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What It Means To Be Self-Compassionate And How To Do It Right

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Do you ever catch yourself criticizing your every move? Do you struggle catering to your own needs, even though you care about anyone else’s? Are you empathetic towards everyone on the planet but yourself? If these sound like you, perhaps you are not sufficiently self-compassionate.

Culture and society have evolved so that people learn to care about everyone but themselves. Instead of self-compassion, caring for your own needs used to be considered vanity and selfishness. In the last couple of decades, things have slowly started to change. But most adults still have the scars from being raised with the wrong ideas about self-care. If you don’t know how to implement self-compassion, don’t worry! You can always learn how to show yourself the same kindness you show others.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is a newer area of research. It is part of the positive psychology branch that encourages individual empowerment. The most prominent figure to study self-compassion is Dr. Kristin Neff.

According to her studies, having self-compassion is, in theory, just like having compassion the others. It comprises the same principles and mechanisms but is pointed inwards rather than outwards. It means being able to relate to yourself and to have a forgiving and accepting approach.

Self-compassion is similar to self-love, but it focuses on not beating yourself up when situations aren’t optimal. It is different from self-esteem in the sense that compassion does not tie back to feeling pride.

Dr. Neff has separated the concept of self-compassion into three branches:

self-compassionate·         Self-kindness

This branch is about showing kindness and understanding towards yourself. This is especially important when you fail at something or when you feel hurt. Rather than being critical, you have to acknowledge the negative aspects of self-judgment. Instead, be patient and calm.

·         Having Common Humanity

This stems from the principle of being part of something bigger. It means viewing individual experiences as part of the broader human experience. Rather than isolating yourself from others, you view yourself as part of a group.

·         Mindfulness Can Be Self-compassionate

This concept opposes avoidance, especially the avoidance of your thoughts and feelings. It means acknowledging your thoughts rather than purely reacting to them.

This breakdown seems pretty straightforward. You probably practice kindness and humanity every day. But the issue is that you don’t practice them on yourself. Most people have been wired to beat themselves up over every minor mistake. This stems from a perception that being self-critical will make you a better person. That harshness will motivate you to overcome your condition. This couldn’t be further from the truth, though.

Just as you wouldn’t yell at a child who fell and scraped their knee, you shouldn’t punish yourself for being imperfect. People need to be motivated by positive factors, not by fear. Self-compassion will help you change from the inside. It will allow you to reach higher mental well-being, which will help you overcome the hurdles in your path.

Self-compassion correlates with less anxiety, shame, and fear of failure. According to Dr. Ravi Shah, it’s critical for healthy self-esteem and resilience. It also makes you less susceptible to abuse. If you’re kind to yourself, you will not accept toxic behaviors from others.

3 Ways To Be More Self-Compassionate

So, if self-compassion is desirable, how can you learn to practice it?

1.    Practice Forgiveness To Become Self-Compassionate

People often feel like the only way to take responsibility for their actions is to punish themselves if they fail. What this principle doesn’t take into account is that human nature is imperfect and susceptible to failure. Moreover, accountability doesn’t mean punishing yourself for the past but rather working towards becoming better in the future.

If you’ve failed, punishment will solve nothing. It will only hurt you. Instead, forgiveness will allow you to move on. You have to let yourself be imperfect, to make mistakes. You have to accept the fact that, sometimes, you will be unproductive, that you will have days where you just lay on the couch watching TV. And that’s ok.

Forcing yourself to be as close to perfection as possible will lead to burnout. It will stress you out, overburden you, and make you underperform. But allowing yourself a break from time to time will balance things out. Taking a day off to focus on your mental well-being will make you feel more energized and ready to take on the world. Acknowledge that you need to do things in your way and at your own pace.

The only way to achieve this is to consciously remind yourself you forgive your mistakes until you’ve created a reflex. You have to work towards shifting your behavior proactively. Make a mental note to stop using derogatory terms when referring to yourself. Stop insulting yourself for the smallest of mistakes. Change your language and try more positive ways to address yourself.

Psychotherapist Kristen Martinez uses the metaphor of a “permission slip.” The idea behind it is that you permit yourself to make mistakes. If you feel like you want to get angry with yourself because of a failure, remember that you gave yourself a permission slip. And you can’t be mean to someone with permission, right?

self-compassionate2.    Have A Growth Mindset

Not being self-compassionate is especially damaging because it doesn’t allow you to strive towards growth. Being judgmental will only tear you down and stress you out unnecessarily. If you want to make sure you avoid failure, you should concentrate on growing. This will allow self-compassion, and it will make your life better overall.

The first step in achieving growth is learning to set reasonable goals and targets. Also, remember to break down tasks and goals into smaller steps. That way, you will be able to take smaller steps and have a concrete plan. Understand that you can grow only when moving on from failures and pushing onwards. If you get stuck in place because your judgment demotivates you, you will get nowhere. You will only lose time if you dwell on the past. Always focus on the future. If you fail, ask yourself what you can do to make things better from thereon.

Besides the pragmatic aspects, learn to practice self-kindness. Recognize that everyone is imperfect. When you fail, your first instinct might be to think, “I shouldn’t struggle. Everyone else is so happy, and I’m here hitting walls!”. But that’s not the case. Everyone has made mistakes in life. The sooner you acknowledge that, the sooner you will understand that you deserve just as much kindness as others do. With self-kindness, you will think, “everyone sometimes struggles, so it’s fine if I do too.”

To allow growth, remember you are not alone. You are dealing with normal human experiences that everyone encounters at some point. The people who have their life together are the ones who have learned that the possibility of growth is worth more than a punishment. They are the ones who practice self-compassionate behaviors, so try to emulate that in your daily life.

3.    Be Mindful To Become More Self-Compassionate

Being mindful is all about looking inward and accepting who you are. It’s about being in touch with your feelings and accepting them rather than being reactionary.

People tend to be compassionate towards others because they empathize with them. That’s because they understand how others feel and how they’re hurting. If that’s the trick to being compassionate towards others, why not do that towards yourself? Get in tune with your feelings and try to empathize with them.

The best way to do that is by letting your mind wander. Take some time to think. Reflect on your day. How did certain moments make you feel? How do you think about the goals you have in place? If you feel like you can’t relax enough to let your thoughts flow freely, try meditation. Specific breathing techniques associated with meditation will allow you to be entirely submerged by thoughts.

The more you think about your feelings, the more in tune with yourself you will be. Understanding how your brain is wired allows you to learn how to handle your emotions. It will help you be kinder to yourself, thus putting you on the right path towards self-compassion.

Mindfulness has also links to authenticity, to being true to yourself. It can help you understand your values and principles, thus allowing you to do things that fit your wants and needs. More authentic people are also more motivated. This drive can help you enforce your growth mindset.

Mindfulness encompasses all the critical points of self-compassionate behavior. It can help you be kinder to yourself. It can put you on the right path to self-growth. And it can make you feel connected to your inner self, your emotions, and your thoughts.

self-compassionateFinal Thoughts On What It Means To Be Self-Compassionate And How To Do It Right

Self-compassion is a necessary trait to ensure mental well-being. The problem is, most people don’t understand what it means and how to do it right. Most people were thought that self-compassion is selfish. That’s just self-pity, and only weak people engage in things like that. But that couldn’t be more of a lie. If that’s your perception, try to understand that it’s wrong. Self-compassion is about being kind to yourself and striving towards growth. The people who learn how to practice self-compassion will be better suited to take on the hardships of the world.

Self-compassion comprises three main branches: self-kindness, having common humanity, and mindfulness. To learn to be self-compassionate, you have to work on all three fronts—practice self-kindness by practicing forgiveness, consciously changing your vocabulary. Use more nice words when talking about yourself. Give yourself a pass to make mistakes and understand imperfection is human.

Have common humanity by understanding that everyone struggles and the future is more important than the past. In that regard, have a growth mindset. Don’t dwell on what could have been. Instead, create a plan targeted towards making things better in the future. Lastly, learn to be mindful by looking inwards, meditating, and letting your mind wander.

Strive towards creating a connection with your thoughts and feelings. Understand where your emotions come from and how to manage them. Be authentic, true to yourself, and work to fulfill your needs.

You wouldn’t yell at your kid for a small mistake. So, why would it make sense to be mean to yourself in those situations? Whatever kindness you would show others, remember, you are entitled to showing yourself that same kindness! Be self-compassionate!

6 Negative Mental Habits That Make Life Difficult

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Few people want their life to be complicated. And yet, sometimes, the very things that are the biggest hindrance in your life are the mental habits that you perpetuate yourself. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s true for so many!

The human mind is mighty. Everything you do, say, feel, and believe has its roots up there. Its power is so great that its subconscious machinations can be enough to turn your life upside down!

This means that bad habits that you perform mentally can be even more damaging than those you perform physically. So the things that happen in your brain could be the primary source of many of your struggles in life! Here are six negative mental habits that make life difficult.

1.    Perfectionism (one of the most common adverse mental habits)

The root word “perfect” in perfectionism sometimes makes people believe it can be a positive trait. It can be necessary for jobs where work is highly detail-oriented, but it’s ultimately destructive for you, say studies.

This is because the desire for perfectionism is unachievable. There’s no natural way for any human being to be perfect. Even the people who seem almost robotic in their success have their bad days and make mistakes. To want perfection is to like the impossible, and it leads to the following negative mental habits:

  • Overly high expectations of others, which breeds resentment
  • Excessive concern over the judgment of others and how they view you
  • Obsessions over obtaining specific goals that ultimately don’t feel fulfilling
  • Higher levels of anxiety, depression, and their symptoms
  • Inability to move past mistakes or learn from previous unfavorable events
  • Failure to roll with the punches when things don’t go to plan
  • Unreasonable expectations for yourself that you will never be able to meet
  • Decreased self-esteem due to aforementioned unmet self-expectations

mental habitsWhy being a perfectionist is so harmful

Perfectionism also has more readily visible and unwanted effects on health. This harmful habit of the mind can damage physical wellbeing by making you more susceptible to:

2.    Guilt, One of the Mental Habits That Can Cause Negativity to Enter

There are many different forms of guilt that you may experience in life. Most of them are harmful negative mental habits that you should release. These destructive forms of guilt are caused by these things:

  • Having more secure finances, better relationships, or more comfortable living standards than your loved ones.
  • Not doing enough things to help others or about not being sufficient for others in your life.
  • The thoughts and emotions that you have successfully managed and never acted on.
  • The act that you’re experiencing negative feelings even though others in the world have it worse than you.
  • Something you could not control.
  • Taking care of yourself (which is one of the most positive mental habits).

These types of guilt ultimately harm your self-esteem and are entirely counterproductive. They suck the positive thinking out of life and put you in a battle against an invisible enemy. You can’t win these fights, and this guilt doesn’t serve you in any way. You should be using those emotions and turning them on its head for positive momentum!

There is one form of guilt that can be more helpful: remorseful guilt over your mistakes. That kind of guilt can help to motivate you to make amends, learn, and improve. But there’s a point where that guilt becomes counterproductive, too. If the responsibility leads to no long-term growth or improvement, it’s a harmful habit, and it’s harming your life!

3.    People-Pleasing

Wanting to make others happy is a noble cause. But striving to please everyone around you is a destructive and one of the most harmful mental habits. This kind of behavior involves:

  • The desire to do anything possible to make everyone like you.
  • A lack of boundary-setting leads to feelings of discomfort.
  • The development of numerous unhealthy relationships and attachments with toxic individuals.
  • Constantly worrying about what people will think.
  • The overvaluing of external opinions of others and a lack of interest in developing your own.
  • Feelings of responsibility towards the thoughts and emotions of others that have nothing to do with you.
  • The misuse of healthy empathy into an unhealthy trait.
  • The constant need to use your energy, time, and resources for others, even when you need some for yourself.
  • Self-sacrifice for the sake of the comfort of others.
  • The development of self-esteem is entirely dependent on other people.
  • A desire to avoid other people altogether to avoid upsetting them.
  • The overthinking of other people’s actions, expressions, statements, behavior, and mental habits.
  • An oversensitivity to rejection.
  • The inability to properly prioritize oneself in any given situation.
  • The development of resentment as you feel mistreated by those who take advantage of your people-pleasing tendencies.
  • Feeling emotionally drained due to the constant need to abide by all these rules.

Where does people-pleasing come from?

People-pleasing behavior is often entrenched in trauma or an unhealthy childhood environment. This is why it can be such a difficult habit to leave behind. Research shows that adults who survived abuse as children had to learn hypervigilance to survive. You may have needed to constantly be on your toes to please your guardian or parents figures to avoid mistreatment.

Whether or not your people-pleasing behavior is rooted in such trauma, the fact is that it’s unhealthy. You’ll damage your future relationships, feel constantly exhausted, and won’t develop healthy self-esteem. It would help if you learned to feel comfortable putting yourself first, setting boundaries, and finding value in your intrinsic desire over other people’s.

mental habits4.    Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is the act of imagining the worst-case scenario as an outcome for every event. It’s a highly pessimistic prediction that means you get stuck in what-ifs. You lose yourself to rumination and anxiety over all the worst “what if”s you can think of.

This overthinking can often form a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you believe the worst will happen, the more likely you are to invite it inadvertently. For example:

  • If you think you’ll do poorly at work, you might decide there’s no point in trying, so you do perform poorly. Or you might get so distracted by anxiety that it results in poor performance.
  • If you think your date will hate you, you’ll pretend to be someone you’re not and come across as inauthentic. Or you’ll shoot yourself in the foot by being so nervous that you say and do all the wrong things.
  • If you think you’ll mess up a presentation, you might be so distracted by the stress that you stumble over all your words. Or you might end up playing it so safe that you do an unremarkable job.

Indeed, the mind is a powerful thing. Its negative habits can often show themselves in reality if you fail to get them in check. When you catastrophize, you become your own worst enemy, and that kind of self-sabotage can ruin your life!

5.    Bottling Up Negative Emotions Can Cause Poor Mental Habits to Snowball

Negative emotions are a part of life. They can be challenging to deal with, so learning to manage them healthily is so important. Unfortunately, a widespread bad mental habit is the bottling up of these feelings. Since they’re so painful, you don’t want to experience them. So instead, you shove them down and try not to think about them.

This emotional repression is terrible for your life. Studies have been pretty clear about how lousy repression of this kind is for your mental and physical health. You see, these emotions don’t just go away – they remain in your mind, where they can build up and fester.

This can lead to problems like the following outcomes:

  • Constantly feeling anxious, worried, depressed, or stressed.
  • Regularly feeling numb, blank, or empty, sometimes to the point of complete apathy and indifference.
  • Becoming uncomfortable when others tell you about their emotions or experience their own negative mental habits around you.
  • Refusing to express personal needs or opinions.
  • Becoming annoyed or angry when others ask you about how you feel.
  • Increased instances of forgetfulness.
  • Lashing out at those who don’t deserve it when the emotions finally cannot be contained anymore.
  • Explosive fits of extreme emotions to mild or unimportant issues due to emotional buildup.
  • Passive-aggressive behavior towards situations that trigger emotions you want to bottle up.
  • Increasing feelings of resentment towards those who may have caused some of your negative emotions.
  • Inability to process and manage complex events or emotions, causing stagnant personal growth.
  • A heavy and unhealthy dislike of being alone with your thoughts and feelings.
  • Repetitive occurrences of the same problems, mistakes, and dire situations.
  • Substance abuse to help the management of unwanted emotions.

When you don’t process your emotions in the long term, they manifest as various psychological symptoms. These symptoms can develop into mental illnesses or even become a contributing cause for physical ailments. You’ll also experience worsened relationships with others and lose self-compassion as you go. Human brains need these feelings to be resolved. It’s inherently harmful to your life if you never fix them.

6.    Fearing Failure

There’s a pretty famous quote: “Failure is a stepping stone to success.” It’s a little overused, but it’s true! Not only does a fear of failure have the same effects as catastrophizing, but it also goes beyond that. When you’re afraid of failure, what happens is that you never progress. This is because you might do these things:

  • Refuse to take risks, even if they’re very well-calculated.
  • View each failure as a symbol of wasted effort or time.
  • Do not learn and grow from past failures to increase future chances of success.
  • Never leave your comfort zone, closing you off to future opportunities.
  • Don’t get to experience anything new.
  • Aren’t able to grow your resilience and self-belief, as you haven’t seen proof of your capabilities.
  • Develop unhealthy self-esteem that fails to see its strengths.
  • Quit or give up before you can see any results.

Yes, failure can be scary. But if you never step into its risk with positive thinking, your mental habits are stunting your life and growth. The sooner you accept that failure is a part of healthy, long-term success, the better!

mental habitsFinal Thoughts On Some Negative Mental Habits That Make Life Difficult

Bad habits are always destructive, but some are more dangerous than others. Negative mental habits that live in your mind can take over your life and make it more difficult in tremendous ways. So understanding those habits can be the first step in breaking them and replacing them with something more positive!

12 Signs of Gaslighting in Relationships

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Relationships take hard work, and even if you give yourself 100 percent to each other, there may still be issues. Have you ever been with an individual that made you question your gut instincts, feelings, and even your sanity? You may be told you’re constantly overreacting, and it causes you to second-guess yourself, which is all classic signs of gaslighting in relationships.

Gaslighting is a common problem that’s recently been given much attention in the mental health world. When a person turns things around they’ve done, and makes you feel guilty for them; you’re being gaslighted. When you’re involved with a manipulative partner, your mental and physical health is in jeopardy.

What is Gaslighting?

The term gaslighting comes from an old film entitled “Gas Light” made back in 1944. The premise is that the man manipulates the wife into believing that she’s going insane, and he uses emotional abuse and control to achieve it.

When you find yourself involved with a gaslighter, it’s essential that you realize what’s happening and not allow yourself to fall for their manipulation. Each time they’re able to confuse you with their cunning ways, they gain more power over you.

gaslighting in relationshipsThe Avatar of a Partner Prone to Gaslighting in Relationships

The problem is that many gaslighters are very charming and the life of the party. They’re the person that you want to be with because it seems like their charisma is infectious. At first, they may come across as quite generous and somebody you want to spend forever with, but things take a turn all too quickly.

It won’t be long before this person becomes more secretive and leaves you guessing about what’s going on in their world. One thing that all narcissists have in common is that they use manipulation to maintain control. Their goal is to keep you off-center and to destroy your sense of mental balance.

It’s often found that these individuals are anti-social and have narcissistic personalities. Still, the real issue is they lack empathy and will use and abuse anyone in their way. According to the National Library of Medicine, those with narcissistic personality disorders often have multiple psychological conditions.

It further says that a personality disorder can take some time to emerge, especially since these folks are knowledgeable and know how to allude professionals. However, due to their inflated sense of self-worth, it’s not long before their true character is revealed, especially since they see those around them as inferior.

12 Signs of Gaslighting in Relationships

Do you know enough about this mistreatment type to know when you’ve been gaslighted? Here are some signs that a classic manipulator is playing you.

1. You’re Continually Walking on Eggshells When You Have Gaslighting in Relationships

Mental abuse can do all sorts of things to people, but one thing it does is make you walk on eggshells. You’re so scared to say or do anything out of the way because you might set your partner off. You learn to be agreeable and apologetic even if you’re not in the wrong, as you don’t want another altercation.

2. Your Spouse Acts Like a Victim When Caught

Rather than admitting they’re wrong, they blame you or others instead. When you catch your spouse doing something inappropriate, they won’t admit to it, even if their life was on the line. Instead, they want to play the victim card and turn things around onto you.

For instance, assume that you caught your partner having an affair with the neighbor. Rather than admit what they have done is wrong, they will turn it around and blame you. They will state things like they had no choice because you were not giving them enough romance at home.

3. Gaslighting in Relationships Means You Might Make Excuses

You’re embarrassed by the way your partner acts when you’re in public. You’ve gotten so used to their bizarre ways that you have learned to make excuses for them. Though you doubt how they treat you, you still love them enough that you don’t want anyone else to think anything bad of them.

4. They Deny Any Wrongdoing Even When You Have Proof

Classic cases of gaslighting in relationships stems from denial. Even if you show them irrefutable proof, they will never admit it. In their eyes, they do no wrong, and it’s always everyone else around them that has the issue.

5. Their Actions and Words Don’t Match

Your partner talks a big game, but what they say and what they do are two different things. For instance, when you complain about them not spending enough time with you, they will promise you the sun, moon, and stars.

Sadly, they are full of empty promises. If you have children, you must constantly step up to the plate and fill in the voids they’ve left. Everyone knows they don’t mean a thing they say, and they’re not a person of their word.

gaslighting in relationships6. You’re Frequently Reminded of Your Flaws

Another worrisome sign of gaslighting in relationships comes from showcasing your flaws so that the attention is turned off them. They will make you feel like you’re a hot mess, but you’re not the issue. The goal is to ensure that you feel worse about yourself so that you leave them alone.

7. They Steadily Wear You Down

The constant manipulation and browbeating from being involved with a toxic partner can wear you down. Preston Ni, M.S.B.A., talks about the common issues people face when in a relationship with a narcissist. He states that mental distortion, control, and emotional exploitation, can wear on your psyche.

All this stems from the manipulator’s unwillingness to be accountable, so they need a “fall guy.” However, don’t underestimate what this control and manipulation can do to you. They will make you think that you can’t do any better, and you will feel so bad about yourself you will be afraid to leave and ask for help.

8. Gaslighting in Relationships = Continuous Lies

If your partner opens their mouth, you can ensure that some of what they say is a lie. This is another classic sign of gaslighting in relationships. You can’t trust them, and you know that their story is always drastically different than the truth.

9. You Say, “I’m Sorry” Too Much

To keep the peace, you apologize way too much. It’s not uncommon for these situations to become violent, and the manipulator will use physical altercations to control you. So, you’ve learned that it’s better for you if you try to appease them.

10. You Feel Vulnerable

One problem in being in a toxic relationship is that you may start to feel unsure of yourself. You may think your partner has concerning motives, but you fear your behaviors and responses the most. You feel so vulnerable that you fear the next minute with this person.

11. They Attempt To Confuse You

Gaslighting in relationships is all about rocking your sense of stability. They will do anything to shake your foundation and make you question yourself and those around you.

During these times of instability, they want you to turn to them, further making you dependent upon this individual. The cycle of pain and confusion you feel makes you unable to go forward or backward, and you feel stuck.

12. They Isolate You

Remember the old saying, what a tangled web we weave? The manipulator doesn’t want their web of lies and wrongdoings to be found out, so they try to isolate you. They will pull you away from family, friends, or anyone who might paint them negatively.

They want you to trust them and think they’re your entire world. That’s because your emotions make you more malleable. They don’t care about you; it’s about furthering their agenda.

gaslighting in relationshipsFinal Thoughts on Gaslighting in Relationships

The mental abuse that victims of gaslighting go through is immense. The key is to identify the signs of being mistreated and get out. You can work on the aspect of your mental health that has been compromised once you’re out from under the control of the toxic person.

Gaslighting in relationships is more common than what you might think. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, more than 200,000 calls are placed daily to their centers from people being abused. Don’t think for one minute that the mental manipulation and emotional threats you feel won’t turn physical.

Since you’re dealing with someone emotionally unstable and with underlying severe mental issues, you must consider your safety first. Thankfully, many organizations and support groups out there can help you. Gaslighting in relationships is not uncommon, and you don’t have to live this way anymore!

14 Negative Comments Always to Keep to Yourself

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When you’re angry, you might say hurtful or life-destroying things. Even when you don’t mean the words you say, you might hurt someone you care for. Words hurt, especially when they come from someone you love, so limit the negative comments you spew at your loved ones when you’re angry.

Once you say something, you can’t take it back or make the other person un-hear it. You can apologize, but it doesn’t make the pain any less, and it doesn’t fix everything. The best thing you can do is avoid saying negative comments when you’re angry.

You might say things when you’re angry that kill the other person’s self-confidence. Even with an apology, you can’t restore the confidence you caused them to lose. Plus, they’ll always wonder if there is some truth in what you said, even if you assure them otherwise.

Fourteen Negative Comments to Avoid Saying

Take some time to read these negative comments that you should never say in anger before you experience an angry situation again. Remember that apologies are hard to do, and they don’t always fix things. Avoid saying negative comments, instead, and you won’t have to worry about forgiveness and regret.

negative comments1. I hate you. (The worst of all the negative comments)

This phrase is often spoken out of anger to people that you love. Since the people you say it to love and care about you typically, it’ll cut deep when you speak these words. Saying that you hate someone is impossible to take back, and they might never forget when you said it.

2. I wish you were never part of my life.

Everyone that comes into your life makes a difference in some way. You learn something from each person, guiding you to become a better, more logical person. Even when you’re angry, don’t tell someone you wish they’d never been in your life.

Speaking those words implies that you would be better off without the life lessons you learned. Plus, it indicates that your memories with the person don’t matter. You had happy times with the person, so don’t speak these negative words you can’t take back.

3. You always do this.

This phrase overgeneralizes the other person’s behavior. Also, avoid things like, “you never do this,” for the same reason. They sometimes do it right even if they keep doing the same thing that makes you angry.

If the other person does try to do things to make you angry, you shouldn’t be spending time with them. By overgeneralizing their mistakes, you make them feel bad about themselves. Plus, they’ll think they can never live up to your expectations.

4. I don’t think your passions are worthwhile.

Telling someone that the things they are passionate about aren’t worthwhile is hurtful and demeaning. When they are excited about something, let them be excited even if you don’t understand it. Don’t turn your anger into an emotional attack on the other person’s goals, dreams, or visions.

If their passions interfere with your life, point out how it affects you and your relationship. Don’t attack their joy over the experience. Instead, only bring up the main issue that you want to discuss.

If you have already expressed your concerns, refrain from saying more. Please don’t assume they aren’t listening and begin commenting negatively to get their attention. Give them time to process your words, offering a better chance that they’ll see your perspective.

5. We should break up. (This is one of the negative comments you might regret later)

When you’re angry at your partner, avoid using this negative phrase. Even if you feel like you might want to break up in the heat of the moment, give yourself time to reflect on the thought. Chances are if it comes to mind only when you’re angry, you don’t honestly want to break up.

If you repeatedly use this comment, your partner might not forgive you. No one wants to worry about their relationship ending, so avoid using it as ammunition. Plus, you might say the words and find that you get your angry wish when they disappear.

6. I don’t care what you have to say.

When you use this negative comment, it implies that you think you have better things to do. It makes the other person feel like you don’t value your relationship, their opinion, or their place in your life. Avoid making people feel like they don’t matter to you even when you’re angry.

Telling someone you don’t care makes them feel alone and invisible. It can create an irreparable rift in your relationship, and they’ll stop coming to you for things.

7. I don’t ever want to see you again.

Saying that you don’t ever want to see someone again is incredibly hurtful. Even if you apologize later, they’ll always wonder if you’d rather they weren’t around. Plus, the person will always worry that you’ll say hurtful comments in the future.

If you want the people in your life to feel comfortable around you, avoid saying negative things like this. You don’t want people feeling on edge when you’re in the room. Try using kind words and walking away when you’re angry.

negative comments8. I hate the people in your life.

It becomes a severe personal attack when you say that you hate someone’s family or friends. Many people take negative comments about their loved ones more seriously than ones about themselves. Relationships are complicated, so avoid bringing up issues with people they care about when you’re angry.

There’s a fine line when it comes to insulting someone’s loved ones and friends. If you keep the negative comments going, you might end up saying something the other person won’t forgive. Plus, if they do forgive you, it can make things tense in social situations.

9. This happened because of what you did.

Placing blame is never the right thing to do when you’re angry. Even if something is the other person’s fault, pointing it out won’t help the situation and’ll likely worsen things. Telling someone that it’s all their fault isn’t kind, and it’ll bring them down while ruining their self-confidence.

If you often place blame when you’re angry, the people in your life will feel like they can’t please you. They’ll feel like you constantly attack their attempts and fixate on their mistakes.

10. You’ll never change.

This negative comment is harmful for a couple of reasons. First, it implies that you don’t like the person as they are, making them feel like they aren’t good enough. Second, they won’t try to change their behavior because they’ll feel like you won’t recognize it.

No one is perfect, so using this comment implies that they cannot improve. The other person might be trying their most complex, and your comment could knock them right back down. Give them a chance, and kindly point out what they did wrong instead.

11. Forget about it. (You might not think of these words as negative comments, but it stops productive conversation)

While you might think this comment is fine, it’s not. Telling someone to forget about the issue or the conversation isn’t helpful because it hides real emotions. It’ll cause the other person to worry and stress more, potentially causing anxiety.

Instead, try to express yourself. If you can’t express yourself without saying hurtful things, ask for time to calm down. Asking for time is better than telling them to forget about it because it shows you aren’t giving up or dismissing them.

12. You deserve every bad thing that’s happened to you.

Bad things sometimes happen in life, but it doesn’t mean the person deserved it. Some people even spend lots of time and energy trying to figure out what they did to deserve bad things. By telling someone they deserved terrible things, it can make them question who they are.

The person you say it to might start to feel like they aren’t worthy of good things. They might start looking down on themselves and passing up on positive experiences and opportunities. Even if you apologize, your words can still affect them.

13. I can’t believe how stupid you are.

Telling someone they are stupid knocks their self-esteem and makes them question their abilities. Plus, it’ll make them question the way you view them regularly.

When you feel like you might call someone stupid, remind yourself that mistakes happen. Everyone makes mistakes, and it doesn’t make them stupid or incompetent. This reminder will help you hold back the angry words and keep the thoughts inside.

Calling someone stupid isn’t the only derogatory comment you can make out of anger. Avoid any name-calling because it’s all damaging in some way.

14. I’ve done so much for you, so you owe me.

You shouldn’t expect anything in return when you do things for others. Do the favor or offer your help without holding it against the other person. Using this comment or something similar will make the person feel like they should never accept help.

This type of comment will also break the trust in your relationship. The other person will feel betrayed that you’re throwing things in their face. No one owes you anything, so avoid this phrase entirely.

negative commentsFinal Thoughts on Negative Comments Never to Say in Anger

When you experience anger, your emotions might be all over the place. At the moment, you might want to say something to hurt the other person. Remember that doing so will only worsen the situation, cause unnecessary emotional pain, and cause you to regret what you said.

Avoid using these negative words, and you’ll find that your arguments become resolved much sooner. No one is perfect, so you might still make mistakes sometimes, but keep working and avoiding this type of negativity.

Sometimes, people don’t even realize they are saying hurtful things. If you say any of the negative comments on this list or something similar, you are putting off positivity. Avoid doing this so you don’t irreparably damage relationships by hurting others.

How to Write a Journal (And Why It Helps You)

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Where do you go when your thoughts are consuming, or do you need to share personal feelings? How can you revisit and reflect on some of the beautiful events in your life? Learning how to write in a journal may be your answer.

Early humans developed language before they did writing. Their culture and history were preserved by the elders sharing stories and instructing the next generation. They also described daily rituals and events with simple paintings on cave walls.

As human civilization evolved, they represented their language with symbols that became the first writings. Soon, early cultures around the known world began to keep records of their history for practical purposes. Prehistory blended seamlessly into recorded history with the beginning of journal writings.

You’ve probably studied some of the earliest journal writing in school, including the Babylonians, Chinese, and Egyptians. These priceless windows into the distant past were how these cultures measured time and remembered their people’s history. While some chronicled great battles and other monumental events, others were lists and basic household reporting.

If you’ve never kept a personal journal, there’s no better time than the present to start. It’s your private writings, and you choose how it’s done. The only rules for keeping a journal are the ones that you decide.

What’s Your Purpose of Writing?

If you want to learn how to write a journal and discover the benefits, you need a purpose. As with any new habit, you’re more likely to continue if it has an objective and you recognize how it helps you. According to an article published by Harvard Business Review, everyone’s timing is different when assimilating new habits, so it depends on you.

how to write a journal1. Chronicles

Whether you call your personal notes a journal, diary, or log, it doesn’t matter as long as you decide its purpose. Maybe you want your journal to be a summary of your day. You can divide it into blocks like a calendar. Some of the earliest known journals were simple chronicles.

2. Reactions and Annotations

If you’re like most people, the events of the day leave emotional impressions on your mind. Some journalists like to jot down their ruminations and opinions with each event. Noted journal entries are handy when you want to reflect on your feelings in the past and compare them to the present.

3. Creative Journals

Another way to learn how to write a journal is to enhance your creativity. You needn’t be another Picasso to enjoy sketching or painting. You can easily concentrate your journal efforts into collecting your work and adding notes as you see fit. Many iconic artists like Leonardo da Vinci kept meticulous journals and records about their work.

If you are a gifted writer, then composing a journal may be second nature. Your writing journal can become a treasure trove of sudden inspiration and rough drafts. Regardless of if you create poetry or standard text, your journal will be an indispensable writing tool.

4. Instruction Journals

Good cooks and chefs often keep detailed journals on their favorite recipes, ingredients, and techniques. Learning how to keep a journal can help you remember essential skills at home or work. Instruction journals are helpful reference guides to keep handy.

5. Spiritual Journal

Are you trying to develop a deeper connection between you and the Divine? This desire may be one of the many reasons you want to learn how to write a journal. Meditation, visualization, and writing in your diary are excellent tools for spiritual enhancement.

As you listen to your inner voice and connect with the Universe and your spiritual guides, you may want to remember their words. Take note of how you feel and any other inspiring sensations you have.

Your journal can be an integral part of your daily devotions, although you needn’t be religious to keep one. Spiritual journals play a vital role in many sacred traditions. For example, in Wiccan tradition, the grimoire serves as a journal for practice and inspiration.

Ready, Set, Write

Now that you’ve decided your journal’s purpose, you need to determine the style you want. It can be as straightforward or as complex as you like. You can buy an inexpensive notebook, or you can find a beautiful blank journal in the book section of your favorite department store.

When you learn how to write a journal, your creative sparks will fly. If you enjoy crafting, you can design a unique diary. Decorate it with anything that speaks to you and use colorful pens and markers for writing, drawing, or doodling.

Many people who journal like to cut out inspirational pictures and quotes from magazines to post. When added to your musings and other writings, it becomes a portable dream board. You’re only limited by your imagination when you learn how to write a journal.

How Does Writing in a Journal Help You?

Journaling is not only a fun way to chronicle your life, but it also has several benefits. You’ll wonder why you didn’t start doing it years ago. Here are some of the possible benefits that journaling can offer.

how to write a journal1. Calms the Chatter

Your brain may take a little hiatus when you sleep, but it’s still running the systems that keep you alive. Plus, your mind may play a constant loop of negative self-talk. These worries may cause many sleepless nights.

Try writing down your thoughts and worries in your journal before going to bed. As you close the diary, leave the problems inside, and clear your mind. You’ll have more clarity for problem-solving in the morning.

2. Reduces Stress

How many people have told you lately how stressed out they are? Maybe your stress levels have reached the max. An article published in the Cambridge University Press states that writing can beat stress. Just 15 to 20 minutes of writing in your journal at least four days a week can decrease depression and boost positive moods.

3. Improves Your Memory

Your short-term memory doesn’t always keep up with your long-term memory. The chances are that you don’t remember what you had for breakfast this morning. As you get older, you may have problems recollecting some of your fondest memories.

When you learn how to write a journal, it becomes the history book of your life. Use your journal to record all your thoughts, dreams, and events of the day. When your memory needs to be refreshed, go back, and review old entries.

4. Defines Your Goals

Another benefit of writing in your journal is that it can help you define your goals. How can you achieve something if you aren’t sure what you want to do? Use your journal for recording short-term and long-term goals.

When you can read and understand your goals, it’s easier to plan. Plus, you can add or subtract from them as needed. Your journal can serve as a visual aid for your future.

5. Inspires Your Creativity

How often have you conceived a brilliant idea and forgot it the next day? Learning to write a journal will help you keep track of these ideas. A burst of creativity can hit you at any time, so have your journal handy to make notes.

The next time you need a creative idea for a project, you can flip through past entries for inspiration. Feel free to draw pictures or add anything that will fuel your imagination. It will be right at your fingertips.

6. Improves Your Writing Skills

Regardless of your profession, excellent writing skills are essential. You’ll not go far in the business world by sending communications with poor grammar, sentence structure, and misspellings. Writing every day in your journal is an ideal practice for improving your writing skills.

7. Validates Your Feelings

Another benefit of learning how to write a journal is to get in touch with your feelings. After a stressful day, it’s comforting to allow your thoughts to flow from your mind to the paper. It’s a better way to understand how you feel about situations in your life.

7. Boosts Your Immune System

Who would have guessed that writing in your journal could boost your immunity? According to a study cited by the American Psychological Association, participants who recorded daily events in their journal measured higher in immunity than those who didn’t.

Of course, more studies need to be conducted for the findings to be more conclusive. However, your journal activities may mean less stress and a more incredible feeling of well-being. It’s worth the effort.

how to write a journalFinal Thoughts on How Writing a Journal Helps You

Your life is a beautiful gift that deserves gratitude and celebration every day. Consider the benefits of collecting your thoughts, feelings, and ideas in a journal. Not only can it help you, but you’re leaving a living testament of who you are for the next generation.

15 Mantras to Help You Find Balance Between Home and Work

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Many people want to find balance between home and work, but few know how to make it happen. By finding ways to negotiate the thin line between work and play, you can improve your mental health. Plus, you can enjoy life and spend quality time with your loved ones once you master this balancing act.

Work-life balance typically comes down to how you feel about your schedule. Someone with the same schedule as you might feel content and energized while you feel guilty and stressed. It doesn’t matter what your schedule looks like, but how you approach it and react to it.

Work is an essential part of your life and often defines who you are and how you live. However, your home life is just as important (or more) as your work life. At home, you can make memories with your loved ones and spend time rediscovering who you are as you change and grow.

Fifteen Mantras to Help You Find Balance

Many people make their work-life balance more of a priority than their home life because they don’t know how to achieve that goal. These tips can help you find the balance you so desperately need. Save your peace of mind by finding a healthy balance between home and work.

find balance1. I don’t have to do everything right now.

When you want to do well at work and home, it’s easy to feel like you must do everything right now. Use this mantra to remember that you don’t have to attend every event or volunteer to work an extra shift. If you are doing your job well, you shouldn’t feel obligated to take on any additional responsibilities at work.

This mantra reaffirms that you don’t have to be there for every sports practice for your kids. You can sometimes skip a home-cooked meal in place of pizza, and you don’t have to volunteer for every event. If you’re there for the big things, you can miss some other things without feeling guilty.

2. I schedule my priorities so that I don’t lose balance.

As you use this affirmation, consider what is most important to you. If your home life is at the top of your list, make sure you schedule time for it. By scheduling this time, you can make sure you don’t overcommit to anything else.

Typically, your workday is pre-schedules, and you aim to work a certain number of hours. Think of your home life in the same terms. Your personal life is just as important as work, so prioritize and schedule lit the same way.

3. I don’t have to aim for perfection.

This mantra will help you remember that you don’t have to be perfect. If you aim for perfection, you’ll never feel satisfied with any area of your life. As long as you did your best, you can feel good about your effort.

4. I appreciate the process of finding a balance between home and work.

You likely won’t find balance overnight, and you’ll have to adjust along the way. Use this mantra to appreciate the obstacles along the way. If you can appreciate the process, you’ll stay motivated to keep trying.

Remember that as your life changes, your routines and schedules may change, as well. Make sure you find a new balance when this happens, as it is all part of the process.

5. I am a good parent and a good worker.

This statement reaffirms that you don’t have to choose between work and family. Many people feel like they must pick one, but you can be good at both.

Use this affirmation to stop feeling like you must separate your roles. Think of yourself as both a good parent and a good worker equally.

6. I have people that care about me and want to spend time together.

Work might sometimes pull you away from your loved ones, disrupting your life balance. This affirmation serves as a reminder of all the people that care about you and want to see you. As you use this affirmation, you’ll find yourself wanting to reach out and plan time together.

7. I desire the joys of life, and I adjust my day to allow for it.

It’s easy to tell yourself that you don’t need to take time for joy in your life when work gets busy. This affirmation helps you adjust your day to allow for moments of happiness even amidst the stress. Don’t miss out on joy because you’re spending all your time working.

find balance8. I make choices that allow for balance in my life.

You are in control of your life, and your balance depends on the choices that you make. Every time you choose to work late, you miss out on your home life. Likewise, when you take extra time at home, your work-life suffers.

Either way, you make choices that determine your balance between home and work. If you prioritize one over the other, you’ll choose that option more often. However, if you prioritize both equally, you can find balance to make both areas work.

9. I balance the ebbs and flows of life.

As much as you can hope for each day to be perfect, they won’t all work out that way. Life is full of ups and downs, and learning to adjust to the unexpected can help reinforce your home and work balance.

Sometimes, you could work a little extra to accommodate taking time off for leisure. If you know a busy time at work is coming up, you could plan some extra fun before that time begins. Thinking long-term can help you maintain a healthy balance between work and home, as you can accommodate changes.

10. I create balance without waiting for others to make it possible for me.

You can’t wait for other people to create your balance between home and work. It’s tempting to blame your employer for the lack of balance, but it is up to you to find balance. Adjust your life to create the balance you want, and take ownership when you notice it isn’t working.

This affirmation helps you take control of the situation and make the necessary changes. When you remember that it is up to you to create the balance, you’ll find that it quickly starts to take form.

11. I know that working hard doesn’t mean working more.

You can be a hard worker without putting in tons of overtime. Many people believe that working hard means working long hours, but that isn’t always true.

If you can prioritize well, work efficiently, and stay focused as you work, you can get more done in less time. This affirmation can help you stay motivated efficient so that you can spend some time at home.

12. I set boundaries that allow for a better balance between home and work.

If you’re nervous about setting boundaries in your life, use this affirmation to build courage. Setting boundaries can make all the difference in maintaining a balance between home and work.

If the people in your life know when your working hours are, they can respect that time and allow you to work. Likewise, if your employer knows when you have family time, they’ll understand that you are not available for more work. If anyone in your life tries to cross your boundaries, a firm reminder should do the trick, and they likely won’t try again.

13. I am steady and focused on my life to accomplish the things that need to get done.

Maintaining a healthy balance between home and work requires that you stay focused. Get your work done so you can focus on your family or home life. Use this affirmation to remain focused and work steadily throughout the day, so you have free time later.

14. I let go of guilt because I’m doing the best I can.

No one is perfect, including you, and you shouldn’t feel like you must be. Don’t feel guilty when you mess up, forget about something, or miss a meeting.

You can’t always make it to every event at the school, and you might not make every work meeting. Don’t feel guilty about any of these things because you are trying your best. This affirmation can help you release the negative feelings and help you feel more comfortable with your life balance.

15. I make time for the things that are important to me.

You won’t get or find more time in your busy life. Instead, reprioritize your time and ensure you plan for self-care and bonding with loves ones. You need this time if you want to find a balance that works.

find balanceFinal Thoughts on Mantras to Help You Find Balance Between Home and Work

It can be hard to find balance when you want to be a hard worker and still have time for yourself and your loved ones. These affirmations can help you prioritize both parts of your life, allowing you to be good at both.

If you can find balance between home and work, you’ll realize that you improve in both areas of your life, too. Finding a balance in your life is essential, and you’ll quickly become happier and feel fulfilled.

13 Habits for Better Memory as You Age

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As you get older, you will likely experience mental problems, including memory loss. Before that happens to you, you can develop better habits to ensure better memory as you age. Passive activities that don’t require thought or movement can hinder your ability to recall things, so those are the habits to target first.

Social media is one of the worst passive activities, but avoiding physical activities is high on the list, too. Aim to do activities that engage all of your senses simultaneously because that’s when your brain is the most stimulated. Replace your sedentary habits and replace them with ones that are beneficial for brain health.

It’s tempting to live a stress-free life, doing the same things each day. However, living this way is detrimental for your brain because it doesn’t require any brain stimulation. When there’s no brain stimulation, it causes your brain to become lazy and slow, interfering with your cognitive recall abilities.

Thirteen Habits for Better Memory

The longer your mindless habits go on, the worse the effects become on your brain as you age. If you want better memory as you age, implement these habits to make a difference. As you change your habits, you’ll experience improved brain functioning and better memory.

1. Listen to Music

better memory Studies show that listening to music can help improve your memory as you age. Music triggers areas of the brain that affect memory and other aspects of cognition. Hearing certain songs can help people retrieve stored memories, and it helps them formulate new memories.

Additionally, if you can play an instrument, doing so can also help improve your memory. If you don’t know how to play an instrument, consider learning one or joining a choir. Learning something new that involves music is one of the best ways to improve long-term memory.

2. Do Math in Your Head

Doing math in your head without using any tools can quickly improve your memory. Don’t use a calculator, pencil, paper, or a computer to figure out the answer. Doing math in your head helps stimulate your brain and gets you thinking in different ways that help improve your memory recall.

One idea is to do math problems in your head as you exercise or walk around. Another idea is to try to count money without using any tools.

3. Do a Taste Bud Challenge Every Time You Eat

One of the best ways to stimulate your mind is by honing in on your senses. When you eat, you often use all of your reasons simultaneously. Take the experience one step further by doing a taste bud challenge every time you eat something you didn’t cook.

A taste bud challenge is easy and doesn’t require anything special. As you eat, try to identify the individual ingredients in the dish. Focus on herbs and spices, and see how many you can come up with.

4. Silently Repeat What People Say

When people are speaking, challenge yourself to repeat what they say in your mind. Don’t speak out loud, but keep your repetition going until the person finishes talking. When you do this, you train your brain to focus on and remember what people are saying to you.

Plus, as you repeat what people say in your mind, it boosts your overall brain function. This habit works because you can remember and recall information just by asking your brain to do so.

5. Exercise Regularly (Besides Better Health, You Might Enjoy Better Memory)

Physical activity is essential for improving your ability to withstand neurological damage from aging. This neurological damage contributes to memory loss, making exercise a leading contributor to healthy brain function.

Additionally, physical exercise improves circulation to the brain, ensuring oxygen and nutrient delivery. It also reduces stress, helping you focus on your present environment and develop a better memory.

Another reason that regular exercise leads to a better memory is that it gives you time to think freely. When exercising, you give your brain a chance to process and silently recite things you heard. You can use your exercise time as a chance to practice number and word games in your mind.

6. Use Your Non-Dominant Hand

Switching hands to do daily tasks can help stimulate the brain and improve memory. Use your weaker hand to do basic tasks like eating, brushing your teeth, or doing easy chores. As you challenge yourself, your brain activity continually increases.

7. Read Out Loud

Reading books aloud engages your imagination in a different way than reading silently. It’s also more engaging than listening to audiobooks or hearing someone else read.

You can read out loud to yourself, focusing on the words that you hear yourself saying. Another option is to read out loud with a loved one, taking turns reading and listening.

better memory8. Try New Things and Push Yourself

By developing a habit of trying new things, you’ll force your brain to think differently. Plus, it’ll use different neurotransmitters and neurons in your brain, improving your overall brain function.

Take up a new hobby, try a new type of food, travel to a new location, or take a class. No matter what you choose to do, you’ll benefit from the experience if it’s new for you. You can also push yourself to master or develop a new skill. If you already know the basics, challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone and do more.

9. Take a Technology Break for Better Memory

When you’re overly dependent on technology, it disrupts your ability to recall things and think critically. Technology leads to a sedentary lifestyle as you use your devices for everything from basic math to spelling. Many people also use it to travel, always leaving the location services and maps turned on.

If you notice that you use your electronics for everything, consider taking a technology break. Stop using your devices for basic things that you can figure out on your own. Plus, try to find locations using your sense of direction rather than always following a GPS.

10. Expand Your Social Connections

Spending all of your time with the same people can hinder your brain’s abilities. Work on expanding your social networks to improve your memory and stimulate your brain.

While spending time with people like you is comforting, you should find some people who aren’t like you at all. By doing so, you slow age-related memory loss and stimulate your mental growth.

11. Practice Meditation

Meditation provides soothing benefits to your brain, eliminating unhelpful thoughts and helping you quiet your mind. As it alleviates stress and improves your mood, it enhances your memory and can reverse brain deterioration. Research indicates that meditation can improve short-term memory for people of all ages.

Additionally, studies show that meditating can increase the gray matter in your brain. The gray matter declines as you age, negatively impacting memory and overall brain function. By increasing the gray matter, you protect yourself from those age-related issues.

12. Better Memory Make Someone a Lifelong Learner

If you never stop learning, your brain will always have stimulation. To prevent age-related memory loss, make a conscious effort to be a life-long learner. You don’t have to waste time learning things you aren’t interested in.

Find a class that is interesting to you and focus on learning as much as you can. You can also find online courses, borrow books from the library, or ask someone to teach you something they know. No matter how you prefer to learn, continue learning and developing your mind despite how old, you get.

13. Consume Healthy Foods and Drinks

Your diet plays a significant role in your brain health. The things you consume affect your mind just as much as they affect your body. Start by eating less added sugar because it’s one of the leading causes of memory decline.

Another way to improve your mental health through your diet is by drinking less alcohol. Alcoholic beverages can negatively impact your memory by altering your brain and causing neurotoxic effects. An alcoholic drink is fine occasionally, but avoid making a habit of it.

Cutting down on refined carbs is another way to boost your memory. Limit the amount of cake, cereal, white rice, cookies, and white bread you regularly consume. These foods have high glycemic indexes, leading to cognitive decline and decreased function.

Additionally, consuming anti-inflammatory foods can boost your memory. These foods reduce oxidative stress, decreasing your risk of developing memory issues.

better memoryFinal Thoughts on Habits for Better Memory as You Age

As you age, your memory recall may decline over time. However, implementing some of these habits can help you develop a better memory and maintain it as you get older. Everyone knows that taking care of your body is essential to good health, but so is taking care of your mind.

These tips will help you recall things better, even as you get older. Making one or two changes at a time is your best option, and then implementing a new habit as time goes on will further the challenge. If you continue adding in new beneficial practices, you will experience improved health and better memory.

10 Reasons to Join a Community Outreach Program

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Joining a community outreach program is the first step toward advancing causes close to your home.

Legendary social activist Dorothy Day believed that the only solution for loneliness was the love that comes from the community. Why do some of the most profound challenges seem possible when you unite with friends and neighbors?

The social and personal needs in a community are as varied as the people who have them. Unfortunately, nobody lives in a utopia where everything is perfect. It’s not reality, no matter how upscale the neighborhood.

Ten Reasons to Join Community Outreach Programs

You’ve heard the saying that the first step to solving an issue is to admit there’s a problem. After you’ve defined the problem, you try to find what is causing it. Then, it’s time to brainstorm for solutions.

The exact process that works for personal problems can also address joint issues. You connect with other people in your community with the same concerns. Here are ten reasons to join a community outreach program.

community outreach1. Community Outreach Makes a Difference Locally

Regardless of the overwhelming issue, you can make a local impact. Remember that change starts with you. What can you do as an individual to help those who need it most? When like-minded people connect in a community outreach program, positive actions spread across your community.

It’s easy to say that you’re only one person and the cause is too great for one. If everyone feels this way, nothing can be accomplished. A team is only as powerful as its members, and no person or action is too insignificant to matter.

2. Encouraging Community Responsibility

Running a household efficiently takes time, diligence, and resources. Imagine how difficult living with a partner or children would be if all the chores fell on you. If anything would be done on the inside or outside, you must do it.

Such a tremendous workload would soon drag you down, and some tasks would go by the wayside. Soon, you would be in a debilitating frazzle, and your home would be in chaos. When chores are divided among each family member, nobody gets overburdened, and home life is better.

Imagine your neighborhood is a colossal house where you and all your neighbors live. The same division of responsibility that runs a single home works on a grander scale for a community. As part of a community outreach program, you are shouldering your share of finding solutions to collective issues.

You may discover that your town or city has multiple outreach programs. Some may be secular-based, and religious organizations may facilitate others. Maybe your chosen group is a local chapter of a more extensive state and national organization.

For optimal benefits for you and your neighbors, consider local groups first. The volunteerism and funds stay local, and everyone can see the results. However, your local outreach program may also receive higher-level awards and grants.

3. Giving Back to Your Neighbors

Do you remember all the people in your life who provided encouragement, teaching, and resources to get you to where you are? Most influential people were in your community, such as teachers, spiritual leaders, and employers. Although you’ve probably thanked them many times, your best appreciation is to follow their example.

Regardless of your skills and talents, you have something to offer others in your area. If you reside in one of the countless at-risk communities in America, you’ll find community outreach programs that are serving others. Find your niche and give back to the population that is offered to you.

You can benefit your community with time and resources. If you don’t have a lot of time to volunteer, you can still help sponsor programs in your local outreach program. Donations of money or other goods are often tax deductible at the end of the year.

4. Community Outreach Teaches You New Things

People who are reaching in their area receive double blessings. Not only do you help local folks in need, but you learn important lessons along the way. You might discover a talent you never had until you started volunteering.

There will always be specific issues that face your community as a whole. For example, homelessness is a severe problem across the country. According to statistics published by World Population Review, more than half a million Americans live without homes. These include individuals and whole families, per the article.

Maybe you have a burden for displaced families or hunger. When you join a community outreach program, you’ll discover the many local, state, and available federal resources. You’ll learn how to work with social service organizations and non-profits.

Another benefit of volunteering in your community is meeting people from all walks of life. Some of your closest neighbors may have different cultures and traditions. Sharing these cultures allows people to find common ground with each other.

5. Empowering Your Community

What are some changes you’d like to see in your neighborhoods? Do your roads, streets, and infrastructure need to be improved? Maybe you want better literacy, tutoring, and school support systems.

Are you proud of your area, or could it use some cleaning and beautifying? Working together as a community helps combine resources and a collective voice to improve your location. Community programs can promote awareness and catch the attention of local, state, and federal lawmakers.

As soon as your community celebrates a victory, it can build positive energy for another one. Everyone will realize that their work wasn’t in vain, and they will set their goals higher. People feel good when they’re involved in positive change.

community outreach6. Community Outreach Connects Friends and Neighbors

Nothing brings people together like a common cause. These issues are usually the impetus for creating community outreach programs. You may meet like-minded people in these groups you never knew lived in your neighborhood.

Working with others who validate your feelings and share your ideas is empowering. These groups can boost community pride and camaraderie. It’s no longer a singular goal but a collective one.

7. Gaining Professional Experience

Some community programs are strictly volunteer-based, while others may be licensed non-profits. No matter which type your group is, you’re bound to learn new skills that can help you professionally. Your responsibilities may include office work, community programs, or assisting others one-on-one.

Many community people enjoy their volunteer work so much that they do it full-time. Your new skills might help you get a promotion at your current employer, or you may be inspired to change careers. You’ll be just as blessed as those you are helping in your area.

8. Saving Local Resources

How much would your community have to pay private companies for cleaning, building, restoration, and beautification? Most communities barely make it on their shoestring budgets and can’t afford any extras. Volunteers provided by community groups can offer free labor and make a difference.

Plus, many local businesses and professionals belong to these groups and may offer significant discounts on supplies and labor. For example, consider the money your community could save if volunteers created a beautiful park or sponsored clean-up days.

Not only will you be helping your community’s budget, but everyone will see the benefits. Volunteers like you can serve in schools, medical facilities, and places of worship. The saved money can go for other essential community needs.

9. Improving Yourself

The smile on the face of a child or adult you may be teaching to read is priceless. When you reach out to others, you feel better about yourself. An article published by Princeton University shares that volunteering can boost your self-esteem.

Helping others in your community can also make you more empathetic. For example, volunteering at your local food bank puts faces on issues like hunger and helping the homeless. You’ll become less judgmental and more apt to do other things to help.

Seeing the world through another’s eyes often gives your spiritual walk new depth. Helping those in need fosters a sense of gratitude and genuine humility. It’s a neighbor helping neighbor, and you may feel more connected to the Universe.

10. Community Outreach Benefits Your Health

Joining a community outreach program can be an overall boost physically, mentally, and spiritually. An article published by Greater Good Magazine mentions that community volunteering may ease depression and anxiety. Many volunteers report being happier and enjoying a greater sense of well-being.

Local volunteering can also lower your stress levels, reports an article published by AARP. Lower stress levels mean reducing chronic stress hormones that can lead to serious health problems. You can challenge your brain more with problem-solving skills and stay more physically active.

community outreachFinal Thoughts on Joining Community Outreach Programs

When you volunteer with a community outreach program, you’ve aligned with friends, neighbors, and the Universe. You’ve answered your call by saying, “If not me, then who?” and “If not now, then when?” If every community worked together, the world could change one neighborhood at a time.

10 Behaviors an Inattentive Partner Will Display to Reveal Themselves

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The doting husband or wife is a precious gift because there are plenty of partners who are inattentive to the needs of their spouse. These are usually self-centered folks who put their desires above everyone else, and they are notorious for ignoring those around them. Having a lack of attention from your partner can be a bitter pill to swallow, as a human being has emotional and physical needs that must be met.

Now, you should realize that relationships go through many phases if you’ve been together for any length of time. You will have periods where you can’t stand each other, and there will be other times where you can’t keep your hands off of them. The ebbs and flows are all a normal part of life, but what do you do when your partner is constantly disinterested in you and doesn’t care for your needs?

Ten Crystal Clear Signs of an Inattentive Partner

Many people don’t realize they have a problem until they read an article that clarifies everything clearly for them. For instance, you’ve become so accustomed to life as you know it that nothing feels out of the ordinary. Most couples have some degree of interest in one another, even if they have a narcissistic personality.

Some folks think that toxic relationships are those where they call each other names and throw punches, but other issues can be just as bad. Do you know how to spot the signs of an inattentive partner?

inattentive1. An Inattentive Partner Will Shut Down

They have no interest in your life or any occurrences that don’t directly involve them. They will shut down the minute you try to talk about anything relationship-wise. Whether you’re trying to tell them about a bill to pay or something you need, they will tune you out and walk away.

Their blatant disregard for your feelings and affection is easily noticed. You may have become accustomed to “sleeping single in a double bed,” and you don’t know anything else. However, this is not what love and relationships are supposed to be like.

2. They Refuse To Discuss or Debate and Issue

Healthy arguments are suitable for a relationship. According to Jennifer A. Samp, Ph.D. from Psychology Today, arguing facilitates talking, which helps communication. Disagreements help both parties gain another perspective on the matter, and it enables you to understand each other’s core values. When someone doesn’t even care to discuss a matter with you, it just shows how little they care.

They’re saying loud and clear, without opening their mouth, that they don’t value your opinions and could care less about issues you’re facing.

3. Romance Is the Last Thing on Their Mind

While intimacy isn’t the only thing in a relationship, it’s undoubtedly an essential part of it. It’s not normal for a couple to skip romantic relations with one another. There should be some connection physically that helps to bind you together.

4. An Inattentive Person Will Forget Important Dates and Things

The inattentive mate won’t remember critical dates like birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Remember, people make time and never forget things near and dear to them. So, it’s not that they have a memory recall issue, but it’s that these dates aren’t important enough for them to remember.

Now, keep in mind that some folks tend to be scatterbrained and often forget things. However, you can tell the difference as this will affect all aspects of their life and not just matters regarding you.

5. They Refuse To Make Eye Contact

Body language is often overlooked, but if a partner doesn’t look you in the eye, or they shift their eyes to the ground or corner when you’re speaking, it’s a sign of being inattentive. They either have something to hide and feel guilty about, or they don’t care enough to look at you and address the issues.

inattentive6. They Need Your Help but Won’t Give Assistance in Return

It’s typical of the narcissist to need you to come when they call, but don’t count on them to give you the same courtesy when you need help. They want the whole world to drop what they’re doing and attend to them in their hour of need, but they are always too busy to be bothered when it’s time for them to repay the generosity.

Not being there emotionally is one thing, but it is a whole other ballgame when you can’t get your partner to be there physically when you need them. They’re disinterested in your life, and it’s hard to ignore their blatant disrespect.

7. They Don’t Value Your Time or Feelings

A partner who isn’t attentive won’t value your time or feelings, as they live for themselves. They don’t care if you’re sobbing on the bed because a friend is sick or if you rearranged your schedule hoping to spend some time with them. They’re all about number one, and they don’t want anyone or anything to interrupt the plans they’ve made for themselves.

Sure, they don’t want to talk about your feelings when you’re having a bad day, but they will hunt you down when their day has been overwhelming. If they need a shoulder to cry on, you better be there for them. However, it’s not a two-way street.

8. An Inattentive Person Is Very Defensive

They will become very defensive if you try to confront them about the lack of interest in the relationship. They may turn everything around on you and make it your fault for the trouble in your relationship. When someone constantly uses the defensive card in a relationship, it’s typically because there’s something to hide.

According to an article on Marriage, the defensive partner sees everything in black and white, and they have a mentality that it’s all or nothing. They feel that things should be their way, and there’s no room for any compromise.

The article states that many people turn defensive mode when they think they’re being attacked. However, when someone constantly becomes defensive for no reason, it can harm the relationship.

9. They Break Promises

Assume you confront your wife for not spending any time with you and working constantly. She promises a date on Friday with dinner and a movie to appease you. All week, you look forward to that time together with her, only to have her break the promise and stay late at work.

This is a common scenario when someone never honors their word. The foundational building blocks you have are vital to keeping your relationship healthy. Indeed, trust is a big part of this foundation. If you can’t trust them to do what they say, can you trust them with anything?

It hurts when people make big promises but can’t deliver on them, and it’s often they make these promises to get folks off their back for the moment.

10. An Inattentive Person Keeps Score

One of the hallmarks of an inattentive partner is that they maintain a proverbial scorecard for you. They will keep a mental note of their kindness if they do something and expect you to repay it later. They see every little thing they do as something that needs settling in the future, as they don’t give away their services for free.

Consequently, they can use this leverage they have over you to keep you accountable. For instance, if you need to borrow some money for half of the bills, they won’t let you live it down until every penny is repaid. They will harp on the fact that you didn’t have the money and bring it up constantly.

inattentiveFinal Thoughts on the Inattentive Partner

Everyone wants a caring and loving partner, and searching for a soulmate is the goal of most folks. At times, your desire for a perfect person allows you to overlook some flaws that would otherwise disqualify an individual. You may want things to work out so badly that you put on blinders to keep all the bad stuff from plain sight.

Have you ever heard the saying that a square peg can’t fit into a round hole? There are times when that square peg finds a way to manipulate itself into a round hole. Of course, because you’re a hopeless romantic that wants things to work, you assume it’s the perfect fit. Sadly, it won’t be long until you figure out just how ill-suited this person is for your world.

The inattentive partner usually follows typical patterns, as they’re very selfish and narcissistic in their traits. For instance, they may insult you with a little jab here, and they may display actions that aren’t very loving or caring. It’s often that others will see these behaviors before you, as you’re still wearing those blinders and hoping it works out.

Once you examine this person and their motives, your eyes will be wide open. When you see the manipulator and inattentive person for who they indeed are, it’s hard for you to ever look at them the same again.

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