken away.

16. “We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore, starved for meditation and true friendship.” – C.S. Lewis

Even as you want socialization and companionship, you need some time for solitude. Spending time in private silence can make all the difference in your life. Only with silence and privacy can you meditate and find your way to true friendship.

17. “When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” – Fiona Apple

You must find relationships that involve trust if you want to ease your lonely feelings. Being alone is better than being surrounded by people that don’t make your life feel meaningful.

18. “Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.” – Robert Tew

Spending time alone can help you find yourself. You’ll learn to appreciate and love the things that make you who you are. This experience can only happen in solitude, so embrace that time alone and push away your negative thoughts.

19. “In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.” – Rollo May

When you’re in solitude, you can open yourself up to creativity. Your thoughts will improve, and you’ll find new ways to get things done. Plus, you can come up with your best ideas when alone if you can overcome feeling lonely.

20. “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” – Audrey Hepburn

Spending time alone can help you recharge and refuel. You’ll have more energy and will find that you can focus better, too.

Final Thoughts on Quotes to Read Whenever You’re Feeling Lonely

Being alone doesn’t have to lead to feeling lonely. You can avoid loneliness or overcome it by reading these quotes. Everyone has experienced loneliness at some point, so follow the advice of others.

These quotes to ready whenever you’re feeling lonely will remind you that you’re never truly alone. You’ll find that you can embrace life and love yourself more by learning to overcome loneliness.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!